“The Cruelty Is Just So Shocking”: People Are Sharing 30 Times They Had To Deal With Mean Professors
Things that nobody tells you about uni life are that at some point, you grow tired of living off instant noodle pots, and that as soon as you become actual roommates with your BFF, all you liked about them turns into everything you hate. And this is just the beginning.
In classes, you meet fellow students, your crush, and the professors. That’s where it gets tricky, ‘cause some of ‘em truly inspire, support, and show you the side of knowledge that may change your life. But some are just so mean they verge on being evil, according to this Twitter thread.
The thread was started by Chris, a senior class president UNC-Chapel Hill, who took it to social media to share how his professor asked for proof of his grandmother’s death in order to excuse his absence from class. “Empathy goes a long way and some folks just don’t have it,” Chris said in a post amassing 194.1K likes.
His story resonated with many more students who shared their own experiences of dealing with questionable, and sometimes plain mean, behavior from professors. Let’s see what they shared right below.
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Bored Panda reached out to Twitter user Charlsie, @charlsiekate, who shared an incident with a professor she had in her freshman year of college. “I missed the class twice the entire semester, once because my grandfather died. I got a C in the class because the teacher said it was her policy to drop people a letter grade for each absence regardless of the reason,” Charlsie tweeted in the thread.
It turns out, Charlsie didn’t understand that missing the class was such a big deal until the semester was over. “It was an honors class with nine people in it and we actually never got any grades during the semester. The class was Western Civ before 1500 and we did a lot of ancient geography research projects and wrote papers, and the final was a big paper that we turned in the last day of class.”
However, according to the former student, the class “never received any of our class work back and graded until the final day, and then it was only a couple of things. The professor throughout the semester claimed she could not grade things in a timely manner because of vertigo.”
There's wifi in hospitals sure, but I cannot access the wifi through my brain while I'm unconscious....
Then the class finally received the grades, Charlsie got a C. “I was able to contest the grade through the honors program and the professor’s response was that I missed two classes and she dropped people a letter grade for every missed class. As a side note, no one in the class got an A, everyone else got a B, in a class where she had not graded any of our classroom.”
Charlsie did what she felt she had to and provided all the info, “because I definitely brought her the obit for my grandfather earlier in the semester—showing that I had to miss one class to attend my grandfather’s funeral in a town five hours away.”
The dean of the Honors program stepped in to tell the teacher that she had to change Charlsie’s grade. Since that, the only interaction Charlsie had with the teacher was during a meeting on changing her grade. “She told me I absolutely did not deserve the grade change and that she was only changing it because she was being forced to do so, not because I earned it,” the former student recounted.
That's just bad teaching. Arbitrary rules only teach you distrust and disrespect..
I admit it seems coldhearted, but how many times were they lied to before they got that way. Maybe never, but who knows?
When I was a TA in Grad School I only asked for proof if it was a BIG assignment or a final. You would be surprised how many Grandparents die around finals. My response would always be along the lines of "I am so sorry for your loss and let me know if you need anything else and take the time you need. Unfortunately due to department policy I need to either see a copy of a death announcement or something like the order of service from the funeral or memorial service. You dont need to show me ahead of time, but I need to have it when I submit your grade to the system after its been closed. Again, I know that sucks but we request it because I have to get an over-ride to add a grade late without penalty" (which was technically true, I did need a prof to over-ride) Something like that would cause 85% of students to go "Oh okay, actually I think I can get it in on time." and then never mention it again. The few students who HAD lost family members understood and the system worked out great.
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This is definitely university policy, as well as policy in most work places.... You can't just take three days off work and get bereavement pay without providing proof, why should you be allowed to reschedule course work without proof? Now, if that professor refused to make adjustments when given the proof, that's an issue
Yup. When I taught at a college, I was required to have an attendance policy in which more than 3 unexcused absences resulted in a decrease in the final grade. The only way I could excuse an absence was for an illness (doctor's note required) or a funeral (obituary required). I hated it.
