In one of her pieces for The Guardian, writer Gaby Hinsliff argues that it's time for people to stop rolling their eyes whenever they hear someone say "modern male struggle".
To get a better understanding of what it entails, let's take a look at a Reddit thread that asked the platform's men what they want to stop being judged for.
From their physical features to how they behave in public, continue scrolling to check out some of their top-voted replies.
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Being short. Literally no one has control over their height. Judge people for the things they *can* control.
Literally I’ve never understood why people (especially men) get judged for being short
Like all stereotypes, it originates somewhere. At some point some less than average height dude tried too hard to make up for the lack of size. This behavior of course with my gender is not strictly limited to height lol!
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It's amazing how many women on dating sites casually reference this. I'm 5'10" and in my mid 50's. You're single in that age group and your main concern is height? Imagine how offended they would be if I mandated a bust size or weight?
They are probably single in that age group BECAUSE they're shallow like that.
Load More Replies... My Dad once told me Son, when you're lying down, it doesn't matter who's taller. And he was definitely right!
This is me. That's the reply I give when someone is stupid enough to ask.
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Yeah I'm a trans guy and I'm slightly shorter than the average where I live- I'm very tall for a girl but I am not a girl so there's a bit of an issue there
The 99% of women who demand men to be 6ft or up are smaller than Plankton
I like no guys but if I did I’d like short guys because otherwise it would be a different kind of long distance relationship (I’m short)
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I don't judge a guy for being short, but as a 6'1" woman, I do want someone taller than me. I've been told my height in intimidating, so I don't want to feel like i'm a freak or giant in my relationships.
I'm just slightly over 5' so almost all men are taller than me. I married a man about 13" taller (wasn't particularly seeking a tall partner but it didn't put me off either), and our grown son is about the same height as his dad, and has nicknamed me Munchkin!
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Just saying…as a tall woman (5’10”) the only people that have ever had an issue with being shorter than me are men. They say they are fine with it, then it becomes a micro aggression to be used later at my expense. That’s why I no longer date men shorter than me; they have more of an issue with it then me but the difference is they made me feel like s**t about it.
6ft tall and that’s been my experience as well unfortunately.
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I think us short men are so used to be overlooked by women of average height that we just assume tall women won't even notice us at all...
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My husband is 5'6" is friend is 6'4" the buddy asked me once why I picked my husband over him, I told him I was afraid of heights.
My man is shorter then me and it has never been an issue. 🤷🏻♀️ He's more man than any of my 6ft ex's 😆
As a woman, I have been attracted to men who were roughly the same height as me, but, even though they showed interest, it never got past that point because they felt self conscious around me. I'm 5'7". So, the same could be said about women who are even mildly tall, like myself. My heart is basically scar tissue at this point, all because they didn't want to be with a woman who's around the same height. I was too tall.
Yeah, I'm an inch shorter than you, and I've had guys ask me not to wear heels on a date. After a couple such requests, I started thinking it was a waste of time to date men my height or shorter, because they would always resent my height. Part of the issue is that so many men love high heels on women. They don't care that it hurts, they want what they want, so that trend will probably never go away, unfortunately.
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I’ve never cared about packaging; big brains are where it’s at. So I’ve usually dated shorter men because other ladies miss some amazing fellas for a dumb reason. I guess they’d rather have a constantly sore neck?
A YouTuber described people who judge height amazingly by saying “Ha ha, my parents’ genes combined in such a way that they’ve given me more height than the way your parents’ genes combined”
my type is "short" guys. No matter what is generally accepted, people will still have their own tastes. And what one does not like, will be absolutely perfect for others. If you are short, don’t worry, you will definitely meet the one .Just try to be a good person, value yourself and others. And you will meet one that will respect herself and you. The way you are
I LOVE men who are my height or shorter! Saves a lot of time, easy to find things in the dark -- vertical or horizontal. LOVE not wearing hi-heels, love being able to spontaneously kiss and not miss those lips. What's not to LOVE??!!!! YUM!
