49 Unhinged Chats People Had On Dating Apps That Might Convince You To Stay Single
If you’ve never had to use an online dating app, first of all, congratulations, pat yourself on the back and take a moment to appreciate your life. Because, as the internet has shown, there is something about accessibility and distance that creates some truly horrible interactions.
We’ve gathered screenshots from dating apps that showcase just the sort of bizarre, cringy and horrible things people there have seen. So get comfortable as you scroll through, be sure to upvote your favorite posts and share your own thoughts, experiences and stories in the comments section down below.
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Bullet Dodged
Reminds me of a speed date session I attended once. One of the guys was looking for a potential wife and literally had a list of questions and requirements for all women (including very good cooking, cleaning etc.). One of them was "Why should I pick you?" - oh, but you shouldn't pick me, all mighty king, I'm unworthy 🤣
"So I can have the pleasure of telling you to fork off."
Load More Replies...For real 😂 I can tell you something “unique” about me but it’s not going to make me “better” than anyone else
Load More Replies...Men And Their Delusion
I had a friend who's boyfriend had a gigantic ding dong. She hated having s*x, saying it made her cry because of the pain. A big ding dong does not mean good s*x.
I had a college friend who said s*x was uncomfortable for her with her boyfriend because of the same reason.
Load More Replies...A little advice from your friendly neighborhood lesbian: you don't need a big dîck to please a woman, in fact you don't need a dîck at all. Focus on being a decent human being and having an interesting personality, don't make it all about your dîck. No one is impressed.
What if my d**k is the one with the interesting personality? He plays world tour poker championships. I just watch Netflix.
Load More Replies...No person with a big one is ecstatic over having one, because the ones who actually have a big one know how painful it is for partners and how hard it is to find partners even willing to try. It's not a flex.
big d**k dont mean nothing if you dont how to use ir
The Absolute Audacity. Do People Actually Fall For This?
Give me money or i send your d**k pic to your family sort of thing?
Load More Replies...There's a way to check your likes? And there are people out there who actually care?
I DONT GET IT LIKE D**K SIZE DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON! JEEZ!
Unless you need to feed a group of starving camper children in a Donner-Reed situation.
Load More Replies...We Are Surprisingly No Longer Matched
If you can say at the very starting, imagine when you're into a serious relationship.
Gross. You expect women to go on a date with you after you tell them this?
I was never that woman who only ordered salads (unless I really wanted The Cobb salad at Red Robin). Yeah, I'll eat a double cheeseburger in front of you and not think twice. Eating well is one of life's simple pleasures.
What
There isn't a issue for the men. It's women who for some reason want a man who's 6'5. Plus it would look like he's taking his kid for a walk if she's 4'11
Load More Replies...No way in hell can someone 4'11" distinguish between someone who's 6'2" and someone who's 6'6".
The tall one could use the short one as an end table. I've seen stranger though.
There was an adorable goth couple at my school. He was long and lanky, and she was just *tiny*. I overheard him calling her his "fairy". When they wanted to kiss, she would stand three steps up the staircase. While the odds aren't good, I hope they built a life together.
Load More Replies...She needs someone to reach the cereal from the top shelf in the supermarket.
She should climb the shelves like the rest of us who are too stubborn to ask for help.
Load More Replies...Either she's desperate for average-height kids or likes standing while... well,...
I don't get it. Height is not something you can control and is not an indicator of any type of personality. Girls need to get a clue.
Yeah... That means this chick wants the 1% man or trying to find stupid reasons not to date instead of just saying "not interested"
You should see my uncle and aunt. Uncle is 6'5", aunt is south of 5 foot, I tower over her and I am 5' 6". They make such a cute couple, but I have always wondered if she hates being under his armpit when he puts his arm around her shoulders - this would bother me, I don't want your pit on my hair!
Load More Replies...Had "Phd" In My Profile
I don't know; I love when people come out of the gate waving every red flag they've got. Saves me a lot of time.
