Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
30 Disturbing Rules Parents Made Kids Follow That They Only Realized Were Weird Later On In Life
Interview With Expert
Rules are good for a family. They shape how its members treat each other and interact with the world, ensuring that their values align with their actions.
However, what works for one person might seem cuckoo to the next—even if they share the same last name!
We wanted to learn more about these differences and, in doing so, discovered a few Quora threads where people have been sharing things about their households that they thought were normal while growing up but later realized were pretty weird.
Continue scrolling to check them out and don't miss the chat we had with our parenting expert Vicki Broadbent.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
It wasn’t a rule but it was an obvious expectation for me not to bother my parents whether that was asking a question or most days even waving to them as a greeting or when leaving the house. It was obvious because the few times I did ask or tell them something they’d either ask why I was talking with them or ignore it (my father usually ignored while ma would tell me to just do it next time).
That meant everything from making my own dinner every night while getting myself to bed and off to school each day, and just going to papas every summer vacation was to be done without even mentioning it. I did just that and they never bothered to send a card or even call papas to make sure I got/was there though I’d be there over 60 consecutive days in the summer plus many vacations throughout the year.
It wasn’t weird to me since it was all I knew but once I became a parent I realized that I didn’t like it nor find it appropriate for any parent or child to do.
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
That's bizarre. What kind of people were the parents any why did they have a child at all ?
Full of Giggles 10 months ago
They weren’t parents. They were crappy babysitters.
Load More Replies...
Richard Iachetta 10 months ago
I hope you don't let your parents see your children without you being present They will treat them the same way. I wouldn't see them at all. There should be consequences for their behavior.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I’m so so very sorry you had to live that that what awful parents you had I was bought up with my grandparents I’m 60 and they where so kind n loving it makes my heart break to hear things like this it really does my 23-20 yrs old kids have been bought up loved to as it should be ❤️blessed be x
We were interested in some good examples, so we asked Vicki Broadbent, an award-winning TV broadcaster and the creator of the family lifestyle blog Honest Mum, how she approaches rules in her own home.
Vicki has a toddler, a tween, and a teen, and she told Bored Panda she's usually pretty flexible.
"As children grow, mature and their needs change, so, for example, bedtimes get progressively later ... They still get the appropriate sleep for their age, of course, but equally we allow them to stay up later during the holidays when they're off school and they wake later too." The same applies to other areas.
"We do expect them to consistently help with chores but exceptions are made for celebratory days like Christmas and their birthdays. I've raised all three of my children in the Montessori way so they've been helping with age-appropriate tasks from a young age," the mom explained.
RELATED:
#2
I had to be in by midnight, but if my friends dropped me off one minute after midnight, my stepfather wouldn’t let me in. So I’d have to get back in their car, and get dropped off at the ice-skating rink, the movie theatre, or find one of my friends to go home with. This was a stepfather who was trying to drive me out; I guess I just didn’t know that yet. I moved out soon enough, at sixteen, rented a house soon after. Got a job. Worked for me. I had a lonely Christmas. I missed my three little sisters, and my little brother, and my mother, but no one cared about me. They were my stepfather’s kids. My mother was my stepfather’s wife. After I was able to gain perspective, I understood how one-sided my relationships had been, and everything turned out great for me. If someone doesn’t love you back, you don’t need to be all shocked to find out, and crestfallen. They never did, and you were happy before, when you didn’t know, weren’t you? So be happy still. Nothing’s changed, except your realization, and you might as well know the truth.
Schmebulock 10 months ago
That was horrible treatment, but who lets a kid under 16 have a midnight curfew?
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I left home at 16 ! in uk you could do that I’m 60 so back then given my home life leaving was the best option but other than that no one well it’s mostly 11 pm
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
Another example of failure of step - families. God help these poor kids.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
As a step mother three times I’d never have done this ! My stepmother however well !hence when I had to go n live with them at 15 I was outta there at 16 N no my father didn’t leave my mother for her mine died when I was 8 mths old (his fault ) it’s not all step families are like it at all though !
Load More Replies...
Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
The wicked stepparent memes in Western culture are there for a reason. In the US, at least, unadopted stepchildren have very few rights if natural parent unalives or otherwise disappears
#3
Once when our daughter was very young, I almost shut her hand in a car door. It was 40 years ago and car seat were ridiculously easy for kids to get out. After that I made a game of “stick your fingers in your ears” when I went to close the door. I did this because if the fingers were in the ears, they weren’t in the door. Unknown to me, she thought a closing door would hurt her ears which she found out it didn’t when she was with a friend. She said she felt stupid.
Detroit Citizen 10 months ago
I had two misfortunes with my daughter and car seats. First, I did slam her fingers in the door. So the game was "hold em up' (hold your hands above your head as i buckle you in). Second, I smacked her head putting her in the car (yeah I was that dad lol). She made the game, hands on your head. (put her hand on her head when i was putting her in her in the car and while I was buckling her in the car seat). We laugh because she was smarter than me creating her own second game and that way I wouldnt smack her head getting her in the car lol. Shes been smarter than me since being a toddler lol. Love her to pieces.
Tiger 10 months ago (edited)
When I was a toddler I apparently got an ice cream headache at a restaurant and started crying. The amazing waitress came over and taught that if I stuck my lips out and blew out loudly to make a “brrrrrr” noise like a horse while while rubbing my lips up and down with one finger (idk how else to explain it but it makes a goofy sound haha) it would make my ice cream headache go away. I have no memory of this moment (and apparently she was just trying to make me laugh so I’d stop crying) but I still did this for years every time I got an ice cream headache because I thought it was an actual thing 😂 fast forward to high school when I got an ice cream headache in front of my whole class….
Chicken Mitten 10 months ago
I stuck my fingers in the "shag" that ran on either side of the parking brake. We stopped at the store and my mom yanked the brake and was shocked to hear the screaming coming from her daughter's bloody hand.
A YouGov survey of 1,000 American adults discovered that 38% of them felt that their parents were somewhat (or much) stricter when it came to rules compared to those of other children their age at the time.
A similar share (36%) of Americans say their parents' overall strictness was about average.
Only 18% of Americans say their parents were somewhat (or more) lenient than other children’s parents.
One might think that about as many people would have grown up in households with above- and below-average-leniency, but that's not how it looks to adults in retrospect.
#4
I was not allowed to hang out with black friends outside of school. According to my mother, it was perfectly fine to be friendly towards them at school, but it was not appropriate to spend time with them in public or in their home or mine.
As a young child, I accepted this as the way of the world. As I grew a little older I began to question this rule, and my mom justified it by saying it wasn't black *kids* she was afraid of, but their parents. She didn't want me in a home where I was under the supervision of parents that she did not trust or approve of (nevermind that she had never met them).
I offered for her to meet the parents of my (black) best friend in the third grade, Julia, but she was not interested. Now, I went to a very mixed high school, with a population that was about 60% black. Most of my friends were black as a result, and at the risk of being called racist I basically didn't hang out with *anyone* outside of school, black or white. My first boyfriend was white and my mom approved, of course—he was an honor student like me and lived in a decent neighborhood. But when we had our first kiss, I felt nothing—i may as well have been homosexual. I broke up with him shortly after and my mother was baffled. "But you both seemed so happy!"
As I started to go through puberty and become an adult, I realized that most of my sexual feelings were towards black men and I didn't know how to explain this to my mother. She was disgusted and I tried my best to be open with her but it was impossible. Only now was I beginning to realize the depth of my mothers racism, when she told me she would never attend a biracial wedding and would not be a grandmother to mixed children.
I ended up leaving home (in suburban Michigan) to pursue a new life in New York and I'm now beginning to find my path and my goals in life—i still try to convince my mother that the color of someone's skin doesn't determine whether they are a good person. I've been with plenty of people of many colors, good and bad. But I hope that now, raising my two younger sisters, she has done away with her "weird rule."
Ace 10 months ago
Well yes, but the whole thread is about "Weird rules" , which is why he put it in quotes.
Load More Replies...
Sir Richard Fiddler The LXIXth 10 months ago
After the worlds worst princable award... Worlds worst mom award goes to you. Help her up stage, make sure everyone boos her.
Deborah 10 months ago
My dad said that his high school - this was in the 30s - was mostly Jewish, the next biggest group was black, and the minority was white. Most of his friends were black. Color was irrelevant in my household.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
We all bleed the same colour and we are all human ! Your mother is the epitome of a racist ! so glad you choose to leave and move away blessed be lovely x
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 10 months ago
Substitute any insult or degrading word that implies stupid and hateful. Instead if the word weird for this one.
#5
That it was ok to use swear words as long as we rhymed them. Seriously. F**k a duck, s**t a brick, it was ok because it rhymed. That didn't work so well in school though.
