40 Things Men Didn’t Know About Women Until They Got Into A Relationship
Romantic relationships reveal a lot. Spending each day with a soulmate by your side and opening your heart to them is one of the greatest joys in life, and it also gives valuable lessons about who you are as a human being. But creating a healthy connection involves a mutual give-and-take between partners. So if love floating in the air has led you to discover some weird quirks about yourself, chances are that you learned a great deal about your significant other too.
A question on Reddit recently posted by user Foolu is an excellent example of that. They decided to reach out to the Ask Reddit community and invite men to open up about what things they learned about women only after getting into a relationship. And boy, did they deliver!
We at Bored Panda went through the responses and handpicked some of the most interesting and relatable ones. So continue scrolling to read about the eureka moments from men and hit upvote on your favorite ones! If you’re in the mood for even more things guys learned about their partners only later in life, check out our earlier pieces about it here and right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
That they are very capable of solving their emotional problems themselves. Sometimes they just need someone who listens to their story without them saying whats right or wrong.
They don't...stop..thinking... at all. I can be sat on the sofa staring at the wall and my mind is a void... occasionally a though may float past, like a discarded crisp packet in the breeze.. then.. back to silence.
Whereas every woman I've been with seems to have a brain like an 80's stock exchange... thats on fire... and full of angry murder hornets.... so much activity.
And pigeons are pooping everywhere about random trash in my head :/
Load More Replies...I have never been able to access the void for as long as I can remember. It's either random thoughts, depression-induced best-ofs of my failures or that pesky narrator in my head humming the tetris title song
I wish I could access that void. But it’s always intrusive thoughts, random thoughts, or me overthinking something!
Load More Replies...As someone with ADHD and a male I have no void. I rarely get to enjoy true silence. This isn't a struggle that's specific to women. But I do understand that more women then men deal with this.
I got adhd too. And i have never found an empty void place anywhere. Only time my brain is empty, is when i take some pills to stop the brain from going into loop of depression, etc
Load More Replies...I heard the men and women brain are different. Women have wires. A lot of wires, connected in strange ways and their mind goes by those wires and always travels, because those wires make a huge loops. Men have a lot of boxes. We open a box and use things inside. The most interesting box is called "nothing box", it is not completely empty, but mostly. Sometimes something falls in, but usually it is empty, so we can turn off completely.
I have that dvd of Mark explaining that! Should watch it again.
Load More Replies...Few days ago I listened to one stand up comedian as she spoke about difference about men and women by falling asleep. She said that women lied down and had head full of thoughts as " Why did aunt Clare called you -Ann- instead of -Annie- as she usually did call you before.. five years back on family dinner." While men just lie down, put their b.lls in comfort position and fall asleep. - and I think it says a lot about women thinking and overthinking :)
It never stops, especially if we've had something traumatic (like the death of my son.)
I know the void, but only from using CBD drops. I called it dial tone. Am female.
For me is more like the sound of my cpu fans working. Btw good luck with those cbd drops, heard they're very very good, has helped my nephew with his depresion
Load More Replies...This is the exact reason I cannot meditate. I’ve tried so many times but my brain will not cooperate.
How many times my SO has asked me "what are you doing / what are you thinking right now" I'm just sitting there trying to convince them there is literally nothing going on between my ears.
My late wife would always get so mad at me for falling asleep so fast at night, because there was so much to think about how could I sleep hahahahaha
It can be achieved with THC or other mild mental alteration, and INSTRUMENTAL music, or foreign language music. The point is to drift with the music without analysing or letting words lead you to memories or intrusive thoughts. Headphones are best, or closed room with good quality speakers, so nothing distracts.
I don't think that's something specific to woman. Some people (I'm included) have their mind working all the time, something that makes even going to sleep a piece of work
Ahh yes. The typical female brain, combined with ADHD, forms uncontrollable chaos.
This!!! Yes!!!! Finally someone understands what it's like! It never stops and it's sooo exhausting.
