531Kviews
50 Times Women Were Put Into Awkward Situations By Men And Called Them Out Online
Dating and relationships are difficult even on a good day. And good days are pretty rare. Unfortunately, that is the reality everyone lives in when navigating the romantic world. Especially women. But at least they have a place to vent.
The subreddit r/FemaleDatingStrategy has 175K members (or as it calls them, queens), constantly discussing their love lives, and that includes all the nonsense that arises too. Continue scrolling and check out what they have to say.
This post may include affiliate links.
Men Only Bringing The Audacity, Yet Again, To The Table!
Took me a sec to realize it, but good going. You have to consider yourself first.
To help you get a better understanding of these posts, Bored Panda got in touch with dating coach, 2 million view TED speaker, and media personality Hayley Quinn. She believes that "dating is different for men and women. However, you'd be wrong to think that one gender has it easy."
"Instead men and women often face equal and opposite problems to one another," Quinn said. "Guys might struggle to think of how to approach a woman, and women (who traditionally and maybe wrongly) have been told they can't make the first move and so panic over where they can find all the guys that want to approach them."
Say It Louder For The People In The Back!!
Poetic Justice
In the world of online dating, Quinn also sees noticeable disparities. "Guys may feel like they're having to move heaven and earth to get one lousy response from a woman, whilst women can feel overwhelmed and harassed by unsuitable suitors," she explained. "Men could usually learn from women that they need to have higher standards for the women they interact with, and women could take a leaf out of men's dating and learn how they too can be proactive."
Some Men Need To Learn This
This goes for everybody. Treat others the way you want to be treated
“Nudes?” He Asked Hopefully
In 2020, the Pew Research Center surveyed Americans to find out more about their love life. While single-and-looking men and women reported equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date, women were more likely to say they have had some particularly negative experiences.
Most women who were single and looking to date (65%) said they have experienced at least one of six harassing behaviors asked about in the survey from someone they were dating or had been on a date with, such as being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable or rumors being spread about their sexual history.
Oops
When you made an effort and treated her well and when you just stopped.
Stop Normalizing Men’s Immaturity
"Though men might think women have guys queuing up to date them (which sounds great right?) in reality women face plenty of dating challenges," Quinn said. "They may feel emotionally drained by dating, as they push through dates where they don't feel a connection. If they're seeking a relationship they may struggle to tell which guy's going to be in for the long haul, and who will disappear at the first inkling of commitment. They may even not know how to get offline and actually meet men in real life; and get stuck in the belief that all the 'good men' have run out, and it's impossible to meet someone."
The dating coach added that women also face significantly more judgement around things like their age, which can be a challenge on dating apps; and more scrutiny for expressing their sexuality. "So don't think that just because she's got a queue of potential suitors that she's not having a hard time dating."
We all can be douches to one another. Let's not.
That Really Puts It In Perspective
And it's always on us, don't dress that way, don't walk there, don't provoke. When it happens we didn't fight enough, fought too hard, didn't say no, didn't mean it when we said it. If we report it we get blamed, re traumatized by questions and rape kits that are then left untouched, called liars.
Yes! People need to stop telling girls and women to dress a certain so they don't provoke assault, and instead teach boys and men that rape and sexual assault are disgusting and teach them that women are people too and don't want this happening to them!
Load More Replies...
There are multiple different definitions of rape. I have sen numbers ranging from 1 in 4 to 1 in 10. (25% to 10%) The 1 in 4 number uses a definition that if it is applied to men, means that 1 in 8 men have been raped. (I.e. the same survey that came up with the 1 in 4 women was given to men and 1 in 8 men met the same criteria). The honest truth is we do not know how many women are raped, in part because women are ashamed of having been the victim of such a horrendous crime.
I know one friend who has been raped. Which is more than enough. I know one friend who has been assaulted. But wheN I speak to friends/relatives who 'don't understand what what all the fuss is about these days it didn't happen when I was younger' well guess what, uncles, teachers, etc.it all comes out of the woodwork.
I was sexually harrased by a customer at work. I finally complained to my male manager and I was blamed for being 2 friendly. I work reception and greet and assist every customer. I showed the man no personal interest. The managers insisted it was my fault.
