The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you spend your entire life trying to reach that other side, will you suddenly be happy once you get there? Or will you be filled with disappointment?
Redditors have recently been discussing things that people often think they want until they actually get them. This could be a huge house, their dream job, children, the opportunity to move abroad or anything else that many people fantasize about. But the reality is that we're all different, and these things simply might not actually be for you. Enjoy scrolling through this list of items and opportunities you might assume you want too, and be sure to upvote the ones that you wish more people would be honest about.
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As a tween, it was my period. The novelty of "becoming a woman" immediately evaporated.
Kids
I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids.
I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids. .
A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.
But then if you BOUGHT that really big house (as opposed to inheriting, it) you likely have the money to pay people to do what you don't want to do.
A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.
That's why I got a high paying job with less mental health impact and more work life balance
Leaving their significant other for someone else only for that person not to be all that good.
Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that.
3 months into it he realised he was bored as f**k. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.
Assuming he's fit and well, trying some new hobbies might help? Or come out of retirement and go back to work?
Small remote island makes it more difficult to do hobbies. Everything costs more to ship and it's harder to get to places, everything takes longer travel wise. Some things just aren't possible at all eg: gardening may be impossible depending on the type of island and it's location. And if he wants to get back to the regular world, he's either got to sell the island (potentially at a loss) or spend a bunch of time/money on travel.
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Another mistake retirees make is not realizing how far away from a hospital their dream home is, or how long it takes an ambulance to get there.
Yep. We moved from our wildly expensive city when we retired and our primary criteria was that it be walking distance from groceries and healthcare.
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A practically zombie proof island ???!!! Where I can grow veggies, can them, go nature walks with me my wheelchair and a dog. I'd never be bored. And providing that no one else lives on your island...you can fo commando and save laundry! What's not to love ! A preoperative dream ! Lol
Zombie-proof? Haven't you watched Land of The Dead? The zombies can't swim, but they can walk underwater until they reach land.
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wouldnt have be the same if he retired somewhere else? If you dont have an hobby is boring wherever you are
If you're near things you can go out and do stuff. Browse bookstores, visit museums, people watch on a patio while having a beer, go for brunch, join a club of some sort, take classes - sky's the limit. If it's just you, a tv, and a lack of interest in model trains or whittling stuck on an island, well, you're screwed.
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Why would you move somewhere like that unless you had lots and lots of indoor and outdoor hobbies and loved your own company?
3 months must be a retirment milestone. My stepdad went back to work after 3 months. He was glad to not have to go to work but every time he left the house he spent money. And he had no one to hang out with.
That is probably because he didn't plan for his retirement. I read about a study years ago that stated that the reason so many people are out of their minds of boredom when they have been retired for a while is that they didn't actually plan/think about what they wanted to do when their work no longer took so much of their time. But plan for volunteering somewhere, really focus on new/old hobbies, join some sports activities and so on, and you should be fine. Buying a house on a small island is fine if you also do something on that island. Start fishing, start up a weekly pub quiz at the local pub or cafe.... just anything. Because a house on an island in itself is not a plan of what to do with your life. It's just a change of address, pretty much.
In California, where I'm from, there's something to do on every corner. Boutiques, shops, bars, amusement parks, theaters, restaurants, etc. From necessity I had to retire to Alabama, where there's something to do on every corner too... but it's church.
i'm not religious but I would attend the church, good way to meet the locals
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It's not good for older people to isolate themselves, especially if they have family & friends.
He should take up gardening, maybe make himself a magical topiary garden where he can spend hours reading, drinking coffee & enjoying the sun...that would be my "dream"
I would say moving to an island. Not everyone that retires, moves to an island.
Instead of just sitting around he could get into exercising, going for walks, going fishing or swimming. Just get up and move around and he will feel better.
Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.
Their dreams fulfilled.
I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?"
Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Living in Hawaii. The number of people that I know that dream of living here have no idea. I've lived here for 2 years and can't wait to leave.
An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed.
I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation.
Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be.
Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.
It's a f*****g disaster and you end up hankering after that person even when you put them out your life, and it f***s up your marriage forever. Do not recommend at all.
Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless b******t is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....
I love being a manager. I model myself after my manager who is one of the most trustworthy, kind and fair people in my life. She always has my back, listens when I have a gripe (even if its about her) and seeks to create and maintain harmony with her staff. In turn, I treat my staff likewise. Best job ever! I’ve been a manager there for 26 years, and my manager for 29.
Being a business owner. Everyone thinks you just make your own hours and work whenever you want. Id trade it all to clock out at 5pm.
My sister and husband had a small business. Struggled for years and years on the breadline. Would have sunk many times without family helping out. Called it a dayl and got a call centre job working from home. Never been happier. Husband is a house husband and loving it.
Fame.
A golden cage I never wanted to get locked in. Glad I'm both too ugly and too untalented to ever get famous!
An open relationship.
this is a disaster. Do not do it. Source: me and a friend of mine who also tried it. Jealousy is real, and you are human, and you are not above jealousy.
Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses.
When I was a kid I really wanted a cast or crutches. Yeah, really not a good idea.
I think the cast thing stems from seeing other classmates get tons of friends signing the cast. It's like visible confirmation that all those people like you. Maybe a little envy at the sympathy and extra special treatment they get too.
Living off grid. Boats. Livestock other than goats or chickens.
I don't mind living of the grid but I need the internet lol also chickens aren't so bad, just don't like let them loose, got to contain them and they're not bad.
A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.
To elect a non-politician to political office.
nah you must elect someone who is competent in the relevant area, e.g. an academic to the education ministry, an engineer to the public works ministry, etc.
A “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it.
Who wants a crazy gf? Never heard this one. It's usually the opposite.
Hookups. On the 100th hookup, I assure you, your balls won't be the only thing empty. You'll realize that what you're really after is the warm embrace of someone to share intimacy with.
Hmm yes and no. Personally as someone who is totally ok with their own company I don't think this is true for everyone.
A private jet. unless you fly extremely frequently the cost of maintenance outweighs any pros.
Only billionaire I ever met just chartered jets whenever he needed one. Which was maybe once or twice a month.
The chance to meet a hero.
This is another yes and no one. It (a) depends on who your hero is, and (b) depends whether you strike them on a good day. There are some people who are apparently wholesome and amazing pretty much no matter what. So getting a chance to meet someone like that? Absolutely!
A nympho partner.
I read an interview with a genuine nymphomaniac and she was indeed having ridiculous amounts of sex. She was also completely miserable and her life was a disaster. Just because you're having sex that doesn't necessarily mean you're *enjoying* it. Plus it must be SO goddamn exhausting. And painful.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
