35 People Share What Things Keep Making Them Feel Nervous, No Matter How Many Times They’ve Done It
In 2018, Twitter user M. Molly Backes used the term "an impossible task" to describe how it feels when a seemingly mundane thing becomes overwhelming, no matter how simple it should theoretically be.
3 days ago, Redditor u/WinstonChurchillin decided to revisit this idea with a new spin. In a post on r/AskReddit, they asked, "What makes you nervous no matter how many times you do it?" And it went viral. Turns out, impossible tasks are pretty universal!
From walking behind a woman on a quiet street to going on job interviews, here are some of the most popular answers.
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When my boss goes 'can we just have a quick chat?'
Dr. Tamar Chansky, who is a licensed psychologist and the Founder of the Children's and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA, told Bored Panda that anxiety is a universal human experience. "We all have the capacity to feel fear, stress, and anxiety, and we all do," Dr. Chansky said.
But the source of these emotions can vary from person to person. "Individual differences come up with our thresholds for anxiety and also for the content of anxiety. A person stresses about interpersonal relationships but may have no fear about rock climbing or bungee jumping. Another may have no trouble swimming in the middle of the ocean, but gets stressed about deadlines or jumps at a spider," the psychologist explained.
Walking out of a store without buying anything!
At some stores when you buy nothing you still need to actually go through one of the check outs to get out the exit door!
Driving in between two semi trucks on the freeway. Bonus points if one or both is carrying a bunch of logs.
The author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety said, "Genetics plays a part in setting our anxiety thresholds as to what we react to and how strongly, but our experiences can as well."
Someone who has lived in protracted stressful situations can become much more reactive to even minor stressful situations. "People who have survived traumatic experiences and the like, their nervous system is primed for threat, and reminders of the traumatic event or other stressful situations can trigger what feels like uncontrollable anxious reactions — before they can even think or realize what is happening," Dr. Chansky said.
"Fortunately, anxiety disorders are the most treatable psychiatric condition, so please talk to your doctor, or find resources and information, including on my website TamarChansky.com and adaa.org."
At meetings when they say, “Ok, everyone, let’s go around the room and introduce yourself.” Even worse when they require stupid things like, “Include your favorite food and why you like it” or “Tell us why you’re here.” Uhhh…because it’s mandatory?
Trying to mingle/start conversations in social settings where I don't know anybody.
However, if you relate to the people on this list and also freak out in everyday situations, don't beat yourself up over it. "While we might think that we can get used to things that make us anxious — and we can, and we do — that's not necessarily how it always happens," Dr. Chansky highlighted. "There is a 'sweet spot' for overcoming anxiety. The anxiety level has to be not too high (or too low) and then we can learn to see that the situation is manageable and control our reactions, actually 'right size' them and bring that experience into our comfort zone."
The psychologist suggests thinking about it like this: if a person who is afraid of dogs is exposed over and over again to a big, loud dog, they are going to get more and more anxious with each confrontation. But on the other hand, if they are exposed to a little dog, or even a sleeping dog (maybe even pictures of dogs), their nervous system will learn, through experience, that they are safe and won't have a disproportionate reaction. Eventually, the category of 'dog' will change in their mind through gradual exposure and the fear will diminish.
But sometimes our inner demons can get the best of us. Especially now. In a review of 215 studies exploring the ways Covid-19 affects the brain and mental health, the researchers found very high numbers of patients reporting symptoms of mental health issues like depression (23%) and anxiety (16%). "Even though it's expected, anxiety has spiked in the pandemic," Dr. Chansky added. If you feel like you can't manage, please seek help and support. You can start by learning new strategies for managing worry and anxiety, and can find them here.
Drive in front of a police officer when I have no reason to be nervous.
Standing up for myself. Not sure if it's how I was raised or lingering PTSD from a violent childhood event or whatever but my adrenaline immediately spikes expecting a confrontation, even when just politely asking someone not to speak me in a certain tone or whatever.
Every damn time
Answering the door. Sometimes I just don’t.
its a millenial/gen z thing. most of my friends whatsapp me to say they're outside instead of knocking. tf
I don't think it's generational. It's all introverts.
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Same! My door bell is actually broken right now and we're in no rush to fix it.
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I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting someone. Just because you found a button on the front of my house that makes a noise inside or decided to knock doesn't give you access to me. Especially in the middle of a pandemic.
Still to this day, we normally never have company, but when there’s a knock on the door I freeze up , I guess assuming it’s bad news
Doorbell cams or CCTV are worth having if possible. Easy to see if it's someone you want to speak to or a delivery you need to deal with - the rest can be avoided!
