Cohabitation has increased by nearly 900 percent over the last 50 years and has become the ultimate test drive for couples before walking down the aisle. However, moving in together comes with its fair share of revelations. Mostly, about your partner. Living in the same space may expose some of their pet peeves, ones that were impossible to spot just by spending a few evenings together each week. Or the two of you can defy all the non-believers and you might discover you love cuddling after waking up even if you're not a morning person.

Interested in how people are handling this relationship milestone, Redditor CrumbleNewman asked other users: "Couples who have moved in together, what surprised you most about living with a male/female?" And everyone quickly jumped to the comments. As of this article, the post has 22.5K comments to go along with its 55K upvotes.

Continue scrolling to check out some of the answers and the chat I had about cohabitation with dating coach and 2-million-views TEDx speaker, Hayley Quinn.

#1

Me and my fiancé moved in together about a year before she passed away in a car accident and the one thing I can truly remember being surprised about is how much more open we were with each other about anything. I have OCD and she never got to see how bad my panic attack could be until we moved in. She was so scared the first time that she called my Momma who I Love dearly and has always been my source and strength even today, and asked how she could help me. Having OCD sometimes you may feel something bad can happen if you tell what you are obsessing about. To this day I don't know what my mom told her but Momma then Kayla could always tell when an obsession was building and she got great about quelling the problem before it began. Spending all that time with her now we were moved in helped me become most aware and attuned to her needs and desires as a woman. I knew what upset her even if she didn't tell me. And all the little taboos when you first enter a relationship such as bathroom habits and personal problems became a thing of the past. It got to a point where I could talk to her about anything and everything. It's been almost 7 years since I lost her and I haven't had a relationship since her. I still mourn for her. I love you baby.

MrJones224822 Report

Kristy Nelson
Community Member
11 months ago

I am so sorry.

View more comments

Quinn, who empowers men and women to enjoy a more fulfilling dating life, with live coaching, hands-on tutorials and guidance for any age or sexual orientation, told Bored Panda that moving in with someone begins with getting the timing right. "If you've had a whirlwind romance of a few months, then avoid taking the plunge of moving in together quickly," Quinn advised. "This has actually been a huge dating trend during Covid 19, recent research from Match calls this dating trend 'turbocharging' where couples have accelerated moving in together, to avoid being separated by local lockdowns. Either way, whilst it's easy to get carried away with the honeymoon phase of a relationship, this is not a good indicator of whether your love will work in the long run."

Conversely, Quinn highlighted that "if you've been dating someone for a couple of years and they're still dragging their feet over moving in together, then this could also indicate that they have issues with commitment. If someone is wary of committing, take note of this and remember you shouldn't ever have to arm-twist anyone into this next important milestone."

#2

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together What an absolute master chef he is! I thought I was a great cook until we moved in together and he started making meals. Blew my f**king mind!

Now I think back to when we first started dating and he would eat my cooking and say it was the best he'd ever had, the little liar. Brings a smile to my face!

SuperSailorSera , Kevin McCutcheon Report

Carmen Sandiego
Community Member
11 months ago

Aww!

View more comments
#3

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together I learned about just how good she looks first thing in the morning light, when she makes her toast, leans against the counter, and just crunches into it...also, how she can fill up an entire room with farts.

now_we_return , unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Auntriarch
Community Member
11 months ago

Had no idea my husband is on Bored Panda til now

View More Replies...
View more comments

It's a delicate balance, but the dating coach thinks people should look to move in together when they've already had a good enough amount of time to get to know one another and have road-tested plenty of long weekends at each other's houses, and holidays away together. "If you're finding that you're spending more time together than apart, feel really relaxed in each other's company, and the honeymoon phase is a distant memory, now could be the right time to take that next step."

However, does sharing the bills and a bed without getting married heighten the risk for divorce if the couple chooses to spend the rest of their lives together? According to a 2014 study from the nonpartisan Council on Contemporary Families, the short answer is no — moving in will not automatically make you a divorce statistic in the future. But choosing a partner too early might.

