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Women Are Sharing How Male Coworkers Creeped Them Out In 50 Tweets
Interview With Author
Every workplace is a microcosm of society. On the one hand, you have your awesome peeps who can become your best friends. But you also get people who are far from the embodiments of politeness, common sense, and empathy that you’d expect everyone to have. Unfortunately, being high up on the management ladder doesn’t make you immune to this or from harassing employees.
Twitter user Alexis Conklin started up a viral Twitter thread asking women to share the times that their male coworkers and bosses made them uncomfortable. Scroll down and have a read at the weird and creepy interactions, dear Pandas. And if you’re feeling brave, share if you’ve had similar experiences at the workplace in the comment section. Alexis’ thread got more than 72k likes and was retweeted over 95k times at the time of writing. This just goes to show that the discussion she sparked was relevant to a lot of people.
"I started working in the food industry as a server in 2016 just to work my way through college. It has its pros and cons, like every job. The most consistent issue that I saw both in my specific workplace and those that my friends worked in is that more managers than not are inappropriate with staff. This goes for clients, 'regulars' who come in, other positions within the company, etc.," Alexis told Bored Panda.
We also reached out to psychologist Frank McAndrew who told Bored Panda that, to simplify, there are two kinds of guys who make their female colleagues feel uncomfortable, and explained what can be done to make them stop. Read on for our full interviews with Professor McAndrew and Alexis.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Sandy Kavanaugh 5 years ago
Have they not heard of "creating a hostile work environment?". Perhaps your lawyer should introduce it to them. (Assuming you live in the States.)
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Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago
I hope you put the reason for quitting in your notice. You should out them no point in keeping their identity safe. All these predators will not stop until they are outed.
Jenny Pugh 5 years ago
HR exists to protect the company, not the employees...
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Jennifer Sacrison 5 years ago
When I was 16yrs old-18yrs old I worked at Taco Bell and Dairy Queen. Back the sexual harassment wasn't a thing and I was at both jobs. I didn't know how to handle it so I just stayed as far away as I could...I felt dirty and worthless. I wish I had known what to do but in the late 1980's there wasn't really anywhere to go.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Wish I could have advised her. I would have told her, REPEAT HIS QUESTION AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, TWICE. Then ask him loudly where MEN take him to have sex with HIM. As for HR saying they wouldn't do anything, bring it up with the owner of the company or his wife.
Santino Marazzo 5 years ago
Well, I'll tell you in all honesty. Women have done the same thing. I was sexually abused by a women when I was 12.So please don't give me this man crap.
RELATED:
#2
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Women are brought up to support men. Men are brought up to support other men. This is mainly by how we act, it is not something that is taught consciously. Only by consciously trying to create a more equal and inclusive society will we be able to move beyond this. As always, be the change you want to see! It includes VOTING!
Elle Malkamäki 5 years ago
My ex bosses solution to me reporting being sexually assaulted was to close the door between my workspace and his so, and I quote: ‘Now he doesn’t have to look at you anymore!’
#3
Gage Franke 4 years ago
Way to go for standing up to that douchebag. He grabbed your ass without consent. What did he expect to happen?
Fieke Engelen 5 years ago
I think, maybe she did not report him because she had got her revenge and was pretty sure he learnt his lesson
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"Some guys are completely clueless that what they are saying is being received negatively and that it is making women uncomfortable. This can be corrected very quickly by clearly explaining that the comments/questions are uncomfortable and also explaining why they are inappropriate. It is important to do this very early in the relationship, because if it is allowed to continue for a while, suddenly saying something about it becomes awkward. These guys want to make a good impression, and they will change their ways," Professor McAndrew said.
However, he pointed out that the second type of guy is more problematic than the first. "They know they are being rude and they enjoy being the 'bad boy,' and making their coworkers uncomfortable is exactly the point. Ignoring these coworkers completely may work because it takes their fun away, but these guys may ultimately have to be dealt with by actions from the higher-ups," the psychologist explained.
That's why it's important for the staff working at human resources to have procedures in place for dealing with harassment. "If HR is unable or unwilling to step in, it is important for coworkers who are not directly involved to speak up and make it clear that the bad actor risks being socially ostracized from his colleagues if he doesn't clean up his act. It is always unfortunate when the only solution to these problems becomes a legal one."
#4
KombatBunni 5 years ago
Of course it’s okay to share! Nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever..it doesn’t matter what your gender is, harassment is not okay!
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Seriously. Harassment is harassment, regardless of the victim or perpetrator’s gender.
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Malakai 5 years ago
More men need to share their experiences like this--men get harassed, too, not just women, and the idea that it can happen to ANYONE needs to be normalized. Men too often get shamed and harassed even worse for admitting it because of the toxic idea that "it just doesn't happen to men because they aren't weak like women and children" and so often a lot of guys may not come forward about sexual harassment and assault they've experienced. This isn't a women-only experience--it's a VICTIM'S experience.
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
I whole-heartedly agree. However, it is much more common that the victim of sexual harassment is a girl/woman than a boy/man.
Load More Replies... Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Sexual assault is sexual assault. Period. It's not a joke and it's not funny.
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
Too bad you didn’t know who his mother was. I’d have told her in a heart beat. While he was standing there.
Max L. 5 years ago
Had a male coworker who acted assaulting other males coworkers, with no distinctions. Open space freezed when he ironized about a black colleague intimate dimensions, as it was clear he followed him at the urinals for taking measures. Never came out, anyway, and living with his girlfriend who was pretty nervous, guessing he had a double life.
Jennifer Sacrison 5 years ago (edited)
Share away!!! This isn't just a female thing...it happens to males too!!! Thank you for having the balls (no pun intended) to comment here!!! 💚💚
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Men get harassed too. And sometimes ladies can talk or gossip about things that are nsfw. I’ve seen some grossed out men
#5
Bobert Robertson 5 years ago
Wow, a female boss who condones that behaviour is surprising enough, but then to be such a terrible mom on top to put her daughter in a position to have to deal with that too....
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
But she then put her 17 year old daughter in the firing line. She may have been the boss’ kid, but they still could’ve still used (and probably did) their “code” words to harass her. Bad boss, even worse mother.
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Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
She didn't want to have to challenge the behaviour of the rest of the employees, and so she preferred to listen to their excuses including putting the blame on the woman she then fired. She may also have believed that they wouldn't dare to do the same to the boss' daughter.