I wish I could turn my mind off. I am constantly thinking about something usually several things at once and there’s always some weird song or comercial jingle playing in my head like the background music for some weird movie. It’s so annoying. It’s like that joke ; my mind is like some over worked computer with 17 tabs open at once and god knows where that music is coming from.
yes I have the bad habit of where one thought connects to a very different thought..Its a terrible issue when I txt or msg. The person on the other end is not in my brain so the thoughts Ive laid out make only halfway sense. Now I try to treat it like if I am not staying on the original thought I delete it or dont send it. I could txt my husband.to pick up dog food but then go on about what the dog did or what I am doing like walking it. So I should be amazed he was ever able to decipher the main point. of my chapter long texts. It reminds me of state tests you take where you have to pick a main idea out of a bunch of details that are essentially irrelevant. See 2 long of a reply here.
Load More Replies...I have ADHD, my internal monologue NEVER shuts up. I'm a one-woman brainstorming session 24/7/365.
Hey everyone,, I've found one of those people with no internal monologue...
I just heard that on average women have between 6,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day.
If only they could think of something relevant. Or even slightly interesting.
.......and men think they can be a woman with some surgery, hormones and makeup. Sooooooo not happenin'..... that "flaming '80's stock exchange" DNA can not be "transplanted"...... Maybe that's why they can't define what a woman is .....they are CLUELESS.
Somebody once joked that a woman's brain is like a computer with 3,000 tabs open. Have a different opinion if you wish but it would be a rare man indeed of whom this could ever be said.
Yep lol that's so true. We can't help it. I wish i could shut my mind off
Not always. I am a woman and while talkative sometimes, I also like silence at times. However while my vocals are silent my mind is still very active. Women are genetically made to rear children, the level of thought and quick thinking this involves is astronomical, so women having such active minds is really not that surprising.
WRONG - it's a people thing - I have a friend - guy friend - who is FOREVER asking me what I'm thinking - I am asking myself - Do I try to make up something to sound like an interesting person or just tell the truth - Nothing dude, I am not thinking about anything.
That is very true for me. I take a med to shut my brain down enough at night so I can sleep.
Silence sounds lovely. I usually have four or five streams of thought running through my brain at any given time, three songs, and the audio of every single word on every single sign or label I see. And one monologue just repeating the last thing I heard or said over and over.
I've met women who have completely blank minds, and I'm a man who's mind is always racing. What utter sexist c**p.
So when we wonder what a guy is thinking the answer may really be nothing? That is just inconceivable to a woman.
LOL -- as a woman in her 70s, think you are going after the wrong women! Were my husband of 43 1/2 years still with me, he could concur that that never happened in our long-term, loving relationship.
The guy who wrote this could be a good writer. That description sounds almost poetic.
No wonder they call Us crazy. We just CAN'T. Turn. Our. Minds. Off. The reason being is this: (take heed Men), back in the day while the men were away from the village hunting fresh game, women had to be on the alert to gather vegetables and Edibles and herbs and make the fires and make the clothes and keep the home and take care of the children so our minds had to go in 50 different directions and that's the reason we are the way we are. So don't ever call us crazy. Women's minds are clean and efficient running machines.
Meanwhile that mastodon you just angered with a spear better be the only f*cking thing on your mind. And then how to haul a literal ton of meat back hahaha.
Load More Replies...A burning 80's stock exchange with murder hornets perfectly describes my mind 😂😂
LMAO I LOVE THIS!!!! Angry murder hornets...believe me when I say, we wish it were different!!!!
And for those lucky enough to also have anxiety & ADHD, you're just drowning in all the thoughts! Silence? Don't know her!
Another asinine thing on this list. Yeah, because us men are just lizard brained Neanderthals that only think of food, sex and sleep....
No one said that. All it said is that men sometimes can just not think about anything but women’s minds are all over the place and can’t just stare at a wall and think about nothing.
