“Cried Over My Face More Than I’d Like To Admit”: 55 Women Show How Giving Birth Changed Them

Becoming a parent requires a shift in your mindset. Your priority, from now on, is the welfare and happiness of your children. And that means that you will have to make lots of sacrifices, from temporarily setting some of your personal ambitions aside to spending more money for the sake of your kids.

That being said, as a parent, you can’t constantly put your physical, psychological, and emotional needs on the back burner either. You can’t take care of anyone properly if you’re chronically exhausted, burned out, anxious, and bitter.

You have to coordinate with your significant other, family, friends, and your wider social network so that they can support you when you need it. That way, you regularly set aside at least a bit of time to focus on the essentials that keep you running. That means carving out space for yourself to get proper rest, eat nutritious food, exercise, have a sliver of a social life, and focus a bit on your hobbies and activities that you love. It’s what you need to survive and thrive as a human being and a parent.

If you ignore your personal well-being and never make time to relax and recharge, you might succumb to parental burnout. According to The Guardian, the main signs of this type of burnout include: physical and/or emotional exhaustion, feeling ashamed of your parenting, feeling overwhelmed by your parenting role, and feeling emotionally disconnected from your children.

However, when you prioritize your self-care, you’re not just improving your overall health, but you also become a more confident parent. This leads to more positive interactions with your kids.

The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) has lots of useful, practical advice for new parents to help them deal with the sometimes overwhelming feat of raising a baby. The first step is to really hone in on your top priorities, and filter out everything that’s not needed.

“Write them [your priorities] down and keep the list where you can see it. In the first few weeks, try to cut down everything to the minimum – usually just looking after your tiny baby. Let someone else deal with the rest.”

Meanwhile, it’s a big help to you if you change your perspective, zoom out, and look at the big picture. No matter how hard being a parent is right now, some point in the future, you will miss watching your baby grow up. Your challenges are temporary. That being said, they’re still, well, challenging!

“You might feel like this strange hibernation phase will go on forever but it won’t, we promise. In fact, it actually lasts for a very short period and you’ll soon be back in the real world and kind of missing it,” NCT stresses.

Meanwhile, NCT also suggests that you could make a list of all the things that you want to do once you get used to being a parent and everything settles down again. That way, you have something to look forward to.

Not only that, but it’s also a reminder that you’re not putting your wants and ambitions aside forever and ever. It’s a temporary reprioritization until your baby grows up a bit.

As per NCT, new parents can do the following things to make it easier to cope with having a newborn:

1. Cook big batches of food and then freeze portions of it so that you save time and energy
2. Have small batches of diapers and baby clothes in every room of your home so you don’t constantly have to go get some
3. Accept the help that people close to you offer, even if it’s something like doing some of your chores or babysitting
4. Meanwhile, even if nobody offers to help you, learn to ask for help from your social circle
5. Try using a baby sling so that you can do more around the house while keeping your newborn close to you
6. Meet other parents who have young babies so that you feel more confident and supported
7. Constantly communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling

NCT warns that some parents might feel guilty about relaxing and “sitting around and doing nothing.”

There is nothing wrong with taking a breather and not multitasking. You can simply… exist for a little while.

“Now is a crucial and irreplaceable time to bond with your baby. So enjoy gazing at them, feeling them grab your finger and lay there stroking their face. Don’t feel guilty.”

Meanwhile, try to rest while your baby sleeps. This can be something as simple as taking a nap yourself. Or you can take a bath, read a good book, or watch an episode of your favorite TV show. This will keep your spirits up.

Moreover, find simple things to remind you of what you love in life. Maybe you meet up with a good friend for lunch while your partner looks after the baby. Or you could go to the hair salon or for a swim if you enjoy these things.

Even something as simple as a quick walk in your local park can help you clear your head and remind you that you're a human being, too, not just a parent. Get some fresh air. Feed the ducks. Look at some trees.

Again, your physical well-being is extremely important as well. When you take care of your body, your physical and emotional health improve, too.

“Take extra care of yourself in the daytime with nourishing, healthy food and gentle exercise like walking or yoga. Try to rest as much as possible. Taking extra care of yourself isn’t an indulgence. In fact, it will benefit your mental health at a time when it can be easy to not think about yourself at all. That’s also hugely important for your baby,” NCT urges.

How do you feel when you look at these honest motherhood photos? From your perspective, what are the biggest challenges that new parents face, and what have you personally found helped you overcome them?

What do you think family and friends can do to support and empower new parents? If you’re feeling social today, we’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments below!