60Kviews
29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group
Pilot Inspektor, Moon Unit, North West, Apple, Audio Science, Sage Moonblood – turns out, some folks can get pretty creative when it comes to their children's names!
Well, you're in luck because today, Bored Panda took this viral Reddit thread and compiled a list of the best "worst" names a kid can have. We hope you'll enjoy the article, and don't hesitate to add the quirkiest monikers you've encountered in the comment section below.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
X Æ A-12
Musk is a cruel bastard. There are other really terrible names, but that has to be the most idiotic.
Came across someone in a park once (England, nowhere weird) who was yelling 'Excalibur!'. Thought it was a dog, nope, it was a lad.
My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo.
We just hired a guy whose first, middle, and last name is the same, but spelled 3 different ways lol I don’t want to actually say his name on the off chance by some miracle he sees this or it gets back to him, but I think it’s terrible. Like if your parents named you Shaun Sean Shawn lol
Or worse, all the same spelling, like the character "Major Major Major" in the novel Catch-22
North West 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
As if the child doesn't have enough issues already with her crazy family.
Kashmonay. Woman with this first name was arrested for stealing $170,000 worth of merchandise from Ulta.
I worked in admissions as a tour guide in college. When we didn’t have tours during our shift we stuffed envelopes. I’ll always remember Sylver Blades and Mystic Powers receiving mailings.
I knew a guy who always wanted be called AJ in school. His legal name was Adolf.
Look.... The name Adolf has been around for a long time.... Probably the moniker of many a good man.... Why we letting one dude screw it up
I met a kid named Qua’Duffius when I was in middle school. He said it was pronounced Kwa-doof-ee-us. Worst one I’ve seen in person.
Pubert
Met a girl named Jennifert in college...Jennifer with a T. Why? Because her parents wanted her to be different.
I've twice tried to post this on the tragedeigh Facebook group and haven't been approved because they think I'm bulls***tting, but I have had confirmation on this from several people who lived in my city at the time of this.
My mom taught at a school in the 80s where there was 2 siblings, one named Hallelujahthemessiahiscoming, and Repentorburnforever.
I thought my mom was BSing for years until my coworker told me my mom was a teacher at her school when she was a student in the 80s.i asked my coworker about this, and she said yes, she was a little older than those kids but remembered them because they were in swimming classes at the local pool she was a lifeguard at. She told me her younger brother knew them and said at least one of them got into [illegal substances] later.
We met a kid at the playground the other day named Skillet
I swear if I see one more kid named Khaleesi 🤦♀️🤦♀️
To someone who doesn't know I can imagine hearing this and being like, that's such a pretty name. Then their gonna meet a GOT fan and just be wrecked.
Derf
Not joking. Was working security in MN and a trucker came in to sign in. As he's writing his name, I glanced at his name. 'Derf'. I felt bad for his childhood.
My uncles name is Fred but most of his life he was called Derf. (true story)
Abcde.
Unlike some urban legends like La-a, there are actually people named this. [At least 373.](https://www.insider.com/abcde-name-popularity-2018-11)
Brayden or Jayden or Brayleigh or whatever dumb version of that.
Oh I once knew a Braden, Braydon, Braedon, Jayden, Kayden and Shayden all in the same grade. That poor teacher lol
Innocent
Many names have cultural backgrounds or significance like Innocent, Brilliant,Given etc. Specifically in African countries
naming a girl konan lol
It's been a while since I've seen it, but wasn't there a woman named Konan in Naruto?
Aiden or any variation. Not because of the name itself but any teacher can tell you students with that name are 99% behavioral issues.
You've never been to Ireland ..... many, many Aiden's there who are delightful, law abiding, funny and hospitable people including at least 4 generations of a friend of mine, funnily enough, called Aiden.
I'm not a native english speaker but this name sounds nice to me. Reminds me of Aidan from Sex & the City and I love John Corbett😁
I just finished And Just Like that and the ending just crushed me. They really did that, again.
Load More Replies...
My wife (teacher to kids 12 - 16 yo) and her colleagues have a saying... 'Kevin is not a name, it's a diagnosis'
My mother’s name was Fayma. I hadn’t heard it before or since. Most people called her Faye.
Reporting because this is flat-out prejudice. "Ethnic group x because any teacher can tell you that students from that group are 99% behavioural issues."
Nothing wrong with Aiden, however, Eighdenn would freak me out, and I can see that happening.
Guess I got the 1% who doesn't even talk during free time. He's one of the top students
I love the name Aiden. If I had a boy that was our choice but I had 3 girls
An Aiden at my school got expelled for choking someone and generally being a d**k
I have an Aidan and he was never a behavior problem. Just saying. It does mean fiery spirit though.
