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User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 33 Best Answers
Article created by: Konstancija Gasaitytė
It takes some time to get to know another person. And it’s not only about what they do and what they like, but also how they interact with you and others. Some small, insignificant comments or remarks can actually have a hidden meaning and reveal that someone you know does not necessarily have good intentions. Throughout time, by getting to know others better and by gaining experience, people start to see signs of others being manipulative or inconsiderate. Having this in mind, Reddit user u/neilnelly asked people “What is something subtle people say that is a red flag to you?”
This gave a green light for other users to share what they find annoying and alarming about other people’s behavior, from people complimenting others just to achieve personal gain to imposing their own views on others when it's unwanted. Here is the list of 55 things people say to trick you into something that should be taken into account as these are some major red flags.
What are other obvious signs you know that people use to trick or deceive others? Leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
More Info: Reddit
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#1
I used to go to the bar after work with coworkers. One of the managers didn't go, but a coworker kept encouraging him to come out and party. He relented and said he'd come out for one drink. At the bar, he took a sip and said "ah, I haven't had a beer in 5 months". No one else took notice of that, but it struck me. He was gone a week later after coming into work drunk and doing something inappropriate.
To anyone reading this: If someone doesn't want to drink, accept no for an answer. They might have a very good reason to say no, and pressing them on it, especially when well intentioned, might make it much harder for them to say no.
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#2
Don't be so sensitive (or something to that effect). Big warning sign that they A- don't care about your feelings, and B- can't take responsibility for their behaviour
#5
Anything that exposes poor morals. For example, "I'll just say I never got it so they send me another one."
When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote.
#9
If they wronged you and say something like, "I'm such a terrible person, you should leave me." It's them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They're not going to change if you stay.
#16
When they disagree with someone, they default to attacking the person's character instead of their actions. We all do this from time to time, but with some people it's every time. The guy who messed up their order is "an idiot". Their boss is "an evil sociopath". The person on Facebook who expressed a political view that opposes theirs is "a degenerate". That new intern at work is "hopeless". In the end, the final result is that anyone they disagree with for any reason is either an inherently bad person who doesn't really merit listening to.
#18
When they are the victim in all of their stories.
I had a colleague who didn't really have any friends outside of work. All of her stories were about how each of her friends had stabbed her in the back at one time or another. She went travelling to Australia with 6 girls and left early because they didn't want to do the things she wanted. It was glaringly obvious that she was the issue but still tried to play the sweet victim.
There is another girl from my high school who has gained quite a few followers on social media through sharing her stories of being bullied in school for being bald. No one can remember that ever happening, she was quite popular but had lost touch with her group as you do when you move away for college. Also, she was never bald.
Red flags when people enjoy pity.
#19
Maybe this is nitpicky but people who give nicknames or use a shortened version of your name without asking if you mind it. It's annoyed me my whole life and always seems to correlate with them not respecting more serious boundaries later on.
#20
But you're so good at it. Aka I'll compliment you in the hope that you'll take this task off my hands.
#22
If they compliment themselves often but rarely or never others, for me that's an obvious narcissistic trait.
#24
“Well then I guess I’ll never do / buy / say / ask anything / (normal okay thing that isn’t actually the problem) ever again.”
#25
“I’m not (blank) but...(insert statement that affirms they are what they’re claiming not to be)
#26
Pretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it's not prompted or necessary.
Like "I'm an honest person", "I'm a hard worker", or "I'd never hit a woman".
#28
Asking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like main stream stuff. (I guess this applies to stuff other than music but that’s what annoys me the most)
#29
Recently had someone tell me "I hate being accused of lying." I'm sure we can all guess what he keeps getting caught doing...
#30
When I started my new job the bubbliest girl who was loved by most of the staff and was also a HR manager would act like this when me and her were totally alone.
She would whisper ever so softly (to herself but to me) "you get no thanks around here, no one cares. You just wait and watch the knives stabbing when you least expect it". This is something she did on my first DAY!! I said to her everyone seems lovely and accepting and she said "well wait until you get to know them".
This was a HR MANAGER!!
Edit I've just realised this isn't very subtle
Also Edit! Seems like alot of people see this girls actions as good. I don't, this was my first day and I really believe if people start talking about others they're setting the tone for YOU to perceive the person they are gossiping about, it made me nervous, your first day is bad enough. I was there for 7 months and not one person showed any signs of being a backstabber. Not one! Nothing even remotely shady.
#32
Never asking a question. My husband realized his father never does this and now I can’t stop listening for this.
#33
You'll know I like you when I make fun of every single thing you do maliciously. Like wth
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