I am so sorry. If possible, go to your state's (if in the US) Employment Dept and file a complaint against the company and be specific on naming the culprits
Load More Replies...
It happens to most of us at least once thanks to the lovely date rape drug(s), which is why I have stomped into my 15 yr old daughter's head to never leave a drink unattended and don't ever trust a drink some guy brings you who isn't a very close friend or someone you've been dating. I've been burned a few times
My woman's intuition has helped me many times. Don't ignore yours, girls!
And 1 out of 3 will be sexually assaulted. That means of your of your mom, sister and wife, one will be attacked. And don't get me started on the mental abuse that is Purity Culture in so many of the religions ....
A member from my extended family took her teenage daughter to a gynecologist to get a prescription for the morning-after pill, because she was in a school exchange program and was about to travel abroad. The pill was purchased in order to ‚help’ the daughter in case she got raped and then wouldn’t have to give birth to a baby from rape. I mean… isn’t that sad? Shouldn’t the mother send her daughter to learn karate or buy her a pocket knife or teach her how to scare the potential attacker off, like scream, pee herself or kick them hard in the balls? Why giving the impression that there is nothing to be done to prevent this?
Jaws made us fear sharks. There's no real substance to it. Men on the other hand......
Take ALL guns away from MEN and have ALL WOMEN armed. Road rage and robberies are men packing guns. Women would sort out ALL violence in a few days -- domestic, felonies, battery, abuse, justice. Come on, gals!
1 out of 6 women, during their lifetime. These are based on the US Department of Justice statistics. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem.
Load More Replies...
Were you planning on providing any proof that this statistic had been disproven? Or do you just want to spread misinformation?
Load More Replies...
Oh Frank, you have so desperately missed the point. If your first instinct is the question the statistics rather than be horrified by what women deal with, then you're part of the problem.
Load More Replies...
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem The 1 in 6 statistics are based on the National Crime Victimization Study, by the Justice Department.
Load More Replies...
You call BS based on ...what? Next time you go to a family gathering, look around. Some of your family members have been raped, and you just don't know it. I was raped as a teenager and didn't tell anyone for 35 years. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem The 1 in 6 statistics are based on the National Crime Victimization Study, by the Justice Department.
Load More Replies...
that is wrong, wrong wrong. I know NO statsticians who have considered those numbers impossible. And i work with them.
Load More Replies...
Citation please. But yes, I'll agree that rape sucks.
Load More Replies...
i'm not sure where you got the "liberal" part involved. personal safety is a right for all, not just one political side.
Load More Replies...
Lol
Agree entirely and this is one of the reasons I hate Disney movies
Shrug
100% True For Me
I feel a drop off interest on men (thanks a lot) when I say my husband is a police officer or a jujitsu master.
A Queen Grandmama
Cracks Me Up Every Time
They Will Always Make “Single Mothers” The Villains To Shift Blame From Male Predators Or Male Parental Child Neglect
Speaks For Itself
Perfect Way To Deal With Their “Jokes”
Be A Hvm In All Aspects Of Life
I always support the allies, reminding them how much I value them.
How Many Of You “Developed” Issues While In A Relationship? I’ll Go First: Depression And Anxiety. Cured As Soon As We Broke Up
Hvm Right There. Take Note Scrotes
Nothing But Truth
i'm just going to assume that most here are Americans, being from denmark myself i have been to parties (in denmark) sitting or standing next to a few women and they end up talking sex good and bad experiances partners and so on and never have i thought anything shaming about them but good for them that they have been curious and learned a few things like one i remember very clearly when trying a**l ALWAYS remember lube and lots of it and take time, most of this shaming comes from bad parenting and trying to be the cool/alpha male, bad boy, and for my part korrect if some guy i knew started to brag about rape i would not shame him he would (maybe) wake up in the hospital at some point.
Where Is The Lie?
Being Decent Isn’t Difficult
Geee I Wonder Why
This Almost Makes Me Want To Redownload Dating Apps To Do The Same!
Even A 35 Yo Man Has These Same Meltdowns But They're The Logical Sex!!!
Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted To
The Message
Mom Praising Son-In-Law For The Bare Minimum
My husband stayed with our kids as infants while I worked. Everyone went on and on about how amazing he was (and he was) but then we switched roles this past year and I hear how “lucky I am to GET to stay home” and how bad they feel he works long hours. B****! I pumped breast milk on the floor of a unisex bathroom while still taking phone calls.
