Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Someone Asks Women Who Refused To Marry Or Have Kids How Life Has Been, And They Deliver 30 Honest Responses
At some point in our lives, women just get tired of parents asking when you’ll give them grandchildren, or your friends questioning when you and your partner will tie the knot. The pressure to commit to entrenched social expectations and gender stereotypes is real, and it does little good if any.
Meanwhile, more and more women are willing to take the choices of their lives into their own hands, something that essentially belongs to them. This Reddit thread shared on the Ask Women community shows a glimpse into how things are going for these women. “Women who didn't follow the social norm of getting married & having kids—what are you doing instead?” asked Redditor -Penguin_Anxiety- and the responses started pouring in.
Below we selected some of the most illuminating ones that show how rewarding it can be to live your life as you want, and not as you're told to.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I’m single with no children. I just booked a trip to NYC and one to Mexico in the summer, and planning a trip to Europe for the fall. I’m thinking about getting a second masters degree and after seeing these responses, I’m thinking why the hell not?
I have money and time to pursue my interests and because of that, I’ve gotten to know exactly who I was. It turns out I like me a lot.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
This is pretty off topic but, my bf calls me Trixypix, I've never seen that anywhere else until now!
Load More Replies...
Taxus Baccata 3 years ago
I never wanted wanted kids nor do I like them. I have maternal instinct, but it's directed toward animals. Species numbers are dwindling and it's partly because of overpopulation. Why add to it. Lots of great comments here. Maybe we should forward them to mgtow to prove we're not all lonely weepy old hags who don't regret never having a husband and kids. ,
Rebecca Hunter 3 years ago
I'm single with 5 kids total - two still at home - and while I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything in the world. I have a lot of respect for women who aren't interested in being a mom and are honest enough with themselves to admit that. I also love "It turns out I like me a lot"! I hope you can hold on to that for the rest of your days!
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
My mom just booked a trip to Vegas. My dad no longer has any desire to travel. My sister has a young child and doesn't want to leave him. Guess who just got a free trip to Vegas and concerts because she has no children to look after? I couldn't go on vacations just like that!
Michael Sanders 3 years ago (edited)
Good for her. It’s awesome to be able to follow your dreams. The most important accomplishment is liking/loving yourself. I struggle with that all the time. Kids would definitely hinder that, but really if you have a supportive marriage you can still do all of those things. Just sayin
Bored Panda spoke with Catdogbird29, a childfree and single woman who shared her experience in response to this thread on the Ask Women subreddit. She wrote: “I’m single with no children. I just booked a trip to NYC and one to Mexico in the summer, and am planning a trip to Europe for the fall. I’m thinking about getting a second masters degree and after seeing these responses, I’m thinking 'why the hell not?'” She also added that she has money and time to pursue her interests and because of that, she has gotten to know exactly who she is. “It turns out I like me a lot,” the woman added.
“I think there is a lot of societal pressure for women to get married,” Catdogbird29 told us. “The message that marriage and kids = happiness is literally everywhere in our lives, from the media, friends, and family. I felt growing up that my life would not be complete unless I got married and had kids, and it led me to make some decisions that were not in my best interest.”
Having said that, the woman believes that society is changing. “It is becoming more acceptable for women to stay single and childless, but there is still considerable pressure to ‘settle down.’”
RELATED:
#2
Living many lives. I was a morning baker at a corner bakery in a small town. I was a stripper in a big urban city. I was a roadie for a punk rock band. I was a manager in a large packaging warehouse. Now I'm a budtender at my corner potshop. I dont like a place? I get up and move across the country, sleep in my car until I find a job. I want to live a bunch more lives. I love the freedom and never want to give a shred of it up.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
It sounds amazing, however I don't envy your lifestyle. I love freedom, but I'd feel lost not 'belonging' somewhere (that's from my perspective!). Reading this does tickle my travel-muscles though :D
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Sometimes it takes awhile to find what works for you and what that looks like won’t necessarily be the same 10 or 20 years down the road.
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 3 years ago
This sounds like great book material. I would love to read her memoires.
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
When you move and change a lot, there is an amazing range of friends that comes with this. I know people across the U.S. and still keep up with people in England. All fake people fall away and the quality of life is amazing! You belong wherever you want to belong.
Pamda Panda 3 years ago (edited)
I had an ex who wanted to live like that and it nearly broke me. A year of uncertainty, turmoil, and awful jobs... The stability I have now is one something I do not take for granted.
#3
Working to pay for my cats expenses
Felicity Goddard 3 years ago
Me also, I tell my cats that I have to go to work otherwise who is going to buy their snacks 🥰
IguanaStampede 3 years ago
I thought this post was about women that said "No" to children. ;-)
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Two young kitties on the left and two old kitties on the right…old pets of any kind make my heart turn to mush!
Carrie de Luka 3 years ago
Me too. I watch my old boy go up the stairs all stiff legged as he has dodgy knees now and my heart melts with love for him.
Load More Replies...
Mam cymraeg 3 years ago
As someone who has 3 daughter I totally endorse this and can I come live with you
Karin Morris 3 years ago
I find it absolutely disgusting when people let cats on kitchen counters. You eat from food prepared in a kitchen and cats walk in cat litter. Don't you think about that? I don't let me dog on the counters... Ugh
#4
I'm 60, never got married, never had kids. What have I done instead? Lived my best life. It's been fantastic, so far.
Had a successful career. Launched a successful second career in my 40s. Retired early (which I never could have done with a spouse and children). Travelled all over the world when I was younger. Indulged all my hobbies (reading, quilting, cooking, gaming).
As someone else so aptly put it: Whatever the f**k I want.
Beck 3 years ago
Loved loved loved the Bluths (until netflix took over. They ruined that show.)
Load More Replies...
Erica Wessels 3 years ago
I am female, 47 years old. Never married. Never had kids. Never wanted to be married or have kids. I am a great-aunt already to my nieces' children. I am great with kids, everybody tells me that, and children seem to love me (I think because I treat them like human beings and not children). I have a long-term boyfriend but we don't live together. We see each other on weekends, if we feel like it and have nothing else planned (no pressure). We both like having our own space. The thing that scared me most about being married and having children is that I will never be alone again! I really need time alone in my own space, otherwise I go crazy! No matter how much I love somebody, I hate having them around me all the time!
Dee Pierce 3 years ago
She is not lonely. She has a boyfriend and she enjoys her alone time. She can travel with her boyfriend, with friends, or by herself. I'm sorry that YOU are not comfortable in your own skin.
Load More Replies...
Susie Elle 3 years ago
You could do all of that whilst being in a relationship, as long as it's the healthy type of relationship (provided you even want to be in a relationship, of course). Aside from that: good on you for living the way you want! :)
Gaby Almodovar 3 years ago
Sure she had and has relationships... but was lucky and/or clever enough not to be married.
Load More Replies...
The Redditor also said that she learned that she likes being single and she generally doesn’t feel a lot of need to be in a relationship. “I realized after a bad breakup that I stayed in the relationship for so long because I felt like I ‘had to’ and I would be ‘unhappy’ if I wasn’t in a relationship. I felt worse when I thought I would ‘run out of time’ to have kids.”
