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Nobody’s perfect, and everyone messes up from time to time—it’s only human. But a huge part of being a decent person is taking responsibility for your mistakes, learning from them, and also offering an apology if it’s needed. Though, truth be told, not everyone’s good at owning up to what they’ve done—they either get defensive or their ego gets in the way.

Internet user Alexandra (@alexccarterr) went massively viral online after inviting everyone to pretend that the comment section of her post is how guys apologize. Many of the responses she got were hilarious, frustrating, eerily accurate, and sparked a wider discussion about apologies in general. We’ve collected some of the best comments to share with you. Keep scrolling to read them.

Bored Panda reached out to Alexandra, who sparked the massive online discussion, and she was kind enough to share her thoughts on good and bad apologies with us. You'll find our full interview with her below.

Alexandra's online post was viewed over 17.7 million times and received more than 184.1 thousand comments

#1

Text screenshot about frustrating male apologies, featuring a dramatic reaction.

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Little Bit
Community Member
8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or smashes up everything in the room. "You made me do that".

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We were curious about what inspired Alexandra to make the post in the first place and whether she expected such a huge response to it. She told Bored Panda that the internet's response was a complete surprise.

"Honestly. It was a random post that I thought would maybe get my normal 300-view range. I did not expect it to get that much attention," she said.

"I already had a few comments that I knew someone would say. Like the 'idk what you want me to say.' I think it was just something a lot of people related to with men having a hard time expressing emotions and feelings," Alexandra told us.

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    #2

    Screenshot of a sarcastic comment highlighting how some men apologize, with 617.5K likes.

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    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good, that way you may just stop embarrassing yourself

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    #3

    Comment screenshot with apologetic quote, "Sorry you took it that way," highlighting infuriating ways men apologize.

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    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How else was I meant to take it? Think about what you said and how y0oud feel if someone splaid it to your, want me to ask your mum?

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    We asked Alexandra for her perspective on what lies at the core of a proper apology. She was happy to share her thoughts on this.

    "While saying 'sorry' is sometimes hard, I feel that a true apology is acknowledging that someone feels the way they do," she opened up to Bored Panda.

    "You don’t always have to understand why someone may feel a certain way. You can say 'sorry' without downplaying or neglecting someone’s feelings just because you don’t understand why."

    Alexandra also urged everyone to "always be kind," no matter what.

    #4

    Haley Adams comments on frustrating ways men apologize with 492.5K likes.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you knew this, why did you even do this whatever that would make me mad?? 🙄

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    #5

    Comment highlighting infuriating ways men "apologize" by diverting to irrelevant issues.

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    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my ex-wife. She never once apologized to me. She would just list every thing I did wrong from the beginning of our relationship.

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    It would be an understatement to say that Alexandra’s post was popular. It was a huge success and literally reached millions of people around the globe. It just goes to show how much a relatable topic with room for humor really resonates with people.

    At the time of writing, her post was viewed 17.7 million times on TikTok. What’s more, it got more than 1.9 million likes and 184.1 thousand comments. Bored Panda has reached out to Alexandra via Instagram for further comment about the popularity of her post, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

    The Harvard Medical School notes that it’s still important to apologize when you’ve hurt or angered someone, even if you don’t believe what you said or did was bad. The same goes for situations where you believe you’re fully in the right and the other person is completely in the wrong: an apology can go a long way.

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    It’s also important to let go of your ideas about who’s right and wrong in the situation and to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Understanding another person’s experiences is a core part of emotional intelligence, which, in turn, lies at the foundation of healthy and productive relationships.

    #7

    Comment by user "jaylene": "Well sorry I can’t read your mind" with 809.4K likes and a reply icon.

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    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you shut up for five minutes I'll tell you whats on my mind

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    #8

    Screenshot of a comment reading, "I'm sorry you feel that way. It wasn't my intention," illustrating ways men apologize.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the most infamous non-apology ever!

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    #9

    Social media comment with emojis expressing frustration over men's apologies.

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    Helena
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for that 70s chuckle.

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    Naturally, an apology doesn’t really matter if it’s not genuine. If you don’t mean it, why bother saying ‘sorry’ at all? When your apology is genuine, not only do you acknowledge your responsibility for your actions, but you also validate the other person’s (hurt) feelings.

    In short, a real apology shows not only that you’re sorry and that you care about the other individual but that you’re also going to make amends and avoid similar mistakes in the future.

    #10

    Woman's comment on infuriating apology, questioning relationship motives.

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    #11

    Comment from Emily on silent treatment related to men apologizing, with 67.6K likes.

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    #12

    Comment showing frustrating ways men apologize, with text: "I just feel like no matter what I do you're mad at me", 9,941 likes.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "There's a reason for that. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Better check yourself, pal."

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    Psychiatrist and apology expert Dr. Aaron Lazare explained that good apologies have four elements.

