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32 Managers Recall Crazy Excuses Employees Have Given Them That Actually Turned Out To Be True
Last winter, Deandre Ayton missed several NBA games, citing icy roads in Portland. Well, the center now lives in California, so he'll probably have to come up with other excuses to skip games. However, compared to many employees who want to skip a work day, Ayton seems pretty unassuming.
As it turns out, there are a huge number of reasons why employees might miss work - and, interestingly, sometimes these reasons even turn out to be true. So now, welcome to today's selection of amusing and truly hilarious workers’ stories made for you by Bored Panda!
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I used to manage a small team at an IT helpdesk. One morning, my most punctual, reliable employee didn't show up. He calls me two hours into his shift, sounding genuinely panicked.
"I am so sorry. I can't come in today. I'm trapped."
Me: "Trapped? What do you mean, trapped? Is everything okay?"
Him: "Yes, I'm fine, but... there's a moose on my porch, and it's been sleeping in front of my door for three hours. I can't get out."
I was completely silent, trying to process if this was an elaborate prank. I just told him to keep me updated.
An hour later, he emailed me a picture from his upstairs window. There, magnificently and absurdly, was a full-grown moose, curled up and fast asleep on his front steps like a giant, antlered dog.
It's the only time in my career I've had to log "Act of Moose" as the official reason for an absence.
RELATED:
#2
Colleague rang my boss one morning after a rather important football match.
“Boss, what would happen if I came into work drunk?”
“You’d be fired.”
“Right boss, what would happen if I rang in and said I couldn’t come in because I was drunk?”
“You’d get a written warning.”
“OK, ok boss. What would happen if I didn’t come in today but didn’t give you a reason?”
“A verbal warning.”
“Cheers boss, I’ll take that.”.
Family's_disappointment 3 months ago
I laughed so loud at this I got a sock thrown at my face by my mother. 😭
#3
Decades ago, had a shift runner for a pizza chain I managed in a large city just no call no show for 4 days. He came in to turn in his uniform knowing he missed shifts thinking he was fired. He was a medium height super quiet fireplug of a guy. He was 24yo, grew up in d**g infested projects, had a wife and two little girls. Super responsible otherwise for like a year. The only thing he said was a few yrs ago he borrowed some money from a guy he came up with when he was out of work. He paid him back but still owed the guy who was like upper management in a regional d**g heirarchy. Anyway, he said he couldn’t tell me and understood if I had to fire him. I didn’t and this guy was on time like always and eventually became a store manager and moved his young family into a decent part of the city. I left the company and area not long after he got promoted. But it taught me how unreal hard it is to rise out of those situations as there’s always tentacles trying to pull u back. It’s been 35 yrs and I still think about that guy, know his name and I hope he’s doing well amd has a bunch of grandkids!
weatherwitch 3 months ago
Compassionate and understanding. That will have meant so much to him ❤️
Just a couple of hours ago, a thread appeared on AskReddit where the user u/piranhamode asked netizens the question: "What is the most unusual excuse you've ever heard of from somebody calling off work?" - and basically launched a real viral volcano eruption.
At least, the thread has already collected more than 2.9K upvotes and around 3.3K different comments, clearly illustrating the full power of human imagination and resourcefulness. As is known, resourcefulness is best demonstrated in extreme situations - and isn't the need to go to work in the morning an extreme case?
#4
Ages and ages ago I worked at Walmart stocking groceries. One day I was just worn out so I called in and told them that I had apathy.
My supervisor, who wasn't terribly bright, didn't miss a beat. He told me to rest up and be back tomorrow.
The next day, his boss came over to me and said, "I'm going to let that apathy thing slide because it was hilarious, but don't ever do it again.".
#5
I emailed the office that I wouldn't be in for a few days because my (then) wife had had our son - in the front seat of my car on the side of the turnpike. (They knew he was due any day, and we were actually on the way to the hospital, he just came faster than we expected.)