Child of the Stars 10 months ago
I like it. It prevents using swear words in a hurtful way towards others. I allow my kids to use swear words as long as they don't swear at people (they can't say f.uck you, for example) or use derogatory terms for a person or group.
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
That's fine by me. My mum didn't let me use the F word, but s**t a brick was commonly used by lots of people in Australia in the '50s - '80s. No big deal.
Full of Giggles 10 months ago
I’m guessing “not here to f**k spiders” was not permitted?
Load More Replies...
Regardless of how strict their parents were, most Americans say there was control over multiple areas of their lives—three in four report they had rules for doing chores, and the same share said they had a curfew.
Most Americans also say they grew up with several school-related rules such as getting good grades (71%) and doing homework (71%), as well as rules around consuming alcohol (69%) or smoking (68%).
Additionally, half of Americans (50%) say they grew up with rules around dating, and 40% were instructed what they could or couldn't do with their hair or makeup.
#6
From third grade onward I could stay up as late as I wanted as long as I was quiet As a result, I fixed an old broken tv that my dad found and wired up some military surplus headphones I bought in place of the speaker. I’d watch tv until midnight, which, at the time, was when broadcasting normally stopped.
Bookworm 10 months ago
As the parents, I might be impressed enough with the kid's ingenuity to not even care
Manic Mama 10 months ago
As the parent who has a child as out-of-the-box as this, I have often felt myself be torn between being the 'responsible parent' and being impressed out of my socks.
Load More Replies...
#7
I wasn’t allowed to say words or phrases that were substitutions for curse words, like darn, dang, crud or shoot. According to my mom, saying these words was just as bad as swearing, because in your heart you really intended to curse. I still instinctively avoid cursing around my mother to this day.
Tiger 10 months ago (edited)
I feel like using a slightly better version of any word (like shite instead of shít or unalived instead of died) doesn’t actually make much of a difference because everyone is still thinking of what exact word or concept you meant to use or reference. No one is “protected” from the big scary word or concept because they’re literally still thinking of it. Saying “unalived” doesn’t protect people from being triggered by the word “died” because “unalived” means the exact same thing.
Upstaged75 10 months ago
My dad used to try and cover up curse words when we were kids. He'd trip over something and say shi...nola. (No idea what shinola is) or god d...bless America. We thought it was funny because we already knew the words he was trying not to say. As an adult my brother does a hilarious impression of my dad's faux swearing.
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
A religious friend wouldn't allow her kids to say what I consider innocuous curse words, such as c**p, but she herself listened to some (awful IMHO) rap music in the car, which included phrases such as " mother f***er" ! Go figure.
ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
When I was in a ridiculous Christian school we were reading Ramona and she was "jeez" and apparently that's blasphemy. I was...so confused.
Load More Replies... 
Crescent 3 10 months ago
I had a friend like this in school. She came from a very religious family. Her parents called it "Shoot Cussing" (as in saying "Shoot as opposed to "S**t") Her parents taught her that even if you didn't say the curse word, the fact that you thought it and substituted a similar word was just as bad a sin. We re-connected on Facebook several years ago. She's now 60 years-old and is still that way. She's also that way about alcohol, to the point where she won't even put wine in her spaghetti sauce.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I never swore to my father or in front of him until I was 46 n then the it went blue believe me cos I’d found out an evil truth but I don’t mind swearing by my 23-20 yr old kids I’m now 60 but I loath the c word that I won’t allow
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
My mother had a kind of weird halfway approach to this. We could say something like "sugar" or "fudge". But if I said "Frak" (Battlestar Galactica was big when I was a kid) that was a no-no because it mean "F**k" according to her. Such a weird double standard, and honestly "frak" meant nothing beyond darn/damn/blast because BSG never had two characters saying "I want to frak you so hard" ;) I also remember Dad telling me that swearing should just be used for when it's really warranted. So don't swear because you didn't get the flavour of icecream you wanted, but if you smashed your thumb with a hammer saying "S**t" was appropriate.
Another thing about rules is that they get broken—or at least challenged. As children realize they have a voice, they begin seeking more independence from their parents, testing the boundaries that were set up for them.
Vicki Broadbent also experiences this in her own family. "There is push-back on rules, especially from my teenager," the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) said.
"It's important to understand tweens and teens are going through puberty and equally might have friendship woes or homework and exam stress, so during high-stress periods, we would limit chores and also understand if they didn't feel able to help," she explained. "As long as for the most part, they are helping out, we're happy. We want our kids to have a fun childhood too so it's a balance!"
If only every parent did.
#8
Long but I hope interesting:
Beginning when I was very young 7 or 8, my step-father and mother would take my sister and I to small country stores, restaurants and beer joints (small, dirty, drunks only bars) far into the countryside.
The unnamed “towns” were groupings of a few houses with a combination grocery store and beer joint. Usually a gas station and a tiny Baptist church.
The stores were tiny, gloomy and carried a few groceries, very cheap toys and trinkets. The beer joints (country bars) were for serious drunks and only sold beer and the cheapest rot-gut whiskey called hooch and a limited selection of soft drinks. Unshelled peanuts and pickled eggs were the only food available.
No matter how many bills went unpaid, minimal food bought and clothing was not purchased, they always had enough money to spend hours drinking on weekends and sometimes during the week also.
The beer joints were always small, dark and dirty. They would take us with them. We would either spend hours in the car or play inside on the floor. We would take barbies or board games or books.
We played on the floor among the chewing tobacco juice, mud, spilled beer and whiskey, cigarette and cigar butts, ashes and who knows what else. I don't think the floors were ever cleaned. In fact, there was dust and grime on all horizontal surfaces.
We would always go to the grocery store . While there, we were expected, actually required to steal something.
When we finally left, we would go to the car to compare “who got what”. I was young but knew stealing was wrong so I always took the cheapest thing I could find.
If my sister or I did not steal anything, we would be spanked. I don't mean a little smack on the butt. No, these were beat you on the butt until it was swollen deep red. We be barely able to breathe from crying and screaming so hard. We had to steal two things the next time.
They would continue drinking when we got home.
This was but one rule of many. I'll save the others for another question.
#9
When eating out at a restaurant, everyone has to order something different so that everyone can taste everything. My kids still think that's what everyone does!
Schmebulock 10 months ago (edited)
Uhh...they are your kids and you can change that now. You don't want them being some weirdos trying to sample off other people's plates.
SadieCat17 (she/her) 10 months ago
You can just teach them the importance of asking permission without having to overcorrect so far. For me, meals are a bonding activity and there's no reason not to share if everyone is having fun.
Load More Replies... 
Janissary35680 10 months ago
In effect everybody does mind their own plate. Dishes with food are brought from the kitchen and put at the center of the table (which is often round) within reach of everyone. Every dish has its own serving utensil. Eaters use that to transfer a portion to their own plate. Often the dishes are put on a circular platform that can be rotated in situations like this.
Load More Replies...
Sandra Angulo 10 months ago
I don’t think it’s a bad idea unless you’re strict about it. Like it’s good for the kids to try all types of different food, but if they want the same thing don’t force it.
Janissary35680 10 months ago (edited)
Not so. I know for a fact it's done in restaurants offering Turkish cuisine and probably most Mediterranean cuisines as well. It's an altogether different style of eating.
Load More Replies... #10
RUNNING IN A RACE. Something that is taught by almost every parent. School should be over by 17–18. Graduation should be done by 20–21. Post graduation should be completed by 22–23 By 25 you should be doing a perfect job with handsome salary. By 26–27 you should get married, and have kids by 30. Why? With time I realised, these things don't matter if you don't care. I realised these rules are empty, they have no meaning until you acknowledge the made-up meanings given by the society. As soon as I learnt to say I DON'T CARE, this rule that seemed normal started looking absurd. Liberate yourself from this weird rule. Tell that little kid who's still trapped inside, that you're an adult now, you have the right as well as the intelligence to form your own beliefs. Tell him/her to erase the rules stuffed by the society in that kid's mind. It's okay to let them go, if they don't make any sense. See yourself breathing a little more, living a little more, freely flying a little more. Life will become happier.
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 10 months ago
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years Then they expect you to pick a career When you can't really function you're so full of fear... {John Lennon}
SadieCat17 (she/her) 10 months ago
Well the party of strict societal roles and conformity is trying to dissolve the department of education, so maybe that's not the right call either.
Load More Replies... #11
We had to announce to the rest of the family any time we were going to use the bathroom, and how long we thought we’d be in there. This was because we only had one bathroom and my father got really mad at us if we interrupted him while he was in there, or if my sister was in there for a long time, as she tended to do when she was a teen.