    First, you have to acknowledge the offense and confirm that your behavior was unacceptable. One potential pitfall to avoid here is the use of vague or evasive language. You should not word your apology in a way that minimizes your offense or the victim’s level of hurt.

    #13

    Text screenshot with a user comment: "What do you want me to do? I said I’m sorry!" Highlighting apology frustration theme.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Then say it like you mean it!"

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    #14

    Gillian's comment reads “I GUESS IM THE BAD GUY THEN,” highlighting frustrating apologies from men.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You're right. You are, in this case anyway."

    #15

    Nelly's comment on how men apologize with a dismissive remark.

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends on the situation 2 days ago. Remember, scorekeeping is never a good thing in a relationship.

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    Secondly, you should take the time to explain exactly what happened. However, you have to balance things delicately here. You want to offer an explanation without seeming like you’re excusing your behavior.

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    With that in mind, the Harvard Medical School points out that sometimes the best strategy is to say that “there is no excuse.”

    #16

    A text comment reading, "idk what u want me to say," with high engagement on social media.

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    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been this guy. I have apologized, I have tried to come to a solution on how to avoid messing up again, but I'm still getting yelled at. I really don't know what I can do at this point, and I just want the barrage of verbal abuse to stop. But there's really nothing I can say, I just have to sit there and take it.

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    #17

    Screenshot of a comment about men's ways to apologize, saying "I guess I'm just the worst guy ever," with crying emoji.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah. You're just pathetic.

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    #18

    Comment on problematic ways men apologize, reads "Anything starting with 'I’m sorry, but,'" showing frustration with apologies.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Take your sorry butt out of here!"

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    The third element of a truly good apology is to express remorse. In short, if you really regret your decision and feel ashamed, you should speak up. The last element is offering to make amends.

    This is fairly straightforward if you’ve physically damaged someone’s things or property; you offer to pay to get it repaired or replace the item. However, when you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, you should acknowledge the pain they felt while promising to do better moving forward.

    #19

    Screenshot of a comment on men apologizing, discussing vague responses and highlighting communication issues.

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    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Tell me what I can do to fix this that doesn't require any effort from me."

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    #20

    Text response on social media about men's apologizing ways: "I was literally gonna buy you flowers I thought about it."

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry. No Brownie points for you. (Brownie points are an imaginary social currency, which can be acquired by doing good deeds or earning favor in the eyes of another, often one's spouse.)

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    #21

    Text from a user with 83.2K likes stating sarcastic apology, "I guess the night's ruined now."

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    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So much passive aggressiveness. It's the worst! "I am sorry I ruined the evening, I hope I can make it up to you". OR "What can I do to get things back on track so that our evening doesn't end like this?" Maybe the answer is nothing btw, and you have to accept that. People sometimes need to process their feelings. FFS!! Open communication is so much better than this nonsense. This whole series is triggering some kind of PTSD from past relationships.

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    Reporting on the book ‘Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies,’ by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy, NPR states that there are six and a half steps to making great apologies.

    For one, you should say that you’re actually sorry, not that you’re devastated or that you regret something. Furthermore, you should be specific about what it is you’re apologizing for.

    #22

    Comment reading “Your right I’m the bad guy it’s always me sorry,” highlighting ways men apologize.

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    Kabuki Kitsune
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he's saying this, then your behavior is at question. It points to you always talking down to him, blaming every problem, regardless of cause, on him, and treating him like he's the whole reason anything bad happens. You are the problem in this relationship, and if he's smart he drops you like a bad habit.

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    #23

    Comment on infuriating ways men apologize, questioning intent to hurt someone named Nicole.

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    Kathy Brooke
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. I think you wake up and don't think about Nicole at all.

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    #24

    A comment by Stormie Dawn saying "Believe what you want" with 72.9K likes; relates to frustrating "apologize" tactics.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I believe you're in the wrong here, pal."

    Next, you want to take ownership of your behavior, avoid making excuses, and explain why your mistake won’t happen again in the future. You should also make reparations for your mess-up.

    The last (half of a) step when apologizing is to genuinely listen to the person you’ve hurt so they can have their say.

    #25

    A comment on ways men apologize: “I’m not doing this rn,” by user Kat, expressing frustration.

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    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok we can talk about it at work. I'll be there at 10. In fact it's a good time for me to. Make sure there's a chair next to your desk

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    #26

    Sera Nicole comment about infuriating apologies, "I guess I'm just a terrible person idk why you're with me," 11.8K likes.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Because a train wreck always captures people's attention."

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    #27

    A comment reads, "then break up with me if you’re so unhappy," highlighting frustrating apologies.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Thanks. I will."

    According to Ingall, using the word ‘regret’ is all about how you feel while ‘sorry’ is about how the other person feels. In other words, it’s vital to “keep the other person’s feelings at top of mind.”

    A genuine apology can be very powerful even if it comes late, helping people heal and move on.

    #28

    A comment on how some men apologize, showing a user stating "crying so you have to console him instead," with likes and replies.