I got an email back from a coworker with a link to a local news article saying, "I thought I recognized your car!" :D.
#6
I once got to work and then got a panicked call from my dad that I needed to come back to my house immediately because he was stuck. He refused to provide more details. I let my boss know I would hopefully be back, but I'd keep her posted. I was worried because a few months prior he had been in his backyard trying to practice karate moves on an old tree and when he kicked it the rotten thing fell on top of him. He couldn't reach his phone when that happened and spent about an hour trying to wiggle out of his pants so he could escape. I was assuming a similar situation may have occurred.
I rushed back to my home to find out he had decided he wanted to come over and cut down tree limbs while I was gone. He decided to use a ladder to climb up on the shed roof so he had more area to work with. The only problem was he also brought my sister's dog with him who promptly knocked over the ladder as soon as he got up there.
Baseball legend Yogi Berra was famous for his paradoxical aphorisms (some even believe that Berra became the prototype of Captain Obvious). One of Berra's most popular quotes is: "If people don't want to come to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?"
To paraphrase these words, "if people don't want to go to work, how are you going to stop them?" Well, this collection of stories clearly confirms that if a person sincerely wants something (or, in this example, doesn’t want it), then the universe itself will try to facilitate this. Like, send a huge moose to their porch… Why not, after all?
#7
My wife called me from home while I was at work one day. I asked her why she was home instead of at work and she said, "I called in sick"
I asked her what was wrong. She replied "There's a big bug by the door."
We lived in garden apartment with only one entrance. And she couldn't get out because of the bug.
I told her to step on it. She was too afraid. I told her to sic our Jack Russell on it. *She*(the dog) was definitely not afraid of bugs.
So that's what she did. She took the dog over to it, pointed it out, and the dog went over to it, sniffed it and walked away.
Upon further examination it turned out the "bug" was actualy just a ball of loose thread.
These are the dangers of not wearing your glasses, I guess.
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
Had a patient come in with a tick they had found in their belly button. Sent off to lab for analysis. Pretty sure this went down in history when the result came back as belly button fluff.
#8
Not work, but a college class with a pretty strict attendance policy - I delivered a message to the professor that my friend couldn't come that day because "she thought one of her guppies might give birth".
To prevent cannibalism the recommendation was to separate the babies from the adults asap; prof. accepted this as an excused absence lol. .
sturmwesen 3 months ago
Every other animal I could understand it..but a guppy? my friends try to give me some every few month because they breed like rabbits. in fact the saying should be "breed like guppies"
#9
My grandparents had a medical emergency years ago where one got stuck on the toilet and when the other tried to help they fell and knocked themselves unconscious. My employer demanded details and didn’t believe me because it sounded like an SNL skit.
However, it’s not only ordinary workers who can find a thousand excuses to miss a day of work. For example, many years ago, the famous basketball player Rajon Rondo justified missing an away game by saying that he was throwing a birthday party. And another NBA star, Paul George, once simply drank too much coffee - and felt too dizzy to play that night.
#10
My husband's colleague called in because he was too fat to get into his work trousers. He'd been on an all inclusive holiday for two weeks, came home and couldn't get his trousers up. His boss made him come in (in his holiday shorts) and agreed that he did look a lot bigger and so gave him a few days off whilst they ordered new trousers for him. He had apparently gained 18lb in two weeks.
#11
They dropped a frozen turkey on their bare foot.
#12
I called out once because there was a scorpion in my bed that stung me 10+ times and I was in an helicopter being med-evac’d.
Called out once because a pack of javelina were encircling my car.
Called out once because there was a mama cougar hanging out on my back wall w a baby on the ground.
Called out once because a saguaro fell over onto my house and I had to prove to the feds that I didn’t knock it over.
Called out on two separate occasions because I got stuck in a hurricane and “missed” my flight home.
Called out once because I was helping rescue a friend’s horses from a wild fire that was moving toward their ranch.
