Some months ago, I started drawing my thoughts as an person struggling with generalized anxiety, panic attacks and depression.
I started these drawings because I'm really bad at explaining what's inside my head, and explaining by drawing has always been a lot easier for me.
More info: sow-ay.tumblr.com
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Finally, a drawing which completely illustrates how I feel about music.
I wish my work would understand how much better it would be for me to listening to my music while I work.
This makes me feel so much... I cannot put it in words, but that is SO DEEP!!!
"I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink, But now I'm insecure and I care what people think."
I think this is the biggest misconception. I've even been told at work I care too much about people to do my job. Isn't it a good thing to care?
Oh good grief! I hate it when people say "it's all in your head". First of all you don't know s**t about what I'm feeling or what truly goes on with me so you have no right to say that. Second, no s**t it's in my head! That's where the brain is! So that's where mental illness resides.
brain cancer is all in ones head too, but that doesn't mean it isn't real.
Load More Replies...It 'is' all in your head. That's why it's called a 'mental disorder.' But it's not something you can just 'get over.' It's a problem with brain, otherwise known as THE most important organ in the body. People who view that as no big issue are just seriously ignorant
Yeah I used to carry a sketch pad around to do the same. It made me embarrassed because I felt like I was being too self absorbed. But that's kind of the nature of depression anyway, and at least you're clarifying it for yourself. I love your drawings, I think number 21 hit me the hardest. Hang in there anyway buddy ;)
I even hate it more when you suggest to do something and then realize you just can't because of anxiety or depression. You are all really sad you are blocked and THEN somebody sais "Oh hey why you just not go and do it? Its not that hard..." always feel like a dumb a*s then.
I actually believed :) When my narcissistic ex boyfriend used to say it and I had extremely low blood pressure, I used to stand after such words and walked. It was like walking on the edge. I didn't want to be spoilt. But now I think this is absolute not understanding to the point of emotional abuse. I wish to see HIM now walking with , for example, blood pressure of 60/40.
Yes! I also have GAD, panic disorder, and depression with a touch of agoraphobia and OCD. This is how I feel when people say things like, don't think about it or try not to worry so much.
I hate when people say this! I have an illness, I can't just make it go away! Try just making your diabetes go away! Oh you can't? Same here
Thank you, Sow! I have been trying to tell someone how I feel, but it didn't really come out the way I was envisioning it. Your comics are amazing and paint the truest picture of what it feels like. Cheers!
I fall apart outside too, but it's only in my head, so nobody ever sees it. :-\
yeah, outside we are falling apart but with a mask on so that no one can see
Load More Replies...Holding it in until you get home - and cannot wait until you walk through your front door -just to fall apart - then having to repeat it day after day...
opposite for me too, but people seem intent on trying to tell me otherwise
Not going outside anymore, problem solved. No, it's worst,,,,, aaaww!
It's not "Stay Strong", it's "Appear Strong". Granted it takes strength to do that, but I don't feel like I'm being strong when I'm among people; but I'm putting a giant effort into trying to look as if I am.
that's not what he's saying at all. you could be extremely popular and be the loneliest person in the world
Load More Replies...The worst feeling of the world to living with anxiety and depression at the same time. 😢
Oh, Gosh! This spinning wheel with no way out. When you try to put depression away, anxiety came in, when you try really hard to put them both away... Well, welcome OCD! This awesome drawing tell it so well! Thank you so much for all your comic story! Sorry for my bad english, I`m from Sweden and miss every f****n english lesson. :/
Yup, the two are best friends; they often come together. I'm no expert but I suspect they originate in the same part of the brain.
I think it's the opposite for me. Gotta be the reason I don't have friends.
My life: I spend my days looking at the pages of the SCP Foundation so I can decide which one of those things I deserve to be locked up with
EXACTLY. Everyone thinks things are going so well. At least the outside makes it easy to pretend to relatives that I'm ok.
Bed gets me. Bed accepts me unconditionally. Bed is safe... So bed gets to see me naked.
Load More Replies...Those "coach" a******s are pure fake. Anyone here can tell about struggling in life.
I still have this stuck in my brain after years of hearing it from my parents...
Same here. Sucks when you are (consider yourself) an artist and try to sell your stuff.
Load More Replies...Guilt is the hardest to get out of your head. Then you spiral further into depression b/c you're thinking you've messed things up even more.
that's true but they really are annoyed. Why would anyone i meet want to hear me talk about how messed up I am for ages
I honestly don't find it annoying at all. I want my friends to be able to talk to me about anything, n dif it makes them feel better them I'm all for it.(i complain a lot to, and they deal with it too)
This is so important tho... I find this one of the most difficult things to get over.
