21 Things People Do At Restaurants That Really Annoy Servers

Many people think of this as "that spoiled brat", but it usually are the adults to condemn and the children to pity.

I was at a restaurant in Munich with maybe 10 friends and friends of friends. One of the friends of friends drank a little too much of the strong Munich beer before dinner and started snapping her fingers at the server. We were mortified and apologized to him. He was gracious and laughed at off. A few minutes later, he asked her what she wanted to eat. When she didn't look up, he snapped his fingers at her. She got mad. We all thought it was hilarious.

Also, don't assume that a server smiling at you and being nice to you means they like you. Being. Nice. Is. Their. Job.

The reverse is also true: waiters please don't touch your clients! (Much, much more rare, I know, but it happened to me once. It was just my lower arm, so no sexual intentions, but still not appreciated.)

In the Netherlands you can order all you like, but when the kitchen is closed, the kitchen is closed.

I've seen servers just walking away if the customer was phoning and ordering at the same time. I'd always tip these servers extra.

Does this happen frequently in most countries? Because in the two countries I live in, customers usually wait at the restaurant's entrance until a server attend to them. Except for fast food restaurants, but usually all the tables are not dirty because customers normally clean after themselves.

A good restaurant will have waiters who are able to explain the menu, and they will be able to advise in case a customers has certain allergies or disliked. Simply ordering something that is not on the menu is rude, **asking** for something that is not on the menu is just fine in my opinion. Asking for example whether a certain ingredient you do not find in any other dish is available should just be fine – an example would be particularly hot peppers in a place that does not regularly have so spicy dishes. If asked politely, you will just get a polite answer, sometimes even met with gratitude for real interest in what the place can offer.

People actually do this?

Yup, this. I worked in a restaurant for a bit, some years back, and people grabbing things off the tray can really unbalance a heavy tray. If the server removes things from the tray themselves, they can adjust their own balance, but not when people just randomly take things while you're trying to set it down, etc. Especially with lots of drinks. I once had someone plunge their hand into a load of drinks on a tray to get to their one, and they nearly knocked over all the others.

Taking others seats while they're in the bathroom?? What.the.fu*k?!?!?!???!?!?!?

That sounds less like a “don’t be on your phone” issue and more of a “treat your servers with basic human dignity” issue. Pulling out your phone should not be a problem to the server as long as you know how to be kind to others and not be a jerk to your server.

Sometimes I ask for ingredients to be taken out, gherkins in burgers for example. If they can't do it because the food has been prepped already, I'll just order something else.

Don't ever order a well done steak for any reason...

Check with the restaurant first perhaps with what they can and cannot do. Leaving out an ingredient isn't always that much of a problem. Let's face it though, if it has a menu where you can't find anything you like or can eat then pick somewhere else.

How should you address them then?

Waited plenty of tables in The Netherlands. No feelings were ever hurt when I was called waiter. Or actually the Dutch "ober". There's no feminine version of the word, and I am a woman. I must ad this was in a nice restaurant, not a super super fancy one. And there's rarely an occasion when the use of any word is necessary to draw the attention of the waiter/waitress. A simple raised hand/nod or any gesture (except the finger 😉) usually will do.

I've been told to NOT call them by their name as that's "condescending" and now I can't address them "waiter" for the same reason. I usually use "sir" or "ma'am" and have been rebuked for that as well. So, how in the f**k do I address them?

Sometimes just saying miss or sir isn't enough though, especially when it's busy. I've tried to get someone's attention like that in vain only to be ignored 4-5 times. In that case I will resort to waiter because that way everyone knows who I am trying to talk to.

If we don’t know your name how should we call you? Hey lady? You there? Hey fellow human?

Okay I guess it might sound a bit rude. What then is acceptable? "Excuse me", "ahem", hand waving? In the UK I think we always start with "Sorry..." but that's pretty much for everything, not just restaurants.

I don't see it as really disrespectful and i don't mind when people call me by my profession, as long as they are polite. They just can't remember something else. I call people 'sir' or 'madam' when i need something, even if they have a name tag. It's considered kind of disrespectfull to call people you are not close to by their name.

what i say is i go up to them and say "miss/sir" or i try to politely get their attention when i need something, or if they are busy i just wait

if you dont want to be called a waiter, don't be a waiter

I've been learning a little bit of french and german lately and in the "At the Restaurant" lesson we are taught the word for waiter/waitress so I assume that is what they expect you to call them. Should we pass this disrespectful idea on to other professions so we shouldn't say nurse in a hospiital or officer to the police. I agree people shouldn't snap their finger or whistle , that's just rude but surely calling someone by their job title in a respectful way is OK.

Their position is a Service Provider, Waitress or Waiter, People regularly refer to them as Waiter or Waitress, not Hey-You, or Scuse Me and waving their hand. Waiter and Waitress is or has always been an acceptable term. As long as you are polite because any fault is not usually theirs.

Not all servers wear name tags and not all of us idiots out in the world can remember names the first time we hear them and properly associate them with the correct individual. I waited tables for 14 years and never got mad at the rando who would forget my name. I get it. I forget, too. So I just called them all Honey, Baby, Sweetie, and Doll. Especially the older men - loved calling them "Doll..." It cracked me up.

Good to know......what resteraunt do you work at?

If you do not wear a badge with your name on it or introduce yourself to me, then how do I get your attention? Of course I will never snap my fingers at you but I need to call you something to get you to look at me. If you are rude and make me wait on purpose because you have the common sense of a flea, then your tip will shrink the longer you make me wait. It's just that simple.

What are we supposed to call them? Not all waitstaff wear a name tag (even if I could remember their name), plus it seems weird to call a stranger by their first name. "Sally! We'd like the check". If the waiter/waitstaff is walking by the table and I need something, I always address them "waiter or waitress". Is there a better term to use? "Hey you!" seems worse.

Most places don't make their servers wear name tags anymore....thank God. I always tell my tables my name after I take their order. They tend to remember it better than if I told them as soon as I walked up to the table.

Rule#1: Don't f*ck with people that handle your food. It's a pretty simple concept that far too many people don't seem to understand.

Most restaurants I've been to solve this by having little drawings of peppers next to the meal description. Green for mild, orange for medium and red for spicy (and those for from 1 to 3 depending on how spicy it is).

Rubbish. If diners are having to wait more than half and hour for their food the kitchen needs more staff, or to review their practices. 40 minutes is too long, even on a busy night.

Frankly, why again not ask politely? There might be a perfect rationale behind the place you are seated, which is hiden to you as a customer, but it might have been a random choice out of many options.

If it's reserved, shouldn't there be a note on the table saying so? If not, and there's no hostess to sit us down, how are we supposed to know which table is free and which one isn't? *Just mentioning that I said if there are no hostess, I did not say, what if the hostess is unavailable. The post makes no mention wether there is one or not, makes no mention of what type of restaurant it is (fancy or not).

Only in USA...