Some of my fondest memories from childhood are of my sister knocking on the door to get into the bathroom, like it was an emergency, shortly after my father went in there. It was never really an emergency. She just needed to fix her hair or something.
My dad: [Goes into bathroom, newspaper in hand.] Thirty seconds later, my sister comes out of her room and starts knocking like crazy on the bathroom door. My dad: [Godammit I just got in here! Leave me alone!] So, every time any of us needed to use the bathroom for any reason, we’d stand in front of it and say, loud enough for everyone in the house to hear, something like: “I’m going to the bathroom now! I’ll be in there for about ten minutes!” Then we’d pause, in case someone wanted to use it quickly before we went in there.
I didn’t realize until I was an adult that announcing to your family that you were going to the bathroom wasn’t a normal thing to do.
Dragon mama 10 months ago
We do a version of this in my household because, again, one bathroom for a family of five. But we only do it when someone's getting in the shower Ior thinks they'll be in there for a long time.
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
Not a bad idea, and it's kinda courteous to the rest of the family.
Load More Replies... Betsy S 10 months ago
We always do this if we're going to be in there for an extended period of time. Anyone can hold it while someone quickly uses the toilet, but if you're going to shower you have to let people know. Same as if you're going to put on a load of laundry because it affects the water supply throughout the house for an hour.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I only do the washing early morning lol n while kids are at work as I know my daughter 23 will want a shower between shifts or if she needs stuff washed at night she does it then as im done by three pain says I gotta lie down so that’s not an issue but yes that cos its not fun if you in shower n some I e uses cold tap is it 😂🙈
Load More Replies... 
ILoveMySon 10 months ago (edited)
As one of five girls, I can relate. We all got ready in our bedrooms.
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
I was an only child, so we were a family of 3. We also did this, although in Australia, it's called a " dunny ".
#12
For several years when I was a child, I attended an ultra-conservative “hellfire and brimstone” type of Christian school (of Lutheran denomination); as such, I was taught many things and given many rules which were weird (and hateful, nonsensical, and often downright silly or obnoxious) but which seemed normal to me…up until a defining period in my young life.
Every Wednesday, all students from grades 1 through 8 attended mass at the on-campus church; we were seated by grade in ascending order (first graders up in front, eighth graders at the far back), and one of the many sermons I distinctly remember was a rule about how animals go to hell. “Every time a bird chirps, it worships Jesus,” the pastor declared in his stern, self-assured manner as he stood high above us on the foreboding church podium. “Every time your dog or cat greets you, they worship Jesus. However, because they do not know that they are worshipping Jesus—” he continued without missing a beat, looking down at us in the pews and frequently turning to make unnerving eye contact,“—they will go to hell when they die. You must repent your sins and accept Christ as your savior; then and only then will God grant you the chance to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Because animals cannot do these things, they will burn in hell for all eternity.” Many of the younger children seated in the front rows began crying (imagining their beloved pets suffering in hell, I imagine) while my peers seated around me were intently listening to his every word and regarding it as gospel. This was absolutely normal - for them. I, on the other hand, at around age 7, was starting to develop a healthy skepticism about sermons such as this. I grew increasingly aware of the fact that his arguments and the school’s religious views & rules were terrible. I didn’t have an adult’s experience or knowledge, but I had imagination & intuition, and I knew in my heart that this speech was hateful, unfounded, and not in the true spirit of Christianity. It was a defining period of my life during which I realised that I was part of a very small minority of the people I knew and regularly interacted with, both peers and adults. What the majority found normal, I found shallow, craven, and cynical; children were being spoon-fed rules about the universe which boiled its vast complexities down to mere binaries - good & evil, right & wrong, black & white.
While I am not a religious person, I do not outright deny the existence of a god (whatever that concept means to you) because I cannot know. We are all ignorant of whether God or gods exist and are merely fumbling through this life trying to make sense of higher mysteries such as these, let alone getting by on a day-to-day basis. I do know that if I was capable of believing in God in a conventional, nonsecular manner, I wouldn’t think of it/him/her as something to be feared, but something to be loved and to have faith in. I cannot wrap my mind around the mentality of that pastor and those teachers at that school (nor those kinds of Christians) who preached about a wrathful, vengeful god who nonetheless loves everyone yet condemns innocent animals and people who disagree with its rules to hell to suffer for all eternity. Suffice to say, many of the staff members and other students at this school were very narrow-minded, cruel, and psychologically & physically abusive - that period of my life is as close to hell as I can conceive of from personal experience.
I know this doesn’t address your question exactly the way it was worded, but I felt a strong desire to share this slice of my personal life because of how profound an effect it had on me. As traumatic as my experiences at that school were, they did teach me to be a very critical, analytical, and fiercely independent thinker, and for that much, I am grateful. I’m not the only person who’s been through these types of experiences either, and we owe it to ourselves as active participants of this world to question everything we’re told, whether it be from religious institutions, elected officials, the media, our teachers & mentors, and even our friends & family. Life, the Universe, God - concepts such as these are far too abstract & complex to be quantified and categorized in neat little preconceived boxes that define the way we see the world, the people & institutions which comprise it, and what happens to us after we die.
fzc8yxyj75 10 months ago
I was told by my religious education teacher (uk), that every time I committed a sin a black spot would appear on my soul, and when it was totally black then god couldn’t see me any more. What a terrible thing to say to a young child. My mother was told that her miscarried babies would languish in purgatory for ever. Wonder why my family isn’t religious. As for the animals, I never heard that one but it’s just horrifying.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 10 months ago
ive grown up being told that animals go to hell, then i got in trouble by my grandmother because when my dog died, i said that i was going to make sure to go to hell so i can see my dog again
Load More Replies...
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
Shocking BS to tell children. Isn't being a Christian all about love for all living things ? It sure is in Buddhism, which is a religion ( although I prefer to think of it as a life philosophy ) based on love, kindness and compassion for all " sentient " beings.
Wayne Hallam 10 months ago
It should be, but a lot of people get hung up on the rules in the old testament and completely miss that the new testament completely invalidated all of them.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
Eugh bible bashers do my head in ! I used to have to go to Sunday school uk despite not being christened lol still am not at 60 I’m a Wiccan white witch n animals do not go to hell they go to beautiful rainbow bridge fact !
Dilly Dally 10 months ago
Oh my goodness gracious... Dude I would be bawling my eyes out. Of course, if you think of God, you should think a kind person. I'm not trying to persuade anyone to believe this, but in my church, we always say that Jesus is like God. You don't think of Jesus as someone who would let you burn in the underworld, right?
Bryn 10 months ago
@Deborah Finn Actually that's not true. Missouri and Wisconsin synods are much stricter than ELCA (the other major synod). Though calling it mass is weird (church services in the Lutheran tradition aren't "mass") but if it was a Wisconsin synod based school, yes it would be much stricter than the most likely ELCA Lutheran you were raised in
Cerridwn d'Wyse 10 months ago
Yeah. Calling in mass makes it seem fake. I was also raised Lutheran in a very liberal Lutheran environment.
Load More Replies...
#13
When I was younger if anything went slightly wrong in the house my sibling and I would all be spanked in turns until someone confessed, and then that person would get spanked again the same amount of times that we all already had been. For example, when i was maybe 10 my older sister (11) had a fake toy barbie box that could only be opened with a plastic credit card. one time my mother got mad at my sister and took the card away from her for about three months. So during this time the barbie box was essesntially a useless hunk of plastic. Then, one day, my mother decided to open the box and found a dirty tissue in it and she wanted to know who had put it there. Obviously none of us could remember cause A. we all always put stuff in the box and B. we were 11, 10, 8, 7, and 5. So my mom went on a rant about how liars burn in hell and theres no space in heaven for sinners and we all got spanked around 250ish times each until my younger sister said she did it. (she didnt and we still dont actually know who did). She confessed a lot because she was the nicest I guess and just got tired of it. Either way, that how we were punished for lying as kids.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 10 months ago
That freakish bi*ch of a parent needs the same treatment, then to be locked up for abuse.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
Full on sick twisted vile child abuse end off ! now a days you can get locked up for that as mother older mum two kids 23-20 n I’m 60 never once have I ever smacked my kids ever !
#14
We had a couch in the living room. But the living room was carpeted so I was not allowed to walk on the carpet. And thus I was not allowed to sit on the couch. I was repeatedly told that the couch was made from Z+3 fabric and that Z was “the best fabric money could buy” but that our poor family where every member was unemployed, living on social security from the time I was five, had somehow purchased one of these.