Same also same whit my art ppl lie A LOT that my art is good I’m like dirt in art and there diamonds
Keeping it inside you or talking to someone else are the same .. It can only makes difference to person how he/she absorb or react to the prob. Talking about solution on how to handle ot cope with anxiety and depression... . We want to hear positive response, reality wise receiving positive answers with out action will not change a thing . Vice versa.
Been there, but got out of it with help of a great psychologist. So I hope you will too. Cause depression and anxiety aren't sentences for life. You have to fight it, cause you can get back to health.
I relate so much to this. The moment it's been too long since I've heard from someone I love if they don't respond to my texts I assume something terrible has happened. There really is no end to my anxiety day to day
I never knew others felt that way. I've always felt it myself and wondered why, by this made sense. It's because I know everyone dies ONE da
you know this is what i always afraid of but this what happen to everyone so appreciate them while they are still living because nothing is forever except memories of them always live in our heart
I have rly bad nightmares and they're about people I love dying and sometimes it gets so bad that it makes it hard for me to be around people bc I can't look at them the same if I've had one of those nightmares. I push people away because of it sometimes so they can't see what's in my head.
Lie in bed. Feel guilty about lying in bed. Cope by lying in bed more. Repeat cycle.
Also works with watching Netflix or browsing the Internet
Load More Replies...every day. I find reasons to not move. I think of all the things that I could be doing or done and then just roll over
Yeah, like getting on the couch and playing hours of videogames.
This is me. I'm not suicidal but I wish I could just... Disappear and watch. I'm better at watching anyway.
I've had the same thoughts... a lot more recently.
Load More Replies...SO true! When I am there, it feels like my soul has already gone on and my body is itching to follow.
Never express thoughts of death to the normal folk. No good will come from it. Just arguing and trying to show and explain that one isn't sick, or crazy, just because life isn't necessarily preferable to all people in all situations, will tire you out and will never convince the shiny people.
At least the answer from the other end was "I'm coming". It could've just been silence.
I wish there was a txt line where you could pour your heart out to someone but no matter how suicidal you are they wouldn't tell anyone
I completely understand questioning if you are suicidal or not. I will say, wanting an out is absolutely more prevalent than you may think. As someone who suffers with depression and not wanting to go on most days, however non suicidal, you can make it through. When you begin to self harm then concern should arise and turn to someone for help. Otherwise, even though it's tough some days just keep looking forward. We may not believe it...but we got this.
"I can't believe you have bipolar depression, you are so funny, outgoing, and happy" -_-
Oooh you're are one of the most glowing and positive people I ever meets... WTF bipolar?! I could never☠️
Load More Replies..."Quiet? I'm screaming, you just can't hear it. Only I can hear it, and it's driving me insane.""
"You're not depressed. You always make jokes about everything. So you see? You're not really depressed. You've just convinced yourself of it."
"oh wow really that upset you? of all things? you never cry!" yea telling me that just reminds me of the fact that you will never look at me the same agian.
The people who go out and announce mental illness just want attention. The people who try to be perfect couldn't possibly want less attention.
that's cause im hiding everything because i don't want to be a burden.
"I can't believe you have depression, you're one of the happiest people I know!"😒
I can't believe you are depressed and sad, you are soo positive about everything!
I also think sometimes that I've been given anxiety and depression by my parents through genes. They are too naive to acknowledge they suffer from these two problems!
I've always thought the same thing. The thing is, my parents are from a time in which depression was discussed publicly, so, from youth they have no idea that there's an actual thing as depression, as opposed to sadness. Therefore they didn't/don't see it in themselves and, therefore, could never recognize it in me. When you don't even know it's a thing, you live your life according to the dictum: "When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons."
Load More Replies...Hello, I strongly relate to so many of your drawings, and I am in the searching of the answer on how to be better, so, I have to ask, Have you tried something? What did you try and Did it work? , Cheers, Ce.
Hey, I'm still looking for the solution at the moment and learn a lot about my condition every day. But the best thing was talking about it. To my friends, family and the doctor. Then I started medication (we're still trying to find the right one) and more recently a therapist.
Load More Replies...Sadly I have passed anxiety and depression on to my daughter, who is now struggling. I feel guilty that I have given her this "gift"
Yes, unfortunately this is a curse that you almost assuredly will pass on, unfortunately
With the way my parents raised me, this one makes me . . . imagine not saying thank you, saying no thanks, then those things holding the box become those dark things from the other comics.