Moreover, “It didn’t help that I didn’t have women in my life that were happy single, and I watched as they made compromise after compromise to make their male partners happy at their own expense. I thought this was just the way it was for women. Then, as I was healing from my breakup, I realized I was far happier on my own than I ever was when I was dating or in a relationship,” she said.
#5
I got married but I'm not ever having kids. My husband worked from home today and we drank margaritas in bed and booked a holiday. Aside from having the responsibility of a dog I pretty much do exactly what I want to. I'm aware some of that privilege comes from money, rather than not having kids, but not having them has afforded me an incredible amount of freedom and peace
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
I would truly like to know why people say having children is such a comfort! It always sounds to me like they are trying to convince themselves!
Load More Replies...
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
I’m so very happy I’m childless; I’m also very happy that I have nieces and nephews
Shelli PL 3 years ago
Too many kids are born to POS parents. Glad to see someone sparing themselves and kiddos that pain. Though I always longed to be a mom, not every woman does. That’s ok too.
Gin 3 years ago (edited)
Be fair though, you have no way of knowing if she'd have been a terrible mum or not. Not wanting children is not really proof that someone would have been bad at it. A friend of mine didn't want children but, accidentally, here he is. Special educational needs but thoroughly loved and she's an excellent parent. That does happen a lot you know and some will be good and some will be bad. Wanting children doesn't equal ability or understanding as to what they are taking on. Another friend chose to be parent, adores children. She was horrified at how boring she found it and, well, it's been a bumpy ride for her children. My neighbour - awful father and despair of his wife. Thinks kids are just toys to pick up and put down when he wants to play and they spend more time being ignored by him. Until kids arrive, too many people are clueless as to the reality and there are a lot who don't do well. Fortunately, I do think most are amazing.
Load More Replies... Claudia Schmid 3 years ago
"some of that privilege comes from money" - yeah but some of the money probably comes from not having kids 😃
#6
Rescuing animals. Have my own business. I read a lot. Pursue art. Wake up whenever I want. Go on long travel trips with my friends.
Shelli PL 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe just me but as a child of abuse I think it’s selfless to decide not to have kids. It was a nightmare to be raised by two selfish people who shouldn’t have procreated. I wanted my son bcuz I vowed to break the cycle and happily gave him a real childhood. Some choose to forgo that work. You never know if there’s more to their choice to be childless. Respect their decision.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
That's one of the many many reasons for me, I'd be a horrible parent, they'd be either really spoiled (as I do spoil my nieces and pets) and be little sh**s, or totally ignored and ending up hating me. Having kids or not is a deeply personal choice and both should be equally acceptable
Load More Replies...
Cecily Holland 3 years ago
Having the self awareness and responsibility to admit you’d not make a good parent is a very positive thing. There are enough abused unwanted kids in the world
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
This one is most like mine. Own business, rescue animals, collect (and maybe start trading) art, go on vacations. None would be possible with kids for me.
madbakes 3 years ago
Same! Though the traveling gets tough with someone watching my animal companions, and I spend a lot of money on those animals.
Load More Replies... Brian Bennett 3 years ago
I take it you just rescue the poor critters don't keep and love them!
Jo Jones 3 years ago
The title reads “ Women Who Said ‘No’ To Marriage And Having Kids Reveal How Life Has Been” not “Why Women Think Children Hold You Back” I found it quite uplifting as an unmarried woman with no children (not my choice , it just never happened ) and gave me hope really :) we’re all entitled to our own opinions at the end :)
Load More Replies... #7
Get 4 degrees (2masters and 1 Ph.D.), buy a house, move whenever I want for a better job opportunity or a promotion, relax after work, and on the weekend coz I can have a full night sleep.
I was married which was unfortunate.
Karin Morris 3 years ago
This is how I feel. I tried the marriage thing. I gave myself up to be in it. Then I went thru horrible pain getting out and trying to recover myself. Now I'm more successful, with a nicer house and a better job and at peace. I do whatever I want to do. My friends worry about me because I'm not married. I just laugh at them
Catdogbird29 confessed that the quality of her life improved a lot after her breakup. “I no longer had to care for another person or make compromises about anything. What movie do I want to watch? What groceries do I want to buy? Where do I want to go for vacation? All my decisions.” Moreover, the woman started trying new hobbies and eating healthier. “My stress levels have dropped now that I’m single. I don’t see the same in my friends and family with kids.”
She believes that women in general take on so much of a mental workload when it comes to maintaining a relationship and care for children. “We hand ourselves over to make other people happier and we neglect ourselves and it isn’t fair. Society expects women to sacrifice for their husbands and children,” the Redditor explained. Although not all relationships have to be like this, Catdogbird29 said she doesn’t see equal partnerships modeled anywhere, “even among my friends and family that insist their relationships are different.”
#8
Living my best life? I always wanted kids, but I have been unlucky in love and having children is not something I want to do on a solo salary with me as the only caretaker. Unfortunately, the older I get the less patience I have with men. I have stopped dating during the pandemic and I don’t know if I will ever start up again! I have so many hetero friends in unhappy marriages where the women work full time, run the household, and are basically the only children caregiver. There are so many memes about married men acting like giant children so I feel I may have dodged a bullet. I’m sad I won’t get to be a mom, but i think it’s for the best. I don’t want to “raise” an adult or be disrespected by a man who is perfectly capable in the workplace but decides to tune me out in the running of our home.
So I do what I want and I’m really freaking happy. I own my own home, I have two degrees, I take lots of trips with my friends, have hobbies, love my job and coworkers, and dote on my nieces. It’s a great life!
Liv 3 years ago
"I have so many hetero friends in unhappy marriages where the women work full time, run the household, and are basically the only children caregiver." This is unfortunately still far too common.
Gloria Cruz 3 years ago
That is because most men never really wanted children. They did it to "keep the misses happy". You can pick out those fathers easily most times. However, there are so many of them out there, find one who isn't is like picking out the needle in the haystack.
Load More Replies... Sheila Stamey 3 years ago
This is very mature and a healthy and right outlook! Also, why would anyone want someone to "have" to bear children for whatever stinking reason? I have my three for the reason that I adore them, I knew going in it was a HUGE commitment, and would take everything I had to complete. They are all adults now, all absolutely wonderful people, citizens of their community and I am picking up the things things I laid down VOLUNTARILY for them. A choice is that, a choice. Be who you know you are, if you have a desire to have babies, please realize, that babies becomes toddlers, little kids, preteens, teenagers and adults, each with their own independent thoughts and needs. No baby should ever be born with a job of fixing an adult's problems.
C W 3 years ago
Yeesh I wish my parents had this outlook before having us. I have a toddler and one on the way and never in a million years would I expect them at any point in their lives to fix any of my problems.
Load More Replies...