I was literally not allowed to sit on the couch for my first eighteen years. So imagine my shock and horror one day, when one of my friends comes over and sits on the couch. I must have been quivering in horror. He asked me what was wrong and assumed that I was joking when I told him. The rule was absurd but I had been raised and indoctrinated on its reasonableness and validity. I was also used to being beaten by my mom for much smaller infractions. I had never seen her beat a friend of mine but I was ready.
More shockingly she came home, greeted us, and said nothing about the fact that he was sitting on the couch. I was shocked. My friend had stood up to my mom and won. The gears began turning.
Twenty five years later my dad died and I went back to attend his funeral. The (presumably same) couch was still in my mom’s living room, though it was pulled away from the wall because the dog had developed a habit of walking behind the furniture and getting stuck. The result was that my mom’s house smelled severely of mold and urine and had all of the furniture pulled away from the walls like she was packing up to move out. But she wasn’t. This was simply logical to her.
I’ve long wondered if my mom is neurodiverse as my father was. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter but when I stumble upon memories like these and decisions upheld across decades, I feel so justified in how much I acted out during childhood.
Ace 10 months ago
"Neurodiverse" seems to be gaining ground as a label, a if to justify outlandish behaviour. No, they weren't neurodiverse, they were just as$holes.
Betsy S 10 months ago
I agree. Nothing about that behaviour screams ND to me. Just obviously brought up in a culture with rules that became incompatible with most other homes of the time.
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 10 months ago
My mother never let us sit on the living room furniture. To her, it was the ultimate in wealth and status. But we had a comfortable family room to lounge in. She’s 80 and lives in a two bedroom apartment with my dad. The living room is the best room in the place and is full of white furniture they never use. They sit and watch tv in a tiny den. I don’t get it.
Michael Mahoney 10 months ago
I delt with similar situations, my mother is a clean freak and the living room upstairs was the same, stay out of the living room, as we (kids)got older we could use the stereo but it was frowned upon to sit on the couch or chairs in this room. Mental!
Tiger 10 months ago
I had a friend with parents like that. They had a big house but almost the entire upstairs was off-limits and spotlessly clean. Apparently they never had guests over (according to my friend) so it was just a big waste of space that could have been lovely and comfy and used by a happy family.
Load More Replies... #15
The ceremonial manner in which we had to answer the phone: “Hoskinson residence, Andy speaking, may I help you, sir or ma’am?” This was because my father was an old-school career army officer. Everything was “yes sir, no sir,” and god forbid a senior officer call the house and hear a surly teenager answer the phone.
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
That's good training, especially for later in life. Being polite never hurts.
Pandemonium 10 months ago
I also had to answer with "Hoskinson residence, Andy speaking" which is really weird because my name is Richard Noggin.
Lost Panda 10 months ago
Um... I mean I get it's your house and all, but that's proper phone etiquette...
Betsy S 10 months ago
Ours was "Hello. This is (my name) speaking." Every time. If we ever just said hello, we'd get in trouble. I think this hearkens back to England when you paid for your call by the minute, so people would answer by reciting their phone number. That way you knew right away if you had a wrong number and could hang up quickly, keeping the charge low. As I'm first generation Canadian, I grew up with a lot of "Britishisms".
Tiger 10 months ago
Lol at a previous job I had to answer the phone with “good morning/afternoon, it’s all good at ____ in ____, you’ve reached Tiger in ____, thanks so much for calling! What can I help you with today? ☺️” in my own house it was like “uh….hullo? 😪”
Panda Panda Bo Banda 10 months ago
Tell you boss nobody wants to hear that long intro
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
In this day n age of scammer calls I only ever answer with hello ! I never say my name or my no if it’s landline as rings lol I know it’s always a scam call cos anyone really needs me it’s on my mobile which is by my side all time I can’t move around fast so I mostly answer the landline with a long sigh n a yes 😂
Margaret Shannon 10 months ago
I had to answer the phone that way, and was mocked by my peers for doing so. “Residence” seemed excessively posh to them.
#16
When my brother and I were outside playing my dad would whistle loudly to call us in. We would have to yell out “sir” to let him know we heard, and then we'd run home as quickly as we could… why yes, he was a DI, howd you know?
René Sauer 10 months ago
yeah, I dislike families where they make their kids call their parents sir/ma´am. It doesn´t feel like a family, but rather like... I dunno, something else.
Michael MacKinnon 10 months ago
Drill instructor, military. Think the Von Trapp family from the movie, but on steroids.
Load More Replies...
Wayne Hallam 10 months ago
We taught our kids to respond to whistles. In a crowded place if we lose them they may not hear us yell, but they will recognize their whistle pattern.
Mama Clare 10 months ago
My mom called us in, my dad would come find you and if you made eye contact with him you knew you had to go in. He never uttered a word. We would try to avoid eye contact with him 😂
Andi 10 months ago
Did similar with my kids - it meant i could trust them to wonder off in shops and look at things they were interested in (in my eye line, of course). its bad i know but I'd see some kid kicking off and call mine back 'just to check' and watch the other parents fume ... oh petty I know but such fun!
#17
I once worked with a woman who refused to let her children watch any Peanuts Cartoons. She claimed that the cartoons contained subliminal messages of anti-authoritarian and anti-government nature. Specifically the way all the adults voices were all muffled.
Tiger 10 months ago
Oh yeah my mom hated the Addams Family for some reason. Family Guy and South Park were ok but NO ADDAMS FAMILY 👿
Mother Lunatic 10 months ago
Probably because they were creepy and they were kooky...
Load More Replies...
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
WHAT ? Sounds like the mother was a conspiracy theorist. To the comment below by Tiger .... South Park was OK with all the swearing, violence and racism ? It's really an adult show. My family always watched the Adams family when it originally came out . Yes, I'm showing my age.
Bookworm 10 months ago
Same, but it was because they were badly behaved children. She didn't like Caillou or Miss BG for the same reason.
Load More Replies... #18
Any item that I selected for myself while we were out shopping had to be red. My siblings and I were each assigned different colors so that we could easily distinguish ownership of each item. I had a red toothbrush, cup, hairbrush, etc. I think that we tended to take it too far. I always selected red cherry lollipops and the others usually selected lollipops of their assigned color too, with each of us claiming that we had selected our favorite flavor.
Just stopping by 10 months ago
Not weird or disturbing. Sounds like a parenting hack to minimize fights and keep track of what belongs to which kid.
Tiger 10 months ago (edited)
My parents had 5 kids and did similar things. Everything I had was either blue or butterfly themed. (You’d think it would be tiger-themed but no, apparently I was a bit of a sneaky brat who liked to prank people and “no one suspects the butterfly.”)
Load More Replies...
Kiss Army 10 months ago (edited)
We had one bathroom growing up and me and my 4 siblings had an assigned color for our toothbrushes. Mine was green. After my husband and I had been married for over 10 years, we were at the store and I needed a new toothbrush but they didn't have any green so I told him we had to stop by another store on the way home. He asked my why it had to be green and it dawned on me that it didn't have to be green any more and I was so excited to pick out a different color. That was over 20 years ago and each time I get a new toothbrush, I pick whatever color trips my trigger but I have never had another green one!
Schmebulock 10 months ago
Sounds like a great way to mess up kids, because the parents are s****y.
Nicole Weymann 10 months ago
I do think they took it too far - but then again one of my nephews recently got out of underwear, because four of them have similar sizes, and he got the short end of the stick during recent washloads and sorting processes.Things are not named, because stuff gets handed down, too. The colour would scheme prevent that (but also: no handing down clothes to save money).
Load More Replies... ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
My parents also did this! I was red and my sister blue. There were just two of us so... could have at least let us pick which colour we wanted (green).
Joshua Russell 10 months ago
This is the kiddie version of the colors scene from Reservoir Dogs
#19
I wasn't allowed to answer the door, answer the phone, look through windows, or play outside before 3:00pm.
I was homeschooled in a state where doing so was perfectly legal, but still uncommon at the time. The few times we went to the store during the day, old women would follow us around and ask—with dark, disapproving looks—why we were not in school. The looks sometimes got darker when they were given the answer. My mother knew that nosy, helpful strangers could call CPS. She knew folks who'd had to deal with that mess; the intrusiveness, the interrogation, the take-kids-first-ask-questions-later tendency, the fear kids have to live with afterward. So she decided not to tempt fate. When the regularly-schooled kids were out of sight, so were we.
By the time I was a teen, more people were homeschooling. Strangers stopped giving us weird looks and following us around stores. The local skate rink held “homeschooler day” smack in the middle of Thursday. My mother relaxed the rules, and we could act comfortably in our own home. It was at that point that I realized why we hadn't been able to do so before. She had never told me when I was young—didn't want to frighten me, I suppose.
