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This Instagram Page Is A Treasure Trove Of Parenting Memes, Here Are The 50 Best Ones
Interview
Many parents, quite rightfully, believe that only other parents can actually understand what it means to have kids. So it should surprise no one that some moms and dads actively create memes about their experiences as well.
The “Check your kids at the door” Instagram page shares hilarious memes about parenting that most people with kids might find relatable. So get comfortable as you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorites. We got in touch with Rob, who created and manages the page to learn more.
More info: Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Ixanga Cancun 2 years ago
Sort of a Jiminy Crickett character. Or Piglet.
Load More Replies... Raumpfleger 2 years ago
My son and I used to play Donkey Kong Country a lot for this reason. The little buddy could ride Donkey Kongs back and shoot the mobs off of his back. Perfect!
#1 Candevil Fan 2 years ago
My version is draw the Battle Strat on a lined paper, making a battle grid and making it so that they're not trash at open world battles like Divinity and Valkyria Chronicles. Trash strategies hurt me
Shane S 2 years ago
Some would argue that’s a participation trophy. Part of playing a game is learning that it’s ok to lose. Just a thought. Games also help with dexterity and problem solving. That becomes a bit meaningless if all you’re doing is running in one direction.
Sonja 2 years ago
We're talking about 4 year olds here. They can't learn what you want them to learn at that point. They just want to share what you're doing, they don't understand competition. Children are not fully developed adults in tiny bodies. A 4 year old has the mental capacity of a golden retriever. Would you try teaching you dog that it's 'okay to lose'? No, you would just play with him to have fun. Such young children don't need competition. They need to be allowed to play for fun. It's called 'training' and 'learning skills' and you usually do that before you compete. You don't compete to learn the basics, you learn the basics by participating without competition. Playing a game is to have fun first and for all. After you learned how to do it is the time to participate. That's what training mode in games is for. And putting the training mode in an additional character would allow two players to play together and both having fun at their own skill level. Win win for both
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RELATED:
#2
wayne whitson 2 years ago
2 out of 3 people "suffer'" from Diarrhoea. (The third apparently enjoys it ) (I'll see myself out, thank you )
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
Diarrhoea is no laughing matter, you could damage yourself and have to see an Orthpaedist
BrownTabby 2 years ago
Also children read it and think it’s pronounced “diar-hoe-a”. It’s me, I was the child.
#3
PunchinelloTX 2 years ago
People are genuinely perplexed when I, a fifty year old childless man with two cats, refer to their offspring as “human children.” I don’t mean any harm, it’s innocent and just slips out. “Oh, look at your human child.” But, they always look at me funny.
Mary Peace 2 years ago
I'm also childless. Sometimes I'm talking to a parent and their child (under 3yo) does something cute, and I think, 'Oh, my cat does that!' It takes a lot of effort not to voice that thought.
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Susan Teter 2 years ago
If you came in first at not passing the pregnancy test
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Bored Panda got in touch with Rob, the creator and current administrator of the “Check your kids at the door” and he was kind enough to answer some of our questions. Firstly, we wanted to know what inspired him to create a meme page on Instagram just for parenting content.
“I started my page almost 5 years ago. I was making memes and sharing them with family and friends and decided to start posting them. I try and keep my page mostly original memes. I'm always looking for new templates and clips to create with. A lot of the time it's while watching a movie with my kids,” he shared.
#4
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
You are required to have a license to drive a car, having kids?................zip, zero, none, nada required.
Travelling Stranger 2 years ago
unless you want to adopt one, then you'll need to be more papal than the pope
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Steve Hall 2 years ago
If a kid said that in the 1950s, he would have been slapped all the way into the 25th century.
Leah Clair 2 years ago
OMG I needed that laugh. Once, a friend of mine was in the store with her 3 year old, sitting and fidgeting in the cart. She says "why are you fidgeting?" the kid scream talks: "Cause my BAGINA itches" yes, with a B. Friend wanted floor to swallow her.