Kate Jones 3 years ago (edited)
THIS. When people talk about this it's always a choice; either you have to have kids or you have to be rich and successful. It's not as black and white as that. I didn't get married or have kids because I couldn't afford it. I didn't want to do it alone. I feel like the conversation needs to stop being that if you don't have kids you are expected to have some wealthy lifestyle travelling the world or else you're some kind of failure because there has to be a 'good enough reason' you didn't. I definitely have more money than I would if I had kids but it's not like I'm living some lifestyles of the rich and famous. In the end, I'm glad I didn't. I don't have to answer to anyone, I can do whatever I want when I want, and I don't have to resent anyone because they've made my life hell. I do admit I would have liked to have had a baby at one point but I think that's a little hormonal and less realistic because I don't regret not doing so now. At this point I'm too selfish w/my time and I think my kid would suffer for it. I always said if I did, I'd want to be a stay at home mom. I couldn't afford to do that alone. So- no regrets.
KT 3 years ago
Sad about your friends marriages, my husband is fantastic at doing house chores and really goes above and beyond with raising our two kids he's a wonderful fun father. Sounds like they settled for less
Spring Fisk 3 years ago
I know you don't want to raise kids without a dad but if you still really want kids there are a lot of kids in the foster system that don't have either. One would be better than none. But you do you.
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I've personally thought about this but... I just feel like a lot of the time you have a child with trauma and special needs that ends up needing more time and attention than you have to give as a single parent. Sometimes I think that's just because we have such a misguided understand of the foster system, and maybe it isn't the case. But I feel like I wouldn't want to put a child who's already had issues with bad parents retraumatized with someone who can't give them the right - or enough- attention.
Load More Replies...
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
I have no family and essentially no life 9as some would put it) but doesn't one make their own happiness - one does not have to envy others happiness!
aubergine10003 3 years ago
This is almost exactly my experience. I wanted to get married and have kids, but I never found the right person and didn't want to go it alone. I'm 51 now.
Black Karen 3 years ago
Just bc the ppl you know are miserable doesnt mean everyone is and its sad to make such assumptions about your future based on other ppl.
Michael Sanders 3 years ago
Very self aware, however I wouldn’t make decisions about relationships based on memes.
#9
49 here. Self employed massage therapist, make my own hours, my own house, and make enough money to keep my 3 feline gluttons fat and happy. I’m solidly lower middle class with my income and I would be absolutely screwed if I had kids. The odds of single parenthood were just too high and I wasn’t willing to chance it. No regrets here.
Kari Atkinson 3 years ago (edited)
I am a 40 yes old massage therapist self employed and single mom. I set my hours, travel when I want, own two houses and have a triple bachelor's in business administration. Life is what you make of it. Never wanted children but completely blessed to have a child and wouldn't trade it for anything. Through the graace of God I have been able to accomplish and do so much. Never been married and don't receive support.
#10
Eating chips and watching tv at 3am. I will wake up around 1pm tomorrow. I will go to my job as a bartender at 5pm tomorrow. By the end of the week I will joke that I'm tired of partying. But I won't actually be - I'm gonna dance to a DJ and destroy my ear drums this weekend, like I do every weekend.
Kookamunga 3 years ago
This whole post is making a lot of people uncomfortable by making them question their choices.
Lady Cadaver 3 years ago
Not me. I respect everyone's decision and I don't judge, but I would not trade being a mother for anything in the world. I love my daughter with every ounce of my being, having her has made me a better person, has made me acutely aware of the wonder in the world that I had forgotten about and has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love and has shown me just how much love I am capable of giving. Whether sunshine or rain, happiness or sadness, rich or poor, sick or healthy and everything in-between, I would choose to be a mother to my daughter in this life and the next and the next. When i look at her I know that when I die one day, she is the one thing in my life that I did absolutely, 100 % right.
Load More Replies...
Robin Roper 3 years ago
Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to want those eardrums someday. Take this advise from someone who woke up deaf from a medical condition - deafness sucks.
De Gueb 3 years ago
Single male, I'll be doing the same, not DJ live band. I'm arranging to go to the MotoGP, already got tickets to blues festival in July, Nile Rodgers. and got a couple of things in the pipe line for march. looking at buying my second property to rent the first one out. 8 years ago when I was in a relationship, no kids I couldn't make it to the end of the month.
Karin Morris 3 years ago
This one is from a child. Not someone that has experienced life as a single, childless woman. Happiness isn't partying all night, LOL I did that in my 20s. Talk to me when you are in your 50s if you are still happy.
Gaby Almodovar 3 years ago
Sure you can eat chips and watching TV at 3am, but I bet on anything you want, you can't sleep at the same time till 1 pm. Cos you had/have to wake up around 6-7 am, even if you work afternoon, because of your kids.
Load More Replies...“I think the most common misconception about childfree and unmarried women is that we are bitter and jealous of our parent/married friends and family,” Catdogbird29 told us and added that she’s not at all. “I only want my loved ones to be happy and fulfilled and if that means getting married and having kids then I am happy for them. I will gladly hang out with you and your spouse, or babysit your kids for you. My friends are my friends regardless of their relationship status.”
Another misconception about childfree and single women is that they are lonely. “I’m not at all. I’m introverted by nature so I love my alone time. Sure, sometimes I wish I had a partner but I’ve seen just as many women desperate to get a moment of peace in their day. I know there are plenty of women that are bitter, jealous, and lonely, but I would encourage them to find whatever they are looking for in other people in themselves instead.” The Redditor wants to remind everyone that “You are a whole person. There is no 'other half' out there for you.”
#11
Being a full person who isn't defined by what she provides for other people?
Dora Fim 3 years ago
It’s interesting, we are different. I became whole when I had my daughter, because for me being motherly, taking care of her, being kind to her is somehow part of my personality. I feel like I missed a piece before. But that is me, and I am aware that so many people are not like that from my nursery school teacher past.
Tracey Kneasel 3 years ago
I have children and they do not define me! Be careful how you say this!!
Claudia Schmid 3 years ago
Women are somehow always expected to look after others. If someone likes that, fine. But not everyone is a "carer" or "provider". I prefer to live my own life
Andrei Caldararu 3 years ago
I thought the title question was in the vein of "I now have kids and can't even remember what it was like to have free time". This response comes across as petty and bitter.
Mistralok 3 years ago (edited)
This one I disagree with dramatically. I fill my life with caring for others- feeding the homeless, helping refugees find proper housing, and traveling well out of state to help and feed those dealing with disasters. https://operationbbqrelief.org/
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
I think they mean they're happy being defined as a person rather than specifically as a 'wife' or a 'mother', which would by definition tie them to a husband/wife/partner or children, in terms of their identity. A person can be as caring as they want to be without being either of those things.
Load More Replies... Liv 3 years ago
That's partially true. But, most of us are part of a family and society. Friends and family (other than kids and husband) hope to be able to count on us too sometimes, and we hope to count on them if the need arises. In that case, we're not a Mom or a Wife, but we're the Friend, the Daughter, the Sister, the Aunt (etc) who provided. I get that it's a much freer position though, and usually not 24/7.