I 100% agree. I have both and love them. It has helped with my anxiety. I don't even have to answer the door anymore. I can just talk to them through my doorbell. Strange noise at night? I can check our cameras to just find out it was a stray cat or raccoon.
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I get nervous answering the door when my Father isn’t home. You know. Creeps
The Men At Work song, Who Can It Be Now?, always plays in my mind when that happens!
Who can it be knocking at my door? Go 'way, don't come 'round here no more Can't you see that it's late at night? I'm very tired and I'm not feeling right All I wish is to be alone Stay away, don't you invade my home Best off if you hang outside Don't come in, I'll only run and hide....
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I am an introvert and I don't enjoy opening the door for random people. What is worse for me is I am not a clean freak. I'm not comfortable having anyone come over without having time to clean up. We have two dogs and two cats there is hair collecting all the time. I like to work on little projects in the living room and my "mess" would make me crazy if you came in and saw it. I don't care how your house looks it never bothers me. I have friends that are just like me but don't care who sees it.
I got a doorbell camera , I never answer the door if it's somebody I don't know. I love it !
I’ve reached a point in my life where I have realized that …. You really don’t have to answer the door and … you definitely don’t have to answer the phone! It’s your life and your time … if you don’t want my time interrupted … then don’t answer! Now, of course, if you are expecting them … then you probably should answer and let them in.🥴
True horror story here, when I was a baby, my mom would drop me off at my grandparents most of the week because of work. And so I usually stayed at my grandparents at night to make it easier for well, everyone, and at like 1 in the morning, my mom (when I am at my grandparents) would hear this super loud pounding on the door pretty much nightly. It got to be too much so when she told dad, he got his nightshift off, and he invited his closest friend that he's had since kindergarden. But it didnt happen that night because there were extra cars parked in the driveway. We ended up moving a couple years later after super weird and suspicious things kept happening like circles of footprints in the snow around the car, and crying on the baby monitor when I wasnt home.
Sometimes I just don’t?.. sometimes,… when I’m not working or expecting someone, I never answer the door
It's kind of an invasion of our private spaces. Extra bad if we live in urban hellholes where we don't actually have any real separation from the spaces of others. Then again, it's also weird when this happens in a rural area and the person has had to walk up your driveway to get to your door in the first place. But still, there's way more of this in urban places. People in pyramid scheme jobs knocking on doors. Religious nuts. Salespeople. LEAVE ME ALONE WITH YOUR NONSENSE.
I have a door bell, by which I mean a REAL BELL - if you want me to come to the door you have to pull the rope and ring the bell. Loudly. Because I also might be somewhere outside in the garden. I have found that this is not very encouraging for people who come with some kind of shady business... And don't worry, if I expect somebody in 99,9% of the cases you need not ring as I already saw/heard you coming...
Most of the time, it's the "religious salesmen". Well, not so much since corona nowadays, and it happens less in some neighbourhoods than others. Either way, I don't miss them. Okay, some of them will just hand you out pamphlets, but damn can they be invasive, to a literally frightening point when it feels like they're threatening you in a friendly way.
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Walking over a storm drain with my keys in my hand
Just walking over it period, always think with my luck I’ll fall right through
Approaching a green light that has been green too long but you are getting to the distance where you don't know whether or not you should stop or if you can stop
Surprise guests.
Merging onto a busy highway
Oh, I hate that, I really do! Even I try to keep calm now I'm in the sixth decade of my life
When my someone says to me "can I be honest with you?"
No, lie to me, please!
I have responded "no" to this before. Boundaries are good. Sometimes I don't have the energy for someone's honesty at the moments. Maybe later. But in that exact moment, no. I've even followed up with, "Please lie to me." It's a great sentence to lighten the mood and people will tone down their brutal honesty.
Using an (I think) aluminum measuring tape but especially when clicking the button to make it roll back into its case. At the speed it recoils, I’m scared the tape will slice my hand right open.
If you're nervous, know you can always help feed it back in. If you hold onto the tape with your other hand, you can slow it down considerably.
Finding a tick on my body....
Calling someone on the phone. I'm a fairly outgoing person and I love talking to people, but I rely a lot on seeing a person's face and observing their body language, which isn't possible on the phone. Voicemails are less terrible, but I still panic a little because if I mess up while leaving a message, the other person has a freaking recording of me being really awkward. I'm so thankful texting exists.
Public speaking
I have learned that when you first confess to the people that you are nervous, you have won them over a bit and they will laugh or smile and help you get over your fears!
