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The term “mansplaining” is a relatively new one. After first being innovated by the author Rebecca Solnit in 2008, it allowed women to describe a common experience they share for which they never had the terminology. “Mansplaining” went beyond the generics like “patronizing” and “presumptuous” and shed light on a profoundly negative side that men explaining things to women has.

Unfortunately, unsolicited explanations from men who are neither your teacher nor your manager are all too common. But to see the level of absurdity and obviousness of the things women have mansplained to them, we have to look at the actual instances that happened to them in real life.

So when Twitter user Nicole Froio, who’s a PhD on sexual violence and masculinity, asked women to share “the most obvious thing a man has ever mansplained to you,” the answers started pouring in one after another. Both ludicrous and plain irritating, they speak thousands of words about power imbalance and gender bias, which shouldn’t be the case when we live in 2021.

Read more irritating mansplaining cases as shared by women in our previous article right here.

Image credits: NicoleFroio

#2

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LuckyL
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean... You push the same way - everything else is completely different (yes, I've done both)

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H Edwards
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I witnessed an American man trying to explain a Spanish girl's name to her. He was insisting that one of her names was a 'middle' name, and she was patiently saying that names work differently in Spain. She finally snapped and said 'I know what my own name is'. He was also manspreading in the worst possible way. It was quite hilarious to watch.

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Bored Panda reached out to the author of the thread, Nicole Froio, who is a feminist writer and researcher. Nicole explained that “mansplaining is one of many daily aggressions women go through in a sexist and misogynistic society, so it has to be understood as a part of a larger system of oppression rather than an isolated incident.”

It comes from the assumption that “women and other non-men don't have the intelligence to understand the topic at hand, which is a sexist and misogynistic assumption. The mansplainer will explain something that the woman probably already knows already, usually in a condescending and infantilizing way.”

#4

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Sum Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never understood why men feel the need to say balls hurt more. That might be true, but it's a pain that lasts 30 seconds at it's most intense then subsides... childbirth is constant for a longtime

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Juririn
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to drive, but I avoid driving when having my period because I realise I have diminished concentration due to all kinds of discomfort, so no, this cannot be wished away by working harder and pushing through.

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Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need a new doc. Those cramps should be made tolerable with a tylenol (and a hot water bottle maybe). If it's worse, something is off.

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Liz the Wanderer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is only one absolute cure for endometriosis and it eliminates the possibility of pregnancy. Not everyone's experience is the same.

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Jamma
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Knit Your Cramps Away"! Strange how we women don't know this after eons of passing advice to one another... ;p

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El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the drawback of male ob/gyns, they don't understand what they're talking about whilst having been educated in it they'll never feel it. Still, this is no excuse for being an asshole.

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Pamda Panda
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was I grad school, my ob/gyn was an old French guy. At one appointment, he asked what I was studying in grad school, and I told him-- public policy and women's studies. He responded by telling me that was great because women need to know how to balance checkbooks. I found a new doctor.

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Rebekah
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

JFC... I keep mentally thinking "F You" with every one of these.

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Blackheart
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Their only other solution is hysterectomy. One extreme or the other.

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Daniel Marsh
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not unsolicited advice... you probably paid him $400/hr for it, right?

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Panda_Crossing
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, it's true that if you're very focused on something you can 'forget' pain (at least for me) but that doesn't work on purpose nor does it work if the pain is too strong to concentrate on anything else in the first place

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Denise Melek
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine told me my chronic UTI could be caused by of "being stressed by Corona". Turned out I had a antibiotics-resistant bacteria. Going to another (female) GYN now.

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i'll sleep when im dead
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

not true. I draw, go for runs, write stories and poetry, swim, and have cramps from the depths of hell every month.

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somnomania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in my opinion, there shouldn't be male ob/gyns. they can study anatomy and medicine all they want, but without actual personal experience there's no way they can *really* understand.

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c Fuller
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

our high school dean of women actually had me go to a psychiatrist because my cramps would have me unable to move for hours and a body temp of 93*, which on a male would have been in shock!

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Marvin HeartofGold
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have always had hobbies I consider interesting and I work so hard on my job that my boss only bothers with evals as a formality. Clearly the PMDD I've always suffered from just means I'm not trying hard enough.

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Susan Egan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow I hope this woman changed Dr's as soon as she was out of his office.

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Sandra Nolan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had one say "You women should really get over this". A few months later I had emergency surgery to remove an infected fallopian tube that had become gangrene !

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Alejandra Lima
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why women keep on going to male ob/gyn when they are not comfortable with them?

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thepinkrobot
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WOW! As if very painful cramps can't be a symptom of something larger going on

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Verena
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is partially correct. A significant amount of pain goes away with distraction. That's one of the reasons dentists ask their patients' questions. To keep their minds occupied elsewhere.

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try being distracted when you feel like somebody is stabbing you in the uterus...

