Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Humans are curious creatures and sometimes have more questions than answers. Over the centuries, however, we've accumulated quite a bit of knowledge. So if someone needs a quick fix of information, they can always open the Bible or an encyclopedia. Or Reddit. More and more people are turning to /r/AskReddit in search of the truth, and while the responses they get don't always seem scientifically sound, they're as hilarious as the funny questions themselves.
Want to know how to make friends? Best ask Reddit! Or what was ruined because too many people started doing it? Funny Reddit users will answer! If you're not afraid of slipping down the Reddit advice hole, check the compilation below at your own risk - you might get addicted to these top Reddit questions and answers quickly. So, scroll down to get the answers and upvote your favorites!
(Cover image: Russell Neches)
This post may include affiliate links.
RELATED:
#4
Bella Smith 7 years ago
Cracked me up so hard i got in trouble in class for laughing to loud and was getting a number of looks. This is so funny but so smart at the same time!
#8
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
Nothing could be more true then this. Just do it if you are alone and want friends, true friends.
#14
boredhuman 7 years ago
From a man to ladies: you might think the hints you give are very obvious, but they are not! And if you like a man, make the first step yourself. Don't get upset if a man doesn't get your "obvious" hints.
#17
#22
#25
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
I once asked someone (A non-drinker), what would you possibly do, if you are way to much drunk, Response: I won't remember a thing I guess. Friends for life.
#32
Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
I feel like I'm in a foreign culture where everybody knows the customs, the language and how to interact but me, and I'm just here terrified I'm going to try to say something nice but end up calling someone's mother a whore.
#34
GiantSpaceTiger 7 years ago
Zimbabwean Dollars. 10 billion is surely going to require more than a briefcase in most other dollar currencies!
#35
#38
Randy Inbred 7 years ago
I do this with my daughter. I have successfully stopped 'dabbing' and 'flossing' in my house. I hope to progress to stopping her wearing inappropriate clothing when she is a teenager using the same techniques.
#40
Pamela24 7 years ago
My favourite is (translated by me to English so sorry that it might sound like it): A man walks into the surgical ward in a hospital saying: "Hello, I think I'm a moth." A nurse replies: "I'm sorry, this is the surgical ward, psychiatry is on the third floor." "I know but you had the lights on."
#45
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
Hahahaa.. omg.. that would definitely fck someone's head if you just started living with them.
#46
CelSlade 7 years ago
My sister's cat suddenly seemed to get fatter overnight. We thought it was doing the above until one day we found it fighting with another cat - which looked exactly like it, but thinner. Things went 'click' and we realized we had been feeding an impostor who kept chasing my sister's actual cat off when he tried to come home. Smartest thing I've ever seen an animal do.
#48
Jessica Gunn 7 years ago
The one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eaters....does anyone remember those being everywhere??? Nope...see
#49
Ruby MacLeod 7 years ago
my primary school decided to take away the rubbish bins because they thought it would mean we would take our rubbish home but it just made us litter more
#52
#53
Jessica Gunn 7 years ago
Restaurant staff that spit in your food....very rare, people think it's common
#61
Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
Not telling people what you really think of them for the sake of being "polite". I wouldn't need to be so scared of being that annoying person everyone secretly hates but just puts up with if I knew people would just tell me if I was bothering them. Would save both our times and make for an actually pleasant interaction.
#64
Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
Having a product that has quantity like food, drinks or cosmetics, have a big, medium and small sizes, and making the difference in price between the big and the medium considerably smaller than between medium and small so that people will always buy the big, even when they definitely don't really need or want that much, since it's a "much better deal".
#66
Jocelyn Dae 7 years ago
My sister Brooke did this with chocolate chip cookies. She was babysitting for my other sister Shelly who lived above the business they owned. All ingredients were bought in bulk, & were not labeled. Brooke never baked again without tasting both the sugar & the salt.
#69
Gabby D 7 years ago
I had my baby 5minute after my water broke. I was in hospital. Unfortunately I was locked in the bathroom at the time. Long story short, I ended up delivering my own baby while about 10 midwives were trying to break the door down. They burst in, with one marine crawling across the floor, to find me holding my son and grinning like an idiot. I don't think I'm allowed to write what nickname my friends gave me after that!
#71
#76
Justina Garlaitė 7 years ago
well, if a person is killed by a landmine, how many organs there is left to donate?
#79
Tiny Dynamine 7 years ago
"Being honest." "I don't think that's a weakness." "I don't give a f**k what you think." Classic joke.
#80
Lisa Shelton 7 years ago
If your hands swell after touching them they are probably toxic. Might want to avoid licking them.
#81
#83
Bella Smith 7 years ago
i guess that isnt to crazy if you think of all the movies etc. and if fireworks count as explosives?
