The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you spend your entire life trying to reach that other side, will you suddenly be happy once you get there? Or will you be filled with disappointment?
Redditors have recently been discussing things that people often think they want until they actually get them. This could be a huge house, their dream job, children, the opportunity to move abroad or anything else that many people fantasize about. But the reality is that we're all different, and these things simply might not actually be for you. Enjoy scrolling through this list of items and opportunities you might assume you want too, and be sure to upvote the ones that you wish more people would be honest about.
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As a tween, it was my period. The novelty of "becoming a woman" immediately evaporated.
Kids
I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids.
I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids. .
A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.
But then if you BOUGHT that really big house (as opposed to inheriting, it) you likely have the money to pay people to do what you don't want to do.
A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.
That's why I got a high paying job with less mental health impact and more work life balance
Leaving their significant other for someone else only for that person not to be all that good.
Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that.
3 months into it he realised he was bored as f**k. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.
Assuming he's fit and well, trying some new hobbies might help? Or come out of retirement and go back to work?
Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.
I think it's not so much the exitement, but the fact that: - you are in total control of your fantasy (however submissive you imagine yourself) and the other person will always act just right - IRL knees hurt, things itch and in general don't feel as sexy as in fantasy
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Sex in general for me. High sex drive but the act does nothing for me I'm frustrated beyond belief.
This is why people should explore. With some things, you'll never know until you try.
Try everything twice, you might have done it wrong the first time.
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Can blame this mostly on porn, which gives a VERY skewed image of what kink actually is. Also, it's not lived, it's fantasy, which of course is something completely in the control of the person's mind. I'm a hard core kinkster and deal with newbies (cis men) that always have unrealistic expectations of kink.
One girlfriend wanted me to spank her. It was just a one time thing. I tried to comply but was super not into it. And another time (years apart) a different woman wanted me to talk dirty to her. Which for her was basically trash talking her. I just couldn't. I'm really not into 'romance' where I'm being abusive to my partner.
On the other hand, just go for it. There's only one way to find out if you're actually into it. It's the stigma connected especially with kinks and sexual fetishes and the fear of consequences of being found out and as a result NOT trying those things that is making a lot of people unhappy or downright miserable. "Don't kinkshame" should become a general rule. You want to try something, you do it, you don't like it? Well, don't do it again then. Or change what you didn't particularly enjoy about it and maybe try again. Or don't. But supressing those curiousities isn't that great either long term.
It’s a psychologically recognized part of our desires/sexuality that we can desire something as a fantasy that we would never be able to replicate to the same effect in reality. It’s the benefit of essentially playing all roles when it’s all in your own head!
Idk, I've always been spot on with trying the kinks I fantasized about.
When those awful movies were in the cinemas ... everybody was oh-so kinky, and into something they saw there, and they needed to discuss that everywhere. So edgy.
I was on the fence with that. I totally agree the movies were abysmal. BUT it made lifestyle choices less taboo. BUT so many people started showing up to parties and getting mad at the reality. BUT some people really found their niche. Conundrum.
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If you tried it once and didn't like it, then you never actually had that fetish or kink.
Their dreams fulfilled.
I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?"
Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Living in Hawaii. The number of people that I know that dream of living here have no idea. I've lived here for 2 years and can't wait to leave.
An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed.
I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation.
Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be.
Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.
It's a f*****g disaster and you end up hankering after that person even when you put them out your life, and it f***s up your marriage forever. Do not recommend at all.
Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless b******t is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....
I love being a manager. I model myself after my manager who is one of the most trustworthy, kind and fair people in my life. She always has my back, listens when I have a gripe (even if its about her) and seeks to create and maintain harmony with her staff. In turn, I treat my staff likewise. Best job ever! I’ve been a manager there for 26 years, and my manager for 29.
Being a business owner. Everyone thinks you just make your own hours and work whenever you want. Id trade it all to clock out at 5pm.
My sister and husband had a small business. Struggled for years and years on the breadline. Would have sunk many times without family helping out. Called it a dayl and got a call centre job working from home. Never been happier. Husband is a house husband and loving it.
Fame.
A golden cage I never wanted to get locked in. Glad I'm both too ugly and too untalented to ever get famous!
An open relationship.
this is a disaster. Do not do it. Source: me and a friend of mine who also tried it. Jealousy is real, and you are human, and you are not above jealousy.
Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses.
When I was a kid I really wanted a cast or crutches. Yeah, really not a good idea.
I think the cast thing stems from seeing other classmates get tons of friends signing the cast. It's like visible confirmation that all those people like you. Maybe a little envy at the sympathy and extra special treatment they get too.
Living off grid. Boats. Livestock other than goats or chickens.
I don't mind living of the grid but I need the internet lol also chickens aren't so bad, just don't like let them loose, got to contain them and they're not bad.
A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.
To elect a non-politician to political office.
nah you must elect someone who is competent in the relevant area, e.g. an academic to the education ministry, an engineer to the public works ministry, etc.
A “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it.
Who wants a crazy gf? Never heard this one. It's usually the opposite.
Hookups. On the 100th hookup, I assure you, your balls won't be the only thing empty. You'll realize that what you're really after is the warm embrace of someone to share intimacy with.
Hmm yes and no. Personally as someone who is totally ok with their own company I don't think this is true for everyone.
A private jet. unless you fly extremely frequently the cost of maintenance outweighs any pros.
Only billionaire I ever met just chartered jets whenever he needed one. Which was maybe once or twice a month.
The chance to meet a hero.
This is another yes and no one. It (a) depends on who your hero is, and (b) depends whether you strike them on a good day. There are some people who are apparently wholesome and amazing pretty much no matter what. So getting a chance to meet someone like that? Absolutely!
A nympho partner.
I read an interview with a genuine nymphomaniac and she was indeed having ridiculous amounts of sex. She was also completely miserable and her life was a disaster. Just because you're having sex that doesn't necessarily mean you're *enjoying* it. Plus it must be SO goddamn exhausting. And painful.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
