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“What Is The Wildest Thing Someone Has Said To You While You Were Going Through A Hard Time?” (40 Answers)
A bit of support, kindness, and humanity goes a long, long way. But unfortunately, some people are so self-centered, entitled, and toxic that they throw empathy out of the window. For them, your struggles mean nothing.
Internet users took to a brutally honest thread about their most vulnerable, toughest moments in life, sharing the very worst things that someone has ever told them in response. It’s the kind of stuff that nobody should ever say if they don’t have a heart made of stone. It’s infuriating. Scroll down to read their experiences with the most emotionally unintelligent people anywhere on the planet.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I told my friend I was sleeping in my car for the past month, he then proceeded to tell me how good his thanksgiving’s was going to be.
I had my dog at that time and I remember going to buy food, driving to a park and sat there for 2 hours eating a thanksgiving meal with my dog.
patricia patricia 1 week ago
I had a "friend" like that. Fortunately, I've never been homeless, but I've been through difficult times and she would say totally callous things in the this style. Until approx a year ago my brain clicked, and I realised there no reason to put up with this rubbish. My cats and dogs are far better company than her. They are loyal, and they give unconditional love.
Wendy Hamilton 1 week ago
I'm so sorry that you had to go thru that. At least you had a meal with your best friend!
Earonn - 1 week ago
I went NC with my bio fam, and the first time I told friends that I would be on my own at Christmas Eve (not in a car - in a very comfy flat with lots of food and my lovely cat) - they immediately invited me, so I wouldn't feel alone. THAT's what friends do. By now this "pre-Christmas-Christmas" (for them, because they follow the British tradition) is almost a beloved tradition. :)
RELATED:
#2
The walls of my former apartment were so water-damaged and contaminated with mold that I ended up in the hospital with respiratory issues and MCAS that have caused permanent damage. My cats got scary sick too. I had to find a new apartment, throw out nearly everything I owned (furniture, family heirlooms, notes from now-gone loved ones etc.) and thoroughly clean every inch of what I could clean and take with me, or they would bring the mold spores with them. What I couldn't bear to throw out but couldn't clean, I have locked up in air-tight storage containers in the basement. It took weeks of back-breaking work while I was still extremely ill, work I had to do mostly alone to not get anyone else sick, and it wiped out my savings. I lost 30+ lbs because I would cough until I vomited. While this was going on, I was told I might lose my (very niche) job due to budget cuts, found out I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (I had to figure it out myself while sick because my doctors weren't listening, and I got it confirmed in April by a specialist), got dumped by my boyfriend, and nearly lost one of my best friends.
When I tried to express how stressful those months were, a colleague responded with, "Yeah, but didn't you feel so much better, throwing out all that unwanted junk?"
I couldn't seem to make her understand that it wasn't a "spring cleaning".
In case anyone wants to know how things turned out: I've been in the new place for a few months now, and my cats are healthier, I'm slowly recovering, my job is safe for at least one more year, and my friend is doing well. I also finally snapped out of denial, so my ex dumping me turned out to be the kindest thing he could have done, and I'm happier and less anxious without him. I'm also pursuing legal action against my former landlord and writing a book about it all.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 week ago
Sue that landlord into oblivion. I want to see him living in his car.
WindySwede 1 week ago (edited)
"Heard that Konmari thing is really good!" 😶
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Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
Wow what a vile cruel unfeeling co worker, I hope your doing ok now lovely ❤️
Dragon Ashes 1 week ago
My daughter recently found out she had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I can't imagine having her go through all the other stuff on top of that. Poor OP.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
This is the side of renting apartments that really breaks people financially and their health. I feel OP's pain. Went through something similar last year, but for a different apartment issue. I only just finished paying my mom back for the move, and still haven't been able to dig myself out of debt. If anything, it's gotten worse. It was a very difficult and challenging situation that had psychological lasting effects. But I had also learned that not everyone, especially people who don't know you well, or only as a work buddy, or acquaintance, people are just not going to genuinely care. Some people will even say something insensitive so you don't feel inclined to go to them ever again because they're going through, or have gone through, s****y situations and cannot handle listening to someone else's problems on top of what's on their mind.
#3
Lifelong dog owner. Age 32, I laid on the floor with my deaf dog Stella while putting her down. Crying. I always made sure she could see me or feel the vibrations from my voice. The VET said, “What, haven’t you put down a dog before?” Yes, but not this one. Found another vet after that.
Ace 1 week ago (edited)
I remember the first time I had to have a cat put down. His body was so far gone that the injections just didn't work, seemed to be an age, then eventually the vet injected something directly into the liver. I was leaning against the wall, slowly slipping down it, tear running down my face. I was probably about 25 at the time. RIP Sabre, my first lovely cat. Edit: James has just jumped up on the bed with me to make me feel a little better.
Hissyfit 1 week ago (edited)
My longtime veterinarian, who is not just a trusted professional, but someone I consider a friend after 25 years, told me that when a longtime client brings in a new puppy/kitten/dog/cat to carryon after a loved pet has passed, he is sad to think he will be at the end of this next pet’s life, too. Hard when all your patients will pass before you do. Your vet, however, was a jerk!
Drop Bear from Hell 1 week ago
My old boy passed very unexpectedly early Saturday morning. I was talking and giving him scritches while working at my desk. He laid down behind me and then he was gone. It was a complete shock and I still can't process it. He has taken such a huge part of my heart.
Robyn Hill 1 week ago
Every time I read something like this, it makes me thank everything that my vets are so wonderful. When I had to have my 19-year old cat Mick put to sleep almost a year ago, both my vet and his wife were there, because they’d taken care of her for more than ten years.
Lousha 1 week ago
My wonderful companion of 20 years was clearly declining in her last year, it was obvious where things were headed. When I woke up on her last day, she all but told me that it is the last day. So I called in sick to work, made sure that darling cat was comfortable and feeling loved, and called a vet to ask if they are available that day at any point in case my baby was in pain and we had to end it. I was crying so hard I'm sure they could hardly understand what I was saying, and I was a complete stranger to them. Still, they offered very kind words, and assured that I can call day or night, they will be ready and will make sure she won't suffer. Luckily we didn't need any help, we spent a sad and peaceful day together, and then she passed easily in my arms. But it was very reassuring to have someone at hand if we did need them.
Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
That person shouldn’t be a vet. I have put down multiple dogs and it NEVER gets any easier. My vet lets clients have as much time as we need and afterwards takes a plaster paw print so we have a memento to remember our beloved pet.
Lady Eowyn 1 week ago
When my first service dog passed, her primary vet was away and his partner, whom Toby had seen many times, was there. I held him in my arms. When I came to the office to pick up his ashes - they handled the cremation - he was there and apologized for having been away. RIP Dr Jaffee. Any vet who doesn't understand how losing each animal is different, shouldn't be working with anyone.
Mark Alexander 1 week ago
If that vet isn't self-employed report them to the owner of the practice.