The dentist, no matter how many times I go there it's always stressful
Starting a new job, because I can't stand the first few weeks where I don't know what I'm doing. But I love walking into a job after 6 months or so when I might as well own the place cause they can't operate without me!
Going into small businesses that I haven't been in before
It sucks because you'll get the "may I help you sir?", you'll say "just browsing", then you might not find anything to buy and feel ashamed for walking out empty handed!
Climbing a ladder
Climbing the ladder to stand on the roof is the easy part! Getting back on the ladder backwards and coming down without killing yourself is the terrifying part!
Cutting my infants fingernails.
Omg yes, I accidentally clipped my daughters finger when she was a baby coz she moved just as I went to clip the nail. I cried more than she did coz I felt so awful.
Coming face to face with people in my apartment building. After being in lockdown and working from home I’ve become covid stupid. I’m not able to even get out a hello.
Flirt, ask someone out.
You see someone you like, you meet, start talking, you build an interest in the person, start interpreting the small signals, build up your courage, ask him/her out and they say no... The mental stake is high, and you lost. It will take a while to rebuild your bank. Of course it's scary!
Going to local bars when I’m not a local lol. Those mfs can like smell you’re not from there even if you live the town over. They all stare at you like you’re an outside who needs to leave. So strange.
That's why I LOVE big cities. Anonymity wherever you go. And if you make a fool of yourself at the bar 1) it's unlikely anyone will remember & 2) if it was really that bad, there's 100 more bars within walking distance. Try one of those instead.
There's an open ocean swim i do with a friend. I love swimming, in pools and lakes... but ocean is different. This is in Canada, in a wetsuit. Its 1.8 km, and no bottom in site - just black. I know seals follow us because friends have told me. The first time we went he commented that I was fast, I'm not fast, it's pure adreniline. I am motivated by pure fear. I won't do it by myself, and have only done it about 10 times. I am terrified every time. Lots of self-talk and I always feel great afterwards.
You did it "only" 10 times? That was very brave, but why doing it at all?
Any kind of needles. Coming from a person who has several piercings and big tattoos. I get super nervous for vaccinations too.
Taking my cat to the vet. That stresses me out. Between the 30 minute wrestling match to get her into the case, followed by the nonstop screaming, then her chewing on the bars and trying to rip the door open, the throwing up from motion sickness in the car, the vet overcharging me for some tiny procedure, followed by the "your cat needs 8000 teeth extracted" or she needs the "Kangaroo Vaccine incase she is kidnapped to Australia" ... please bring her back in tomorrow so we can do this.
The CEO at my company used to occasionally take employees out to lunch. He’s a really cool guy but I am really introverted and it was excruciating trying to act like I have a great personality and have ambitions and drive.
Sticking my hand inside the disposal when I drop a fork In it.
I’ve seen people telling me to unplug the disposal, how does one do that?
the disposol is usually plugged into an electrical receptacle under the sink - a required disconnecting means to satisfy electrical requirements in the US.
Going through the car wash. Ever since I was kid, I’ve been scared the brushed Will destroy my windshield and then me.
Getting air blown on my eye at the optometrist
Handling my six month old. They just seem so fragile and he is just so wiggly, I am constantly paranoid that I may accidentally drop him.
To be honest almost all the steps of parenting now that I think about it, if I’m not afraid of accidentally bumping him, I am constantly worrying about what I need to do to be a good parent to him.
Wearing a bikini in public
Opening a can of pillsbury dough
😂, I thought it was just me, the anxiety building up not knowing when it’ll pop
Putting my luggage in the overhead storage on a plane. Major anxiety like what if I’m the last person on the plane and have to run around and look for a place to put my luggage
Driving over train tracks and bridges. It just scares me so much and I have to cross bridges and train tracks to get to some places so that doesn’t help. Walking on them also scare me. Since I was 5 it always scared me. I don’t know why it just does.
Answering the phone at work. Work is at a psych hospital so calls range from someone who’s psychotic, someone who’s sad and just wants to talk, or someone who’s seconds from suicide. The anxiety is high
Discussing something I am well educated or very knowledgeable about The pressure some people put on you to know everything about that topic gets me
Well, try beginning the sentences with something "As far as I know..." or "I'm not an expert, but I do know...", "I love this subject but I don't know everything..."; so you give yourself some slack. If you are kind to yourself, others will be to you too. Good luck, relax and enjoy those conversations... you got this!
Walking in front of people, like in a crowd or something. I get so nervous.
I am always super paranoid that I forgot to lock the front door of my work. I've even gotten off of the train and gone back just to make sure it's locked - it always has been when I've gone back to check and I should trust myself that I did it at this point. I now yell at myself as I'm doing it so I hear confirmation of it, too before I step away.
