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“Will Not Be Forgotten”: 30 Things Women Had To Forgive For The Sake Of Their Marriage
Interview With Expert
Anyone who’s been in a long term relationship knows that not every day can be perfect. Love prevails, even through disagreements and difficult moments, but a relationship can’t all be sunshine and rainbows. And because the people we love the most have the potential to hurt us the most, it’s inevitable that our partners will at some point cause us pain.
Women on Reddit have recently been sharing the things they’ve had to forgive and move past for the sake of their relationships, so we’ve gathered some of their stories below. Keep reading to also find a conversation with Dating and Relationships Coach Rachel New, and be sure to upvote the stories that strike a chord with you.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Maybe not what you mean, but a major thing I had to get over
It doesn't have to be done my way. It doesn't have to be 100% clean. If I want it done my way, to my standard, then I have to do it but it's okay for things to be done to a lesser standard if it means I don't have to do everything always. He doesn't clean the way I would, and he will always miss certain things, but at least he's cleaning too. I don't have to love his cooking, at least he's cooking so I don't have to make every meal. As long as he's trying, we don't fight about it. I never used to accept good enough, now I do.
François Bouzigues 2 years ago
This is huge. So many couples are having arguments because partner A does 90% of the chores in a limited time and here comes partner B taking 3 hours to clean the kitchen sparkling but nothing else is done and suddenly partner B "needs to do everything by themselves otherwise nothing is done"
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
For me, doing dishes includes wiping down the counter. ubby doesn't wipe the counter,but the dishes are washed every day, and in the rack for me to put away. Good enough
Mental Liberals 2 years ago
My ex had a good point: if it bothers you, do something about it and be quiet. If the other did it, and it doesn't bother you, ignore it. It's worked very well for my own piece of mind - didn't care what she thought and she divorced me anyway, since it was her original plan.
DuckDuckGooseberry 8 months ago
My Mam's like this. I'm the "he"... It feels like I'm suffocating sometimes, and she won't accept the fact I'm trying my best
RELATED:
#2
I was reading “The Bourne Identity.” He had already finished it. We got in a fight, and he told me how it ended. That was in 1985. I have technically forgiven him, but in my heart - not really.
Bobby 2 years ago
I have to really try not to do this when I'm excited about a story. Spoilers almost never bother me (unless it's a mystery) so I forget that they do bother other people
Catlady6000 2 years ago
I want the spoilers, tell me the ending. It whet my appetite for the story. Also, I never really got over the trauma of Old Yeller
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PeachPossum 2 years ago
Gads, I have a friend who has to read the ending first before starting at the beginning. This is especially true for mysteries. Worse, she tells ME whodunit before I have even started. Spoilsport. Half the fun of a whodunit is matching wits with the detective and figuring out whodunit. I'm getting even though. I'm writing a murder mystery, and I still haven't told her whodunit. She's having to read it chapter by chapter and making wrong guesses. Gotta love those red herrings strewn across the paths. Sweet revenge at last.
Doyle Alan 2 years ago
My brother did this to me when we started watching the movie Ladder 49. He got mad at me 2 minutes in and told me how it ended. I'm still not speaking to him!!! 🤣
Amelia Jade 2 years ago
I've always been a big reader, and have always had books sitting around. My dad used to randimly pick one up, flip go the end and loudly read the last line. He thought it was funny, even when I'd cry. I'm in my 40s and still hate when someone picks up one of my books. They're just picking it up out of interest. But I'm still worried they're about to read out the last line.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
A storybook? I mean, yes I'd be mad at first, but it's just a storybook.
To learn more about how important forgiveness is in relationships, we reached out to UK-based Dating and Relationships Coach Rachel New, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda.
"Forgiveness is one of those words that no one defines!" the expert shared. "It means very different things to different people. For some, it means moving on, for others forgetting – which is impossible to do."
"A good definition is 'giving up the right to bear a grudge,' which means you don’t bring it up in future arguments or make your partner feel bad about it, but you can still say, 'This triggers memories of when you did x, even though I know we worked through it at the time.' So don’t put pressure on yourself to forgive without thinking through what it means," Rachel explained.
#3
First baby. The baby was in the NICU due to complications so I was alone in the room. My FIL comes from out of town and he doesn’t drive so my husband spent 4 days being his chauffeur and taking him shopping and out to eat while I’m in the hospital alone, sick (I had developed a bad infection), spending as much time as I can down in the NICU trying to nurse a baby covered in tubes and wires, eating hospital food while my husband and FIL ate nice restaurant food. When did come he had his dad with him and his dad didn’t see any reason to come to the hospital since he couldn’t see the baby, so the visits lasted a few minutes and then FIL wanted to go to a store or go back to the apartment to relax. Husband never came alone. After a few days of being alone I finally lost it on my husband. I was sobbing about how lonely I was and how much he had let me down and how he prioritized his dad over me and his son. He felt horrible and the behavior instantly stopped. He was by my side the rest of my stay and the next time we had a baby he told his dad to stay in a hotel and get a cab to the hospital.
I forgave this but I’ve never forgotten it.
Sonja 2 years ago
I think this was due to a very unhealthy relationship with a demanding father and this was the moment OP's husband realized how toxic the relationship was. I think he was so used to cater to his fathers narcissistic whims that he needed the kick in the behind to see it. That's why he then immediately did a turn for the better. He had to choose and luckily chosen right.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Some guys are like that, they're a bit oblivious. That he changed his ways after you brought it up proves this, otherwise he wouldn't have changed. I wouldn't have waited 4 days; hopefully he's been less of a bonehead since then :)
Gabriela 2 years ago
I feel this. That first night is the loneliest and the one you feel the responsibility the most. He too left me on my own, even thought I had packed him an overnight bag. I didn’t say anything, I was the mother. I was the one who wanted the baby. Now, I’m still doing things on my own, as a single parent.
PeachPossum 2 years ago
Oblivious to OP's needs. I blame her husband's first-time-father ignorance here. Maybe he was thinking they're both in good hands and he didn't need to be there. I am angrier at his dad for not insisting that he be at the hospital with his wife and newborn; he is after all a father, and he ought to have known what his wife went through to give birth to OP's husband. Some men, like my ex, downplay that, don't see the seriousness in it. Maternal mortality is higher than infant mortality in the USA. Pregnancy and birth are the most dangerous things a woman can do with her body, and hundreds of things can go wrong in an instant. A father witnessed his wife collapse and die from post-partum preeclampsia. He didn't know it could happen, and now he's trying to raise a newborn alone while grieving for his beloved wife.
Laura Williams 1 year ago
Vulnerability is hard to let go. You were vulnerable and he missed the mark.I get why you can't quite forget.
#4
My husband got drunk, fell asleep on the couch and dropped our newborn on the floor. He didn't wake up. I came out of bed after hearing the continuous screams to find our baby face down on the floor. I was so f*****g angry. We have since moved past that, his apologies & he no longer gets drunk with the baby in his care. I haven't forgotten, but I do forgive him. I saw how upset he was with himself.
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
They are really lucky the child is alive. Falling asleep drunk on a couch with a baby is a common suffocation cause for the baby. I would never have entrusted him with a child again.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago (edited)
ok whoa, have you never made a mistake in your life? accidently let a finger slip and swiped your butt hole, does that mean you will never trust yourself to wipe again? he learned from his mistake as all humans do. if he did it AGAIN then yeah, I wouldn't trust him to not hurt the baby again.
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General Anaesthesia 2 years ago (edited)
"...he no longer gets drunk with the baby in his care..." When is the baby _not_ in his care? The baby could be in his exclusive care at any moment, accidents happen, so drinking so much that he can't care for the baby should be a no no. Period.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
I don’t think I could forgive this, unless the next words out of his mouth, after a profuse apology, was ‘I’ll never drink again.’
Kevin the Manager 2 years ago
Sweet Jebus! I thought you meant the INFANT didn't wake up! I thought, "Why was this even posted at all?!"
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Same thing I thought. Either way, for me it would have taken a massive amount of marital counseling, plus a sworn promise in writing to give up drinking, to get me to trust him again. Inebriated or sober, there's no excuse for that kind of negligence. Had he uttered one dismissive comment, OP would have been more than justified in filing for divorce and obtaining a restraining order. That's one "accident" that was 100% preventable.
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Stylishsidewaysbird 2 years ago
Hot take. There are some things that aren’t forgivable and this is one of them. That baby could have been killed from the drop or smothered to death. I’m judging the dad AND the mom for forgiving that.
Janny Lemay-Normand 6 days ago
Usually you don't stay with an a****t if you aren't one...
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KimB 2 years ago
Um okay this one I don't know...I don't have my own children but I raised two stepchildren from ages 2 and 3 so I missed the infant stages (thankfully) that being said if I had my own and my husband dropped my baby because he was drunk id probably lose my shoe in his a** and I don't know if I could move past that. I'm usually more forgiving but babies are just so fragile!
#5
I started running last year and signed up for a local race to have something to train for. My husband runs 2-3 miles a day and wanted to do it with me so I let him. I over-trained the week of the race and with just over a mile left in the race, my hip completely gives out and I can barely walk, much less run the remainder. I’m heartbroken and so disappointed in myself. He already runs faster than I do so he finished the race by the time I texted him that I was going to be a while because I had an injury. I wanted to finish so I walked the remainder. When I got to the finish line about twenty minutes later, he’d already left because it was “super hot” and he wanted to get in air conditioning sooner. So I had to cross the finish line alone and in a ton of pain. It took me a long time to forgive him and I still won’t race with him anymore because he’s just not supportive.