The silver lining is that emotional intelligence, empathy, kindness, altruism, and all of those community-centered values are things that anyone can learn. With enough self-awareness, practice, and a growth mentality, anyone can become a better person. The bad news? Change is hard. And it requires you to set your ego aside and take responsibility for your behavior. Not everyone is willing to do this.
According to the Harvard Medical School, there are several ways in which you can practice cultivating more empathy for others:
- Actively listening to other people
- Being sensitive toward others by thinking about the questions you ask them
- Acknowledging your (un)conscious and implicit biases and prejudices
A good rule of thumb to keep in mind is that you ought to focus on what the other person is saying. If all you’re doing is waiting for your turn to speak, you’re being selfish.
Make eye contact with the person, don’t interrupt them, and don’t hand out unsolicited advice unless they specifically ask for your input. Sometimes, the other person simply wants to be heard, seen, and understood, not for you to try to fix their problems.
#4
I was depressed due to my epilepsy, finally confided in my wife. She told me "You know Gina, right?" (gina is her niece who was in a car accident and is paralyzed from waist down) "Gina has every reason to be depressed but she's not."
Thanks for dismissing how I feel.
I never confided in anyone again.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 week ago (edited)
I have a hunch that even had there been no Gina, she would have found a way to dismiss his feelings.
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Mark Alexander 1 week ago
Non-sufferers think "depressions" means being sad. Clinical depression is when your brain chemistry locks in to a depressive state and works it's hardest to maintain that state as it's new normal. They don't understand because they can't. Or won't. Ignore them.
Aileen Grist 1 week ago
Nobody's pain is comparable to yours. We're all just getting by as best we can. One person may find epilepsy very difficult to cope with, another person may be able to shrug and say what is, is, but not be able to cope with something the other person can. That's people.
patricia patricia 1 week ago
Comparisons are idiotic, too, because every person's situation is different, and also some illnesses have "degrees" of severity. An epileptic person can have a seizure every now and then, and another one several seizures a day. Same illness, but a very different impact on the patients' quality of life. A person who's wheelchair bound may have a loving family and the resources to have a relatively easy life, or may be alone and nearly destitute because they can't work and can't even afford the basics. An illness or disability can really f**k you life if you have no support.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
I hope to hell she’s now your EX WIFE what an unfeeling inhuman she is !
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago (edited)
Once, during a bad depression, someone told me about visiting a cancer ward, those people had reason to be depressed, I should be thankful. It made me more depressed that I felt so bad when others had it worse. I got depressed over my own depression.
Megalodon Meg 1 week ago
It's giving a*****e doc from Fight Club. I hope you're doing better.
Load More Replies... Megalodon Meg 1 week ago (edited)
What. The. F**k. As a fellow brain malfunction club member- epilepsy is legit so depressing. Your own brain is working against you and you have no control over it. It's exhausting and all doom and gloom. What an awful person.
Aidan Pite 1 week ago (edited)
One time I was sad because I was being bullied, so the mom of my bullies forced me to eat a cookie out of her hand because some people are paralyzed and always have to eat cookies out of people's hands so instead of feeling sad that her kids are bullying me I should feel grateful that I'm not paralyzed.
Scusa 1 week ago
I have epilepsy. I had cancer and was sliced, diced and sick for a year - that was a piece of cake compared to Epilepsy. I hope you are now speaking about your ex-wife. If I have learned anything from my journey, you find out who loves you. You also find those without Grace and the worst ones who make your illness about them. You find out very quickly how strong you actually are. The depression comes from the imbalance of meds - took 5 years for me and I have a group of people who “keep an eye” on my moods to make sure I am in balance. Reach out to your neurologist and if you haven’t already, ask them if they have any recommendations for a bad-a*s divorce attorney Keep us updated - you got this!!!!
#5
I found out in December that my partner of 18 years (spouse for 10) had been cheating on me the entirety of our relationship - and when I went home to my parents’ house to decompress, my step dad decided that was the perfect time to run down everything he thought I’d done wrong in the last thirty years, told me I was arrogant and needed to “humble myself,” and then told me I needed to leave because “if his cousin couldn’t stay here, then no family of my moms can stay at their house either.”
And here I thought I was his daughter, too, after 41 years.
FranSinclair 1 week ago
If that were my daughter...hopefully we can bounce back together bc i also just started the process of divorce with "stepdad"
#6
As a teen, I was adopted by a couple and they scammed me out of all my orphan benefit cheques. When I figured it out they had me suddenly kicked out. I was picked up from high school by a social worker with her van full of my belongings in garbage bags. I was in dumb shock and then just started sobbing.
She rolled her eyes and told me to knock it off.
Pinkie2014 1 week ago
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you have found people in your life that help you and give you confidence.
Dealing with someone who is self-absorbed, entitled, and narcissistic is a nightmare. All they care about are their wants and needs, not anybody else’s well-being. To be clear, prioritizing your welfare isn’t wrong, so long as you balance it with the needs of your community.
As per Verywell Mind, some of the biggest red flags that an individual is overly self-centered include behaviors like these:
- Dominating conversations, with a focus on their problems and successes
- Lacking empathy and being unable to put themselves in other people’s shoes
- Taking more from their relationships than they give
- Being unwilling to compromise or do things someone else’s way
- Not taking responsibility for their actions
- Blaming others for anything bad that happens
- Always wanting to be the center of attention
#7
My mother was a school counselor and I was depressed. I think I was in her office and there was even another person next to her, and she yelled at me angrily, "You better start talking to me [about it] or you're coming to sit in my office everyday after school until you do!!"
Both my parents had psychology degrees and yet they acted like idiots when it came to raising their own children.
patricia patricia 1 week ago (edited)
A degree is just a piece of paper that certifies you've read a certain number of books and were able to parrot those authors in your exams or essays. It doesn't mean you've become a better, compassionate person or that you have an ounce of ethics.
Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
With one notable exception, every person I have ever met who was raised by a parent I who was a psychologist or psychiatrist was pretty messed up.
#8
A Maths teacher demanding to know why I failed a test so badly in front of all the students when I hadn’t been at the school to learn that particular subject in the test because I lost my dad. And whats worse, he knew that.
Boy did he get it from my mum and the Headmaster!
Michael Largey 1 week ago
When one of my math students had missed a significant part of school, I come up with a separate catch-up curriculum and implemented it. Stupid to do anything else.
WindySwede 1 week ago
You wanted them to learn, this person wanted to exert their powers..?
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#9
The first person I ever opened up to about my depression was my best friend at the time. His response “You’re not depressed, you don’t have anything to be depressed about.”
10 years later I was finally diagnosed with bipolar 2 and started medication and 6 years later I’m doing amazing. That friend is no longer in my life after being best friends for 18 years for an uncountable amount of reasons.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
People think they know what mental illness is like. And they imagine some Hollywood version of it. Never recognizing how common it is in "normal" people. So people think if someone is "normal" and doesn't look like some Hollywood screen play they can't have X. I hear it all the time. Or they know someone with X and their version of X doesn't look exactly the same. So they're like, "I can't have that. My brother had that and he was insane."