The anti-depressant that works best for me is the same one that my grandma takes and she's been on hers for over 20 years.
I've had similar thought processes when I'm really down. They mostly end with "but if I was in an accident and didn't wake up that would be ok."
I have to live, I don't have the courage of kill myself anyways
How did you get over it? I'm still trying but now I'm not sure if I want to
Load More Replies...And when someone is on a all time low , no matter how many times you tell them that they are not a burden and they are loved very much . They still don't think they are
It's not so much about thinking, it's more that you can't feel it. Logically I know my dad loves me and would be sad if I died but on my bad days I can't feel that love regardless of my knowing that my dad loves me. Emotions and facts/logic do not go together.
Load More Replies...Had a nightmare bf that actually said this to me. He repeated what my psyche was constantly chanting. Took many years to realize that's not how a relationship should be. I hope no one else ever hears these things from someone that is supposed to care about them.
what did you do or what changed in you mind to get better?
Load More Replies...Eh my friends leave me so fast even my fake/(friends I made) friends leave me I lost my friend sock bob
When you are in depression, no matter what people say to you, their words never help. Actually after listen to them, sometimes you feel worse.
"Be more positive! Be strong!" Thanks! How have I never thought of that? I'm cured!:D
Load More Replies...The desire to stab clueless f***s in the face is a very real feeling
Load More Replies...telling me that not only makes me want to kill you, but also reminds me of how i cant.
There are a few that are easier. Eating. Reading. Never going outside...
If you feel vertigo or your vision gets dark when you get up, it may be a sign of an iron deficiency. Try eating some iron-rich foods such as spinach.
It is hard. I know I don't have a right to complain when I'm not the one struggling with these things, but it hurts to see friends sinking into darkness. And not being able to do anything about it. I'm sorry.
At least you feel.... some ppl think it's all "made up"....
Load More Replies...My boyfriend left me just a month ago exactly for this reason. Now I've lost my love, my home and my dog.. yay
no. when people pretend to know how it feels ... ugh. just admit you don't
they're not necessarily pretending. They just think that the temporary depression they dealt with after a bad break up or something is what clinical depression is like. It's still irritating, for sure, but I think it's meant to come from a place of wanting to help.
Load More Replies...I have a problem with people saying "I know how you feel." because the truth is they don't. Even if they have experienced something similar the exact same thing that happened to you hasn't happened to them and they are not you. They have no idea how you truly feel.
Reality wise ... everything falls in two different results no matter how shallow or deep where the problems coming from... Happiness and Sadness Negative anx positive one of antidote is ACCEPTANCE
Load More Replies...I feel like I've been guilty of acting like this. I tell people I understand, but I'm not sure I do.
People think that to understand someone's pain means that you had to have experienced their situation in order to understand. I've experienced my pain, my hopelessness, my fear, my paralysis so I can understand that others feel their pain, their hopelessness, their fear, without the specific details being the same for you both. So yes, I know how a person feels when they have no hope or desire to live and only feel pain. That should be enough for anyone. What do you gain by pushing sympathetic and empathetic people away just to be the one and only unique person that knows your specific brand of pain, fear and hopelessness. When someone with real experience with these things says that they understand, it means they understand "pain". Get off your unique high horse... until they start telling you "this is what you should do."
Load More Replies...I understand this is a big problem because I also have anxiety but read the sign in the cafe. All of it.
Losing your girlfriend or boyfriend just makes depression worse. If its depressing for normal people think about those who already have depression and anxiety. No one left to give yourself some fake happiness
Ugh! I hate this type of "understanding". I even get annoyed when people say "oh yeah I had depression for a year, but then it just got better".
Getting dressed is still a step. And usually it helps, at least a little bit
DON'T. I went a WHOLE WEEK in jammies. Dressed and out today, but yeah. Up, dressed, HUZZAH FOR US! :D
Load More Replies...Always get dressed even if you just end up getting back into bed. It helps a lot.
Then stop right there and go doing anything else. See ppl, travel, do whatever it takes. Been there, done that and you realy do not want to hit right side. Its a long long way back.
Load More Replies...for me its the opposite. i just find the need to eat anymore. its a better pain.
This is at lest a box of tissues as I eat a whole bag of chips with dip....
I need someone like that in my life. But I don't have anyone. I'm so alone.
Same. I used to have one, but he left me when I needed him the most. He had very similar issues to mine and truly knew how it felt. He knew I had gotten abandoned before and he had promised he wouldn't do that to me. But he did. Been about 3 years now and I still miss him to bits...
Load More Replies...This is my favorite one. I'm not depressed, but I know what it feels like to need a friend to help you through a hard time.