My parents didn't homeschool me to shelter me, to give me some outlandish education, or because they were off-the-grid. They did it because I was a very bright student who was bored to death in a regular classroom and turning to misbehavior for amusement. Just like a million other homeschool parents out there.
I lived through the times when homeschoolers were afraid to peek through the windows. I lived through the changes that allowed us to have support, community, etc. I don't want my siblings to experience those days of weird rules implemented for nosy, helpful strangers. But every time a homeschool family makes the news, it's always the oddball, abusive ones, never the successful ones.
And I'm afraid my little brother won't be allowed to answer the phone or play outside before 3:00pm.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
There's good reason why gifted and talented students are now considered special needs.
SadieCat17 (she/her) 10 months ago
I'm calling bs on their claim of no indoctrination considering the fact that they're talking about hiding homeschooled children like jews in nazi germany. I decided to take a peak at their quora page and found them claiming that northern us americans insulting southern us culture means that "in so many ways, Anglo Southerners are like the people of color they put down" and claims that the south losing the civil war was tragic because they were fighting for their own sense of culture. Another one of their takes: "[African americans] consider their suffering in the US to be the defining characteristic of their identity. They often see formal education as the antithesis of their culture, and reject it to reject the 'white man'." Too long to quote, but in a debate about the morality of doctors/parents being able to force surrogates to have abortions, they passionately bring up rights of fetuses as human beings and never once mention the surrogate's autonomy/trauma of forced abortion. Yikes
James King 10 months ago
Sending your children to be around a bunch of strangers for seven hours a day at government indoctrination centers is the actual abuse.
Load More Replies...
Jessica Rabbit 10 months ago (edited)
The house in the background looks like it's staring at the bananas.
#20
I wasn’t allowed to watch more than one movie (or alternatively one hour) of TV a day, and that hour could not be in the morning. I think this rule really messed me up. I could not believe for a long time that anyone could actually watch two movies a day. Till today, I’m drowned with guilt if I watch two movies in a day and I could never keep up on binge watching any TV show before spoilers started coming in. I think my parents made their point for life.
SadieCat17 (she/her) 10 months ago
I think the rule is reasonable for children, but if you're feeling shame and guilt in adulthood over it, there was probably something wrong with the enforcement of it rather than the rule itself. OP might want to consider therapy to unpack thing if they notice any other childhood quirks interfering with their life.
Alex Boyd 10 months ago
Pretty much what I was thinking. Limiting TV time for kids is normal; there has to be something else going on here.
Load More Replies... Pencil 10 months ago
When I was a kid we'd get the weekly tv listings and scour the whole thing looking for shows we wanted to watch and mark them. Before the show came on, we'd take the (very small) tv out of the closet, set it up and watch the show. Immediately after it was over, the tv would be stored back in the closet. To this day, I'm not a big tv watcher and for that I'm grateful to my parents. I'm sorry similar restrictions were so negative for OP but I don't think their parents were being unreasonable.
Lisa B 10 months ago (edited)
When I was a child, my mother limited my TV to an hour/day and I am now, as an adult, the biggest TV addict I know. My children are 29 and 30, were allowed to watch TV as much as they wanted as little ones and neither watches much TV at all. I hope my mother is looking down from heaven and sees what she did, LOL!!
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Hehe I've just watched 1996 Pride and Prejudice in two evenings. Bad I am!
Sir Richard Fiddler The LXIXth 10 months ago
Just watch " The Cure For Insomnia" Which is 74 hours long Big brain 🧠.
weatherwitch 10 months ago
I wasn't allowed to watch daytime TV as a child nor was my mother. When we did, we had to sneak doing it so my father wouldn't find out. As a result we had extreme guilt for DECADES if we wanted to watch TV in the day. When my father retired he watched it daytime without a seconds guilt. We told him it was unfair and he professed he'd no memory whatsoever of this rule. It always was one rule for him. I've not owned a TV for over two decades but it really left me left out on pop culture and chatting with friends. I wasn't allowed to watch cowboy and Indian films, the Bill, you name it. Turns out he didn't like cowboy and Indian films 🤬
#21
My mother, in her typical fascist ways, forced us to stay in our bedrooms when my parents had guests over to our house. Not just stay in our rooms, but she would lose her mind in anger if we came out for a drink or to use the bathroom. In an effort to showboat in front of her friends she would say, “What are you doing out of your room!!!” Now, whether or not this was a general practice amongst parents and children in the 60s, I often saw other families where the parents usually seemed proud to introduce their kids to the guests, often allowing the children to remain in the room. Of course, my father in his usual hen-pecked ways, did nothing to dissuade my mother in her actions.
Tyke 10 months ago
My parents would often have dinner parties and would want us out of the way. My Mum would put a table in our bedroom, and before everyone arrived we'd have our little dinner party. She'd get us to dress up a bit, put flowers/tablecloth on the table and pretend to be our waiter. Then we'd be allowed to stay up half an hour late (reading) then it was lights off and bed.
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 10 months ago
Funny story about guests being over. My parents had dinner parties and at some point it would be my bedtime and I would head off to bed. Welp, when I was little I'd sleep walk. During one party, when I was about seven, I came back to the party sleep walking with my pajama pants wrapped around my head. Everyone got a good chuckle.
Betsy S 10 months ago
In the 60's this was typical. You only came out in front of guests to perform something, like your latest piano recital piece. Other than that, you were to not exist, please and thanks.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I was born in the 60s lol n I cnn assure you in normal families this was not the norm well not here in uk it wasn’t
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
Tyke's comment below, sounds innocuous, but the OPs story is rather brutal. Was her mother sticking by the Victorian adage of " children should be seen but not heard " .... without the seen part ?
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
The severity of the restrictions (no pee breaks!) and the anger don't sound good. I completely understand wanting to have time with friends in your own house without the kids being underfoot. But the restrictions and the anger is a step too far.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I’m 60 live in uk bought up with my grandparents after my mum died n never once did that happen ok we where put in the sticks on farms lol but god no never did I hear the stay in your room c**p mostly I was out on the farm all day anyways but I thought only the posh stuck up gits did that
#22
We were not allowed to say the word “lie” in our family. It was considered a swear word and just as bad as s**t or damn. We had to use phrases such as “telling a tale”, “telling a story”, “that’s not true”, etc. My grandmother made us think that was the ultimate disrespect, and I still don’t say it in front of my mother today, but I have no problem with my children saying it around me.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 10 months ago
This one actually pisses me off... a lie is a lie and f**king call it out. Liars should be shamed and disrespected. Stop attacking people or hating them for calling it out
Auntriarch 10 months ago
My mother didn't like the word either, it was fibs or telling stories. Lie is still quite a heavy word to throw around.
#23
When I was a child, someone told me that: “God lets the people who are too nice die early because there is a shortage of good people in heaven”. I was considered one of the ”good or nice kids” in my school since I was naturally nice. I was worried about this because I didn’t want to die soon. At the same time, I also feel bad whenever I do bad things. Therefore, I made it a point to do at least one small bad deed per day. I would say a bad word, not lend a classmate a pencil, crayon, paper and etc. even though I had lots of these items, I would tease a classmate, lie to a teacher and etc. Later in life I realized that this weird rule was somehow okay. I was literally too nice and when you are too nice, other people tend to take advantage of you. So I guess this weird rule stopped me from being too much of a push over.
Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
Actually that’s almost true only the good die young ! is a dying ive heard my entire 6 decades lol I can’t be a good one then
#24
“Children should be seen but not heard” and “ don’t say no to your mother/ father” Neither one made any sense to me then or now, 55 years later. Of course nothing was ever explalined to me or my siblings. I would be so surprised and frightened when visitng friends homes and hear them challenge or discuss something with thier parents. Also amazed when thier parents considered them in the conversation! Many years of therapy and personal searching to come to understanding myself and why I am who I am.
The Other Guest 10 months ago
"Children should be seen, and not heard - and preferably not seen!" - Mr Grainger, "Are You Being Served?"
Shelley Keenan 10 months ago
"Children should be neither seen nor heard." -Arrested Development
#25
I was not allowed to say the word FART
Deborah 10 months ago
When my siblings and I were very young my mom used to call them 'tushy burps".
Disgruntled Panda 10 months ago
My husband and I say "tummy bubbles". Super childish but it makes us chuckle
Load More Replies...
The Other Guest 10 months ago
One of my classmates had a dictionary that defined fart as "a tiny explosion between the legs." We found that description to be hilarious!
Lez Be Honest 10 months ago
I wasn't either. It was a beep. And if you had to beep you better high tail it to the bathroom. I am still weird about it to this day. I don't say the word fart (I say toot) and I never ever toot in front of anyone. EVER
Auntriarch 10 months ago
We didn't even have a cute euphemism, it was "make a rude noise". And don't.