Iifa A. 3 years ago
Between my partner and I we have 9 siblings and 23 nephews and nieces so we will never get Free labour or help from family, as they all have their own immediate family to care for. It's been a standard all my life that you hire professional help to take care of your needs otherwise you should pay your family back but more.likely it will comeback to you "I helped you, you owe me". When I was bedbound I crashed my savings to get professional caregiver to shower and wipe me, and help me with basic bodily functions, to walk and sit. My mum isn't strong enough, my dad is paralysed, my siblings all have children, and my partner works 12+hrs. There's literally nobody to help me with toilet unless I sit in my filthy nappy until someone comes after their on work to carry and wipe me, and then go home and take care of meals, homework. I aim to be not a burden to anyone, as lives are different and nobody should be responsible for adult people, even family. It's nice but not counted on
Load More Replies... #12
Enjoying a free and happy solo life, travelling around, working for myself, publishing my own books and not answering to anyone else. I’ve never wanted children because I knew it would curtail my freedom. I’m 54 with no regrets (apart from an eight-year marriage in my thirties).
Shelli PL 3 years ago
She chose a different path that worked for her. We should celebrate every woman’s freedom to decide her path. That’s the literal point of fighting for equality.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Applause from me - Reading books is more my speed!
Load More Replies...
Misty Evergreen 3 years ago
This is my kind of life. Looking forward into the future, all I want is a stable life to pursue my writing in.
Carrie Laughs 3 years ago
My much loved aunt is dying in a care home from covid as I write this. She had no children but she has at least 10 people desperate to be with her including me. Having children is absolutely no guarantee of anyone being there at the end. Neither should you assume that having no children means you inevitably wind up alone. If covid didn't exist she would have a crowd there.
Load More Replies...
Iifa A. 3 years ago
It's also very unfortunate to have kids just because maybe I will miss out if I don't, and then when you have them realise you hate kids, they annoy you, blood ties are worth nothing, and that little child is being neglected because of my inability to be a mum. I believed I should be married, children, but by my 30 I realised I don't want my family around, I don't want to socialise with family and people, and I will cross a road for a mum and a child. Why give birth to someone who will despise you because the child will definitely know is it loved or not. I gave up on my family, and all my anxiety and depression medication fell off the list. I sleep well, I'm nearly homeless, but I have my mental health back. Nobody asked me Do I want to be born, my mum wanted a kid and she got me. The child who has hated other people since 1993. it would be irresponsible for me to birth a child I don't want. Adoption isn't an option I'm from Ireland, church abuses children.
Load More Replies...
#13
I've worked full time in my career for 13 years. My master's degree helped that one out.
I became a homeowner at 21. I'm 38 now and am on my 3rd owned house.
I had a hysterectomy in 2020, so this whole "child free" thing is permanent.
I have a roommate; not because I need help paying bills, but because it makes my house more lively and I like the company.
I bought all the stuff to make an awesome home gym that I use 5x a week.
I do want a marriage, but am definitely not willing to settle for less than what I can already give myself. My quality of life will not diminish when I agree to be in a marriage.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
Just curious as it's none of my business, but I conclude from this that they started working in their career field at 25 - how were you able to afford a house at 21?? Even if they worked in a different field before that?
13 3 years ago
Nowhere does it say they bought that first house. Could be an inheritance.
Load More Replies...
Curry on... 3 years ago
So her "future" partner must come with material things in hand. Gotcha.
Justine Queequag 3 years ago
All you need is a downpayment, you're not paying for the whole house at once, and smart people tend to, attract and be attracted to other smart people with sound financial advice
#14
I just bought my dream house a month ago and got a better job making more than double what I was making with a huge bonus. That would have never happened if I would have gotten married/ had kids with the man I was supposed to marry ( I called off the wedding and split).
I can pretty much do whatever I want to do.
My bf ( not the guy I was supposed to marry) and I go exploring all the time. We just pick a trail on the map we haven't done yet, leash the dogs, and go.
I also love dancing and can easily get prettied up, pick a dress, and hit the dance floor. Anything from ballroom to club I fit right in and have so much fun. I couldn't do that if I had kids.
I love having the freedom to literally just do whatever pops in my head.
My parents had 13 kids and that put me off having kids. I've raised enough of them already.
Gin 3 years ago
That one always puzzles me - why does anyone care about carrying on a family line?
Load More Replies...
N Goodman 3 years ago
So all I'm reading is i travel, keep my money to myself and sleep as long as I want. Whatever floats your boat.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
No one has really said they are happy! They have freedom, Lots of things, cars, clothes and travel!
13 3 years ago
Ok just for you because you're one of those fools. YES! I am absolutely STOKED that I was smart enough not to have em. Had the chance and said no. Best. Decision. Ever. And most of my kid free female friends say the same. Satisfied?
Load More Replies... #15
I have traveled to 20+ countries solo. Live in a poppin part of the city, bought a white couch, a luxury car, plan to retire early…but the most important thing I do is work remotely so I can visit my amazing nephews as often as I wish. I didn’t ‘choose’ to not follow the social norm of getting married/having kiddos, I’ve just dated piles of garbage that inherently prevented that from happening. Then one day I looked in the mirror and turned 40, so I suppose I’m now too late to the bio-kids party. Oh well!!!!
Gin 3 years ago
Indeed. I think a lot of people don't necessarily want to start having children at that age even if the circumstances are suddenly perfect.
Load More Replies...
Liv 3 years ago
I also identify. I love love my nephews. And life sometimes just happens, we've got to make the best out of it.
Myr Lopez 3 years ago
Being the cool aunt/uncle (I am still salty at how hard it is to get a good gender-neutral term for those words) is such an awesome place to be in. Nah I don't want kids at this point in my life, but I'll happily babysit your little crotch goblins (affectionate) whenever you want.
Load More Replies... C W 3 years ago
The white couch made me chuckle 😂 we're choosing new furniture for the next house and have a toddler and one on the way. I'll have a piece catch my eye then immediately "omg no that'd be covered in sticky who-knows-what within a week."
Jp@nda 3 years ago
There could be nothing out, no snacks or sticky drinks, but within five minutes of being fresh out of the tub they will come up to you sticky... how?
Load More Replies...
Janet Maker 3 years ago
I adopted my two kids as a single parent when I was in my 40s. They are in their 30s now and I am a happy grandma.
Misty Evergreen 3 years ago
You can really tell she doesn't have kids because of that white couch, though. Oh, to be privileged and own a white couch 😌
#16
Working on my second and third bachelors and then onto a Ph.D. in political science with an emphasis on women's rights to get down to fixing this s**t for all of us.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Does woman's rights mean we want more rights than men or equality with them? Call me stupid!
Load More Replies...
Louise Platiel 3 years ago
Nice of folks to share their hindsight perspectives, validating that when you make the choices that are right for YOU it will enable you to find happiness.
madbakes 3 years ago
I'm assuming the "fix s**t" is referring to equal pay, abortion rights, etc. Calm down.
Load More Replies... #17
Staying with my long term boyfriend for life. We may get married. We may not. I kinda just want to be engaged forever lol (and I want to get him an engagement ring too!)
We’re never having kids. Instead, we plan on traveling the world! And focusing on our careers and hobbies.
Michael Sanders 3 years ago
Good plan if it works for you. Staying with a long term significant other can bring questions of “we’ve been together forever why not get married?”but also “we are doing just fine so why get married”. Answer those questions however you want, just be 100% sure the other person is on the same page.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
A lot of people who have long term relationships are afraid a piece of paper will handcuff them to each other - make a prenup if you every want to split mutually with no repercussions just abandon ship!