#84
GiantSpaceTiger 7 years ago
I wonder if 50 hawks could carry me aloft and safely away from the combat?
#85
karen snyder 7 years ago
The Fox And The Hound. Plot/Message: Even though, as children, it is obvious that we are all basically the same, in maturity it's a bittersweet necessity to discriminate violently based on class and race. The order of things only to be disturbed in the event a lesser shows complete subservience and loyalty by risking their life to save their superior; only then should we suffer their existence.
#87
Camilla Koutsos 7 years ago
It’s called hongi. It’s where you exchange the breathe of life. By engaging in this you become one with those around you. When done by those who know about it, it’s a bit more solemn and meaningful than other greetings.
#88
Isabel Care 7 years ago
My friend has asymptomatic strokes. Previously had a stroke, got a blinding headache? Go to hospital just in case
#90
#98
Judith Beilke 7 years ago
Hetalians (Hetalia is a show about countries) are told that women were not allowed to watch the Olympics in Greece because they were originally all naked when doing it.
#100
Randy Inbred 7 years ago
Did he/she know it was a vibrator at the time and what his mum used it for? If so then there is a LOT going on here...
#102
#105
#106
#107
Kineko 7 years ago
The secret is actually sleeping enough. It's easier to concentrate and learn, and you have energy to work out, which makes your brain work even better. It's also easier to just get things done instead of procasinating out of tiredness. Thus leaving you excess time for having fun and meeting friends.
#108
Randy Inbred 7 years ago
"Good job Guys! This looks almost real, like I'm actually on the frikkin moon!"
#109
#110
Bella Smith 7 years ago
My school is a private school and we where blazers and i was in grade 12 and i was walking outside and i realise i didnt have my blazer i walk inside grab my dressing gown walk a couple of meters into the school and absolutly die of embarrasment!
#111
#114
#115
#117
#118
#119
Crazy Cow Lady 7 years ago
"Why don't you have a boyfriend, are you a lesbian or something?" My uncle at a family party because I was still single in my late teens/early 20's
#120
#125
#126
#127
#128
#129
Hannah Ingram 7 years ago
in my experience, at my birthday party, took all my toys out of the wardrobe after I kept telling them not to, even stole some of them when I was sulking in the living room on my own
#131
steve white 7 years ago
Splitting matches in two ( no lighters in British prisons in the past)
#132
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
I once could cancel a lookup of a technican. I could not watch TV and thought it is the cable provider. Turned out my TV had deleted all stations by itself...
#136
birdhouse 7 years ago
Here is a bucket of cleaner. I'm going to leave you at this warehouse in the middle of nowhere to clean all of these appliances and cars. I don't have gloves so your hand may itch or sting a little from the cleaner. Oh and non of the facets or toilets work. See you in 4 hours.
#137
#139
#140
#142
#145
#146
Bella Smith 7 years ago
WOULDNT IT BE THEY ARE COVERED IN BLOOD OMG WHY DID I JUST SAY AND TYPE
#148
#150
#151
Leah Curtis 7 years ago
well, you would still have the same level of procrastination as before
#152
#154
#156
Robert Morson 7 years ago
First one that made me actually laugh out loud. Maybe that says something about my level of maturity.
#157
#159
Raquel Leal 7 years ago
Yes if it were chickens. They are angry, tiny, stupid dinosaurs that have no trouble on eating their own.
#160
#161
Karen Duncan 7 years ago
When I was about 6-7 my Dad was a commander of a battalion in the US Army. One night I overheard my parents talking. My Dad told my mother about a couple of young men that he caught with drugs in their living area. He said to her "What do they think I am stupid? I will always know if someone is hiding something that they should not have." It always stayed with me while growing up. Hence I was a really well behaved kid.
#162
#163
DE Ray 7 years ago
I used to believe that social liberalism and economic conservatism could co-exist (a la, Tony Blair's "Third Way", or Bill Clinton's economy), then I started working for the courts and realized that people only have the civil rights/liberties they can afford to pay a lawyer to defend. You want racial/gender/religious equality? Then you have to have government (any disinterested economic actor would do, but let's be serious, the only economic actor that is ever disinterested is government) enforcing anti-monopoly, anti-fraud, progressive taxation and public welfare laws.
#164
#165
Vlad Horobet 7 years ago
"it shines brighter during the day 'cause it's awake and it's dimmer during the night because is like in SleepMode"
#167
#168
#169
karen snyder 7 years ago
My husband is the proud owner of 40,000 "I love my crazy wife," bumper stickers. I already wondered why they came in two packs...
#170
Danny Lakowski 7 years ago
Mash your avocado and mix it with mayo, that way it doesn't slip n slide off your sammich, and you get the yumminess of avocado with every bite.
