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19 Women Share Non-Sexual But Intimate Things They Do With Their Partners
Article created by: Ilona Baliūnaitė
Living alone is the ultimate in self-care, no questions needed. Anyone who’s been-there-done-that knows the neverending list of underrated advantages it brings, and if you don’t, be sure to check our previous post about it right here.
This, however, doesn’t imply if a person is in a relationship or not. And although many loners would say that there’s no bigger love than your love for yourself, having a partner can be a real blessing, too. Think of all the couples’ things you can do, little quirks you can share, wholesome moments you can have, and all the romance that accumulates throughout the years.
So in order to find out what it's like having a partner, we looked at this thread on r/AskWomen where people shared their answers to the question “What is the most intimate, non-sex thing you do with your partner?” Turns out that intimacy differs sooo much from one couple to another that we can’t possibly make a universal conclusion, but we can surely say this is wholesome turned up to the max.
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#1
My partner died 10 months ago. Reading this warms my heart. We shared many of the same things you’re all describing (cuddling, being sick together, being in hospital, being able to say/do the weirdest things without repercussions, sharing our tears, grooming each other).
I think one of my favorite things was that we had a whole little language no one else understood. Little mannerisms and abbreviations and gestures that were only funny or meaningful to us. We could also just tell what the other was thinking after 13 years of knowing each other. I could tell he was thirsty just by the way he looked around the room. We walked into a busy cafe once and he immediately knew I wanted to leave so we could find somewhere quieter.
My partner was also an Afghanistan veteran. I feel privileged to have loved and supported him through that experience. It was a big part of his life.
I cherish all that. These intimate things are the things your special relationships are made of.
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#2
I scratch his back and head. He was telling me how his mom would scratch his back and it is a very intimate thing for him. His grandma would scratch his head until he fell asleep.
Ever since he told me that, I’ve been trying my best to stay awake long enough that he falls asleep from head scratches too, as he has trouble falling asleep. Last night I finally held out long enough. I could hear his breathing change and his body relax and felt him fall asleep under my hand and I don’t know why, but I was the happiest in the world because I could do something for him like that - someone I really care about. He told me I was amazing and I just melted. I hope to do it more often
#3
I think the most intimate thing happened during my second son’s birth a few months ago. I had given birth quickly and easily, but then began hemmoraging. They stood me up to go to the bathroom and blood began pooling down my legs and feet. Immediately back in bed, giving me shots and meds to try to stop it but it wouldn’t. The nurses were scared and a team ran in. My husband laid the baby down and held my hand- I was terrified I was dying and leaving them. I just kept looking into his eyes and telling him I was so scared, and he stayed calm and smiled and reassured me. I’m so lucky- they found a piece of retained placenta and were able to give me a second epidural and manually remove it. But I ended up losing almost 800 ml of blood. I really thought those could be my last moments, and I just locked eyes with him, trying to communicate everything I needed him to know about our family and my sons- but too scared to say any of it outloud. It was the most intimate moment of my life.
#4
My boyfriend is a big guy with a lot of confidence, so it’s very adorable when he snuggles up to me like he’s teeny tiny. I’m also the big spoon 100% of the time. He can never know I posted this lol
#5
Literally sleeping together. That’s not something I’ve done with another person for a VERY long time. Cuddling and eventually falling asleep in someone’s arms is very intimate and requires quite a bit of vulnerability
#6
Taking care of me when I was sick. We’ve been together for about a year and don’t live together. I had to cancel plans because I had the stomach bug (diarrhea and throwing up) and he came over and took care of me. Any man that can witness his girl sitting on the toilet and head in a trash can and still want to cuddle you and love on you is a keeper.
#7
Cry together. Just holding each other as we both sob. We've had a lot of hard knocks since getting married young. But we are still so madly in love.
#8
Sometimes we start giggling at a silly joke and end up just laughing together uncontrollably in bed before we go to sleep. It’s my favorite.
#9
I recently started helping my SO trim his beard. It felt really intimate.
I’m African, he’s Middle Eastern. It took me a while but I eventually let him help with taking out my cornrows when I change hairstyles, and helping me wash/condition my hair. That’s pretty intimate to me.
#11
He likes to call me different nicknames, one of them being “peach.” So, whenever he wants to cuddle, he says “peach time?” and we cuddle and just lay there together. It’s honestly one of my favorite things in the world.
#12
My husband likes to straight up lay on me with his head on my chest and fall asleep like that on the couch, like a toddler would. It’s so sweet I absolutely love it:)
#14
He goes to bed much later than I do, but he puts me to bed every night. I lay my head on his chest and play with his beard while he rubs my head. Then I will usually tell him, "I need some skin," and I will untuck his shirt, and put my hand up inside under his shirt and rub his chest/play with his chest hair as he rubs my head, until I fall asleep. It is my favorite time of the day, by far!
#15
I have really severe chronic depression that intensifies during the winter months. Sometimes I have days where I’ll spiral into this black hole of fear and hopelessness, and my lover will just hold me as tight as he can and tell me how much he loves me and how it’ll be okay. It helps more than I can express, and it’s so comforting to know that he’s seen me in such a vulnerable state and still continues to love me the same. To me, it’s more intimate than any sexual act could be.
#16
There’s always a few moments before we fall asleep where we’ll just lay together, making eye contact. That may sound strange but it always feels super intimate and in a way that nothing needs to be said out loud. You’re just sharing this moment and know that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
#17
He held my hand while they changed my IUD. I hate it and it was awful. He also made sure I was comfortable after and drove me home. Or was the opposite of sexual but in in a way it kind of was since my sexual/reproductive health can effect his.
#19
I pluck my husband's eyebrows. He's really insecure with how his eyebrows look and he trusts me enough to style them for him
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Ilona Baliūnaitė
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