#5
SonicAlchemy 2 years ago
That's kickass. My son probably has about two or three more years of belief left. Might have to steal this for a send-off.
Susan Teter 2 years ago
In our house it's elf stapled to the ceiling. He can see everything that goes on, but can't do a damn thing about it!!!
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Love it! No one in our house likes the elf assigned to our house. We all freak out when we find out he has moved and he is close to where we currently are standing. He's a creepy little dude.
Dogcat vet (retired) 2 years ago
Isn't that one of those candy cane puzzles?
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#6
Kit Black 2 years ago
'Because youth ministry'...??? So, because it's cheaper to buy them and then return them because the church????
Given the page’s popularity and age, we were curious to hear what Rob thought was its main draw and what makes a good parenting meme. “I think a good parenting meme needs to be relatable. The ups and downs of parenting are something everyone experiences and it's easy to connect with,” he shared with Bored Panda.
#7
Mark 2 years ago
I got Homo Deus ( sequel to Sapiens) for Christmas and the introductory chapters were talking about how humanity has solved its 3 main challenges, war, famine and disease, and how any outbreak of those would be because of human incompetence. I was thinking about Covid in the disease chapter, as the book was written 2016
Dim T 2 years ago
Humanity has solved none of these, as all the war famine and disease in the world proves
Load More Replies... Doug the Special one 2 years ago
Modern problem, create a password of at least 10 characters using numbers, letters, capital letters and special characters. Then remember it without writing it down because you don't trust not losing it in the cloud.
#8
Stefaan De Clerck 2 years ago (edited)
I wonder how many off those PureFlix subscribers also watches the Pornhub.
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#9
Travelling Stranger 2 years ago
IMO HenpeckedHal has the best tweets in the parenting/family category, if you aren't on ElonX, you can follow the account on the zuckphotoapp
Aerial Wombat 2 years ago
When I was at the crawling stage my mom took a "Super-8" movie of me casually eating ants, one at a time off of a log.....She later claimed that they "wouldn't hurt me" ?
Catlady6000 2 years ago
They won't. Some taste pretty good. Do stay away from the stingy ones. Unless you like extra spicy
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
My ex always got so grossed out, to the point of dry-heaving at times, by my disgusting habit of putting almost anything in my mouth. I mean, how else will you know if it's edible. (I may be old, I may be well-read, but I'm still a disgusting toddler at heart.)
Stephen Wild 2 years ago
Well, you can't expect too much from a sixteen year old... maybe your expectations are too high... :)
“The majority of parenting memes are made by moms. There aren't as many dads who do it so it does give a different perspective on raising kids,” he added, so if you are a dad and have a meme you would like to share, go to the “Check your kids at the door” Instagram page and send it to Rob.
#10
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Any garden hose. The school's, random neighbor, even the funny smelling sprinklers built into the ground (learned lesson on this one)...
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SonicAlchemy 2 years ago
I encourage my son's water consumption for him to be healthy and understand that he doesn't get to drink chocolate milk every time he's thirsty but I don't think I treat him like a beached orca 😆
Mark 2 years ago
Living in Thailand for a while, if you’re outside and not in direct contact with a source of water, it could end badly. I’ve gotten heat exhaustion so bad I couldn’t stand several times in my 8 years. Also it seems like migraines are also enhanced in that hot and humid weather
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
This is true. I was just having this conversation with my sister. We didn’t have water bottles back in the 70’s and 80’s growing up and we didn’t die of thirst. Once in a while we drank from the water fountains.
Auntriarch 2 years ago
I don't know. I grew up in the tropics, we drank water when thirsty (squash and pop were parties and weekends) from the fridge (those rectangular gin bottles were the right shape for the fridge door). The only time I remember my mother getting worried about me drinking enough was when I caught a stomach bug.
#11
Dawn Soehren 2 years ago
Home Depot, Stables, Office Depot.....all are my toy stores. Love hardware and Stationary/Office Supplies.
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Erika Martin 2 years ago
My old boss at Starbucks used to say she was going to Lesbian Church (Home Depot on Sunday)
Mary Peace 2 years ago
Copying someone's words is a great compliment... and if it works, don't change it!