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BeesEelsAndPups 1 week ago (edited)
When I told my now ex wife that I was depressed and contemplating self-termination, she told me that if I ever tell her anything like that again she'd leave me and find a way to take the kids away from me. She has been trying to take the kids, but the courts aren't helping her.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Sadly, being your best friend doesn't guarantee they're a good friend.
Gigi 1 week ago
I was always the "listener", "helper" and bamker of my then friend group. One time we were out I tried talking about my depression. Nobody stopped her from berating me for 5 minutes. They just watched. Was dismissed by one of them with the exact same words. The day before I had managed to talk myself off the terrace of my building because my cats would be left to starve if I jumped. Noped out of that group right after that get together. Just immediate no contact. They figured out I was upset 5 days later when one needed money, came by my house and I didn't opened the door. Queue them trying to stage an intervention about how I was letting them down. Funny thing: I was only able to get better after nopeing out. In my mind that group was a safety net I never actually had. Once that was gone and I accepted I am on my own, I better deal with it, I was able to seek the professional help. Also started actually going our and meeting people, incl. my now husbant.
Emilu 1 week ago
You (if, you know, you have more than half a brain cell) can look at all the celebrities in Hollywood, Bollywood, KPop/Jpop artists, etc etc... to see that depression doesn't discriminate. It doesn't give a shit whether you have money or a seemingly glamourous life; it'll still stick its claws into you. I'm glad OP kicked this "friend" to the curb -- not that they were much of a friend from the sounds of it, anyway.
Child of the Stars 1 week ago
It really bothers me when a celebrity comes out about their struggles with depression or anxiety or substance a***e and people start sneering. "It's better to cry in a BMW than a cardboard box," that stuff. It's so demeaning and dismissive.
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Susan Reid Smith 1 week ago
A lot of people don't understand the difference between sorrow and depression.
Emilu 1 week ago
Yes, but I fail to see the relevance of that to this post. Care to elaborate?
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Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
My reply to his response would have been, "Where did you get your medical degree?"
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 week ago
"What do you mean, you have asthma? All we have around here is air!" 🙄
If you’re feeling social today, Pandas, we’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments at the bottom of this post. What is the very worst thing that someone has said to you when you were going through a particularly tough time in your life? Why do you think they said it? How did you react?
What do you do to live life with a bit more empathy? Let us know!
#10
You still have to take care of us and cook for us. My late mom said that after I lost a baby at 14 weeks in July of 2006.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
"No. Actually I don't." Then order Door Dash for yourself. Let them find their own food. Or eat cheese and crackers or a sandwich or something. Let them find their own food.
Panda Kicki 1 week ago
I would have expected "It wasnt even a baby yet" or "it was just a clump of cells", they are so classic for mc.s . Even though a basic biology check will show even 9nweeks babies have most features. A 14 week is a small baby that fits in your hand. I know.
#11
You may be laying in the gutter' but at least you're looking at the stars.
I was homeless, sleeping outside during the autumn and winter months while working 3 jobs.
EmbersAreOut 1 week ago
That’s a butchered Oscar Wilde quote. The original is “ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” and it is about how everyone has their issues, but some people still choose to hope for something better. I hate when people mess with classics and completely change the meaning of things.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Thanks, came to clarify as well. That quote gets taken out of context every time.
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PandaPadi 1 week ago
I don't know why but it makes me feel like its toxic positivity. People are allowed to feel bad about their situation, it is not being negative, its a first step to understanding where we are now and take it from there. What I don't understand though is other people who feel its okay to shove their toxic positivity stuffs in your face.
#12
Tops my list easily. Sitting on a waiting list for about a year after having a small scale heart attack, I go to a doctor to talk about why my chest and heart still hurt, and that I constantly feel like I worked an 18 hour shift no matter how much I rest, and he's got nerve to tell me, "You've just got to try a little bit harder, okay?".
WindySwede 1 week ago
"Have you tried not having chest pains?" Next up, doc as an psychologist, "have you tried not beeing sad?" 🤦♂️
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 1 week ago
When I told a doctor how the d**g he prescribed for me was impacting my ability to care for my toddler, I asked if there was an alternative he told me that I should find someone else to look after her.
#13
My spouse herniated a disc in their back which required a spinal fusion of the C5/C6. They were out of work for several months as a result (physical labor) and finances were tight. While they were recovering, my mom asked if I would have lunch with her at a restaurant known for their large portions. At the end of the meal, I mentioned wanting to bring home some of the leftovers. She looked me straight in the eye and said “you’re always trying to take advantage of me, aren’t you.”
I paid for the meal and there were enough leftovers for us both to share. I’ll never forgot the look on her face, and we have not spoken in two years.
Wetbeard-the-Pirate (he/she) 1 week ago
The phrase is actually "woe is me", for future reference
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#14
“Well you wouldn’t be depressed if you were a better christian and trusted god more”
I was 12 btw. Also no longer religious.
patricia patricia 1 week ago
I've always heard "there's no hate like Christian love"
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Emilu 1 week ago
Stuff like this make me so glad I'm atheist. For knowledge reasons I enjoy reading about religions and their beliefs, but in actuality... nope.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 week ago
I read the Bible the same way I read books on Greek mythology
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Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 1 week ago
I was having a literal meltdown once and my mom's idea of "help" was to tell me to trust in God. and you know what? that actually grounded me. because that is just something so g*****n stupid and insensitive to say in the moment. I've also been an atheist for 12 years. please, any parents reading this, do not say things like that when your child has breakdowns.
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 week ago
This behavior is disgusting. I can't stand those so called "Christians" that think that way. Like those who tell suffering people that God is punishing them. My pastor and I were having a discussion about people with that sort of attitude. It's true that "Christians" make the most atheists. They misrepresent God, and drive people away from Him. I'm so sorry to anyone who has experienced this. You were deeply wronged. You are a precious soul, and you deserve love.
#15
I have multiple mental health issues and they're so severe I'm disabled. And someone told me they wished I had cancer so I'd have something serious and hopefully shut up forever :(.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago
Because mental health issues are just a walk in the park and people only have them to get attention. Ffs are people still so effing clueless?
Purple light 1 week ago
I've had depression and anxiety issues and cancer. I felt worse during my worst depression phase than during my worst cancer phase.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 1 week ago
my response: well, i do have this chronic illness called "Whoop A*s" in which I uncontrollably beat the s**t out of b*****s like you. better run!
#16
“Boys will be boys” from the MIL when I told her, her son cheated on me, whilst I was pregnant with his child.
Amy S 1 week ago
I'd guess MIL stayed with her cheating husband and son learned the behaviour is tolerated.
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Dog Mom to Zoe 1 week ago
Mom said the same thing when my 1st boyfriend cheated. Left him anyway.
#17
I go to the doctor and I’m telling him all about how I’m so depressed and want to die. I’m at the point where every day is misery and my husband is deeply concerned.
He goes, “why don’t you try going on a holiday?”
