The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you spend your entire life trying to reach that other side, will you suddenly be happy once you get there? Or will you be filled with disappointment?
Redditors have recently been discussing things that people often think they want until they actually get them. This could be a huge house, their dream job, children, the opportunity to move abroad or anything else that many people fantasize about. But the reality is that we're all different, and these things simply might not actually be for you. Enjoy scrolling through this list of items and opportunities you might assume you want too, and be sure to upvote the ones that you wish more people would be honest about.
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As a tween, it was my period. The novelty of "becoming a woman" immediately evaporated.
Kids
I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids.
I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids. .
A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.
But then if you BOUGHT that really big house (as opposed to inheriting, it) you likely have the money to pay people to do what you don't want to do.
A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.
That's why I got a high paying job with less mental health impact and more work life balance
Leaving their significant other for someone else only for that person not to be all that good.
Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that.
3 months into it he realised he was bored as f**k. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.
Assuming he's fit and well, trying some new hobbies might help? Or come out of retirement and go back to work?
Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.
Their dreams fulfilled.
I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?"
Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Living in Hawaii. The number of people that I know that dream of living here have no idea. I've lived here for 2 years and can't wait to leave.
An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed.
I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation.
Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be.
Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.
It's a f*****g disaster and you end up hankering after that person even when you put them out your life, and it f***s up your marriage forever. Do not recommend at all.
Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless b******t is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....
I love being a manager. I model myself after my manager who is one of the most trustworthy, kind and fair people in my life. She always has my back, listens when I have a gripe (even if its about her) and seeks to create and maintain harmony with her staff. In turn, I treat my staff likewise. Best job ever! I’ve been a manager there for 26 years, and my manager for 29.
Being a business owner. Everyone thinks you just make your own hours and work whenever you want. Id trade it all to clock out at 5pm.
My sister and husband had a small business. Struggled for years and years on the breadline. Would have sunk many times without family helping out. Called it a dayl and got a call centre job working from home. Never been happier. Husband is a house husband and loving it.
Fame.
A golden cage I never wanted to get locked in. Glad I'm both too ugly and too untalented to ever get famous!
An open relationship.
this is a disaster. Do not do it. Source: me and a friend of mine who also tried it. Jealousy is real, and you are human, and you are not above jealousy.
I had a 10-year open marriage and TBH jealousy was never an issue for either of us. What was important was to share sll the details of what was going on with other parties of whatever gender. We fell apart for other reasons (her life goals and stuff) not related to the open relationship.
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It doesn't work for everyone but ethical non-monogamy is possible provides it's just that - Ethical. You can't have secrets and you can't lie or it doesn't work. "The Ethical S**t" is a fantastic book if you're considering this. It has a whole chapter on jealousy and another on communication.
Really depends on the reaoationship. It is NOT a fix for one that is broken. It requires one that is strong to begin with, and two people who fundamentally do not value monogamy. Who have the same opinion that its not something they are interested or care about
My wife and I define cheating as "anything you feel like you have to hide" otherwise everything is ok. We're both well aware that monogamy isn't strictly possible for years and years, sometimes you gotta go out and get a little strange. As long as she doesn't bring home anything she can't get rid of it's a lot of "happy spouse, happy house" lol
My question is who are these people planning on screwing? A stranger is asking for an STI. A mutual friend or a friend you had before you met your partner is just begging for jealousy. Also sorry, maybe it's just me, but I would never sleep with somebody I know is married, let alone if I was a *friend* Gross.
My wife's girlfriend moved in with us for a while. Roommate and friend/family for me, and girlfriend for my wife. They had "date nights" and wife and I had "date nights". I suppose, though, that due to my past in particular, I don't have any jealousy at all because I'm more or less disinterested in physical intimacy, that doesn't mean wife's disinterested as well so we find a way to meet each other's needs
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Nope, nope, nope. My husband is enough for me and I'm not sharing him.
A boyfriend many years ago suggested we should have an open relationship. I concurred and tried it out for myself. Turns out the other guy did want a relationship with me and not an open one. I felt terrible for failing to consider his possible feelings before I went into it.
Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses.
When I was a kid I really wanted a cast or crutches. Yeah, really not a good idea.
I think the cast thing stems from seeing other classmates get tons of friends signing the cast. It's like visible confirmation that all those people like you. Maybe a little envy at the sympathy and extra special treatment they get too.