#26
You shall not wake up your parents!
(Unless someone’s dying or something’s on fire or things like that, of course).
I was an only child, and a particularly energic one. I had the blessing of having many family members looking over me, but when it was only my parents and I, I understand I must’ve been a bit tiring.
My mother has a sacred respect for sleep. She never wakes anybody up unless it’s absolutely necessary. And she expects the same of the world.
You may see where I’m going with this.
My parents liked to sleep late. They still do. I’m more of a morning person and usually feel weird whenever I sleep over 8 am. And when I was a kid, I’d wake up at 6–6:30 in the morning.
And I was not allowed, under any non-threatening circumstance, to wake them up.
They arranged things for me in the night. I had my toys and my books, and my mom would leave a sandwich and some beverage in the first tier of the fridge. I had pencils and colors and paper. And when I was a bit older (7 or 8, I believe), I had a computer with 2 games: Hercules and Tomb Raider II.
I remember once, being very little, I got bored and painted over the wall. My mother doesn’t remember this, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t say anything that time because she thought “well, I’d rather have him drawing his room that making noise and waking us up”.
And when I was perhaps 5 or 6 I learnt to use the blender… and broke it “making breakfast” for my parents. And once again, they just let me be… because they’d rather have me making a mess in the kitchen that waking them up.
Whenever I tell my friends about this they get scandalized. Apparently, getting up early in the morning and running to their parents’ bed was a big part of their life in the weekends. My gf, joking, has even said that this was a mild form of abuse. But life was like that for me, and I had no problem with it.
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
Yeah, apart from the blender thing it seems fine to me. Once the kid is old enough to get to the toilet for themselves then let the parents sleep another hour or two. As long as they're not sleeping until midday or something anyway...
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 10 months ago
My nephew is a super early riser and has been taught not to wake anyone - especially his little sister. He's old enough to get some food and watch TV/read until everyone else gets up. Over Xmas he decided that waking up his sister at the crack of dawn would be a great idea. We all suffered for that! ;)
Betsy S 10 months ago
We were not permitted in our parents' bedroom without an express invitation. That might happen once every year or two.
Sven Grammersdorf 10 months ago
Probably for the same reason I wasn't allowed in my parents' room: weed and sex toys
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
Just no ! Wrong on so many levels I’m an older mum had mine at 35-39 I’m now 60 n not once did I ever lie in still don’t to this day when the kids where awake so was I I didn’t have mine to make em look after them selves from a young young age I loved spending time with my kids lazy parents should not have kids
ENSJ 10 months ago
Same rule on weekends. Unfortunately, my parents had an alarm installed downstairs. We got good at finding the blind spots and sneaking around to disable it, but boy the times we did trip it wasn't fun. I get that we had to be quiet, but forcing us to stay in our bedrooms with the alarm system downstairs wasn't really fun.
#27
No chewing gum. My Dad hated seeing people chew gum and thinks it's rude especially if chewig and talking. So we were not allowed to have it growing up
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
If you keep your mouth closed while chewing, it isn't so bad, but some people look like cows chewing their cud. BTW : not many people seem to chew gum these days ( in Oz at least ).
Full of Giggles 10 months ago
I wasn’t allowed to chew gum as well. My mom hatred the chewing and bubble popping sound.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I wasn't either. Strangely now, in their 80s, my parents chew gum regularly...
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 10 months ago
I agree I loath gum an omg the common a*s women as chew it like a sodding cow chewing it cud is vile they be like I’m Cool no ur disgusting 🤢
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 10 months ago
Ya. No gum. Kids chewing gum is nasty, slobbery, sticky. Blech. Once my kids got their braces off, they could chew gum all they wanted, but not in public. Gem chewing is rude. I cannot believe I feel so strongly about this.
#28
Ringing a bell when it was time for dinner, and to come running when you heard it. (There were six kids in my family, so a bell probably made things easier for mom and dad.) It was a way summon us when we were playing outside, up and down the block. I grew up thinking that all families did this. Dinner was a strict routine. We were expected to finish our food, and to ask “May I please be excused?” when done. Our parents had to give us permission to leave the table, take our dishes into the kitchen and rinse them. Except for the bell, I don’t think any of this routine is “weird” … except that families probably don’t do this anymore.
Lost Panda 10 months ago
... Dinner bell... lunch bell... not strange at all, especially in rural areas... at least not when I was a kid...
AD Sully 10 months ago
This is exactly how I grew up. The bell brought us in from playing outside. We couldn't leave the table until we were finished eating and then asked to be excused to help clean up. Better times IMO.
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
No bell, but we were raised the same way. The half hour or so that we all sat round the table was a chance to actually be together and talk about the day, not just eat.
Load More Replies... 2fkjfrzq2v 9 months ago
This is exactly what we do. One addition is that ringing the bell activates our seven hounds who start howling when they hear the bell. We are ina rural area.
#29
Snapping scissors in the air causes badluck to someone. I hate to admit it, but after learning of this dark magical jinx at a very young age, I was as careful as a brain surgeon in the operating room whenever I held scissors until my mid teens. I can't remember how and when I learnt of this superstition, but it was probably just one of those things they tell kids to be more careful with sharp objects. Whatever the reason, no child should be made to have a mini panic attack in art class because they accidentally snapped their scissors. We must put an end to these strange superstitions! Kids are too...
Bookworm 10 months ago (edited)
Really, it would more useful to just teach kids respect for sharp things - don't cut towards yourself, don't point them at anyone else, replace any safety covers or retract safety sliders (on box cutters) when not actively using the tool, a falling knife has no handle. It's not that complicated.
Tiger 10 months ago
I mean just saying those things to kids doesn’t always work, even if you explain why, but yeah we should definitely not be traumatizing the children to keep them safe
Load More Replies...
Mama Clare 10 months ago
We had - Don't cut your nails on Fridays or Sundays, don't open an umbrella in the house, don't put new shoes on the table, don't stir with a knife - God forbid you accidentally broke a mirror...
#30
Seeking permission from my dad before turning on the television. There were times he would go out and we’d have to call him to ask if we could turn on the television and watch our cartoons. He would ask us to do that for a specified time. This was in the early nineties… i thought he had a way of finding out we had turned the television on when he was not home. i think about it today and it cracks me up. Well I thought most of my friends experienced the same thing…
#31
Where do I start??? My parents had some completely asinine “rules” that I was NOT allowed to question, nor break for that matter. I was not allowed to stay home by myself for an entire day until I was 14 (this despite the fact that I would have spent most of the day at the neighborhood pool if during the summer). I couldn’t ever read a magazine that came in the mail first, my dad would always fuss and then hide it anyway so I never got to see it, I was not allowed to be the first one awake in the morning and if I was I had to stay in my room, whether I was hungry or not. Oh and speaking of hungry when we went out to eat I had to order off the kid’s menu even when I was way too old to do so. My parents made me lie about my age. When we ate at home and I got seconds on something we had my dad would always fuss if I didn’t ask, which I thought was stupid. Since when should a person have to ask to eat in their own home? I was forced to go to church whether I wanted to or not, forced to wear what my parents wanted me too (lot more when I was younger). One time my bully dad tried to deny me thanksgiving dinner because I refused to wear a dress! Thankfully mom intervened and told him to leave me alone, that I looked fine the way I was (in jeans and a sweater). I could go on and on about the ridiculously asinine c**p I had to deal with.
#32
No talking in the car or at the dinner table. My Dad hated, and still hates, chitchat or even talking about important things. He finds talking generally unnecessary and doesn’t get why people say anything unless it’s vitally important. He’d get on very well as a monk with a vow of silence. When I went in a car with friends, or had dinner at their house they would often remark that I was too quiet and I found it quite odd that talking at the table and in the car was OK in their lives. It took me many years to be able to talk in the car and I’m still a lot quieter in the car and at dinner tables than everyone else.
Glasofruix 10 months ago
My dad is a bit same. We had no such rules but we learnt early on that talking to dad was useless as he would either ignore whatever we were saying, outright tell us he doesn't want to talk to us or belittle us for whatever he would consider useless or childish (almost everything). I'm nearing 40 and i don't talk to him unless necessary, we have nothing in common and he keeps fleeing conversations or we just fight because he's always right and i'm an idiot.
Little Bit 10 months ago
When I first started dating my (now) husband, he invited me round for dinner. What he failed to mention was that there was a strict no talking at the dinner table rule. There I was, jabbering away, telling everybody about my day, and this and that while all the time his father was staring daggers at me and the rest of the family ate in silence. After the meal was over, his father pulled me to one side and growled, "Meal times are for eating, not talking." It took me a while to remember.
