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When kids grow up, become adults, and have their own kids, they’re quite literally still the kids. Then, these big and serious children in disguise are secretly struggling in this big world full of multitasking. Deciding what’s best for their kids on a daily basis can be truly nerve-wracking, but sometimes, a little spoken word can work wonders, according to people online.
You see, when one Reddit user posed the question “What's something that every parent should tell their child?” on r/AskReddit, it seemed like a straightforward one. But as soon as the answers started flooding in, it became obvious we’re dealing with some real wisdom gems and one of those increasingly rare examples of the internet giving something truly valuable.
From telling your kids you can indeed be wrong sometimes, since it’s only human, to apologizing to them if you’re wrong, these are little things your child self would thank you for.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
A good parent shouldn't be afraid to apologize to their kid when they're wrong.
Serial pacifist 5 years ago
A good person should apologize when they are wrong, regardless of who the wronged person is. Admitting imperfection is the first step to perfecting yourself.
Makayla Rhodes 5 years ago
Maybe not perfecting your self but making yourself better
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Caroline Driver 5 years ago
Good grief, it would never have crossed my dad's mind to even entertain the idea of apologising to me. I sometimes wonder if I could bring myself to tell him that he bullied a child (well, children, but I think I got it worst of the 3 of us), would he even realise that he had? You can't apologise if you don't think you've done anything wrong
RELATED:
#2
The proper terminology for their genitals. Other adults aren't always going to know what your kid means when they say "someone played with my monkey or my tutu," and predators aren't going to call them by the proper names either, so it's another deterent for abuse to occur. Vagina, Penis, Vulva, Testicles- these are not dirty words people.
BlackestDawn 5 years ago
I fully agree, and it shouldn't be limited to just genitalia. I have never understood why the proper term for so many body parts and bodily functions are considered "dirty" or "inappropriate" to say.
Stannous Flouride 5 years ago
In English many of the so-called profane words are the words of the Brits, Celts, Angles, and Saxons that were conquered by the Normans who established the basis of the class system that still exist. F**k and s**t come from two every day, Germanic words but were judged by the aristocracy to be vulgar and eventually declared obscene.
Load More Replies... Martha Meyer 5 years ago
This is extremely important. Many sexually abused children will say stuff like “My belly hurts“ because they don't know what the body parts that actually hurt are called.
Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
Parents don't want their kids yelling "MY VAGINA HURTS!" in the middle of Wal-Mart so they call it Hoo-ha or va-jay-jay whatever. But kids need to know the real names!
N Gregory 5 years ago
There are also pronunciation issues - I've worked with toddlers who would struggle to pronounce testicles/vagina. Giving them unusual euphemisms is counter-productive, but saying pee-pee for penis is an acceptable, understandable (and much easier to say) alternative. Don't demand your three-year-old gives the biologically correct name for things.
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Antonio Lucio Vivaldi 5 years ago
Yes, I 100% agree with this. Sexual health should not be considered taboo!
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
I love how at the beginning it says, "When kids grow up, become adults,". Like, no s**t.
#3
Whenever another kid is being mean to them, physically or verbally, don't tell your child that the other kid was being mean to them because they like your child. Your child might grow up mistaking abuse for affection.
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
I have never understood why it was a thing people taught their kids in the first place.
Douglas Campbell 5 years ago
Everytime my father was abusive to me, my mother would tell me he loved me. Guess what kind of relationships I had as an adult.
Charlotte A. 5 years ago
I hated hearing that. And the "if you just ignore them they will grow bored and stop" which I was told for 9 YEARS. They sure as hell didn't get bored. If you don't tell the bullies to stop, they think what they're doing is OK.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Sad how wrong parents often are about these things. For some reason they think parroting their parents will work instead of thinking it through. I realised aged 8 that my parents were frequently miles out and so stopped telling them about the bad things that were happening to me.
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CatWoman312 5 years ago
I was maliciously bullied by a boy in the 2nd grade everyday and came home crying. My mom said it was because he liked me. A few years late the boy apologized for being mean and admitted he actually hated me for whatever reason so my mom was wrong.
Sasy 5 years ago
We just recently had a whole ad campaign based on this in Australia, it was so well done, starting as kids and up to adulthood. The same can be said for the abuser actually believing that the abuse is not separate from love and care and they should be forgiven for it because of that fact etc
von Funnyname 5 years ago
Toxicity comes in a lot of forms -- this one not least in the mix as an adult. "Throwing rocks on a playground" like kids do when they "like" someone, i.e. crushing on them turns into a lot of hallway eff you's and "fun" name-calling in relationships later in life.
Bored Panda reached out and spoke about parenting with the author of the thread, Reddit user SaladSlayer00, as well as with Samantha Scroggin, founder of the "Walking Outside in Slippers" blog. Read on for our insightful interviews with both of them. Hopefully, what they said will help present and future parents.
SaladSlayer00 revealed to Bored Panda that they created the thread because they were imagining how they could potentially behave as a parent now that their relationship is getting serious. "Also, I recently lost my father and it was somewhat comforting to see how almost everything meaningful users suggested had already been said to me by my family. What started as a, 'Hey, look at all the karma I'm getting!' turned into a moving and wholesome thread that I'm very proud of," they said.
#4
If you make a mistake and need help, come to me. Kids tend to make bad situations worse by trying not to get caught. I know way too many people who got in drunk driving accidents because they were too afraid to call their parents for help and drove home or got in the car with a drunk driver.
nanashi 5 years ago
if I were to have children, I want that the first thing they thought when in trouble is to call/ask me for help. not hiding it from me. not like my parents who I never tell a thing because blaming me would be the first thing they would do.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Same I’m 35 and still lie on occasion bc my parents are so judgmental and are quick to express their disappointment.
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Nancy Jeckells 5 years ago
i worked with a guy who had a 19 year old daughter. One day he came to work looking really tired, so I asked what was up. He hadn't had much sleep, as he had to go and pick his daughter up from her friend's house at about 2 in the morning. I said wow, you must be so mad ! And he didn't understand. I said, because she woke you up and you had to drive to get her, and he said no, not at all ! He had always told her she could call him whenever she needed him. In this case, she was at a friend's, but then the friend's boyfriend showed up, and his daughter didn't feel comfortable or safe. She rang her dad to come and get her and he was glad she did. I have so much respect for this man!
DDmaybeandor 5 years ago
THIS! Preditors often "groom" children by getting them to keep small secrets, then larger ones. They then blackmail the kids by convincing them their parents won't love them any more if they find out. Child preditors are overwhelmingly people known to the child, not strangers. Let your child know all of these facts and that they are to never keep secrets and you'll always love and forgive them. We tell our son that there are people who like to hurt children and this is how they get the children to cooperate.
Parmeisan 5 years ago
This is a scary comment but important information to know. We should all upvote it more because as icky as it feels to upvote a comment about predators, this needs to be higher up.
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Astrid Nineor 5 years ago
Yep. Also, remind young children that when mommy or daddy is very scared they might yell, not out of anger, but fear and love
Nicole Holt 5 years ago
My kids had a rule when they were late teens/young adults and started hanging out later or at parties: I may not be thrilled if you wake me up at 2 am to ask me to pick you up at a party, but all hell will break lose, if I find out that you did not call and rather drove home drunk or with someone who has been drinking
Susan Egan 5 years ago
We did what my parents did. If you ever, no matter what time, feel uncomfortable some where or are not in condition to drive, whatever it is, Call US. We will get you. Wake us up, no matter what time or where you are call us.