I think that’s pretty much it for my wild excuses. I don’t really get sick so I don’t call out unless I REALLY can’t get to work 😂.
Okay, basketball players do have to travel all over the continent, playing 82 games during the regular season. But what about ordinary people? In fact, there are even more exotic situations here, and by that, we mean dangerous to one's health. Want an example? Voila!
“Sorry I missed our lunch meeting, I went to the Emergency Room because I accidentally shot myself with a staple gun,” BBC quotes British entrepreneur Brandon Lee. “I still have the staple they removed as a souvenir.” Let's hope that the deal did take place in that case...
#13
One of my daughter's Primary School Teachers had to take a day off because her Beagle had climbed onto the roof of her house...
Again.
Joe Reaves 3 months ago
I love the 'again'. Dog clearly isn't good at learning from experience.
#14
I once heard a coworker called in Sunburnt.
Weird, but to be fair, she was VERY light skinned so I imagine it was pretty bad.
#15
Years ago during the mob wars in St Louis we had a girl calling into work saying that she was behind a car that blew up on the highway. She was a known exaggerator so we laughed it off.
Turned out it was true.
tarryn norwich 3 months ago
I mean... my aunt has had 2 cars burn down on her lol. One in a funeral home parking lot!
Be that as it may, we do believe that this list will not only be a source of healthy laughter for you, but also a wonderful reference book if you suddenly want to stay home on a working day, and there’s no suitable reason.
So please feel free to read all these stories and maybe add your own - in case you have something similar and funny to tell us. At the very least, it will be interesting. At the very most, we’ll all enjoy reading the comments. So, we’re looking forward to your tales - and we’ll definitely not accept any cop-outs!
#16
A colleague emailed me to tell me he'd be out of town and unable to review the materials I sent him. I was frustrated because I work in print publishing, and deadlines really don't care about your vacation. Checked in with another colleague to see if he agreed that I should follow up with him by phone regardless.
It turns out he was not just "out of town" -- he was in ANTARCTICA doing research.
Bored Sailor 3 months ago
Doing personal research or for the company they work for? If work related this is not an excuse just an uninformed coworker.
#17
A plane landed on the expressway preventing traffic from using the road.
Bored Sailor 3 months ago
Sounds like Florida, the times I lived there it happened more than expected. All the small personal planes in south Florida is crazy.
#18
They couldn't come in because their neighbor's dog ate their car keys.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
I presume the neighbor will be responsible for monitoring the keys eventual emergence.
#19
It was opening day of the school year, and I was in our home office typing up my Classroom Expectations. Suddenly I felt something on my head accompanied by a high pitched scream. It was a frickin bat entangled in my hair. My husband somehow got it out of my hair while I collapsed on to the floor, trying to breathe from the sheer panic. After a half hour of trying to compose myself, I called our principal and told him what had happened and that I would be late as my nerves had to settle down before I would be able to drive the 1.5 hour commute. When I arrived in time for my 3rd period class of nervous, brand new freshmen and told them why I was late, the looks on their faces were memorable.
#20
A coworker was "no-call, no show" for his shift. He'd been having emotional issues so our department manager attempted to call him numerous times. After no response he checked his home and then requested a wellness check from the local PD. No sign of him. A couple of hours later the coworker called to say that his mother had died. A couple of hours after that he called back to say that she hadn't actually died, he'd made a mistake. That was the last time anyone heard from him.
#21
One guy said he couldn't come in because his goldfish was depressed... and he needed to 'be there emotionally.
#22
Flushed my car key down the toilet.
It was me, and I certainly did.
Huddo's sister 3 months ago
I locked myself out of the house once as I was leaving for work. I went out a different door to normal so didn't grab the key as I left (it's kept by the front door). I tried calling my dad multiple times, but it turned out he didn't have his phone on him so I just had to wait for him to come back. Luckily it was just in my admin hours so I could just make up the time I missed.