Brenda Coe 1 year ago
NOT sorry, I totally agree...the husband is an a--hole. I don't know that I could ever forgive that.
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SuperChicken 2 years ago
I'm sorry, but your husband is a jacka$5. Granted, he's hot and sweaty but couldn't he have waited for you? Especially, knowing that you're injured? Yes, you don't have to race with him. Go with a close friend, whom you know will support you, injured or not. It might even be more fun.
Rita Benkő 2 years ago
Actually, husband here was not necessarily wrong. In hot weather, immediately after a long run, the blood pressure regulation is not 100%, not to mention dehydration. So, it might have been a choice between going to an air conditioned place, or supportively getting a heat stroke or simply fainting around the finishing line.
Rachel also says that understanding might be a healthier first response than immediately jumping to forgiveness. "You need to understand why they behaved that way, what’s important to them in that situation, what needs were met through the behavior," she explained.
"If they don’t have insight into this, you might request they get some support for that, so they don’t repeat the behavior," she added. "Maybe it’s linked to a mental health issue or disability or neurodivergent trait that they can’t change or that's beyond their current capacity to change. And then they need to hear your needs and what’s important to you in the situation, and you need to feel fully heard."
#6
Forgot me in the hospital. I had told him to pick me up at 2pm, and he agreed. 2 pm comes and goes, 3 pm comes and goes... I have no money for a bus ticket because I had been too stressed to properly pack my bag when I went to the hospital.
I walked the 10km home, where he was working and completely unaware of the time.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
My husband forgot me in the car when he picked up me & newborn. Parked in front of the house, took the baby first, had to come to help me cause a) I couldn't sit / get up / move properly and b) it was a small 2 door Mazda hatchback and I was in the back seat, stranded behind the driver's seat, unable to push it forward and exit myself. He just sat on the couch with the baby completely infatuated, I had to call him on his phone about ten minutes in, after I realized I'd been forgotten :D I still don't let him live it down :D
arthbach 2 years ago
Not good. But, it is so sweet he was so taken up with your baby that all else just melted away into the background. Of all the reasons to be forgotten, this is probably one of the most wholesome.
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Power puff scientist 2 years ago
couldnt call? one hour late because you forget the time is already pretty bad but another 2 hour walk and he still didnt realize anything? thats borderline stupid
ToGo 2 years ago
Phone him? Phone someone to get in contact with him? Phone someone else to come get you? Have someone send him an email if he works on his computer? Ask to borrow change for the bus from someone? Ask the hospital for help/advice on these situations? He was dead wrong for forgetting in her never mind for so long but it kinda sounds like OP was looking for a reason to make it worse for pity points.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
I am a consumer of the oft-maligned American health care system. I am always offered a bus pass upon discharge from the hospital. With psych admissions they return me to where they picked me up - the longest distance being 183 miles between Colorado Springs and Sterling, CO.
Load More Replies... MushroomHead22 2 years ago
this seems a little odd; if this was recently... cell phone. if it wasn't still phone, the hospital has a phone you can use. at 2:15 you should have called your home.
James Howell 2 years ago
Did you/him have a telephone?? Just asking... I would have lost my s$#T on my partner for me having to call. let alone just forget about me.... No excuse.
Honcho Chorcoran (who/cares) 2 years ago
This must have happened before the invention of telephones
Dr Robert Neville 2 years ago
My mother was in hospital for a few days once, I said "give me a ring when you need picking up". She rings, I drive down to pick her up, she says she's outside the main entrance, I'm there, can't see her, we're on the phone to each other the whole time, eventually I end up parking and starting to look around for her. She's forgotten to tell me they'd transferred her to a different hospital the previous day, apparently that was my fault for not asking (I'd been to see her in hospital and she'd not mentioned it once).
#7
His mom. He had to learn (and thankfully did, but not without many arguments) to not feel that his first responsibility is his mom and brothers, but his partner (and later kids). Took 10 years to fully do so. It’s been 10 more blissful ones since.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
My situation similar but reversed, my husband is the eldest (41) brother (36) brother (33) his mom expects him to financially support all of them and their kids, while they’re living with her draining up all her household resources ( we’re supposed to fill that gap) I don’t think so
Laura Williams 1 year ago
Nope I love play stupid games get stupid prizes. They can't help themselves. Having a similar problem.
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DarkViolet 2 years ago
Not to put down supporting one's family (I have siblings), but there is a limit. The vows read "forsaking all others" for a reason. When your spouse's family INSISTS on encroaching on the time you should be spending with your spouse, that's overstepping. Your mother-in-law sounds like a lovely soul, one who didn't try to commandeer your husband. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case for others.
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DarkViolet 2 years ago
That wasn't the point. When you go from single to married, the dynamics have to change somewhat. If every time you and your SO wanted to have a quiet evening or go out to dinner your in-laws wanted something, it would kind of grind on you before long. The frequency, coupled with the non-urgency, can cause a marriage to fray around the edges.
Load More Replies... #8
When we were dating he was too much involved in his work, I didn't feel valued and voiced it many times. He said that it wouldn't be the same if we lived together. I had hard times trusting that. It was hard to believe that he would actually change. He asked me to move in 3 times. I declined 2 times. I was still very worried and stashing away breakup money in case it didn't work out. Even before it was the end of the 1st month together, he proved me wrong and made me feel like we're a united front and a family. Coincidentally, I went through the most difficult times of my life. I had family problems and health issues that keep appearing. I eventually got depressed. He stood by me, took me to my doctor's appointments, made necessary changes for me to feel better even though it wasn't his jam at all. We moved to a much calmer neighbourhood and he bought me a super soft bed due to my intense back pains. He believed that we should stay in a busy area because I'd have more distractions to feel better and he believed that hard bed is much better for my back. The neighbourhood change took my anxiety away and he noticed that. He is now a fierce soft bed advocate. We're more peaceful than ever. We got married last year and expecting our first baby in January.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Sounds like this guy actually EARNED your forgiveness, you chose well
DJ B 2 years ago
I don't understand. You say that a hard bed is better for your back, but he is a soft bed advocate?
DarkViolet 2 years ago
He ORIGINALLY believed that a hard bed would be good for her back (trust me, it's not).
Load More Replies..."Don’t be too quick to say, 'I forgive you,' and don’t feel under pressure to forgive just because your partner asks you for forgiveness," Rachel continued. "Unless you’ve fully processed it, you’ll just bury your feelings, and there will be resentment or insecurity."
"The partner who has wronged must take time to fully acknowledge how they have hurt their partner and how they feel about that," the expert says. "They need to acknowledge what’s important to their partner. In the example of folding the laundry, the partner needs to recognize what having clothes that aren’t creased represents. This is not a quick fix."
#9
Since he was suffering from childhood trauma I could not share my emotions openly. I would have to sort of wait to see if he is emotionally stable enough for me to unload myself on him. He has been able to provide me emotional support but sometimes I have had to deal it myself or put it aside to provide support to him because his issue was more damaging emotionally.
arthbach 2 years ago
There are times when a partner is unable to provide emotional support (for what ever reason). This doesn't mean people should go without support. Talk with friends, join support groups (in person, or on-line), talk with a therapist. There's lots of way gain emotional support. It's often counter productive to seek all emotional support from one person.
Kevin the Manager 2 years ago
100% THIS! Emotional support/mental health support is just as important as physical health support! I am glad to see that the medical community is FINALLY beginning to turn its collective attention on this. I have been seeing therapists for decades, and only now am I encountering ads for "Get a therapist quickly, easily & efficiently!" No shaming, no sarcasm, no jokes, just plain, simple, "Help is available!"
Load More Replies... Yayheterogeneity (her/she) het 2 years ago
Same here. But it's a sacrifice I'm gladly giving. We are in counseling right now and it's helping quite a bit in getting to know each other better and deeper. But yes, the trauma stood in between us and needs to be addressed and salvaged but I don't believe it happens right away.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
In a word: THERAPY. There's no shame in getting help, both of you.
BitchinintheBurgh' 2 years ago
What a wonderful partner you are <3 It takes discernment to know what he is ready to carry, and empathy to pass on certain subjects. Find someone to share these with please!
Ralph Watkins 1 year ago
a co-worker of mine suffered with depression. She made a few attempts. Her demanding husband kept telling to just get over it. His world was all about him. He ends up having a heart attack & a stoke at the same time. He will need round the clock care & he is already making monstrous demands on how she will have to answer his every order. She was in with the doctors & their team doing discharge planning. The husband would not shut up & about his demands. My co-worker walked over to the bed & told her husband, "just get over it". She walked out & abandoned him. No longer her problem.
Thomas Ewing 2 years ago
A Christian church can be a wonderful source of comfort. Shop around; there are GOOD ones.
Flora Porter 2 years ago
This reminded me of how easy it can be to fall into roles in a relationship. If you're the carer, it can sometimes only come to light when you're in need of care yourself and they're not able to switch roles.
#10
I was very dizzy and very tired for a couple weeks. He kept telling me I was fine and essentially saying I was being overdramatic about it.
I went to the hospital and as it turns out I was incredibly anemic and required three blood transfusions over a two day period.
He felt very, very bad.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
I absolutely hate it when men downplay your illness. Then suddenly a doctor tells them and it's all concern. As if I can't possibly be believed about my own body.
Sunny Day 2 years ago
They're projecting. They know they turn into a whiny over exaggerating baby every time they get sick, so they think everyone does that.