#4

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together Well this is obviously for straight people but I’ll answer anyways. Being part of a same sex couple of similar size means your wardrobes kinda morph into one.

“Are you wearing my boxers?!”

“Yeah but you’re wearing my favorite jeans right now so...”

brohio_ Report

Steph Harrison
Community Member
11 months ago

Straight relationship here, we had exactly the same (just minus the underwear sharing).

View More Replies...
View more comments
#5

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together Apparently my cat — who I raised since she was a kitten and loved more than life itself — is more than willing to abandon me and love someone else far more in the blink of an eye.

_banana_panda_ , flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Eva the Egg
Community Member
11 months ago

Thats cats for you

View more comments

Arielle Kuperberg was a graduate student at the University of Pennsylvania when she noticed something interesting in her sociology textbooks. Reading on marriage longevity, Kuperberg observed that the age a couple said 'I do' was among the strongest predictors of divorce. All of the literature made it super clear: the reason people who married younger were more likely to divorce was that they were not mature enough to pick appropriate partners.

She told The Atlantic that was precisely when a lightbulb went off in her head. If younger married couples were more likely to divorce, did that mean that couples who moved in together at earlier ages were also at increased risk for broken marriages?

Using data from the U.S. government's 1995, 2002, and 2006 National Surveys of Family and Growth, Kuperberg analyzed over 7,000 individuals who had been married. Some of the people she looked at were still with their spouse. Others were divorced. She looked at how old each individual was when they made their first major commitment to a partner—whether that step was marriage or cohabitation.

Kuperberg found that the longer couples waited to make that first serious commitment, the better their chances for marital success were. The research revealed that at 23—the age when many people graduate from college, settle into adult life and begin becoming financially independent—the correlation with divorce dramatically drops off. The study showed that individuals who committed to cohabitation or marriage at the age of 18 saw a 60 percent rate of divorce, whereas individuals who waited until 23 saw that number drop to around 30 percent.

#6

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together It's actually really hard to effectively shower with another person.

Being_grateful Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

yeah sex gets in the way

View More Replies...
View more comments
#7

Been together 8 years. Living together for 7. My girlfriend is tiny. So at the two year mark when the occasional poot noises started happening it made sense. Oh she's finally comfortable farting around me and because she's so small it's so tiny. Mine are man farts. Loud, poorly timed, and questionable damp. Throughout the years she has become more and more comfortable. The farts got longer, louder, and more frequent. These days at any given time she can let out what can only be described as a rectal battle cry. The kind that instills fear in an enemy and pure bloodthirst in an ally. She farts so loud and so violently. I assume her butthole speaks some ancient Nordic language long forgotten. Where in that tiny little body can so much gas be stored. Where was she sneaking these farts out early on? And why....why do they smell so f**king bad.

Bruzman101 Report

Leslie B
Community Member
11 months ago

I cracked up (no pun intended) at the rectal battle cry description.

View more comments

"Cohabitation is a great road test for marriage," Hayley Quinn said. "There's a big difference between enjoying the highlight reel of fancy dates, versus the access all areas pass you get into someone's life when you live together. Living together has the potential to turbocharge your intimacy levels: yes, you'll know more about your partner's toilet habits, but you also have the potential to feel emotionally much closer. Sharing in the responsibility of paying bills on time and keeping on top of the washing is also a great road test for the more practical elements of being married."

That being said, Quinn added that plenty of couples will cohabit with no intention of ever getting married. "For some, they may see marriage as outdated, whilst others may be pushed into cohabiting as it slashes your living costs compared to being at home. So don't assume that just because you've hit the living together milestone that it automatically means you're heading for the altar."

#8

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together I was told that we would start arguing and being miserable. It ended up feeling like a super awesome constant sleep over. Don't let people scare you into not moving in with a significant other if that is what you both want.

TheKindlyNarcissist , unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
11 months ago

I believe all couples should move in together before getting married, you learn so much about each other and their habits.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#9

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together After living with him for 4 years, I opened a drawer of "his" dresser... And it was empty. All of it. Apparently he thought it was my extra dresser.

