We all have traits that we don't like about ourselves. For some, it's not being able to keep quiet when necessary, while for others, it's the other way around. This is especially true for people who have anxiety and are highly self-aware of their actions. One internet user asked the question "What's an absolute turn off about your own personality that you're aware of but can't help?" and the thread instantly flooded with comments. As it turns out, we're not that different from each other after all.

Scroll down below to read what people had to say and don't forget to upvote the entries that you feel most related to!


I overshare information when I get excited and just speak so much that it's embarrassing. Or I just don't speak at all.

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Tomas Holicka 5 months ago

"I overshare information" would make for a great T-shirt. Sometimes I tell people outright - don't tell me things you don't want leaked. You know, one beer leads to another and...

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I hate answering my phone. I ignore everyone.

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Aaron Kara 5 months ago (edited)

I'm right there with you. Being on the phone often makes me anxious and uncomfortable. I find the ringing of a phone comparable to somebody yelling "SPEAK TO ME NOW, SPEAK TO ME NOW, SPEAK TO ME NOW!!" - until you answer them

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I frequently forget that I told someone something and repeat stories. Drives my husband insane.

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BusLady 5 months ago

I know someone who says the same things over and over and over again. I feel like screaming "We know! We know!"

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My friend group calls me dad due to my terrible jokes and always being prepared for thing.

A friend hosting a party? I'll bring some beer and snacks and a pillow and blanket to make sure people are taken care of.

I'm having people over? I'll stock up with 5 times more beer and snacks than needed and get the spare room ready and have a spare air mattress on deck in case people get too drunk.

Had your period at a dudes house? No worries, tampons and pads under the sink along with a few rolls of TP and some sanitizing wipes with aloe.

Need directions to a place? Here's the address and I'll give you a rough explanation with landmarks where you're going to want to turn.

You have a specific task you need to get done and don't know anyone? Give me a minute, I'll call a guy.

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Aaron Kara 5 months ago

This just sounds like a really nice person - Although I sometimes do similar things especially when hosting, it comes from a combination of wanting people to enjoy a get-together without worrying about anything and a crushing need for people to like me. But hey, we all have our insecurities right...RIGHT?!

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I’m worried way too often that I’m annoying or bothering people and end up apologizing for it, which then ACTUALLY makes me annoying. It’s a vicious cycle.

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Aaron Kara 5 months ago

I honestly feel many of these traits are emblematic of people who are actually quite gentle, introspective and kind. That being the case, ill happily manage these kinds of idiosyncrasies if it means being self aware and avoiding a delusional idea of myself that isn't shared by the people around me.

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Im pretty sarcastic, but I'm a pretty monotone person so people tend to think I'm being serious at times where I'm really not

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Sreejith 5 months ago

we have a saying like "sarcasm is like electricity, half of India doesn't get it"

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I have been asked so many times if I am on the autism spectrum. I am not, but I absolutely hate making eye contact while conversing with people. Just find it awkward & when I try to, it just turns into a staring contest. All these questions start popping in my head then

"How often should I blink my eyes/ should I coordinate my blinking with theirs"

"How long should I keep the eye contact"

"Should I be the one to avert my eyes or should I wait for them to look away" & then I get anxious about the actual topic of the conversation because I am not paying all my attention to what they're saying.

Edit: I am in the medical field so most everyone who notices my social awkwardness tries to guess what's wrong with me. Bi***es love diagnosing!

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BusLady 5 months ago

For me, eye contact is awkward if the person is standing too close.

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I won't shut the f**k up.

I also respond to stories with my own stories. Apparently people think I am one upping them when in fact I am trying to create connections via shared experiences.

I am very annoying to be around

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BusLady 5 months ago

This is so me.

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I over-analyze everything. Anything anyone says, or any look they give me, is an insult. I just have to figure out how.

Edit: Damn, I didn't realize so many people would relate to this. To answer a lot of your questions: no, I don't act out on it, but sometimes I ask for positive affirmations too frequently. Yes, I'm in therapy and it is helping. And to everyone who said they freak out they're going to get fired -- I feel you. I've been at my job for almost four years and I'm convinced everyone hates me.