Load More Replies... PeachPossum 2 years ago
My now-ex-husband had a kidney stone that took days to pass. I took time off from work to look after him. Years later, when I had a kidney stone, his response was "You need to learn how to take care of yourself, lady." Yeah, that's one of the many reasons he is my ex.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
He knew how much that hurts and then told you this? I hope you donated his clothes to the shelter and wrote your name in permanent marker on his Playstation!
Load More Replies... MushroomHead22 2 years ago
my wife is very good at knowing when something is wrong with her. im not very good at noticing it, but i do notice when she's not "normal". in some cases i thought we should go to the emergency, she said no, in other cases she asked my opinion, although i wouldn't know since i don't know the pain she is in. basically, if someone needs to go to the hospital, and says they need to go, then go. its better to have wasted your time for no reason then waste their life.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
I caught a bacteria on a trip and lost Wright quickly, had to go to the toilet all the time etc. My hb was annoyed, but felt guilty when the doc told us what I had
StretcherBearer 2 years ago (edited)
I hate when people do this. It took me far longer than it should have for me to get help. I believed that I was a burden as a kid and that I was overreacting.
María Hermida 1 year ago
How do you know the other person is"a loved one"? Unfortunately, many people marry because they don't want to be alone, or because they want a permanent flatmate, not because they truly love their partner.
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Szilvia Kiszner 9 months ago
A couple of years ago I was 36 weeks pregnant on new year's eve and I had really bad stomach pain, just below the rib cage. It got worse and worse by the hour. He told me to sleep it off, but when I woke up it was like 10 times worse. He only asked me if we should go to the hospital to "shut me up" thinking I'd definitely say no. Six hours later I had an emergency C section and an appendectomy.
#11
Used “qat” on a triple word score in Scrabble. Never forget.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Qat or "khat" are the leaves of an Arabian shrub that are chewed as a stimulant.
BJ Hage 1 year ago
also means in English pustule, a worthless person, and to satisfy https://duckduckgo.com/?q=quat&va=i&t=h_&ia=web
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Kracken 2 years ago
My mum was a shocking cheat at Scrabble & would invent words, my step dad was a total k**b & too proud to admit he didn't know every word in the world so never questioned her, she won every game, still makes me laugh
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
OFFS. Really? EVERYONE does this. I’ve prolly played QAT six dozen times in my life. If you don’t do this, you’re not a real Scrabble player. (Same goes for ZA and XI.)
BJ Hage 1 year ago
OMFG!! I just checked and ALL THREE (za, xi, and quat) are allowed in Scrabble https://scrabble.merriam.com/words/start-with/za
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Rachel also shared some wise words about how to know if we're sacrificing too much for our partner. "A good way to approach things is to say, 'How can we balance both our sets of needs?' You don’t want to sacrifice your mental health or too much of your capacity or to repress your needs or emotions," she explained.
"The word 'sacrifice' frames the issue negatively – as a loss rather than a gain," the expert continued. "We have to ask, 'Do I have the capacity to do this in the long-term?' If it’s a behavior change, that is more than a one-off."
If you'd like to hear more advice from Rachel or seek guidance about your own relationship, be sure to visit her website right here!
#12
My husband was in charge of the laundry, because I was the breadwinner and he was home freelancing and watching over the kids. I would fold laundry because he was a sloppy folder.
I wore dressy T-shirts or knit blouses and turtlenecks for work. He would just shove them into the laundry basket to bring them up from the apt. bldg basement laundry facility, and they’d be incredibly creased by the time they cooled off.
That was bad enough, and then I hit a depression and an incredibly judgmental boss. I was fighting suicide ideation, and the weight of not being able to quit (I was the breadwinner, and he was bringing in $5,000/year—and I had the health insurance through my job, and it was pre-ACA).
I started really resenting that he wasn’t supporting me better. He didn’t do any f*****g research about health care alternatives, even if only for the kids; he wouldn’t look for a full-time job; he didn’t seem to be working that hard to find freelance work. His idea of supporting me was to hug me in the front hall as I sobbed about going in to work. AND HE COULDN’T EVEN JUST PULL MY SHIRTS OUT AND DRAPE THEM OVER SOMETHING SO THEY WOULDN’T WRINKLE.
I laid it out for him—that this wrinkled-shirts thing was hugely symbolic to me, that it meant more than just “or I look rumpled or have to iron things.” That it was important. He remembered to take hangers down three times (to put the shirts on as they came out of the dryer), and then stopped.
I really did consciously decide that I wanted to stay married, I had to stop depending on him for this; divorce wouldn’t have solved anything, and it seemed stupid to get divorced over his inability to remember not to cram my shirts down into the laundry basket.
And I got my own hamper and did my own laundry. But it was a major, major piece of distancing. To this day I don’t think he knows what a huge blow to our marriage it was. I couldn’t rely on him—I had to do it myself. It was massively symbolic. It reverberated for years.
I think he thought my doing my own laundry was just a pragmatic solution, instead of evidence of a huge, huge blow to the foundation of marriage.
Roger9er 2 years ago (edited)
I'm responsible for the laundry in our family, because though I have a job as well, my wife works the hardest and honey...even your most delicate blouse is safe with me. Though I understand this piece of text is about way more than just laundry.
Rens 2 years ago
Not being able to rely upon, or trust my husband to do the things I asked him to help me with, as well as his parents' interference, not respecting my boundaries and never communicating with me were all nails in the coffin for our marriage. 10+ years later, he's even worse because he's turned into both of his parents.
Karen Lyon 2 years ago (edited)
This wife might learn something from my late parents. Both of them worked, ever since they married back in the late 50's after which they rapidly had 5 kids. Our Dad very much liked to look "put together", wherever he went. The problem was, our Mom hated to iron. Dad never made that into a "blow" to their marriage, he just ironed his own clothes for years. When I was in high school, Mom came to me, filled me in on all this, and asked if I'd iron his shirts. Which I happily did. After I moved out, my younger sister took over. We both loved it: we'd put something on the TV to watch, grab a big glass of iced tea, and go at it. Dad was thrilled to always have ironed clothes, Mom was relieved of guilt and a hated task. My sister and I treasure that as a sweet story of how partners make accomodations instead of having the expectation that the partner be exactly what they want. Just sayin'.
carol bland 1 year ago
He doesn't know what a huge blow it was... because you didn't tell him. It wasn't important enough to talk about more than once.
millac 1 year ago
I have little sympathy for this one. Her asks seem small, but are all quite huge. Laundry for a family of at least four in an apartment complex basement would involve a ton of heavy baskets getting hauled up and down multiple flights of stairs, juggling that and half her wardrobe on hangers would be a massive pain in the butt. Her (unspoken!) asks of exponentially increasing his freelance work while he was providing full time childcare are similarly ridiculous and wouldn't have done enough to allow her to quit. And him getting a full time position wouldn't have been a magic fix unless he found one making more than her so she could quit and swap roles.
#13
Spoiler alert: happy ending.
On our first date, hadn’t met in person yet, he stood me up.
I was extremely busy after we matched on bumble but he was so awesome from our chats it’s almost like he was a catfish that was designed specifically for me, that when he convinced me to meet him after work even though I only had a 1 hour window free (we had already planned a date the following week but he couldn’t wait) — I took it. It was late and it was a dive bar, I sat alone getting hit on by a local drunk named trevor while he ignored my texts. The last text I sent read, “what benefit is it to you to stand me up?” Then I went home. I was finishing up a lease getting ready to move a few days later and was still living in the house that I shared with my ex despite being broken up for several months at this point while he lived in a motorhome, so I had to walk of shame by my ex into my packed up empty house while I was already feeling low.
The next morning I woke up to my phone blowing up. Apology text after apology text starting in the middle of the night with an extremely weak excuse about falling asleep on the couch. He also asked what he could do to make it up to me. I told him I wasn’t interested anymore but I would go on our original date later that week if he did 2 things. Took a photo of himself with that days paper to prove he wasn’t a catfish, and then on our actual date he had to take a picture in front of the restaurant proving he was there before I even left my house. I literally laid in my new room (had moved by this point) dressed to the nines waiting for proof and then I got into my car and drove the 15 minutes to meet him.
Ended up being the best date of my life, and the love of my life... a few years later we now live together and are discussing getting engaged. We aren’t perfect but he’s my best friend and kind and thoughtful. I also see how sleepy he is. I would never ever advise someone to give a man that doesn’t value your time a second chance, but it blows my mind how close I was to not having him in my life.
Mechanician 2 years ago
He needs a sleep study, CPAP or other treatment for a very obvious sleep disorder. Help him navigate this process because it's absurdly hard to get these referrals. Once he is getting proper sleep with adequate oxygen to his brain all night long, it will be like he gains 30 IQ points and much better executive function. Sleep apnea is very dangerous and happens to the thin, the athletic, and even to people who think they are sleeping fine. Please look into this.
#14
Time blindness. His job is 10 minutes from home so when he tells me he’s about to leave I expect him to be here within 30 minutes. But the issue is that we have different definitions of “about to leave” - mine is in the car, pulling into traffic. His is thinking about gathering up his stuff, chatting with a coworker, cleaning up some last minute things. He thinks these things take no extra time, meanwhile I think he’s upside down in a ditch.
I’m also pretty good at guessing how long errands will take and he’s …not. Im never late for anything, he can’t say the same. There’s a 0% chance that he’s trying to sneak off and do other things, he just doesn’t understand time in the same way I do.
Our system is that I’m in charge of departure times and I don’t wait for him to get home to do something. If we’ve agreed that he’d be home for dinner at 7 but he’s not here until 8, he knows that I’ve already eaten. It’s not perfect but keeps me from becoming a monster or resentment building up.