#33
I somehow always made my right foot “win” against the left foot. Whenever I was going up or down the stairs, I made it a point that my right foot would be the one to reach the final step. If the left foot was “winning”, I would skip a step. For me, it ended up becoming a norm. The right foot had to “win”. I used to memorize the number of steps in order to make sure that the right foot always made it to the last step. I was a weird kid.
Simon Chen 10 months ago
No its not. It is a ritual. The majority of children have some rituals to a certain extend, if you think about it, you will maybe remember that you only used a certain spoon or avoided to step on a certain floor pattern. That has nothing to do with having an OCD, that is just how a developing brain works. Most of it makes no sense to an adult but most kids would not question something like that.
Load More Replies...
Jan Feline 10 months ago
I'm the opposite - both sides have to be completely even. If I bump my right arm, I have to turn around and bump my left arm. My shoes have to be tied at exactly the same pressure on both feet. If I step on a stone while walking, I need to step on it with the other foot. If I don't, I feel off, lopsided. Why yes, I am autistic, how did you guess?
#34
Always pass the salt and pepper together, never separately — and set them down on the table, don’t put them in the other person’s hand. This wasn’t exactly a rule; it was always explained as “this is how the Booths prefer it.” But the Booths were my dad and his ten brothers and sisters, my most active and noisy aunts and uncles, so naturally “how the Booths prefer it” = “the best way to do it.” To this day it is very difficult for me to put a salt shaker in someone’s hand, which makes for some weird dances at the dinner table.
#35
We weren’t allowed to throw the word “hate” around . My mother was especially intolerant of us saying it about a person because of its viciousness and intensity. But she also objected to my brother and me saying it casually about movies, food, classes in school, etc. If I seethed that I “hated” canned corn, my mother would instruct me sharply to find a different word. I don’t completely understand it, but my mother felt that it was a callous and powerful word and that children couldn’t appreciate that and didn’t have enough lived experience to know what should be “hated.” I am not sure who or what she reserved it for, because I’ve never heard her say it except in jest. When I would go to other kids’ houses and hear them declare that they hated someone, I would glance expectantly at their parents and be surprised when they didn’t react.
Brazen 10 months ago
My Mom was the same way with that word, and now it makes me wonder why. I wish I could ask her.
Janissary35680 10 months ago
It's because "hate" is a callous and powerful word that should be reserved for things that are truly hateful and not used for things we happen to dislike. I'm with both mothers on this.
Load More Replies... Mama Clare 10 months ago
I tell my kids hate is such a strong word, to only use it if you truly mean it
#36
This is more a rule I gave myself rather than a parental rule. I would arrange numerous coloured candies in separate flavour groups so it would always go from my least favourite flavour to favourite. For instance, with a bag of Skittles, I would put all the lemon flavoured candies together in one pile since it’s my least favourite and then lime in another pile and so on with red, grape and finally orange. Then I would eat my least favourite candy to my favourite so I’m always eating the orange last. I think I felt like I was ending on a good note when all my candy was gone since I always had the taste of orange at the end. One of my friends told me she used to do this as a child as well so I feel less of a freak. In a far less long winded answer, my candy always looked like this:
The Other Guest 10 months ago
I agree with the rule, but the order of flavors is WRONG. It's supposed to be lemon, orange, grape, cherry, lime.
highwaycrossingfrog 10 months ago
I used to eat the parts of my meals separately from least to most favourite. So if I had, say, sausage, mash, and peas, I would eat all the peas, then all the mash, then all the sausages. I did this until I was well into my twenties
Sue User 10 months ago
I wouls sort then eat whatever had too many ( have 5 orange and 3 grape, must est two orange ). Then i would eat one of every flavor starting with the least liked. It was always a matter if contention ( in my kid brain ) whether the quality street square caramel should be sorted in a different pile than the elongated caramel.
#37
This was a rule that my foster father imposed on us kids ( and, come to think of it, his wife ). When GUNSMOKE was airing on TV, I’m not sure, but I think it was on Saturday evenings, there had to be absolute silence in the house. We were allowed to get up and go into the kitchen for snacks during commercials, but no talking, except in whispers. And God help you if you chose a snack that made noise when you ate it. Chips of any kind were forbidden. None of us ever questioned this. It seemed to be some sacred decree, similar to the Ten Commandments. Even when I grew up and my foster father was long gone, I still felt funny watching re-runs and talking while they were on. The rule only applied to the one program and I don’t think any of us thought it was strange. It was the RULE. That’s all.
tracy black 10 months ago
wish my boyfriend had , had this rule he talks non stop during tv shows i gave up trying to watch em
Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
My dad was a big Gunsmoke fan, too. Never had a rule about total silence during said program, though.
#38
I always tried to balance my ‘left’ and ‘right' actions! I thought whatever I did using my left hand/leg/teeth should be replicated on the right, otherwise one side of my body will wear more than the other. So whenever I ate, I would alternatively take bites from each of the sides of my mouth, and always took an even number of bites, to “balance” the bites on both sides. The same thing followed for walking. I walked even number of steps only! If I ever clicked my left teeth by accident, I'd click the right too. But I gave up too soon on my left hand and was a complete righty :p This continued till I was 16, when I had more important stuff to do in life :p I was a weird kid. Chinmay
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
I did that too, especially while walking. I have to step on each floor tile the same for both feet.
#39
‘Never walk with empty hands’ Okay so let me explain that one a bit more; when I was younger, my family and I used to move around a lot (in my 20 years, i have moved around 8 times and stayed a max. Of 5 years in the same house). Well, if you move that much, your parents tend to learn some skills from the movers. One of them once made the remark to my dad, ‘never walk with empty hands whenever you walk through your house’ - it stuck, and I used to find it a crazy reminder ‘Yeah dad, I know, I’ll walk back and pick my stuff up’ ‘Yeah I walked past that package on the stairs, but it wasnt for me so…’ In the end, picking stuff up when you do some random walks actually does save a lot of time - so, remind yourself to never walk with empty hands (unless youre walking down the stairs - one hand on the wall at all times in that case)
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
Like " time and motion " studies that were conducted in industry years ago.
#40
Never accept money for helping people. Only for making things for people, and for selling things to people that you bought yourself. (Catholic Belgium 1971) Middle class Catholic girls in Belgium, Ireland and Spain took that as a rule from their mothers, in those days. In fact it is the answer to “Why doesn’t anybody pay you for all the work you do, mum?” It was a Matriarchal rule, and it wasn’t all that clear-cut. I mean making dinner was considered “helping people”, not “making things for people”. It was a code of honour.
Asking money for helping people was too close to prostitution and to maid’s work, to be considered respectable. Toppling the Patriarchy was a walk in the park, compared to exorcising the Matriarchy, I can tell you that.
#41
My parents didn’t label things as being rules as much as ensuring we used respectable etiquette. I played video games, chased bullfrogs and did whatever for the most part. But we were pretty much textbook “good kids”. They never told us any weird lies in order to get us to stay in line, it was just how it was. please and thank you always because “that’s how it’s done”.
For my kids.. I’m pretty damn strict. My step son had almost no limits when I came into the picture so it’s hard to be the step mom and make solid rules that just stick because I’m mom. Because, well, I’m not.
I have A menagerie of different issues like OCD, PTSD (not from my childhood) panic disorder etc. as well as some other random diseases.
I hate the sound of gurgling and the sound of my kids chewing. I hate slurping. If they don’t say please and thank you, I stare until they realize why I’m staring (mostly because I’ve repeated myself enough times to want to shove my head through a wall repeatedly). You ALWAYS say thank you for a gift because no one owes you s**t. I don’t care if you hate it. NEVER touch a service dog. NEVER run through a parking lot. Always wear shoes outside.
Some are logical but I have to still repeat myself. My step son just learned how to dress himself if that gives any perspective. He’s 5. His mom is completely out of the picture (legit diagnosed psychopath who ran my husband over with a car) but since she never had rules I’m pretty much the evil step mom.
Oh no, I made you say thank you. How terrible of me.
He thinks I’m mean when I tell my bio son to clean his room. Oh no, responsibility. How absurd.
But I don’t lie to the kids. I barely like using Santa primarily because some big fluffy dude didn’t spend $600 on one kid to then be disrespected because of something stupid. “But it’s magic” they say. You know what’s magic? Not starving to death in a third world country.
*ADDITION*
I realize the shoes outside rule may seem strict, it’s because we live in the desert. If you’re not aware of what is in the desert, there are a mixture of wonderful things like “goat heads” that will pierce your feet or Scorpions that will stab you. Sand is hot. The asphalt is hot. The grass is either non-existent or sharp.
Also. Cacti. I fell in one when I was a kid and almost died so I’m pretty protective about that one.