AnInrovert 5 years ago
She put her DAUGHTER in instead! Not only was it already bad, she’s just giving away her daughter as well! :(
Momma Panda 5 years ago (edited)
The owner is an idiot. I would never put my child in that kind of environment, especially when she's underage
Fieke Engelen 5 years ago
Wow!! Her daughter? What was she expecting/hoping? She is a 'sick' lady
#6
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
I bet that he is one of those idiots who is so entrenched in his sexist views that he doesn't even begin to understand that his behaviour is out of bounds and that these are not compliments, nor that any woman could possibly get upset over being treated like this.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
And, when confronted, says it’s just a joke and you don’t have a sense of humor. And you know, I’ve tried giving them a taste of their own medicine and harassed them back (at what I call “throwaway” part time jobs I’ve taken for extra cash, that were never going on my resume). Guess what? They didn’t like it, it made them feel very uncomfortable around me, and they asked me to stop. That’s when I would re-confront them about their own behavior.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 5 years ago
This guy sounds like a real slimeball. If I was the customer, I would have taken my business elsewhere and let everyone know what is going on in that place.
Z Alexi 5 years ago
"POSSIBLY get upset over being treated like this"? Every chick or chickadee would get infuriated being treated like meat. Women marched 60 yrs ago so guys would stop calling us "girls." Finally, Cosby & Weinstein got ratted out for decades of date-rape..."Me, too" was hatched~~yet some slobs still don't get it & continue to women-hate. Look at women accepting beekeeper suits~~in NYC's blistering summers [May-Oct, thanx climate change], head-to-toe...the Quran orders women's "gaze, gait, garments & genitalia" to be covered~~so that guys won't get hot & hard. A BILLION women get punished 'cuz guys can't control themselves? Thank god I'm an atheist!
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
Agree and bite his f*****g d**k with everything you got. That will change his mind in the future. I know that hurts but some people need it.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Get two pitchers of water, throw them at him while he's working the line, then walk out and find another job.
Alexis stressed the fact that she didn't want to speak negatively about men as a whole or to imply that they're all 'unprofessional.' "The tweet has been taken out of context many times and I regret my word usage because the notion that was implied by many was not my intention," she specified.
"However, in my specific situation, along with other women who I am friends with, it’s been female staff employees and male superiors, coworkers, and clients/'regulars' when it comes to sexual harassment, advances being made, flirting, being made uncomfortable, etc. I realize it is not this way in every situation as well. I would also like to include that I am very much aware men are in the same situation as we are at times and their experiences are just as important as ours," Alexis went into more detail about what her intentions with the Twitter thread were.
She was inspired to create the thread after talking with her other coworkers and friends in the food industry. "I think issues such as these are often swept under the rug and it is a conversation that needs to be talked about. Countless women said they were still made to work with their abuser after coming forward. Some women were fired by the manager who was sexually harassing after standing up for themselves. Some had to quit their jobs just to get out of the situation. All of which are completely unacceptable."
#7
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Yikes. I had a stalker too. You know how you have to be polite to customers? Well, this guy took my politeness as a signal I was interested in him. I even went to work for another company to get away from him. Problem was, a male ex-coworker at my old company f*****g told him where I was working! Needless to say, I went into that office and confronted that ex-coworker about that. Anyway, at least at my new company, I was working in the accounting department, on purpose because their office was very insulated and far from public view. When the receptionist called me to say there was someone asking for me, and I asked her a couple questions to see if it was him—-and it was—-once I filled her in on the details, she told him I was out sick. Once he was gone, she called me and told me she would pass my information on to everyone else up front, so I never have to deal with him. My stalker didn’t stop until he found out I had gotten married.
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
Yeah, it's not just women who get stalked. I had a male friend so freaked out by a guy he didn't want to date following him that we switched cars for a while (I had a car & a truck, so it was like playing "Find David".) He finally had to file a restraining order. My friend had to go to therapy over it. No means no. Just f**k off.
Storm Rise 5 years ago
I'm so sorry James. No one should have to deal with that, and I hope you're safe now.
#8
Joseph Kuhlman 5 years ago
1. By the cfo? Good god! 2. Years?! I no longer have hope for humanity.
I'm A Lazy Panda 5 years ago
I'm just happy he was fired at all, and isn't that sad.
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Brian Burgess 5 years ago
I can't tell you how many women have assaulted me .. then blame for assault when I reject them .. and yeah, it gets legal like .. such a waste
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hope your life is much better now.
#9
Joseph Kuhlman 5 years ago
How do you “accidentally” grab someone from behind? Without falling over, I mean.
Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago
This is horrific. The worse part is that there is the law, and then there is enforcement. H.R. is there to protect the company's interests, not the employee's. I don't think anyone gets these types of situations to stop without a lawsuit, and that requires money. Nine times out of ten, the company has more $ than does the employee who is being harassed, which means there is a big disadvantage for the employee who has the burden of proof put upon them. I went through something similar when a relationship I was in with someone I worked with went south. She kept making complaints trying to get me fired (I broke up with her because she cheated on me with someone she worked with at her second job). Fortunately, people trusted me more than her. Because I worked security for that company we had cameras throughout sensitive places throughout the building. I later saw her trying to make a play for another employee that she worked with in another part of the establishment.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
A good way to deal with being grabbed is to softly place your hand on his hand, work your fingers around his pinkie, then tighten your grip and snap backwards with all your might.
Nancy Lynch 5 years ago
That's when you take it to the press. No one wants that out in the open!
Hakitosama 2 years ago
Why don't people press charges? Even if it leads nowhere, a good scare when the police letter arrives is always good. And again, it leaves a trace, something the cops can retrieve when (not if, when, with those kind of guy it's never a "if") things escalate
Alexis said that she was saddened, surprised, and shocked by the amount of attention her thread got on Twitter recently. She also revealed that she's proud of all the women and men who came forward with their stories. However, she also feels angry on their behalf. "Conversations covering these topics should be discussed more and talked about and brought awareness to."
According to Alexis, there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with 'creepy' coworkers; you have to deal with everyone on a case-by-case basis. "Going to management can work unless it’s the manager acting a certain way to make the employee uncomfortable. Then it’s a gamble with hoping you’re believed by the higher-ups. If it’s a coworker, HR or again a manager. Even then, it’s hoping that it gets taken seriously and a course of action is taken again whomever is being complained about."
She said that her personal experience in the food industry has shown her that she and her colleagues are pretty much left to stand up for themselves with customers, unless they cross the line by causing a scene or grabbing one of the employees.
#10
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Womanizing bastard. I hope his wife is no longer married, at least not to him.
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
It's too bad that she couldn't record his critiques and send a copy to his wife. Wonder how that would go down.
Maggie Dinzler Shaw 4 years ago
Another principal asked most of the women, "If I divorced my wife, would you marry me?"
#11
Samantha Lomb 5 years ago
Those sorts of people still exist. I know professors who women are told not to be alone with. Its an open secret and nothing is done. Usually for the same reason, the publish a lot or attract large classes
Xandra, The Little Hufflepuff 5 years ago
I had a pe teacher whose nickname was Harrassmassen in jr, high, he would tell girls the shorter the shorts, the higher the grade. He is still teaching pe, and now is teaching health as well
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
How is he getting away with it? The one above was a 'major rainmaker' and even Samantha Lomb's person was a publishing professor so presumably bringing in kudos or money (these are still crappy excuses on the parts of the organisations btw) but a PE teacher in junior high? What power is that disgusting person wielding that means they get away with it?
