“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma

Relatable. I've had friends get cross with me because I went through major crisis situations without asking for their help. It honestly never occured to me to do so.

This is me. Even when I’ve had surgery I’ve gone alone and said I’ll take care of myself during recovery. It would feel unnatural any other way.

Ditto. My mom exaggerated every illness to get attention. (She didn't get colds, she had "the flu"; it wasn't a headache, it was a "migraine".) If you were sick, she had to be sicker. If you complained about symptoms, you'd get "it's not that bad" (so make her some tea while you're up). So I went the opposite. Don't show weakness. Work through the pain. Just the thought of talking to a doctor about my problems makes my stomach turn.

Even when I finally decided to ask help, none were willing help... Rather be independent than dissapointed

Similar. My mum used to whine about how much help, both time and financial, that my sisters needed. So, I point blank refused to ask for any help. And struggled. Furthermore, she left more to them in her will because she must have figured they needed it and I was ok. When I was drowning. I detest asking for help to this day and accepting it when offered, or just given, I always feel guilty.

I used to be like this and then middle age set in and I decided f it, no one is going to advocate for me but me. Now I have no problem saying no and pushing back if I don't like something.

I was brought up to be of service to everyone else. Self-sacrifice. Humility - you know, turn the other cheek (which only results in that getting slapped, too). Has not served me well because I've been a doormat with a occasional chip on my shoulder.

Stop doing this before you wake up one day and have nothing of your own.

ah my dad is a bit like this

I resemble those comments

Adhd and anxiety did that to me (the first bit)

Bonus points if the helping others then has a negative effect on me.

Yes, a high tolerance for being mistreated. I gave up my extreme empathy when I began to spread myself too thin until there was nothing of me left.

Wow. Never saw this described so perfectly before.

Preparing for worse case scenario is a sure fire way not to be caught off guard. If good things happen than I will be pleasantly surprised. If they don't i am still prepared.

Hyper awareness can be a symptom of ptsd

Or that their emotions, if negative, are directed at me somehow. Then I mentally retrace my steps to see if I encountered them before now.

I am also hyper aware of other peopke emotions. But there is also this weird thing I do that is hard to explain. I link my emotions to people like if I am mad I link that feeling to a person and then I feelbthis is how this person must be like.

I can relate. As a child, whenever two adults started arguing, it usually meant that the police would get involved. Either someone was going to get hurt, or killed. I personally have witnessed both.

I was always the peacemaker btw my parents and siblings when they screamed at each other (which was every f*****g day). These days I value peace and quite and hate people shouting - gives me a “flight or fight” response.

crazydogmama

crazydogmama

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One co-worker told me she couldn't take my apologies seriously, because I was apologizing all the time.

Finally gave this up at age of 60 after a lifetime of being mistreated by bullies.

"sorry" is one of those words that can borrow problems, as it is generally interpreted by different people in different ways. Something I remember reading somewhere... If you are a woman it means: I understand. If you are a man: I'm accepting responsiblity If you are the boss: It's your fault. If you are in a court of law: I give up. I remember a person telling me that perspective is an illusion, it's possible he believed that most people will just think you're a smuck.

THIS.

Yea this is annoying.

This way of thinking sucks because if someone likes you, you automatically question their judgement and then if you like someone and they don't like you back, you see that as validation that no one wants you. It just sucks. Parents have no idea of the lasting damage they do.

Ah this is me 😅 does anybody else also have that thing where if they hear someone whispering they automatically think the people are talking bad about them? Makes it hard to study at libraries sometimes

It ALWAYS surprises me when someone is kind to me. Really, truly shocked. Especially, if a man is simply nice with no ulterior motive.

Yes I've been friends with you for 10+ yrs but how do I know that you weren't just being polite this whole time

I struggled with this one for years. I couldn't believe that anyone actually wanted to be nice to me, compliment me, etc. I always wondered what they wanted from me. It took me a long time to start trusting people while still keeping the toxic ones at arms length.

And, it’s importantly, to gauge what their mood was.

100%. Hypervigilance is my middle name.

As an adult, I am the same way. I thought I would grow out of it, but I did not. As a teacher, I get upset when my class gets too loud because I can't hear my surroundings.

Once you've developed hypervigilance, I don't think you ever stop being hypervigilant.

I have PTSD from a childhood event. Hypervigilance is part of it. No people around that I haven't already seen, where's that car going, I don't like people right up next to me at a stop light, strange/loud noises freak me out. I notice a lot of things friends aren't even aware of, but I feel safer knowing where, who, how I am.

The "Probably going to get buried" part speaks just as much confirmation to the self sabotage as the rest of the statement.

You could try my method - don't have any relationships, because then they can't hurt you. I'm sure it's much healthier

Hellcaste's Wife

Hellcaste's Wife

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This is a patent BPD behavior.