Tyke 2 years ago
My husband is similar so I've become more explicit in my language and he's slowly starting to do the same. So instead of when I'm in the office saying "I'm about to leave", I say "I'm packing up and getting on my bike, will be out the door by 5pm", or "I'm walking out the door to come home"
Ro Reddick 1 year ago
We kind of made our own thing. Remember Brexit? If he's says he's leaving, he's going out the door. If he says he's Brexiting, it means he's planning to leave soon but at no certain time. :D
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Kimberly Jones 2 years ago
Time blindness is a symptom of adhd and autism. He may actually not be aware of how long things take or how long he’s been somewhere. There are many adults with these conditions who have gone their whole life undiagnosed.
Paddling Panda 2 years ago
I'm like the husband here. When I schedule something with friends or services like the dentist, doctor, or vehicle maintenance, I deliberately enter it into my calendar about half an hour before the actual start time. This is the only way I can be on time for things. I also set multiple reminders so that my brain starts thinking of, and planning for, the upcoming event well in advance of it.
Karen Lyon 2 years ago (edited)
There are two types of people when it comes to time: clock oriented, and task oriented. My parents were each one of those; our Dad spent a lot of time waiting for Mom to be ready to go somewhere. The five of us kids (now very much grown) are also one or the other. My youngest brother is very much task oriented, my SIL just accepts that.Like the OP, she is absolutely in charge of departure times.They are empty nesters now, so their schedules are less rigid, but when their boys were young, he'd call to tell her when he was on his way home so she could plan when to serve dinner.Often, he'd tell her he was leaving in a few minutes, and her response was she'd see him in an hour (his commute was 30 minutes.)Initially, it bothered him, but eventually he realized that she knew him well enough to know that the "one more thing" he had to do usually became two or three more, if not five more things. Like OP says here, it wasn't perfect, but it did mean that dinner time/home life was peaceful.
Be_ Heard 1 year ago
Holy c**p... my ex is exactly like this. He will never show up to things on time. It was annoying but I always figured that when it came tike for something very important he would really step up for that, u know? ...... Que my mother's funeral.... yeah I broke up with him for that.
Terasa Hendry 1 year ago
I have the same problem and my man complains about it too. My time blindness is due to my massive case of ADHD. I can't get anywhere on time and that includes to work, much to the frustration of my patient boss. I don't know where time goes, it seems to me like I'm in a hurry all the time. Just go easy on him, maybe he can't help it.
Ann Hadlow 2 years ago
Mine is like this too. It's gotten to the point where if he says he'll be home at 1 pm, I won't expect him until 2.
#15
Said that my nan dying was nothing like when her dog died, she was politely asked to leave our house for a few hours.
Roger9er 2 years ago (edited)
Grief cannot be compared - no matter who or what you mourn for. It's not measurable.
Sophia L. 1 year ago
Dude, humans are way more important than animals. Ffs.
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Lisbeth Guz 2 years ago
It doesn't matter if she's right or wrong, it's not a nice thing to say to someone who is grieving.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
for some it might be the dog that meant more than a grandmother, to others vice-versa. but it isn't a competition to see who is the most sad, people grieve their own way and instead of saying "i know what you mean, my blah blah blah" or "i know, just try to forget about it" that doesn't help. just say "i am here if you need anything".
L H 2 years ago
This is perfectly reasonable - lots of people have closer bonds with their pets.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
That is absolutely not reasonable. but even if it were you don't say c**p like that to someone who is grieving.
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Louise Brown 1 year ago
I'll be honest, I've had three grandparents and a cousin die in my lifetime, along with various other people I've known, and my dog dying last year had more of an effect on me than any human dying ever has. I would never say to someone my grief over my dog was worse than their grief over a person, but I 100% know where this lady was coming from. But yeah, bit of a d**k to say that to someone...
Kimberly Jones 2 years ago
To be fair, if she has never lost a person close to her, losing that dog was probably the most traumatic loss in her life. It wasn’t the most sensitive thing to say in the moment, but she may have truly been trying to be sympathetic.
#16
An emotional affair. He claims to have not realized he was even doing it (and maybe that’s true) but when you’re deleting messages because you’re worried your wife will see, you should know it’s not appropriate.
Now it’s years later and as far as I know, he keeps all his girl friends out in the open and I get a long with almost all of them or at the very least trust him with them. I’m glad it worked out because we have had some really great times after forgiving him.
Honcho Chorcoran (who/cares) 2 years ago
My husband had an emotional affair with the long time (9 years) gf of my best friend of 35 years. She told him she was attracted to him, he said that he was attracted to her. She kept pushing for a physical relationship but he refused. They would still get up at 5am to text one another in secrecy. Every morning I would wake up to an empty bed. Eventually my friend found her texts and got extremely upset. He told my husband that if he didn't come clean to me, my friend would. So a week before our 23rd anniversary and anniversary vacation, he laid this on me. It was horrible and we almost divorced. In the end I lost my friend of three decades as well, all because of two stupid people who I loved and blindly trusted. Thanks for listening.
This panda says ur worth it 1 year ago
I'm so sorry you had to go through that and you absolutely did not deserve it
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Kare Deter 2 years ago
I have conversations with people who are not my spouse about things I don't feel comfortable talking to my spouse about - I call them FRIENDS.
John Jancar 1 year ago
This may be a shocker to you, but your bf/gf CAN FEEL SOMETHING for someone else besides you lol I mean I know you folks not ready for that, but it is what it is lol As long as it don't get in the way of YOUR relationship, again, it is what it is. There ARE certain bounds u can't cross tho.
RACM 2 years ago
It's a 100% not an emotional affair. The lies we tell ourselves are insane. He told her what he taught she could cope with and would forgive. Felt relieved by the part truth he told and glad the consequences were limited. A tale as old as time.
AnkleByter 2 years ago
I'm not really sure why you're getting downvoted, except that maybe some people don't understand what you're saying. 99% of "emotional affairs" go far beyond just being emotional affairs (I assume this is what you're really trying to say). But people reason with themselves when they say "it's just an emotional affair" because it's easier on us than coming to the realization that it is most likely much more than just that. That is the lie we tell ourselves, when we convince ourselves (or our partners) it's just an emotional affair. Getting that particular "burden" off one's shoulders often leaves way more room for fake reconciliation than the actual truth, which is that it's not just emotional. Hard truth, perhaps, but it IS the truth. Very, very few "emotional affairs" remain in the emotional realm, it just sounds better to call it than than to call a spade a spade. It's easier, for some, to forgive an "emotional affair" than it is a physical one. That's just the reality of it.
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#17
My husband is a functioning alcoholic. I knew this from when we met over 10 years ago. He is not a raging drunk nor abusive in any way. My cousin once told me to decide before marriage if it’s something you are ok with because it will come up again and again. I have made my peace with it and don’t hold it against him. He doesn’t hit me, he doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t drink and drive. It worries me for his long term health, but I can only lead a horse to water.
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
Functional alcoholism is the worst. I have someone in my life, they don't even realize it's a problem and get super defensive about it. Meanwhile, I'm watching their mental fitness deteriorate and there is nothing I can do. It hurts so much having to accept that it's coming to a point where I will either have to sacrifice myself to care for them or leave them behind so I can start living.
Tamra 2 years ago
Loving an active alcoholic is incredibly difficult. I'm very sorry for both of you. I will say this: regardless of your love for this person, you only have this one life - just one. You deserve to have a life free from the gravity of this disease. Caring for an actively dying alcoholic is traumatic and horrific. You can still love someone and let them go, to do as they will. You can still love someone, but refuse to stick around and watch them kill themselves. I say this as an alcoholic in recovery, you deserve to have a life. My heart goes out to you both.
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GothamQueen 2 years ago
It’s so so sad that the relationship bar for men is so incredibly low that as a defense of them someone would say: “ He doesn’t hit me, he doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t drink and drive.” That’s the bare minimum of just being a decent person at all, not a praiseworthy thing
#18
We’re long-distance (have been for the entire almost-6 years we’ve been together, including the almost-3 years we’ve been married) and it’s been tough, but the green card application process is hopefully nearing its end.
#19
In our almost 3 decades together: Working opposite shifts and him confessing he is attracted to two of my closest friends, not at the same time. He even shared his fantasies with each of them.
J. Norton 2 years ago
Not sure I could forgive someone for this. To be so deliberately cruel ...
Nichole Harris 2 years ago
Having an honest conversation about attractions is normal and healthy.... Not deliberately cruel! Married doesn't mean dead and attraction is normal and natural.
Load More Replies... Jan Hyde 2 years ago
I think a couple that is comfortable enough to share who they find attractive is probably a sign of a strong relationship, but sharing your fantasies with the people your are fantasising about?! That's hoping for it to be more than a fantasy surely.
Sunny Day 2 years ago
I think he shared his fantasies with his wife, not the friend. Otherwise they wouldn't be friends any more.
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Robert Mandeville 2 years ago
I once was strongly attracted to a co-worker. I told my wife about that, and she accepted that I had that attraction. Being able to talk to my wife about that helped it to remain just an attraction without any action. Sharing fantasies, however, might be going a bit too far.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
It IS going too far. There's always the possibility of acting on that fantasy. Unfortunately, some do.
Load More Replies... LH25 2 years ago
Is she saying he shared his fantasies about them with her, or with her friends. The first one would be better, he can't help who he is attracted to. The second one, nope. Esp. since it's a pattern.