Sasy 5 years ago
If not the parent then designate someone. My friends had many kids and they told them that I was the go to, no matter what, even though the parents made it very clear they would be ok, kids turn stuff into their own fears, so if they could at least reach out to someone else that cared for them, that may help matters.
Mosheh Wolf 5 years ago (edited)
We told our kid, that if they, or their friends are drunk at a party, if they call us up to take them home, we will, with no repercussions. If, however, they drive drunk or knowingly get into a car with a drunk driver, the consequences would be dire. However, I did say that I reserved the right to make fun of their hangover the next day, AND, if it was a school day, they would be attending class, hangover or no hangover. It happened a couple of times. Our kid called from a party and said that they and a couple of their friends were drunk and/or high, and needed a ride home. I came and got them, and took them all home.
#5
Your low academic performance does not mean you'll be a failure in life.
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
100% this, not everyone is smart academically, some are smart in different ways like one of my brothers is extremely smart when it comes to maintenance and fixing things yet my other brother knows stuff all about that stuff but he is book smart, we to uni etc. One is not smarter than the other, they are just different in smarts.
Zenozenobee 5 years ago
I had a "fight" with a math teacher years ago. I was history teacher in a vocational school and he told one of our student, that he was stupid and would'nt do anything in his life, that he was going live on social aids. The boy was really hurt and wanted to stop school few weeks before graduate. I was lucky enough to meet a man at a projection at the end of this week. He studied in the same school, took the same class and became diver welder oil rig, was married and father of 3. He was very happy with his life and fun fact, had a salary three times higher than mine when he was home (6 month of the year) and 6 times higher when he was on the oil rig (the 6 other months). I was really happy to share this story with this class; making sure the said math teacher would learn about it. I know the 6 students of the class had a job when they left school. I don't know if they are happy with their life, but being a (math) teacher cannot be the only way possible to be fulfilled in life.
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andate him 5 years ago
The opposite is true also, in fact, even more so. As someone who skipped a grade I'm elementary school, and had an easy time in high school, I suffered really badly in college from lack of a good work ethic
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
Thank you! I was academically proficient in English, history, art history, etc., but a total bomb in the math and sciences. I struggled with those curriculums and because of that I always felt like a failure. As an adult, I now know that was not the case and that has shaped how I "judge" my boys' academic achievements (thank God they are way smarter than I am - I only have to deal with the occasional slacking).
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
I'd rather be a joyous filthy poor person than depressed filthy rich person.
Stannous Flouride 5 years ago
Nor does a high one guarantee you'll be a "success". I was very good at taking tests, got good grades. Never could fit into the sort of occupation that rewards you monetarily. I carved out my own niche as a historian and am successful at it.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago (edited)
My mom says that's what'll happen. She says I'll be like my brother or like my father. I always feel like I'm setting myself up to fail. I don't remember her ever saying she's proud of me. I just want her to understand that I try my hardest and I'm not trying to disappoint her, but she'll probably say that I'm being extra and I'm just telling her what I think she wants to hear. But, that's the thing. She never tells me what she wants to hear. She once made me stay up so I could finish all of my work.
Tim Douglass 5 years ago
But this truth does not mean that blowing off school isn't going to make your life much harder.
Sanne H. 5 years ago
So true! In the end, it’s not your IQ that determines your success in life, but your EQ. (And by success I don’t mean the money you have or the car you drive). I recently had an elementary school reunion; I noticed that the most successful people (with families and their own company) were certainly not the ones that used to have the highest grades.
#6
No means no.
troufaki13 5 years ago
No means no goes both ways. We have to respect the no we're given as it is expected from others to respect ours.
Isabella R.W. 5 years ago
exactly what I was just thinking. I think if people start telling their kids "No means no" it'll be helpful for when they are adults, never force anyone into something they don't want to do.
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Molly Cule 5 years ago
About 7 years ago, my friend's child was about 5 years old. They were shopping and my friend said, "[Child], come over here please". [Child] said, "No". My friend said, "What do you mean, no?". [Child] responded, "No means no". Still makes me giggle to this day. It's a bugger when they throw your own phrases back at you.
K. 5 years ago (edited)
Exactly what I was trying to find the words to explain for different types of “no.” It’s tough to navigate relationships of any kind, but with children I have to balance loving, protecting, and respecting them even if they are awful and self-centered sometimes. I could walk away with adults most of the time, but kids... 😒
Load More Replies... Douglas Campbell 5 years ago
8 year old: "Can we go to Disneyland?" Me: "No." 8 year old: "Is that a yes?"
Sanne H. 5 years ago
A simple rule. Even my cat knows: she stops meowing and begging for opening the door when I say “no”. :-)
Andrew Gibb 5 years ago
I don't think kids should be made to share. Better to encourage taking turns; if the toy isn't theirs. Would an adult share their car with a stranger?
Pamela24 5 years ago
A very very important one. And applicable in many childhood related situations - like forcing a kid to hug a relative they haven't seen in a long time and is a stranger to them, is wrong - it's exactly one of the little things that teach kids that no doesn't have to be respected.
According to the redditor, having a strong bond with your children is vital. "I think that many parents confuse this with a pale imitation of friendship that by definition just can't work. There needs to be absolute trust and acceptance no matter what, but still, the right amount of objectivity and distance to evaluate situations, and make kids understand that after all, their parents have the duty to correct their actions and worry about them."
They continued: "It's not easy, but I think parents might help their children open up to them by showing a positive, reassuring attitude and enthusiasm for their passions."
#7
''I love you regardless of your gender and sexuality'' unfortunately that wasn't what my mom said.
KombatBunni 5 years ago
You deserve to be loved no matter what. Have a hug from a Mum who has a sister who’s transgender *hug*
HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 5 years ago
THIS!!! You don't even have to actually support that lifestyle. I was blessed with two top-tier parents, who happen to believe that homosexual relationships and transgender identities are "not God's plan". However, they have both said that once I turn 18 I can use whatever name I choose and whatever pronouns I want and they'll respect/use them, and if I decide to date a girl they'll meet her come to the wedding etc, anything they would do if I was dating a boy. I'm pretty lucky. (:
Susan Egan 5 years ago
It should be a part of home life, my kids grew up with me talking about my gay friends. They grew up not caring what other people are and knew that they would be accepted by both their parents no matter what.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
well, here you should know that you have thousands of new parents, siblings, and kids that will support and fight for you.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
This one would be difficult. I love you regardless, but I don’t necessarily accept your lifestyle.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Acceptance is freeing. Earlier you commented that you had judgemental parents and the harm that this caused you. Learn by their example what NOT to do. When people dislike things like this it is often because of a lack of knowledge and fear. Fear of what others think - as if that truly mattered.
Load More Replies... #8
Its alright to make a mistake, as long as you can admit it and grow from it.
Paul K. Johnson 5 years ago
Related: When I was in the Army, a toxic idea that was practically written in stone was, "Always be confident in your answer even if you don't know you're right." I've always thought, 'I don't know' is a perfectly acceptable answer if it's the truth. And in the military why would you want anyone to confidently give you wrong information ever? "Yes sir, I'm sure there's no enemy over that hill that I've never been over or seen past."