Anyone else on the "I have no friends" and "My family could care less" club?
It would be nice to not have to deal with it alone but since i have no family and no friends then yes i am alone with it.
Literally zero friends only family who also have zero friends and being home everyday is driving me cray
Yes there is that special laugh when something is sooo real but no one ever expressed it before. And we see it and recognise it.
Load More Replies...I always hated those questions. I know they don't mean to do harm, but it just pushes me right into the dark mode again if a million people come up to me and ask me how I am - and I am not supposed to tell because no one is interested anyhow and it would take too long, so I just say fine, although I am not fine. Furthermore questions like these make me wondering about IF I AM fine or not and you can bet, THEN I am not anymore because suddenly I remember ALL the things why I should definitely not be fine. Also, they make you feel weird. Just acknowledge that I am there, be happy for god's sake don't be surprised (or at least don't show) if I show up. It just makes me want to turn around and go.
I understand you SO, SO much in here. I learnt one thing, those "Small talk people" arent very often real close people, so I just tell them the true. " I feel tired, burn out, without money and any hope" and then I let them visciously bath in the akwardness of the stupid small talk moment. But with real friends I try to " be polite and positive" because with outspoken true I would burnst to tears.. They don´t help you anyway and you make them feel bad...
Load More Replies...Do you sleep with the light on, to avoid the darkness or light off to avoid seeing the empty room?
This is why I can sleep in the busyness of the day. I am not lonely and then I am busy in the peace of the night.
I think the day is the hardest thing to deal with, but it depends on the person
everything is so long, school is months, the day is years long, talking is a eternity, and sleep is the one time everything is fast.
I live to fall asleep, it's when I stop the hate, I never want to dream, it in-fiiiiiiltrates beautyyyyy ♬♪
Load More Replies...I also have the opposite problem, I sleep too much and people just assume I am lazy. It really sucks.
I just delete people that put a smile on my depression. They are stupid AH.
I'm trying to raise awareness among friends since more education on mental illness is needed in my home country. So I usually share my stories that happened. And almost every time 1-2 "friends" will unfriend me. Probably I'm just an annoyance...
No, they are no friends are plain stupid. You are OK.
Load More Replies...i still can accept when people reacted with smiley face but i cant stand when some people bash me and told me to go out and have fun or be positive.some even told me to keep it to myself,dont go around posting in facebook. its just make my life worst
I can't even post anything about how I'm feeling because I have family as friends and there's this big taboo with mental illnesses and depression they hold.
I don't understand this one. Maybe because I've never taken medication though
Thanks, I'm glad that helped ! And yes, I do read every comment, that gives a lot of comfort to see all the love ! Wish you the best
Load More Replies...My mom tried giving me medicine because she felt like I couldn't sleep. All it did was quicken my pulse. o_o
The side effects can be a whole other world of pain and suffering...until you get it right...but it's a long road.
I got pills about a year ago and for the first two weeks the anxiety got a lot worse before it started to help me fall asleep. That could be the point ;)
Hello ! Thank you for all your drawings. They're worth millions of words. I'm getting through this kind of void for several weeks. Feeling like very few things are worth living, having my brain pacing for hours at night preventing me from getting asleep like I used to. In my case, I know it comes from a lack of sun (I hate winter) and key decisions that I have to make....but can't... Making me feel like I'm stuck at a crossroads without any clue of the road I must take....and without a route to follow, I'm lost. I have been told that "high potential people" (formerly call "gifted" or "high IQ" people) are too sensitive and indeed care too much about everything. Making them doing their absolute best in everything. But doing your absolute best is heavely psychologically tiring. So the only way it might get better is to learn to let go of some things. Easy to say, I know. I suffer from that too. Maybe if we heavely anxious people chatted together, we could help eachother ...
I have just read all of your drawings. I felt concerned because I'm getting through similar times for several weeks. I don't even recognize myself (used to be happy, joking and positive). I would like to thank you because I feel less lonely now. After hours of self-analysis and thoughts, I came to the conclusion that 1) winter (and its huge deficiency in D vitamin) is definitely an enemy to my well-being. 2) that the only way to go forward is to make certain key decisions. But I just can't. Either way, I'm stuck. I wish you all the strenghts.
tell me about it i also always pick up extreme anxiety right before i feel like a burden
These are all true... and there is no miracle cure for depression... except yourself. Challenge yourself, force yourself, go see funny movies even if they don't make you laugh. There is a way out but you need to get on your feet and start walking...