#23
Back in my retail days one girl didn’t show up so we called her and she said “I forgot that I worked there” (as in forgot they worked for our store, not forgot they worked that day). It was the most insane excuse I’d ever heard as a manager. She’d worked with us for like 3 weeks. I just she ‘forgot’ forever because she never came back.
Hannah Shannon 2 months ago
I need to know when and where, because that might have been me. And yes, I really did forget I worked there. 🌟trauma brain🌟
#24
One girl said she got lost on her way to work and ended up in a different state.
#25
"Forgot to change my clock for daylight savings".
We had this guy who would always be one hour late to work on the Monday after we change the clocks.
But the guy was an idiot: He'd pull this excuse when we roll-back as well as when we roll-forward.
By that logic, you'd be an hour EARLY one day a year, and an hour late one day a year.
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
I moved to UK on 1st March and nobody told me about the clocks going forward so was very late when that happened.
#26
The person’s over-head garage door remote wasn’t working.
Yes, they were aware that they can manually open the garage, however, that wasn’t necessary bc their car wasn’t parked in the garage.
But the repair guy was coming to fix the remote. So they had to be there for that work.
Tamara 3 months ago
That reminds me. Once i was late for a similar reason. We lived on the top floor and instead of a door before the stairs, we had this rolldown electric door. But! The meter cabinet was on the ground floor. Once the power went out at night and the other residents where away. So we were stuck. We eventually used the fire-escape.
#27
My sister was a school teacher and called in saying that she was feeling too well to come to work, but she was starting to feel worse so likely would be in the next day. Unsurprisingly, they didn't renew her contract.
#28
A guy that spoke broken English told my boss “I can’t work, you have hemorrhoids”
We got the message lmao.
#29
A guy I worked with in retail 15 years ago called in to say he had a nightmare and didn't think he'd be able to get back to sleep/come in to work 5 hours later.
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
PTSD dreams will keep you awake because you don't want to go back to sleep just in case.
#30
An employee who rang in saying he couldn’t come in because his dog had pissed in his shoe and he only had one pair.
weatherwitch 3 months ago
I only own two pairs of boots and one set of slipper boots so it is plausible... Just
#31
At a landscape company.
"I don't have a clean shirt.".
Riley Quinn 3 months ago
I've had a couple of employees give weak excuses like this bc they didn't have the courage to tell me they hated the work. I'd just tell them I'd mail them their last check.
#32
I had a friend call in and put a towel on the phone. He said he had been abducted and put in a car trunk.
Joe Reaves 3 months ago
If I'd been abducted I don't think calling into work would be on my list of priorities lol.
What do you think ?
Batwench 3 months ago
I once called in, I had only been on the team 2 weeks, “ I am going to be late, I am rescuing a kitten”. My bosses response “I will see you when I see you”.
megabeth 3 months ago
I was late getting a dog safely off a freeway on ramp. Boss was totally ok w it too.
Load More Replies...
Major Harris 3 months ago
had a co worker once, "i will be late. my pet emu got loose." he did, in fact have a pet emu.
Heffalump 3 months ago
The only strange but true excuse I ever had to use was that I'd been shearing my hair down to summer length, the clippers had just stopped working with half my hair an inch long, and half down to stubble, and I wasn't going anywhere until after the barber around the corner had put things right. All my other strange excuses were lies.
Batwench 3 months ago
I once called in, I had only been on the team 2 weeks, “ I am going to be late, I am rescuing a kitten”. My bosses response “I will see you when I see you”.
megabeth 3 months ago
I was late getting a dog safely off a freeway on ramp. Boss was totally ok w it too.
Load More Replies... Major Harris 3 months ago
had a co worker once, "i will be late. my pet emu got loose." he did, in fact have a pet emu.
Heffalump 3 months ago
The only strange but true excuse I ever had to use was that I'd been shearing my hair down to summer length, the clippers had just stopped working with half my hair an inch long, and half down to stubble, and I wasn't going anywhere until after the barber around the corner had put things right. All my other strange excuses were lies.
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