Why Are Males?
Leave Him In The Dust
This Is Why We Can’t Even Trust The “Good” Guys
Keep Your Friends Safe!
Used Or New, We Will Run You Over
Please tell me he is a virgin too. Ask for what you can also offer.
Thoughts?
If I ever actually find somebody I'd want to marry I would never propose with anybody around. I would want to eliminate any peer pressure and create an intimate environment
Instead Of Holding Rapists/Harassers Accountable, He Mocks Women For Trying To Protect Themselves. A True Pos
Henry Viii's Wives If They'd Never Met Him
Thought This Belongs Here. (From Selfawarewolves... Men Are So Close, I Can't Decide If They're Ignorant On Purpose Or Genuinely Can't Grasp Basic Concepts)
Sounds like the guy who yells "hey pretty lady" and approaches a woman they don't know, and when she "walks fast" to get away or tells him to stop, she has a "bad attitude"
Being In You 20’s Should Be About Self Development, Your Eduction And To Lay The Foundation For Financial Independence
Most Stay-At-Moms Do Not Get The Luxury Of Building A Career, Or Even The Luxury Of A Personal Life This Is How Women End Up In A Financial Trap With No Support
Ummmm... my wife and I support our family. I work long hours. My wife takes care of 90% of the household stuff. I clean the kitchen every night and get home by dinner time every night to have family time with her and our kids. I don't support her and she doesn't support me. We support each other.
Say It Louder For These Predatory Men!
Seriously
helping your wife means that most of the job is on her shoulder. I prefer say that I do my part...
Reminder
We Used To Think We Were Always At Fault
True if you date a self centered douche who doesn't care about your pleasure...
Women Protect Women From Harm. Men Protect Other Men's Ability To Lie, Cheat, And Knowingly Harm Women
I don't know about any 'bro code'. But any friend of mine cheating on his SO (also probably a friend of mine by association) and expecting me to keep it a secret isn't really my friend.
Never Settle For Less Than You Deserve
It Never Ends
*internal Screaming, Forever*
Be That Kind Of Direct, Lol!
Eh, careful with that. There are enough wannabe sugar daddies out there who‘d gladly take you up on that.
Wow
Why do I have trust issues? Being cheated on repeatedly, repeated gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. Oh, and the flat out lying.
Call Their Bluff 2020
Imagine: It’s Your Life
100% Accurate. Never Let It Slide
Women Are 6x More Likely To End Up Divorced If They Are Diagnosed With Cancer Or Ms, Than If Their Male Partners Were Facing The Same Illness
Please Share Stories Of Some Weirdly Specific Rules You Set After *that* One Guy
Never Let Them Get Comfortable!
Can opener in our house. And since I cook from scratch, I don't need it, but he would!
We All Know Why
Ladies, Let’s All Do Our Best To Teach The Next Generation Of Women This. While Sexual Adultification Affects Young Black Women The Most, It Definitely Occurs To Young Women Of All Backgrounds
'compromise!!'
Love A Good Roast
A Trend I've Noticed Among Lvm
If You Catch Feelings Easily, This Might Help! Stay Strong!
Psa: As Soon As Man Says That, Run The Opposite Direction Sis. This Is Red Flag. Manipulation
It Do Be Like That
The first time I met my now husband, I was wearing socks with holes (grew up poor and had been wearing socks with holes my whole life). He teased me about it and then brought me a pair of his own socks to wear :)
Potent
"Women feel like they don't need men anymore" is precisely what went right with this generation!
Facts
I have so much respect for the middle school I attended. All genders took tech class (basically wood shop, with a bit of electronics mixed in) for 9 weeks every school year, and all took home ec where they learned to cook, sew by hand, and eventually use a sewing machine. Skill was not based on gender - it was based on the effort you put in.
Reason #6567 Why Being Single Is Better Than Settling
Exactly
Enough Said
So Glad He Is Her Ex
Made Me Chuckle. Accurate!