Load More Replies... #12
Jennifer Sacrison 5 years ago
I feel ya!!!! The same for me in the late 1980's...I was 16yrs old-18yrs old. I didn't know where to go or talk to and I just stayed away from them and their comments about unwanted touches. One even had a wife and I mentioned that to him and he said what she doesn't know won't hurt her. I felt worthless and dirty. Hell I still do and I'm 50yrs old now.
Lynn Morello 5 years ago
Such a sad state of affairs where men have been raised to think it is OK to sexually harass women.
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
I am so very sorry! Someone needs to teach a class on how to deal with these kinds of situations. And what to do if nothing is ever done about it.
"With this, I’ve learned that being your biggest advocate is one of the most important things you can be for yourself. When it comes to regulars, I personally feel more outspoken and able to handle the situation on my own. Coworkers are tricky because it makes the overall work environment a dark and complicated one," she explained that things are hardly easy when it comes to colleagues.
"I’ve been lucky enough to have some superiors who I am about to feel comfortable going to but I know for many men and women that isn’t the case. I wish I had a better and more clear cut answer. It’s a messy situation. The first start of finding a solution is discussing the problem, though," Alexis said.
"If there’s anything I could let the men know who are, or have been, made uncomfortable by a woman (or even another man) in the workforce, it would be that their situation is just as important to talk about. I think a lot of men were put off by the tweet and were given the impression that their experience is lesser than, or not as important, which was never my intention."
#13
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Not to mention, possibly ruining the start of the career path of someone who might’ve really benefitted the company.
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lakitha tolbert 5 years ago
This!!! No one should be putting their hands anywhere on your body without your direct permission, or asking first.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
ALWAYS report. If you are physically assaulted or touched, and the company won't do anything, CALL THE POLICE and file a report.
frank kilmore 4 years ago
from these comments you deduce it is 'normal' for sexual suggestion to take place....women just have to deal with it...a poke in the eye, a kick in the balls..that kind of thing
#14
Joonscrab 5 years ago
Yes but it's worse when she's 16 cause it isn't even legal. So she's still a child. And he still did that. GROSS.
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M O'Connell 5 years ago
People who do not respond sincerely to words will often respond to mace.
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago (edited)
Hear, hear! (I am so stealing that comment)
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JustAWeirdoGirlChild 5 years ago
my bf does this, and my ex did too, bc my reactions are funny
Susan Reid Smith 5 years ago
I had a friend who told us he was tickling one of his underage coworkers. My husband pulled up the rules and standards for His company on our computer and sat my friend down in front of that to read!
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
This environment has us teaching our young girls and boys it is NEVER ok, for an adult to touch you in a way that is uncomfortable or on your private areas! And yet, these kids grow up, and are verbally and sexually assaulted by adults that probably taught their daughters and sons the same thing, yet they feel it is ok to do to someone else’s child. The rationale is obscene! No one has the right to touch you or verbally , sexually or physically assault you, ever. Or touch you EVER, without your permission. What is going on ?!
#15
Judith Petree 5 years ago
Here's one for you: was working as an RN and was sexually harassed by Drs. more than once. In one incident, a Dr. chased me around an examining table trying to get his hands on me when the patient was lying there! As a student nurse doing my surgery affiliation, one Dr. with whom I was assigned as scrub nurse kept trying to force his knee between my legs while he was performing a vaginal hysterectomy on the patient. Since we were each crammed between the patient's legs in tight quarters there was no way to escape. If that happened to me today, I might be tempted to do a little surgery on the Dr. if you know what I mean.
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
I hope you played baseball in school because that guy need a hard throw right into his nuts.
ClaudiaDarla03 5 years ago
one of my best friends had some creepy kid, about 15, literally try to take a picture up her skirt AT SCHOOL. She was 14 at the time
Being in a state of “hyper-vigilance” can be mentally exhausting because we’re on the lookout for danger and predators.
While some creeps might be beyond saving (though some would argue that everyone’s capable of redemption), others are simply socially misguided. The latter may have good intentions, but they’re absolutely clueless about how to behave in social settings.
The answer in both cases, then, can be a strong HR team who are willing to mediate any conflicts and provide guidance to any coworkers that need that bit of help to act in a socially acceptable way.
#16
Viviane 5 years ago
You're right to leave a potentially dangerous situation. Write up reports and send them to HR. They might not do anything for a while, but he may eventually be fired if enough complaints reach higher ups. If he's touched anyone in a gross manner, that could be sexual assault.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Yes! Start 👏 the 👏 paper 👏 trail 👏 early 👏
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Quit right now. Just either walk off the job or call them and tell them you’re done. Try to call both HR and this asshole’s boss and tell them everything—-leave no detail out, no matter how embarrassing. You’re probably not the first to quit because of this creep, but if you don’t tell HR it won’t be noted and time stamped, and if you don’t tell his boss, then the creep can continue to corner other young girls to work alone with him—-and one day he will go beyond just “checking out” underage girls. Be strong and save yourself. I wish you the best of luck—there are much better, and safer, jobs out there.
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
Depending on where she is, couldn't she call the police? She is probably considered underage and what he's doing is sexual harassment of a minor. It couldn't hurt to have a police record of this for when he goes too far with her or any other child.
Janee Franklin 5 years ago
If you feel scared and uncomfortable, then I would talk with your parents/guardians and then decide what to do. But whether you quit or not, PLEASE report his behavior to HR. Make sure to include any evidence you have of what he has done--and include as much detail as possible- down to the date and time if you can. If you have any written proof, save it on a non-work platform (flash drive, e-mail them to your personal account, take a pic with your phone), save them as PDFs or pics, and attach them to your HR complaint. If you have an exit interview, go and tell them the truth as to why you are leaving. If you find yourself in a 1:1 situation like that again for some reason, make sure that a)the door is open, b) you are sitting closest to the door so you can get away if needed, and c) ask another colleague to join you or walk by and "check in" during the meeting. If he does something to make him uncomfortable, tell him directly "I DON'T LIKE THAT. PLEASE STOP." Stay safe dear!
Lisa Reuss 5 years ago
Get out. And report him. Never stay where you're not safe. Best case would be to band together with the other girls/women he is harassing and report him, make them fire him. No one should have to quit their job because they are being sexually harassed. HE should have to go. But that usually doesn't happen. Please be careful.
deanna woods 5 years ago
You shouldn't have to be afraid on the job. Go ahead and quit. But also make sure you tell someone about this.
