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People Are Sharing What Happened To The Smartest Kids In Their Class
Being deemed a “gifted” child can be a blessing and a curse. It can be a great confidence booster to hear you’re excelling in school and that your teachers see a bright future ahead of you. But it can also come with immense pressure to exceed expectations and have all the right answers. And what happens when these kids grow up?
Redditors have recently been discussing where their most promising classmates ended up, so we’ve gathered the juiciest replies below. From changing the world with scientific discoveries to dropping out of college and abandoning academics altogether, enjoy reading through these surprising stories. And keep reading to find a conversation with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Vicki Botnick!
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#1
I'll break the mold here from the burnt out gifted kid sterotype.
He got a PhD from a very prestigious university, worked for Google on one of their flagship products, married a Medical Doctor, quit Google and semi-retired. He's mostly a stay at home dad now and does some occasional consulting work part time.
What, I'm not jealous... you're jealous. Seriously though the guy deserved every bit of what he has.
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To learn more about this topic, we got in touch with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Vicki Botnick. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how being deemed "gifted" can impact a person.
"Being identified as gifted can give a child the advantages of pride, extra resources, and a chance to be accurately challenged academically. However, the label can also be a burden," the expert shared.
"Kids who are singled out as exceptional often put a lot of pressure on themselves to maintain the sense of being special. In addition, parents can add to the pressure, either by overtly having high expectations, or by more subtly indicating that they value the label highly," Vicki explained. "Suddenly there’s something to live up to."
#4
She opened her own cafe in a neighboring town and employs people with disabilities. She graduated as valedictorian in high school and later, top 10% at Yale.
#5
The smartest kid in my class was also very disciplined and emotionally stable. I lost track of him in the last 20 years, but a quick Google search says he graduated from Stanford and started a biotech company.
#6
There were two of us.
J had rich parents and went to an Ivy League school, got a law degree, spent some time working for the AG of Guam and while I have no idea what he's up to now, he's very successful.
I was poor. They took my Ritalin away, my grades dropped. I became depressed, got profiled because of my depression as a potential school shooter in the wake of Columbine, and eventually dropped out of school. I only finally went back to college because of the pandemic, where I'm working toward the goal of a doctorate in psychology.
Vicki also says parents sometimes inadvertently project their own insecurities and dreams onto their kids. "Many communities put a lot of emphasis on childhood accomplishments, and parents might get drawn into comparisons and one-upmanship for their own self-image. This adds to the weight of expectations on kids who are on the highest achievement track."
"Giftedness can also come with some inner challenges. A very bright and sensitive child, the type often referred to as 'an old soul,' might be trying to manage increased awareness and intellect, while still being developmentally a little kid, often one with social challenges," the therapist shared. "They might be thinking about big topics (religion, death, morality) before they are really capable of making sense of these issues, which can lead to anxiety and rumination."
#7
There were 2 geniuses in my class. One became a neurosurgeon, the other opened a candle store.
#8
He went to university studying math. After a while he decided that the teachers didn't know math like he did. They did not respect and love it. He got furious and quit. He got some good jobs in investment banking, quit them because they did not respect the math.
Last I heard he was some sort of janitor at a research facility. Apparently very well liked since he can solve any ones math problems. Guess they respect it enough.
I think he is on the spectrum...
"To be thought of as exceptional and stand out fairly easily can set a child up for disappointment as they age," Vicki warns. "Many children at the top of their class move on to more competitive environments where, eventually, every person there is a former gifted child. Sometimes, it’s a tough transition from being a top performer to being one of the crowd, and can bring on feelings of imposter syndrome, lower self-esteem, or increased pressure to excel."
#10
The smartest I never heard from again but the last time I saw him he learned fluent Chinese as his third language. The second became a hard left activist. The third smartest became a dentist.
#11
I work at a pet store, highest GPA voted most likely to succeed, almost skipped grades but I was extremely socially inept and parents thought that would only make it worse. IQ tested at 164, was tested for eidetic memory (don’t have one just insanely good recall). Went to college for Physics and Mathematics. Junior year I had a series of psychotic episodes and was later diagnosed with schizophrenia. Dropped out of college, found that animals help with my anxiety and depression, keep me a bit more leveled overall so I stuck with it. It would be pretty cool to have my own store but economy is s**t so ya know just kinda cruising.
#12
She was constantly stressed out by her family pressuring her to get a 4.0 GPA and get a full ride to a good school and then immediately did nothing with it because then she was pushed to marry some guy who was a total washout but got a job through his dad.
That family was s**t and I kind of stopped checking in when I moved away from the area. No idea what came of her in the end. She was very smart, but I don't think I ever saw her happy.