Load More Replies...
#18
Going to law school, taking care of my parents and focusing on my mental health. I’m very happy doing it and am just now beginning to accept that I don’t have to follow everyone’s expectations. There’s no reason to sacrifice your happiness making decisions that nobody but you will have to live with forever.
Liv 3 years ago
Yes, this. Screw society's vision of how our lives should be like. It's our life, and our happiness that's at stake. Nothing against being a happy momma, but to have a conventional/traditional life due to external pressure, and to fulfill the expectations of others? To feel externally accepted, while feeling empty of joy and remorseful inside? Hell no.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Becoming a lawyer would really disrupt my mental health - you may have to defend someone you know is guilty and to use all the legal twists and turn to get them off! Like you said you will have to live with your decisions forever - that's one hell of a long time!
#19
Currently, I’m drinking coffee and watching the sun rise. My house is on a mountain and I have a beautiful view. Also, I bought this house with cash.
On Friday I’m leaving for Vegas for a quick weekend trip.
Did I mention I quit my job a month ago because I didn’t feel like working there anymore? I started a new job this week but it was nice to take a month off to finish my office renovation.
Jessica Bertram 3 years ago
i think you needing a rebuttal at every turn is weird. it feels at some point like YOU are a bit salty and are trying to convince yourself you had it all too. Maybe you did, but the point is, this article ISN'T about what you can do with kids, it's about what women chose to do by bucking society and nature (bio clock, which some of us experience more than others). Give it a rest, Beck!
Load More Replies...
#21
I have a job which I actually like, party with friends, go alone on holidays, hookup and live my best life without a screaming poop monster holding me down.
Leslie Crittenden 3 years ago
Those are good choices that work for you, but don't denigrate my children - (they are human beings, not screaming poop monsters) just because my choices are different to yours.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Living your best life? Not saying you need a screaming poop monster - I agree! Think about 40 years in the future!
Melanie Sentz 3 years ago
I personally love kids and still think they are screaming poop monsters, lol. I work closely with kids all the time and just choose not to have any. I agree with you that some folks should definitely not have kids. Not sure about this lady from one comment, but yes, people should not hate on the childless because sometimes not having kids is the healthiest, most selfless choice for some people
Load More Replies... #22
Work a fulfilling career, volunteer at a wildlife rescue center, travel, cook, read, play the guitar, enjoy time with my fiancé and friends whenever I feel like it, regularly exercise, have frequent sex, invest my extra time and money into my health and skincare routine, sleep in, have spa days once a week, donate money to charity, hike, bike, ski, camp, and going dancing.
These are a few of the things I do instead of having kids lol
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
This one reminds me of the Dear Abby article I read as a kid: "pity the poor childless couple, she slaving to pour another mai tai as he lovingly puts sun lotion on her back..."
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
I can't do this with no kids - you didn't mention what the fulfilling career was!
Neb 3 years ago
The key word is "sounds". Not everyone brings it up and not everyone likes to bring it up.
Load More Replies... #23
I did get married, but no kids. I'm about to start a PhD in aerospace!
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Two of us, both have PhDs and a kid here. The trick is having two parents, not one parent, one adult child, and then younger children.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
And escape the surly bonds of earth - Now you will be well travelled!
#24
Moving to different states, changing careers because I feel like it, living a reasonably good life on 30k, and enjoying a banquet of men. I'm almost 50 and I have never felt I was missing out. A marriage of less than 3 years gave me a taste of that white picket fence life, and it's not for me.
Shelli PL 3 years ago
Is the banquet of men served buffet style or is the food placed strategically on the men and you just help yourself?
#25
Currently helping my sister raise her kid! She's a single mom by choice and I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds right now. I love watching my nephew grow up and I feel like it's completely satisfying any maternal urges I have. And at the end of the day I still have my freedom and independence.
Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
I'm an auntie to two fantastic nephews and a fantastic niece. I've been their Friday babysitter since the oldest (now 7) was 3 months old so I've seen them grow up. They act up and can be stroppy as kids can be but they are adorable --- but I don't have to pay for more than the occasional banana. I get the best of kids who know and love me, but no broken nights and depleted bank account.
Ren Karlej 3 years ago
Similar for me too. People all too frequently assume that a woman choosing not to have children is because they'd be a dreadful parent - that's not the case for everyone at all! People are far too varied to make blanket statements like that. Some will, some won't. People always said to me that I'd have been a good mum but the urge for children that I had in my early 20s died out and never came back. Love being an aunt.
Load More Replies... BORKADYMUSIC 3 years ago
My sister wants kids and I’d be happy to be an uncle, I just couldn’t take raising my own kid. I’d be too scared of messing them up like my parents did to me.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
It's a two parent household, and family units can be many things. Another post talked about not finding a person that they would have kids with. This sort of thing is a great solution for somebody who kinda-sorta wants kids, but not entirely.
#26
I’m building my dream home - an eclectic little tiny house on the water, that I’ll never have to share.
#27
I got a PhD, traveled, lost weight got mentally healthy, focused on myself, then found the love of my life and now we are building a dream house and planning a future without kids. Maybe we will get another dog.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
I sometimes am confused about why some people don't want kids because of cost and responsibility, and end up with dogs which are the same amount of responsibility and they end up spending the same amount on the dogs as they would on kids. On the plus side, kids are more likely to be little shits than dogs. On the minus side, your kids will be able to follow basic commands and even do the dishes in a decade or so, while the dog will continue to eat the the leftover Chinese food and have diarrhea on the carper well into their teens. Also, with kids, after they are 18 they get much better, while dogs will be gearing up to break your heart and die around the same age, and you will have to start all over again and have to train a new puppy not to chew your new $5,000 entertainment system. Of course, a dog does not come with a built in other person who can be a huge a*****e. On the other hand, a kid can help you when you're old, while a dog won't drive you to the clinic for your meds. A kid will hug you back, and I prefer hugs to being licked. Fur is fun, but only when it's on the dog, not on the furniture. My point being, of course, that if a person prefers dogs to kids, that's great, but that's because you prefer dogs, not because dogs are easier and cheaper.
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
Clothing, shoes, school fees, doctor/dentist/optometrist appointments, school trips, birthday & christmas presents, holiday expenses (all x18 years) and then possibly college/university fees... compared to food & vet bills for maybe 15 years, max? Some people do spend a lot on their pets but it in no way compares to the cost of having children.
Load More Replies... #28
Halfway to a paid off house, living with my animals, successful in my career, dating someone that may or may not develop in to something long term.
There are more pros than cons for me to not being married with kids (and possibly divorced) in my 40s.
Ren Karlej 3 years ago
As she clearly wrote 'there are more pros than cons for me to not being married..." She is making her choice to live the way she wants.
Load More Replies... #29
I live with my best friend, and it's f**king awesome.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Me too but he's male and we are married - no kids together 42 years!
BORKADYMUSIC 3 years ago
I’m hoping to move to Canada with my friend as soon as I graduate from college :’)
#30
Getting two degrees, working my a** off at a job I genuinely love even it's intense and stressful! I'm also helping my parents as they get older, building a bunch of furniture, writing silly s**t to unwind, and chilling with my cats.