Load More Replies...Of course a woman's education is unimportant. She doesn't need to think, she just needs to obey her man. What is this even about, you suggesting that a man actually talk with a woman about anything other than how to please him? /s
0-100
Hold on, boobies. BP is NOT censoring that word in comments.
propably a plural issue...b**b...boobies..*check*
Load More Replies...Bloke is a total idiot and still most likely living at his mother's house.
Unless he comes back with "yeah the blue footed boobies hanging out with you in pic #4, biggest I've ever seen". I do love a fowl pun.
Load More Replies...The Best Irony Is That He Is Thirty
Found out the other day that Leo was famous for dumping his girlfriend when they hit 26, guess how old Kate Winslet was during filming... Now you know why he slowly sank away, there was plenty of room on that door...
Load More Replies...I was dating 30+ women when I was 22yo. Women in their 30s and 40s are awesome. They know the world and they know themselves. That knowledge is important for a long term relationship.
We just have to pop you in the microwave and bang in your lid for a few minutes every month or two.
Load More Replies...My baby daddy thinks he is the greatest and doesn't date anyone older than 28 and he's 44. Wonder why he never gets a date 😆😆😅
So A Friend Just Received This Sad Break Up Text. What A Fun Way To Find Out You're One Of 4
This Lady Is 44
it's not, it's just plain proyection, the other person is far from immature
Load More Replies...They also run an at-home daycare and have at least one tarp fence in their yard. M**h may be involved.
Load More Replies..."Well that sucks because my daddy's the Duke!"
Load More Replies...Wow This Was Actually Going Really Well
Wow, this broke my heart and I have no iron in the fire on this one.
How The Turn Tables
A woman once matched with me, and before I could say anything, she texted, "If you were taller and lost a little weight, you'd be kind of all right." Then unmatched me. I sat there baffled for a couple minutes, then went right back to my beer and bag of pork rinds.
To be fair, in the late 90s I saw a fun post in an online 'guestbook', followed the link, then messaged the guy telling him his website was shït. We celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary next year 😂
I Forgot To Only Dress For Men
If she started laminating her eyebrows then I agree with him. Although I would never say that to someone’s face. I don’t understand that styling. I also don’t understand most eyebrow styles throughout history - let’s pluck them and make them thin, draw them on, make them arched, make them bushy… it seems so odd to me that people follow eyebrow trends.
There is also "shave them off and tattoo them on." I'll never understand that trend.
Load More Replies...I'm 24m, I'm Getting Too Old For This. I Guess I Dodged A Bullet With Her Though
"I might play games at a Casino but I'm not a gambler" was the bit of this that stood out to me.
What was actually said, "I might play games at a casino _one day_ but I'm not a gambler..." stood out to me.
Load More Replies...I Hate This Place
A relationship is not transactional, it's both sides choosing to give, not forced to fulfil one end of a contract.
Load More Replies...This Girl Left Me On Delivered For Two Years. She Messaged Me When I Updated My Profile With A Hoodie I Made For My Future Clothing Line. The Audacity And Entitlement
It's already the name of an open-source digital audio editor that is quite good.
Load More Replies...Leave it on delivered longer than two years and focus on your clothing line -_-"
Alright Then
What a vile erm I’d say girl but ,I ain’t so sure she’s human lol , talk about down right RUDE '!
Accusing someone of being a s*x offender? Oh gosh nope.... Just ignore them...
They are both on a dating site though. By definition, flirting is expected. Odd to have such a strong negative reaction to it.
Load More Replies...Rip
Not crappy to the point that it requires telling someone to f**k off, but it is really, REALLY bad.
Load More Replies...Every Chick I Match With Man, It's Either This Or I Get Ghosted
If someone says "I'm down", my inclination is to ask what the matter is and try to cheer them up. Weird world.
Uh... it's short for "I'm down with that", as in "I would like to do this thing with you". It's got nothing to do with feeling down.