EDIT: Sad to say there were also a lot of cruel jokes about her among the class cause she was so busy with church stuff and studying she never had time for friends and never seemed to know what to do with other people. Poor girl was basically a spectator sport in high school. Not very proud of that now.
The therapist noted that one common effect of giftedness comes from the message from the world that you’re valued if things come easy to you. "Kids learn at an young age (in California, second graders are tested for giftedness) that they are considered special for things that come naturally to them," she explained. "Later, when the work gets harder and they need to put more effort in, they sometimes interpret this as meaning they are 'dumber.'"
"Some avoid the subjects that they struggle with, because having to work hard at something doesn’t fit into their positive self-definition," Vicki shared. "They worry that failing at something, which everyone does at first with a difficult task, might expose them as not as bright."
#13
I was sure he would become a scientist however he got into music and toured with The Who as a musician and sound guy for the past 20 years.
#14
My brother had a friend in elementary school who turned out to be a super genius and skipped a few grades. That kid graduated in my highschool class at 13 years old.
4 years later and he's already got a Masters, co-wrote some papers, and is leading a nano-tech project at a VERY reputable university.
#15
He became an attorney, a well known member of the local LGBTQ community, and was my very best friend for 28 years. He died in a horrible car accident two years ago. His legacy lives on in part by an LGBTQ scholarship for the law school he attended.
So how can parents and teachers support these children without putting too much pressure on them?
"Instead of focusing on measures of achievement, parents and teachers can encourage bright kids by letting them follow their curiosity at their own pace," Vicki told Bored Panda. "By using praise that focuses on effort rather than accomplishment ('You worked so hard on this' rather than 'Wow you did that so quickly'), they promote values that will serve the child throughout their development, rather than reinforcing a false sense of virtuosity."
#16
He went on to become an eye surgeon. He married the most beautiful woman in San Francisco and they had three amazing boys.
#17
It was often me, so I'll tell ya
I got depressed, turned into a smoker/alcoholic, and dropped out of high school.
Then i worked s****y restaurant jobs, continued being a smoker/alcoholic, and did a bunch of d***s. I also got my GED.
Then i went to rehab
I moved out to the country and the only things that have changed are that i dont do d***s, weed started giving me panic attacks, and i dont have a job.
I never properly learned how to drive. I have zero social skills.
But i can cook fairly well and I'm planning on going to community college in the fall. I'll be 24 when that starts.
Essentially, life got to be too much even without responsibilities and i turned into a deadbeat do-nothing
The person who wasnt inherently smart but worked her a*s off to get good grades and learn things? Extremely successful comparatively and is now a newscaster on one of the big stations around here. I envy her. But she also grew up with a stable family and decent support and social skills, so.
#18
They studied Maths and Psycology, wrote the master thesis about Maths in English (not our mother tongue) and now works at a uni renowned for their Maths department.
"Schools that offer gifted kids extra resources and a chance to work in a less restrictive way can hone not only achievement-oriented results like good grades, but the more impactful characteristics like open mindedness and creativity," Vicki added. "In general we’d like to have high expectations of our children to work hard, gain confidence and leadership abilities, and be excited about learning, rather than focusing on outer trappings of success like high GPAs, trophies, college acceptances and resume building."
#20
He got into med school, hated it and then dropped out. Then he became a Drag Queen for a short time. Then he joined some kind of non-profit organization for troubled youth. Then he moved to Paris with his husband and got into modeling. Now he works for OECD in France.
He's done pretty well by all accounts.
#21
The smartest kid in my class denied a full ride to Harvard to become a priest only to die 1 day after becoming a priest (got hit by a car).
All of the top 10 smart kids stayed in our hometown and are making less than 50k a year or are d***gies.
The bottom 10 of my class are all successful, making over 100k yearly.
#22
He dropped out of a prestigious, very expensive college junior year because he didn’t understand why he was going into debt for a piece of paper. He joined the navy. Had the government pay him to go get his undergrad and masters. There were lots of sucky years on a submarine, too, but now he’s pretty high up in rank working in the pentagon. Smartest guy I’ve ever met and is beyond hard working.
#23
He moved to the states to play soccer and ended up going to Penn State. He is a software developer and is doing quite well.
#24
Texas public school. He went to Yale and got a degree in economics. Works in DC now for a state rep. Getting into an MIT asynchronous then in person graduate program.
He is/was my best friend.
#25
Hopefully he got his lights punched out at some point. He was always was pulling, "Oh, you got 82 on your test? I only got 98. I [be bad]." humble brag horses**t.
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