When kids grow up, become adults, and have their own kids, they’re quite literally still the kids. Then, these big and serious children in disguise are secretly struggling in this big world full of multitasking. Deciding what’s best for their kids on a daily basis can be truly nerve-wracking, but sometimes, a little spoken word can work wonders, according to people online.
You see, when one Reddit user posed the question “What's something that every parent should tell their child?” on r/AskReddit, it seemed like a straightforward one. But as soon as the answers started flooding in, it became obvious we’re dealing with some real wisdom gems and one of those increasingly rare examples of the internet giving something truly valuable.
From telling your kids you can indeed be wrong sometimes, since it’s only human, to apologizing to them if you’re wrong, these are little things your child self would thank you for.
A good parent shouldn't be afraid to apologize to their kid when they're wrong.
The proper terminology for their genitals. Other adults aren't always going to know what your kid means when they say "someone played with my monkey or my tutu," and predators aren't going to call them by the proper names either, so it's another deterent for abuse to occur. Vagina, Penis, Vulva, Testicles- these are not dirty words people.
Whenever another kid is being mean to them, physically or verbally, don't tell your child that the other kid was being mean to them because they like your child. Your child might grow up mistaking abuse for affection.
Bored Panda reached out and spoke about parenting with the author of the thread, Reddit user SaladSlayer00, as well as with Samantha Scroggin, founder of the "Walking Outside in Slippers" blog. Read on for our insightful interviews with both of them. Hopefully, what they said will help present and future parents.
SaladSlayer00 revealed to Bored Panda that they created the thread because they were imagining how they could potentially behave as a parent now that their relationship is getting serious. "Also, I recently lost my father and it was somewhat comforting to see how almost everything meaningful users suggested had already been said to me by my family. What started as a, 'Hey, look at all the karma I'm getting!' turned into a moving and wholesome thread that I'm very proud of," they said.
If you make a mistake and need help, come to me. Kids tend to make bad situations worse by trying not to get caught. I know way too many people who got in drunk driving accidents because they were too afraid to call their parents for help and drove home or got in the car with a drunk driver.
Your low academic performance does not mean you'll be a failure in life.
No means no.
According to the redditor, having a strong bond with your children is vital. "I think that many parents confuse this with a pale imitation of friendship that by definition just can't work. There needs to be absolute trust and acceptance no matter what, but still, the right amount of objectivity and distance to evaluate situations, and make kids understand that after all, their parents have the duty to correct their actions and worry about them."
They continued: "It's not easy, but I think parents might help their children open up to them by showing a positive, reassuring attitude and enthusiasm for their passions."
''I love you regardless of your gender and sexuality'' unfortunately that wasn't what my mom said.
Its alright to make a mistake, as long as you can admit it and grow from it.
Because some children, especially teens, can find it difficult to accept advice from parents (even if that advice is brilliant), we wanted to find out the ways around this obstacle. SaladSlayer00 said that advice shouldn't be given to kids without explaining the reasons behind it.
"I think that the best way to make children understand that you see them as intelligent human beings is taking the time to help them see the whole picture without making a 'no' look like a meaningless refusal, but a well-thought-out choice that is only made with their interest in mind.
Be kind. You never know what someone might be going through and I love you.
How their bodies work — no, how they really work. Periods, sex, poop, everything.
If anyone ever tells them, “This will be our little secret,” especially if it involves physical contact, my child needs to get as far away from that person ASAP, find a trusted adult, and contact me. My child will know they will not be in trouble for telling and I will always believe them.
Meanwhile, "Walking Outside in Slippers" founder Samantha said that repetition can help kids learn. "I hope if we just keep repeating ourselves on the issues that matter most to us, and personally demonstrate those qualities we want our kids to have, they'll get the message eventually," she said. Samantha added that one of the biggest challenges is that kids need lots of validation and they're always vying for their parents' attention.
But what are the most important things about life that Samantha wants her own children to know? "There's so much to tell my children about life. And there is so much I'm still learning myself. I feel like as I grow older, I realize just how little all of us know about everything. We're all trying to figure it out as we go and find some fulfillment and happiness in the process. I think the most important lesson I've learned and would want to pass along to my children is that no one is better than anyone else. Racism, sexism, religious discrimination, and other forms of discrimination are never OK. We must stay vigilant of how we treat each other, and our attitudes and beliefs," she shared.
Sometimes, friends you trust will manipulate you. Parents should teach their children what manipulation is and how to avoid it... Cause it ain't so black and white
You don't have to respect anyone that disrespects you, even if they're your "elder"
Your mental illness is not a weakness.
It’s important to be kind, but you don’t need to be everyone’s best friend. Some ppl are just not going to like you, and that’s okay - it goes both ways
Also being a kid/teenager is f**king hard work. It gets so much better after high school, I promise
Admitting they can be wrong sometimes. Parents are humans and make mistakes. Kids need to see that.
What to do in an emergency. If the fire alarm goes off they should know that they need to get out of the house. Don't look for mum and dad. Don't hide under the bed. Get out.
They also need to know how to call emergency services. If a parent collapses, the child may be the only person around to make the call.
Always have an open mind before coming to an opinion. Question and research the facts before blindly following someone else’s lead.
That it's okay to ask for help and no one will think less of them.
“You don’t have to earn my love. Nothing you do will ever make me love you any less. I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what.” I say these three lines to my kids so often!
Express that it's ok to feel uncomfortable and not want to do something. I saw a post where a mother taught her daughter to say hello but if she didn't want a hug or a kiss on the cheek she was never forced to do so. If the kid felt comfortable she would do it. Expressing that this is ok seems pretty important IMO
Coping skills to process their emotions
Look out for the smaller kids on the playground, kindness is free so make sure to use it.
“The world is a f**ked up place. People are going to hate you for the sake of hating you, and spit on you for what you believe. What I want you to know is I’ll always support you. And I’ll never be disappointed in what you do with your life as long as you love it” ~ My dad
That it's OK to walk away from a fight. It doesn't make you less of a man, and walking away should always be the first resort.
You didn’t ask to be born so it’s my responsibility to take care of you, pay for your expenses and make food and you don’t have to thank me for it because it’s normal (Actual thing my parent told me as a child)
That it's OK to be straight, gay, bi, pan, cisgender, transgender, or gender-fluid. There is no wrong sexual or gender identity. Just be yourself.
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