Robyn Hill 1 week ago
This c**p right here is why so many people who have depression DON’T seek help. Why seek it if this is the flippant BS you’re going to get? Depression is real, it’s debilitating, and it’s awful. You’d think doctors would understand this by now!
Emilu 1 week ago
This so much. "Have you thought about exercising more?" Yes. I'm still at your office, so it obviously worked /s. Or "take a break!" Sure, because I can afford to do that with the time I've needed to take off *because* of my depression, you dunderhead. To be fair, some doctors are great. Some just have NFI whatsoever.
Load More Replies... Drop Bear from Hell 1 week ago
oh - yes go be miserable in an exotic setting - can see how that would work a treat.
Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
I was diagnosed with depression by my GP who, noticing that I was repeatedly getting sick and needing medical attention, pointed out that this wasn’t typical for me and asked what was going on in my life. After I burst into tears and told him how awful things were, he calmly diagnosed me with depression, wrote out a prescription for antidepressants and referred me to a mental health professional for further evaluation. I was later diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder, type 2. After tweaking my medication and therapy I was 100% improved. A few years later this doctor had to leave the medical field because of his own health issues and he died soon after. Truly a loss for the profession. I have met multiple people this doctor helped, with life changing results.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 1 week ago
"why dont you try doing your job and actually help me? or maybe refer me to someone who actually gives a s**t?"
azubi 1 week ago
Let's agree on "that's what OP heard anyway", shall we? I'm getting a bit tired of people who lash out on people desperately trying to help when they only want to hear that noone cares about them..
Stardust she/her 1 week ago
Mate, a lot of depressed folk get told this same bs advice
Load More Replies... T.M.P Janssen 1 week ago
Nice. I can stay in bed all day in the caribbean then instead of home! GREAT IDEA. Why didnt I come up with that?
Grumpy old man 1 week ago
A few weeks ago I graduated from moderate to major depression.one psych suggested ECT
Emilu 1 week ago
Congrats! /s I agree with the suggestion to try TMS first. It's time-consuming but it doesn't put you out as much as ECT does. It didn't really do much for me, unfortunately, but other people that I spoke to that had it when I did had some good results. It is very person-specific.
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#18
Since i have no support system at all i finally opened up to my best friend that i struggle very much with anorexia (even though it was very obvious, i was always overweight but suddenly dropped 100lbs in half a year)
she then started commenting on my body and enabling me (e.g. "you're so much thinner and pretty now!!", "omg i only ate a little breakfast today what about you??", "you look sickly, it's kinda hot") which shes NEVER done before but the thing that finally got me cut her off was when she asked me for "ed tips". whatever that means anyways?
Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
The cultural obsession with thinness is so incredibly toxic. My mother was dying from breast cancer and had such a bad reaction to the chemotherapy that she was unable to eat solid food for a year. People kept telling her how “great” she looked. Made me sick to my stomach.
Kristiina Männiste 1 week ago
I got told "How great that you got diabetes! You look thin and pretty!" Yeah I got diabetes because I had a mental breakdown, thought that I do not deserve food and stopped eating, then after the diabetes diagnosis would eat only a chicken breast and a handful of fresh spinach per day and walk until my feet bled as a way to punish myself for existing and for getting the diabetes. But yeah I finally lost weight and thats the only thing that counts right
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 week ago
Not an ED, but after my son was born, I developed Grave's Disease. It causes your thyroid to go hyperactive and has a whole s.hit.ton of health issues. One is sudden weight loss. I went from 160lbs (pregnancy weight) to about 110lbs in less than 8 weeks postpartum partum. Too many people made comments on the sudden weight loss like it was a good thing and my thyroid wasn't trying to k**l me.
Emilu 1 week ago
People are insane about this sort of thing. I had some people from work congratulate me on my weight loss. Meanwhile, I'm thinking "thanks! It's actually because I'm probably going to die in a couple of years, but at least I can be skinnier until then!" I personally see it as someone maybe being pregnant... don't say anything until the baby is actually emerging 😆
Load More Replies... Oops 1 week ago
I think, she was overstrained, a normal people cannot grasp your problems. She can only give "normal" advices, wich dont help you. Look for professional help, be careful though. I got a therapist, wich wanted to know, how much my hubby would earn, maybe my incóme was too low for her. I wanted only help for max half a year, she worked out a plan for eight!!! years. When i wanted to reject she yelled me into the therapy. I was totally helpless because of my issues and she knews it.
#19
"At least now they're in a better place". Will always be the wildest thing to me.
Anyone-for-tea? 1 week ago
I always thought that was said about people who had been suffering for a long time and that death had finally eased their suffering? I don’t know because I’ve never used that before.
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Michael Largey 1 week ago
Whether that statement is true or not is impossible to know. And Impossible to deny. So if it helps, it helps.
Amy S 1 week ago
Someone said this to my mother after my father died. She replied the best place for him to be is raising his children.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Yes and no. Dead is better than daily suffering from a debilitating condition where there is no cure. But I've always found it a bit crass.
Debbie 1 week ago
Considering the world today I might even agree even if deceased didn't have a heavy burden in this life.
DC 1 week ago
Not yet. We're still seeing the preparation, the opening credits of cräp hitting a million fans for real. And it all happens and adds up the worst way it could.
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T.M.P Janssen 1 week ago
Whats wrong with: "I am so sorry for your loss"? Isnt that fashionable anymore?
BeesEelsAndPups 1 week ago
That's usually done on Memorial Day for veterans.
Load More Replies... #20
My mother. I had just come out of ICU after a stroke & fall downstairs. While the doctor was going through my injuries she interrupted him to exclaim she had also fractured her skull! So desperate for attention (yes she has a personality disorder). Sent her packing after that.
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
Are you sure it's an actual disorder and not just a toxic trait? Wondering if OP's mom was always so desperate for attention or did it start after her skull fracture?
Roberta Surprenant 1 week ago
Why would OP's skull fracture affect mother's health? ie: mom made up story about fracture for attention.
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Ashley Jones 1 week ago
I have a rare genetic disease that causes seizures and strokes as side effects that manifested when I was 14, I am now in my 40s and my brother still says I'm just being dramatic and looking for attention when I'm having what my mom calls an "episode "
#21
Went to an elite boarding school. I have dyslexia so when I started struggling academically the first term, so I went to the learning center for help. I was told by the academic support teacher, "Put a skirt on, brush your hair, and you'll do fine.".
WindySwede 1 week ago
When you lie on your resume, and say you've got experience in support..
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#22
Had a physical check up as a part of a job interview process and they sent me to a doctor I had never been to before. She literally spent the whole half hour telling me i was so fat. She just kept repeating that and looked at me like she had never seen someone as fat as me before. I’ve always been on the big side but I was wearing a 1x at the time which is hardly a massive size.
I was so embarrassed and humiliated that I cried in my car after. .
nottheactualphoto 1 week ago
I'm fat? Wow, what a revelation! Thanks for opening my eyes, doc.
#23
During an ugly divorce.
My brother- You have your life, I have mine
My sister- Don't come asking me for money.