Maria Ribaulo 5 years ago
If you don't complain, how many more young women will he do this to?
#17
Viviane 5 years ago
It's a myth that heterosexual men don't mind any kind of female attention.
Viviane 5 years ago
And by the way, the analogous rule goes for gay people, too.
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Janee Franklin 5 years ago
I'm sorry that happened to you. Unwanted touching, regardless of gender, sex, or orientation, is NEVER okay. Thanks for sharing and I hope you continue to stand up for yourself.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Ask LOUDLY: "WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY HAND?" "WHY DID YOU PINCH MY BUTT?" "STOP DOING THAT!" If you get fired, sue the company.
Valerie Anne 5 years ago
That's awful! Men aren't just perpetrators, they are often the victims and they stay quiet out of fear or shame. The more brave men that speak out, the more the stigma will disappear.
#18
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
The sexual assaulter WAS a woman in this case. It does not say anything about the gender/genders of the people in management who fired her. Maybe you read the post too fast?
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M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
Weird how a woman sexually harassing a male gets fired but the men who harass keep their jobs while the women they harass either quit or get fired. Not that the woman shouldn't be fired, but the men should be as well. It's just wrong...
Hehehehehehehehe 4 years ago
It’s good she was fired but look at how women get fired for this on the spot but most men get nothing. It’s horrible no matter the gender of either person. It should be treated the same.
Anette Fredlund 5 years ago
thats the way s**t like that should be handeled, why is it so hard when a woman tries to get justice!!!!?
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
At least she got fired. I guess most female workers dont have that amount of luck...
#19
TheWitchNaru 5 years ago
To quote Futurama: I don't want to be on this planet anymore.
Load More Replies... #20
Bobert Robertson 5 years ago
I would have printed the company's code of conduct (assuming there was one) and highlighted all the areas that he was violating, and left it on his desk.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
I would’ve taken that printed proof, with his handwriting all over it, to HR. If they did nothing, I’d take it on up the ladder, to the top if necessary. When crap like that crosses the desk of the highest ranking person in a company, it pisses them off that it wasn’t handled correctly at some level below them (Why TF is this on MY desk? Why didn’t their HR rep solve it?), because they know the next step past their desk is a courtroom.
Lisa Chambers 5 years ago
That dunce would have come back to his desk and find the desk and the helpful chart on fire.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Awesome. EVIDENCE! Go to the direct boss. If needed, go over their head. Let them make copies of the offending papers, but keep the originals in your possession.
#21
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Damn that must have made you feel nauseous and lucky to get away at the same time.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
When I think of all the places I’ve lived which turned out to be serial killers’ hunting grounds—-and for women in my particular demographic at the time—-it horrifies me how much I could’ve been one of their victims too. For example, I lived in SoCal as a teenager during the Hillside Strangler, Night Stalker, and Golden State Killer murders of the 1970s—-even lived in the same town as a girl not much younger than me who was murdered by Rodney Alcala. It’s chilling to think about.
#22
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
The sad truth is that all these insecure men who behave like this are also suffering because they will never have a good and fulfilling relationship with any woman in their whole life. Without mutual respect, how would it possible?
Kath Leen 5 years ago
it is not an excuse though. they should respect everyone no matter what.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Probably because his only dates are with “Miss Right” and an old sock. Or “Miss Left” if “Miss Right” is tired.
Jus 5 years ago
The truth is we women can really get nice satisfaction using toys, if we are talking about pure sexual pleasure. Toys are better, bigger and more reliable. Some men think they are irreplaceable in sex life, but it's not true. However, love and relationship are something more and can't be replaced with a toy. My point is: we don't need a creep to satisfy us and they can't give us love and relationship, so they are completely useless in both areas. They should know that.
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
After listening to that stupid comment, I guess I would stick to battery powered. Lasts longer anyway.
Cari Owens 1 year ago
Should have told him a B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend) would be infinitely better than he is.
Cari Owens 2 years ago
OP should have told that guy "At least getting laid by something battery powered would be more satisfying than you."
#23
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
Like a piece of paper is going to stop a piece of shite.
Load More Replies... M O'Connell 5 years ago
Sexual assault and robbery should have been reported to the police, and not to management. Orange jumpsuits have a way of fixing such problems.
ClaudiaDarla03 5 years ago
it really sucks tho that women should be expected to quit their jobs over this... it should be the creep or rapist that gets fired or arrested
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Shelley DuVal 5 years ago
I hate upvoting these notes, cos it feels like I am upvoting the bad guys and what they are doing, and I am really on the right side, but it feels like I am on the wrong side, hope you all understand what I mean.
I just work here 2 years ago
Has anyone here heard of the police? I don't understand these stories. Call the police.
Nora the mistake 0_o 4 years ago
will you kindly tell me where this man live so I can F*****G BEAT THE S**T OUT OF HIM HE IS A BITCH!!!!!
#24
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Yes the kitchen is full of pervs. The one waitress job I had one of the cooks convinced everyone he was going to sleep with me and he could have me if he wanted me. Absolutely not.
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
Maybe stuff a spatular up his ass. That might make him rethink his actions. Just call it "sexually experimenting"
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Repeat the offending question AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, TWICE! That usually stops them. As for the manager being too close, simply say loudly and firmly, "PLEASE STEP AWAY, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE."
Cari Owens 1 year ago
The response to the male coworker's question could have been "Twenty years after you turn to dust."
#25
#26
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
I know things like this are more embarrassing than infuriating when you’re 16. But please, try to encourage all young people working anywhere to always report inappropriate behavior by coworkers—-especially older ones who 1) are flirting with jail and placement on the sexual predators list, and 2) are old enough to f*****g know better!
Roxy Eastland 5 years ago
Sometimes I think these incidents can look innocent or overplayed to men. The test to apply is this: would he have said that to a male employee?
#27
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
I am an older woman, trying hard to get into HR as a second career, who has experienced harassment myself. I would never ignore anyone who came to me and said they were being mistreated, in any way, at work. Somehow I would figure out how to do some kind of surveillance of the situation, so I could either witness or record it. Something to make a strong case to put before management, which would—-hopefully—-stop the behavior. Problem is, the pandemic, plus my being an older person trying to get an entry level HR job to start, are hampering my attempts. I’ll get there, but it’s frustrating right now.
EA 5 years ago
When I tried to report my former boss for sexual harassment and bullying, he told the company directors I had mental health issues and had made it all up in my head. One of said directors then called me into a meeting to tell me they couldn’t take my allegations seriously because I was “an unreliable witness”.
Hakitosama 2 years ago
That's the moment when you say "ho... I suppose I will need to escalate this and get lawyers involved them" usually, you won't even have to. HR is scared of bad publicity
#28
Kimberly Young 5 years ago
Is forcibly removing a hijab considered assault? If not, it should be!