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Daria B 5 months ago (edited)

I kinda relate to this as well. But I think it's because I was one of the bullied kids. I try to remind myself I'm just being irrational every time my mind goes astray. In my case, it helps. Guess I'm not a too extreme of an example.

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Ok, I finish people’s sentences in my head so I accidentally cut them off in the middle of their sentences. It is very rude, and I can see when I do it every time but for some reason I can’t control the impulse.

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HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK 5 months ago

This is one thing i have worked on over the years, i have a habit of talking over people, especially when drunk, i know its annoying and i have all but stopped doing it, i have to think "listen until the end of the sentence, listen until the end of the sentence". People have done it me so i know its annoying. First step is to recognise your flaws.

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I'm really outwardly cold. I actually care about people a lot. I just avoid complimenting people so I don't seem creepy. I avoid standing close to people so I don't seem creepy. I don't jump in to other people's conversations so I don't seem creepy.

There's a pattern.

Edit since this got a whole bunch of responses/upvotes: Thanks for all the positive messages and the like. Apparently it seems I would have better social success in a few European countries. So thanks to the multitude of fellow RBF or unintentionally cold/standoffish people who saw this.

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Daria B 5 months ago

I'm afraid this applies to me as well. Until someone opens up to me.

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I have this incessant need to be right. It isn't that I can't admit when I'm wrong, I'm totally down with that. But if I'm right, I won't let go until you cave and admit that I was right.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

Haha, so relatable! Worst thing is, my mom, brother and best friend all have the same 'issue' so we have lots of heated arguments :)

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I don't take anything seriously except the negative internal comments I make about myself.

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Much Egg 5 months ago

Same man...

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Overthinking leads to becoming stressed, which often leads to me losing control over what situation I’m in which then leads me to panic because I lost control.

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Aaron Kara 5 months ago

You know I dont think I've stopped overthinking as I've gotten older. I think we learn how to better manage our minds and direct those thoughts in a more composed manner without getting overwhelmed...sometimes, not all the time XD

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I tend to overcompensate for my extreme anxiety/depression and can come across as obnoxious (and tend to overshare info). Like maybe if I'm loud enough I can drown out my inside voice.

[Edit] - My top rated comment is now about how insecure I am. Yay!

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

Haha I love your edit :)

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I have an addictive personality so I get addicted to things, habits, situations, ppl etc easily but it only last a season than I move to a new addiction. This is why I’ve never allowed myself to try hard drugs.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

Me too. I suffer from bipolar disorder and addictive personality is one of many related traits. Whether it is smoking, drugs, alcohol, nailbiting, gaming,... and I tend to replace one addiction with another instead of beating it. On the plus side, I'm clean and sober for almost 9 years now. My nails look like shit, though.

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My face gives away exactly what I’m thinking.

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TheBlackPanda 5 months ago

I'm like the opposite. I look pissed all the time lol I could be having the best day of my life and I'd still look pretty pissed

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I'm not good at "faking it". If I'm not happy, I can't fake a smile. If I'm not interested, I'm not good at feigning interest. If I'm annoyed, you're going to know it.

The pro of that though is that you know that when I smile, laugh, show interest in something, etc., it's all genuine.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

I like that in a person. Honesty. What you see is what you get.

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I constantly need to be assured that the person is into me. I have abandonment issues that have made me quite insecure.

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TheBlackPanda 5 months ago

Omg me too! I need constant reassurance to feel secure

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I talk about myself too much

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Night Owl 5 months ago

Me too, because I want to show that I can relate to something and how I can relate to it. But I probably come across as obnoxious and/or selfish. (and now I've done it again)

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I turn into my mother and smother people. I realize I'm doing it, but I can't seem to stop myself.

For example: "Oh, you're going out? Don't forget your coat."

"You should get to bed soon if need to be up early."

"Did you get something to eat? You should grab a bite."

A friend once looked me in the eye and said, "Hey, I'm an adult. I'm quite able to make all my own decisions, and pay the consequence for those decisions." Ouch. That one stung a bit. But it all comes from a good place.

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Wil Vanderheijden 5 months ago

You probably reminded your friend of similar occasions where his parents treated him like he was an absolute idiot who couldn't even cross the street without their help.

