30 People Share Things In Job Descriptions That Instantly Scream “Toxic”

I sometimes wish I had the strength to become a mortician

No. That's an IT developer.

There is one. IT support. Dead inside, the worst jokes about customers, stupid requests every day,... amazing job.

All the morticians I've met socially seem to think they're funny, but they're not.

You get the people hate for free!

Imagine they would write: "You will be our one-size-fits-all solution!"

Turned down a graphic design job at a realty company many years ago, when the HR woman told me I would be greeting arriving clients, typing forms and letters, buying ad space for them. I told her, "I think you are looking for administrative assistant, not a designer."

If it's a small company, they can't hire those 3 people so they want one person that can do all 3 roles. I don't see the problem with that. If that's not the kind of position you're looking for, that's fine, but I don't see the problem with advertising it so you can avoid it.

Fast paced + attention to detail = every designer job description. I think it depends on the industry, no?

"Why won't you regularly stay late for no overtime?" is also often connected to "It's like you're only doing this job for the money!" Um, let me refer you to a dictionary you can see what the definition of "job" is...

In almost all job descriptions I have seen is "and all other duties as assigned," meaning you are expected to do anything/everything you are told to do, even if it has nothing to do with the rest of the job description.

I brought you into this company and I can take you out.

When you hate your family tho... LOL

Or it's incredibly clique based and if you don't fit in they will fabricate something to get you fired

"Work hard, play hard" was pretty much the motto of a corporation in my area. A summer student was reprimanded because he didn't eat lunch with his colleagues on the team (he had nothing in common with them). So he ate lunch with them 2 or 3 times as week and listened to their conversations (no, he didn't get paid extra for that).

I don't understand what's so attractive in that phrase anyway, to be honest.

...they abuse you and run you into the ground and most of the staff are alcoholics or coke fiends.

This is bull, at our company we grind for four days and then do something fun on Friday like leave early paid or go play paintball.

I had a client that worked in finance/hedge funds. Every Friday evening she came to get her lashes done because on Fridays management would get them drunk at lunch and then make her cry by telling the employees how awful their performance was that week. I was so confused why she continued to work there...money is not that valuable.

And the CEO is under 35 years old with the maturity of an 18 year old.

I applied for a job with almost that exact phrase -- turned out that the "fun loving office" meant an air hockey table and beer Fridays and regular fun trips - skiing, bowling, sailing, etc. Didn't see any sexual harassment going on, but they had a surprisingly diverse engineering team -- almost half female.

Shoulder massages are great!

Not a great vibe then

For me, the phrase "we are like a family" is the biggest, reddest flag on Earth. I've learnt nothing good has ever come from it.

All those pitiful applicants who think the “flexibility” means the company will accommodate the schedule the employee wants.

"Like a family" is such serious horseshit. Oh, really? You own 2 homes, while I can barely pay rent. You have multiple vehicles that are all less than 2 years old. You can afford vacations. Like family basically means you will be expected to perform all sorts of tasks not in your job description. You will be expected to clean the restrooms/kitchenette. And like all families - there are always favorites (and it will never be you).

"Competitive wages" means nothing, all that matters is what they offer you.

Hey can you spot me a 20? C'mon we're family right? Help a bro out here.

“We don’t want to train you, you should be an applicant with experience.”

If it is “self-guided” it means that you will have ZERO support, in my experience

How does "male environment' and "established mixed team" go together? It's either a mixed team or it's a male environment....

So employees will get both offended and intimidated. That's not a male environment (as if that makes it okay), it's a toxic environment.

Funny how when the situation was reversed for me it was addressed completely differently. I applied for a job in an advert which just stated the job title and duties. It was at the end of my interview, my interviewer offered me the job there and then. Then she said, 'this is female dominated environment and the ladies here have not worked with a man in the building for quite some time, If you accept the position, I just want you to know that there may be a period where they will have to adapt some of their behaviours, because they are not used to having a man around. If anything upsets or offends you, please let me know'. I later found out that before I started they had posted signs saying things like, 'remember to lock the bathroom door, he doesn't want to walk in on you'.

LOL I know some dudes who are the thinnest skinned people I've ever met. Male env just means they will not respect your boundaries and will claim you're a weakling if you say anything about it

They hire as many attractive women as they can but the women keep leaving because of the blatant sexual harrassment

Boss asked me if I knew how to multitask. I asked if they knew how to multipay.

also implied that there are mass quitting/firing recently

One shop I worked at changed the team (of 2) like every year - there were one guy that worked there for 14 months before he got fired. My replacement was replaced after 4 months

It's even better when they list products or services which only they use or produce like home grown software.