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
I think it might fall under hate crimes, but it should be considered sexual assault, as well.
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Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
Try stuffing it down his throat. He'll see you without the Hijab and you get rid of him. I bet Allah is making an exception. A muslim once told me a story about Muhammad who told a man to scrape out his eyes if they caused him to sin because a female herself is never a sin and if you cant contain yourself, you are the problem.
Shelley DuVal 5 years ago
OMG, WTF, this is so wrong in so many different ways. I know how important it is to not show your hair.
Storm Rise 5 years ago
What an utter bastard! Try that, and I'll wrap a chair around your head! Grrrrrrrrrrr!
Hakitosama 2 years ago
Put pins, a lot of pins, through your veil... That should send the message loud and clear
#29
Bobert Robertson 5 years ago
That's because your "friend" was also making inappropriate comments in the group chat
Curry on... 5 years ago
The 'friend' was probably testing her to see if she was the willing type.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Call the police, make a report, let them fire you, then take it to court and the news.
#30
Victoria 5 years ago
Can you imagine, haha?? Q: "How'd you to meet?" ..... A: "It was love at first d**k pic!!!"
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TheDemonUnderYourBed 5 years ago
Men send d**k pics thinking it makes us horny. It just throws us off and make us disgusted. If you see this and you send d**k pics; Shame. On. YOU.
OdangaUsagi 5 years ago
FYI to everyone, Snaps don't just "disappear". There is always a record.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Contact the police. Doesn't matter if you're over 18, it's still sexual assault.
#31
KombatBunni 5 years ago
I would have kneed the bastard in the crotch three times and told him I was being funny..what an a$$hole 🤬
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
She was 16 and he was her manager and in his 50s. I think that what you say you would have done is what we all tell ourselves that we ought to have done, after not having 'done' anything.
Load More Replies... Cari Owens 1 year ago
If he said "I was trying to be funny" just ask him to explain the joke because you've obviously missed something.
Hakitosama 2 years ago
After the first time : smack both ears, hands flat, no need to put strength. Trust me he could be John Cena he'll lend on his back
Nora the mistake 0_o 4 years ago
what is the same thing and thing like all I'm sorry I was just being 'funny' bitch
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
I got picked up like that in high school by a classmate. I didn't ask nicely. I went limp and we both tumbled to the floor. My friend rescued me and he slipped away embarrassed. He had been trying to be funny too, but you do not just grab people.
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
I had a manager that would flip up my skirt with the menus. I used to put tabasco or salt in his coffee for revenge. And smack him really hard and tell him he was a bad dog, in front of customers, when he flipped my skirt.
#32
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
I would’ve said “You talk to your mother with that foul mouth?” See, if he complains about me being insubordinate, I can tell HR/the big bosses exactly why I said it, and make him and the other foul mouths squirm, having to explain exactly what they were saying and doing to make it happen.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Where is this? The manager probably doesn't own the company. MAKE IT MESSY for the manager and those who stood around and did nothing.
Nora the mistake 0_o 4 years ago
but the thing is would or do they treat their daughters like this you know what i but they do assholes
Joanne Hudson 5 years ago
Doesn't anyone have a MOM who would come in and confront the d**k? Who wants to explain to a mom why you are being inappropriate in the workplace? Or Dad.
#33
Bobert Robertson 5 years ago
Lol what? You thought nothing of it? I would not be able to do anything but think something of it.
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
It is called denial. He tried to minimize the implications and the horrible insult in order to protect himself psychologically.
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Lynn Morello 5 years ago
Picking up the nearest chair and landing it on his sack as hard as possible. Explain that one to ED.
#34
togcrewsc 5 years ago
sometimes its fine if u say u r if it gets them off ur back. ive had to do that a ton (and im pan so) but i trly am dating another girl rn
KoalaLa 5 years ago
I tried that, the basic response then is: "That's because you haven't had good d**k yet, I'll turn you straight"
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Correct answer: "That's none of your business but I'm sure that YOU are a pervert."
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
I was once asked why I didnt want to f**k him. I said he's not my kind of guy. Called me a fake homo and started talking s**t about me to my coworkers. I'm bisexual with no kink for people with exteme sadistic tendencies and such of view on the world. Good our work companionship didnt last long.
Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago
you should have asked "before or after they ate the apple" because after they ate the apple they sewed clothes out of leaves
TheWitchNaru 5 years ago
Men: Hay baby, you should f**k me and suck my d**k! Women: Not interested. You're gross. Men: You must be a dyke. *continues to verbally abuse the woman for not wanting to f**k him.*
Lisa Shelton 5 years ago
Some guy said that to me once. I told him I wasn't but if he was the only other option then I would certainly become one.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
No shame. I think many women will proudly say that to stop the harassment
#35
Lisa Reuss 5 years ago
Anyone who thought that was "funny and harmless" is either (a) not your friend, (b) protecting their own job, or (c) doing it, too. Tell someone who will listen.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Let me guess. They all told you it wouldn’t harm you to be nice to him. Don’t they understand that YES it f*****g WOULD harm me?!?! You should sic him on one of them, and see how they like it.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Tell him to stop. Tell him to leave you alone. Keep a diary of everything that happened: time, date, location, EXACTLY what went down and was said, and who was there, and that you told him to stop. After a few of those incidents, you can file a restraining order with police.
#36
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
She didn't want to make him feel bad .... *sigh* Yeah. Women are brought up to support men. Men are brought up to support other men. Teach your daughters that they have the right to stand up for themselves!
Viviane 5 years ago
One of my teenage nieces has been fortunate with her parents, so she'd have no compunction about standing up for herself. I wish more children were taught "my body, my rules" and that girls don't have an obligation to accommodate the feelings of those who cross boundaries.
Load More Replies... Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
Unfortunately many women seem to be like that. I guess they were raised to just take and take and take... Thats horrible. If I'm allowed to say "f**k off" so should women.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
F**k him feeling bad. He obviously didn’t care about making you feel bad. We need to train all our kids to recognize and call out inappropriate behavior by adults—-sexual predators, actually—-who should know better!
Rhonda Lemoine 2 years ago
We were taught that boys will be boys. Smile and be polite and don’t hurt their feelings. I found myself in some pretty awful situations because I didn’t know how to stand up for myself without making them feel bad.
Shelley DuVal 5 years ago
I told my daughters to not put up with this sort of behaviour, I hope they knee'd the guy if they had to.
#37
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
If you've been sent porn by senior staff you have the tangible evidence of sexual harassment. Report them to HR and the police. If that fails put it on social media. "Hey guys, I'd like to share a message mr.Jones from accounting sent me today."
Ann Eft 2 years ago
That’s fine and she may well have done exactly that but the real point is that it happened At EVERY SINGLE job. Women have to repeatedly spend emotional energy fighting off creeps.