#12
Mr. Nurse Man 2 years ago
My wife does this when we do breakfast for dinner. Wears an apron just in case someone stops by unexpectedly but it’s wonderful to see after a hard day at work.
Susan Teter 2 years ago
Yeah. It's all fun and games till you bend over to check on the cookies and shut your nipples in the oven door...but the hubby loved it when I ran in the living room yelling at him to blow on my nips.
Lazlo_NyQuil 2 years ago (edited)
Sort of related - my wife shut a filing cabinet drawer on her nipple while at work once. The drawer automatically locks - the worst part? She left the key in the drawer. Firefighters had to crack open the drawer with a crowbar to free her. 🤣 (EDIT: She was not working toplless!)
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Michael Largey 2 years ago (edited)
If she's drunk and topless in the kitchen, she may burn herself in places that will then be too sensitive to touch. Think about that, and go in to help her.
In general, meme culture has “exploded” since the 2000s, as more people spend time online and have access to the internet through their phones, tablets, and other devices. While the word “meme” in its modern context was coined by Richerd Dawkins in 1976, it was only in 2013 that researcher Limor Shifman created a new synthesis of Dawkins' ideas and the reality of internet content.
#13
Zaphod 2 years ago (edited)
Way to cover up the punchline with the report button, BP. UPDATE: They fixed it
Mary Peace 2 years ago
I like this. I bet you cuddle Lance a lot, stroke Lance a lot, etc.
Load More Replies... Terry Tobias 2 years ago
I went to school with a guy named Lance. It wasn't exactly medieval times... just the 60's and 70's. I guess younger generations might think it was longer ago then that.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
"How often did you cheat on the Tour de France races, Lance?" "A lot."
Mimi Downhouse 2 years ago
Nevermind, I just scrolled further and there are some memes even less related to the headline. Oh well
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
I attended highschool with a Lance. Was an overly religious pompous AH.
#14
JayWantsACat 2 years ago (edited)
We also call something in perfect condition "mint condition" for a reason. lmao (yes, I know it actually means it come straight from a mint... relax.)
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
You want a cat? I hope you get one, and if not one, get two!
Load More Replies... SonicAlchemy 2 years ago
Had to double check I was still reading the same article about parenting memes because I'm not sure what mint appreciation has to do with parenting but ok. Yeah, mint is..cool..
Mary Peace 2 years ago
Steady on, Crazy Person, that depends on how you count up the various 'purposes'. I bet you're doing far more good stuff than you think.
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Šimon Špaček 2 years ago
Mint is for herbs the same as potatoes are for vegetables (bake them, fry them, boil them, use them for making vodka,...)
Angela Sciarretta Benam 2 years ago
5 y.o. son, "whatcha doing?" 7 y.o. son, "looking for Mom's mint oil" 5 y.o. son, "for what?" 7 y.o. son, "I'm gonna put it on these Pokemon cards since they'll sell better on eBay for being mint condition..."
Shaunn Munn 2 years ago
Also insanely difficult to control in the garden. I plant in one place and they migrate in all directions, leaving their natal area bare.
Sven Grammersdorf 2 years ago
I've never had mint with meat but I always thought it sounded like a strange idea
Mary Peace 2 years ago
Growing up in England, we often had roast lamb for Sunday lunch, and with it, always 'mint sauce'. Sometimes it was bought in a jar, sometimes made from mint growing in the garden. It would seem strange to anyone not used to it.
Load More Replies... Jack Burton 2 years ago
Oh i agree so much because a few years ago i had a tough drinking night with Get 27, i was so sick and vomited so much Get 27 that i kind of became affraid of any mint taste for a few months. And dudes that was hard times, mint is everywhere.
#15
M O'Connell 2 years ago
That's only because we have an entirely different category of things we call biscuits.