I don't know anyone who judges men for being short here in africa, usually a short man marries a short woman.
I've been saying for a while now, "Why are you ridiculing someone for something that's beyond their control?"
I Absolutely HATE being called "too tall". I'm 6'6" (198.1cm). My new response is "If I was any shorter my feet wouldn't reach the ground."
I honestly don’t get why height really matters, when it’s really about the person you’re getting to know, not what they look like. I once had a BF who was a little bit shorter than average & he was probably the sweetest of guys I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, like a big ol’ teddy-bear. The only reason we aren’t still seeing each other is due to me becoming more chronically ill with severe disabilities that have since kept me housebound … as I just couldn’t bear to see him give up his own freedom in life to become one of my carers. I still miss him, but I know it was the right thing to do, for his sake. So, yeah. Don’t judge someone for something so petty as what they look like or even how different their way of thinking is, because no one is created the same; yet, we all bleed as red as the next person... 🤔💖🤷♀️
My dad was 6'2. All of my boyfriends have been 5'10 and under. My mom asked where I found all these short guys. They're at eye-level.
I always hate this. Women who judge on something like height should be judged equally, by boobs or size or whatever. So they know how ludicrous they are
i was once told by a woman at work that i "wasn't a real man" because i'm 5 foot 7.....!!
No real woman uses the phrase "real man". Nor do real men.
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Or the judging of a short man with a tall woman. It actually makes since. People r attracted to traits they want in their children.
Women need to feel safe, especially if they are exceptionally beautiful, many women I know have been scouted for trafficking even if it’s enticing children to leave the safety of their rules. Protect children online and when the doors are unlocked.
Drinking cocktails instead of beer. Or “girly drinks”. It’s my money dammit and I’m gonna drink something that tastes good
Interacting with kids. Especially younger kids, the majority of men arnt pedophiles.
I sometimes get funny looks when I'm at the park with my own kid. Majority of men are not pedophiles and woman can also be them... So yeah.
Seeking support with mental health. I grew up in an environment where this wasn’t ok, but in adulthood I very much needed help working through things and didn’t have the tools or understanding to do it alone.
complimenting another man.
This is so true! Men should be treated the same respect as talking to a someone of the same gender as a woman does!
Having hobbies people define as effeminate.
Such as baking, gardening, textiles, stuff like that.
Elaborating, I love gardening myself, I have a growing garden myself and it has helped immensely with anger issues I used to have, and I’ve had guests over who always assume it’s a product of my wife’s work, which is why I mentioned it.
All of which are jobs that men do, some quite famously so. Really silly to think it is effeminate when it's a hobby.
Taking their full paternity leave as permitted by their employer.
Pffft, I took it all, then took my holidays right after it. Wasn't just my wife who made the baby.
Not being in the mood for sex. Women (or men) can take it so personally. Sometimes we're too exhausted.
Most of me is always ready for sex. But the body, unfortunately, is not a democracy.
Taking long showers. I wish that I was able to take a long shower without everybody in the household thinking I'm having a wank.
I just want to enjoy hot water, it's relaxing.
That's what a wanker would say :)))))) Joke aside, don't waste water for taking 30 minutes showers.
Stoicism. I get it's the modern era and people wanna be open about their feelings and be free to cry. But it cuts both ways. If a man wants to keep their emotions private and in check, he shouldn't be judged as being regressive or cold.
Everyone is different and experiences emotions in unique ways. We should all be able to express that how we see fit as long as we are not hurting or hindering others or ourselves. No two people experience emotions the same way. So who can say what is right and what is wrong.
not peeing standing up. sitting is so much more comfortable
Being shy
For not having a house, not having a car, or not being financially stable. I'm doing what I can, ok?
Getting physically taken care of, for instance massage, spa that kind of thing. Why should women be the only ones to get that stuff? Massages are the best thing.... especially if you do lots of heavy lifting, sports, you know "man" stuff
Expressing ourselves.
