We all have traits that we don't like about ourselves. For some, it's not being able to keep quiet when necessary, while for others, it's the other way around. This is especially true for people who have anxiety and are highly self-aware of their actions. One internet user asked the question "What's an absolute turn off about your own personality that you're aware of but can't help?" and the thread instantly flooded with comments. As it turns out, we're not that different from each other after all.
Scroll down below to read what people had to say and don't forget to upvote the entries that you feel most related to!
I overshare information when I get excited and just speak so much that it's embarrassing. Or I just don't speak at all.
I frequently forget that I told someone something and repeat stories. Drives my husband insane.
My friend group calls me dad due to my terrible jokes and always being prepared for thing.
A friend hosting a party? I'll bring some beer and snacks and a pillow and blanket to make sure people are taken care of.
I'm having people over? I'll stock up with 5 times more beer and snacks than needed and get the spare room ready and have a spare air mattress on deck in case people get too drunk.
Had your period at a dudes house? No worries, tampons and pads under the sink along with a few rolls of TP and some sanitizing wipes with aloe.
Need directions to a place? Here's the address and I'll give you a rough explanation with landmarks where you're going to want to turn.
You have a specific task you need to get done and don't know anyone? Give me a minute, I'll call a guy.
I’m worried way too often that I’m annoying or bothering people and end up apologizing for it, which then ACTUALLY makes me annoying. It’s a vicious cycle.
Im pretty sarcastic, but I'm a pretty monotone person so people tend to think I'm being serious at times where I'm really not
I have been asked so many times if I am on the autism spectrum. I am not, but I absolutely hate making eye contact while conversing with people. Just find it awkward & when I try to, it just turns into a staring contest. All these questions start popping in my head then
"How often should I blink my eyes/ should I coordinate my blinking with theirs"
"How long should I keep the eye contact"
"Should I be the one to avert my eyes or should I wait for them to look away" & then I get anxious about the actual topic of the conversation because I am not paying all my attention to what they're saying.
Edit: I am in the medical field so most everyone who notices my social awkwardness tries to guess what's wrong with me. Bi***es love diagnosing!
I won't shut the f**k up.
I also respond to stories with my own stories. Apparently people think I am one upping them when in fact I am trying to create connections via shared experiences.
I am very annoying to be around
I over-analyze everything. Anything anyone says, or any look they give me, is an insult. I just have to figure out how.
Edit: Damn, I didn't realize so many people would relate to this. To answer a lot of your questions: no, I don't act out on it, but sometimes I ask for positive affirmations too frequently. Yes, I'm in therapy and it is helping. And to everyone who said they freak out they're going to get fired -- I feel you. I've been at my job for almost four years and I'm convinced everyone hates me.
Ok, I finish people’s sentences in my head so I accidentally cut them off in the middle of their sentences. It is very rude, and I can see when I do it every time but for some reason I can’t control the impulse.
I'm really outwardly cold. I actually care about people a lot. I just avoid complimenting people so I don't seem creepy. I avoid standing close to people so I don't seem creepy. I don't jump in to other people's conversations so I don't seem creepy.
There's a pattern.
Edit since this got a whole bunch of responses/upvotes: Thanks for all the positive messages and the like. Apparently it seems I would have better social success in a few European countries. So thanks to the multitude of fellow RBF or unintentionally cold/standoffish people who saw this.
I have this incessant need to be right. It isn't that I can't admit when I'm wrong, I'm totally down with that. But if I'm right, I won't let go until you cave and admit that I was right.
I don't take anything seriously except the negative internal comments I make about myself.
Overthinking leads to becoming stressed, which often leads to me losing control over what situation I’m in which then leads me to panic because I lost control.
I tend to overcompensate for my extreme anxiety/depression and can come across as obnoxious (and tend to overshare info). Like maybe if I'm loud enough I can drown out my inside voice.
[Edit] - My top rated comment is now about how insecure I am. Yay!
I have an addictive personality so I get addicted to things, habits, situations, ppl etc easily but it only last a season than I move to a new addiction. This is why I’ve never allowed myself to try hard drugs.
I'm not good at "faking it". If I'm not happy, I can't fake a smile. If I'm not interested, I'm not good at feigning interest. If I'm annoyed, you're going to know it.
The pro of that though is that you know that when I smile, laugh, show interest in something, etc., it's all genuine.
I constantly need to be assured that the person is into me. I have abandonment issues that have made me quite insecure.
I turn into my mother and smother people. I realize I'm doing it, but I can't seem to stop myself.
For example: "Oh, you're going out? Don't forget your coat."
"You should get to bed soon if need to be up early."
"Did you get something to eat? You should grab a bite."