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    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes that is a valid reaction, if it's a pattern of behavior kick him out as its emotional blackmail p

    #30

    Comment with 71K likes showing an infuriating apology, blaming past events for current behavior.

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    Stephanie Did It
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm trying to quit smoking (or whatever) and I'm in a bad mood so you need to put up with me"

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    How good would you say you are at apologizing, dear Pandas? How often do you run into people who make half-baked apologies or try to twist the situation in their favor? What is the very best apology that you’ve ever received?

    Why do you think people find it so difficult to take responsibility for their actions? If you have a free moment, share your thoughts in the comments below.

    #32

    Text screenshot showing a sarcastic comment about men apologizing, focusing on trivial details instead of the issue.

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    #33

    Screenshot of chat showing infuriating apologies, with humorous emojis and high engagement.

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one’s also iffy. There are people who delight in gaslighting others.

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    #34

    Comment by Sophie with eye-roll emoji: "I'm sorry you feel like you need an apology."

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    #35

    Isabelle comments, "Yea I'm not reading all that," highlighting ways men "apologize" with over 748.8K likes.

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    #36

    Comment by aliianaaaavf expressing frustration with a sarcastic apology about having friends.

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    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can just not the idiots who talk to me like I'm a whole.

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    #37

    Comment on men's apologies causing high blood pressure, with 177.8K likes.

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    #38

    Comment on how some men "apologize" with frustration: "I'll just delete everything then," with high engagement count.

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    #39

    Comment saying, "not true but ok," highlighting infuriating apologies with 20.2K likes.

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now, sometimes people don’t put their kneejerk emotions aside and look for proof before accusing someone of something, so sometimes they’re accusing you of stuff that really isn’t true, or that they (or a meddling “friend”) misread or misconstrued.

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    #40

    Comment screenshot with text: "It's just a jokeeeee," related to men apologizing.

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    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm not laughing, so no, it's not."

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    #41

    Comment showing frustrating men's apologies: "This is literally who I am.. I can’t change that."

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    Kathy Brooke
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could, if you wanted to. But you don't.

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    #42

    Comment saying, "This is why I didn't tell you," highlighting ways men "apologize."

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends on what you didn’t tell them. Some things are better left unsaid and unknown. The longer you live, the more you realize that.

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    #43

    Comment by user Spaghettioops on infuriating ways men "apologize," expressing sarcasm about joking.

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    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't test the waters with me; you could be in over your head.

    #44

    A comment on ways men apologize, saying, "I only lied because I knew you'd be mad," with likes and reply icons.

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    #45

    "Wes comments on ways men apologize, noting miscommunication between arguing and expressing feelings."

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    #46

    Comment highlights frustrating male apologies, expressing silent treatment.

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    #47

    Comment showing a typical insincere apology, "Calm down," with high interactions.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one who has been told to calm down has ever calmed down.

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    #49

    Comment from a user named Liam182 demonstrates infuriating apology by saying, "I just think you overreacted but maybe that’s my fault."

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    #50

    Man's apology comment with victimizing behavior, 328 likes.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Ah, that's what I've been telling you."

    #51

    Comment by user questioning typical apologies, receiving thousands of likes.

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    #52

    Comment on men’s “apologize” methods: “I’m just can’t do anything right. Ever.”

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    #53

    Comment on ineffective apologies, showing a person describing a scenario of shifting blame during an apology.

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    #54

    Comment screenshot about ways men apologize, saying, "Sorry I'll leave you alone now," with 241.8K likes.

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    #57

    Comment highlighting frustrating ways men apologize, with quote: "everyone just leaves me anyways," liked by 22.1K users.

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    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you push them out the door.

    #58

    Comment highlighting a man's silent treatment apology, implying nothing happened, with over 2,297 likes.

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    #59

    Text screenshot showing a woman's comment on frustrating apologies from men.

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    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "In 2003, Billy was eight, I was nine, and he'd just gotten a new hamster!!!"

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    #61

    Comment by Ileanna Puertas: "Well do you understand my perspective?" highlighting common apology issues with men.

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    #62

    Comment on excuses people use when apologizing, mentioning personal life impacts.

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    #63

    Comment from Elyora saying, "Bruh im sorry but its not that deep," highlighting infuriating apologies from men.

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    Leah Brown
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what she said! 🤭🤣

    #64

    Kate's comment on men's apology: "you know i'm not good at communication, you KNOW that" with reactions and likes.

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    #65

    A comment by user "ava" reading "ok" with 32.7K likes, discussing men's ways of apologizing.

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    #66

    Bailey’s comment about a grandfather’s fish dying, with 4,782 likes.

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    #67

    Social media comment saying, “I'm sorry, I guess I can't do anything right,” highlighting frustrating apologies.

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    #68

    Comment highlighting frustrating ways men "apologize," mentioning 3 days of ignoring followed by a casual greeting.

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    #69

    Spicy Sofia on YouTube shares a comment about inadequate apologies from men, noting a tiny reply to her lengthy message.

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