My wife is pregnant and has a full time job, since she’s been pregnant I’ve taken on doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, rubbing her feet, taking care of her (When she gets home from work, I put on her favorite show and have her relax the rest of the day, I refuse to have her do any work) etc. This is additional to me already working my job where I pay all our bills, do yard work, vehicle maintenance, etc. I work from the time I get up to the moment we go to bed.
I love my wife very much and want this time for her to be as easy as possible because I know she’s having it tough. She knows that I’ve been busting my a*s lately, but anyone on the outside think men do nothing during this time. Conversations with other people usually go in the way of berating me (Or men in the relationship) by insinuating that I need to step it up more, I’m not doing enough, and if I dare bring up the fact that I’m overwhelmed I’m seen as weak and unfit to be her husband.
I get it though, there are some really s****y guys out there and they’re taking their frustration out on me, but for those of us who are actually putting forth an effort, it’s demoralizing. This type of behavior is why a lot of men simply say nothing because we’d rather not say anything for 15 minutes than deal with hours of drama.
Parenting kids, Working in primary education and being babysitters. People just automatically assume that when a man is doing these things that he’s a pedophile and not to be trusted. But women are never suspect? It doesn’t make sense. If you are concerned with protecting your kids from unsavory individuals, do a background check.
I'm a father of 3 - all past the kindergarten era. Some of the very best, and most popular pedagogues was the men - they had an awesome take on the kids, played with them very different than the female pedagogues, and was loved by the children. However they were forced to work under crazy conditions, could never be alone with a child, not change a diaper. I sadden me that the law suspected them, so they had special rules... They were the best!
Existing.
I'm not a rapist because I'm out at night. I'm not a predator because I have a child in my company. I'm not dangerous because you're defenseless. I'm not a creep because you can't tell why I'm there. I'm not an incel because you don't have empathy for men.
Getting a sports car or new clothes or s**t. I couldn't afford the cars I wanted when I was younger. It's not some phase or a mid-life crisis. Stop labeling men as immature for enjoying things they couldn't when they were younger. Maturity is not defined by one's hobbies or interests. And I just like the car.
Taking the sudden wide step to free our balls from sticking to our thigh
I've unironically worn certain sex toys under my clothes because they prevent this. I swear someone should invent a bra for balls
Having trust issues with women. We are suppose to accept women have trust issues with men, but guys are taken less seriously even when they have solid reasons.
Women have been awful to my hubby in the past, cheating on him, being violent towards him etc. I admire him for not becoming bitter, though he'd have every reason to. We talk things through so there are no trust issues, luckily I understand myself enough to explain why I sometimes act the way I do. Boys and men have often treated me like I'm less than and I'd say I'm more bitter at times than he is.
Being close to their parents. Just because a man is close to his parents/ mother doesn’t mean he’s a “mamas boy.”
And nobody ever considers that maybe their parents need support and not the other way around
Bringing up something that bothers them about their partner, from the major to minor issues.
Honestly, having to deal with the 2 hour long fallout about how said issues make YOUR PARTNER FEEL after they hear it, makes it not worth it. So that s**t gets bottled up.
“Patriarchy” or being a sucessfull white man even though I was born in poverty..
It’s not my fault the world was how it was before I was born.. I don’t belittle women or think they are lesser..
True - you don't have to be judged for something what was created before your time. But you have the responsibility to change things now. Just not to think that women are lesser is unfortunately not enough for a change. Work actively against patriarchic structures whereever you can!
Being happy. Idc if we're wearing PPE and everyone on this jobsite is a depressed alcoholic, I'm gonna whistle once in a while and wear my SpongeBob socks.
My husband has an insulated Hello, Kitty lunch bag that he carries proudly. I worked a corporate job that I loved. I was the VP/Operations assistant and for Christmas one year he gave me a hot pink lunch box (with thermos!) with Mickey & Minnie Mouse at a 50's style diner with a card that said "remember not to take yourself too seriously". Loved that guy.
