The holiday season is in full swing, and we feel like it’s the best time of the year to remember how wholesome, kind, supportive, welcoming, and selfless people can truly be, despite their perceived differences. That’s why we’re featuring the ‘Gates Open, Come On In’ subreddit, an online community of nearly 340k people today.
The online group presents itself as the exact opposite of r/gatekeeping and features folks being true legends who accept others no matter who they are, instead of angry gremlins who don’t want to let anyone new into their communities. Scroll down for some of the best anti-gatekeeping posts and hard proof that people really do have each others’ backs when push comes to shove.
Pssst, Pandas, if you’re looking to restore some more faith in humanity, then you’ll definitely want to check out Bored Panda’s previous article about some more great real-life anti-gatekeeping examples. You can read it right here.
British psychotherapist Silva Neves shared with Bored Panda his take on why some people feel the need to act as gatekeepers at all. "The theory is that it comes from our inner sense of survival. At times when we lived in tribes, it was part of survival to fear people outside of the tribe because they might have been a threat to the tribe," he explained to me. "In our modern world, to some extent, we have kept that sense of survival, although unnecessary now, but still subconsciously strong."
However, Silva notes just how much impact even small gestures of kindness can have. "When we learn to be kind to others, we're actually learning to be kind to ourselves. We need both." Scroll down for to read what he had to say about this.
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"We don't often realize that a very small gesture of kindness, even just a smile to a stranger, can trigger a chain of kindness and love to their social circle, and the ripple effects can be felt to the greater society," psychotherapist Silva shared with Bored Panda the power that even a small act of kindness can have in the world around us. In fact, we're naturally hard-wired to help others.
Everyone (Saw This Posted Somewhere Else On Reddit So Thought It'd Be Worth The Cross-Post)
Marry Whomever You Wish
"Being kind and helpful is a natural high for us, as it produced feel-good brain chemicals, so it tends to make us happier. Seeing others happy can also produce feel-good chemicals. So it is all round a very good thing for physical and mental health to be kind to ourselves and others," he said.
"If we do that, we tend to live happier lives and, even if we don't always see it, it is important to remind ourselves that any small gesture of kindness contributes to a kinder world. And, right now, the world needs a lot more kindness."
I Just Like Animals
We Can All Get Along!
Everyone Starts Somewhere
‘Action for Happiness’ explained to me earlier that altruism and kindness are closely linked to our own happiness.
"Think about how you can reach out and do things for others, help a neighbor or volunteer for a cause, we get happiness high from helping other people. Or start small and simply list three things that you can be grateful for each night before bed,” Sarah Vero from ‘Action for Happiness’ shared with Bored Panda.
According to Sarah, the 10 keys to happier living are: “Giving, relating, exercising, awareness, trying out, direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance, and meaning. We are likely to be happier if our lives have direction, meaning, and purpose and if we are part of something bigger than ourselves.”
Depression Gateopening
Read It All
Keep Doing What You Like, Support Others Who Do The Sam
Vanessa King, the Head of Psychology at ‘Action for Happiness,’ noted that we’re a social species and that helping others out is part of who we are. Being kind, lending a helping hand are the “social glue that keeps us together.”
“When we do things for others it activates the reward center in the brain, so when we give a gift it feels the same as receiving a gift," Vanessa stressed.
“Small daily actions one at a time can help us to make altruism a lifetime habit. You could start out small by deciding you are going to smile at everyone you meet or pay three people a compliment today,” she said.
You're Not A Product
I have to say the internet ruined quite a few hobbies for me. Going out to find tips and tricks and finding communities full of people who are soooooo much better at it then I’ll ever be, discourages me too much. In “ye old days” I just did whatever I liked and never knew how bad I was at it. So now I just avoid those kind of hobbies online. I’m happier not knowing if I’m good or not :)
I Love This Man More Than Certain Family Members
Damn, son, just wear a crop top and some underpants. Get those wet and you'll get some real attention.
This Is Beautiful
Human beings don’t hold a monopoly on empathy. Plenty of other animals have feelings and have demonstrated that they feel bad for other beings if they’re in trouble. For instance, a while back I wrote about an experiment on rat friendship.
As it turns out, rats help each other out if they sense that they’re distressed. However, they prefer to help rats who are most like them. Scientist Inbal Ben-Ami Bartal told Bored Panda that “rats will help others of their ingroup (cagemates and strangers of the same strain) but not the outgroup (strangers of a black-furred strain they are not familiar with).” In other words, rats are selective in who they help. However, this behavior changes the more familiar rats become with members of their outgroup.