I know one with the spelling Aaden (Not the Jon & Kate Plus Eight one). Lost contact with him over the years but he was a good bloke back in elementary school.
In 2002 when I was pregnant with my son Aidan was #300 on the baby name list. In 2003 when he was born it was #1. We'd been looking for something unique without it being made up and weird and I guess so was everyone else. Plus it means "little fire", so that's fun
Hm. I tend to believe this huge jump (from #300 to #1) was due to Sex & the City character of the same name which was introduced in season 3 if I recall correctly, and it was around 2001. Beautiful name nonetheless.
Load More Replies...
It's something I've noticed with the Kevins and Keiths around here.
My daughter has a friend named Lavanderia. I asked her mom how she came up with that name and she said it means lavender in Spanish. 🤦🏻♀️. Honey… no. It means laundromat.
All names are instrinsically silly. It's just that these new ones make this obvious because we're not used to them.
Exactly. Well said. Let's settle this once and for all 👏
Load More Replies...
I got teased as a kid in the 80s/90s for my name. It's Crystal. That's literally banal now compared to some modern names XD The point is, kids will tease and mock other kids for ANYTHING, but don't make it worse by saddling them with something like "Abcde" or "Khaleesi". Incidentally, I was named after a chandelier (not joking), so my name is spelled the basic way one would spell the noun "crystal". The number of times I'd tell someone my name was "Crystal" and then have them write/spell it with a K or an I or H or a combination of all three... whew XD
Krystle Carrington ruined it for all you normies 😅 it's still the first person I think of when I hear that name. Also Alexis🤭
Load More Replies...
I used to work in healthcare and had a patient named Evel Pickle. Last name was family name (met other Pickles) and first name was after the stuntman Evel Kenievel.
CHANGE YOUR NAME! It is NOT a big expensive hairy deal! You can even DIY (I did) by printing out the order for the judge to sign at many online sites. Then go to the courthouse anf get on the docket! I did it muself in the 80s and it cost me all of 50 in court costs. Then take your court order to Social Security for a new card, then head to your DMV. There is a space for "changes" on the back of utility and credit card bills. (DO NOT buy the "name change kits" soold online and marketed to brides at JP offices - gimmick!) I was adopted and my adopters changed my name, despite my objections, to something I loathed. I changed it on my 18th birthday. You DON'T have to live with a crapoy name.
You don’t have to live with a name you don’t like, but you have to remember to answer to it and that’s why my attempt at change didn’t work.
Load More Replies...
I was teased as a Cassie, but I don't think that's all that unusual. The oddest I encountered growing up was a very European white family with kids all named after wild animals. I was friends with Wolf, Bear, and Hawk. I thought their names were pretty cool.
Vuk (wolf) is common and nice name in Serbia. In Croatia it is rather common name Lav (lion). Also some fruit and tree names are normal (cherry, quince, fir, birch...)
Load More Replies...
my parents thought it'd be funny to give me the middle name of Alexander. basically my middle name killed* my first name . ...* i know he didn't actually but in war
I'm not sure if I met her before, but the first time I remember meeting my grandmother and some of my mother's siblings, I asked one uncle what is last name was. "You mean to tell me your name is Blaise Blais?!?" "Yes" "Who named you like that?" "Me. I named him like that" my GM said. So, I started a rant right in front of her (I was probably 6-7 y.o.), walking to-and-fro in front of them. My uncle was laughing, my GM was shocked, and my mother told me repeatedly to shut up. I was just explaining that if she thought about it, she would have known her kid would have been the victim of bullying and finished with "What else did you do???". LOL. I was right, though.
There are some countries that have veto over ridiculous names. F9lks, you are naming HUMAN BEINGS, not babies.
I met one 'Latrina' once. Not Spanish or Mexican or from a culture that may have a different meaning. A white American woman. I suppose Katrina was just too common for her parents. But jumping further than L was too much work
I used to know someone we all knew as Gift. I found out later that her actual name was God's Gift
My grandmother was named Pleasant. Her brothers were Utah, Nevada and Arizona. Their last name was Smith.
Virtue names are the worst! Faith, Hope, Patience, I knew a Love, Chastity, Charity, etc. Treasure isn't a virtue name but it is still bad.
Come to think of it, my language is pretty wild here.... Vjera (Faith), Nada (Hope), Blagica (Treasure), Slava (Glory), Ljupka (Lovely)...even my name, it means Darling :D :D
Load More Replies...
Years and years ago I spent a summer working in the office of an American summer camp. There was this kid called Karel, and I just could not find the file. Now where I live Karel is a male name exclusively, but in this case it was a creative version of Carol. That took me way too long to realise ...