Load More Replies... Lisa Reuss 5 years ago
Men have absolutely zero idea what it is like to be a woman in the workplace. None. This is so commonplace, and all these posts make me want to scream and cry. Not that men don't also get harassed, but women are harassed every day, at work, at school, in stores, on the street. Not every woman every day, but many women every day.
Nora the mistake 0_o 4 years ago
he'll probably just use the excuse oh well he's old he's a know what he's doing ugg
Brian Burgess 5 years ago
I basically don't trust any message at all these days (including you all) .. being blamed for things I have NEVER done is enough to stop all interaction with females for me
#38
Rosecat 1 year ago
One male coworker did this to me too at an old job. He asked me out and I told him I was married (true). He didn't care. I was talking with a manager once and he came up to me and "pretended" to take pictures of me. He only left when then manager death glared at him. He would also check my schedule and tell me he was "worried" about me if I was a bit late, asked my Instagram and I told him I didn't have one (lie), he looked over my shoulder at my phone screen during my break and said "You do have Facebook, can I add you in Facebook?", he would always try to take
#39
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Yeah, I’ve often wondered what makes some employees—-usually the worst ones—-so Teflon-coated. Relative? Lover? Blackmailer? Connected?
Raine Soo 5 years ago
Yes, I agree. Nothing sticks to these bad employees. They just keep hanging around, and around, and around.
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#40
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
Sorry for that, but at least he got fired. Doesnt the USA have a sexual preditor website or something? They should be put on there.
#41
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
In the Netherlands this is considered computer hacking, punishable with 1 year in prison. On a side note: It's really stupid to have those pictures on a phone that you haven't secured with a password or something. Wisest thing would be to never take any nudes.
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Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Hate to say this, as I know it’s against the concept of freedom and privacy, but it’s a good idea to move those pictures off your phone. Keep them somewhere secure that can’t be accessed anywhere but where YOU want them to be. I know it should be that way, but until that kind of invasion and harassment is considered a crime at the most and a fireable offense at the least, it’s just a good, practical idea.
Jennifer Sacrison 5 years ago
If this happened when you're 18yrs and younger that's being in possession of child porn. Report his ass to the police!!!
Jan De Boey 5 years ago
Well... I've survived up until now without the necessity of nude pics of myself on my phone. And how would the guy know that there are any on her phone specifically. Doesn't seems to be the complete story here. Behaviour of that guy is inexcusable, but lets not make this a man bashing contest
#42
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
And not a single one of them with the balls to say it's no good? I doubt it.
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Brian Burgess 5 years ago
is it ok for women to do this? .. its ok for them for flirt but not for the boys too? .. how far is this question going to go? ... I never do or say anything lewd .. but SOME still get creeped .. millenials and zoomers in particular
Katelin Stach 4 years ago (edited)
Uh, honestly Brian, men are ALWAYS, 99.9% of the time the ones who take s**t way too far, say things in the most disrespectful manner possible, and dont stop when asked to stop, or dont get the polite hint. I've never seen a woman say s**t like when men bend over to pick something up like, "oh mama Adam, you shouldn't be allowed to wear those pants!," and women dont stare at a man's crotch constantly for long periods of time, and dont continue doing it after the man in question gives her a disgusted look or something. Men do that s**t, in fact, I have a male coworker doing all those things to me now. He waited by my car for an hour and a half 2 days ago, backed up his car so drivers doors were facing eachother, and then kept trying to talk to me as I was getting in my car. Women flirt, and as for myself, I'm very open minded about sex, I can take a joke, and I know men and women look at eachother. But theres no excuse to make anyone feel uncomfortable at work, and to continue making unwanted advances
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#43
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
Why do so many men only let go if there is a boyfriend? Like wtf, her rejection isnt worth s**t but a (sometimes fictional) boyfriend makes them f**k off?
Rosecat 1 year ago
Sometimes not even then. I told a guy I was engaged, and he said "He doesn't have to know"🤡
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Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Good, and I hope they give a heads up to every place he applies for afterward.
#45
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Yeah, but aspirin won’t get your d**k cut off by a group of my friends and relatives. Unless you actually want to sing soprano.
#46
Jane Doe 5 years ago
There was a letter like this on Ask a Manager. A guy wrote in to say that in a spurt of anger he said this to a young, new female employee. His question, "I know I have to apologize...I shouldn't have yelled." Oh, OK.
Roxy Eastland 5 years ago
Would he have said 'it's a good job you're handsome!' to a male worker? If so, then fair enough. But I suspect he'd never dream of it.
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Diane Herman 5 years ago
This one is not that bad.....it's actually a saying that has been around forever. I would not take it as harassment. My family has been saying it to each other jokingly for years when we do something stupid.
#47
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
“Overly friendly” to other girls and you means inappropriately “friendly”. Gather evidence, record when, how, and to whom, and report it to HR. The store has security cameras, so if you give them dates and times, they can back it up with video proof. Be quick about it, though, because most security cameras only store video for anywhere between three days and one month.
Misty Marie 5 years ago
Remember that HR is there to protect the company, not the employee.
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Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Starbucks has a very stringent anti-harassment policy, which you should have read and signed during training. It includes how to report an incident and that a written incident form should be filled out and filed by the manager with HR. If policy is not followed, the manager could be terminated for failure to follow policy.
Roxy Eastland 5 years ago
If he's only doing it with the females and not the males it is sexual. It's that straight forward.
#48
Katrina B. 5 years ago
Yep! I had a cut on my wrist, with a bandage over it and a customer asked if I tried to commit suicide
Raine Soo 5 years ago
In the past, I have had male clients boast about their sexual escapades with their girlfriends (assuming they actually had girlfriends). Now, I can take a spicy joke, but I drew the line, and said "Dude, that's too much information. We're done here." And, then I got "If you ever tire of your boyfriend, you know where to find me." "Sorry, but I'm not going to hell."
Lisa Reuss 5 years ago
No, you don't. You are not a slave; your boss doesn't own you. Also, the customer is NOT always right. That's bullshit. Don't be polite. That is the worst thing we teach girls.
Lynn Korbel 5 years ago
Ya know? This crap of "having to be polite" makes us victims. Yesterday, I had a client be incredibly rude, (not sexually) to me and I dished it right back. I'm 77 and still working full time. I just won't put up with it anymore. My co-worker was looking astounded at me and I said, right in front of the asshole, 'I won't put up with it." I was hoping to inspire her to not put up with it either. *I* called the office and asked to be taken off the case immediately.
#49
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
That’s why I go to the gym in comfortable, loose-fitting, somewhat worn out workout clothes no makeup, hair pulled back off my neck and out of my face. I’m there to exercise, not flirt, so leave me TF alone, creep.