PeachPossum 2 years ago
She says it in the last statement. He shared his fantasies with her friends.
Load More Replies... PeachPossum 2 years ago
It's one thing to share your fantasies about your spouse's friends with your spouse, quite another to share those fantasies with those friends, even with your wife's knowledge. Dude was fishing for an extramarital relationship with those friends or maybe a threesome. Because this is forgiveness, I surmise that he did not seek OP's consent to share those fantasies with the friends. Would be interesting to know if the friends took him up on it.
Papa 2 years ago
Unless this was done in a cruel way, like saying "Your friend is more attractive than you are," I don't see what the big issue is, but I'm sure someone will downvote this reply and explain it to me.
Averysleepypanda 2 years ago
It's inappropriate for him to share that. Not everything needs to be said
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Heather Larson 1 year ago
I would never forgive this. I hate men for stuff like this. They can't handle it themselves. Therefore they know how damaging it is
#20
About 6 years into dating, my now husband, was not there to support me when my aunt was dying of cancer. We were close and she and my dad were inseparable they were those kind of siblings that they were each other's best friends. It was really hard on my entire family.
Granted I did not say I wanted him with me and I've always been a very blunt person so he took that as me not needing him, but it hurt.
His friend was getting married and the timing was right around the time the bachelor party and the wedding were happening in two weekends back to back and it coincided with when my aunt was declining badly. So while he drove to go camping with his friend for his bachelor party I was driving another 3 hours to another city to see my aunt for the last time.
I was not mature about the way I approached it with him but I was pretty emotionally drained at that point. When we both got back he knew I was not feeling loving towards him at that moment.
After her funeral and everything died down we just had a really honest conversation with each other and talked about boundaries and responsibilities toward each other moving forward whether there were situations where we asked each other to be there or whether it's something that should be understood.
We've both grown a lot since then and of course we're older. It was one of the only major fights we've ever had and we've been together for over 14 years now. I think it made us stronger but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt.
Janelle Collard 2 years ago
If you don't tell someone what you need, it makes it hard for them to give it to you.
Joe Reaves 2 years ago
While that is true it seems like he didn't ask either. If your partner is going through something and you're about to go away on a trip, wouldn't you ask them if they're OK with it? They both made assumptions. It's good they've worked on their communication issues since.
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Papa 2 years ago
She said "Granted I did not say I wanted him with me and I've always been a very blunt person so he took that as me not needing him . . ." That says it all right there. I suspect that if she had just asked, he would have been right there.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Yes, but when you're already stressed and have too much to think about, sometimes you just don't think about asking.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 2 years ago
Why do so many people expect the rest of us to guess what they are feeling and what they need? We are not mentalists. If you want something, say it clearly. This "if s/he really loved me she'd realise..." is a piece of s**t.
#21
Turned me down when I asked him out. Met him starting out hanging out as platonic friends, eventually had feelings so I asked him out. He was a commitment-phobe who loved being single so he basically was like "I love being friends but I'm not interested." Things were pretty cool for a bit but eventually we were back to being best friends until about a year and a half later and he was like "I'm happiest when I'm with you, when we're not together I can't wait to be with you and share all the cool things I've seen and heard whole you weren't here. Maybe I've already f****d this up but can we still try and see how this would work as a couple?" Now we're going on 3 years married.
Carla Phillips 2 years ago
I had a story similar to this. Met a guy, friends with benefits situation but I caught feelings. He was well aware, never took advantage of my emotions, but made it clear that was not where we were headed. He was one of my best friends so I took having him in my life however I could. Few months later, I met my now husband. We had been dating a few months when a letter came in the mail. He fully confessed his feeling and how what he needed was right in front of him the whole time, Yada Yada Yada. It was very painful to have to tell him I was in a relationship as I truly did love him but it wouldn't have been fair to my current boyfriend/ future husband. I am still really good friends with the original guy and we both play what might have been when we get up in our feelings too much. I'm glad to count him as a friend though, just a different kind of love now.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
He realized that she wasn't the person he could live with; she was the one he couldn't live without. That is love in a nutshell.
Pollymere 8 months ago
My best friend went for a job in Manchester and I was really worried when they didn't get back. Too worried for a normal friendship according to the friends I was with at the time. I realised I was completely in love with him so I sat down to tell him. Except he didn't feel the same way. Well for a week anyway. Toughest week of my life. We've been married for over twenty-five years now and got engaged then married in the space of 18 months.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
So what did you overlook? He was open and honest and was able to grow.
#22
He snores and needs the TV going. I wear earplugs and he now puts earbuds in and listens to YouTube on his phone. I'd rather this than sleep without him.
Jason C 2 years ago
He probably has sleep apnea. It can be fatal if untreated. Get him to a doctor.
Talia Gamble 1 year ago
THIS!! My husband was like that and he did a sleep study, and BOOM. Sleep Apnea.
Load More Replies... BJ Hage 1 year ago
Snoring is AWEFUL!!! I have grown to hate the sound to the core of my being. Their solution is separate bed rooms...bananas...breath-rite strips...two pillows.... Ya know what's not on thd list?? SEEING A F'ING DOCTOR TO GET IT SORTED SO I CAN GET A FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP FOR ONCE IN 30 YEARS. Yeah, pretty salty about this one.
#23
His ADHD. Can’t do s**t about it, besides keep him insured and medicated. And breathe….in, now out…..
Witty-Pianist-2063:
I've learned that so many of the things that irked my about my husband of 10 years stem from his recebtly diagnosed ADHD. Now it makes so much sense and that he wasn't being dismissive or flippant. His intentions are important to me, so knowing Why things occurred the way they did, comforts me. I am still learning about him after so many years and feel even more connected than before. Communication has been key. He explains himself to me now, so I'm not making up my own assumptions on the Whys
MarvinsMom 2 years ago
I have OCD and my husband has ADHD (basically polar opposite on how we view tasks/getting things done) and couples therapy was SO helpful. It took me long time to realize he wasn't being lazy, he literally gets paralyzed. So we now have ways to work around each other's mental health stuff and it has probably saved our relationship :)
This panda says ur worth it 1 year ago
I get paralyzed. Not literally, but it is just like it feels like the task is so big I don't even know where to start and it often ends with me trying to ignore it or simply falling down on the floor crying
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cdubaya 2 years ago (edited)
ADHD is hard even when you DO know about it. I knew my wife of 14 years had ADHD when we first started dating. I also knew she had a chronic kidney disease (polycystic kidneys) but I was accepting and vow to support her no matter what. She had a stroke 12/1/22 and I stepped up for that. But ADHD causes some issues I still can't seem to get past. I try to accept and talk to her and my therapist about it, but it's hard. She states she will try harder but nothing really changes. I would never leave her (we're both in our 50's) as she is the love of my life but it does get super frustrating at times. I'll state some examples: cleaning ? she often makes more of mess cleaning than it was before. Like leaving the cleaning products out after using them and I put them away. Running the vaccum? It will be plugged into the wall and not put away for days if I didn't do it. Grocery shopping? She refuses to look in the freezer or cupboards for stuff and we have multiple items because of this. Putting stuff away? I go to look for a tape measure, it's not where it belongs, I'll find it in some random drawer months later after buying a replacement. Etc, etc, etc. Good luck to you!
Sera 2 years ago
As someone who also has ADHD, I find it really helps me if my tasks are clearly broken down into individual action items. To you, "do the vacuuming" includes the process of retrieving the vacuum, using the vacuum in the appropriate places, unplugging the vacuum, perhaps emptying it, and then returning it to its designated storage area. For her, her brain is likely marking the "do the vacuuming" task as Completed as soon as she turns the vacuum off, because the action of using the vacuum to clean the carpets is done, and that's all the instructions her brain had for the task. When I clean, I write myself really granular chore lists that ensure I don't let myself make a mess behind me and also give me the dopamine rush of being able to physically mark off a lot of tasks at a relatively quick pace. Having a physical list to refer back to and add onto as needed also helps keep me from getting paralyzed or too distracted thinking about other things I need to do later.
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Kaseylulu 2 years ago
Same situation with my husband who got diagnosed after our young daughter did. Everything made so much more sense after getting that missing piece and my frustration and resentment towards him subsided when I understood his behavior and that it is his brain that is different. It also helps having a child with adhd because he can see how frustrating certain behaviors can be and I can see what he must have gone through during his childhood and just in general have more empathy and understanding of what he goes through.
Lisa Whipp Myhre 1 year ago
Hearing stories such as these gives me hope that my ADHD son will find someone someday. He sometimes has the emotional range of a turnip, but he's very intelligent and funny and sometimes expresses his love for me so much, it makes me cry (like right now... dammit).
#24
My husband forgot to buy a Christmas gift for me this past year. He went to Walmart maybe an hour before the store closed on the 24th and I have some Tums and eyeglasses wipes in my stocking on Christmas morning. Not having anything under the tree on Christmas morning isn’t a huge deal to me. It’s more about the thought that goes into a gift for me, and this had very little thought behind it.
We’ve moved past that and he ended up getting me something that’s super meaningful. And I really hope he remembers that thought counts more than anything. It would have never been an issue if he originally ordered what he ended up getting as a gift and just said it wouldn’t be here until January.