Haven't spoken to either of them for 18 years because of it.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 week ago (edited)
This s***s. They lost so much family all at once. Edit: s-u-c-k-s? Really?
#24
I just came out of the hospital and my friend of 12 years turned around and basically said “you need to pull yourself together. I had a friend that has cancer. Your problems aren’t that bad”. Never blocked someone so fast in my life.
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
Just because someone else may have more problems or problems that are deemed worse, doesn't mean that your issues hurt less or don't bother you as much.
#25
So I was going through a really rough patch, right? Like, everything felt like it was falling apart. And this one person, I won't name names, but you know the type, comes up to me, totally serious, and goes,
Well... maybe this is happening to teach you patience." Like... what?? 😭 Bro, I don’t need a life lesson right now, I need a nap and a pizza.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 week ago
🤬🤬🤬 I do NOT need a lesson in patience. Well, maybe just enough patience to avoid smacking people who say things like that.
Colleen Glim 1 week ago
There’s not enough patience in the world to keep me from smacking people like this. Just walk away and don’t engage with them
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#26
My father began slapping me in the ER because he was convinced I was faking my symptoms to humiliate him. Turns out I had a stomach ulcer. At age 7.
I had a friend who was always very dismissive of this and told me repeatedly that I was likely perceiving it to be far, far worse than it really was because I’m too Westernized. Until one night this friend overheard a discussion with my mother over the phone and told me they finally believed me, but, in their defense, they “wanted to be the one with the worst family.”
So you were dismissing my pain for years because you were playing oppression Olympics with my experiences? The worst was that I was always readily available whenever they needed a sympathetic ear and I never dismissed anything. And the discussion with my mom really wasn’t that bad, I wouldn’t even put it in the top 40% of worst discussions.
Stardust she/her 1 week ago
Ugh, I hate those folk who tell me I’m too ‘westernised’ because I can’t take a***e
Emilu 1 week ago
You should *not* "need" to be a****d. I'm so sorry, Star. Like I've said previously, you need to get out of where you are.
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#27
I was in the hospital with severe corneal trauma, and had completely lost my eyesight. I had literally just learned that I would never ever see again. My best friend says, “Well just think about Helen Keller. It could always be worse.”
😑.
who stole my bamboo 1 week ago
she def has main character syndrome tryna get stuff she doesnt want out of her path to save the world (she might save a few pennies)
Load More Replies... #28
Mine was that when the pet I had had for 10 years passed away, the most common thing I heard from other people was "when are you going to get another one?" .
Dog Mom to Zoe 1 week ago (edited)
Pets aren't pieces of furniture that you can replace. Humans can be such @$$holes.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 week ago
I know from my own experience that you do end up getting another one, but not to replace the sweetie you've lost, but because all the love you have has to go *somewhere*.
Ripley 1 week ago
We lost a much beloved dog last year - we got another one (rescued greyhound) within a really short space of time because our surviving dog had never not had a buddy and needed a friend. The greyhound has helped immeasurably to patch the huge pit of grief, and we love him to bits. So I lean into the "get another pet to distract you from your hurt" - they're not a replacement, but a new creature to learn to love - I get why some people just can't go there, though, and respect that.
Load More Replies... Smeghead Tribble Down Under 1 week ago
''It's only a dog/cat/ferret/etc'' No Gwen, he/she was my best friend and companion -_- Some people are just so heartless it's incomprehensible.
Chich the witch 1 week ago
Lost my guy in an accident in the spring. Still not over it, even tearing up typing this.
Emilu 1 week ago (edited)
I'm so sorry. I know how much losing a beloved pet hurts.
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Cee Cee 1 week ago
I still think of and sometimes weep over my long gone cats. Four have graves in my garden and sometimes I'll talk to them. Earlier this year I had to have my lovely rescue dog Otto pts. The vet was really kind. But I miss Otto a great deal. I still have 3 dogs but that empty space in my bed hurts.
Emilu 1 week ago (edited)
I've lost two birds too young (one escaped outside when a friend accidentally left the sliding door open) and the other because she was too stubborn to switch to a healthy diet. The first was especially distressing (I heard her being mauled to death, ultimately) but they were both awful. Non-pet owners absolutely don't get it, and even some pet owners that don't own your type of pet don't get it either. Eg: It's cheaper to buy a new budgie than take your existing one to the vet. Erm, I'm sorry, but I like mine.
Sue Ellen Jensen 1 week ago
I'm old enough that ive had to put down several cats. It has been my experience that when I am ready for another one it comes to me. The CDS really works. This doesn't mean that I dont grieve my beloved pets. They are smarter than some people I know.
#29
"I hope God doesn't have to bring you to your knees in order to bring you back to him. If you're not careful, sometimes that's what it takes, so don't let it get that far."
I was a struggling college student who was grappling with questions of faith and had basically realized that I'm an atheist after being a Christian all my life. The guilt and shame were overwhelming, as was the new-ish experience of forging my own path. I was taking 14-18 credit hours of classes per semester while also working 2-3 part time jobs at any given time so I could pay my bills at 20 years old (I'm almost 40 now; sorry 20-year-olds, but you're still kids for all intents and purposes, and so was I). I was stressed to the max, grieving my faith, wrestling with residual shame, anxious, riddled with self-doubt and emotional dysregulation partly due to undiagnosed ADHD, and yeah.
My own father decided to tell me that somewhat gleefully. The words themselves aren't the worst ever. It was the tone, the clear self-righteousness from someone who *wanted* me to suffer so that I might decide to share his beliefs once again. As if I didn't have enough cognitive dissonance with which to contend.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 week ago
Any God who would do that is evil and not worthy of worship or respect. In the Bible, in the book of Job, God and Satan basically make a bet, ruining Job’s life in a supernatural pîssing contest.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Some really lousy people are still better than the "god" they worship.
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Rick Murray 1 week ago
I never understood why some people think that religion is something that needs to be suffered.
Chich the witch 1 week ago
Always remember the line from a Tom Waits song - "Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk
Stardust she/her 1 week ago
Not Christian but my parents have always told me to follow god with this similar condescending tone as according to them I’d be lost without him. If I tell them I’m atheist or any other family comes to know then they’d be ashamed of me because my ancestor was a priest at a big temple
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
OK. This s***s. But think about the poor Christian. There's a faith totally built on fear. I'm sure his dad believed that. Because he doesn't have the experience of a loving God. Only fear. It can be such an awful religion.
Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
People like this give Christianity a bad name. I am a Christian. I believe in God. One of my oldest friends is an atheist. Over 30 years ago she asked me why I didn’t try to convince her she was wrong in light of my own faith. I told her that the reason I believe is that I feel God’s presence in my heart. If she didn’t, then there was nothing I could say that would make any difference. That was the last time the issue was raised.
nottheactualphoto 1 week ago
It almost sounds like you respect each other! It makes me sad that I find this surprising.
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Todd Clark 1 week ago
Yeah, my brother pulled that s**t on me. Then the SOB died before I could get into a good fight with him about it. Don't misunderstand me, we had that fight about faith vs reason all the time, and I love and miss him every day.