Maria Ribaulo 5 years ago
You should be able to wear whatever you want and not be harrassed.
Load More Replies... Eggwithaleg 4 years ago
Oh No ShE'S WeArInG SoMeThInG tHaTs CoMfOrTaBlE To WoRk OuT iN? ShE sHoUlD gEt FiReD!
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
"THAT IS AN INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT. DO NOT MAKE COMMENTS LIKE THAT, IT IS UNPROFESSIONAL AND MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE."
#50
Bobert Robertson 5 years ago
I mean, a baby is a special thing, I can't speak for them, but this one doesn't seem as bad as the others, unless he continued pushing it. Still not appropriate to question if someone is pregnant at work.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
No, it’s just as bad. A boss should never ever speculate about an employee’s possible pregnancy. It’s an invasion of privacy and none of their business until the employee tells them herself—-and even then if she asks for the boss’ discretion, her request should be strictly honored. She should be the one to tell people if she wants to, even if she’s already showing.
Load More Replies... Viviane 5 years ago
If you already mentioned that you had a medical issue, there was no reason for him to ask if you were pregnant. Plus, being pregnant is not "a stomach disease" -- maybe he thinks babies literally grow in the digestive system, safely protected by stomach acid.
Lea S. 2 years ago
I had a pregnancy scare working at a child care as a young twenty-something. The boss and I had been super friendly and when she caught me crying in my car after work, I told her what was going on. The next day during my break I left to get a pregnancy test, and realized I had gotten my period. I went back to work, thanked her, and said everything was fine. She responded with how I shouldn't hop on every guy I meet. I was so shocked and hurt and I haven't trusted a boss since. I'd been in a long term relationship for almost ten years, and we used protection.
Josey Griffin 5 years ago
Omg, cannot believe the sexual harrasment these women went through. Some very young girls. Disgusting that men think they have the right to treat women like this. And other men.
Luttjetrut 5 years ago
A group of male collegues once asked me if I was willing to wear a vibriting egg during work whilst they would keep hold of the remote control.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Did you provide a doctor's note or notify the supervisor in advance of your condition? It's not out of line to ask about pregnancy.
#51
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Man, now that I’m an older woman, if I saw something like that, I would be banging on that door and hollering loudly. See, creeps hate being loudly and publicly called out for their behavior. And I LOVE loudly and publicly calling them out. Makes up for all the same crap that happened to me when I was young—- before I stopped being scared and embarrassed and started being pissed off and ready to do something about it.
#52
AnInrovert 5 years ago
‘Easier to rape’!?!?!? Does he not know that that’s well.... umm..., i dunno..... ILLEGAL!
#53
phantom buni 5 years ago
You know...there’s a documentary called talk show murder that has this great quote: “ The Gay panic defense (basically a defense used in court saying it’s not the homophobic guy’s fault that he flew into a rage and killed a homosexual victim) is not fair at all. If a woman killed a man whenever he hit on her, that would be murder. How is that different from the Gay Panic defense? The law is to prevent murders, not excuse the murderer.” I think it’s great, because if we had a Sexual Harassment defense, the world would be better. Am I just a dumb woman?
deanna woods 5 years ago
You are a not a dumb woman and I think that this law would change things tremendously.
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#55
TheWitchNaru 5 years ago
I once worked at a Mexican restaurant in southern Illinois. My one coworker was being harassed by the cooks who would pantomime sexual acts with the food at her and wink and ask her about her body in Spanish. The manager did nothing.
Monty Is Fiennes 5 years ago
Definitely in a professional workspace.....Yes...
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#59
#61
deanna woods 5 years ago
It's like creeps know when they have met another creep and they defend each other.
#63
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Sorry? Sounds like BS. How you can sue someone for not having any reasons to fire them?
JessRS 5 years ago
Sounds like she didn't explain herself well, but what I get is that she was threatened with legal action for defamation, since they couldn't fire her.
Load More Replies... Eggwithaleg 4 years ago
It kills me when people are like this. How come someone can do something horrible to a person and the victim is the one who gets blamed? Society is sometimes unacceptable. The abuser or suspect is just dismissed with some pathetic excuse!
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
I wanna see what they'd like to sue her for. I think "They're my childs Ex and I dont like her" doesnt count in court.
#64
#66
deanna woods 5 years ago
Why do people think that it's normal to behave this way?Being weird is not going to get these anywhere except hopefully prison.
#67
AnInrovert 5 years ago
This one isn’t exactly about sexual harassment, but it’s still absolutely HORRIBLE
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
I had a job where the boss continually suggested it would be ok to sleep with him. And, I kid you not, his wife came into the office and told me I had her permission. I was totally mortified for myself and for her. They're still happily married so I guess it works for them. Oh I didn't by the way!
Dippin Dot 5 years ago
The original question was directed at ladies who work for men, but I was happy to see that men chimed in, because it can happen to ANYONE. I have many stories from my first job at 15 at a pool to now, at 37 years old.
Jo Choto 5 years ago
This is absolutely heartbreaking to read all the young men and women who are being harassed, victimized and assaulted by "professionals" and that still they are getting away with it. I guess I had hoped things had really changed since I feel like things improved from my parents' generation to mine. It's important to speak out about these things, because I think everyone is afraid it's only happening to them. For myself, I think the biggest challenge is when I worked in an all male environment, as in, I was the only female on that whole floor. It was in the newspaper and publishing house. There was a story about a woman who had been raped. The sub-editor announced loudly that he didn't understand what the problem was about being raped, because women were basically designed to have penises put in their vaginas, so why was it an issue? This in full audience of all the men on the floor, and me. If you're interested in what I did about it, vote me up and I'll tell y'all.
Si 5 years ago
Im guessing, nothing. But tell us what you wished you did.
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Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
As a guy, I regularly get asked to interact with customers in the stead of my female coworkers. “Aragorn, you wanna take that guy’s order? It’s the pervert again.”
Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago (edited)
Same at my workplace. We work with a lot of regular customers so we know who's what. If we see perves coming we make sure only males are "available" for them. And females return the favor with taking care of once we feel uncomfortable with.
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Robin DJW 5 years ago
I was a server in a Mexican restaurant. A customer grabbed my boob so I "accidentally" dumped a plate of red chili enchiladas onto his suit. He made a big nasty scene and called for the manager. My manager (bless his golden old heart) came over and told him that he saw what happened. He told the jerk to pay his bill and get out before he called the cops. This was in 1971 and I have ever stopped being grateful to him. So there are good guys out there, and always have been. That said, I know there are many twisted creeps out there. Fight back whenever you can.
Cassizu 5 years ago
There was a PE teacher who made us lay with our feet facing him when doing sit ups. He had a really hard time speaking to girls without glancing down and getting red and sweaty and he always watched their butts. He had this way of speaking to us that was all in-your-face and whispery. We were twelve. I REPEAT: WE. WERE. TWELVE. I reported this to the principal (who was a woman) and she did NOTHING.