He doesn't use a dresser. Clothes get washed and put into a "clean clothes" hamper. He puts socks and underwear in his bedside table.

Now I'm wondering what other furniture in our house is empty??

waineofark , flickr (not the actual photo) Report

beastmachine.
Community Member
11 months ago

Surprise surprise!!

View more comments
#10

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together I always knew women went through TP faster than men, but I never knew how much faster they did. It got to the point, I'd just grab a pack of TP whenever I went to the store for any reason. We may not be out at home, but we will be soon I reckoned, and I was never wrong about that.

NoahtheRed Report

Premislaus de Colo
Community Member
11 months ago

Father of two daughters here. I'm beginning to suspect they feed on that thing...

View More Replies...
View more comments
#11

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together How different our versions of ‘clean’ are.

wobbly_owl , flickr (not the actual photo)) Report

Håvard Hovde
Community Member
11 months ago

A classic! But it's worse for the one with the "higher standards" of clean, since it's not always possible for the more "messy" one to see that it's not "clean", which can cause frustration. Sincerely, the more "messy" one.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together That your partner may follow you around the house, just because.

Kikrokzz123 , pexels (not the actual photo) Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

yep . my wife puts away the utensils , as i cook , even if i'm still using it , into the dish washer they go

View More Replies...
View more comments
#13

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together How hard it is to get up in the morning when you have someone to snug

FavorsForAButton , pexels (not the actual photo)) Report

Joanne O'Brien
Community Member
11 months ago

How hard it is to get up in the morning at all

View More Replies...
View more comments
#14

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together She's good at playing tetris and very organized

I was living with my parents since I traveled for work and only made it home one or two weekends a month. she moved in with me at my parent's house, we had one room to store stuff; my bedroom. we bought things we'd need when we moved out when we saw a deal too good to pass up and she stored them

I realized she was good when we had to make 4 trips to get all our stuff out. 4 trips. this girl had boxes inside boxes inside boxes. she utilized every inch available in our room to stack items.

we just bought a house and still have some boxes left to unpack. I will call her at work and say something like "hey, do you remember that blue paper clip I like to use? I can't find it." she will tell me which room, which box, what container, and what is beside it, just in case I still can't find it.

becelav Report

Liv
Community Member
11 months ago

Oh that's fantastic

View more comments
#15

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together For me, how subtle the need for alone time crept up on me. I wasn't unhappy in the slightest and moving in was natural. But over time I felt myself becoming irritable and it turned out that I tend to get that way when I don't have time to myself, because I went from being alone in my room after work in my parent's house to being around my SO pretty much every minute I'm not at work or driving, so I found myself with someone almost 24/7, and it took a toll. Thankfully once I recognized that, it was easier to manage

OperativePiGuy , unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

got to have ME time , don't matter where , just take an hour or so to yourself , my wife goes away with our daughters to London or something once a year just so we have a long weekend break from each other , 32 years married so doing some thing right

View More Replies...
View more comments
#16

the amount of time you spend shouting "WHAAT?" from different rooms in the house.

johnnymac80 Report

Stephen Branley
Community Member
11 months ago

This drives me mad. My partner and her family all shout to each other across the house and I have to say "If you want to talk to each other GET UP AND MOVE TO THE OTHER ROOM!"

View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#17

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together If you and your partner are in different rooms one of them will randomly decide to just "check in" by opening the door, smile and then going back to their separate room.

riseupwithfists Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

last time i did that my wife was on the floor , collapsed , scared the s**t out of me , she was fine just over heated

View More Replies...
View more comments
#18

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together How specific I have to be when giving instructions to do something. Like instead of saying “wash the sheets” I have to say “wash and dry the sheets and pillowcases and put new sheets on the bed”

jwr410 Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

yeah us men need the details , we're not stupid , just very , very lazy

View More Replies...
View more comments
#19

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together I once pulled Chewbacca out of the bathroom sink.

brownlawn , flickr (not the actual photo) Report

B-b-bird
Community Member
11 months ago

once i left unintentionally my clump of hair by the sink (mind my hair is thick, therefore i shed like a dog). next thing i heard was unbelievable scare scream from the bathroom... uncle found it.... i didn't dare to ask what he thought it was :D

View More Replies...
View more comments
#20

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together The audacity.