#171
Victoria Ashley 7 years ago
That a a restaurant, random people will sit at your table and make conversation. Also most places left a pitcher of water there for you.
#172
Master Markus 7 years ago
Star Trek is more peaceful and survivable for normal people, but Mad Max is COOLER...
#173
#174
#175
#176
#177
#178
karen snyder 7 years ago
"When a cop asks you for license and registration, there's no law that says you have to give it to them..."
#180
#181
athornedrose 7 years ago
i can put on as many clothes as i want to get warm, but i can only talk off so much clothing in hot weather before i'm arrested for public nudity
#182
#183
Tiny Dynamine 7 years ago
Fill a swimming pool, push Donald Trump into it and video the result.
#186
#188
Tiny Dynamine 7 years ago
Funny but not technically correct. You'd become a vacuum cleaner cleaner.
#190
#191
Judith Brunner 7 years ago
The bride and groom went home with their respective parents and not together
#192
#193
#194
#195
#196
Bway_Gonnabe11 7 years ago
OH MY GOSH...... MY CHILDHOOD.... WHAT IS THIS..... congrats, you just ruined my day
#197
Raquel Leal 7 years ago
In Portugal it isn't illegal to use drugs - ANY KIND of drugs - or pirating software, music and movies for personal use.
#198
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
I, on the other hand, am enriched for having learnt this
Load More Replies... 
Kaiyan Nageswaran 5 years ago
I wonder what they’re sister did went Ping938 pissed HER off. Never mind, I don’t want to know.
#201
Lisa Catacosinos 7 years ago
Not true in all butter cases. Just the ones where the company has a lot of brands. Everything is like that. Makeup, shampoo, etc
#202
birdhouse 7 years ago
Had to go to a gay bar to fix their glass washer and on the bottom of the work order it said "all repairmen must enter the rear." I laughed and questioned the owner and he smiled and said he could care less if we followed this rule. He just liked the sound of it. Great guy!
#205
Kaiyan Nageswaran 5 years ago (edited)
Negotiate yourself to King of the world. This guy knows what he is talking about.
#209
Anita Rapp 7 years ago
Whoever gets the filing in first gets the patent. See Alexander Graham Bell.
#210
#212
#213
#214
Katie Smith 7 years ago
I didn't say no but I did ask if he was serious since we'd only been dating three weeks. We've been married 15 years :)
#215
#216
#217
#218
#219
Robert Morson 7 years ago
Did it hurt when you clawed your way up from the fiery depths of Hell to ruin my life?
#222
#223
Nardo218 x 7 years ago
6th grade math teacher, first day of school, had a "special assembly" in his classroom to yell at all of us. I don't remember why, we hadn't done anything, it was the first day of school. I told my dad what happened and he said it sounded like the teacher just wanted to show who was boss. the guy was insane, he also yelled at us when we were too upset the day after a kid got killed in a horrible traffic accident.
#225
#226
Isabel Care 7 years ago
Liam Neeson, now my date has to change his undies and hide under the dvuet for the rest of his life. Socially inept me no longer has to go on a date
#227
Nostalgic Hyena 7 years ago
Or having a very loud conversation when I'm seriously trying to watch something.
#229
#230
#231
#232
#233
#234
#235
#236
Nardo218 x 7 years ago
I think you're right. Just like the kids are terrified to pick up the damn phone and make a call.
#237
#239
#240
Nardo218 x 7 years ago
syrups that go into your coffee are just high fructose corn syrup. there are no "secret recipes," no one has time for that or gives a s**t. the whipped cream also has high fructose corn syrup and it's made from heavy whipping cream. none of the fraps don't have coffee in them unless they have "coffee" or "espresso" in the name, you're just getting syrup and add-ins. The "fruit smoothies" are a very small amount of frozen fruit in sugar syrup, syrup, and milk. The largest part of any drink is milk.
#242
Jessica Belcher 7 years ago
But think of this, if you work mon thru thurs on 10 hr shifts, you could also work on Friday and get over time.
#244
#245
Compodulator 7 years ago
I so want to see the owner! He must've been confused as F**K! "wh... what's happening...? h-h-help?"
#246
#247
#248
#249
#253
#256
chaotic legal 3 years ago
" I remember you said, sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead "
#257
#258
kat newt shulder 7 years ago
whenever i like someone i'm either really awkward or really ferocious acting
#262
#264
GiantSpaceTiger 7 years ago
So.. a photo of her pussy? Ok, ok, but someone was going to make this joke. It's inevitable. I'm just obeying destiny's laws.
#265
#266
#267
#270
Nadja Lambacher 7 years ago
that is called stalking and she should have called the cops on him.