Load More Replies...This is so cringe. Like, wouldn't you be embarrassed asking strangers for money like that? Have some respect for yourself.
She writes like she is 15. Anyway, he saw where the conversation was headed and rightfully bailed.
"Non Creep" Rages Himself Out Of A Date
Talk about a self own. Guys like this make me concerned about the next generation.
...Or makes me feel safer because I know his genes and worldview won't be passed on, I haven't decided yet.
Load More Replies...Dude, you're the one who brought up lunch, and creeps. Then you said you don't like lunch, and proved you were a creep. How dumb can one person be
Haha it's always hilarious to see dudes talk themselves out of a potential date
However, the plus side is that she doesn't have to waste her time on this guy...
Load More Replies...Men LOVE telling themselves that the reason they are alone is because the ONLY thing ALL women want is $$$$$. Right bruh. Its totally not YOU.
Images You Can Smell
Oh.Hell.No. (The Trump banners alone would be a big NOPE for me)...
They can use this photo in one of those "spot the missing item games" and you will never finish the level and end up deleting the app, just as I am trying to delete this from my brain.
sooooo .... this how an incel room looks like ? Okay ... pigsty, trump banner, sh1t and c_u_m on the couch, pabst, multiple dirty brown bags. Is it sanitizer or w4nk1ng lube, who knows. Run girl, run for your life. But first ... there was no clue before ?
Effort 0, Expectation 100
Not quite sure which is which but one is in serious need of an Attitude Adjustment (IYKYK)...
My people!!! Seriously, I still remember when John Cena started with the WWF/WWE and now he's broken Ric Flair's record and is retiring.... God, I feel so old now. Not even gonna lie, I'll probably cry like a baby when he has his last match. 😭
The Way Conversation Shifts
A cold makes me red, your balls are blue. Hooking up with you is something I’d never do.
I don't know. With how quickly it ended, this guy is like a champion sprinter, carefully partitioning his effort to a tiny, admittedly underwhelming, burst of good guy energy. It's ridiculously efficient, but mostly just generally ridiculous.
Load More Replies...Its always out of nowhere....normal conversation...then suddenly HE IS 13 AGAIN.
Was It My Fault That Asked Him What Option He Would Like? Also The Guy Is 24
Isn't the internet FULL of nudes? Like, millions of them, free to access. Why is nudes from someone on a dating app so important?
because these people want to evaluate actual prospective sexual partners, probably. They can't google "nudes" and then meet up with that person.
Load More Replies...Woman From My Old High-School With Two Kids Looking For Dates
she has way too much of that, she thinks going out with her is worth at least 500 dollars. She is missing awareness
Load More Replies...why the f**k do you need $100 for your toes if you aren't getting your nails done? gotta shave the bunions off?
I was assuming she meant she doesn’t get her fingernails done - the same place probably does manicures and pedicures, but who knows.
Load More Replies...Common decency? Self respect? Besides, asking for money before a date, isn’t that low key p**********n
Because you like your women the way you like your food. :)
Load More Replies...I'm not sure but I guess there's something that will be perpetually missing: A partner!!!
Doesn't Put In Any Effort, Wants To Be Impressed
She sounds like one of those, "I said no, because I wanted him to try harder" girls that doesn't understand she brings nothing to the relationship
Any type of mind games or guilt trips and I'm out.
Load More Replies...Why So Rude?
So This Is The Worst So Far. Los Angeles Is Impossible. 39 Year Old Guy Has No Chance
He's not impoverished; his funds are just tied up in banking red tape. Give the prince some credit. Literally. Credit, debit: He could use either card if you've got it.
Load More Replies...Less Than 48 Hours Of Talking
Nope your right there lol he clearly isn’t is he 😂🤦♀️
Load More Replies...PSA: If your first interaction with someone you're flirting with someone involves you mentioning any form of a 'poopy hole', you're not getting laid. You'll be lucky if you even get a response. Wtf, man.