Girlfriends/Wives Are Not On The List Of In-Network Therapists
Mic Drop
all things aside, i love to see you're and your used appropriately
This Is Nice But If You’re On A Date At Hooters It’s Already Not Going Well
It's already good enough they have this. Hope in a women's toilet.
My Wish For 2021 And Beyond Is That More Women Realise That They Don’t Have To Put Up With Callous, Selfish Behaviour In Their Relationships
For Real Though
That’s Gonna Be A No From Me
If you read an article like this and think "but it isn't all men, I'm not like that" don't blame women, blame the 40% of men who are ruining it for everyone else, male and female. Also realize that your hurt feelings are nothing compared to a lifetime of fear and being treated as an inferior person or disposable object.
And f*****g SPEAK UP when your male buddies are talking and acting like assholes, douches, perverts, creeps, and potential rapists, and call them out for it. Publicly. Make it socially unacceptable. If they get called out and publicly shamed for it——every single time they try it—-maybe they’ll think twice about doing it again. If they don’t stop, then just drop them as a friend, and go find better quality people to hang out with.
Load More Replies...
For the record here, r/FemaleDatingStategy is not a very, uh, liked subereddit because oftentimes there is a lot of things said about men like "who cares if men have mental health problems" and such. I agree with all these screenshots, but the subreddit that the came off of isn't the best. There are a lot of entitled people on there, which is sad because the sub could have been a really positive and supportive place.
I spent all of 5 minutes in that subreddit and saw so much sexist and misandrist crap, I never went back. That sub is utter trash.
Load More Replies...
Talking on your phone /texting and wearing earbuds while walking alone is not safe.
They’re often not playing music with those earphones in, and never not keeping their ears and eyes open to their surroundings while on the phone.
Load More Replies...
I made a profile on something like tinder. Oh the things I have seen 😅... I said on my profile that I'm bi. This man started with do you f*ck my ex? Well, first who the heck is you're ex and why are you bothering me with this. And that I was probably not because I wouldn't fall for the types of girls that falls for him. He said my attitude is the same as his ex and blocked me 🤣 well, I wonder why girls have an attitude with you 🤔
Oh dear XD. I'm bi too! But that dude was a jerk. (I think I'll just stay away from dating apps).
Load More Replies...
If you ask my daughter the way to a man's heart, she'll say "between the 4th and 5th ribs". She'll also tell you what we say to death is "not today"
I hate the fact that men are learning this! All men should know the way women feel! And they should listen to women!
I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting pretty sick of all generalizations and 1-dimensional views about 'men' and 'women'.
If the data backs it up, is it really a generalization? No. No, not really.
Load More Replies...
For 17 years I tried my best to set a good example for my daughter on how someone treats someone they love. Her choice for a boyfriend helps me feel that I did a good job.
Imagine that all the time for decades starting from when You're about 11 or 12 and not just from one man but from many - from any. And that would still be a much better than average experience, because like you say, your guy never actually did anything.
Load More Replies...
97% of women have been sexually assaulted. It's not "a few affected". It's the majority of women. I'm lucky it isn't me, and I genuinely fear that it will be one day. Ignoring people and being aggressive is how people save their life, perhaps they are happily married and kind, but perhaps this is the day I become the new Sarah Everard. I'm not willing to play russian roulette with 5 bullets in the gun. Men do not get assaulted nearly as much, and it's usually other men that do it. This is not an equal issue. Men's issues exist and should be talked about, but not in order to silence women's. Just as we have BLM, stop asian hate, climate change strikes, me too, and many others, we can talk about men's issues in a way that doesn't damage women's.
Load More Replies...
Bored Panda is not a writer, it's a website where everyone can contribute. Nobody is stopping you from writing that post about women assaulting men in kilts. But you don't get to tell other contributors what they should find important to write about.
Load More Replies...
But it's not even attacking men, that's what baffles me about this comment section. How is asking a short, ugly man if he has ever asked out a short, ugly woman attacking all men?! You only feel attacked if you have done something from this list, and you only need feel attacked if you haven't learned better and still do this stuff.
Load More Replies...
Literally no one is saying we are. All we want is respect, to feel safe, to not be used repeatedly, and not have our lives threatened for telling a man "no".
Load More Replies...
As another Gen Xer, I have to disagree. I was harassed both in public and at work. I was groomed by a 29 year old man when I was 16. This has very little to do with what generation you were born into. My guess is you were just lucky.