*ADDITIONAL ADDITION*
I apologize for my dry and sarcastic nature, my writing style makes me sound like a real d**k but I’m just extremely blunt. I want to add this bit of clarification for those who think I sound like that one mom who scolds their kids for laughing.
I write the way I speak, so with there being no body language or voice fluctuation involved it just sounds off.
I’m awkward. ♀️
But hey, if you still don’t like my parenting style than so be it. You have an opinion as I have one of my own. we are entitled to said opinions. Just as long as we’re not abusing our kids, to each their own.
Manic Mama 10 months ago
My parents had pretty much the same rules, and I never thought they were strict.
#42
My mom used to hate it when my twin brother and I played Nintendo way too much- so she would act like we were NOT supposed to have it turned on for more than 30 minutes. This was way back in the early 1990′s- when we were playing the original system.
We had tons of video games at home- and would also rent some at the video store every weekend (unless we got punished for something during the week). So if we played a video game for more than an hour- my mom would start complaining and say we needed to go play outside. If it was at a time we had been going to school- then she would ask if we had homework to get done.
We knew that was just an excuse to try forcing us to turn it off- because she would say that we need to be reading a book if our homework was already finished. She basically complained how the Nintendo did NOT need to be turned on for more than 30 minutes- and that we would always just want to be playing it for hours. We knew it would take much longer than 30 minutes to play an entire game- although we were NOT good enough to get through the whole game until I purchased a Game Genie in 1992. That was when we started actually seeing game endings- even though they usually were disappointing.
It was more than obvious my mom hated us playing Nintendo- because she did unplug it once when we both got in big trouble for something. I later found it hidden inside one of her drawers in her dresser- as she decided we were NOT allowed to play it for a few days. However- my brother and I got invited to other kids’ houses sometimes and would get to play their Nintendo over there. We realized they were allowed to have their Nintendo on for a few hours- and a parent would just say that we needed to take turns playing.
Now if we had kids come over to our house- my mom acted like we could just play video games for about an hour and then needed to go outside. If she thought that my brother and I already had our Nintendo on too long- then she would say to the other kids that it needed to stay off after they arrived.
Lost Panda 10 months ago
My wife is like this. She'll complain to me about the kids always on their games. Is their homework done? Chores? Bathed? Then what's the big deal. No different than you watching TV for X number of hours.
#43
I have two rules that I think was weird during my childhood. No laughing in the car . My dad have this rule where we can't talk loudly or laugh at anything while in the car. Whenever we told a joke we would try our best to suppressed our laughter but sometimes the sound just slips so snorts can be heard. My dad would then stop the car at the side of the road, got down, and started yelling at us.I always thought this is because the car is small and it's irritating to be with 2 rowdy kids. Boy did that change during college years when I went on trips with friends, we could blow the roof off the car. No talking when he's on the phone . He used to take on calls every now and then so we were trained not to utter a word when he's on the phone. Again I thought this was normal until I saw other parents talk into the phone with kids yelling into the receiver as well. We were trained to be completely silent on both accounts. But now we've grown up and he didn't really care about those rules already so it gets quite loud in the car.
#44
Swallow pills without crushing them or opening the tablets to not choke on it… (because my father always told it was not possible and the reason it would affect the medication on the pill or tablet or capsule.
Only those that are specified (its told on the label) not to open or crush the pill that really shouldn’t. The other ones really don’t matter, they are actually better on stomach if crushed because the substance comes already dispersed instead of concentrated for the stomach do the whole job and that just strains the gastric system. I do this since 17 years old when I almost died suffocated of some silly paracetamol with a dried out giant gel capsule stuck on my epiglottis (I couldn’t breath for 15 seconds and freaked out, broke the glass while running and fleeing in despair around the house without knowing what to do because the water would not even enter my throat, it just spilled out from my clogged mouth). After that I still to this day crush every tablet and pill and open every capsule (just not when it’s obviously too small then I am confident to swallow it).
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
Nah, that’s kinda dumb. It’s usually better to swallow whole unless it says otherwise. A lot of medicine these days are extended release and crushing/chewing f***s that up.
#45
I was classically conditioned to hate Oreo cream filling. I observe this Oreo Law still today. There were also rules No oreos until my homework was finished, unless… I wanted to go outside, I'll get sick of course, but... If I had ever made it home earlier I could have had one, now it's too close to dinner, I'll have no appetite The Oreos spent many nights without me. But not always, And when I won that chocolate medal, I had to scoop the cream into the garbage. This is law. Law is not to be broken. As an adult its in my nature to scrape the cream off of an oreo. I would never think not to, it's like watching someone eat sunflower seeds whole. People are visibly disturbed, but I'm no stranger to prejudice, I'm left handed.
Kiss Army 10 months ago
This was not a rule at my home but I love the cookie part best and have said for a long time that since they sell Double Stuff that they also sold No Stuff.
Load More Replies... #46
As a child I never regarded rules as normal or not normal, I regarded them as fair or unfair and also I regarded them as logical and not logical. The ones I considered unfair I would follow only if closely watched, the same as the ones I regarded as not logical. The fear system was the one imposed, the rules regarded as unfair and not logical, would be followed only because of the consequences to me for not following them. As I grew up and became stronger and more independent, I just dropped any rules I felt not fair or not logical. Part of the rules I dropped were the rules of religion, which were not logical but dogmatic, first I dropped the rules, then I dropped God altogether. The rules of religion that were logical and fair, after I dropped God, I adopted as a way of life.
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
Makes sense. Any rule should have logic behind it, and as such, needs to be explained to the child.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Little Bit 10 months ago
I wasn't allowed to talk when my mum was watching TV. If I dared to disagree with my mum she would completely ignore me and wouldn't acknowledge my existence (she wouldn't cook me meals, she wouldn't launder my clothes and i was left to fend entirely for myself) until I had literally got on my knees and begged for forgiveness, even if I wasn't the one who was in the wrong. Usually it was only for a few days, but one time I really stood my ground and the silent treatment lasted for about 6 weeks.
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
Jeez that's awful. Have you ever discussed that with her as adults?
Load More Replies...
Yu Pan 10 months ago
We had to answer phone calls in a very specific way and with a rehearsed script. People thought we were phone operators or thought they called into an answering service. If we brought food home or were about to eat, we needed to ask everyone, particularly my parents, if they'd like some. My dad also forbids us from addressing him as "You" only. He's always "Dad". So we can't say, "Can you get me this?", it has to be, "Dad, can you get me this?"
Mike Crow 10 months ago
We have the “no duff” rule in our house. When I was in the navy during an exercise the term “no duff” meant “this is real” so if a ship reported a fire no duff it meant it was an actual fire and not part of the excercise. With my wife and kids when someone says no duff it means they are not joking or playing around.
John Dilligaf 10 months ago
my Grandmother had a huge cookie jar in which she always had cookies for us grandkids. But she had the "rule of three"; you couldn't take more than 3 cookies. To this day I eat my cookies in threes.
Little Bit 10 months ago
I wasn't allowed to talk when my mum was watching TV. If I dared to disagree with my mum she would completely ignore me and wouldn't acknowledge my existence (she wouldn't cook me meals, she wouldn't launder my clothes and i was left to fend entirely for myself) until I had literally got on my knees and begged for forgiveness, even if I wasn't the one who was in the wrong. Usually it was only for a few days, but one time I really stood my ground and the silent treatment lasted for about 6 weeks.
Ken Beattie 10 months ago
Jeez that's awful. Have you ever discussed that with her as adults?
Load More Replies... Yu Pan 10 months ago
We had to answer phone calls in a very specific way and with a rehearsed script. People thought we were phone operators or thought they called into an answering service. If we brought food home or were about to eat, we needed to ask everyone, particularly my parents, if they'd like some. My dad also forbids us from addressing him as "You" only. He's always "Dad". So we can't say, "Can you get me this?", it has to be, "Dad, can you get me this?"
Mike Crow 10 months ago
We have the “no duff” rule in our house. When I was in the navy during an exercise the term “no duff” meant “this is real” so if a ship reported a fire no duff it meant it was an actual fire and not part of the excercise. With my wife and kids when someone says no duff it means they are not joking or playing around.
John Dilligaf 10 months ago
my Grandmother had a huge cookie jar in which she always had cookies for us grandkids. But she had the "rule of three"; you couldn't take more than 3 cookies. To this day I eat my cookies in threes.
You May Like Someone Asks Parents If They Regret Having Kids And These 40 Say Yes And Share Why Parents Share The Moments They Realized Their Kids Might Be Horrible People (35 Posts) Mom Worried That Her Kids Are Very Unpleasant, Says They're Embarrassing
Shelly Fourer
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