I did have a very brief period of being married (which I didn't tolerate for long).
MaryWinDenver Notgiven 3 years ago
Seventy-one here. Can never recall wanting kids, didn't even play with dolls. No desire to be married, but the exact right man came into my life, four years after I had a hysterectomy andhe was good with a state of childlessness. Got two degrees went to the top in two careers and I'm booking hotels for summer in Europe. And to His Holiness, yeah, no kids, just dogs and I'm selfish--bite it.
Cecily Holland 3 years ago
My other half and I aren’t married but have been together nearly 20 years. We are happy the way we are as parents to a Bengal. His sisters and their offspring breed like rabbits. No need here lol
Marble2 3 years ago (edited)
if you produce kids for the sole purpose of having someone to take care of you when you are old - this is a really unrealistic expectation and a wrong reason for having kids as whole! Especially abusive parents should not harbour hopes of being taken care by their kids...
Load More Replies... #31
Living alone, loving my independence. My home is full of art, plants, and I have many hobbies. I would be miserable as a wife and mother. It was just never going to be the life for me!
#32
I'm a pilot, I have been wanting to for years since I was young. I also despise kids so that was out of the question. Instead I have many animals as I love them.
#33
I married fairly young (24) but we are openly childfree. I'm also the breadwinner and my husband works parttime and does almost all the household stuff.
I get to spend my evenings doing whatever I want. Playing games, chilling my my husband, going out and seeing friends.
Everything parents did before they had kids? I just kept doing that.
Vira 3 years ago
I'm sad to know that anyone feels they would need to hide being happily child-free (as implied by "openly child-free").
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I do that shît every day. “Oh, Mewton, do YOU have any kids?” “Ohhh.. heh heh, uh, not yet! I like kids though!” All lies lol.
Load More Replies... #34
Being a lesbian and practicing witchcraft.
#35
Being gay, kicking goals, going to travel in the near future,
Oh, and im disapointing my parents.
#36
Everything disallowed by nap schedules, diaper genies, bed/bath routines, potty training, paying for childcare, school pickups/drop offs, homework, attitude, Driver’s Ed, endless sporting or performance practices/games/events, or the never ending/omnipresent f**king CONSTANT NOISE……….and that’s not to touch on the insane financial drain, psychotic exhaustion, resentment of spouse who I likely only married because of the kids, reminders of a so-called “biological clock”, and ruining your life and bending to the ever-present entitlement for a little person who you will definitely love but may or may not even like very much. PASS. I’m well-rested and my Roth IRA is well-fed. ;)
#38
I found out I was asexual and I'm still trying to figure stuff out but what I can tell you is that happiness comes from cats not relationships 💜
Final score:
12points
#39
I also don’t feel the calling for marriage. I love my boyfriend and we’ve mentioned weddings/marriage, but neither of us is particularly driven to get married just to idk be married? Lol
We own a house and have three pets together so we’re pretty official already. I’ve explained it to my friends before but I don’t mind the term girlfriend or fiancée, and I love looking at engagement rings and wedding inspo boards, but I just don’t really see myself falling under the “wife” label. I kind of hate the word, probably because I tie it in with mother, as the world tends to say wife & mother, and I do not want to be anyone’s mother.
So maybe we’ll get married and he can be my husband and I can be his partner or his lady-husband, who knows what the future has in store!
Babie J Johnson 3 years ago
If you get married and don't have children you are taxed higher. You should stay engaged it makes more sense(cents).
#40
Taking naps whenever I want haha no, seriously living life to the fullest,which includes a lot of eating out at restaurants, going on dates with all kind of different interesting exciting men, having spontaneous parties and weekend spa getaways with friends or just randomly treating myself with some shopping.
#41
37, single. Got a couple cats. Couple of bongs. Sleep when I want, eat when/what I want and buy myself whatever I want.
#42
Running my own businesses, collecting English bulldogs, going on vacations whenever I feel like it, enjoying the complete silence and solitude for most of my days (except when the dogs get going, but even then I would take that over the stress (being a parent) and bulls**t (being a wife) on any given day.
#43
Raising lots of plant babies. Still very rewarding. Adopting and buying from the marketplace or local sellers. Still a bit on the budget, definitely finicky but they aren’t as noisy so I’m pretty satisfied. The cats don’t always enjoy new additions as they bite, scratch or swat but I think they will get used to it in time.
#44
I am married but no kids. I raise and spoil my 5 cats and raise foster kittens. I spend the rest of my time gardening.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
There’s millions of way to make money, why did you single this person out? Lol!
Load More Replies... #45
Learning new languages. learning new skills like web design, graphic design, painting, etc.
#46
Learning bass guitar, learning to enjoy/ enjoying myself as a hooman, and healing generational trauma. There's much more, however, that's a start.
Sarcastic Cow 3 years ago
That point of generation trauma - I think it´s has to do a lot with childfree people. We just want time to heal and don´t want to bring new people in that circle of suffering.
#47
Laying in bed at 9:30am. Wondering if I going to sleep more or get up now.
Gin 3 years ago
She can probably stay in bed all day and certainly please herself far more easily. Or are you saying that parents have been lying all this time about what a lot of work children are? All this 'they're a full time job in themselves' was rubbish eh?
Load More Replies... #48
According to my dad, living in sin, but enjoying my time child-less.
#49
My education, work and basically whatever i feel like doing without someone suffocating me.
#50
Just chilling, I got great friends and family, I got my own house, got a job I enjoy that pays well enough that I can do what i want when I want without having to think of anyone else. I’m 32 now if I meet someone and settle and have family then great but for now I’m not looking for anything and I’m happy just doing me.
#51
Moving to South America with my hot private chef boyfriend and traveling around the world until I don’t feel like it anymore.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Damn that’s ice cold. But statistically at least somewhat probable.
Load More Replies... #52
I spend my time on hobbies and friends! I play in my local municipal orchestra, paint, embroider, play d&d, learn shibari and other related skills, cook/bake, read for leisure, and play animal crossing. I plan trips, which can include challenging/long hikes, wine/beer tastings, and honestly last minute activities - those things are either difficult or not possible with children on vacation.
#53
I have a large, wonderful circle of friends I spend a lot of time with. I have a job I like most of the time. I used to travel a lot, before the pandemic.
#54
Partner and I both work full time and have 4 holidays planned this year with various family. We go out to eat a lot and enjoy spending time with our siblings and many nieces and nephews. We rise at whatever time we want at the weekend and if nothing planned, take a walk in the local nature reserve, stop at the café for breakfast. It's a nice life.
#55
Working on an MA and planning to get another one. Climbing up the corporate ladder. Working on my hobbies. The usual.
#57
Traveling, starting a business, building my dream house, cultivating relationships. I am getting married to a wonderful woman but both of us are older and have similar goals. The not having children thing is really what’s helped accomplish so much. Not a lot of support for parents in modern times. I’m not willing to carve pieces of myself out to have a mini-me.
