30 Darkly Hilarious Comics By A Comedic Genius, Madeline Horwath

Deep.....

Arms…or droopy boobs?

Wow!

Pours the wine then pushes both the glass and bottle on tha pavement..

If my cat was running the place, they would only serve seafood. And, for some reason, Cheese-Its.

Ethel! Don't say that, it's insensitive.

Everyone loves rule 34, but no one thinks of the consequences.

She turns you to a pile of hay

This just makes me think of that one with the baby centaurs and god it's so stupidly funny

I love this 🫠

Passive aggressive.

Nope. Nope, nope, noppity nope-nope-nope.

However, I do think it keeps it professional. Like, they're not judging your body, noises, or involuntary movements that you would be more self-conscious of if you knew the person. (I know logically they shouldn't care either, but you know YOU would) I work as a medical assistant in a plastic surgeon's office, it's comforting to know how many other women have the same insecurities I do-- it's made me less insecure of myself and I hope theirs, too. 🤗

Tell me you've never received a professional massage, without telling me...

I have never enjoyed a professional massage. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I used to do graphic design for a spa and got one in trade. I wished I’d gotten paid instead. My ex husband suggested I get one before a job interview, I told the licensed masseuse he was hurting me, he said I’d thank him the next day, nope, I was more sore than ever. After two bad experiences and one neutral one, I see no reason to try again.

Massages are amazing with the right masseuse. There is nothing like a good deep tissue massage for relieving the toll of stress on your body.

Ointment it is! 🧴

Sooooo basically you're doomed?!

Why is that skin diagram accurate

real

Rubbing alcohol is for outside ochies and the others are for inside ochies

My BF tends to his car as much as (if not more than) I tend to my garden, and the car is in a much better state than the plants

Rest in GET BACK TO WORK!

Talk to the cold, pallid yellow hand ✋

Sounds about right 😂

Mazel tov!

For a second I thought the pastor was Harry Potter

I don't think I'd want to attend the Mothman's Bar Mitzvah, unless there's cake afterwards, then it's a yes 🧁

I totally get it. Back when the me-too stuff was going on, it seemed every other day another beloved famous person was being outed as being an awful person. So I get her relief when this was just tax evasion. That's 1000000000000% better than finding out they were a sexual abuser.

Are they on the list? The island one... :/

They just can't handle you!

This is news?

I mean, totally understandable. Pretty sure if there are aliens, they are actively avoiding earth at this point.

Sometimes, it's good for kids to just play

Think a lot of Gen Xer's grew up this way....outside & ferrel!

We didn't even own a tv til I was 12 in 1964. I missed out on Ricky Nelson, Mr GreenJeans and the puppet lady with Lamb Chop. At work throughout my life people would talk about things I had no idea about. Once a female co-worker said to me "you're so weird" because I said I had a tv but preferred to read to quiet classical music instead of watch tv. Well, I guess I am then! Cuz I'm now 71 and still prefer music and a good book to tv every day of the week.

May as well go play with your balls and hoops until some genius invents an international free-for-all informational database, electronic message switchboard service, and virtual multiplayer ping pong 😝

"Na na na na, hey hey, (reeuurrrrrrrrr)... goodbye!" Notice the label on the prisoner's shirt, "Inmate J. Gacy," as in John Wayne Gacy, serial killer executed by lethal injection in 1994. Fun fact: at the time of his execution pro-capital punishment demonstrators chanted the above song from outside.

Pity it’s not like this

oh gawd

Oof. Feel this one.

Friends lol. We might as well be faceless to you🥚