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I am s**t at receiving compliments because i don't like myself and always feel like i could do better even though i do nothing. Can make me sound arrogant or condescending when someone compliments me and i reject it or just passively ignore it.

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Maci Wilcox 5 months ago

Yup, when people compliment me, I usually just babble quitely and shake my head, then go home and watch Netflix with my dog and think about how much that person probably hates me now lol

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I am never on time. I try as much as I can to leave earlier but I always end up late because I spent too much time doing something else.

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Board Pan, duh. 5 months ago

ALWAYS. My whole life. No matter what. I try and squeeze in something else if I am early.... Usually just 5-10 minutes.., but nevertheless, late.

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I'm really quiet and distant and awkward. The type that never reaches out, says "Yeah let's hang out" but never makes plans, doesn't want to "bother" anyone, doesn't speak much unless spoken to (and keeps it pretty surface level).

It's infuriating when I see it in other people, but I don't know how to be any other way myself, quite honestly.

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Bea Mee 5 months ago

I'm the same way. I guess it's some sort of insecurity.


I am stubborn, I cannot change this because I am stubborn.

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BusLady 5 months ago


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I suck at telling stories, mainly because I put a lot of random details in where they don't belong. I also tend to stammer and get sidetracked, so a 30-second story takes me about 2 minutes.

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NotMe 5 months ago

I'm the opposite, I tend to rush stories because I think it's an irrelevant story, even though it might be a topic I'd like to discuss extensively but it ends up being short and pointless.

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I'm pretty laid back and a good listener, however when I feel passionate about something, my body tenses, my voice raises and I get very intense. It's off putting and I have not got it under control yet.

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Lilly 5 months ago

YET. but it sounds like you're trying, so good for you!

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I get incredibly grumpy for absolutely no reason. I know I'm doing it, but I can't help it. I don't want to be grumpy, but there it is

Edit: I am so glad that my top comment is about how much of a**hole I am capable of involuntarily being

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HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK 5 months ago

This is me too, so grumpy, i have to remind myself that i actually have to be civil to work colleagues because i'm an adult and you can't walk around having a pissy fit all day. So grumpy, so much of the time.

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I'm s**t at replying. I'm aware I do it and I know it annoys people but when it comes to it I just cannot be bothered, it feels too draining to always be at the beck and call of other people through a phone. Honestly I'm not sure how some people do it.

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TheBlackPanda 5 months ago

Sometimes I'm like this. Other times I reply immediately because seeing the notification there just bothers me lol

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I think I'm smarter than others. It's f**king annoying to always have to fight my own ego so that I don't piss off other people.

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Daria B 5 months ago

I fall into this trap too sometimes. Then I realise how judgemental I really am. And feel a bit disgusted with myself. At least I learnt how to turn it into a joke, if the situation allows it, or admit it openly as soon as I realise during the conversation.

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I come across as a bit of a know-it-all by constantly chiming in with semi-relevant “fun facts”. I don’t mean to, I just get over excited because I find odd facts fascinating and forget not everyone cares.

On that note, did you know that the word “pool” (as in pool of money) comes from a Medieval French game where they threw rocks at a chicken’s head for money?

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Lilly 5 months ago

see, i like talking to people that contribute fun facts to a conversation! and i like to learn new stuff, so thank you for my 'what i learned today' fun fact (though it can't have been fun for the chicken)

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I often repeat statements. Even when I don't, I still talk too much.

Edit: How interesting and exciting to see that other people do the same thing. I mean... the same thing. That's interesting and exciting.

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Nela Rothenbach 5 months ago

Oh my....I do that. And I hate it.

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I can't help but give people advice or recommendations. I need to learn to just shut the f**k up and listen without response.

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BusLady 5 months ago

But sometimes they might appreciate the advice.

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I'm too much of an idealist. I'm the sort of person who lives in a loop, either reminiscing about the past, or disregarding it and living for the future. I have a very hard time being present. I'm controlled by my emotions, but horrible at expressing them. My penchant for self-deprecation tends to make people uncomfortable. I zone out a lot, and have a hard time presenting a coherent version of myself to others.