PandaPadi 1 week ago
Im sorry that this happens to people. I believe in God but had been through a lot of questioning at different phases of my life. I can understand someone being atheist. But since it is my choice to believe, I can say that god has ways to call you closer and its not through pain.
#30
My very senior dog had a sudden neurological event where he was paralyzed in the back legs. We went to an urgent care who sent us home on crate rest with meds. After a restless night, we gave him meds, but it wasn’t helping. Within the hour he was hot to the touch, struggling to breathe, and seemed like he had rigid paralysis/seizure(?), so we ran him to the only open urgent care. I realize I should’ve tried an ER but all of them were 30+ minutes away vs 5 minutes and I was afraid he wouldn’t make it. They took him back and the vet came out and said “Your dog is going to be brain damaged. You shouldn’t have brought him here.”
She transferred him to an ER sedated after that. We still don’t know what it was. Nobody had guesses for me. I called the first vet again and they never called back. I was told I could transfer him to a fourth vet clinic in 12 hours for an MRI ($5000) but that his temp had hit like 110F and he was indeed brain damaged to the point he wasn’t responsive or able to move, so we’d still have to put him to sleep. It’s haunted me this whole past year. He was almost 17 years old. We ran bloodwork while we waited to put him to sleep and all of it came back normal.
Kristiina Männiste 1 week ago
I hope the Op does not see this but I had a somewhat similar thing with my West-Siberian Loki. He just randomly started convulsing one Saturday afternoon and we had to drive his 35kg convulsing self to first a local, then a regional and then to a major vet clinic 200km away. He was put into a coma but the vet told us his brain would likely be fried from the convulsions already and we should put him down. I kept postponing the decision and he came out on the 7th day, mostly normal except a limp on a back paw. Never figured out what caused all this. I still had to put him down 3 years later tho - because his gallbladder ruptured and local vets failed the diagnosis until it was too late. Living out in the country is nice when you are heathy, but woe to any pet that gets sick here
#31
My aunt once called a mental health crisis hotline type number and was told to “look at the trees.” As if seeing a leaf would instantly cure her depression and trauma.
Drop Bear from Hell 1 week ago
Mmmmm not sure about this one. Those hotlines train their staff very well
Jenae 1 week ago
I called a s*****e hotline once and the guy told me, "are you just going to cry or are you actually going to talk?" Who says that to someone who is contemplating offing themselves? He might have been trained, but he had no business being on the other side of that phone. A$$hole.
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Tempest 1 week ago (edited)
During the pandemic (with uni classes being online), I got a bad final grade in a class (wasn’t a fail but still one of the lowest grades I’ve ever had). This was on top of several mental health issues I was dealing with so the stupid grade was the tipping point. I thought I’ll try the Samaritans hotline. Was my first time ever calling a hotline so I didn’t tell them everything but focused on my low grade and how I’ve been down lately. The person on the line actually laughed and spoke to me in a mocking tone the entire time as if they couldn’t believe someone was upset over a simple grade when it was clear that it wasn’t the only thing bothering me. The call made me feel even worse and I’ve never sought help from a helpline since. Given it’s mostly volunteers with no actual experience working these lines, there’s not much hope.
Child of the Stars 1 week ago
Or one of those calming techniques like finding something you can see/smell/hear/touch/taste.
Load More Replies... #32
"You'll be rewarded for your sacrifice, so be happy."
Sure! No problem being happy while sacrificing my health, money, time, interests, marriage, and family time, just so I can drive an hour to and from wiping someone's ungrateful behind when I leave work. Joy! Joy! Joy! 🙄
Yes, I care about the person, but I'm human, and this is hard. I need to feel what I feel. 😭😭.
WindySwede 1 week ago
This is why society should provide free elderly care. And parents not demanding anything like this from their kids!
Chich the witch 1 week ago
The christian god ticks off almost all the boxes for an a*****e partner.
Sally Moen 1 week ago
Turns out life does the exact opposite of rewarding suffering. Instead you don't get a break, but the person who gets chances and no consequences for their misdeeds is given more breaks again. The best thing you've got from the sacrifices is knowing you have a loving heart. And that is something to be grateful for. You're a better person
#33
I was out with my friends one night for a going away party (one of them was moving to Germany). I was one drink in, and I get a message from my bf at the time telling me that my dog couldn’t walk and maybe she fell down the stairs. He was a very insecure man and said “I’m here taking care of your dog and you’re just out partying and drinking”. I was already in an uber home when he said that. I got home and stayed up with her all night until we could get to a vet in the morning. I went to the vet, and she had broken her spine. It was a $17,000 surgery with a 25% chance of it working. The other option was to put her down, it was the hardest decision of my life - but I knew she wouldn’t be happy if she couldn’t run around. A month after we put her down my bf at the time said to me during a fight “why are we even together anymore, Fran was the only reason I stuck around”. I stayed with him a year after that, still don’t know what happened to her while I was gone for an hour….
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
I probably would be in jail for ending the bf, if I found out that they intentionally hurt my dog, and ultimately took my pup's life away. Glad OP isn't with him anymore but shocked they stayed with him for a whole year after.
who stole my bamboo 1 week ago
if someone k-i-l-l-e-d my 2 pet ginipigs i would k-i-l-l their pet back
#34
I was in a hospital bed, arms stitched up, loads of stitches, bandaged up and at one of my lowest points, and my step Dad just went "I don't see the point, mental health isn't a thing".
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago
Just because you might not have experienced it yourself does not mean it isn't real.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
This is how my mom thinks, too. Older generations were really ignorant about mental health. But I think it goes deeper that they find it shameful or embarrassing to have mental disorders. My mom describes people with mental disorders as "gross" and "disgusting".
Kristiina Männiste 1 week ago
My mom tells me people with mental health issues are "weaklings" Luckily she has not told me I was weak each time I selfharm with my meds and am out of commission for a day and she has to drag me to my bed and mop up my vomit. But I think my dad has some depression or whatever issues that he should see a specialist about and is afraid to do as to not seem "weak" in my moms eyes.
Load More Replies... Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago (edited)
Just because you don't have the appropriate equipment for mental health issues does not mean that they don't exist!
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 1 week ago
sounds like dad's the one who should have the stitches
#35
While a friend talked about how upset she was that she lost her mum to cancer, one of our mutuals decided to tell us how his mum is responding really well to treatment.
#36
I was ~25 and about to move in with a boy for the first time. I was freaking out about how my dad was Very Against Cohabitation Before Marriage (tm) and how he'd told me he wouldn't pay for any wedding if I lived with a man before we married.
All of my coworkers at the time were in their 40s/50s and the ones I was closest with kept reassuring me that it would all be okay and my dad loved me very much even if I upset him.