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Mam cymraeg 2 years ago
Ok as a British ( Welsh ) person Oreo's are not a chocolate sandwich biscuits as chocolate sandwich biscuits have to have chocolate in between - like bourbons Where as Oreo's are choccial flavoured cream filling nonsense nce
rullyman 2 years ago
They are sandwich biscuits- a sandwich biscuit is any with two biscuit layers separated by icing/creme. I wouldn't personally call them chocolate though as they don't taste chocolatey to me. A bourbon is a chocolate sandwich biscuit.
Lea Kenny 2 years ago
The dark blackish colour is achieved with dark cocoa powder. So it is, by definition, a chocolate cookie.
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Much more polite than what I call them. I know, I know, people love those disgusting things, but I just can't accept them. Yeah, I said that, despite what I publicly admitted to in #10.
Puppy Dancing! 2 years ago
USA/Canada were founded by Irish Scotts and French. Food names based on Scottish= cookies. Biscuits are buns, based on scones and oatcakes., using a French word meaning twice cooked because oat cakes are made from porridge, and French was a founding language in both countries. So we knew what biscuit meant. Where the English did not obviously.
Since memes simply rely on shared experiences, it’s not surprising that every group on the planet has at least one meme page dedicated to it. Test it out yourself, you might have to dig around a bit, but from Instagram to Reddit, nearly every topic on the planet has a few creative fans out there making memes.
#16
Brandy McNamee 2 years ago
This is the first time in many, many years that I can say I managed to make it through the entire holiday season without hearing that song even once. It was glorious.
BrownTabby 2 years ago
As someone whose industry is busy af for unrelated reasons at this time of year, let the guy (or girl) enjoy being told that they don’t have to go gift shopping.
#17
Giraffy Window 2 years ago
If OP had just written "my kid" "my wife" that would have been a much smoother ride. My kid as a toddler told me they liked me, so they'd let me live. Thanks kiddo!
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
This is one of those child beliefs that probably comes from a misread aside or comment or two that they mentally connected in that magical place in their brain.
LisbethAnn Fitzgerald 2 years ago
Haha that's way worse then when I told my kids I had eyes in the back of my head when in actuality I could see whatever they were up to in their playroom from their reflection in all the kitchen utensils. They even had their friends believing it.
Skimommy 2 years ago
My oldest wore every single one of her baby teeth to a nub before they fell out. Nobody is using those babies again. After $3,000 for braces, she has the straightest, most beautiful smile I've ever seen. She also has horrible nightmares about her teeth being crooked again. Maybe the orthodontist isn't using the right tactic to get other people to wear their retainers. Try, "If you don't wear your restrainers, your teeth will be stained green and they'll all just go back to crooked overnight one night and you'll have to pay $3,000 plus inflation and have braces again. The green stains are irreversible. You might have dreams about it, it's ok. Just WEAR YOUR RETAINERS."
#18
Lauren S 2 years ago
I like the meme that says there should be an energy drink called 6am toddler.
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Boris’ Mom 2 years ago
No, that is the cat at 3 AM wanting you to wake up and “….play with him” ; and willing to gnaw on your head to clear those nasty dreams and cobwebs out of there, so you’ll Realize what a great idea it is……
With various tools, tutorials, and types of software out there, it’s really never been easier to make memes, which is perhaps exactly how the “meme economy” can sustain itself. In the past, professionals would be required to make anything from a song to a video, now casual hobbyists can try their hand at online fame from the comfort of their own bedrooms.
#19
Lynn Morello 2 years ago
This pic came up at work when Elf from the shelf disappeared; Boss ;lady was not amused..
#20
BPisaddictive 🇮🇹 🤌 2 years ago
So if you kiss someone under the missile toad you become a prince/ss?
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago (edited)
Wait till they find out that mistletoe is Old English for "poop-on-a-stick" or just "poop-stick". Now go kiss under it.
#21
Crazy Person 2 years ago
My dad will always get like one gift and my step mom will get all the others. But the gift my dad will get will be like a million dollars so that new doll or makeup bag mom bought you? Useless. Those new Jordan's though? Best gift ever
seana lammers 2 years ago
Shame. Maybe dad can take care of all the holidays then.