Working People Are My People!
Always keep in mind that your employer is paying you the least amount they feel they can to keep you around(Sure, there are exceptions, but 98% are).
Art Is For Everyone
Humiliation Fetish
“The encouraging thing is that we then found that cohabitation, living with a rat from the other strain for two weeks totally changes this behavior, and now rats will help that cagemate from the other strain. Even more impressively, after living together for two weeks with one rat of the other strain, they will help strangers from the other strain as well,” Bartal said.
The scientist added that social experience is actually what determines whether or not rats help each other, not their genetic similarity. Bartal said that in one case, rats were fostered at birth with those from another strain. “Like Mowgli, they were raised with the other strain and never encountered their own kind. When they grew up, they only helped rats of the adoptive strain, not the biological strain.”
For All Relationships
With Open Arms
You Are All Right
In Bartal’s view, a lot of the discussion on animal empathy gets stuck on semantic issues. “For instance, the definition of empathy, how can we say that animals really feel empathy the same way we do. But empathy is a construct. We don’t even know what it is in humans really!” she said.
“I operate on the assumption that there is an evolutionary continuum between species, and that the basic building blocks of our responses are shared. Being sensitive to distress in others and motivated to care about their suffering is as old as the moment mother and child became connected for survival after birth.”
I Liked This One
Exactly! I almost always play easy mode, because I suck at them, but still enjoy them. Gaming is supposed to be fun, relaxing and a way to escape reality, not a second job! Unless it is your job, of course :D
Can’t Decide Whether This Belongs Here Or In Humansbeingbros
Have A Seat, Enjoy The View, Everyone Is Welcome
Pros And Cons Of GF...
Anyone Can Play Games
Liberal Arts
Gaming Is For Everyone
My dad never had any sons. He introduced his two daughters to video games and motorcycle racing. I became a lifelong gaming enthusiast, and my little sister bought a motorbike. :D
Respect To You For Doing Anything
Drink What You Like!!!
Spread The Positivity
A Novel‘S Worth Of Nerd S**t
Let People Be Happy
Wholesome Hotel
Let's Just Love Everyone
If anyone wants to continue the heartwarming goodwill, Jewish Voice for Peace is a great organization that supports Palestinian self-determination, supports peace and justice in the Middle East, and stands against anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim, and anti-Arab bigotry.
Like What You Like
Everyone Is Welcome On This Server
Does This Doormat Count?
Vegan BBQ
You're Never Too Old For Success
It took me 33 years to finish my bachelor's degree. :) Finished my master's at age 61. NEVER Too late!
Load More Replies...Thinking you can't start anything new after a certain age is the highest form of self-sabotage. I've noticed I've actually become better at learning certain things now than I would have been 8 years ago.
50 and i still dont know what i want to be , iv'e done lots of different jobs at different levels of pay , didn't like any of them , not sure i'll find anything i'll love doing , not sure you're meant too , but money isnt everything , it helps , but more dont always mean better
I have a bachelor's. Failed apprenticeship. It was hard to work around the tradesman who clearly made life hard intentionally. Hate my job so pursuing computer programming and security. I'm nearly 40, two kids, failed marriage. I could stay down but there is so much to accomplish.
Good on you, took me to 50 before I found a job I love and my life partner, was worth the wait.
Load More Replies...How the hell are you supposed to accomplish so much in your 20s! You're literally just nodding along pretending to know what adulting is until you say f* this, I'm going to try to be happy. By then you're like 39.
People who set limits on other like this are those who wallow in jealousy, wanting everyone to be just as miserable as them because they gave up on life and themselves. Don't let other set your limits. Set your own and f***ing move them as you grow. Don't let c**ts dictate your potential or dreams
I am 40 and about to become a really good painter. It takes time and I enjoy all of it.
There is no right age to accomplish things. You can be eighty before you accomplish your goals and that is okay.
I agree. I got my bachelor at 28. Most of my 20's i was raising young kids (got them when i was 23 and 24). But it was at 30 i got my first stable job. I married again at 33 and have a 5 month old. And in januari i will go to uni again to get a master. Life is NOT over at 30.
I MORE THEN LOVE THIS MY DEPRESSION COMES FROM THINKING IM WAY TOO OLD TO ACOMPLISH ANYTHING AT ALL, I WISH I COULD KISS YOU ALL.