My mom was always really paranoid about this, too (she would make us go back a couple mins into road trips) so I guess it really rubbed off.
There is a simple solution to that. Put a small stone, a marble or a coin in your left pocket. When you lock the door, put it in your right pocket. After that you can always check you did it right by finding the item in the right pocket.
I've been teaching for over 10 years, but I always have nightmares the week leading up to the first day of school.
Going to to work after the weekend. For whatever reason it always makes me anxious.
Anything that has to do with my car. I have been scammed even over a simple oil change.
even if I try to be confident, it's very clear once I start talking that I have no clue about cars. Literally had someone quote $400 to change an air filter. I said no because I could not afford it.... found out later how insane that quote was. Sadly that just fueled my fear.
As a woman, I am wary of being ripped off by mechanics. The good news is that you can always ask for an estimate, and google exists now. Learning about the parts of your car and how they function is a good line of defense against scammers.
For context I routinely work with 460volts at about 40 amps.
Turning it all on for the first time. So many times I have done this. I have trained people how to do it. I have never once done it where had I not done it right I could have been injured. Yet still every time I almost hear a voice "this is it. This is the moment in the video, shown by insurance companies for safety training, where it starts playing. All that comes next is pain and blackness".
I know it is absurd. I pull tested the wires. I made sure that I have a power sequencing plan. I know the SCCR. It won't explode because there literally is not enough energy to explode and even if it did the cabinet would protect me.
Using a mandoline slicer.
Even using the safety guard I get a little queasy when I have to use it.
I've been playing guitar for 35 years. I play in cover and tribute bands, and every time we perform I am pretty nervous for at least the first couple of songs. I always ask myself why I am doing this?! When it's over I'm super excited and can't wait to play again.
Waiting for a result. If I even think about an exam for which the results haven't been declared, I get a LOT of anxiety. Currently waiting for the results of a very important exam I gave in Feb.
My heart rate is 120 while writing this. And now I have stomachache. Fml.
Mom is just the same. Apparently for her it works just talking to someone saying how nervous she is.
When a stranger hands me a baby I feel like having a panic attack and needing a smoke to calm down after.
Why would a stranger just hand their baby over to another stranger?
Going through airport security!! Omg do I have heroin in my bag (never even seen heroin in my entire life)
Talk about customs when you're an international student.
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...training course or whatever and "psychodrama" comes up. I actually left a work sponsored "retreat" over that. Retreat my skinny ass. Work sponsored anxiety is what it was.
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Ending a phone conversation with a casual acquaintance. There seems to be about 2 minutes of awkward platitudes between finishing the actual conversation and ending the call. Both of us will run through this entire list in random order: "Alright, take care, I appreciate it, no problem, have a good day, enjoy your weekend, let me know if you need anything else, thank you, happy to help, take it easy, have a good one, speak soon, no THANK YOU, any time, talk to you later, see you tomorrow, OK THANKS! BYE! LATER! SEE YA! ALRIGHT BUH BYE!" Then I'll pull the phone away from my ear and I hear the faint sound of "Enjoy your lunch!" as my thumb is ending the call, and I just know they must think I'm a horribly rude person at that point.
Having to tell someone at work they did something wrong. Afterwards, I don't mind explaining why it is wrong, and working with the person until they get it right and confident.
I'm most nervous around children, babies in particular. When family or friends get together and there's a baby among them, i'd rather leave... quietly out the back door, and drive to a hotel in the next town and turn off my phone. maybe use an alias and a rental and pay in cash everywhere i go with a hoodie and sunglasses on.
In my country you do have to be nervous if you pull in front of a cop. Someone in my city was executed for it just a few months ago. Cop said he saw the person "waving a gun around" inside the car (in the dark, at night, sure buddy) and opened fire. Killed the passenger too.
What in the hell did I just read?!? Are you serious?!?!
Load More Replies... For me it's driving (just generally) these days. It wasn't always the case, I consider myself to be a very good driver and I used to be really confident behind the wheel. But over the last few years the amount of times I have had to slam on because someone has stepped into the road without paying attention or another vehicle has cut me up is maddening. Just this last week I've had a cyclist shoot out from behind a wall onto the road and force me to screech to a halt AND also had someone reverse towards my car in a car park clearly oblivious to my car being there and only missed me by inches. Just feels like when I'm behind the wheel these days I have to be so hyper aware of everything going on that I can't enjoy simply driving anymore.