Load More Replies... GoGoPDX 2 years ago
Both my dad and husband are great gift givers! My dad once got me and my sister both shoes for Christmas, and nailed it! Gor both of our styles, sizes, and colors correct. Black suede ankle boots with buckles and a 3 inch stiletto heal for me, and nude leather pumps with metallic peacock feathers embroidered on the top for my sister. They are very high quality too and we both still have them and wear them to this day, 6 years later.
The only thing to make sure of is that you aren’t accidentally stealing some intellectual property. In the US, most memes are ultimately protected under fair use, but it can get complicated when the origin of an image is in dispute. There have been cases where copyrighted images have ended up in corporate memes.
#22
Charlotte McWhirter 2 years ago
If I didn't hate dishwashers and actually enjoy washing up as a concept this won't bothered me. But there again I married the guy that got me an iron as an anniversary present
Kiera Mortensen 2 years ago
my husband got me a circular saw for my birthday once and I was so happy! I literally jumped up and down in delight
April Pickett 2 years ago
That's a BIG mistake he's making. Never, ever give your wife kitchen stuff for her birthday, it will cost you big time for many, many years if she doesn't divorce your a**.
#23
Lynn Gracie-Rogers 2 years ago
Oh no! There is one spot on the Massachusetts Turnpike, just after Springfield, where it is an hour between the two exits. 2 hours more driving if you miss the exit. I distinctly remember seeing a street name on the overpass and asking myself why I was seeing it when I had to get off that exit. Only made that mistake twice. Yup. I didn’t learn my lesson the first time.
MarvinsMom 2 years ago
LOL - I live in Westfield and missing my exit is my biggest fear.
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Papa 2 years ago
I have a friend whose sister once missed her exit off the 610 loop in Houston, and instead of exiting at the next one and making a U-turn she stayed on 610 until she got to it the second time. Bless her heart.
Mariah Johansen 2 years ago
Especially where I live these days! Google will send you on a wild goose chase two times longer than it actually takes to get there
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
GPS is the devil's plaything, GPS maps once tried to send me 200 miles out of my way to go 30 miles by direct route.
#24
Snowy Ashton 2 years ago
I'm not the one with a stove that could blow you up or poison you in your sleep.
Šimon Špaček 2 years ago
That is like saying "I'm not the one with motorized coffin than can kill me and innocent bystanders" to somebody who drives a car. If you do not maintain gas stove, it may be dangerous. But if you put some vaseline on hoses once a year or replace them every 5 to 10 years, you are completely safe. There are even automatic shutters so if you start the gas and not ignite it, it will turn off. Gas stoves are safe.
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parajared 2 years ago
But the temp setting on my old gas stovetop was "one to five", my new induction stove cooks at to precisely the temperature I want (210 for eggs, 180 for rice ect...) and the pan heats up to the right temperature in seconds. The "sear" function on my electric stove actually sears but max gas, setting "5", on the gas stove is pathetic. The induction stovetop cleans with a simple wipe but my old gas stove was nigh-on impossible to clean proper.
Wombatish 2 years ago
Induction is a step up from most electric stoves. They're just old dumb heat coils, visible or under a cook top. I do agree induction is the tits, tho.
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"Disembodied voice" 2 years ago
I have a gas stove... really don't care what you have, just don't leave stuff on the burners
Slinkaste 2 years ago
Why the gas stove is so fancy? Everything around it gets so sticky, you always need to be aware that flame is still burning etc, etc. I have both. Electric one is more easy, but we keep both in case we don’t have electricity and need to cook something.
Momo Skarsgård 2 years ago
I hate electric stove so much!!! My mum gets the porcelain top ones and those are the worst!!
#25
#26
#27
Lydsylou (she/her) 2 years ago
For the last 3 Christmases multiple people in my house have been sick from norovirus for the entire Christmas week. Every year we have to stay home all week and see no one
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I grew up on a farm, raised more stray cats than I can count, and rehabbed wild animals. I've been peed on, spat on, pooped on, and puked on, all in a day's work. But seeing that gloppy snot coming out of a child's nose will make me retch.