Then a woman who treated me like a child the entire time we were on the same team came around the corner and told this story about how her grown daughter, a few days before her wedding, was about to leave her parents' house to sleep at the apartment she'd gotten with her soon-to-be husband and my coworker flipped out telling her things like "I GUESS WE DON'T EVEN NEED A WEDDING" and "I GUESS WE'LL JUST CANCEL EVERYTHING BECAUSE WHAT'S THE POINT IF YOU'RE LIVING IN SIN ALREADY."
Basically everything I was freaking out about, she threatened to do to her daughter (who turned around and slept at home rather than continue the argument).
It's been over twenty years since that day and I still think about how strange it was that she thought telling that story would be helpful to my situation in any way.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 week ago
These anti-premarital sėx people have it backwards. They want you to be married, right? Offering to pay for a wedding would make more sense than refusing to pay for a wedding. If they pay for a wedding, it will become marital sėx. “Problem” solved.
WindySwede 1 week ago
Sad really, the whole thing with oppressing your own kids because of religion.
Load More Replies... Biytemii 1 week ago
How can u marry someone if you don't know if you can live together. It definitely makes sense to figure out if you are compatible living and s3xual partners before you sign that paper.... The people that just hope I would imagine are very unhappy or end up divorcing... It should be a requirement before marriage honestly. You have to live together for a year before marriage. Would probably drop divorce rates honestly..
Norfolk and good 1 week ago (edited)
Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but personally I think it's very risky to marry someone you've never lived or had s*x with. You wouldn't buy a car without test driving first.
Colleen Glim 1 week ago
Lived with my husband for eight months before we got married. I think it’s important to find out if you can live together comfortably before you get married. We’ve been married 33 years
#37
I was chronically ill and bedridden for two years when my husbands aunt called me. When I asked how she was doing she rambled on about how wonderful and healthy she was and how she’s the healthiest person she knows and how it makes life wonderful and how she was in awe that everyone around her seemed to have failing health but her. She giggled with delight and laughed while telling me this. I told her she was rude and what she just said was akin to describing your gourmet meal to a starving poor person. It’s one thing to say she was doing great and felt good but she went on about it for 30 minutes. It was disgraceful. She’s like that with everything though. Everything she has is better than everyone else’s, even her health. Sad thing is she was 100 pounds overweight and had not been to a doctor in years and refused to go.
Drop Bear from Hell 1 week ago
why would you stay on the phone listening to her? I'd have hung up....
Chich the witch 1 week ago
You just can't slam a cell phone down like you can a handset. Was truly satisfying the few times I did it :)
Load More Replies... #38
An old friend popped up out of the blue and compared in detail, my brick and mortar business to her instagram page with 400 followers she just started.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago
No comparison at all, influencers are the most important people out there, working inconceivably difficult jobs, far beyond what we made mortals could manage.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
You'll probably regret not putting a laugh emoji on that.... 😏
Load More Replies... #39
I told my older cousin that I was probably depressed. He told me "Really? Just go eat ice cream and watch TV for the next 6 hours." I thought it was dumb. Here I am a year later, taking his advice. I saw it as wild at first, now I'm slowly giving in to it. Send help 🙏.
Michael Largey 1 week ago (edited)
Six hours of current TV is an excellent way of deepening your depression. Especially the news.
Colleen Glim 1 week ago
Reasons why I quit watching the news. For the sake of my own mental health
Load More Replies... #40
A ways into my 1st heartbreak, my best friend/roommate and I went to the grocery store. Before we got out of the car, I said to him that I was still hurting from the breakup. There was a pause, then he looked at me and started reciting the 1st half of Garth Brooks's The Game. When he finished, we just stared at each other for a beat or 2. Then we lost it laughing. I hadn't laughed like that in months. It was such a relief.
He has absolutely no recollection of that moment, and didn't even know that he knew any parts of that song. This was 02, maybe 03.
I know this may not be the wildest thing, and it certainly wasn't the toughest time anyone has ever had, but it was so random, so hilarious, and it really helped.
Anyone-for-tea? 1 week ago
I thought this was a list when people said stupid things, not helped?
#41
When I told someone I'd lost my husband they said they knew how I felt because they'd lost their cat.
Me 1 week ago
I was widowed very young. I'd get those comments as well. The worst one I ever got was about 3 years after he died and I had taken a year long leave of absence from my job, spending that year doing grief therapy, other therapy, and just working hard on myself and was now well-adjusted and happy. This person, who had only recently met me, said that I was obviously lying about being widowed as I was too well-adjusted and I was just an attention-seeker and a s****y person for lying about something as serious as losing your spouse. I went to the washroom and cried and cried.
Dog Mom to Zoe 1 week ago
That's a tough one. I don't think the person who lost their cat was trying to be insensitive. We pet owners see our pets as family. I am sorry for the lost of the husband.
Me 1 week ago
I get what you're saying and I love my current dog to pieces. I've lost other dogs over the years. And lost my husband too. Its nothing anywhere near the same. I get heartbroken whenever it's been the end of my dogs life. When my husband died, my entire world died and the utter despair I felt was 10,000 times worse. I get that people may just be trying to relate, but it's really not the right thing to say. So here's your PSA: if you're ever in that situation and unsure what to say, here's 2 sayings for you: " I'm sorry for you loss" or "I sorry you had to go through that"
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 week ago (edited)
If you've never lost a spouse - or never had one - you may have no clue what that means. A cat may indeed be your only analogy, but it's not enough. If I lost my wife, my life wouldn't be over. But the life I'm living would be.
Emilu 1 week ago
If I'd heard someone say that to my mother they'd get a beating, and I'm not a violent person. I remember when one of the state newspapers called wanting more information on my father's death (so glad my mother didn't answer the phone) and I told them to kindly fuck off because my father's death wasn't going to be their entertainment piece. Later found out several other news stations had also been turned away (didn't know Dad was that famous 🤷🏽♀️). TL;DR - most people have no clue. If you're a better person than me, appreciate that they're caring enough to offer you some modicum of sympathy. If you can't do that, I don't blame you whatsoever. Even now my mum is still invited to "couples' trips" with some of her friends as some sort of condolence. Pro-tip: It's not -- and will never be -- a condolence.
#42
Probably about 3-4 years ago, me and my gf had an argument about money.. My parents had asked to borrow money from me (I never tell them no) and she said "But its OUR money" and I told her "we aren't married and my money is my money like your money is your money" and she slapped me so hard
I just left the house to stay at a friends for awhile and they were drinking.. I decided to join them and told them all that happened but was getting angrier and angrier the more I talked about it and one of my friends said "If you wanna hit someone! HIT ME!" and I didn't even hesitate, I got up and slammed him out
When he woke up like 20-30 mins later the first thing he said to me was "Do you feel better?" And we all just laughed 😂.
Michael Largey 1 week ago (edited)
I had a relative that for a while frequently borrowed money from my wife and me (and always paid ii back). My wife was never anything less than totally supportive. When that relative came into a large family inheritance she split it with me even though there was no legal reason to do so.
Drop Bear from Hell 1 week ago
Mmmm better to hit a friend and not the gf? Ever heard of anger management courses?