Tempest 2 years ago
An ex of mine completely and purposefully ignored my last birthday which was supposed to be a special one to me. We were both studying abroad and that birthday was the only one I had in that country before leaving it (all of the previous ones were over holidays back home). I was so excited to have a memorable birthday in a foreign country. It was also the only one he and I were in the same place for and so the only time he was supposed to surprise/treat me. I’ve celebrated several of his birthdays, getting involved in his surprise party planning and putting extra thought into getting him special gifts. Even during our long-distance period of the relationship I still managed to at least send him something small while he never sent me as much as a card. That birthday he didn’t get me a gift or plan anything (after telling me over the years that he'll give me a great birthday abroad). He did get me a gift months later but that was cause I made him feel guilty so it’s not a genuine gift.
nia not long 2 years ago
Oh my goodness there shouldn't have even been a months later to give you a gift. That would've been the last straw for me
Load More Replies... Chevygirl 1893 2 years ago
If he went to Wal Mart on the 24 there is no excuse for getting tums and ye glasses wipes. he was literally in a store that sells everything. Sounds like he thinks you are a ****
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
My husband doesn't do stockings, but he always gets me a nice gift. My daughter, son in law, and I take care of all the stocking stufers for the four of us.
Anadia Jene 1 year ago
My father didn’t care about getting his kids or my mom a gift ever. Actually. He bought my mom a bottle of wine for Christmas once, which he ended up drinking the whole thing later that day. That was it. He never once got me or anyone in the family anything for Christmas or my birthday.
#25
No sex at all after marriage. Apart from that, they are an amazing spouse and wonderful human being. At all means just that.
GettingCereal 2 years ago
I hope it's only been like four months. It seems weird for it to just shut down like that.
Colleen Stratton 2 years ago
I was married for 16 years and used to say the same thing. Everything is perfect except our sex life. I was so wrong. You have NO idea what you are missing in a relationship without that trust and connection.
Carole Strawn 2 years ago
That isn't acceptable at all and not normal. You both need to see a marriage therapist.
Stardrop 1 year ago
sounds like their needs may be getting met...elsewhere. or their ace ofc.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
That's one of the things you have to accept when you marry when you're both 97.
Katrina Nixon 2 years ago
Their partner...It didn't mean multiple partners.
Load More Replies... #26
He ran up $2k money on a credit card I didn’t have the log in info for and I didn’t know had a balance on it (I am the financial person and schedule all the bill payments and I’ve been trying very hard to manage our finances to get us out of credit card debt). I understand how and why, he is extremely depressed and he was buying video games which are pretty much the only thing that help him feel better for some amount of time, but I felt extremely betrayed. He thought I was mad about the money, which sure but wasn’t the main issue, I felt like he lied to me even if it was by omission. I was furious and heartbroken. We got a therapy session ASAP and it took awhile for me to forgive him but we worked through it. It absolutely helped that he was extremely remorseful and was willing to do anything I asked him to do that would make me feel better.
That’s the worst and pretty much only thing he’s done, which is why I was willing to work through it. Had it been the worst of a string of things I would have left and sought a divorce.
cerinamroth 2 years ago
Oh sweetie, I understand this. Financial betrayal is still betrayal. My husband ran up a load of debt and quit his job without telling me, two weeks before I gave birth to our son! It was probably the closest we have come to our marriage falling apart. I didn't even want him in the delivery room with me and the stress absolutely wrecked the bonding process with my little boy. He's just turned 2 and I've only just started to feel close to him. I think I will always hold my husband a bit responsible for that, although I try not to for my son's sake.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Sure. Your failure to do whatever it takes to be a nurturing mother is your husband's fault. Yep, this is Bored Panda.
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Hakitosama 1 year ago
2K ON VIDEO GAMES????? 'xcuse me but how ?...... physically HOW?? I'm a geek, a total nerd with multiple consoles and a gaming computer but their additional value with the games can't be higher than 1k....1500 at worst and it was gathered through YEARS ! Just....just HOW?
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Addiction to gaming can be just as destructive as addiction to alcohol or d***s. Sometimes worse.
Load More Replies... Chevygirl 1893 2 years ago
If h has one card like this he has more. Get your finances separated quick.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
And get your name OFF of the credit card accounts; if he decides to split and file for divorce and bankruptcy, you could be left holding the bag.
Load More Replies... #27
The biggest thing we’ve ever compromised on is where to live. Since everything else in our relationship was healthy and strong, I decided to try living in a new city. Turns out we didn’t stay there more than a few years and moved to a better city we both love better.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
The spousal unit and I moved to New Orleans so he could pursue his music career. After seven years he decided he didn't like it there (the city has a lot of problems) and so we moved back to California. It cost a lot of money and I had to sell all my stuff twice in a decade. It is what it is, I guess.
Bagika 1 year ago
"Would you do me the honour of allocating me as your spousal unit?" Sounds like a proposal from the Orville and I'll be using it when I propose to my partner next month. Thank you McSandybutt for the greatest proposal tension reliever.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
We lived in Seattle & he applied for a job in San Diego (where my Dad lived & I took him on vacation). Claims it was just a fluke that he was offered this position. No, bullsh*t - his job is pretty specialized & they didn't recruit him - he applied. Turned out for the best, though. We lived with my Dad and stepmother for the first year we were there and one month after we found our own place, my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I got to spend the last 18 months of his life with him, so I couldn't fault my husband at all. Still a little pissed he lied to me though.
#28
His STUFF lol. There is so much clutter in our house because he will never get rid of anything. It drives me nuts. I don’t get too attached to “things” and am very happy to throw stuff away that I don’t need, but he will come up with a reason to keep absolutely anything. He gets this from his mom, who never threw anything out. And when his parents moved to a smaller house, they downsized by sending us all his childhood c**p. I’m talkin baby shoes, old beat up toys…don’t get me wrong, I’m as sentimental as the next person but it’s just ridiculous. I used to get on his case to get rid of stuff but I’ve just learned to live with it. Thankfully most of it is in his office that I rarely go into, but that’s also where the washer/dryer are so I have to step over and push things out of the way whenever I do laundry. Most of the time I just make him do it!
Kare Deter 2 years ago
How is it that minimalists marry hoarders? My hubby never throws things out, to the point that he makes a production out of throwing out a box to an item we haven't owned in years... "see? I'm throwing this out" - "here's your gold f'ing star dude". I'm constantly shoveling sh*t against the tide in my house just for my own sanity.
María Hermida 2 years ago
My parents. My father is super tidy (bordering obsession) and my mom is the embodiment of chaos. My mother keeps every piece if s**t she bumps into, and my father tries to get rid of the rubbish and everything *he* considers useless... until my mother wants it. The arguments are fearful. I just can't stand it.
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HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
Maybe get the stuff organized, but don’t force someone to throw away anything that belongs to them. For some people, sentimental value is the best value. You might think it’s ‘ridiculous’ and it ‘drives you nuts’ and it absolutely does, you’re correct to feel that way, but don’t leave the stuff cluttering up anything OR force him to throw away stuff. This paragraph sounds very impatient, though I’ll probably be more impatient if it were me.
Kylie 2 years ago
Try living with an online seller who says I'm not a hoarder, I'm happy when the stuff sells lol
Load More Replies... Ann Hadlow 2 years ago
Holy c**p! This is exactly me and my hubby. He won't throw anything away. It's gotten to where I told him, "if you don't use it in 6 months, I'm throwing it away." He agreed to that.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Communication and compromise. Imagine that, it works.
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Kat 2 years ago
I have the same problem going on too. My fiance won't throw out anything and is constantly bringing things home because "they could be useful" or he says he'll fix them one day! That day will never come and part of my yard and my laundry room look like a junk pile. It drives me nuts. I wouldn't care if he did actually fix the things up and use them for something but that's not likely to ever happen.
#29
He opened the Amazon box with his Christmas present after we had just talked about how I hated him accidentally opening my mail, and specifically told him that his Christmas present would arrive and not to open it.
That was our first fight and he still doesn't understand why I feel so strongly about it, but he doesn't open my mail anymore.
Edit: he hadn't lived with anyone in a long time and wasn't in the habit of reading labels. It wasn't malicious or nosy, just forgetful.
InfamousBerry34 2 years ago
The only problem would be if the op was working from home though
Load More Replies... #30
Still not proposed after 12 years even though he's fully aware of my desire to be married. I've since accepted it. He has issues with marriage due to multiple family members divorcing when he was young.
Me 2 years ago
I don't understand why it is still considered normal for many people to wait for the other partner to propose if they want to marry
Katrina Nixon 2 years ago
I think in some situations they know the answer would be no..
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Chevygirl 1893 2 years ago
Could he be any more obvious? 12 years and no *ring* is a very strong indication he is not going to marry you at all
DustBunny 1 year ago
Just be realistic about the legal differences between being married and not being married. My uncle’s girlfriend was left with nothing at 80 years old because she stuck with his selfish a** for 25 years and he didn’t lift a finger to make sure she had anything when he died. He was a jerk, but she went along with it.
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
If you want to marry and you're together that long, why are you waiting for him to make the first move? Unless you know he doesn't want to marry.
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
and you havent proposed to him because??? the marriage talk should be done at the start of a relationship, just like deciding on having children
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
marriage is a scam anyway, do yourself a favour and just live together.
In relationships, communication is key, and this extends beyond just you and your partner.
Including pets in family plans can prevent misunderstandings, as seen when a couple forgot to inform their cat about the arrival of a new baby. It's a gentle reminder that awareness and involvement can sometimes ease transitions and prevent any unnecessary surprises or feelings of neglect.
#31
I don’t really expect anyone to read my story, so here’s the tl;dr: forgive and forget will kill your relationship if you don’t do the work between the two.