Agent of Karma 2 years ago
2 of my grandsons started living with us in August. I've been sick 3 times now.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Use your cleaning wipes everywhere or teach them how to wash their hands properly.
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Stymied Egan 2 years ago
I was small when my mom and I were invited over to see our neighbors brand new baby. I was eye level with this scaly looking red thing that had a bulbous head. My mother said the baby was soooo cute. Then they asked me if I thought the baby was cute, I said, "no". My mom was so embarrassed, but this was our neighbors third baby and she just laughed and agreed with me. She told me it would get better looking eventually.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Unless it's a non-human or non-bird baby, I ain't saying a thing. As soon as the human baby or child is brought out, that's my cue to leave the area.
Robert Trebor 2 years ago
I liked the one that told you what to say when someone just randomly tries to hand you a baby. "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian."
#29
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
Real dads shouldn't need an explanation on how to cook perfect ribs, it should be intuitive.
#30
wowbagger 2 years ago
And you will also wear these clown shoes and ride this unicycle. I have altered the terms of the deal; pray I don't alter it further.
Iron Penguin 2 years ago
This deal...is very fair, and I'm happy to be a part of it.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Another parent who's allowed their children to manipulate them into servitude.
#31
Mary Peace 2 years ago
So if I decide to do some freshly-sqeezed orange juice, shall I hold up the empty orange peel and say the juice is no good because look what's left?
#32
PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago
He died??! I just finished rewatching Brooklyn 99. Hilarious show. Great cast. Writing was top notch. Actors were amazing.
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#33
not your average weirdo 2 years ago
My mom and dad playing Fortnite while I’m looking at parenting memes lol
sara fulmer 2 years ago
My kids were working on a geometric puzzle together while I watched the ATHF History of Robot Santa
#34
Mariah Johansen 2 years ago
I personally have never know kids like this. Y'all have such bland diets in the us that kids wont eat veggies? Or is it cuz they all come out of a can or frozen? I dunno but dont seem to that that much of a problem with it here 🙎🏼♀
Sparkysheep 2 years ago (edited)
US here. My grandma used to cook them till they were mushy and falling apart 🤢🤮. Then she forced me to eat them even though she saw me gagging. Years later I found I like them when they're actually solid 🙄. Also canned veggies are so gross and yes we have too too much lol
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#35
Bookworm 2 years ago
I don't know that it's neccesarily a scam, but... it's coupons. The function of a coupon is to persuade you to buy things you wouldn't have bought if you weren't 'getting a deal' on them, and in the case of Kohl's cash, to get you to come back to the store another day. Not everything that convinces you to spend money is a scam. Sometimes it's just a successful marketing tactic.
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Anna Meyers 2 years ago
R.I.P. Herb Kohl. I know his family sold the company years ago, but he was a good person.
Karma Kitty 2 years ago
I purchased an air fryer there 2 weeks before Xmas for less than $200. I added to my cart on the app, but decided to go in person because it was faster. Looked in the cart the week before Xmas and the price was over $200....
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
It's quite possible that the air fryer was on sale the week you purchased yours. Since sales usually only last for a week or so it could be why the following week the price had increased?
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#36
Richard Keel 2 years ago
My teenagers when asked to put into their drawers the clothes I washed, dried, folded, and placed on their bed.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Oh, this parent is in for a world of hurt when the toddler becomes the sullen, hormonal teenager who screams, I hate you, at least once a week.
#37
Giraffy Window 2 years ago (edited)
"I can't want to" - my nephew at 2 years old
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#38
Jessica N 2 years ago
Giving a melatonin gummy? Unfortunately. It should NOT be though. Given enough their bodies will stop producing melatonin on their own, creating dependency on sleep aids. Adults too.
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Kaddiss Ventorum 2 years ago
For those who ARE NOT AMERICAN this is becoming more common to give melatonin to kids instead of learning about circadian cycles and being actual responsible adults. Sorry for the culture shock.