A friend once looked me in the eye and said, "Hey, I'm an adult. I'm quite able to make all my own decisions, and pay the consequence for those decisions." Ouch. That one stung a bit. But it all comes from a good place.
I am s**t at receiving compliments because i don't like myself and always feel like i could do better even though i do nothing. Can make me sound arrogant or condescending when someone compliments me and i reject it or just passively ignore it.
I am never on time. I try as much as I can to leave earlier but I always end up late because I spent too much time doing something else.
I'm really quiet and distant and awkward. The type that never reaches out, says "Yeah let's hang out" but never makes plans, doesn't want to "bother" anyone, doesn't speak much unless spoken to (and keeps it pretty surface level).
It's infuriating when I see it in other people, but I don't know how to be any other way myself, quite honestly.
I am stubborn, I cannot change this because I am stubborn.
I suck at telling stories, mainly because I put a lot of random details in where they don't belong. I also tend to stammer and get sidetracked, so a 30-second story takes me about 2 minutes.
I'm pretty laid back and a good listener, however when I feel passionate about something, my body tenses, my voice raises and I get very intense. It's off putting and I have not got it under control yet.
I get incredibly grumpy for absolutely no reason. I know I'm doing it, but I can't help it. I don't want to be grumpy, but there it is
Edit: I am so glad that my top comment is about how much of a**hole I am capable of involuntarily being
I'm s**t at replying. I'm aware I do it and I know it annoys people but when it comes to it I just cannot be bothered, it feels too draining to always be at the beck and call of other people through a phone. Honestly I'm not sure how some people do it.
I think I'm smarter than others. It's f**king annoying to always have to fight my own ego so that I don't piss off other people.
I come across as a bit of a know-it-all by constantly chiming in with semi-relevant “fun facts”. I don’t mean to, I just get over excited because I find odd facts fascinating and forget not everyone cares.
On that note, did you know that the word “pool” (as in pool of money) comes from a Medieval French game where they threw rocks at a chicken’s head for money?
I often repeat statements. Even when I don't, I still talk too much.
Edit: How interesting and exciting to see that other people do the same thing. I mean... the same thing. That's interesting and exciting.
I can't help but give people advice or recommendations. I need to learn to just shut the f**k up and listen without response.
I'm too much of an idealist. I'm the sort of person who lives in a loop, either reminiscing about the past, or disregarding it and living for the future. I have a very hard time being present. I'm controlled by my emotions, but horrible at expressing them. My penchant for self-deprecation tends to make people uncomfortable. I zone out a lot, and have a hard time presenting a coherent version of myself to others.
Maybe I also overthink things. You know, just a little bit.
My thinking face, concerned face, exhausted face, they all look like anger. Anytime I’m not smiling or laughing I look like I’m furious. I’m super chill and easy-going, and rarely actually angry at anything BUT unless you knew me well you would not think that. It sux.
I'm just intensely boring.
I have no desire to maintain casual conversation or tell interesting stories. I'm perfectly happy with silence and one-word answers. I don't care about the random funny thing that happened to you three months ago and I don't have an equivalently interesting story to entertain you with in return.
Thank god I'm already married I'd be the worst person in the world to date.
I can be pretty cold. I generally find it difficult to see why some people get upset about stuff that I wouldn't give a s**t about.
I want people to like me. And think of 100 reasons why they don't when I don't feel a connection. I basically can't just chill without thinking the worst.
Living for other people rather than myself and not being able to say NO to other people's s**t.
Overthinking and stressing easily
I've always said I have an obsessive personality rather than addictive. I'll get completely obsessed with a thing for months or even years and then suddenly just drop it and never look back.
I’m a fence sitter. I see every side to every argument and can rarely commit to one because of it
When I get excited about something, I get loud as f**k.
I don't mean to yell or am even aware that my volume went up that much.
I interrupt people at the tail end of their stories and bring up my similar experiences in a way that can come off as one upping when really I don't have anything to add and just don't want to say nothing but I've gotten much better with that. I still do have a tendency to interrupt and notice I'm doing it every time which leads to lots of awkward apologies at the end of a conversation.
I have little control over my tone of voice, sometimes it seems like I’m snapping when I’m not even upset.
I love to over-plan things that are totally irrelevant to the present. It drives my fiancé crazy when I'm looking up school districts for our future kids.
I consistently stumble halfway through a sentence and then decide to just give up and abandon the idea entirely in shame.
The nervous laugh I have to throw in after everything, haha
My friends will ask me if I want to hang out and 9 out of 10 times I ask "Do YOU want to hang out? We don't have to if you don't want to." F**k I'm annoying.
I feel really awkward making eye contact and talking about my feelings.