Sanne H. 5 years ago
I understand the advice, but I think it also depends on the mistake. If it is a big deal like getting pregnant at a young age, getting into jail, ending up as a drug addict, it feels wrong to me (as a non-native speaker of English) to just say it’s allright. I’d prefer “no matter what the mistake is, we love you and we will be always there for you, to help you to admit it, to deal with the consequences and to grow from it”.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
My mom never does that. She'll yell at me when I forget things and she'll say she doesn't care about my tears. She always tells me about how she only ever lied once to her mom and dad, and she skipped 2 grades. Sometimes I think the only way for her to stop yelling at me is for me to be exactly like he. She's also a HUGE Christian, so if I were to be lesbian or bisexual, she would probably disown me. TBH, I started to feel a bit bisexual a while ago.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
I would never tell her that, but I feel it. Then I think about how God would feel if I were that way. I would feel like something is deeply wrong with me.
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I’m proud of you.
Mia Hamsa 5 years ago
I have gone with "You should be very proud of yourself. I certainly am of you" to instigate self worth and validation. It teaches children that they should look to themselves for validation, not an authority figure.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
No matter how old you get it never gets old hearing that from your parents and every time they say that it tugs at your heart strings because it’s so important to hear
Fred Burrows 5 years ago
I would get yelled at for an hour if I showed the slightest bit of pride at winning anything .
eezycheezes101 5 years ago (edited)
Like she'll ever say that to me. She acts so happy in front of people when she goes places, even though ten minutes before she was screaming her head off at me for not knowing I had a presentation to do. We live with her friend, and once her friend yelled at me for putting her towel in a closet, when I don't even touch her things. I hate her sometimes. I hate both of them sometimes. When I make mistakes or do something bad, she'll threaten to send me to Boston with my father. I haven't seen him in ears and he only calls on my bday.
Donna Cheung 5 years ago
This is so important for a child to hear. My mum's no longer around, but I know for a fact that she's always been proud of me, of what I did, even though sometimes she didn't agree with me. When you're little it may feel cringey at times, but when you become an adult, you don't really hear anybody say they're proud of you anymore, so it's important to know that you're great to at least one person.
Because some children, especially teens, can find it difficult to accept advice from parents (even if that advice is brilliant), we wanted to find out the ways around this obstacle. SaladSlayer00 said that advice shouldn't be given to kids without explaining the reasons behind it.
"I think that the best way to make children understand that you see them as intelligent human beings is taking the time to help them see the whole picture without making a 'no' look like a meaningless refusal, but a well-thought-out choice that is only made with their interest in mind.
#10
Be kind. You never know what someone might be going through and I love you.
#11
How their bodies work — no, how they really work. Periods, sex, poop, everything.
Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
YES! My mom left out a lot for me to discover/learn on my own. I swore that would NOT happen to my kids. We still tell them to come to us with any question and we will answer it. First hard one? 11 year old asking if you can get pregnant the first time you have sex. Her "knowledgeable" friend told her this. SOOOOO glad we made that rule.
Tobias the Tiger 5 years ago
One of my mom's friends knew someone who found out the hard way that you could get pregnant the first time you had sex. I've also heard of someone who didn't know that you could get pregnant from having sex (yes, really).
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Jennifer Norton 5 years ago
This is crazy important!!!!! My middle daughter started her period this year and I have answered ALL her questions honestly and without jokes. I made it clear that any question she has is open for discussion. She feels safe asking me things and I feel good knowing she doesn't have wrong information that she gets from friends or the internet.
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
A functional education on biology, anatomy, physiology and the general why and how of the body is one way to prevent unwanted everything... When it's not taboo, fetishes do not develop. When there is understanding of consequences, either waiting or cautionary measures occur. When everyone knows the same things, embarrassment and teasing aren't as prominent. It's just a good idea to educate ourselves about ourselves...
emily faith 5 years ago
Agreed. My mom and dad never sugar coated it. My brother and I both knew of why we were different and the very very basics of where we came from. This definitely made me understand the world more over time.
Lynn Morello 5 years ago
We used to get that in Health and Education back in the 60's, Then the POLITICALLY CORRECT Mob broke it all down.
#12
If anyone ever tells them, “This will be our little secret,” especially if it involves physical contact, my child needs to get as far away from that person ASAP, find a trusted adult, and contact me. My child will know they will not be in trouble for telling and I will always believe them.
JacPot 5 years ago
Yes, please! Some people are beasts and the above should be common information! Also, children should be taught that predators will most likely use the child's fear against them and will threaten to kill them or their loved ones if they say anything. Children must be taught that no matter what, they should always tell someone they trust! Scream, fight and get away by any means necessary!
M O'Connell 5 years ago
Most predatory offenses against children (US statistics) are committed by someone whom the child knows; family members, close family friends, clergy, etc. Children also need to know that if someone they trust is the one hurting them, they need to be able to tell a stranger.
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I taught my children about 'good secrets' that makes you happy - like the sweet secret knowing what Dad is going to get for his birthday. And about 'bad secrets' that makes your stomach hurt. The last kind is the ones that you must ALWAYS tell your mum about, no matter what.
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago
There are some secrets that are ok, like for a surprise. It’s secrets that make you uncomfortable or can hurt someone that are bad.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
My mom told me growing up that no one is allowed to touch my private parts and if they do to tell her. I remember several conversations as a young girl where she would ask me to make sure no one has touched me
Susan Egan 5 years ago
Don't forget to mention that adults shouldn't ask kids for help. Adults should ask adults for help. Don't go near a car. Don't help look for a lost dog/puppy etc. Tell them you will get your parent for them.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
My mom doesn't believe anything I say. I know I have lied in the past, so maybe it's my fault. Then again, everything is my fault.
Meanwhile, "Walking Outside in Slippers" founder Samantha said that repetition can help kids learn. "I hope if we just keep repeating ourselves on the issues that matter most to us, and personally demonstrate those qualities we want our kids to have, they'll get the message eventually," she said. Samantha added that one of the biggest challenges is that kids need lots of validation and they're always vying for their parents' attention.
But what are the most important things about life that Samantha wants her own children to know? "There's so much to tell my children about life. And there is so much I'm still learning myself. I feel like as I grow older, I realize just how little all of us know about everything. We're all trying to figure it out as we go and find some fulfillment and happiness in the process. I think the most important lesson I've learned and would want to pass along to my children is that no one is better than anyone else. Racism, sexism, religious discrimination, and other forms of discrimination are never OK. We must stay vigilant of how we treat each other, and our attitudes and beliefs," she shared.
#13
Knock the door before you enter.
Wolfstar 5 years ago
I wish my parents listened to this advice. I remember when I was 11 my dad burst into my room when I was changing (they took off my lock since they didn't 'trust me.' If I had my lock, I would've been looking at LGBTQIA+ stuff since I was a closeted panromantic back then. My parents are slightly homophobic.)
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Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 5 years ago
I would add: Knock the door AND WAIT FOR PERMISSION before you enter.
Just.a.ravenclaw.witch 4 years ago
I am a pre teen and obviously don't feel comfortable with my mom seeing me change, as I did when I was little. when I was younger I never locked the door when I changed, because I thought y mom would think I was hiding something. And now I always lock the door and close it and the my mom says "why did u lock the door, I'm your mom" no. just no. I feel comfortable locking the door, and if I want then I will.