Going into any public area by yourself. I'm an introvert but there are limits
I hate when I have to fart and cant excuse myself, but its causing stomach pain so I break wind, ever so daintily , and its an eye watering, room clearing demon sent forth from the decrepit hell of my innards.
Biding a job. I need the money, but if I ask for too little, I don't make any money.
Buying alcohol or cigarettes and getting ID'd bc I look so different now.....and...even though I know I have money in my account, having someone say "your card was declined".
Oh the horrible pause before the card goes through always frightens me even though I know there's money in there!
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Driving a rental car every time. It’s like I had just passed my driving exam the day before!
At my old job they knew I was in constant fear of losing my job for whatever reason. (I was the breadwinner in my household and my husband, who was a line cook, was forever switching jobs or getting let go - exec chefs have short tempers.) Anyway, anytime one of my bosses called for me to come to their offices it would go like this... "Elizabeth, can you come in for a moment? And NO, you're not getting fired." It became a running joke.
They have pills now that apparently make your penis grow
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Sitting in the back part of an articulated bus. For some reason it just feels dangerous that there is an extra part to the bus and it feels like it will swing too far
the back part of a bus is dangerous- for cyclists
Load More Replies... Going through airport security!! Omg do I have heroin in my bag (never even seen heroin in my entire life)
Talk about customs when you're an international student.
Load More Replies... ...training course or whatever and "psychodrama" comes up. I actually left a work sponsored "retreat" over that. Retreat my skinny ass. Work sponsored anxiety is what it was.
Load More Replies... Ending a phone conversation with a casual acquaintance. There seems to be about 2 minutes of awkward platitudes between finishing the actual conversation and ending the call. Both of us will run through this entire list in random order: "Alright, take care, I appreciate it, no problem, have a good day, enjoy your weekend, let me know if you need anything else, thank you, happy to help, take it easy, have a good one, speak soon, no THANK YOU, any time, talk to you later, see you tomorrow, OK THANKS! BYE! LATER! SEE YA! ALRIGHT BUH BYE!" Then I'll pull the phone away from my ear and I hear the faint sound of "Enjoy your lunch!" as my thumb is ending the call, and I just know they must think I'm a horribly rude person at that point.
Having to tell someone at work they did something wrong. Afterwards, I don't mind explaining why it is wrong, and working with the person until they get it right and confident.
I'm most nervous around children, babies in particular. When family or friends get together and there's a baby among them, i'd rather leave... quietly out the back door, and drive to a hotel in the next town and turn off my phone. maybe use an alias and a rental and pay in cash everywhere i go with a hoodie and sunglasses on.
In my country you do have to be nervous if you pull in front of a cop. Someone in my city was executed for it just a few months ago. Cop said he saw the person "waving a gun around" inside the car (in the dark, at night, sure buddy) and opened fire. Killed the passenger too.
What in the hell did I just read?!? Are you serious?!?!
Load More Replies... For me it's driving (just generally) these days. It wasn't always the case, I consider myself to be a very good driver and I used to be really confident behind the wheel. But over the last few years the amount of times I have had to slam on because someone has stepped into the road without paying attention or another vehicle has cut me up is maddening. Just this last week I've had a cyclist shoot out from behind a wall onto the road and force me to screech to a halt AND also had someone reverse towards my car in a car park clearly oblivious to my car being there and only missed me by inches. Just feels like when I'm behind the wheel these days I have to be so hyper aware of everything going on that I can't enjoy simply driving anymore.
Going into any public area by yourself. I'm an introvert but there are limits
I hate when I have to fart and cant excuse myself, but its causing stomach pain so I break wind, ever so daintily , and its an eye watering, room clearing demon sent forth from the decrepit hell of my innards.
Biding a job. I need the money, but if I ask for too little, I don't make any money.
Buying alcohol or cigarettes and getting ID'd bc I look so different now.....and...even though I know I have money in my account, having someone say "your card was declined".
Oh the horrible pause before the card goes through always frightens me even though I know there's money in there!
Load More Replies... Driving a rental car every time. It’s like I had just passed my driving exam the day before!
At my old job they knew I was in constant fear of losing my job for whatever reason. (I was the breadwinner in my household and my husband, who was a line cook, was forever switching jobs or getting let go - exec chefs have short tempers.) Anyway, anytime one of my bosses called for me to come to their offices it would go like this... "Elizabeth, can you come in for a moment? And NO, you're not getting fired." It became a running joke.
They have pills now that apparently make your penis grow
Load More Replies... Sitting in the back part of an articulated bus. For some reason it just feels dangerous that there is an extra part to the bus and it feels like it will swing too far
the back part of a bus is dangerous- for cyclists
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