Living off grid. Boats. Livestock other than goats or chickens.
I don't mind living of the grid but I need the internet lol also chickens aren't so bad, just don't like let them loose, got to contain them and they're not bad.
A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.
To elect a non-politician to political office.
nah you must elect someone who is competent in the relevant area, e.g. an academic to the education ministry, an engineer to the public works ministry, etc.
A “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it.
Who wants a crazy gf? Never heard this one. It's usually the opposite.
Hookups. On the 100th hookup, I assure you, your balls won't be the only thing empty. You'll realize that what you're really after is the warm embrace of someone to share intimacy with.
Hmm yes and no. Personally as someone who is totally ok with their own company I don't think this is true for everyone.
A private jet. unless you fly extremely frequently the cost of maintenance outweighs any pros.
Only billionaire I ever met just chartered jets whenever he needed one. Which was maybe once or twice a month.
The chance to meet a hero.
This is another yes and no one. It (a) depends on who your hero is, and (b) depends whether you strike them on a good day. There are some people who are apparently wholesome and amazing pretty much no matter what. So getting a chance to meet someone like that? Absolutely!
A nympho partner.
I read an interview with a genuine nymphomaniac and she was indeed having ridiculous amounts of sex. She was also completely miserable and her life was a disaster. Just because you're having sex that doesn't necessarily mean you're *enjoying* it. Plus it must be SO goddamn exhausting. And painful.
I thought I really wanted my belly button pierced but it was annoying and always irritated from my pants etc so it didn’t last and left a scar.
I got one as moral support when my friend got her nose pierced. Then it got infected and I couldn't take it out for months. And here we are 15 years later. Never took it out.
Exercise equipment.
If you actually use it, it's great. Half my garage is a gym and I'm in the best shape ever. No gym memberships or awkwardly working out in front of other people.
A puppy. They're not just cute they're a pain in the a*s.
You know what, this is one that will never be bad for me. It's absolutely 100% worth the pain in the a*s value for the benefits a puppy brings.
For anybody who wants to homestead/live self sustainable: skip Cornish Cross Chickens. Short of industrial food production they’re not worth the hassle. They’re not gonna live long enough to reproduce so their not actually self sustainable, buying them is always a hassle and chances are 25%-40% are gonna be dead on delivery because they don’t do well in the mail. They’ll s**t more than you can imagine so you have to build a chicken tractor or shovel an entire coop 3-4 times a week to keep them healthy. Finally your gonna end up butchering all of them within about a week so most of them will end up in the freezer, and personally, after spending two and a half days butchering and defeathering the smelliest, nastiest, fattest chickens, I’ve ever seen I wasn’t in the mood for chicken for a hot minute.
Pets, livestock, cars, vacations, houses...: whatever time and money consuming thing you want to get, you better educate yourself beforehand. If you WANT chickens, read up on breeds and needs, just as you should/would when looking for a dog 🤷
McDonald's. It's so incredibly mid, at the same time it's getting more and more expensive.
An overly attractive SO
You need to be overly attractive yourself or have rock solid self esteem to watch them get hit on or flirted with by the whole planet everytime you leave the house.
It's not even about self esteem, it's about trust. People hit on my wife all the time, she politely brushes them off. I know she'll always do that, so it doesn't bother me. It does p**s me off when men hit on her while I'm there, but that's just because it rude & disrespectful. The self esteem part is where I take it as a compliment; That she's chosen me when so many other people obviously want her.
Job.
Hell yeah! I miss the sweet lack of responsibility of being a child!
A pool table.
If you've got the room they're great. They're not high maintenance like a swimming pool. They just take up a bunch of space. Seen some cool designs where they can double as a regular table when you're not playing too.
A real goth girlfriend.
I've always been fascinated by the 'Goth problem.' The goal of the clothes, accoutrements, and make up is to show how little you care, but we all know it took hours to dress like you don't care.
In my opinion, true online privacy. After installing Linux, using proton mail, creating over 20 fake emails and such, and a bunch of other stuff it kinda sucks. Like I will never go back, but I spend like $140 bucks a year on services to make sure I can not be tracked online, and the user experience is worse than just using windows and having a jolly good day. I personally can deal with it, and I am now a Linux Mint user. But most people would not want, nor be able to understand how to switch to different programs or how to use them. Add that it takes money that most people would rather spend on other stuff, and overall most people will never make the switch.
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