No but real answer is how LOUD he needs things to be. Every song/movie/whatever has to be heard from three rooms over.

wonderlandwalking Report

Ozacoter
Community Member
11 months ago

Same here. I always put it the lowest possible and he loves it super loud. I dont like it but i realised that its because i can always add subtitles if the audio isnt clean but he is dislexic so he needs louder audio. I wish that movies were like videogames and you had the option of lowering the music without lowering the conversations

View More Replies...
View more comments
#21

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together Learning that there’s a wrong way to fold towels apparently

math9958 , flickr (not the actual photo) Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

looks like an elephant

View More Replies...
View more comments
#22

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together I had exactly two pillows in my entire house before my (now) wife moved in. She has four just on her side of the bed. There are pillows on the couch. Every chair has a pillow. We have a closet where the top shelf is more pillows.

So many f**king pillows.

TheFire_Eagle , unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Couch potato
Community Member
11 months ago

I see nothing wrong with wanting to be comfy :)

View more comments
#23

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together Definitely the food, I’d eat ramen and canned foods all the time when I was living alone. Now I get spoiled with home cooked food. the best part though is she’s been teaching me to cook, I love our cooking school sessions after work.

ToInfinityandBirds Report

I I
Community Member
11 months ago

i love to cook , my wife loves my cooking

View More Replies...
View more comments
#24

Those hat things girls make with towels after a shower....their hair goes in the middle of it.....who knew?

LithiumGrease Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
11 months ago

You mean towel “turbans”? They get our hair out of the way so we can dry our bodies without our hair dripping on us. They also kind of pre-dry our hair a bit before we actively dry it.

View more comments
#25

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together My wife has really long beautiful hair. I was not prepared to find that all in my butt and crotch regions as often as I do. I could never be prepared to have one stuck in my a*s and have to pull it out like some mangy dog. I've never felt more violated or unclean than when I FELT those hairs basically floss my lower GI tract. Somehow I swallowed a few and passing them is a really disgusting feeling. She has told me that hasn't happened to her too which makes it weirder.

DrDisastor , unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Auntriarch
Community Member
11 months ago

Also it really confuses the dog

View more comments
#26

He thinks it's weird that I give any house spiders a Hispanic sounding name.

So far I've used Hector, Ernesto, Ignacio... They've become my buddies. If they stay in their corners and leave me alone of course.

ShadowCory1101 Report

Caiman 94920
Community Member
11 months ago

While staying with a local family in Peru, my friends and I named a huge cockroach Ramon. He was chunky and when he walked on the wood floor, you could hear him coming. The family were shocked that we did this, but we felt he deserved a name.

View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#27

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together I thought if I ever moved in with a girl, I'd have to be way less of a slob. Turns out I'm the neat freak in this relationship.

ElToberino , unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Pearl
Community Member
11 months ago

Ha. You thought wrong!

View more comments
#28

How much I actually talk to myself.

I never had any roommates, aside from one for like the first two weeks in college before I got moved to a single room, so I was used to just talking to myself out loud like nothing. After we moved in together and she kept asking "Who are you talking to?" and "Did you say something?" I realized that I actually talk to myself quite a bit.

-eDgAR- Report

Mir Adwari
Community Member
11 months ago

Me too. Who said that?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#29

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together The true shock for me was the sheer amount of time my husband spends in the lavatory.

spindlemaker_magpie , pexels (not the actual photo) Report

tiari
Community Member
11 months ago (edited)

God, YES. Me too. What on earth is he doing in there? How long can it take to poop?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#30

30 Couples Share Things They Realized Only After Moving In Together Men are incredibly warm and sweaty while asleep, and will be sticky if they hug you as you sleep together.

Katzimir_Malevich , pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Brandy Grote
Community Member
11 months ago

Nice in the winter, agony in summer. Or menopause!

View More Replies...
View more comments

Note: this post originally had 60 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.