Load More Replies...A good hug when “nothing” is wrong works wonders.
A hug. Without trying to initiate anything. A hug without touching intimate body parts thinking its funny. Just a hug, it's really not hard. You're way more likely to get fun times later on if you respect her needs in that moment and make her feel valued and heard.
Until I actually lived with my partner it was hard to comprehend just how often a period comes, how long it lasts, and how much it can affect your day to day.
What a pain in the a*s. I do not envy the ladies.
which proves how poor awareness about periods are. not trying to make this comment negative though, i'm actually very happy OP figured this out
They tell you to put the seat down on the toilet because they legit fall in if they don’t notice.
Honestly? How much unnecessary guilt women carry around with them over everything.
First girlfriend I had (18 at the time) everytime I did something nice would either apologize or promise some kind of sexual reward. At first it seemed hot but after a few times in a row I just told her I wasn't doing nice things for a reward but because I cared about her. Made her cry and we talked it out afterwards but yeah after that (and just other things I talked to my female friends about) my eyes were opened to how invalid women seem to feel.
Periods suck. Bras suck. Shaving suck. Women don’t get enough pockets on their clothing. And they appreciate compliments A LOT on things they may be insecure about. (Like stretch marks or thighs)
My wife hates her stretch marks. When she's feeling extra down on them I remind her I think they're sexy. I mean we (she) brought life into this world and those stretch marks are a constant reminder of all the memories of her pregnancy. There were bad times for sure, but I see the faces of my babies in those stretch marks. She endured all of that for us. She brought my greatest joys into this world. How can I look at those and not appreciate everything she's done?
That my hoodies are actually her hoodies.
My first relationship I always wondered why my girlfriend would rant at me about things like horrible coworkers, stress dealing with projects etc. and then get mad at me when I tried to talk through the problems, break them down and help come up with workable solutions. My second relationship I realised when women do this, they just want to rant and have a hug at the end. They don't want your advice, they don't want a calm, rational discussion about what they can do to make a situation better. Don't pour kerosene on that fire, just let it burn out.
Not only women. Sometimes I need to vent about my idiot colleague or customer, talk about how stupid they are for five to ten minutes, then have a cup of tea or shot of rum (or yell at wall for a minute) and then I can forgot about it. And sometimes I just need to hear myself to see the solutions. After all, how else I can discuss the problem with somebody who knows as much as I do about the problem?
That periods are a f**king nightmare that we should be grateful we never have to experience, and sympathetic to those who have to suffer them regularly: light or heavy they’re a frigging beast to deal with while living a normal day to day life.
That relationships take a f**k ton of work and commitment.
Before I got into one, I thought love and passion was all that was needed.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
A real relationship takes so much practical work.
Love, passion, dedication, and trust are the foundations, yes.
However, there are so many more practical considerations on top of that.
Some prominent examples:- Attachment styles.- Finances.- Distance.- Emotional bandwidth.- Maturity level.- Sacrifice.- Commitment.- Discomfort and confrontation.- Learning how to argue and disagree healthily.- Concerns about intimacy and sex.- Power dynamics.- Place in life and relative experiences, sexual and otherwise.
The list goes on.
Relationships are a LOT of f**king work and as I learned the hard way, you could love someone more than life itself and be willing to die for them and think they are your one true soul mate AND THEY CAN FEEL THE SAME EXACT WAY but if these other things aren't in place, then it will NOT work and you will experience the most soul crushing and excruciating heartbreak of your entire existence.
What might be a really small thing for me to give her (a gesture, compliment, smile, etc.) can mean a whole lot to her.
That they don't wear matching underwear all the time. Genuinely thought the bra and panties were always a set. I blame the Sears catalogue.
Do you know how expensive lingerie sets are? f that I'm wearing underwear from Hema.
Finding a doctor who won't assume they're either on their period or that it's "all in their head" is insanely hard. It's difficult to understand if every trip to the doctor has been normal and helpful as a dude.