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago
Yes, but also use a lock during those times you really don’t want your kids barging in.
#14
Sometimes, friends you trust will manipulate you. Parents should teach their children what manipulation is and how to avoid it... Cause it ain't so black and white
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
I would absolutely love it if my daughter had friends that weren’t toxic but sadly they are and one in particular is very manipulative. My daughter would rather have those “friends” than having no friends coz sadly that is pretty much the only choices she has.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
That’s so sad. Maybe try to get her involved in some sort of sport or social club that isn’t in her school so she can meet new people to befriend
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Susan Egan 5 years ago
I wish I knew how to prep my kids for this. My son is so nice, he was taken advantage of several times. Once we knew what had happened he protected them due to his embarrassment.
#15
You don't have to respect anyone that disrespects you, even if they're your "elder"
OhForSmegSake 5 years ago
I think it's better to GREET everyone with respect, but if they insist on treating you with none than you are under no obligation to return the favour.
Susan Egan 5 years ago
I'm of a different generation. We were taught to respect everyone, until there was a reason not to.
#16
Your mental illness is not a weakness.
von Funnyname 5 years ago
Jesus, if my parents would have just acknowledged that it was possible to have a mental illness that didn't mean you were foaming at the mouth in a straightjacket, my world would be much brighter as an adult. They loved me through all of it, but I should have been pushed for help also, had they known how.
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Yes. My parents do tell me something similar to this (I don't have a mental illness, but I do have some other 'health issues' I guess) I try to believe it but I'm scared it won't go away.
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
physical or mental, if you have funky architecture it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. Just learn about it and know what you can do about it and then - do that.
Jarno Flinkers 5 years ago
I've been suffering from anxiety since 2003. The first few times were really traumatic so I got a bad case of agoraphobia. Unfortunately my dad saw this as a weakness and pushes me in exposure which led to a whole number of panicattacks and got a huge dip in the relationship I had with him. After the diagnosis he came around, but it took me a whole lot of time (about 2 years) before I even started to trust him again.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
I have recently excepted the fact that I may have anxiety. My actual mom died when I was 5, and no one wanted me and my siblings so my aunt adopted us. I would never be comfortable calling her my mother to her face. I sometimes feel bad about that. She says i'm too selfish and i don't think of anyone else. I can never live up to her expectations.
#17
It’s important to be kind, but you don’t need to be everyone’s best friend. Some ppl are just not going to like you, and that’s okay - it goes both ways Also being a kid/teenager is f**king hard work. It gets so much better after high school, I promise
Aski Markup 5 years ago
Ya know, sometimes it doesn't get better after high-school. I tell everyone that I'm so glad I went to university and that it was the best time of my life. Because everybody says that. In fact I hated it. More than high school. But... It did get better after that, thank God.
yosemity sam 5 years ago
everyone keeps saying it's gonna get easier but the pattern I see is that it gets worse every year
Parmeisan 5 years ago
I suppose it depends on what you're talking about. Popularity stops being a thing you need to worry about. Finding friends gets easier because people aren't so shallow, but harder because you don't meet as many people. Responsibilities go up, but so does freedom. You don't need to worry so much about e.g. your parents accepting your sexuality when you are no longer dependent on them. If you have depression or anxiety or anything like that, seek help and that's what will help that to get better. I think most of the things that teenagers struggle with do generally get easier when you get past school. I hope that things will get easier for you soon.
Load More Replies... #18
Admitting they can be wrong sometimes. Parents are humans and make mistakes. Kids need to see that.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
If i could actually yell at my aunt/mom without her slapping me in the face then I would. I would scream at the top of my lungs for her to accept the fact that i'm not like her and I never will be. I've had the wildest fantasies that I'm screaming at her and she is just sitting there, listening to me, which she never does.
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
That's so right, how can I expect my son to apologise if I can't do it myself. I'm human so is he, we all are and humans make mistakes
#19
What to do in an emergency. If the fire alarm goes off they should know that they need to get out of the house. Don't look for mum and dad. Don't hide under the bed. Get out. They also need to know how to call emergency services. If a parent collapses, the child may be the only person around to make the call.
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
Knowing how rough my kids and their friends can be when playing, I've told them countless times that if someone has fallen or been impaled in any way, with any object, DON'T PULL IT OUT! Call for help and let the professionals do that. Resist the urge!
Out of chocolate 5 years ago
We had to have a big talk about what constitutes an emergency after my three year old called 911 because he couldn’t find the crayons and I told him he had to wait until I was done changing his brothers diaper. Thankfully the operator asked him if he was with an adult so he ran to give me the phone... smh
Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
Let them hear what the fire alarm sounds like as well. That will stop some of the panic. They will know what the sound is and practice what to do. Our local fire department has practice 911 calls for kids during their open houses. It's great!
M O'Connell 5 years ago
I remember being told as a very young child how to shut off the gas valve at the meter on the outside of the house, in case there were any kind of emergency.
Caroline Driver 5 years ago
And don't look for the cat, she's probably long long gone! I did once practise with my daughter when she was small (about 5 or 6), what to do if Mummy was lying on the floor not waking up, i.e. phone 999. She never needed to, so I don't know if it would have worked, but it was worth a try
Susan Egan 5 years ago
We had a plan, leave and meet at the neighbors house. They knew how to call 911. I climbed up an extension ladder (I hate heights) to get our cat that had been missing 3 days. As I climbed we went over how to dial 911, who was the closest neighbor to where we were. If they weren't home etc. Both cat and I survived unscathed.
Fred Burrows 5 years ago
Run scenarios that will take the hesitation out of a real life event .
#20
Always have an open mind before coming to an opinion. Question and research the facts before blindly following someone else’s lead.
andate him 5 years ago
Also note to them the difference between opinions and facts, which despite what some people may think (and no I'm not talking about Trump), are non-negotiable
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Not only kids need this advice. Too many sheep on the internet who believe a meme as fact
#21
That it's okay to ask for help and no one will think less of them.
yosemity sam 5 years ago
well some people will think less of you but honestly who gives a damn?
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
and others will think more of you. There was a study where strangers who just spoke versus one asking for a small favour. The ones who asked for a small favour were better liked. They were considered open and welcoming; the person doing the favour, felt happier about themselves.
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Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Well, unless it means your dad beats crap outta you, then it's a bit of a problem to ask for help....
Isabella R.W. 5 years ago
Never be ashamed to ask for help, especially when it comes to serious stuff like abuse, it's very important to speak up.
Load More Replies... eezycheezes101 5 years ago
See, my aunt says that, but she'll yell at me while saying that. Everything has to be yelling, screaming, cussing at me. Then when I do ask for it she doesn't help me. When I get frustrated with things, I start to cry. Idk why, but i do. She'll yell at me for crying and leave me there all night trying to do it.
Beth Adams 5 years ago
eezycheezes, Because you’re already in a stressful situation, anything can make you cry. Happens to me at work. Your aunt sounds stressed too. Look up Myers-Briggs Personality Types and learn about yourself and the people you live with. It will help you understand and cope. Also, seems like you’re needing someone to listen to you-go to your fav teacher. If you’re old enough to work, get a part time job to get out of the house, then offer to pay for something (food, gas, your aunt’s fav dessert) every month. Do your best to be helpful where you live. Try to think positive thoughts and look for beauty. I and other pandas wish you peace and love.