DC 1 week ago
I'd advise to get some dead object to hit instead of anything alive, as not hitting or damaging iving creatures is, sort of, a key point why anger management exists in the first place, ...
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What do you think ?
Ace 1 week ago
Had to stop reading thee about half way down. There are some horrible people out there.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
I was living with my mom in 2012 at the age of 56, a huge embarrassment in itself. I had left home when I was 17 and now here I was, back in the house and state I had worked so hard to get away from, I had no money, no job, my car had been repossessed, and I was completely dependent on my mom until I could find a decent job again. But before that, I had managed to go back and finish high school after I quit, worked and supported myself, finished my lower 2 years of a 4 year university degree at a community college, bought a house (that I had to sell), and had just completed 17 units in one semester at the local college on stimulus money, making the president's list. I don't know why I did it, but one day I casually asked my mom if she was proud of me. Her answer was, "Why? You haven't done anything." I still can't believe any mother would say that to her daughter. I ended up getting a car and driving back home, choosing to live in my vehicle instead of with her and I let her know that.
Birgit M 1 week ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You have every reason to be proud of yourself! 💛
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HappyMaskSalesman 1 week ago
A few days after being diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at 16 - a MENTAL DISORDER, NOT a choice - my father stood 10cm from my face and screamed at me “you have anorexia. Just. F*****g. Eat.” He was an emergency department physician - makes me terrified to think how strong the stigma must be if a medical doctor could believe it’s a choice.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
I had a huge fight with a medical doctor who was a friend bc he was screaming at me depression wasn't "real" like other diseases. Just bc you're an MD doesn't mean you're an idiot.
Load More Replies... Chich the witch 1 week ago
I've posted this before but when I had leukemia I was talking to someone about it and their comment was that I only had cancer because of "condensed sin". In other news, some of the comments described by people in the posts are obnoxious but can be due to them being uncomfortable and not knowing what to say. I found this and learned to cut some slack for some. Others, like the person I spoke about, are righteous twats.
Livingwithcfs 1 week ago
I remember so many things that could have gone here. We all have troubles and someone will always say the wrong thing at the wrong time... Unfortunately that's human nature. We can be incredibly cruel to each other
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 week ago
How do you usually respond when someone says something insensitive about your hardship? Give them the “Did you really say that?” look. Sometimes, also, ask, “Excuse me. What did you say?” in a very quiet, polite voice.
Charlotte Ingle 1 week ago
What an odd thing to say" can also be effective
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her 1 week ago
2 years ago my parents found out through my school that I was süicidal (still am lol) but I guess they thought that since I live an easy life I must’ve joked to someone about kms instead of actually being s******l. I told them that no, I was actually suıcidal so my dad just responded by saying ‘then why don’t you just kilł yourself, our burden may reduce’. Same guy two years prior to that threatened me with a knife because one of my friends told my parents I was sūicidal 🥰
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago
The more I hear about your parents the more I worry about you. Do you have relatives you could live with? A friend's family that you could move in with? You should document this a***e and report it to the authorities. I have no idea what you culture is like, I hope their actions are not normalised where you live?
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Someone else having it worse doesn't mean it still isn't bad for you. Twice people at work have said to me "It can't be that bad" when I was looking sad - on both occasions I'd just found out a colleague had died, so yes, it can be that bad. On the flip side: when my brother developed MS, his attitude has been not to worry about what he can't do, but focus on what he still can. That approach may help some people, although obviously not all.
Stephanie Emmerich 1 week ago
I can think of several, but the most W*F was probably when I was at my Grandmother's funeral, and a friend texted me to tell me how bad their day was going. And yes, she knew I was at my grandmother's funeral.
Ace 1 week ago
Had to stop reading thee about half way down. There are some horrible people out there.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
I was living with my mom in 2012 at the age of 56, a huge embarrassment in itself. I had left home when I was 17 and now here I was, back in the house and state I had worked so hard to get away from, I had no money, no job, my car had been repossessed, and I was completely dependent on my mom until I could find a decent job again. But before that, I had managed to go back and finish high school after I quit, worked and supported myself, finished my lower 2 years of a 4 year university degree at a community college, bought a house (that I had to sell), and had just completed 17 units in one semester at the local college on stimulus money, making the president's list. I don't know why I did it, but one day I casually asked my mom if she was proud of me. Her answer was, "Why? You haven't done anything." I still can't believe any mother would say that to her daughter. I ended up getting a car and driving back home, choosing to live in my vehicle instead of with her and I let her know that.
Birgit M 1 week ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You have every reason to be proud of yourself! 💛
Load More Replies... HappyMaskSalesman 1 week ago
A few days after being diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at 16 - a MENTAL DISORDER, NOT a choice - my father stood 10cm from my face and screamed at me “you have anorexia. Just. F*****g. Eat.” He was an emergency department physician - makes me terrified to think how strong the stigma must be if a medical doctor could believe it’s a choice.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
I had a huge fight with a medical doctor who was a friend bc he was screaming at me depression wasn't "real" like other diseases. Just bc you're an MD doesn't mean you're an idiot.
Load More Replies... Chich the witch 1 week ago
I've posted this before but when I had leukemia I was talking to someone about it and their comment was that I only had cancer because of "condensed sin". In other news, some of the comments described by people in the posts are obnoxious but can be due to them being uncomfortable and not knowing what to say. I found this and learned to cut some slack for some. Others, like the person I spoke about, are righteous twats.
Livingwithcfs 1 week ago
I remember so many things that could have gone here. We all have troubles and someone will always say the wrong thing at the wrong time... Unfortunately that's human nature. We can be incredibly cruel to each other
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 week ago
How do you usually respond when someone says something insensitive about your hardship? Give them the “Did you really say that?” look. Sometimes, also, ask, “Excuse me. What did you say?” in a very quiet, polite voice.
Charlotte Ingle 1 week ago
What an odd thing to say" can also be effective
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her 1 week ago
2 years ago my parents found out through my school that I was süicidal (still am lol) but I guess they thought that since I live an easy life I must’ve joked to someone about kms instead of actually being s******l. I told them that no, I was actually suıcidal so my dad just responded by saying ‘then why don’t you just kilł yourself, our burden may reduce’. Same guy two years prior to that threatened me with a knife because one of my friends told my parents I was sūicidal 🥰
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago
The more I hear about your parents the more I worry about you. Do you have relatives you could live with? A friend's family that you could move in with? You should document this a***e and report it to the authorities. I have no idea what you culture is like, I hope their actions are not normalised where you live?
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Someone else having it worse doesn't mean it still isn't bad for you. Twice people at work have said to me "It can't be that bad" when I was looking sad - on both occasions I'd just found out a colleague had died, so yes, it can be that bad. On the flip side: when my brother developed MS, his attitude has been not to worry about what he can't do, but focus on what he still can. That approach may help some people, although obviously not all.
Stephanie Emmerich 1 week ago
I can think of several, but the most W*F was probably when I was at my Grandmother's funeral, and a friend texted me to tell me how bad their day was going. And yes, she knew I was at my grandmother's funeral.
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