Freelove 2 years ago
Yes this is normal, particularly for autistic children with disrupted sleep cycles.
Elizabeth Gansner 2 years ago
Unfortunately it's kinda normal with no need/just because it's the easiest solution. But sometimes it's seriously needed. Not everyone naturally will wake and sleep when society says to, even with a consistent schedule and tons of natural light/dark.
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somnomania 2 years ago
okay but as someone who routinely takes melatonin to be able to sleep, i must emphasize to anyone reading: take the MINIMUM that works for you. most nights i take a quarter of a 5mg quick dissolve melatonin, so about 1.something milligrams, with another quarter if it's not doing it. two quarters usually leaves me groggy the next day. the fact that so much melatonin on store shelves is just 5-10mg by default is mind-boggling, i wouldn't trust anyone who takes that much to drive a car or do their job well, or at all.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago (edited)
The same idiot parent who would give their child a melatonin gummy would condemn the parents of yesteryear who put a bit of whiskey in their child's bedtime milk. Both are dangerous.
#39
ShellsBells 2 years ago
Shoot! I typed this before scrolling down and reading your comment. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to steal it.
Load More Replies... Jack Burton 2 years ago
It's the key sentence to make her go from angry to Godzilla destroyer of living world mode.
Susan Teter 2 years ago
....and I buried him 7 foot under, cuz I wanted to make sure he didn't get out.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I have never heard any woman, in person or in an advice column, say their husband's compared them to their mother in this context. Usually the opposite comparison is made: You're just as crazy/lazy/fat/stupid as your mother.
#40
TrippyBanana 2 years ago
This has happened to my mom in pretty sure. I got sent to the nurse because I couldn't stop coughing. The school nurse thought I might have had whopping cough and didn't want to risk anyone getting sick so they called my mom and made her drive from downtown Chicago to come get me and take me home. She was not happy.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Oh, he can leave immediately. Not like the Jets are going to anything impressive one way or the other. They're so bad, even I know this, and I don't follow football.
#41
JR Doyle 2 years ago
For what "Disney" charges for tickets I would be infuriated to see a broken sign during my "Magical Vacation"... but that's me.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I'm looking around for a carpet theme, totally confused, then,... Oh. Ohhhh!
#42
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
Oh I don't know. A golden retriever would make a great representative.
panther 2 years ago
What kind of monster would say no to a golden retriever?
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Spend a morning in any small time courthouse, and you'll be relieved to see your dog-attorney. Good boi.
#43
Mr. Nurse Man 2 years ago
Still a great game. I play with my dad and uncle on holidays when I get to go visit them.
Jesha 1 year ago
That's how I knew Ready Player One was for s**t: they all worshiped a dude that said that was his favorite character.
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#44
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
That's when you leap out of bed, grab the jar of Vicks, and slather that stuff on thick. Cause he's going to school tomorrow or the Earth will be scorched.
#45
Jeanie 2 years ago
Lol, the one time I did this would be the one time my husband would try not knowing what I did. Guaranteed
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Susan Bosse 2 years ago
I wouldn't do this but I use hot glue to assemble mine. Saves so much time and headaches. Lol
Marta Szczygieł 2 years ago
Ever since I've found a good recipe for royal icing, I've had no problems assembling the gingerbread houses. Mix 1tsp of lemon sugar with one egg white in a bowl, and gradually add 250g of powdered sugar, mixing with a spatula or a little whisk. Dries pretty quickly and holds very well.
Load More Replies... Puppy Dancing! 2 years ago
Someone doesn't know how to make/use royal icing(easier than caulk).
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
There are several social media accounts with this username, but this one has merch (re: caulking gun).
Astro 2 years ago (edited)
Actually, “Tool Man,” my work does ginger bread house competitions with kids in November. We leave the houses up until January. No one eats the stale, dusty gingerbread houses that have been handled by the public for 2 months, so we absolutely use caulk and super glue and hot glue guns to hold them together. Adult supervision, no one caulks any houses to any hands. If no one gets your joke, is it actually a funny joke we can enjoy or just you self-congratulating yourself?