Not just too old. People kept telling me to get my bachelor's in nursing. I never did. I said I wasn't smart enough. Everybody argued that point with me. I am very smart. I just don't fit into that setting. And so much of it was just spitting back and putting together a bunch of quotes. No original thinking. I'm into original thinking. So many people aren't. I like learning for simply the sake of gaining knowledge. Not for the marks. Not for the degree. If I could just pick things I'm interested in, I'd pay to just be able to sit in the lectures and go to the library or internet site and read the material. That's the best way for me to learn. I'm retired now. I wish I could do that. Simply to learn.
Load More Replies...I became an engineer at Google (my version of a dream job) in my late 40s.
I was 50 before I started my own business. Am I rich; no. Am I happy? Yes.
I heard a story from a friend of mine who went to Ireland to study fiddle with a very old man who had been playing since he could hold the instrument. During a lesson the old man was just noodling aimlessly a bit and then he said, “I think I’m finally starting to get it.” He was in his nineties.
Think about it. If you live until 90 you are only half way through your adult life at 54
Oh and its never to late to get a higher degree if you really want. Maybe you got the needed brainskills later in your life then expected, but that is ok. At least you can try it, you never really know beforehand anyways.
The notion that certain milestones should be achieved in specific decades is rubbish. Who decides this? It just puts undue pressure on people to achieve certain things in a random time frame, and when they don't, they feel like failures. Nonsense!
I turn 38 next Thursday, and I'm in the final stages of the book I've been writing for 15 years.
I'm 46 and I remind myself every so often that Aaron Spelling, mega Hollywood producer, didn't "make it" until he was 50. You have time...I have time.
20s is for learning. College, military service, fumbling around to find a good job and learn to live on your own. Develop your style, likes and dislikes. Take your time. 60 is the new 30
There's always tomorrow, until there isn't. Never to late to do it.
Not everyone is given time but that's all the more reason to do whatever you like no matter how old or young. As long as it doesn't harm you or is harmful to others, DO IT!!!
It really makes me mad reading BP articles like "What surprised you in your thirties" and people writing about their failing bodies, going to sleep at 9 o'clock, acting like they're just waiting to die. Who sold them that crap? Old at 30... I was partying till I had my first child at 40, enrolled in college at 36, and changed my career completely at 34.
Not everybody is as privileged as you. Chronic pain and fatigue are real and many suffer them while being silenced by comments like yours
Load More Replies...For masters scholarship seekers, most of the scholarship are for age limit 30, meaning if you get aver 30, you lost
I thought I was too old to go back to school when I was 35, went back when I was 50 and never had so much fun in my entire life!
My husband started a model rocket company when he was 50. While he was working part-time as security at Indianapolis Raceway Park. He met Forest Lucas, who encouraged him, and when my husband worried that he was too old, Mr. Lucas said, "Hell, when I was your age, I was still driving trucks!" I'll never forget it.
I keep telling myself exactly this. Not entirely sure I believe myself, though.
In my 60s and people in their 20s are like kids to me. You have lotsa time.
Average age-span in Western world is around 80 now. 30 is not even half-way. I went back to school around 30, moved to a new town around 40, and bought a house around 45.
And if you never "accomplish" anything? I have no carreer to speak of, don't want kids, don't like to travel or go out much really. Never finished uni. Also don't have fame, a whole lot of money or much in my life that a lot of people would find interesting. But I'm turning 40 in a few weeks and I have a wonderful guy who I can spend ages next to while not even saying anything, just doing our own stuff, have two terribly irregular cats, a massive garden I don't know how to care for but I love, have a hobby I'm obsessed with and... And that's it. And that's enough.
The "Iron Gran" just finished her 6th IRONMAN at 78 years old. Said she started training after 50. She has been in 10 IRONMANs and now has finished 6 and counting... so there's that!
I originally graduated as an art student, in college, straight after school then spent years doing nothing, being depressed.. now at 26 (well, by next week xD) I'm a Mortuary student, it's never too late to do anything. Yes, I'm still quite young in comparison but still xP
I started playing guitar at 54. You're NEVER too old to learn new things
With a good innings you will be on this planet for at least 80 years so you need to spreed out your achievements and adventures or your will get bored towards the end. And boredom kills. Live your life through love, fun and learning.
Graduated nursing school at 46 after a long road of jobs I hated. Finally found the courage to go to school and do the thing I should have done years before. I'm now in management and getting a master's in nursing leadership and management. I'm "only" 49. Sometimes life picks up speed as we age.
People used to have kids in their early 20s, and that was the end of them as individuals.
