81 Of The Most Australian Tweets We Had The Pleasure To Read

Little known fact, the bitey deathmaker 3000 are actually highly skilled and very coordinated dancers

Didn't you use a banana for scale

If there isn't an app that can identify spiders from a picture, taken at safe distance, would someone with the skills make one? Please?

I LOLD. Brilliant!

I set Siri at last to Australian and FINALLY it understands what I am saying (Aussie abroad).

Very Australian

I'm Australian and c@#t is used in every sentence it has now replaced the word MATE hey C, love you C, how you going C totally normal

I mean, it's technically pretty accurate

Makes sense

...googles "NZ stuff" ...

I like it I wonder if they have any stuffy stuff stuff...you get nz Etsy plushies called stuffies

White Pointers = light-skinned tourists gesturing at things they want their tourist friends to look at.

I call 'bathers' swimming cossies, or cossy

Actually we call tight swimwear "budgie smugglers"

So master swimwear is?

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in my dirty minded brain when i heard capsicum i imagined a a caprisun filled with cum caprisum + cum = capricum take the r and replace it with a s you get capsicum

Can someone Australian translate Drongo for me please?

“so many dumb ways to die…”

A drongo is a slow-witted or stupid person: a fool. This great Australian insult was originally an RAAF term for a raw recruit. It first appeared in the early 1940s, but its origin reaches back to the name of the racehorse Drongo, who ran around in the early 1920s

Is there affordable Healthcare in Australia? Unlike the place you know I am talking about.

Sounds like a perfectly valid reason.

I say again, assume everything in Australia can and will kill you

I had a friend the other day post on facebook that her daughter said she found something 'especially dangerous'. Thankfully it turned out to not be the snake she thought it was but a very pregnant blue tongue lizard and was taken away by animal rescue.

Classic Aus

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Looks like script for a porn movie

15 on a good day

We’ve been having our hot week here… 28 at midnight and 30 degrees before the sun cracked the horizon - prediction early 40’s by midday. She gets a bit warm.

Record heat is .3 seconds!

Considering we're currently being heat murdered, yes.

B-but theyre hungy

I haven't had one in my house yet but there is one who hangs around in the garden at night making a noise like a goblin with indigestion.

Hey. Don't complain about your adorable possums. Be thankful they're not the North American variety.

Omg so glad it's not just me

There is literally a popular children's book called "Possum in the house" about "A frisky possum leads the family in a frenetic chase through the pantry, kitchen, bathroom, study, and other rooms of the house."

I DONT KNOW WHO YOUR KIDDING AMERICANS TALK LIKE THIS (ADD A JESUS CHRIST FOR ADDED EFFECT)