Hey, I rarely (have never, really) comment anything on the internet but I have decided to sign up on this page just to tell you to keep up the good work. :) I think you offered me a precious insight into your daily struggles you are dealing with. I cannot relate to you in this sense, but as I can see from the previous comments, many people can. In my modest opinion are people that can feel these emotions actually very sensitive and delicate, (like dandelions :) ) and somehow in tune with...something. It seems you maybe have deeper understanding of things. Ah, I don't know how to explain and I am not good with words. Just wanted to say that I am glad that you are an artist. Best wishes, Martina :)
Thank you Martina, I can't believe you decided to sign up for this. I feel honored.
Load More Replies...Thank you so much for putting into pictures what my words so often fail to say.
<-Depression and anxiety for 10+ years. These comics are 100% on the nose accurate.
First time I've seen an illustrated post about depression and anxiety that I really connect with. It's hard to some up all those feelings in words but you've managed to capture everything. Thank you for taking the time to make and share your work, I imagine it wasnt easy to do. I wish you all the best on your journey and to any one else looking at this post. It's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone. Thank you. Namaste
Woaw, the first you see that you really connect with, I'm really honored. Thanks a lot for this comment, that really means a lot. I wish you the best !
Load More Replies...The fact that everyone feels depression and anxiety different than somebody else is highly important. Even thou I can relate to a few of those pictures, I couldn't relate to others. Every one is different and some days you feel better then other days. I send my love to you all and hope that you will overcome your difficulties and challenges.
Thanks, I hope you'll keep hope and get better too
Load More Replies...Thank you so much. Seeing this... It's like you can see into my brain and my heart. I've been dealing with depression since I was 16. I'm 25 now and luckely doing much better. Looking around my room, i can tell I'm not there yet but I'm not as lost as I was back then. I had friends, family and a teacher that really helped me. But most of all that I got so fed up with being sad and waking up (if I had fallen asleep) in the middle of the night freaking out and hyper ventilating cause I didn't want to die.... I realised after years of insomnia and nightmares that I had to help myself by getting help from "an outsider". I found a psychologist that understood that it was real. And I wasn't just a teen looking for attention but I wanted real help. Took some time but I'm getting there. I have good day and bad days. Last week I had an amazing day. I was like I never had been depressed at all! I felt amazing!! So for those who are still struggeling; You're not alone with this.
Hey, I rarely (have never, really) comment anything on the internet but I have decided to sign up on this page just to tell you to keep up the good work. :) I think you offered me a precious insight into your daily struggles you are dealing with. I cannot relate to you in this sense, but as I can see from the previous comments, many people can. In my modest opinion are people that can feel these emotions actually very sensitive and delicate, (like dandelions :) ) and somehow in tune with...something. It seems you maybe have deeper understanding of things. Ah, I don't know how to explain and I am not good with words. Just wanted to say that I am glad that you are an artist. Best wishes, Martina :)
Thank you Martina, I can't believe you decided to sign up for this. I feel honored.
Load More Replies...Thank you so much for putting into pictures what my words so often fail to say.
<-Depression and anxiety for 10+ years. These comics are 100% on the nose accurate.
First time I've seen an illustrated post about depression and anxiety that I really connect with. It's hard to some up all those feelings in words but you've managed to capture everything. Thank you for taking the time to make and share your work, I imagine it wasnt easy to do. I wish you all the best on your journey and to any one else looking at this post. It's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone. Thank you. Namaste
Woaw, the first you see that you really connect with, I'm really honored. Thanks a lot for this comment, that really means a lot. I wish you the best !
Load More Replies...The fact that everyone feels depression and anxiety different than somebody else is highly important. Even thou I can relate to a few of those pictures, I couldn't relate to others. Every one is different and some days you feel better then other days. I send my love to you all and hope that you will overcome your difficulties and challenges.
Thanks, I hope you'll keep hope and get better too
Load More Replies...Thank you so much. Seeing this... It's like you can see into my brain and my heart. I've been dealing with depression since I was 16. I'm 25 now and luckely doing much better. Looking around my room, i can tell I'm not there yet but I'm not as lost as I was back then. I had friends, family and a teacher that really helped me. But most of all that I got so fed up with being sad and waking up (if I had fallen asleep) in the middle of the night freaking out and hyper ventilating cause I didn't want to die.... I realised after years of insomnia and nightmares that I had to help myself by getting help from "an outsider". I found a psychologist that understood that it was real. And I wasn't just a teen looking for attention but I wanted real help. Took some time but I'm getting there. I have good day and bad days. Last week I had an amazing day. I was like I never had been depressed at all! I felt amazing!! So for those who are still struggeling; You're not alone with this.