Ahmiracle, I’munique, Reighleigh, Phelonee, Yuniqie, Aliviyah, Kinglsley, Randy, Chad, Blake, Leighton, Madison, Hunter, Addison, Peyton, Summer, Crystal, Kennedy, Brody, Blake, Jayden, Logan, Mason, Trent, Paisleigh, Ashleigh, Everleigh, Kynzlee, Braxton, Chet, Chase, Raddix, Taylor, Clayton, Brock, Travis, and the all time winner……Reighfyl.
There are two children in my town called Ecuador and Orchestra. Also a little girl called Temperance. Used to know a young woman called Antigone.
I know a Spider Tarantula, just remembered that one. We worked at Amazon together.
I would be on this list if I had kids...or even with my spelling of my name! (Mom told dad either One T, or TTE, and you see what I got. Anyways, if I had kids, I really love Ryleigh Rayne ( I know I'm sorry)
There's a former NFL player named Malcolm. His mom let his brother choose his name. What's his brother's name? Malcolm. lmao
A long time ago had a couple of customers that were "recovering" meth addicts, and they had three kids with wild names, more suited to pets. I think one was Fluffy, and another was Snowball...can't remember the third one...I hope those kids turned out okay, despite their upbringing.
I know a girl named Tieranni (pronounced Tyranny) and a Destanni (Destiny) as well a sisters named Savanna and Sahara. Lucky all of these girl are very wonderful people with unfortunate names. On the other side of less nice people I know a Corrello and a Creighton.
Savanna and Sahara aren't that bad. The other two are a lil cringey.
Load More Replies... Family member taught kids of pharmacist. i only remember Codeine .
Talia is a common Italian surname. I know a Jenny Talia. Another has surname Bird. Full name Jenny Isobel Bird. I refuse to tell you the unique name I gave my daughter, just comment that my daughter is now my son.
Your daughter is now your son? Your DNA does not change.
Load More Replies...
I used to with with someone who's brother was named Bubba. Not a nickname, his actual name. We're not even from Arkansas!
In grade school there were sisters, Vida, Verla and Lanay. I taught a student named La Trina, and La-a(LaDasha).
Tuesday is cute for a girl but not sure why her parents called her that....like Wednesday from the Adams family maybe???
At Starbucks the other day, I told them my name was Erin and my cup came back with "Airolym" written on it if anyone is looking for a "unique" spelling for that.
My favorite was Sierra Mist. This was after the lemon lime flavored soda came out. Thankfully for this person they changed the soda’s name to Starry.
I went to elementary school with boy/girl set of twins with the last name of Light. Their first names were Bud & Crystal. I also knew a woman whose name is Patience, & her sisters are Promise & Prudence which are great names but also a lot of pressure for young girls to live up to 😆
My daughter has a friend named Lavanderia. I asked her mom how she came up with that name and she said it means lavender in Spanish. 🤦🏻♀️. Honey… no. It means laundromat.
All names are instrinsically silly. It's just that these new ones make this obvious because we're not used to them.
Exactly. Well said. Let's settle this once and for all 👏
Load More Replies... I got teased as a kid in the 80s/90s for my name. It's Crystal. That's literally banal now compared to some modern names XD The point is, kids will tease and mock other kids for ANYTHING, but don't make it worse by saddling them with something like "Abcde" or "Khaleesi". Incidentally, I was named after a chandelier (not joking), so my name is spelled the basic way one would spell the noun "crystal". The number of times I'd tell someone my name was "Crystal" and then have them write/spell it with a K or an I or H or a combination of all three... whew XD
Krystle Carrington ruined it for all you normies 😅 it's still the first person I think of when I hear that name. Also Alexis🤭
Load More Replies... I used to work in healthcare and had a patient named Evel Pickle. Last name was family name (met other Pickles) and first name was after the stuntman Evel Kenievel.
CHANGE YOUR NAME! It is NOT a big expensive hairy deal! You can even DIY (I did) by printing out the order for the judge to sign at many online sites. Then go to the courthouse anf get on the docket! I did it muself in the 80s and it cost me all of 50 in court costs. Then take your court order to Social Security for a new card, then head to your DMV. There is a space for "changes" on the back of utility and credit card bills. (DO NOT buy the "name change kits" soold online and marketed to brides at JP offices - gimmick!) I was adopted and my adopters changed my name, despite my objections, to something I loathed. I changed it on my 18th birthday. You DON'T have to live with a crapoy name.
You don’t have to live with a name you don’t like, but you have to remember to answer to it and that’s why my attempt at change didn’t work.
Load More Replies... I was teased as a Cassie, but I don't think that's all that unusual. The oddest I encountered growing up was a very European white family with kids all named after wild animals. I was friends with Wolf, Bear, and Hawk. I thought their names were pretty cool.