Maybe I also overthink things. You know, just a little bit.

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Jill 5 months ago

I think lots of ppl have this problem which is why mindfulness is so popular...

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My thinking face, concerned face, exhausted face, they all look like anger. Anytime I’m not smiling or laughing I look like I’m furious. I’m super chill and easy-going, and rarely actually angry at anything BUT unless you knew me well you would not think that. It sux.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

Resting bitchface...

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I'm just intensely boring.

I have no desire to maintain casual conversation or tell interesting stories. I'm perfectly happy with silence and one-word answers. I don't care about the random funny thing that happened to you three months ago and I don't have an equivalently interesting story to entertain you with in return.

Thank god I'm already married I'd be the worst person in the world to date.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

If you didn't say you are married, I would be convinced you were my boyfriend! He doesn't like smalltalk, and most of the time he just nods in silence. Can be annoying at times, especially when I'm sharing something that feels important to me. But I deeply love him for who he is..

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I can be pretty cold. I generally find it difficult to see why some people get upset about stuff that I wouldn't give a s**t about.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

I'm really down to earth and a 'it is wat it is' person. Comes across as indifferent at times.

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I want people to like me. And think of 100 reasons why they don't when I don't feel a connection. I basically can't just chill without thinking the worst.

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TheBlackPanda 5 months ago

I'm kind of like this too but if they don't like me I just tell myself they're not that great anyway lol. It helps me move on pretty easily.

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Living for other people rather than myself and not being able to say NO to other people's s**t.

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BusLady 5 months ago

I had to learn in recent years, how to say no. I don't want to try to do too much. It can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and even illness.

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Overthinking and stressing easily

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BusLady 5 months ago

Counseling can really help with this.


I've always said I have an obsessive personality rather than addictive. I'll get completely obsessed with a thing for months or even years and then suddenly just drop it and never look back.

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BusLady 5 months ago

I have a tendency to get interested in a subject, then I read book after book on the subject for months. And do research online.

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I’m a fence sitter. I see every side to every argument and can rarely commit to one because of it

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

I always try to comprehend both sides. Mostly I relate to one side more, but can see why people are on the other side. Except for Trump. I don't get that.

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When I get excited about something, I get loud as f**k.

I don't mean to yell or am even aware that my volume went up that much.

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Llamadrama 5 months ago

Me too!

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I interrupt people at the tail end of their stories and bring up my similar experiences in a way that can come off as one upping when really I don't have anything to add and just don't want to say nothing but I've gotten much better with that. I still do have a tendency to interrupt and notice I'm doing it every time which leads to lots of awkward apologies at the end of a conversation.

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BusLady 5 months ago

We do this a lot on BP ( bring up similar experiences). I enjoy reading people's stories, and I hope some people enjoy mine. :-)

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I have little control over my tone of voice, sometimes it seems like I’m snapping when I’m not even upset.

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Jaguarundi 5 months ago

I have to get the "scolding" tone out of my voice. I sound like I'm teaching or correcting people when all I'm trying to do is have a conversation with them.

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I love to over-plan things that are totally irrelevant to the present. It drives my fiancé crazy when I'm looking up school districts for our future kids.

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Isog Sargent 5 months ago

Nothing wrong with this. Planning for things way in the future simply allows you time to research and to dream. Also, it allows you to work out kinks and mistakes that others would have to experience firsthand to find out about. If your fiance' can't love and appreciate that you are not the same person as he is maybe he's not for you.

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I consistently stumble halfway through a sentence and then decide to just give up and abandon the idea entirely in shame.

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BusLady 5 months ago

I get halfway through a sentence and forget what I was talking about. Lol

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The nervous laugh I have to throw in after everything, haha

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My friends will ask me if I want to hang out and 9 out of 10 times I ask "Do YOU want to hang out? We don't have to if you don't want to." F**k I'm annoying.

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Naima Ivansdóttir 5 months ago

step further: my ex boyfriend thought that i invited him to events and places in "a way" (???) which sounded to him like i really didn't want him to come so i could go on my own (strong implication: to try and score one-night stands). i can't even.

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I feel really awkward making eye contact and talking about my feelings.

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Matt Richardson 5 months ago


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