Load More Replies... #46
Ent Hugger 2 years ago
Now for wrath, now for ruin, and for the love of god at least stay in bed til the red dawn! Forth Eorlingas - uh I mean bedtime!!!
#47
Renata Ricotta 2 years ago
Because god forbid a man share parental responsibilities without finding a way to be a perv
Rahb in Oz 2 years ago
I have stayed there! It is three star at best, and has been renovated since; at least, I hope so! OTOH, great location across from Sam's Diner.
Renata Ricotta 2 years ago
Because god forbid a man participates the responsibilities of having a child without being a perv
#49
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Honestly, women need to be raising better men. This behavior is learned at a young age, so it's up to women to nip this cr&p in the bud.
Marilyn Rosewood 2 years ago
Or maybe...just maybe...both the parents should be doing a better job, the man too. Showing that being a man and doing the dishes can coincide without making you feminine.
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Puppy Dancing! 2 years ago
And then you laugh, and the kid gets validation and won't stop saying bad word.
#51
Amanda Beveridge 2 years ago
I cannot sleep if my husband drives. He's not the safest driver...goes over the center line, always checking his phone (even when no one calls/texts), and will fall asleep if he drives longer than 20 minutes. Sleeping equals death in my mind.
Jana Spreemann 2 years ago
Please burn his license and hide the keys. It's not only about your life,there's other people on the road too.
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Anita Given 2 years ago
My brother-in- law says he can't sleep when anyone else drives. He can only sleep when HE drives.
#52
#54
Sparkysheep 2 years ago
And dogs. My old little boy wakes me every few hours to pee lol
Load More Replies... kansasmagic 2 years ago
Where's the meme that I get a couple hours of peace and quiet because I'm up before everyone else?
Giraffy Window 2 years ago
Not even a little bit. Lots of things will be missed about those days, but the sleep interruption and deprivation will never make the list. And that's ok! It's not bad to have aspects of parenting that you wholly dislike.
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#55
#56
Tabitha 2 years ago (edited)
The bare minimum, but only for the 6 items out of what looks like at least 50, that are the easiest to fold. Perfect squares and rectangles are a breeze to fold in comparison to fitted sheets and clothing with all the odd shapes and elastic. Men, this is NOT doing your part. This is gaming the system to look like you helped when you actually still left the lion’s share of the work to your wife/girlfriend. Which makes you looks more like an a*****e than a good husband/boyfriend.
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Alex Boyd 2 years ago
The towels are the easiest things to fold! Rectangular, not too big, and usually only one or two per family member. Volunteer for the socks, and then maybe we're talking.
Giraffy Window 2 years ago (edited)
Nah. Socks are fine. Just sort them by who they belong to. If they want them specifically paired, they can do it themselves. If they want them right side out, they can learn not to peel them off and leave them scrunched up in wads like a caged ape discarding banana peels.
Load More Replies... MotherofGuineaPigs 2 years ago
Have you ever tried to put badly folded towels in the linen closet that has every comforter that you've ever owned in it?
Skadi Lifdis 2 years ago
I had an arrangement with my ex because I'm weirdly specific about how things are folded. I wash, dry, fold. He threw on a chair or crammed in drawers or left on his bed instead of putting away. In the event of future relationship - it'll be the same. Except that my future partner won't be a lazy drunk loaf and actually put things away.
Pan dulce 2 years ago
I folded towels differently before I saw how my husband folded them. His way was better so I changed the way I folded them. If her way is better or simply the way they need to be folded to fit in the cupboard, stop sulking & adapt.
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#58
Wombatish 2 years ago
Oh good, r/boomerhumor and kind of a creep. Just lovely.
Load More Replies... #59
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Malcolm Gray 2 years ago
No 3. Don't forget we invented the language it's you Yankees who screwed it up.
Malcolm Gray 2 years ago
No 3. Don't forget we invented the language it's you Yankees who screwed it up.
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