#273
#274
Haunting Spirit 7 years ago
I live in the Netherlands and also eat crickets. What's so weird about it?
#276
#277
karen snyder 7 years ago
already exists. For keeping infant males from pissing on your face, mid-diaper change. Pro-Tip; They hella don't work
#280
#281
GiveMeASloth 7 years ago
I'm a strict parent so this is a crazy terrible thing to have happened bc I watch my kids like crazy but I'm one week my kids broke my moms brew dish washer and laptop. We have no idea how bc there was 3 people in the house at the same time watching them
#283
Ruby MacLeod 7 years ago
if I could choose useless charities that are stupid, cos there are some really stupid charities
#286
#287
#288
GiveMeASloth 7 years ago
I'm 28 and I still don't watch the fox and the hound, or the iron giant. They aren't even allowed in my house. My kids have never seen them. They can watch them when they go to college but I don't even want a phone call discussing it. They better call their dad.
#289
#290
#291
#292
Nardo218 x 7 years ago
Oh - on the plus side -- most prepack sandwiches and sushies are all made at the same commisary, so they're safe to eat even if the convenience store looks sketchy. It's the same sammich as the one at the nicer store, I mean.
#295
Kineko 7 years ago
As an European I'm amazed that something that dumb exist at all. Here, you would get at least minimal wage AND get tipped IF you were actually doin your job well. I cannot wrap my head around idea that anyone can be tipped for half-assing their job just because it's basically legal to cheat your customer about amount money they need to have to eat in your restaurant. I used to tip real small amount of money when I was poor, but that was always a thank-you to the waiter. Making it a duty cheaps it, like if it was a duty to give a gold medal to everyone for just being alive.
#296
#298
#299
#300
#301
#302
#304
Christopher Gerlach 7 years ago
I remember working Night shift at a hotel. 48 hour work weeks. I would have happily worked 2x 24 shifts to get the rest of the week off. Now my work week is 37.5 hours. I'd be happy working two 19 hour days and getting it over with. Would have a lot more time to do stuff I enjoy.
#306
Sol Connor 7 years ago
Much less awkward I could think, without having to figure out small talk.
#307
chaotic legal 3 years ago
congrats red eyed traveler you have made the list . . . Imma go get some popcorn rn
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
This is the best article I’ve ever seen on Bored Panda. Given there haven’t been other articles like it, I gather it was an awful lotta work, but oh, how I’d dearly love to read an article like this every day!
Candace Craig 3 years ago
I know and can recommend a very efficient and trustworthy hacker. I got his email address on Quora , he is a very nice and he has helped me a couple of times even helped clear some discrepancies in my account at a very affordable price. he offers a top notch service and I am really glad I contacted him. He's the right person you need to talk to if you want to retrieve your deleted/old texts,call logs,emails,photos and also hack any of your spouse’s social network account facebook,instagram,snapchat,messenger chats,reddit,telegram and whatsapp, He offers a legit and wide range of hacking services. His charges are affordable and reliable, This is my way of showing appreciation for a job well done. contact him for help via address below.. Email : Leonardomitnickhacking@gmail .com
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
Way to go, Candace. Now his email can be spidered by EVERY SPAMMER ALIVE. Nice way to show your appreciation, you a*s.
Load More Replies...
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
This is the best article I’ve ever seen on Bored Panda. Given there haven’t been other articles like it, I gather it was an awful lotta work, but oh, how I’d dearly love to read an article like this every day!
Candace Craig 3 years ago
I know and can recommend a very efficient and trustworthy hacker. I got his email address on Quora , he is a very nice and he has helped me a couple of times even helped clear some discrepancies in my account at a very affordable price. he offers a top notch service and I am really glad I contacted him. He's the right person you need to talk to if you want to retrieve your deleted/old texts,call logs,emails,photos and also hack any of your spouse’s social network account facebook,instagram,snapchat,messenger chats,reddit,telegram and whatsapp, He offers a legit and wide range of hacking services. His charges are affordable and reliable, This is my way of showing appreciation for a job well done. contact him for help via address below.. Email : Leonardomitnickhacking@gmail .com
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
Way to go, Candace. Now his email can be spidered by EVERY SPAMMER ALIVE. Nice way to show your appreciation, you a*s.
Load More Replies... You May Like "Don't Test Me, I'm Already Broken": 30 Hilarious Memes From This Online Group For Programmers 50 Hilarious Ancient Egypt Memes You Don't Need To Know Hieroglyphics To Understand Someone Asked "What Is Something You Say To Scammers Instead Of Hanging Up?" And 50 People Gave The Best Responses
Rugilė Žemaitytė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Related on Bored Panda