She knows excatly what he's talking about. She's trolling and it's hilarious
Won't it be a thing, when he inevitably arrives in prison, when someone introduces him to the Minivan?
Why are so many guys like this? Why do they think talking like that is going to work for them? I honestly don't understand the mentality.
It means their only "exposure" to s*x and women is through p*rn. They honestly believe all women are the same and that what p*rn shows is what is expected. This dude very likely 100% believes he is being appropriate as he has no other context for how to behave. It also explains why so many of these folks get so mad when they are rejected: they *honestly* believe they are "doing it right" and, so, are genuinely confused when the person on the receiving end is like "WTF?".
Load More Replies...I Sometimes Find People Just So Idiotic
Not even going to lie, read it as that on the first read-through. It took me a while to realize that I think chloe bhature is a type of food and not a typo. I can't even tell what region the food is from. I am intensely curious, though.
Load More Replies...Dating Is Hard
"We aren't engaged in the US yet,only Mexico" bruh you misunderstand the concept
Jurisdictional engagement? Interesting... So I'm married only in Spain and Italy, but single in, let's say, France?
Load More Replies...Why not? It's OK for Republican politicians.
Load More Replies...Wait so he thinks as they got engaged in Mexico lol n not in USA , he can cheat in USA, as its not official oh boy so many questions 😂
I Got Dumped Over My New Piercing
I mean it this time... This time for sure... For reals this time... Legend says he's still sending messages.
Yep. Probably at some point within the next 10 messages he will use the word "entitlement".
Load More Replies...That’s one way to get shot of losers lol ,him got issues ,that new piercing did her a favor 😂
It's Over For 5'5 Christmas Elves
Bullet dodged, stay away from someone so shallow.
Load More Replies...People are so superficial anymore. What a person should be judged about is their merit and how good of a heart they have not their height 🙄
If women want proper height on men then men want proper weight on women. I mean if we are going to be shallow we may as well go as shallow as possible.
I'm 5'5 myself, so absolutely no problem, kissing is so much more comfortable when we're the same height. Also, super convenient if you live together: no furniture/toilets/sinks/other stuff too high or too low for anyone
Well, That Escalated Quickly
I Am So Done With This App, And Men
Pretty sure that while he's a bit of an idiot, he just has poor wording. Awkward attempt to relate to her job. expecting her to jokingly go off on a cheesy marketing spiel. He was asking her to spin her profile, not objectifying her. Buuut given the people you run into on dating apps, I kinda get the assumption.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of when I applied to work at a grocery store years ago - during the interview process, the department manager asked me what my favorite possession was. I immediately said "My cat!" She looked at me for a moment and said "No... I want you to give me an example of how you'd try to sell something to a customer... pick something that isn't alive" XD (I said my van. I love that damned van. And yes, I pitched a hell of a sales pitch to her about my van and got the job, lol!)
Profile Says She’s 27 And Then I Get This
What? Maybe she was just visiting them? People over 18 don’t see their parents? [nevermind my brain skipped over the part where her phone was taken by her parents :S]
I mean, people do sometimes live with their parents beyond 18. I'm more curious what she did to get her phone taken away. Like, what rule exists that you can punish someone older than 18 by taking away their phone? You can get away with it if their under 18, but like... people actually need their phone beyond 18.
Load More Replies...Its kind of disgusting how often men say "I cant believe you are single and not ugly" and then be offended when they get called out for being shallow and superficial AF. But WOMEN are the picky ones...??? Psshhhh
Huh?. Context needed. So confused by this. Can't they just talk over facetime/zoom/teams etc?. They can obviously message?. Video call or whatever?. Or am I gonna see this in next years horror blockbuster at the cinema?
Very possible she is just stalling at giving the number til they chat a bit more
Load More Replies...Back On Tinder And Already Having A Great Time
That last sentence was predictable given the amazing effort they put into their messages.