Load More Replies... Because it's an issue that makes many, many women miserable. It needs to be talked about.
Load More Replies...
If you read an article like this and think "but it isn't all men, I'm not like that" don't blame women, blame the 40% of men who are ruining it for everyone else, male and female. Also realize that your hurt feelings are nothing compared to a lifetime of fear and being treated as an inferior person or disposable object.
And f*****g SPEAK UP when your male buddies are talking and acting like assholes, douches, perverts, creeps, and potential rapists, and call them out for it. Publicly. Make it socially unacceptable. If they get called out and publicly shamed for it——every single time they try it—-maybe they’ll think twice about doing it again. If they don’t stop, then just drop them as a friend, and go find better quality people to hang out with.
Load More Replies... For the record here, r/FemaleDatingStategy is not a very, uh, liked subereddit because oftentimes there is a lot of things said about men like "who cares if men have mental health problems" and such. I agree with all these screenshots, but the subreddit that the came off of isn't the best. There are a lot of entitled people on there, which is sad because the sub could have been a really positive and supportive place.
I spent all of 5 minutes in that subreddit and saw so much sexist and misandrist crap, I never went back. That sub is utter trash.
Load More Replies... Talking on your phone /texting and wearing earbuds while walking alone is not safe.
They’re often not playing music with those earphones in, and never not keeping their ears and eyes open to their surroundings while on the phone.
Load More Replies... I made a profile on something like tinder. Oh the things I have seen 😅... I said on my profile that I'm bi. This man started with do you f*ck my ex? Well, first who the heck is you're ex and why are you bothering me with this. And that I was probably not because I wouldn't fall for the types of girls that falls for him. He said my attitude is the same as his ex and blocked me 🤣 well, I wonder why girls have an attitude with you 🤔
Oh dear XD. I'm bi too! But that dude was a jerk. (I think I'll just stay away from dating apps).
Load More Replies... If you ask my daughter the way to a man's heart, she'll say "between the 4th and 5th ribs". She'll also tell you what we say to death is "not today"
I hate the fact that men are learning this! All men should know the way women feel! And they should listen to women!
I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting pretty sick of all generalizations and 1-dimensional views about 'men' and 'women'.
If the data backs it up, is it really a generalization? No. No, not really.
Load More Replies... For 17 years I tried my best to set a good example for my daughter on how someone treats someone they love. Her choice for a boyfriend helps me feel that I did a good job.
Imagine that all the time for decades starting from when You're about 11 or 12 and not just from one man but from many - from any. And that would still be a much better than average experience, because like you say, your guy never actually did anything.
Load More Replies... 97% of women have been sexually assaulted. It's not "a few affected". It's the majority of women. I'm lucky it isn't me, and I genuinely fear that it will be one day. Ignoring people and being aggressive is how people save their life, perhaps they are happily married and kind, but perhaps this is the day I become the new Sarah Everard. I'm not willing to play russian roulette with 5 bullets in the gun. Men do not get assaulted nearly as much, and it's usually other men that do it. This is not an equal issue. Men's issues exist and should be talked about, but not in order to silence women's. Just as we have BLM, stop asian hate, climate change strikes, me too, and many others, we can talk about men's issues in a way that doesn't damage women's.
Load More Replies... Bored Panda is not a writer, it's a website where everyone can contribute. Nobody is stopping you from writing that post about women assaulting men in kilts. But you don't get to tell other contributors what they should find important to write about.
Load More Replies... But it's not even attacking men, that's what baffles me about this comment section. How is asking a short, ugly man if he has ever asked out a short, ugly woman attacking all men?! You only feel attacked if you have done something from this list, and you only need feel attacked if you haven't learned better and still do this stuff.
Load More Replies... Literally no one is saying we are. All we want is respect, to feel safe, to not be used repeatedly, and not have our lives threatened for telling a man "no".
Load More Replies... As another Gen Xer, I have to disagree. I was harassed both in public and at work. I was groomed by a 29 year old man when I was 16. This has very little to do with what generation you were born into. My guess is you were just lucky.
Load More Replies... Because it's an issue that makes many, many women miserable. It needs to be talked about.
Load More Replies...