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Dave In MD
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3 years ago

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So your saying that the Doctor with a Medical Degree and years of experience doesn't know what he is talking about because he is a man? If a female Doctor told me something about my genitalia that I didn't know, I would believe her because she is a Doctor. Just because you are female doesn't mean you know everything there is to know about the female body.

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Catlady6000
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While that instructor a degree, you know best how your body is supposed to function/feel, you've lived with it far longer than any Dr. What if a Dr told you the squishy mass that suddenly appeared in your s*****m was nothing to worry about, and brushed off any discomfort as being unimportant. Frankly, it's not just male Drs that give us this attitude, female Drs can be just as bad. I think it boils down to "If I haven't experienced it, it doesn't exist" kind of attitude.

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According to Nicole, it depends where the act of mansplaining happens. For example, when it’s in a professional setting, “this can result in the woman in a professional setting feeling disrespected and/or inept for doing their job, they could feel like they've been publicly humiliated in front of their colleagues and feel a general loss of respect for her expertise."

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Paul K. Johnson
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know the situation there and it sounds like he was a moron. I've written a lot of code and at least a couple of times someone told me what it was really doing which wasn't what I thought it was doing. So they were right. I wrote in a bug and they caught it.

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Ljdia
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex. "I am right and if I'm not, well, let's pretend it didn't happen, let's not ever talk about it."

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For the men who’re wondering about not coming across as mansplainers, Nicole says that simply asking can go a long way. “Instead of assuming a person doesn't know about a certain topic, why not ask 'Do you know how this works?' or 'I'm not sure if you're familiar with this, but if you do, feel free to stop me.'” These simple questions can correct the behavior that might accidentally harm someone.

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Ekate
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wouldn't that be great, though? Like an inner emergency guillotine.

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Flare
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Niall, a birthmark is when part of the skin pigments differently than the rest.

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Even though Nicole said that mansplaining is not one of the worst things experienced by women in a patriarchal system, she sees it wrong because “it rectifies the gender structure on an interpersonal level.”

“For example, you might be a woman in a male-dominated industry where your expertise is already undervalued because that field is male-dominated, and then one of your colleagues mansplains a simple concept everyone in the office is familiar with.”

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Stille20
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh noooooo... it's one thing when it is a random a**hole... but that's her a**hole

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Ozacoter
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awesome job. I loved when I worked in one for a while.

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Such cases can do long-term harm to women. “This can lead to things like imposter syndrome and an unwelcome work environment for women, where people's suspicions about the woman's supposed lack of expertise are rectified by the mansplaining."

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When asked how one should react to being mansplained to, Nicole said that personally she finds being assertive quite important when responding to mansplaining. “I usually respond by saying things like 'Thanks for explaining, but I already knew that' or even interrupting the mansplainer and saying 'Sorry to interrupt, but I already know that, so we can move onto the next topic instead of wasting time?’”

Your response can just be a gentle nudge to the fact that you are knowledgeable and that you don't need an explanation, Nicole concluded.

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Raine Soo
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have noticed that people just don't listen. Whatever you have to say is inconsequential. It can be infuriating, but sometimes, I think "nevermind" and I walk away.

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StIJN
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

seems like he might have an interesting view on the subject as he's seen the negative side of the education system.

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Annika Jorgensen
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maby it's more a case of he learned and read up about it and wanted to share it? My partner did the same for our son, not that he was be the breastfeeder xD. But i was happy that he took his time to read up and understand allot of things about having kids. And even if me and his mom already knew things. It's not hard to just listen, and be happy that at least they try instead of not caring about it.

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Tabitha L
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm guessing piloting is a male dominated field? I never thought about it. Anyone know the breakdown? Is it because of military service? Are the numbers starting to even out? Have I asked too many questions?

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K.
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...and when you tell them your credentials/expertise/ or education they say you’re arrogant.

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Carrie Laughs
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I said something about that very issue to my sister who had no idea of the direction one should wipe.

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Donkey boi
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't even know there were such things as trucks with 36 gears! Does it work like bicycle gears?

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Samantha Lomb
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In fairness I have met a lot of people who didn't know the political history of their home country. And no they were not just Americans. Some of my Russian students have said some really funny stuff too, like when one tried to tell me the statue on the main square was Stalin. Its a bearded bald guy who is pretty obviously Lenin. And my colleagues used to have students tell them in English about the history of their home town ( Kirov) and none of the students seemed to know who that was despite the town being named for him and us having statues of him dotted around. In fairness I study Soviet history, but they would say, "Let's ask the American" and then I of course knew who Sergei Mironovich was and students would study harder for their next dialogue.

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Samantha Lomb
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd suggest he also go look up infant and maternal mortality rates in Africa and then report him

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Raine Soo
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, that can be any art admirer, regardless of gender, interpreting a drawing, painting, or photograph.

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Periwinkle
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do they get a kick out of wrongly declaring things for women? Alternate drug high?

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Periwinkle
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh yes they do know so much more than you of that topic, y'know.

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Raine Soo
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the first time I've heard of this one. I must be terribly sheltered.

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