There’s Zero Effort, And Then There’s This
An efficient, if ungrammatical response. I don't understand how some people are still typing as though they HAVE to respond IMMEDIATELY, and there is a set character limit. It might not be true, but people ARE going to assume that if you won't take the time to reply properly, that you won't take time to do a relationship properly.
Happens To Us Women Too
I grow citrus trees (I have quite a few!!) so I'd honestly love this pick-up line XD
Swears in Swedish winter climate.. edit: regarding growing citrus outside.
Load More Replies...Hey, they saved you the trouble of wasting your time on someone who's unworthy of it, so orange you glad?
Dodged A Bullet
Bumble literally advertises as a friend finding site..
Load More Replies...Unless their profile says something different, maybe there is nothing wrong here? From the wording, perhaps they want to practice their English?
Welp
I Made A Tinder Like An Hour Ago
"You don't look like a virgin" "Oh okay lemme just-" *tranforms into a non-virgin looking person*
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...I Guess I Should Ask Her To Come Cook And Clean Since She's A Girl?
What sort of stupidity is this, expecting someone to pay for your date, just because he's a guy. How about paying for yourself?
OTOH some guys get pissed if you try to pay all or half. Either way, if anyone is arguing about money on the first date, they aren't going to work out.
Load More Replies...I always offered separate checks. One guy ordered surf & turf, an appetizer and several cocktails, then wanted to just "split the bill" of somewhere around $200. I was like, I don't think so. I had an entree that was $23 and a glass of iced tea.
Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but I believe that if a gentlemen asks a lady on a date, he pays for it. Quite what happens when a homie hits up a ho, I have no idea.
These days, I've found most dates want to split the first bill so there's no sense of "obligation" from either side.
Load More Replies..."I'm not a traditionalist, but I expect that I'd be the one paying on a first date since I'm a guy."
Load More Replies...I Felt Bad Ghosting This Guy Because We Had Been Talking And Making Plans To Meet. I Stopped Texting Him For A Day Or So Because My Dad Passed And I Wanted To Explain Myself
...We're doing a father-son scavenger hunt that we do every year. It's a family tradition where we share our deepest secrets and reaffirm our friendship. We even do a pinky swear! Then it's ice cream at the fair grounds, before the real fun starts. I'd invite you too, but you're not family. I'll send pics!!
Is It A Crime To Be Fit?
I know they're just throwing the other person's conceit back in their face, but honestly, it wouldn't be a bad dating philosophy. Most of us are average, as a rule, and our ideal partner is most likely also average. People chase shiny objects only to be disappointed and reminded of their own inadequacies. It wastes time and energy while your ideal partner goes overlooked.
To refuse someone because you find them very pretty is as stupid as to refuse someone because they're not beautiful. Statistics are one thing, but your ideal partner could be a model, you just don't know. And no, pretty / beautiful / handsome people neither have to be a disappointment, nor do they "remind me of my inadequacy" because not being beautiful ISN'T an "inadequacy" - or only for those who are very shallow. You've got a lot to learn, Ryan....
Load More Replies...“I'm 0.0075% Of The Population And Somebody Will Recognize My Value I'm Sure”
0.0075% of what population? One person would be 0.0075% of a population of 13,333.
Because it is. He lists “black” together with having abs and being rich. While these are unimportant and very superficial criteria for a romantic relationship, at least they are understandable as such. Race isn’t.
Load More Replies...This Is Borderline Rude
The Progression Of An Online Dating Conversation When You're Busy For 4 Hours
No, he has an issue with women who do not answer him immediately.
Load More Replies...If you're "busy for four hours" why would your respond to not one, but two messages on a dating app? To then vanish into the air, expecting the poor dude to realize you were busy and NOT being a rude a*s? And @David what did HE do? Question why she ghosted?
I Don’t Know How To Respond To That. Just For Context, He Is 22 And I’m 27, I Was Only Teasing Him
Props to Ethan, that was a pretty funny response to what you said, you fired a shot, he fired back.