It’s not just forgiving and moving past. We’re a partnership. That means we make our decisions together. We take the problem down to the core and work our way out with a solution. Yes, we sometimes compromise and sometimes have to forgive each other for emotional actions. But we *never* just move past it and ignore it.
For example, my husband’s family is very codependent. It has driven me wild over the years but it’s a process we’re going through together. When we first got married everything had to be ran through his parents and no matter what my opinion was he always let them have the final say. You can imagine the feelings this caused and the fights as a result of those feelings. Finally I had had enough one day. I explained that I didn’t marry his parents and I could not live this way. We made the decision to leave my home and move to his to get away from my controlling parent. It’s not fair to expect me to now be under a new parents thumb.
It was a hard fight, but we got through it. We’re still working on boundaries with his parents but things are better. He’s even gained the strength and confidence to stand up to them about me multiple times. He makes our marriage, ***our family, *** the priority and let’s them simply share an opinion when we deem it necessary.
We’ve forgiven each other for the nasty things we said in our fights and moved on with a plan together. We talk it through - no matter how many cooling off breaks or repetitive explanations there are. Our marriage is worth the fighting when we’re fighting for the common goal: our health and happiness.
#32
I had been having pain all day, and finally broke down and wanted to go to the hospital. I asked him in tears to drive me there and he said, “can we go after breaking bad?” I screamed in pain and we left immediately. In his defense, it was the series finale. And we were 22.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
"In his defense" no. just no. you need to go to the hospital, doesn't matter what is on TV you go. I said higher up, and i'll say it again, its better to have wasted time going to the hospital than waste someones life.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
In fairness, she had waited all day. It wasn't that unreasonable to ask if she could wait another hour.
Load More Replies... Sophia Grey 1 year ago
jeez, breaking bad ended when there was such thing as streaming and torrents. that's inexcusable.
#33
When we moved in together at the 1.5 year mark, I told him that I saw moving in together as a definitive step towards marriage and let him know that I wasn't comfortable living together long term without being engaged. For me, that was about a year. I asked him what he thought about it all and he agreed, so I thought we were on the same page. I loved him and from the beginning I knew it was for real. I didn't see how we would run into any issues.
And yet 1 year went by, then 2, then 3. No proposal and every time I brought up marriage he would stonewall me. Completely shut down and stare into space, couldn't say a word. He would sit there on the couch, comatose, for hours. Literally. We couldn't talk about it *at all*.
It was so frustrating and upsetting. Why would he lead me on like this if he wasn't serious about marriage? Was I not good enough? Why can't he just talk to me like a normal person? Was I just a place holder until someone better came along? How long was I supposed to put up with this? Truthfully, I spiraled into a pretty deep depression for a while. It was some of the worst times of my life.
Anyways, after far too long he finally agreed to go to therapy. Ends up that he has pretty bad anxiety and trauma from his parents' nasty divorce decades ago. That all explained why he completely shut down when the topic came up. Some therapy and trying medication really turned things around for him. It was like night and day. We got engaged about a year after that and married this year.
It's been great! Truly.
But, yea, it took every last ounce of patience I had to stay in this relationship during those times. I'm still not happy with how things played out, it's not something I look back on with fond memories. Truthfully, I also had a lot of childhood trauma that I worked through on my own as a young adult because I knew it was a problem that I needed to address. My now husband thought he could bury it forever. Nope. Doesn't work like that.
If I had to do it all over again, I would refuse to move in together without being engaged first. I think it would have been better if he worked through his childhood trauma mostly on his own.
Kiss Army 1 year ago
"We got engaged about a year after that and married this year." (Last sentence of the fourth paragraph.)
Load More Replies... #34
This isn’t an issue I’ve necessarily had to “forgive”, but I’ve had to accept that my partner and I agree on major things but disagree on a lot of minor things. We can see situations very differently and I appreciate his view on issues I have rather than the fact he’s a “yes man” in the relationship, but OMG sometimes it would just be nice to not have to explain my view to him. We both have a bad habit of assuming the other person knows exactly how we feel which has made our communication way better, but can be frustrating.
#35
For a long time, I thought he didn't come to see me in the hospital when my mom thought I was having a stroke (it was my first panic attack, really bad). I found out later that my stepfather told him that he couldnt come. All of this was in an attempt to get me to break up with him. We have been married for almost 5 years now and I love him more every day.
#36
His drinking. We had major problems with it earlier in our marriage, and it's still a thing and will always be a thing to some extent. I accepted that when we first married. But he has worked so hard on it, made strong improvements, and we are much stronger for facing this battle together.
#37
My POs father in law living with us. We generally get along and agree on most things, resolving any issues pretty simply. However, about 5 years ago my father in law had to find a place to stay asap in the middle of winter as the place he was renting burned down. It was supposed to be temporary until he got his feet under him again but then his health took a sudden turn and now he's with us until he croaks. If we kick him out then he'll be homeless, his pension isn't enough to cover what he would need for rent/living expenses. While I wholly dislike the man he's still her dad and our kid's grandad. Kiddo loves her grandad to pieces too and I don't want to take that away. As it is, me and him end up butting heads every few weeks or so and have come to a tense peace over the years. Do I resent him and the situation? Yes. But ultimately the alternative is worse than putting up with him for the remainder of his life which is likely going to be less than 3 years.
#38
A year before we actually got engaged, he hinted he was gearing up to propose. Wanted to look at venues, price things out, etc. After about a month of this, he broke down and said he wasn't ready. I was devastated and so embarrassed having to go back to vendors saying there was a change in plans. It nearly ended us.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
why are you looking at those things before he proposed, that seems a little odd.
#39
Call of Duty.
Marissa Voleta 2 years ago
Yes, girl. Disgusting. Source of many fights. And now I look at it as my time to do whatever I want, unbothered and free from my "call of duties", heh.
#40
My bf is very emotionally distant but I deal with it. The one thing that got me and I will never forget is I have a friend. This friend has four kids by three different men but we are still pretty tight since highschool. I went to hangout with said friend and knew my boyfriend has a thing for her. I get back and he asks me how it went, friendly conversation. He tells me that she can come over anytime he doesn't care, she's welcome over here but for me to be careful because she might end up pregnant again. Who in the ever loving f**k says that to their significant other? I guess I've forgiven him but it still hurts when I think about it. Idk if he still is in love with her or whatever he says he's not but idk. I feel so undesired by him sometimes and it just sucks. I just wanna be spoiled with love and told I'm pretty and appreciated sometimes, ya feel?
PeePeePooPoo 2 years ago
You need a new BF. He is a douchebag and a trashy person. Ditch him, fast.
nia not long 2 years ago
Why are you even still with this person? He's treating you as a place filler.... Seriously move on to someone better♥️
#41
He was at work and I had the day off so I told him I was going to quickly meet him after work, I had a plan to buy him his favourite subway and then drop it off to him when he’s off. He said okay and that I can meet him when he’s off. So I went to subway, got him his favourite, and was so excited to surprise him with it. I went all the way to his work and made it just in time for when he was off. He knew I would be there. I waited around. He never came out. So I texted and asked where he was. He had already left! Said he got off a few mins early and left. I was so upset because he knew I was going to meet him. And so I went back home, ate both the sandwiches myself, and cried lol. Was no big deal though, I forgave him for it, he had an important thing to do with his mom that I hadn’t known about in the moment. But at least we both learned to communicate better with eachother before making plans
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Hmm...Something's fishy and I'm not saying a tuna sub. I'm forgetful too, but an "important thing with mom" could have been communicated before he left 🤔
#42
He send a girl a picture of his cat, but didn't send it to me.
#43
Hmm I don't think I had to forgive him for it but we have had issues with his time management that have led to arguments in the past. Eventually I had to understand that it wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with me but that he has too many hobbies and doesn't know the word no. We've talked about it extensively and he is doing better now with priorities but man oh man do I have to constantly remind him to take the trash out.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
for anyone that will say "why don't you do it" .. there are certain things in the house that I believe should be the males job (if thats the type of house you live in) and one of those is taking the trash out. i will never let my wife do it, and she will remind me to do it too if i don't realise what day it is
#44
My own internal dialogue . I can’t tell u how many times I’ve split and wanted to leave bcuz my internal issues. He triggered a lot because he wasn’t aware bcuz I wasn’t aware how badly they morphed my interpretations of things. Things have gotten a lot better as I’ve done work and as he done work as I’ve been communicating my needs and wants more accurately and timely.
#45
The only issue I had was that I didn't want to live in the city we met in. I was getting ready to move to a different area in the same state once my schooling was finished. But I stayed because I love him and he has to stay due to having children with his ex. We worked it out from the moment we became serious though. Once retirement happens, we will be moving to the area I want to live in. Sixteen years and counting. Lol
#46
MIL thinks she's queen bee over women in the family! I used to constantly check her and put her back in her mom lane and never tolerated her ish like my SILs, and it was a source of conflict in my household. One day after she insulted my SIL with bigoted racist shade, I stared at her and said to her, "ya know you're on borrowed time in your dear old elderly age, and eventually you will die" so why am I letting you be a point of stress and contention in my household or ketting your antics live rent free in ny mind! Ya see, I will be the one planning and arranging your funeral cause ya precious baby boy can't find his own azz without needing my input and assitance, so understand he will p**n off fulfilling ya burial needs to me and i gave her a wicked azz smile, grabbed my SIL and walked away! SIL jaw was on the floor, and she told the other women what I said, and they got a kick outta it! But I was so serious, I've got tons of ideas for her burial outfit, hair etc.... I'm going to make sure all the family's ethnicities and nationalities are represented in her final resting place! From that day forward, hubz/BILs say they've all noticed a positive change in their moms mouth and behavior towards the family women. She tried to tell her sons what I said to her, but all the women said it wasn't true and only told how she insulted the newest SIL 🤣 so the boyz didn't believe her 😈 Mother dearest is quite cautious ATM!