They are more insecure than they let on and we should do our best to not abuse or use those insecurities against them especially in arguments
• I’m more in tune with feelings and emotions now
• The amount of times women feel uncomfortable by men in day to day situations
They appreciate the gifts you've made, even if they're not good, just the fact that you put effort into making them something
The statement "just do what you want" no matter the tone, means you f**ked up.
Actually the most valuable thing I’ve learnt is be honest. If I’m going to the pub and know I’ll be back late, just be straight up and tell it like it is. Most girls like honesty (seems fairly obvious doesn’t it). The relationship I’m in now has been by far the best because I don’t try to play games which has got me into trouble in the past. Honesty and transparency. It’s the key.
When my hubby goes out I don't give a time I would like him to be home, I just ask what time is the latest he will be home. I do this for safety reasons, like when to know I should start freaking out lol. I don't care if he says 2am, he usually calls me if he thinks it will be later. He is the same with me. Of course there is a curfew if we already have plans arranged.
That birth control messes with their hormones a lot.
Yes. Asking someone to be on hormones daily just because "it doesn't feel as good with a condom" is far from reasonable. All women are different of course and different birth control works with different people but never expect someone to mess with their body for you.
The amount of hair they shed is unreal... Not sure how they still have a full body of hair on their head after a week.
My daughter stays with me, each week I sweep out enough hair to knit another daughter
They hate bras. That thing came flying as soon as the door closed behind her.
If men didn't do hell for them everytime when they saw swaying breasts, women wouldn't have to be tortured with bras.
I learned the most after living with a girl. I started to notice dust and tiny things that just went under my radar. I started taking better care of my skin and teeth after seeing their routine. I appreciated better kitchen appliances. Mostly their ability to turn a living space into something warm and welcoming. A woman’s touch is really something special.
You have to teach someone how to be a good lover to you.
People don’t magically know how to meet your needs. And they certainly can’t read your mind.
Yes. And when they tell you, you must be willing to really listen.
Period panties. That special pair that only come out once a month and look like someone wiped up acid with them. Woman’s bodies are amazing, fun, and terrifying in different times and situations.
Somehow men should also know that vaginas have a natural acidity and dark underwear can look bleached in the crotch because of that.
Snuggles are godlike. Clean and organize EVERYTHING. It’s good for your mental health and it gets you respect. This should be first but: “respect others as you wish to be respected”. Bodily autonomy and general “stuff that bodies do” is outside of everyone’s control, let’s all try to manage as we can and let others know if anything is weird. Talk, try, compromise. For the love of all that is holy: trade. I hate doing laundry, but I love cooking and doing dishes. She hates cooking and dishes and anything mucus related. We traded. I cook, I do dishes, I kill the mice, and I clean / take over all doggo snot stuff. She does the laundry and yells if I attempt to touch laundry to help fold. Point is, be dynamic / adaptive: find the difference, what do you want, what do they want. After that, figure out separate hobbies, you can’t be together forever isolated. Do separate hobbies, have separate friends, have faith in each other, enjoy your time together, and make boundaries serious. After that, it’s all you.
Anything mucus related😆. When was a kid, if I was barfing, especially if it ended up all over the place, that was a "dad thing". Mom headed for the hills. I dont know what the trade was on that one.
They shower with lava. At least thats what the water temperature felt like.
I'm female, but my male partner had no idea that women can't 'hold in' our periods like we hold in pee.
I found this out when he was telling me about a girl in 6th grade who got her period in class, and he couldn't believe how she just 'let it all out all over' (as if she peed in her pants but it was period blood).
I had to explain to him how it works. But I guess, how would he have known? I never thought about it.
Don't be fooled by her constantly forgetting where her keys and phone and stuff are, she'll definitely remember what you said word-for-word October 3 2017 at 6:14PM.