Could have just used regular shots instead of peeing on them before. Yeah, shots were fired but this is just weird.
Load More Replies...He could also have said "then sing me a lullaby", but no, it had to be about t/ts, right? Because goodness forbid that a man shouldn't mention our breas/s for five minutes straight.
Calling a stranger a baby in first contact generally doesn't guarantee respectable conversation to follow.
Load More Replies...After Only Texting Her For A Few Hours The Previous Night
Can someone help me with the blurred word on the last text please? Edit - thank you all, I had a brain hiccup and forgot you can click the link below!
"lowlife" - don't know why it is blurred by BP.
Load More Replies...Hopefully That Helped
Met my wife on a dating site. Been together 25 years. It can happen :)
Let me guess, you were both looking for a life long partner and not just a hook up, and you waited until at least the third date or later to have s*x? And by the second date, you had both put the app away and stopped swiping, so that you could focus on each other? You probably didn't have a lot of expectations and a really reasonable attitude about it, right? So basically you went looking for a friend and ended up with a partner? My god what dating apps have become since those days. But the apps aren't the problem.
Load More Replies...Gallery mode sign (when using Chrome) blocks quite a few of the first lines of text. Too annoying to continue reading.
The more I see these, the more I’m tempted to make a tinder account of my cat. It seems like a solid hobby.
Honestly, if I ever re-enter the dating pool (am 43, recently got out of 24-year-long relationship) I think I WOULD make a dating account of my pets, since they're part and parcel of my life and you're not divesting me from them XD (my ex tried to!) It might actually help me find someone who also loves dogs and cats XD
Load More Replies...Yep, I think I'm just fine being alone. I was with my ex for 24 years (we met when I was 18 and he was 19) so I'm not USED to being alone, and ngl I AM lonely, but dating seems HELLA terrifying these days XD
Met my partner six years ago through Plenty of Fish. She was the first person I had a conversation with once I joined. We chatted via message and I deleted the app after about 48 hours of adding it to my phone. Best app I’ve ever used! I’m obviously very glad I tried internet dating as I met her but I also look at these ^^^ types of conversations and think how much I would hate to be involved with any of those individuals! I got very lucky!
The headline is "... That Might Convince You to Stay Single." These convince me to stay married! So glad I will never, ever have to date again!
Met my wife on a dating site. Been together 25 years. It can happen :)
Let me guess, you were both looking for a life long partner and not just a hook up, and you waited until at least the third date or later to have s*x? And by the second date, you had both put the app away and stopped swiping, so that you could focus on each other? You probably didn't have a lot of expectations and a really reasonable attitude about it, right? So basically you went looking for a friend and ended up with a partner? My god what dating apps have become since those days. But the apps aren't the problem.
Load More Replies...Gallery mode sign (when using Chrome) blocks quite a few of the first lines of text. Too annoying to continue reading.
The more I see these, the more I’m tempted to make a tinder account of my cat. It seems like a solid hobby.
Honestly, if I ever re-enter the dating pool (am 43, recently got out of 24-year-long relationship) I think I WOULD make a dating account of my pets, since they're part and parcel of my life and you're not divesting me from them XD (my ex tried to!) It might actually help me find someone who also loves dogs and cats XD
Load More Replies...Yep, I think I'm just fine being alone. I was with my ex for 24 years (we met when I was 18 and he was 19) so I'm not USED to being alone, and ngl I AM lonely, but dating seems HELLA terrifying these days XD
Met my partner six years ago through Plenty of Fish. She was the first person I had a conversation with once I joined. We chatted via message and I deleted the app after about 48 hours of adding it to my phone. Best app I’ve ever used! I’m obviously very glad I tried internet dating as I met her but I also look at these ^^^ types of conversations and think how much I would hate to be involved with any of those individuals! I got very lucky!
The headline is "... That Might Convince You to Stay Single." These convince me to stay married! So glad I will never, ever have to date again!