Not being comfortable around kids. It doesn't mean they can't handle kids or don't like kids. Most likely, it just means they're new to it.
Complimenting women. I was walking past this lady with brilliant bright pink hair and said "I love your hair". She looked at me like I was insane... :(
It's either flattering or creepy - depending on how the guy looks. Being judgy based on appearance is something both genders do. (In reference to the red flag "How a man treats ugly women")
I’m a woman but Id like to share based on what I’ve seen other women judge men on that they genuinely should not be. There’s more but these are the most immediate thoughts.
-liking to spend time with their SO. It’s amazing how many women think it’s weird their man actually wants to spend a lot of time with them
-wanting to/hanging with the boys
-liking/playing video games
-liking/playing with toys
-taking care of themselves (grooming, self care)
-not being handymen
-crying, being vulnerable
-seeking or needing help with mental health issues
-not wanting kids
-not being financially stable or secure or just generally not having their career life together by a certain age
-still living with parents in late 20’s+
so for me, I do find it weird that my SO wants to spend time with me. I think for me that comes from bad past relationships, aka my SO not caring about me and then not wanting to spend time with me. Honestly I think my SO is also codependent now so I think I attract the wrong people haha
Note: this post originally had 54 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to some of these. But it's important to think about them, and why they were said, and why they are upvoted. And try to see the "other side".
Right? The comments on some of these prove their point!
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Things we find annoying because of our gender: the disproportionate volume of BP posts bashing men and encouraging women to share all the ghastly, traumatic and cringeworthy experiences they've had with this awful branch of humanity. Because apparently women can do no wrong.
Finally!!!! Something that is not bashing men. Some of the people in the comments sections have only one perspective, their own. They were unable to see things from a man’s perspective.
When we say we were thinking about nothing, we're telling the truth. There was a glorious moment of complete silence inside our head. It was a beautiful, quiet pocket of total bliss, and you ended it by asking, "What are you thinking about?"
Having (lots) of women friends. If a heterosexual man has a lot of female friends he hangs out with, it’s assumed he’s a playboy, and if he’s in a relationship then people think there’s something suspicious going on. It is completely possible for men to have platonic friendships with women and enjoy spending time with them without having ulterior motives for it.
Here's a big one left off the list: Being single & having a pet cat. It doesn't mean we're wimpy dweebs or gay. Maybe we just prefer them over dogs & actually know how to treat them. Even if we were wimpy dweebs or gay though, that shouldn't be judged either!
So are you arguing for or against people being judged as a cohort?
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Some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to some of these. But it's important to think about them, and why they were said, and why they are upvoted. And try to see the "other side".
Right? The comments on some of these prove their point!
Load More Replies... Things we find annoying because of our gender: the disproportionate volume of BP posts bashing men and encouraging women to share all the ghastly, traumatic and cringeworthy experiences they've had with this awful branch of humanity. Because apparently women can do no wrong.
Finally!!!! Something that is not bashing men. Some of the people in the comments sections have only one perspective, their own. They were unable to see things from a man’s perspective.
When we say we were thinking about nothing, we're telling the truth. There was a glorious moment of complete silence inside our head. It was a beautiful, quiet pocket of total bliss, and you ended it by asking, "What are you thinking about?"
Having (lots) of women friends. If a heterosexual man has a lot of female friends he hangs out with, it’s assumed he’s a playboy, and if he’s in a relationship then people think there’s something suspicious going on. It is completely possible for men to have platonic friendships with women and enjoy spending time with them without having ulterior motives for it.
Here's a big one left off the list: Being single & having a pet cat. It doesn't mean we're wimpy dweebs or gay. Maybe we just prefer them over dogs & actually know how to treat them. Even if we were wimpy dweebs or gay though, that shouldn't be judged either!
So are you arguing for or against people being judged as a cohort?
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