#58
I’m on my 4th U.S. passport, my 6th album of original music, friends all over the continent, most parents don’t want me around their kids since I represent a life completely opposite from their parents and a conservative life. Love cats, good food, great company. There are slow times, but very little down time. No matter when I’m asked what I have been doing or what I will do, have I ever answered, “Nothing.”
Final score:
6points
#64
Travelling with my partner or chilling home with a bottle of wine and two cats. The absolute freedom is the best part of being child free. I can not do laundry or wash dishes for 3 days and nobody cares. Being able to just do whatever you want during your spare time is priceless. We get to be selfish and just make ourselves and each other happy. It's also less stress in general because we are two self sufficient individuals who happen to love each other so if anything happened we would be ok. We don't depend on anyone and nobody depends on us either.
Final score:
4points
#66
Riding motorcycles, going on vacations, and accumulating neat stuff to share with my partners.
What do you think ?
MiriPanda 3 years ago
I resent the implication that being single or at least childfree automatically means we're all well off financially. Many of these posts describe women who are also very privileged. Being a homeowner at 21? Nothing to do with being single and childless. Traveling the world? I work full time and have neither the money nor the time for that. Fantastic if it works out well for them, but please don't generalize. I for one have too many people around me who assume that I sleep on bags of gold and that I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Nope, not even close - and I like my life in general.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Exactly. I do not have children and I cant work so I literarly have food and a roof solely because my partner pays for it. We struggle a lot living with only one salary..
Load More Replies...
Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
Men always make out as if it's women who want to get married and do the whole settling down thing, but the reality is that is actually men who want to do it. Witness the uprise in men who demand that women be made available to them and who say that women have 'too many rights'. The whole system of coupledom works a lot better for men than it does women, and always has.
Lea S. 3 years ago (edited)
Or it's both? Depends on the person. I know men who have no interest in marriage and kids. I know women who have no interest. I know men who want kids, and I know women who wants kids. There's no rule. I know a woman who adopted well into her forties and is now a single mom. Everyone's different.
Load More Replies...
BigFish Artwire 3 years ago
Most of these have to do with having money, which of course you have less when you have kids. But the benefits that they list are all about money, and since I'm broke, I think I'll have kids then haha. Just kidding :)
Val 3 years ago
Single childfree people in my country pay waaaayyyy more taxes than couples with or without kids. This is really frustrating and actually quite discriminating.
Load More Replies...
lenka 3 years ago
Being childfree is an amazing choice (or otherwise) to make and presents opportunities - but so many of these comments assume you have to choose between a life you want and children. For women that has traditionally been the case – but it doesn’t have to be. I was late to marriage and kids and didn’t really want kids (until I did) so I did most of these things before I had kids. Got my degree. Travelled the world alone. But the thing is… all these things are still possible with kids. You don't have to sacrifice yourself and all your dreams for your children. I still take impromptu weekends away on my own or with my girlfriends, I can still go to the bar and dance 'til 3am, I learnt a new language, I have hobbies, I work a fulfilling career and I am not defined by my role as mother. All of this is possible because my partner is an actual EQUAL carer of the children. We work together as a team and together we make sure that we each have what we need to be who we are.
lenka 3 years ago
My point is… if you don’t want kids – great!! But if you do, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sacrifice yourself.
Load More Replies...
Queerios 3 years ago (edited)
I liked seeing the point of view of all the women in this article; even though I'm way too young to have kids now, this is making me very comfortable in my not wanting kids haha. However, I'm pretty disappointed with the amount of people commenting and saying that these people are selfish, or asking why they couldn't do things like travel/have pets with kids. Like, it's these women's choice and they're living fulfilling lives. The article isn't about what you can do ONLY if you don't have kids, it's people telling why they personally didn't and what they enjoy about it. Please just respect their decisions and if you don't like it, kindly frick off and go read a different article
Carrie de Luka 3 years ago
Hear hear. Comes across a tad desperate to justify their choices to be honest. People having children is a purely selfish act - they have children because THEY want them. No other reason. Fine, great. Just let people alone and stop acting as if those without are going to be alone 'at the end' and 'you'll end up in a care home'. Loads of people WITH children end up in care homes. Awful argument with such a self-centred core.
Load More Replies...
Tracy Aubrey 3 years ago
Stopped reading around 30th post, it seems all these people have a lot of money and good jobs, so maybe that's why they're living their best life.. I knew very early on that I won't have kids due to a medical condition. I have had a great life so far, have a niece and nephew that I dote on and now since I've recently gotten married, I have a wonderful stepson who spends half of his time with us and half with his mom. Having been childless all this time, I can honestly say that I've gotten used to having my life/time etc. to my self and I really don't know if I'll be able to handle having a child, but every now and then, I feel that I would give anything to hold That little precious bundle in my arms. I do feel that I've missed out on the joy of being a parent.
Justine Queequag 3 years ago
Till that precious bundle poops on ya.... :)
Load More Replies...
A Jones 3 years ago
I don't have a desire to sprout my own family. Also the other reason I don't have a desire to make my own belly spawn is that I'm asexual. I'm in a good career (although not very high paying), I enjoy going out, playing VG, reading (daily), traveling, and coming home to calm and quietness after a long day. I always disliked being asked about 'when are you gonna find someone?' or 'are you going to have kids' by folks, it's just pushy and rude. I don't have a mate, but don't want to rush with getting into a relationship just yet.
BORKADYMUSIC 3 years ago
Hello from a fellow ace! And I completely agree, my family is always saying things like “WHEN you have a boyfriend…” and “WHEN you get married and have kids…” nah, I’m gonna be a musician and live with my best friend in Canada, suck it society!!!
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
Lots of love for these women and people in general who choose for what they want in life and aspire to be. My personal view on the matter is that there can exist a parallel between these types of lifestyle and the one that includes a partner (potential kids will make things more difficult, that's true). A good, healthy relationship will nurture your preferred lifestyle(s), wishes and dreams. I try to actively encourage my boyfriend to do what he wants and loves in life, even if that for example means moving away for a period of time. He does the same for me. If we belong together, we'll make it work. If we can't make it work, then life has different journeys planned for each of us. Life doesn't demand you choose between getting married or living your preferred life - the wrong type of people do.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I'd like to add that a relationship is never a must in life, of course!
Load More Replies... Hseed 3 years ago
My wife and I always say it would be great to have the possibility of two lives: one with kids and one without. I'm a proud father of two kids that I love more than my own life, but my wife and I wanted kids from the beginning. We had them pretty late cause we were having so much fun by ourselves. That's why I understand and respect both decisions made by people.
Hseed 3 years ago
It's kind of sad when people rely their happiness and meaning of life in the fact of having children.
Load More Replies...
Loty 3 years ago
All the posts here can be summarized with 1 line: Kids are expensive and since I don't have that expense I'm free to spend my money on...
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I see a lot of that too. But not everyone falls into that category. I can afford kids. I can afford a brood of my own, plus all of yours and all of your grandkids and still have whatever I want. But I won’t have kids because I hate them. They’re cringy and boring, loud for no reason, they’re uncomfortable to look at, their voices are shrill and grating, their mouths are dirty, they want everything, they know nothing, they can’t even function to wipe their own butts, they are repetitive and naggy, unappreciative most of the time, they can’t do anything cool or talk about anything interesting, they’re style crampers who take up too much time that could be spent doing something better. Doesn’t matter what I spend my money on, that’s irrelevant. It won’t be kids tho.
