46 Boyfriends And Husbands Who Raised The Bar Too High For Other Men

When it comes to thinking of the right gift, there are plenty of factors to consider. What the person enjoys, what is the message you want to express and how to surprise them with it. We already talked about how some people ended up getting the worst gifts ever and what were the mistakes behind them. If you wish to avoid getting involved in such stories, just remember that there are two main goals when it comes to buying things for your loved ones: to make them happy and to strengthen your relationship.

In order to achieve them, you have to come up with a memorable gift that will show how much you care about them. Usually, people think that the most special gifts are the ones they come up with themselves. But more often than not, people tend to be happier when they receive something they actually wished for. So the obvious solution is to ask them directly, although it may seem like failing in the thoughtfulness area. 

Often, spending so much time thinking of the perfect gift can really make you feel anxious. What if the person will think this is a terrible gift? Or what if others will buy something better? When it comes to this, there’s always a social risk involved. A thoughtful gift can strengthen your relationship and make you feel even more connected to each other than you were before. A bad gift can do the opposite.

Research shows that undesirable gifts can have an impact on the way we see our partners or spouses. Gifting plays a big role in determining if there’s a similarity in tastes and interests between the two people. After a couple of experiments with 62 participants, it became clear that the things we buy have an influence on how we see the future of our relationships, and sometimes not in a good way.

When people received an undesirable gift, "men viewed themselves as relatively dissimilar from their girlfriend and reported a more negative outlook on the relationship’s future. Women responded to their boyfriend’s poor gift choice by inflating their reports of similarity to him, leaving their relationship outlook intact," the researchers explained.  

"Although we suggest that this gender difference emerged because women marshaled psychological defenses in response to the threat posed by receiving a bad gift, it is possible that women were less displeased with the bad gift than were men."

If done right, gift-giving can actually be one of the best ways to manifest your love. In 1992, Gary Chapman released a best-selling book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate which revolutionized the way we can see our relationships. According to him, there are five romantic ways people give and receive love: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation and gift-giving. 

And today, we are particularly interested in the gift-giving one. It means that we actually "speak" through the way we choose and give presents to our better halves. This does not mean that people who identify themselves with this love language are constantly buying statement gifts and doing grand gestures. It’s mostly about small tokens and cute surprises and not about greediness at all. 

Mark Williams, a licensed mental health counselor and relationship coach said, "If you or your partner’s love language is gifts, that means you feel loved [or that you’re demonstrating love] with a tangible item." It doesn’t matter if it’s a pair of comfy Christmas socks or a brand new car, the important thing is the idea behind it—showing that you are always on their mind. There’s also a sentimental value to it, because every time you’ll look at the present, it will remind you of the experience. 

It’s not always easy to determine what love language your partner prefers most. “We often speak the love language to our partners that we ourselves want to receive. Meaning, if your partner buys you an album two days after you talk about how much you love a new band, or gets you a subscription to a magazine they think you’d like, it’s likely that their love language is gift giving,” Williams explained.

Also, if your SO is extremely enthusiastic about the gifts they received from you and brag about them to their friends, that’s also a pretty obvious sign that gifts could be their preferred love language. "If you pass a bakery every day on the way home from work, look at it through the lens of ‘My partner really feels loved when I bring them gifts’ and stop in for a pastry before heading home. They don’t have to be big purchases, and they don’t have to be all the time," Williams suggested. 

If your other half’s love language is gifts, it might be really beneficial for you as well because it turns out that giving might be even better than receiving. According to research in Psychological Science, it seems that happiness does not decline or at least decline slower for those, who repeatedly gave gifts to others, compared to people who received those same gifts over and over again. 

"If you want to sustain happiness over time, past research tells us that we need to take a break from what we’re currently consuming and experience something new," Ed O’Brien, experimental social psychologist and co-author of the research, said. "Repeated giving, even in identical ways to identical others, may continue to feel relatively fresh and relatively pleasurable the more that we do it."

One of the experiments that researchers did was giving 96 university students $5 every day for 5 days to spend on the exact same thing every time. They were randomly selected to spend the money on themselves or on someone else and at the end of each day, they reflected on their experience and overall happiness. And it showed a clear pattern: "Those who spent money on themselves reported a steady decline in happiness over the 5-day period. But the happiness did not seem to fade for those who gave their money to someone else." 

One reason behind this seems to be that people who focus on the outcome, like getting paid or receiving a gift, tend to become less affected by the experience itself. However, when people focus on the action, they are not thinking about or comparing the outcomes but rather focus on the experience which brings them happiness.

Looking through the list makes you think that these boyfriends and husbands should feel just as happy and excited as the sweethearts who were pleasantly surprised by such thoughtful and wholesome gifts. But remember, the most precious thing you can give your significant other is actually pretty simple: your attention and your love.