She is more accepting and understanding of my actions than I ever imagined possible. When I feel the need to justify she knew. When I felt unsure she encouraged, more! She more completely captures me, better than a selfie. She is a mirror more honest than my reflection. The brighter I beacon the better she shines making me better to be closer. I married her so results may vary.
If you can tell something is wrong and you ask them “Is something wrong? Let’s talk about it.” And they say “No”, that doesn’t mean nothing is wrong and they don’t want to talk. A lot of the time they just need time to process. Let it breathe, give some space, and let them bring it up later instead of being pushy.
I learned that girls find you attractive mostly for what you do and how you do it, rather than how you look. Guys are more visual in that sense. I've been with girls during periods when I thought I looked like s**t but I still managed, somehow, to be attractive in their eyes just from the way I treated others and the way I made them laugh.
This could be because how we evolved. Think about it, what is procreation for man? 5 minutes. For woman it is 9 months of pregnancy (and we all know that pregnant women are kind of fragile) and then caking care of a kid for ~10 years. So men are looking for good physical traits, while women are looking for somebody who will take care of them for next 10 to 20 years. Somebody who will protect them when they are vulnerable. And mostly, somebody who will protect them from other men. Nicolas Lloyd has a theory that this is why dance is so important. What does a good dancer need? Stamina, good coordination, dexterity, reading other people,... it is same list as a good fighter. But do you want somebody who fights a lot? No, that guy will be dead sooner than later, because he will p**s off everyone. You want somebody, who would be a good fighter when needed.
Make up is expensive as f*ck.
Their favorite bra doesn't get washed much.
*the only bra that fits properly and doesn't make a boob fall out in inappropriate situations * 😂
That they have their own libido. As a teenage male, it didn't occur to me. Yeah, I was a dumba*s. There was always so much talk about boys going through changes and having urges, that it truly never occurred to me that girls felt the same.
That's because all we ever talk about with girls is periods and how not to get pregnant. Nobody talks about how girls can be walking hormone bombs (aside from getting their periods) or how confusing a changing female body can be and how weird it is that getting a pair of boobs suddenly makes everyone treat you differently.
They fart just as much as guys do.
You don’t have enough hangers.
That the difference between men and women is surprisingly small
That morning routine ain't no joke
Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I learned that thedifferent pad sizes are for how heavy the flow is. not pussy size.
Why the downvotes? It's a perfectly acceptable thing for men not to know? Hey, only last week my father told me that if men get a tailored suit (at an upscale joint, anyway), they will get asked on what side they "wear it" as it apparently influences the measurements of the clothes. I'm 35, and I had never ever heard of that actually being a thing (and yes, I am married to a man). Because as a woman, why and how should I know?
Load More Replies...Comunication. If something bothers you, tell her/him calmly. And how to clean. Turns out you should wash your cleaning cloths one a couple of weeks
Some of these are embarrassingly simple. Women can't talk about enjoying sex without being harassed, because women are always harassed
I wish I could have read this article in 1975. Would have helped a lot, in the following thousand years that my marriage lasted.
This is a bunch of stereotypical tidbits from men. What I have learned about men? They generalize women.
I agree Cleshawn. A better title probably would have been "40 things men didn't know about their PARTNER until they got into a relationship".
Load More Replies...I’m thinking that men who actually want a partner in life should read this in it’s entirety.
Please help with house work. You both live there. And yes, just a hug or back massage without expecting something in return.
Not help though - do their share. Helping implies that someone is in charge/have responsibility. Housework should be shared.
Load More Replies...Why is it in all of these posts about men learning things about women, or the publicized stupidity of some of the men out there (especially on the topic of women), you just see a ton of comments that group men as a whole being stupid, overly sexual, rude, needy, etc.? I get that, yes, men suck (and I agree with a lot of those opinions), really because too many guys can't keep their thoughts INSIDE of their head, but it doesn't need to spill out to men as a whole. Because of all of this, and my life experiences, I'm genuinely averse to being a male myself. For all of the issues about so many men that women bring up, I totally agree, but the small amount of men who do or say bad things publicly, do not need to be cast over all, not even the majority, of men. To those woman who have been kind and courteous, encouraging even, about the men who have learned things in these posts, thank you. The world needs more women like you.