Vuk (wolf) is common and nice name in Serbia. In Croatia it is rather common name Lav (lion). Also some fruit and tree names are normal (cherry, quince, fir, birch...)
Load More Replies... my parents thought it'd be funny to give me the middle name of Alexander. basically my middle name killed* my first name . ...* i know he didn't actually but in war
I'm not sure if I met her before, but the first time I remember meeting my grandmother and some of my mother's siblings, I asked one uncle what is last name was. "You mean to tell me your name is Blaise Blais?!?" "Yes" "Who named you like that?" "Me. I named him like that" my GM said. So, I started a rant right in front of her (I was probably 6-7 y.o.), walking to-and-fro in front of them. My uncle was laughing, my GM was shocked, and my mother told me repeatedly to shut up. I was just explaining that if she thought about it, she would have known her kid would have been the victim of bullying and finished with "What else did you do???". LOL. I was right, though.
There are some countries that have veto over ridiculous names. F9lks, you are naming HUMAN BEINGS, not babies.
I met one 'Latrina' once. Not Spanish or Mexican or from a culture that may have a different meaning. A white American woman. I suppose Katrina was just too common for her parents. But jumping further than L was too much work
I used to know someone we all knew as Gift. I found out later that her actual name was God's Gift
My grandmother was named Pleasant. Her brothers were Utah, Nevada and Arizona. Their last name was Smith.
Virtue names are the worst! Faith, Hope, Patience, I knew a Love, Chastity, Charity, etc. Treasure isn't a virtue name but it is still bad.
Come to think of it, my language is pretty wild here.... Vjera (Faith), Nada (Hope), Blagica (Treasure), Slava (Glory), Ljupka (Lovely)...even my name, it means Darling :D :D
Load More Replies... Years and years ago I spent a summer working in the office of an American summer camp. There was this kid called Karel, and I just could not find the file. Now where I live Karel is a male name exclusively, but in this case it was a creative version of Carol. That took me way too long to realise ...
Ahmiracle, I’munique, Reighleigh, Phelonee, Yuniqie, Aliviyah, Kinglsley, Randy, Chad, Blake, Leighton, Madison, Hunter, Addison, Peyton, Summer, Crystal, Kennedy, Brody, Blake, Jayden, Logan, Mason, Trent, Paisleigh, Ashleigh, Everleigh, Kynzlee, Braxton, Chet, Chase, Raddix, Taylor, Clayton, Brock, Travis, and the all time winner……Reighfyl.
There are two children in my town called Ecuador and Orchestra. Also a little girl called Temperance. Used to know a young woman called Antigone.
I know a Spider Tarantula, just remembered that one. We worked at Amazon together.
I would be on this list if I had kids...or even with my spelling of my name! (Mom told dad either One T, or TTE, and you see what I got. Anyways, if I had kids, I really love Ryleigh Rayne ( I know I'm sorry)
There's a former NFL player named Malcolm. His mom let his brother choose his name. What's his brother's name? Malcolm. lmao
A long time ago had a couple of customers that were "recovering" meth addicts, and they had three kids with wild names, more suited to pets. I think one was Fluffy, and another was Snowball...can't remember the third one...I hope those kids turned out okay, despite their upbringing.
I know a girl named Tieranni (pronounced Tyranny) and a Destanni (Destiny) as well a sisters named Savanna and Sahara. Lucky all of these girl are very wonderful people with unfortunate names. On the other side of less nice people I know a Corrello and a Creighton.
Savanna and Sahara aren't that bad. The other two are a lil cringey.
Load More Replies... Family member taught kids of pharmacist. i only remember Codeine .
Talia is a common Italian surname. I know a Jenny Talia. Another has surname Bird. Full name Jenny Isobel Bird. I refuse to tell you the unique name I gave my daughter, just comment that my daughter is now my son.
Your daughter is now your son? Your DNA does not change.
Load More Replies... I used to with with someone who's brother was named Bubba. Not a nickname, his actual name. We're not even from Arkansas!
In grade school there were sisters, Vida, Verla and Lanay. I taught a student named La Trina, and La-a(LaDasha).
Tuesday is cute for a girl but not sure why her parents called her that....like Wednesday from the Adams family maybe???
At Starbucks the other day, I told them my name was Erin and my cup came back with "Airolym" written on it if anyone is looking for a "unique" spelling for that.
My favorite was Sierra Mist. This was after the lemon lime flavored soda came out. Thankfully for this person they changed the soda’s name to Starry.
I went to elementary school with boy/girl set of twins with the last name of Light. Their first names were Bud & Crystal. I also knew a woman whose name is Patience, & her sisters are Promise & Prudence which are great names but also a lot of pressure for young girls to live up to 😆