Load More Replies... Makayla Rhodes 5 years ago
If someone thinks less of you for asking for help, it means they don’t ask for help, meaning they think they are perfect and they are probably stuck up and selfish so it doesn’t matter what they think.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Some people see it as a sign of weakness... they're wrong of course.
Load More Replies... #22
“You don’t have to earn my love. Nothing you do will ever make me love you any less. I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what.” I say these three lines to my kids so often!
M O'Connell 5 years ago
@Martha Meyer That says more about you than it says about them. Just because someone has made poor choices and has a criminal record does not mean that they aren't your child, that they aren't deserving of parental love and support. A parents job is never over, regardless of how old (or how messed-up) their children have become. Rejecting them outright will not help them to grow beyond their past and become a productive member of society (even if they are in prison for life).
Irina Deneva-Slav 5 years ago
This is perhaps the most important one. It makes up the foundation for trust and avoids so many problems caused by "What will my parents say? I won't tell them because they'll stop loving me." It's not enough to just say it, though, you have to mean it and act accordingly.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
I will always have to earn her love. She says she loves me, but I have a hard time believing that what she does, it's because she loves me. I have a hard time believing I can be noticed by her.
Out of chocolate 5 years ago
This is very much along the lines of what we say. “We love you so much, no matter what. There is nothing you could do that would make us stop loving you, and nothing you have to do to make us Love you because we already do.”
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
I say this almost every day, regardless of how I feel about my son's choices and behaviour, I love him and nothing can change that. I like to 'tease' him by saying muahahaha I love you andctheres nothing you can do to stop me XD he always grins
#23
Express that it's ok to feel uncomfortable and not want to do something. I saw a post where a mother taught her daughter to say hello but if she didn't want a hug or a kiss on the cheek she was never forced to do so. If the kid felt comfortable she would do it. Expressing that this is ok seems pretty important IMO
Lousha 5 years ago
Hated the mandatory kisses with the extended family when I was little. My grandfather was a typical farmer, very rough around the edges, always had a stubble that just pricked and hurt as you'd kiss him on the cheek, and he smelled like stale wine. I liked to be around him because he was funny and friendly with us little ones but hated to kiss him. One of my aunts was very unkempt, her facial hairs were also really prickly :) One of my cousins (from a previous marriage of my aunt's) was much older than all other cousins, almost a grown up when we others were just kindergarteners and it felt really odd to kiss him simply because he was not "blood", wasn't really a kid but also wasn't a "real adult". He was great company and a genuinely nice young man but I always shirked away from kisses if I could. So yeah, please stop forcing kiddos to kiss people just because you feel like it's polite or customary or whatever.
Lousha 5 years ago
Lots of people talk about how this sort of thing can lead to kids not being aware that they can say no in predatory situations. For me it certainly didn't have that affect, my parents made sure to prepare us for that sort of thing and to be aware of all kinds of dangers. But it did make me hate family reunions, I would stress about it days ahead that I'll have to kiss 20 people who I see once a year, and I kept making up all sorts of excuses like I had to go to the bathroom right as we arrived so by the time I came back the "kissy part" would be over and hopefully nobody would remember that I was left out.
Load More Replies... Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
I was a foster parent for many years - this is STRESSED in training and should be taught in every home. Handshake maybe (well air high-five nowadays) and that's it. No other physical contact unless both feel comfortable with it. period
Lousha 5 years ago
Great policy. Another good addition to that can be to ask the kid why she/he is uncomfortable with anything adults would like them to do. Apart from kissing relatives I was also very "shy" about greeting any adults, at least that's how my mom put it and it annoyed the heck out of her because she felt embarrassed in front of her friends that her child is so rude. The truth is I hated the greeting that was expected of little kids in my country which roughly translates to "I kiss your hand". But if I used the more "adulty" forms like a simple "good morning" people looked at me funny because "kids don't say that". So I usually just tried to be invisible, muttered something quietly enough so nobody could actually hear it and I considered the matter done.
Load More Replies... Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 5 years ago
The only extended family i visit are my moms parents and her sister. My dads parents and my other cousins and aunts/uncles are in another country. Our family is small.
#24
Having money doesn't make you better than anybody else.
Sanne H. 5 years ago
True. And when you do have it: It’s not the money that makes you better, it’s how you spend it.
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
Yep, like how much money did you spend on that fur jacket? You know you can buy a mosquito net for 2 dollars and save a life right?
Load More Replies... DDmaybeandor 5 years ago
Working for a variety of people as an upholsterer I observed, it's often not the rich people who are butts, it's the ones who want you to think they're rich.
Marcia Cash 5 years ago
Money and wealth are different things. Health, fresh air, a comfortable bed, clean water, good food, loving friends are Wealth. As my grandma said "Money can't buy happiness, it just buys stuff. Then you have to dust all that stuff."
Aileen Grist 5 years ago
True - and no-one is better than you. Your boss/teacher may be your senior, but they are never your superior
#25
Coping skills to process their emotions
Nancy Jeckells 5 years ago
This is such a good one. Sadly, they need the skills themselves to be able to teach them.
Mark Newman 5 years ago
When my toddler gets grumpy/angry, we first of all ask what's wrong, then we suggest 'blowing out' all the angry... deep breath blowing at the clouds to push them away/ blow the lights out - repeat until calmed.
Just.a.ravenclaw.witch 4 years ago
I have a toxic mother who calls me idiot and tells me I don't deserve anything. Whenever I try to express my feeling, and sometimes have a literal meltdown and tell her what I feel when she calls me horrible things and tells me I do everything wrong, she doesnt even care. once I was telling her to please stop making me feel like this because what she said hurt, when I was done speaking she just said "done?" and If I am making a valid point in an arguement, she tells me off for "talking back" or giving me the silent treatment for whole days. I can't even get away from her because I am just in middle school.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
Like she'll ever ask me and my sister how we're feeling. I'd be to afraid to explain to her that my entire life feels like it's being chipped away. Slowly, slowly, until i'm left to stand on the last pebble of my life. A pretty stupid metaphor, but it's the only one that makes most sense to me.
DogMatic 5 years ago
Reading your responses on this post, I feel like you may need to seek some help. Do you have (or can you find) another adult in your life that you can trust, e.g. teacher, medical professional, social worker, neighbour, friend/friend's parent etc? Or even any local resources e.g. helplines? Please try to find someone to share your concerns with. Everybody needs help sometimes, there is no shame in asking for it. I don't know you or your circumstances, I'm just some old fart who still needs help sometimes, & can recognise when others do too.
Load More Replies... #26
Look out for the smaller kids on the playground, kindness is free so make sure to use it.
Lousha 5 years ago
In turn it's very useful to teach that just because someone is nice or helpful to you it doesn't automatically mean they want to be your BFF. I had lots of bad experiences where people would misinterpret a simple smile, a helping hand and just "latch on" and get very clingy, leading to very awkward situations.
Christine Zanfino 5 years ago
All of us were little at some point. We learned things by someone showing us how. That's the kind of person you should be
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
I'd like to amend that - I've always told my boys to watch for the kids that are alone. Not all bullied children are small - my bully was shorter and weighed less than I did. I also taught them that not all kids are open to your first approach because of being bullied in the past (or present) and that's a trust issue, not a "you" issue. They shouldn't give up trying but give the child some space and continual kindness.