This is one I have to laugh at now; I happened to see myself go into a hot flash while washing my hands in the bathroom. I walked into the living room and told my husband (seriously, it's kinda creepy to see yourself just flush red out of nowhere). His response? "Cool! Can you do it on command?" No. No, I cannot. If I could control it, it wouldn't happen AT ALL. We still make jokes about it, actually...
A: Am I the only woman left on earth who doesn't have massive issues with her period? I'm 42 with 3 kids and I've never really noticed anything but the mess. B: Copper IUD. Look into it. There are no hormones, it lasts over 10 years. Fertility returns almost instantly after you remove it. And again, I don't even notice it most of the time. I believe that it's suppressed because they can't make a lot of money from something that only needs attention every decade or so.
Who hurt you David? I just don't even have the energy to address all the things wrong with your comments. BTW, I'm a dude too.
Load More Replies...I learned that thedifferent pad sizes are for how heavy the flow is. not pussy size.
Why the downvotes? It's a perfectly acceptable thing for men not to know? Hey, only last week my father told me that if men get a tailored suit (at an upscale joint, anyway), they will get asked on what side they "wear it" as it apparently influences the measurements of the clothes. I'm 35, and I had never ever heard of that actually being a thing (and yes, I am married to a man). Because as a woman, why and how should I know?
Load More Replies...Comunication. If something bothers you, tell her/him calmly. And how to clean. Turns out you should wash your cleaning cloths one a couple of weeks
Some of these are embarrassingly simple. Women can't talk about enjoying sex without being harassed, because women are always harassed
I wish I could have read this article in 1975. Would have helped a lot, in the following thousand years that my marriage lasted.
This is a bunch of stereotypical tidbits from men. What I have learned about men? They generalize women.
I agree Cleshawn. A better title probably would have been "40 things men didn't know about their PARTNER until they got into a relationship".
Load More Replies...I’m thinking that men who actually want a partner in life should read this in it’s entirety.
Please help with house work. You both live there. And yes, just a hug or back massage without expecting something in return.
Not help though - do their share. Helping implies that someone is in charge/have responsibility. Housework should be shared.
Load More Replies...Why is it in all of these posts about men learning things about women, or the publicized stupidity of some of the men out there (especially on the topic of women), you just see a ton of comments that group men as a whole being stupid, overly sexual, rude, needy, etc.? I get that, yes, men suck (and I agree with a lot of those opinions), really because too many guys can't keep their thoughts INSIDE of their head, but it doesn't need to spill out to men as a whole. Because of all of this, and my life experiences, I'm genuinely averse to being a male myself. For all of the issues about so many men that women bring up, I totally agree, but the small amount of men who do or say bad things publicly, do not need to be cast over all, not even the majority, of men. To those woman who have been kind and courteous, encouraging even, about the men who have learned things in these posts, thank you. The world needs more women like you.
This is one I have to laugh at now; I happened to see myself go into a hot flash while washing my hands in the bathroom. I walked into the living room and told my husband (seriously, it's kinda creepy to see yourself just flush red out of nowhere). His response? "Cool! Can you do it on command?" No. No, I cannot. If I could control it, it wouldn't happen AT ALL. We still make jokes about it, actually...
A: Am I the only woman left on earth who doesn't have massive issues with her period? I'm 42 with 3 kids and I've never really noticed anything but the mess. B: Copper IUD. Look into it. There are no hormones, it lasts over 10 years. Fertility returns almost instantly after you remove it. And again, I don't even notice it most of the time. I believe that it's suppressed because they can't make a lot of money from something that only needs attention every decade or so.
Who hurt you David? I just don't even have the energy to address all the things wrong with your comments. BTW, I'm a dude too.
Load More Replies...