#47
Undiagnosed ADHD that we have only recently figured out that he has after our daughter and niece and nephew on his side were all diagnosed. I’ve put up with a lot over 30 years together. I ‘forgave’ the associated behaviour years ago but now that he understands himself better it is infinitely easier.
#48
He had a friend that emailed him regularly. Most of her emails were her talking c**p about me. She had only met me twice, so I couldn’t figure out why she hated me so much. It pissed me off that he wouldn’t shut her down whenever she said things about me that weren’t true. He was afraid to say anything because he has hard time with confrontation and doesn’t have a lot of friends. Eventually she stopped responding to his emails. After years of no contact she emails him out of the blue and again goes no contact. I had asked him before if anything had happened between them in the past he always no. After this last email he tells me they were never involved, but after we had been together a year she tearfully confessed that she was in love with him. When she didn’t get the response she wanted that was when the c**p talking started and he just pretended she never said she was in love with him. I am still friends with past lovers that my boyfriend knows about and has spent time socializing with. None of my exes or my friends have ever talked c**p about him. If they did I would shut it down immediately. I’m still mad that he lied about her feelings for him for years. But now it makes sense why she hated me so much. I’m pretty sure her last email was just to check if we were still together.
#49
He played Banana Phone right after s*x. It ruined my post-orgasm feelings real fast.
Daya Meyer 2 years ago
It is a silly song. If you are curious, look it up on YouTube or something like that. But be warned because it will stuck in your brain a long time, singing it quietly along.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 2 years ago (edited)
Heheh. I gave my wife dabs 🤛 after our second time doing the deed when we were dating as a funny moment joke. Ohhhh yes, the first and last time...
#50
Told him tea about my two of my friends but I did it in a way to vent b/c I got caught in the middle. The next day one of the friends got upset at me and wouldn’t talk to me only to find out my boyfriend casually spilled what I told him to his friend who is my friends boyfriend thru xbox. Because he did this, it ruined my friendship and me and her and not close anymore. All because he took our private vent session and made it into a casual conversation.
François Bouzigues 2 years ago
A secret has the very value of the person you tell said secret.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
"Three people can keep a secret, if two of them are de@d..."
#51
Christmas 2016, we had a party with friends where someone came up with the idea of guys selecting songs to dance with their significant others. All the guys picked slow romantic songs which had deep meaning and danced slowly. My SO picked a s****y pop song about a girl who had 28 inch waist and 47 kg weight...I was so embarrassed and mad at him and didn't speak with him for days. I still remember the day and am still fuming.
cerinamroth 2 years ago
Tbf, that sounds like a nightmare situation! I would do anything to get out of that too. My husband and I danced a jolly old salsa as our wedding dance because we're just not the share-your-feelings-with-everyone types. Perhaps your love languages are just different?
Avani Gupta 2 years ago
Nah, it's a song by a Singer who makes really sexist and objectifying music in Hindi and Punjabi
Load More Replies... MushroomHead22 2 years ago (edited)
honestly the slow dance thing at a friends party seems a little weird and anxiety inducing for some. the comical song was probably what made him feel comfortable, and if you can't laugh at him for that, you need to find someone else.
#52
We had plans for a date, I waited for him to come home so we could go out. He was very late, so I called and guess what. He took his PARENTS on our date instead of me and to that same place we were supposed to go to. I was so pissed. Apparently there is nothing wrong with that according to him.
Robin Roper 2 years ago
Nothing wrong with that if he wants to have sex with and marry his parents.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
I'm guessing he was going to let you sit there all night until he came back home, and you'd think all was peachy?
#53
My husband hated his job. There were a combination of factors that made the situation he was in particularly bad. He could have taken steps to improve his situation in a different organization or get additional qualifications that would have led to better spots. He whined about work constantly. Yet surprise, surprise, when you try nothing, nothing works. I had to learn to stop suggesting the very obvious fixes and tune out his incessant whining. I have little patience for people who won't do anything to try to improve something that really bothers them.
#54
Criticism.
#55
He watched legend of Korra before we'd even finished the first season of the last airbender although I literally begged him not to. I have forgiven him but this will not be forgotten.
Heather Murphy 2 years ago
That's not the point. They begged, he didn't seem to care.
Load More Replies... #56
He slowly decided to not come with my to anything. Pre corona I had a wedding to go to back in the Netherlands - my uncle was getting married it was big. We had planned everything from transport to hotel room which by the way he didn't have to pay for. My dad did. Well, day before departure I'm writing to him wanting to know when he'll come down to my hometown from our apartment. He says he isn't coming. I know he has issues with public transport (a few diagnoses in there) so I drive all the way back home and to my hometown to get him. He comes, but the morning of departure suddenly he just says he won't go. We were sleeping at my mums and driving with my dad. It was the most embarrassing thing, begging my mum to lend me her car, telling my dad he wasn't coming, sitting alone with the sign with his name on it in the church. Everybody asking where he was why didn't he come. I forgave it at the time, and all the other times, but I will never let anyone treat me thus again.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
When my bf was to meet up with my family for xmas, he kept delaying. They kept asking where he was and i kept texting, phoning.. He was helping an acquaintance with his computer. In the end he didn't make it. I was embarrassed and my family disapproved of it ofcourse. We are 15 years married now and my family loves him a lot but boy he had to make up for it
Bec 2 years ago
I have this with my S.O. as well, he's missed a ton of my family events and an important graduation of mine. Part of it is his anxiety and embarrassment and not wanting to face my friends and family since he doesn't have much going for him, but it is humiliating for me to have to say he's not with me. I've had to make peace with it and I don't count on him to do things, for my graduation, we needed to leave at a set time and he was so anxious he couldn't get off the toilet for more than a few minutes so I just left him. He was apologetic but I had been experiencing it so I wasn't disappointed. It would be a 4 hour drive for us, it was more than that for my family who did come.
#57
We both had health issues we didnt approach on the same page, partially because it felt like it was financially better to die (no expensive health treatments plus robust life insurance) and leave the surviving spouse and kids better positioned. All in all, just being too self-sacrificing, which is a much easier problem to work through than being self-centered.
#58
Went to a party together. I drank too much. I passed out in bed. He took my finger & used it to log into my phone while I was asleep (back when apple had this iphone security feature). He proceeded to look through my entire phone & text a guy all night while pretending to be me. He was convinced this guy & I had something going on which was not true. At the time, it was borderline hilarious to me (the idea that he was pretending to be me & conversing with another guy all night who I legit didn’t even know). I asked him what they talked about & he told me it was actually a nice conversation. I forgave him & continued to date him. Looking back, I cringe so hard.
Yelena Susac 2 years ago
How long you are together? And this delusional ealousy reaction happened only once? This will happen again. Especially if partying hard on top of jealousy/ distrusting issues and you have male friends . This always happens again and intervals between jealous moments and "forgive me, Im stupid.. Don't know what's wrong with me.." are getting shorter and shorter, And serious sruff may occur. Please watch for these patterns.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 1 year ago
I wouldn't be okay with that. if you don't trust someone, don't stay with them, don't just snoop in their phones instead of drawing a line under it
#59
I’ve been on my first car accident here in the US (moved here just less than a year) and I was really shaken up since the car went flying and fell on a hill. Luckily, no serious injuries just whiplash and a neck bruise. I called him first and he was nice a bout it - asking me if I was okay and all. However, he didn’t see in a week nor ask me how I was doing. I didn’t have any emotional support during that time until I drove up to him and he acted as if the accident didn’t happen at all.
#60
He got way too drunk by sneaking drinks at an Air BnB from the person's massive liquor cabinet. He peed on me when I tried to carry him to the bathroom. Then after an ambulance ride to the hospital because he hit his head after falling down in the shower, I had to walk to the car which was miles away at 3:00AM, in an unknown city, in my pajamas with no money, and drive us all the way home. Carried him up the stairs and put him on the couch. He doesn't remember any of it. I forgave him. Twice actually. Because he did it again about a year later on our first camping trip together. Pee and all.
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What do you think ?
Brobro McDuderson 2 years ago
Tomorrow we’re gonna see the other post called “60 men Share What They’ve Forgiven Or Looked Past To Have Happiness In Their Marriages” (interview with experts)… Right?
R Dennis 2 years ago
Lol... you know how BP works... that's not until after three more articles on "why Americans suck", two more "men are bad"s, and one or two "why it sucks to have kids".
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carol bland 1 year ago
I've forgiven him for not doing what I didn't tell him was very important to me..
Lisbeth Guz 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are valid, and have reasonable solutions (in my humble opinion) but some people here must have really low self-esteem to accept their partner's shenanigans
Brobro McDuderson 2 years ago
Tomorrow we’re gonna see the other post called “60 men Share What They’ve Forgiven Or Looked Past To Have Happiness In Their Marriages” (interview with experts)… Right?
R Dennis 2 years ago
Lol... you know how BP works... that's not until after three more articles on "why Americans suck", two more "men are bad"s, and one or two "why it sucks to have kids".
Load More Replies... carol bland 1 year ago
I've forgiven him for not doing what I didn't tell him was very important to me..
Lisbeth Guz 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are valid, and have reasonable solutions (in my humble opinion) but some people here must have really low self-esteem to accept their partner's shenanigans
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