#27
“The world is a f**ked up place. People are going to hate you for the sake of hating you, and spit on you for what you believe. What I want you to know is I’ll always support you. And I’ll never be disappointed in what you do with your life as long as you love it” ~ My dad
Sanne H. 5 years ago
Well, that’s a bit negative. Maybe I grew up in the right place, but to my opinion most people are nice, reliable and willing to help. It’s only those 10% you need to avoid or avoid to become.
von Funnyname 5 years ago
Be grateful you were allowed that blessing. Unfortunately, I think this Dad's comment resonates far too well most places.
Load More Replies... Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
It may be negative but it's true. You can't raise kids thinking it's a Disney or sitcom world. I adopted two children with a different skin color. That has taught me more about this world (and myself) than anything I have ever experienced. It's the COLOR of their body covering! I don't get it.
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
lol... I love baseball and have a child who is a natural lefty and could pitch a mean curve ball - got all the way to high school JV when he finally got brave enough to tell me he really would rather snowboard and skateboard. My response - It's your life kid. Do what makes YOU happy. He was soooooo thrilled.
Susan Egan 5 years ago
My kids are adopted and of different races. Although we don't say it the way it is said above. We did tell a similar story to our kids. Explaining that most of those people are ignorant and unfortunately raised by people that think it's okay to be like that. They needed to know it was that persons problem, there was nothing wrong with them.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
I wish she'd support me and at least try to understand how i feel. How i see things. I wish she would hug me and console me. I wish she'd just look at me with genuine affection and appreciation.
#28
That it's OK to walk away from a fight. It doesn't make you less of a man, and walking away should always be the first resort.
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
My kids know that but I did tell them that if someone is being physically hurt and there are no adults around to help, it is ok to defend that person to the best of their abilities.
Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
Before I made the decision to homeschool my 6th grader, he was in a fight started by another larger 6th grader. I was so proud of my son - he didn't fight back - he did one better. He laughed! Made the other kid so mad he was stuttering and fuming. :) I was a happy mom with the way he handled that situation.
#29
You didn’t ask to be born so it’s my responsibility to take care of you, pay for your expenses and make food and you don’t have to thank me for it because it’s normal (Actual thing my parent told me as a child)
Jess-a-men 5 years ago
I never got the concept that children "owe" their parents something for being fed and sheltered and cared for. You know what it's called when you don't feed and shelter and care for your child? It's called child neglect. Child neglect is a crime. You don't get rewards for not committing crimes. Your reward is not going to prison. Does my neighbor owe me something for not setting his house on fire? Does my boss owe me something for not stealing his car? No? Then why would my children owe me something for not abusing them?
Martha Meyer 5 years ago
So do you plan on kicking your old parents to the curb? Probably not. You DO feel you should give back in their old age. And that's a good thing.
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OhForSmegSake 5 years ago
The weirdest thing is ive got one parent, mother, who constantly reminds me how much I owe her for all the time/energy/money she put into raising me and I resent her. It makes me want to dump her on my sibling or in a home when she gets old. My father is the opposite, and I would give up everything to care for him until his dying day
Trying so hard thinking 5 years ago
I heard something completly diffrent - I was responsibilited to be born in wrong time and inappropriate material circumstances. It was weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Just.a.ravenclaw.witch 4 years ago
" we feed you and clothe you. you're not even going to give your dad the happiness of knowing you are doing well in school and behaving?" -my mother
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
And while all of that is true - saying thank you (and meaning it - or practicing gratitude) is a good skill. It helps keep things in perspective.
Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 5 years ago
The only thing i have to pay my parents back is respect and love.
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
She make me and my siblings thank her for everything. She'll wake up and expect us to thank the lord for even waking us up. I understand that but can you just chill?! Everything has to be somehow related with God or something. I'll make a joke and she'll turn it into a lecture about Jesus. Like, how?!
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago
Of course it’s normal, but saying thank you is basic manners. A kid who doesn’t get in the habit of saying thank you at meals as a child will be rude to servers as an adult.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
And you’re not entitled to an allowance. I certainly don’t get one when I’m washing the dishes so don’t expect one as a kid. I think allowances are a horrible idea anyway. It’s one thing going above and beyond and doing the stuff I pay someone to do anyway (washing my car, mow the lawn) but washing dishes? Making your bed? No that’s a part of house maintenance. You don’t get paid for that
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Yes, but they need to learn to manage money and the best way to do that is to have their own. So less 'entitlement' and more teaching valuable life skills.
Load More Replies... #30
That it's OK to be straight, gay, bi, pan, cisgender, transgender, or gender-fluid. There is no wrong sexual or gender identity. Just be yourself.
Wolfstar 5 years ago
@Dave In MD, shut the hell up. Being lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, and more is not a mental problem. Being LGBTQIA+ is perfectly fine. History will look back on this era and wonder what the actual f*ck we were doing. Shaming people because of their sexuality? That's stupid and horrible. And we come down on people who use slurs and shame us because it's wrong. Sure, some people might think that labeling people is bad, but it makes some people feel comfortable with who they are because they have a word to describe them. Now, why don't you go sit down and figure out your sh*t?
Zenozenobee 5 years ago
Preach! This is not labeling, this is words to think youself. This is definitivly the right type of situation to refer to "newspeak": not wanting people to use words to discribe their ideas, their feelings, their identity, this is preventing them to think themselves.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Norton 5 years ago
This goes for more than sexuality. This goes for all of you. I tell my kids be you.... whatever that is. Don't hurt anyone, don't break any laws, leave the world better than you found it, but be you. I don't live through my kids and I don't dictate who they are. It shouldn't be limited to gender or sexual preference. We need to let kids develop and form who they want to be in all ways.
RoyalMoon27 5 years ago
That is very true, but parental intolerance of their children's sexuality/gender identity is a hugely major problem. Children are getting kicked out, disowned, abused, and otherwise mistreated simply for loving who they love and being who they are. More parents accept their children's personality differences than do their sexuality/gender identity, although many parents would also be intolerant of different religions/political views in their children, so I definitely see what you mean. Have a nice day!
Load More Replies... eezycheezes101 5 years ago
Oh my god she would probably throw up if i told her i also liked girls. Literally. Then she would disown me and tell me to go live with someone else.
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
It is my perspective that since the bible did not actually mention homosexuality until someone edited it to say that in about 1946 - it ain't a problem. It did (prior to 1946) specifically prohibit molesting children... wondering about that change....
Fact Perils 5 years ago
Transgenderism isn’t just about “a boy liking girly things”, it’s gender dysphoria, a mental condition thats cured by transitioning. Until they reach puberty kids will not receive surgery or hormones, they will just socially transition as in change their name or tell everyone that they aren’t a boy/girl.
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KombatBunni 5 years ago
Get the hell over yourself and learn how to be a functioning adult before you judge others.