Sara Rosen 5 years ago
As a waitress, I can't count the number of times men made sexual or degrading comments aimed at me and other female staff. But the worst of all was when the restaurant owner (in his 60s?) came up behind me, while I was waiting for the customer's drinks at the bar, shoved his hands down the back of my pants, grabbed my panties, and pulled up. He laughed, the bartender laughed, his sleazy friend laughed. Apparently I was the one who couldn't take a joke. I was 18. I was raised "not to complain" and hadn't unlearnt that lesson yet, so I just bit my lip and finished my shift. Quit that week though.
Aunt Messy 5 years ago
I was once fired for fighting back when a coworker tried to rape me. I thought it was a reasonable deal, since my erstwhile rapist still has the scars on his face from where I scratched him. NEVER let your kids work in restaurants.
Julie 5 years ago (edited)
I feel completely fortunate and alarmingly solitary when I say that from the age of 15 to today, age 50, that not once have I been harassed or in anyway mistreated by any male co-workers I have had. Even when I was the only female (among about 20 men) working at a boat marina at one point. It saddens me that more women can not say this.
Viviane 5 years ago
Much appreciated. Some fortunate women are very empathetic. Some are understanding up to a point. I felt pretty frustrated when two women told me "you have to educate" my dozen or so male colleagues. They worked in the theology department in a large university whereas I worked in a small ad agency. Not quite the same recourses...
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DC 5 years ago
I just wonder ... has anyone ever succeeded by being creepy and invasive? Has any guy ever scored (like Beavis and Butt-Head call it) by sending out d**k pics and stuff? Ever? Anywhere? Why do they even try? Male, female, isn't the point ... it's the stupidity in this behaviour that stunns me most...
Jos Tiguidou 5 years ago (edited)
The d**k picks I think yes. You can find videos about Tinder conversations on the very subject. Really depends on how good looking the guy is I think. I mean if both people were already down to smash, it works. If you send it to enough people one is bound to reciprocate...that's basically the 'dark side' of online dating. You have SO many options that doesn't matter if it doesn't work on the first try. Try again and again until it does.
Load More Replies... Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
I had a job where the boss continually suggested it would be ok to sleep with him. And, I kid you not, his wife came into the office and told me I had her permission. I was totally mortified for myself and for her. They're still happily married so I guess it works for them. Oh I didn't by the way!
Dippin Dot 5 years ago
The original question was directed at ladies who work for men, but I was happy to see that men chimed in, because it can happen to ANYONE. I have many stories from my first job at 15 at a pool to now, at 37 years old.
Jo Choto 5 years ago
This is absolutely heartbreaking to read all the young men and women who are being harassed, victimized and assaulted by "professionals" and that still they are getting away with it. I guess I had hoped things had really changed since I feel like things improved from my parents' generation to mine. It's important to speak out about these things, because I think everyone is afraid it's only happening to them. For myself, I think the biggest challenge is when I worked in an all male environment, as in, I was the only female on that whole floor. It was in the newspaper and publishing house. There was a story about a woman who had been raped. The sub-editor announced loudly that he didn't understand what the problem was about being raped, because women were basically designed to have penises put in their vaginas, so why was it an issue? This in full audience of all the men on the floor, and me. If you're interested in what I did about it, vote me up and I'll tell y'all.
Si 5 years ago
Im guessing, nothing. But tell us what you wished you did.
Load More Replies... Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
As a guy, I regularly get asked to interact with customers in the stead of my female coworkers. “Aragorn, you wanna take that guy’s order? It’s the pervert again.”
Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago (edited)
Same at my workplace. We work with a lot of regular customers so we know who's what. If we see perves coming we make sure only males are "available" for them. And females return the favor with taking care of once we feel uncomfortable with.
Load More Replies... Robin DJW 5 years ago
I was a server in a Mexican restaurant. A customer grabbed my boob so I "accidentally" dumped a plate of red chili enchiladas onto his suit. He made a big nasty scene and called for the manager. My manager (bless his golden old heart) came over and told him that he saw what happened. He told the jerk to pay his bill and get out before he called the cops. This was in 1971 and I have ever stopped being grateful to him. So there are good guys out there, and always have been. That said, I know there are many twisted creeps out there. Fight back whenever you can.
Cassizu 5 years ago
There was a PE teacher who made us lay with our feet facing him when doing sit ups. He had a really hard time speaking to girls without glancing down and getting red and sweaty and he always watched their butts. He had this way of speaking to us that was all in-your-face and whispery. We were twelve. I REPEAT: WE. WERE. TWELVE. I reported this to the principal (who was a woman) and she did NOTHING.
Sara Rosen 5 years ago
As a waitress, I can't count the number of times men made sexual or degrading comments aimed at me and other female staff. But the worst of all was when the restaurant owner (in his 60s?) came up behind me, while I was waiting for the customer's drinks at the bar, shoved his hands down the back of my pants, grabbed my panties, and pulled up. He laughed, the bartender laughed, his sleazy friend laughed. Apparently I was the one who couldn't take a joke. I was 18. I was raised "not to complain" and hadn't unlearnt that lesson yet, so I just bit my lip and finished my shift. Quit that week though.
Aunt Messy 5 years ago
I was once fired for fighting back when a coworker tried to rape me. I thought it was a reasonable deal, since my erstwhile rapist still has the scars on his face from where I scratched him. NEVER let your kids work in restaurants.
Julie 5 years ago (edited)
I feel completely fortunate and alarmingly solitary when I say that from the age of 15 to today, age 50, that not once have I been harassed or in anyway mistreated by any male co-workers I have had. Even when I was the only female (among about 20 men) working at a boat marina at one point. It saddens me that more women can not say this.
Viviane 5 years ago
Much appreciated. Some fortunate women are very empathetic. Some are understanding up to a point. I felt pretty frustrated when two women told me "you have to educate" my dozen or so male colleagues. They worked in the theology department in a large university whereas I worked in a small ad agency. Not quite the same recourses...
Load More Replies... DC 5 years ago
I just wonder ... has anyone ever succeeded by being creepy and invasive? Has any guy ever scored (like Beavis and Butt-Head call it) by sending out d**k pics and stuff? Ever? Anywhere? Why do they even try? Male, female, isn't the point ... it's the stupidity in this behaviour that stunns me most...
Jos Tiguidou 5 years ago (edited)
The d**k picks I think yes. You can find videos about Tinder conversations on the very subject. Really depends on how good looking the guy is I think. I mean if both people were already down to smash, it works. If you send it to enough people one is bound to reciprocate...that's basically the 'dark side' of online dating. You have SO many options that doesn't matter if it doesn't work on the first try. Try again and again until it does.
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