Load More Replies...
MiriPanda 3 years ago
I resent the implication that being single or at least childfree automatically means we're all well off financially. Many of these posts describe women who are also very privileged. Being a homeowner at 21? Nothing to do with being single and childless. Traveling the world? I work full time and have neither the money nor the time for that. Fantastic if it works out well for them, but please don't generalize. I for one have too many people around me who assume that I sleep on bags of gold and that I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Nope, not even close - and I like my life in general.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Exactly. I do not have children and I cant work so I literarly have food and a roof solely because my partner pays for it. We struggle a lot living with only one salary..
Load More Replies... Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
Men always make out as if it's women who want to get married and do the whole settling down thing, but the reality is that is actually men who want to do it. Witness the uprise in men who demand that women be made available to them and who say that women have 'too many rights'. The whole system of coupledom works a lot better for men than it does women, and always has.
Lea S. 3 years ago (edited)
Or it's both? Depends on the person. I know men who have no interest in marriage and kids. I know women who have no interest. I know men who want kids, and I know women who wants kids. There's no rule. I know a woman who adopted well into her forties and is now a single mom. Everyone's different.
Load More Replies... BigFish Artwire 3 years ago
Most of these have to do with having money, which of course you have less when you have kids. But the benefits that they list are all about money, and since I'm broke, I think I'll have kids then haha. Just kidding :)
Val 3 years ago
Single childfree people in my country pay waaaayyyy more taxes than couples with or without kids. This is really frustrating and actually quite discriminating.
Load More Replies... lenka 3 years ago
Being childfree is an amazing choice (or otherwise) to make and presents opportunities - but so many of these comments assume you have to choose between a life you want and children. For women that has traditionally been the case – but it doesn’t have to be. I was late to marriage and kids and didn’t really want kids (until I did) so I did most of these things before I had kids. Got my degree. Travelled the world alone. But the thing is… all these things are still possible with kids. You don't have to sacrifice yourself and all your dreams for your children. I still take impromptu weekends away on my own or with my girlfriends, I can still go to the bar and dance 'til 3am, I learnt a new language, I have hobbies, I work a fulfilling career and I am not defined by my role as mother. All of this is possible because my partner is an actual EQUAL carer of the children. We work together as a team and together we make sure that we each have what we need to be who we are.
lenka 3 years ago
My point is… if you don’t want kids – great!! But if you do, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sacrifice yourself.
Load More Replies... Queerios 3 years ago (edited)
I liked seeing the point of view of all the women in this article; even though I'm way too young to have kids now, this is making me very comfortable in my not wanting kids haha. However, I'm pretty disappointed with the amount of people commenting and saying that these people are selfish, or asking why they couldn't do things like travel/have pets with kids. Like, it's these women's choice and they're living fulfilling lives. The article isn't about what you can do ONLY if you don't have kids, it's people telling why they personally didn't and what they enjoy about it. Please just respect their decisions and if you don't like it, kindly frick off and go read a different article
Carrie de Luka 3 years ago
Hear hear. Comes across a tad desperate to justify their choices to be honest. People having children is a purely selfish act - they have children because THEY want them. No other reason. Fine, great. Just let people alone and stop acting as if those without are going to be alone 'at the end' and 'you'll end up in a care home'. Loads of people WITH children end up in care homes. Awful argument with such a self-centred core.
Load More Replies... Tracy Aubrey 3 years ago
Stopped reading around 30th post, it seems all these people have a lot of money and good jobs, so maybe that's why they're living their best life.. I knew very early on that I won't have kids due to a medical condition. I have had a great life so far, have a niece and nephew that I dote on and now since I've recently gotten married, I have a wonderful stepson who spends half of his time with us and half with his mom. Having been childless all this time, I can honestly say that I've gotten used to having my life/time etc. to my self and I really don't know if I'll be able to handle having a child, but every now and then, I feel that I would give anything to hold That little precious bundle in my arms. I do feel that I've missed out on the joy of being a parent.
Justine Queequag 3 years ago
Till that precious bundle poops on ya.... :)
Load More Replies... A Jones 3 years ago
I don't have a desire to sprout my own family. Also the other reason I don't have a desire to make my own belly spawn is that I'm asexual. I'm in a good career (although not very high paying), I enjoy going out, playing VG, reading (daily), traveling, and coming home to calm and quietness after a long day. I always disliked being asked about 'when are you gonna find someone?' or 'are you going to have kids' by folks, it's just pushy and rude. I don't have a mate, but don't want to rush with getting into a relationship just yet.
BORKADYMUSIC 3 years ago
Hello from a fellow ace! And I completely agree, my family is always saying things like “WHEN you have a boyfriend…” and “WHEN you get married and have kids…” nah, I’m gonna be a musician and live with my best friend in Canada, suck it society!!!
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
Lots of love for these women and people in general who choose for what they want in life and aspire to be. My personal view on the matter is that there can exist a parallel between these types of lifestyle and the one that includes a partner (potential kids will make things more difficult, that's true). A good, healthy relationship will nurture your preferred lifestyle(s), wishes and dreams. I try to actively encourage my boyfriend to do what he wants and loves in life, even if that for example means moving away for a period of time. He does the same for me. If we belong together, we'll make it work. If we can't make it work, then life has different journeys planned for each of us. Life doesn't demand you choose between getting married or living your preferred life - the wrong type of people do.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I'd like to add that a relationship is never a must in life, of course!
Load More Replies... Hseed 3 years ago
My wife and I always say it would be great to have the possibility of two lives: one with kids and one without. I'm a proud father of two kids that I love more than my own life, but my wife and I wanted kids from the beginning. We had them pretty late cause we were having so much fun by ourselves. That's why I understand and respect both decisions made by people.
Hseed 3 years ago
It's kind of sad when people rely their happiness and meaning of life in the fact of having children.
Load More Replies... Loty 3 years ago
All the posts here can be summarized with 1 line: Kids are expensive and since I don't have that expense I'm free to spend my money on...
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I see a lot of that too. But not everyone falls into that category. I can afford kids. I can afford a brood of my own, plus all of yours and all of your grandkids and still have whatever I want. But I won’t have kids because I hate them. They’re cringy and boring, loud for no reason, they’re uncomfortable to look at, their voices are shrill and grating, their mouths are dirty, they want everything, they know nothing, they can’t even function to wipe their own butts, they are repetitive and naggy, unappreciative most of the time, they can’t do anything cool or talk about anything interesting, they’re style crampers who take up too much time that could be spent doing something better. Doesn’t matter what I spend my money on, that’s irrelevant. It won’t be kids tho.
Load More Replies... You May Like “Always Play Along”: 40 Women Reveal The Strict Rules Of Girl Code That They’ll Never Break Woman Shocked To Realize She Can’t Trust What Her Husband Says As He’s A Pathological Liar Man Goes Online To Vent About A Cheating Wife, Gets A Harsh Reality Check
Mantas Kačerauskas
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Related on Bored Panda