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#32
What gay people are. I was 12 when I first released gay was just a matter of liking the same gender. I thought gay meant an effeminate man, or something that was "girly" (think "that's so gay"). Parents should remind their children that some children have two mom's or two dad's, and that some people fall in love with and marry people of the same gender rather than the opposite one and that's completely normal. Also, teach them why people look a certain way, and to respect that. Some people have scars or an amputated limb, or they have downs syndrome which makes them look different, and parents should discuss that openly when the situation arises (maybe not around the person in question) rather than make it seem taboo and not talk to them about it. For example "We don't know why he only has one leg. He might have had an accident or an illness in his leg that meant he lost it. However we need to remember that people like him are still just like us, they may need extra help with some things, but we shouldn't stare or laugh at them because it's upsetting for them."
Henry Cheves 5 years ago
I know adults shouldn't and it can be embarrassing, but kids often can't help staring at someone who looks extremely different. When I was in kindergarten, there was a girl I didn't actually know and saw only at recess who was several grades older than me, and she was born without half of one of her arms. I remember thinking it looked like a balloon at the end and wondering if she could actually pop her arm. Kids don't know not to, and even when they do, they might not be able to resist the temptation.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Staring is often natural and doesn't mean a judgement is being applied. It can take a few minutes for someone to spot what makes another 'different. Asking questions, prefaced by 'may I ask' is not unreasonable but being taught that the person may mind and could refuse is important. Laughing at someone? Never okay.
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#33
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you work, you just end up with s**t.
von Funnyname 5 years ago
I think that is coupled with the realistic notion that, in life you'll have to eat s**t sometimes to get to the good stuff.
#34
The idea that if someone specifically tells them to not tell their parents, they should tell their parents immediately. This is something an old boss (as an au pair) did with her kids. She did this with the idea that if anyone tried to do something awful (let’s be honest, most molesters grooms the child with the “just our little secret/nobody will believe you” method) then they would tell their parents knowing that their parents would always be thankful they did even if what the kid did was naughty/illegal/whatever Hilarious after effect once was the kids weren’t allowed soda, one of their cousins gave them some and one of the kids immediately told me and their mum. Also think that it might perpetuate into their teens. Their mum hopes anyway
#35
You don't need to be everyone's best friend. It's important to be kind, but some people just aren't going to like you, and that's OK — it goes both ways.
#36
Do you wanna talk about anything.
yosemity sam 5 years ago
This is good advice but keep in mind kids are liable to lie about that (especially older ones). lots of kids don't want to talk to their parents so just asking them "do you want to talk" might not be enough.
#37
How to be emotionally intelligent. I feel like I didn't use a lot of my 20s to their full potential because I was an emotional idiot.
Susan Egan 5 years ago
I'm not sure that this can be taught. Sometimes, lots of times, no matter what we try to do will be treated as "my parent is so stupid, or just doesn't understand". It doesn't stop when they hit their 20s. This may be one of those things you just have to learn the hard way.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
20s are a decade where we do a lot of learning, more than people realise. We should never stop learning but that first decade as an adult is a big one.
#38
Speak up. Say what's on your mind. So many kids are taught it's rude to talk back to your parents that it sometimes rob them of the confidence to speak up anywhere.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Speak with respect, in all situations. That mght be a better way to go about it?
Sanne H. 5 years ago (edited)
But there is a balance somewhere. In the Netherlands, the current generation of children is taught it’s normal to talk back to their parents. As a result, we (teachers, bus drivers, police, government...) currently have a huge authority problem.
M O'Connell 5 years ago
Question authority at every turn, it is your duty to expose abuses of authority. Questioning authority is NOT the same defying authority. Something few people seem to understand is that a citizen has absolutely no authority to defy the police. None whatsoever. If a police officer orders you to stand on one foot, or arrests you for no reason, you MUST comply. Abuses of power can only be challenged before a judge, and judges are generally very receptive to well-presented challenges.
Load More Replies... Aileen Grist 5 years ago
Say it to someone's face rather than behind their back - do it kindly, courteously and with respect. If you want to know something about a person then they are the best person to ask.
Isabella R.W. 5 years ago
I always try my best not to talk back to my parents, but sometimes if I have an opinion on certain stuff, I do like to share it.
#39
It's alright to fail, as long as you pick yourself back up and learn something from it. And that you still love them no matter their grades and their beliefs. At least that's what I wanted to hear from my parents.
#40
Do not allow yourself to be questioned by cops without an attorney present. (at least in the US)
Sanne H. 5 years ago (edited)
I’m feeling very sad for people living in countries where the police - who is supposed to protect you - can’t be trusted. The police offers I know, became police officers with idealistic motives, and I trust them. I hope that one day, it will be like that everywhere.
Nancy Jeckells 5 years ago
if they're black and living in the U.S., the advice is a MUST, where've you been??
Load More Replies... #41
"Sorry", when appropriate.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Realising and accepting you were wrong and saying sorry is definitely a sign of strength. Weak people don't admit their mistakes.
#42
'I appreciate your input. You won't always be right and what you say won't always change my mind but I still value your opinion.' Communicate with your kid, most of the time you will know better than they will but at least listen to what they have to say. Remember to also keep an open mind and be willing to compromise.
M O'Connell 5 years ago
If your child attempts to be a "little know-it-all" allow them to fail, rather than insist that they are wrong and end the discussion. Enough of this experience will teach them that they aren't always right.
Aileen Grist 5 years ago
If you don't know the answer, then say so and show them how to find the answer for themselves - by finding the answer
#43
Never dive Headfirst into unfamiliar water. My cousin broke his neck that way.
Lousha 5 years ago
My dad dived ass first. Not much better... The water was unusually shallow that year, about 40 cm deep... He didn't sustain any permanent injury luckily but he couldn't walk straight for weeks.
M O'Connell 5 years ago
"Ass first! lt breaks the fall!" ~Lethal Weapon 4
Load More Replies... Susan Egan 5 years ago
Simpler plan would be, look before you leap. Never into water that you haven't been in before.
#44
“I’ll never be mad at you when you are telling me the truth.”
Lousha 5 years ago
Only say that if you can live by it. For me it backfired badly. My mom always told me to own up to it if I did something bad, she will not be mad and I will not be punished as long as I don't try to hide it or lie about it. Then they put a brand new light cream coloured carpet in the living room. (With 3 kids under 7...) I was around 3 or 4, and I liked to watch TV sitting on the carpet. I had a cute little glass mug with a dwarf from Snow White on it, and I loved how bright red squash looked like in it. Of course I managed to spill it on the carpet. I panicked, then I pulled myself together and marched straight to my mom like a little hero, and bravely, honestly apologised and told her what happened. She yelled at me for half an hour for being the worst kid in history and the carpet is now ruined because of me. A while later she did say she shouldn't have yelled but she was still obviously very mad. I'm 39 now. I don't think I EVER admitted any fault to her since.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Their fault for having cream carpet with such small children. Honestly, have moppable floors. Anyone can spill a drink.
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Dippin Dot 5 years ago
Wrong! You will be mad (and that's normal), but not as mad as if you found out they lied. That's how I put it to my son: If you do something and you lie or you cover it up, which is a form of lying, I will be more mad than if you just own up and tell me. You may get in trouble, but your punishment will always be worse if I find out the truth from anyone but you.
Martha Meyer 5 years ago
That's great incentive for your kid to always hide everything from you.
Load More Replies... #45
Don't follow the crowd, make your own choices. Seriously, if you want to join the science club join it, you won't see those kids after graduation who cares what they think.
Clementine 5 years ago
Yes. 20 years from now it won't matter what your hair looked like, what kind of jeans you wore, what matters is what you learn and how you use it.