This Subreddit In A Nutshell. This Applies To So Many Communities
When The Old Becomes New Again
Love Is Always Valid. Assume The Best First!
this! i am truly loved for the first time in my life, and im in my early 40s. its amazing and i want to share that. If you've always had that it might seem a bit lame to post about it, but take a second to consider experiencing it for the first time
Love What You Are
No Beer Is Girly Beer
I Love My Grandma So Much. She Got Her Point Across Without Being Mean To The Family Friend
Can't Argue With Mom!
Like What You Like
You can find men or women attractive and it not be sexual at all...
There's Some Logic There
As A Metal Head, Everyone Is Welcome!
Vent’s Open Come On In
Fire
Play The Game Any Way You Want
Note: this post originally had 79 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
Lovely post! I agree with them all, and forgive me I know I'll get down voted, but I just don't feel comfortable with gender neutral toilets. For no other reason than the fact there are some real dangerous creeps in this world. It just scares me I guess.
Over 20 years ago I studied in Copenhagen and the school had gender neutral toilets. They still have them and it was absolutely no problem when I was there. What I always wonder, why do apparently a lot of people honestly think a "women only"-sign will somehow keep male rapists out of women's bathrooms? An insane amount of women and girls have already been molested or worse in "their" (public) bathroom by despicable bastards. Men and boys have been molested in their bathrooms by despicable bastards. Most people are decent folks, so don't fear average dudes in your bathroom. It also smells a wee bit of transphobia, too, especially when trans people don't "pass".
Load More Replies...I know this maybe the same post as before but I still want to do it. To all the people reading this: You are beautiful, you are unique, you have so much talents. You are a special protagonist in your story. This may be the end of 2021. If there's any good things happen in your life, keep moving forward because it's not the end of the story, this is a new chapter of your life. If bad things had happened to you, don't stop, keep marching, because you are in your character development story. We may have never meet face to face before, but we are friends that shaking hands and said how do you do, no matter where we are from, what color we have, if we are are part of queer or not or what religions we follow. May your day fill with rainbows
Genuine Q: is there a label for people who don't like labels? No problem with other people doing it if it works for them but I've always struggled to think of myself as anything except just a person and I don't like feeling I have to pick a box and stay in it.
I agree entirely! I remember being in school (a little before gender fluid etc was as present in the media) and going 'I like this, but don't really fit into this group' etc. I don't think you need to label yourself or others, it doesn't effect how I interact with people and why should it? I don't even find job titles something I need to know about people in my personal life.
Load More Replies...You know I find it funny that boredpanda takes a lot of its content from Reddit but practically everyone on Reddit hates boredpanda because if all the liberals lol
Lovely post! I agree with them all, and forgive me I know I'll get down voted, but I just don't feel comfortable with gender neutral toilets. For no other reason than the fact there are some real dangerous creeps in this world. It just scares me I guess.
Over 20 years ago I studied in Copenhagen and the school had gender neutral toilets. They still have them and it was absolutely no problem when I was there. What I always wonder, why do apparently a lot of people honestly think a "women only"-sign will somehow keep male rapists out of women's bathrooms? An insane amount of women and girls have already been molested or worse in "their" (public) bathroom by despicable bastards. Men and boys have been molested in their bathrooms by despicable bastards. Most people are decent folks, so don't fear average dudes in your bathroom. It also smells a wee bit of transphobia, too, especially when trans people don't "pass".
Load More Replies...I know this maybe the same post as before but I still want to do it. To all the people reading this: You are beautiful, you are unique, you have so much talents. You are a special protagonist in your story. This may be the end of 2021. If there's any good things happen in your life, keep moving forward because it's not the end of the story, this is a new chapter of your life. If bad things had happened to you, don't stop, keep marching, because you are in your character development story. We may have never meet face to face before, but we are friends that shaking hands and said how do you do, no matter where we are from, what color we have, if we are are part of queer or not or what religions we follow. May your day fill with rainbows
Genuine Q: is there a label for people who don't like labels? No problem with other people doing it if it works for them but I've always struggled to think of myself as anything except just a person and I don't like feeling I have to pick a box and stay in it.
I agree entirely! I remember being in school (a little before gender fluid etc was as present in the media) and going 'I like this, but don't really fit into this group' etc. I don't think you need to label yourself or others, it doesn't effect how I interact with people and why should it? I don't even find job titles something I need to know about people in my personal life.
Load More Replies...You know I find it funny that boredpanda takes a lot of its content from Reddit but practically everyone on Reddit hates boredpanda because if all the liberals lol