#46
Theres no such thing as perfect
#47
Never make a promise you're not sure you can keep.
Aileen Grist 5 years ago
Don't ask others to make promises - lives change and sometimes we can't live up to our promises.
#49
If you are ever scared, unsure, or something doesn't feel right. I promise I will listen to you and take your concerns seriously.
#50
The world isn't fair, don't try to change what you can't, and instead worry about the things you can.
Aileen Grist 5 years ago
There's no point in worrying - if you can change it then do - if you can't then just get on with it and let it go. Worrying takes the joy out of today.
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Parents, your children are people. Not miniature do-overs for you. Not kickbags. Not scapegoats. Not angels. *People* in the process of growing. Nurture wisely and well, please.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Yes! Though if you can't manage wise do your best but be KIND! Also, children are a gift to be treasured but we are supposed to raise them to be independent, thoughtful adults so teach them about the world. If you don't teach them about the bad stuff they won't know what to avoid. Overprotection can be dangerous. If they ask questions they are ready for the answers.
Load More Replies... Wolfowl 5 years ago
"I love you no matter what and it's okay if you have a hard time finding emotions. I'll help you with any mental illness you have and it's perfectly fine if you want personal space."
Isabella R.W. 5 years ago
if i have children when I grow up I want to teach them a lot of these things. Especially I want them to know that all races, sexualalities & genders are normal, everyone is a human no matter what. Also I want to teach them how to be safe & protect themselves, even tho I live in a really safe state, we can never be too sure.
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
It's strange that we have been thinking that gender was black and white. Nothing else in life is so straight cut, so why would gender not be a rainbow? Some people are stuck in their ways, they haven't opened their hearts yet.
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 5 years ago
One of my own mom like 10 years ago: Is ok to be childfree, you are not in this world to give me grandchildren. I love her.
SirPatTheCat 5 years ago (edited)
If you’re kid picks up on things quickly don’t tell them they’re smart all the time. Tell them “nice job on that” or something. When I was growing up people always told me I was smart just because I picked up on things faster than some others, and it led to me equating “smart” to “being able to do something new well and quickly”. That meant that when I came upon something I didn’t get right away I didn’t know what to do and felt stupid as hell, and immediately wanted to give up. My entire academic worth was based on getting stuff fast, so it was like pulling the bottom piece out of a jenga tower the first time I actually started struggling. I also didn’t want to ask for help for fear of looking stupid to the people who had been so happy with me for being so smart. So for example, kid gets 100 on a math test, don’t say “Good job, you’re lucky you”re so smart” say “Good job on learning that math”. Hope that makes sense.
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
I hear you so much on this. I would berate myself for anything I wasn't automatically good at and I felt my academic skills were what defined me: a sure set up for misery down the road. I do think awareness of children's mental health is a newish concept, but I'm glad it's finally being recognised
Load More Replies... Donna Cheung 5 years ago
It's ok to be upset. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry. And then after we cry, we think of what we can do to pick ourselves up again.
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago
“Your private parts are your own and nobody gets to touch them except for you in private. If anyone tries tell me right away.”
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
School might seem like it’s never going to end, but it does. If you’re kind of different from the mainstream, and having a hard time with classmates, don’t let it get you down. There’s a big world out there, and you will find true friends who accept you just the way you are. School is temporary—-you will be amazed just how quickly you forget it, and how little it really matters, once it’s over.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
The different children are often the ones that have the most success post formal education.
Load More Replies... Christina Uhlir 5 years ago (edited)
Teach your children to respect and love animals - the voiceless, defenseless, innocent, sentient beings - and they will grow up to be kind, compassionate, empathetic, just human beings. If every parent would do that, we would be living in a different world. --"As long as man continues to be the ruthless destroyer of lower living beings, he will NEVER know HEALTH or PEACE. For as long as men massacre animals they WILL kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain CANNOT reap joy and love." - Pythagoras (570 - 480 BC/BCE) Greek mathematician & philosopher.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Parents, your children are people. Not miniature do-overs for you. Not kickbags. Not scapegoats. Not angels. *People* in the process of growing. Nurture wisely and well, please.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Yes! Though if you can't manage wise do your best but be KIND! Also, children are a gift to be treasured but we are supposed to raise them to be independent, thoughtful adults so teach them about the world. If you don't teach them about the bad stuff they won't know what to avoid. Overprotection can be dangerous. If they ask questions they are ready for the answers.
Load More Replies... Wolfowl 5 years ago
"I love you no matter what and it's okay if you have a hard time finding emotions. I'll help you with any mental illness you have and it's perfectly fine if you want personal space."
Isabella R.W. 5 years ago
if i have children when I grow up I want to teach them a lot of these things. Especially I want them to know that all races, sexualalities & genders are normal, everyone is a human no matter what. Also I want to teach them how to be safe & protect themselves, even tho I live in a really safe state, we can never be too sure.
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
It's strange that we have been thinking that gender was black and white. Nothing else in life is so straight cut, so why would gender not be a rainbow? Some people are stuck in their ways, they haven't opened their hearts yet.
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 5 years ago
One of my own mom like 10 years ago: Is ok to be childfree, you are not in this world to give me grandchildren. I love her.
SirPatTheCat 5 years ago (edited)
If you’re kid picks up on things quickly don’t tell them they’re smart all the time. Tell them “nice job on that” or something. When I was growing up people always told me I was smart just because I picked up on things faster than some others, and it led to me equating “smart” to “being able to do something new well and quickly”. That meant that when I came upon something I didn’t get right away I didn’t know what to do and felt stupid as hell, and immediately wanted to give up. My entire academic worth was based on getting stuff fast, so it was like pulling the bottom piece out of a jenga tower the first time I actually started struggling. I also didn’t want to ask for help for fear of looking stupid to the people who had been so happy with me for being so smart. So for example, kid gets 100 on a math test, don’t say “Good job, you’re lucky you”re so smart” say “Good job on learning that math”. Hope that makes sense.
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
I hear you so much on this. I would berate myself for anything I wasn't automatically good at and I felt my academic skills were what defined me: a sure set up for misery down the road. I do think awareness of children's mental health is a newish concept, but I'm glad it's finally being recognised
Load More Replies... Donna Cheung 5 years ago
It's ok to be upset. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry. And then after we cry, we think of what we can do to pick ourselves up again.
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago
“Your private parts are your own and nobody gets to touch them except for you in private. If anyone tries tell me right away.”
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
School might seem like it’s never going to end, but it does. If you’re kind of different from the mainstream, and having a hard time with classmates, don’t let it get you down. There’s a big world out there, and you will find true friends who accept you just the way you are. School is temporary—-you will be amazed just how quickly you forget it, and how little it really matters, once it’s over.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
The different children are often the ones that have the most success post formal education.
Load More Replies... Christina Uhlir 5 years ago (edited)
Teach your children to respect and love animals - the voiceless, defenseless, innocent, sentient beings - and they will grow up to be kind, compassionate, empathetic, just human beings. If every parent would do that, we would be living in a different world. --"As long as man continues to be the ruthless destroyer of lower living beings, he will NEVER know HEALTH or PEACE. For as long as men massacre animals they WILL kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain CANNOT reap joy and love." - Pythagoras (570 - 480 BC/BCE) Greek mathematician & philosopher.
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