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I'm not excusing his insensitive behavior, but to be honest, there are a lot of people that had their parents/grandparents/relatives die multiple times so as to have an excuse for something
We have to treat students equally. This is expected by students and by the administration. I don't think it's cruel to ask for a death certificate. Students lie all the time. People lie all the time. An airline will ask for it if you ask for a reduced rate. Your employer might ask for it if you ask for time off for bereavement. Why is it cruel?
I have never had to prove my parents had actually died when, admittedly at work, I required compassionate leave.
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Its the lying students who think you are a moron who drive you either to this or my response "I don't get paid enough to really care so as long as you turn everything in by the time grades are due and have shown up for most of the classes you pass".
That really sounds callous, but there are definitely people who would lie about their relative being dead to skip a day, so to prevent that I guess there are not many options other than asking for proof.
This also stems from the literal hordes on entitled lazy brats in college these days that regularly make up excuses to not attend class. That's not a license to be an asshole, but guaranteed you'd be jaded too.
It's not cruelty, students have been using the death of family members to get out of or postpone class/tests/assignments since the dawn of schools. Airlines make you show the death cert, too, if you're trying to get a bereavement rate on a ticket. There's just too many liars and scammers out there - blame them.
the reason for this is because so many people lie for this as an excuse. sounds cruel, but can hardly blame them
I've been a boss of an employee whose father died several times. When it was time for the third funeral in three years and I mentioned it to him he quit.
I am a shift manager at a small factory. I had an employee that had a very unfortunate 6 month stretch. All 4 grandparents, both parents, a step mom, 2 uncle's, and a brother. I wanted to ask for proof but HR had its policy.
I don't care if that professor has previously been lied to one or 100 times, when a student tells you their mother died, you do not ask to see a death certificate. It's morbid.
because most professors are on power trips, especially once they reach tenure. Tenure being when they have spent so much time teaching something they probably couldn't do in the real world that their education and experience is so out of date to be a joke. I prefer adjunct professors who actually have a continuing presence in the field they teach.
When it comes to professors' mean behavior, Charlsie believes that there’s some overall confusion that “that professors are supposed to be your friend or your mentor, but they aren’t your friend, and a lot of them see themselves more as your boss, as the gatekeeper.”
In addition, she said she had the feeling that this particular professor didn’t want to be at that state university, and “she hated the football team and the Greek life and the focus on sports and the nightlife.” Having said that, Charlsie doesn’t think that being a professor is “the cushy job it once was, and a lot of professors end up places they never imagined or wanted to be, and they take it out on their students.”
The former student also stressed out that the incident happened a long time ago and it was the worst professor experience she had in college. “Most of my professors were wonderful,” Charlsie said, remembering her freshman year.
seems like you know now why she teaches, and isn't really a therapist...
She waited to ask for "proof" in person because she knew it was wrong and didn't want to send her request via email. So messed up
Having spent over 20 years in Higher Education I can confirm that Universities are frequently a refuge for dysfunctional people who are mad, bad and dangerous to know. These people with their appalling social skills and behaviour wouldn’t survive for 5 minutes outside academia but are somehow tolerated nonetheless.
I really want to know at what lifepoint the teachers thought their behavior is appropriate. What went wrong in their life that they think it is okay to treat their students like that?
Un-f*****g-believable. What kind of monsters do we have teaching our young adults???
I had a student show up high as a kite for finals after getting hit by a bus and breaking his leg the day before. I sent him home and gave him an incomplete which meant he had next semester to make up the exam.
"here's a test for you, professor. If you are standing stationary at a distance of 1m from me, and my fist is travelling at 60km/h, how long until it collides with your face? You have 0.27 seconds"
Awful. And you didn't owe him SH*T, not explanations, not reasons, nothing. So sorry for your loss and the unfortunate @sshole.
I kinda hope that prof realized how much of a d**k move it was for him..
Not for everyone. I am a PhD now and my adviser though the process was like the lovechild of Santa and Dumbledore. Always kind understanding and willing to go the extra mile for students. We had a Turkish exchange student fall off the roof and break all his limbs and Bill walked him through all the medical billing s**t and applying for aid etc.
Note: this post originally had 55 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
So, I am chronically ill. I've spent about 80% of my life in the hospital. I have gastroparesis, and was in the hospital about a month ago. I still had Zoom classes and I had emailed my teacher at the beginning of the year that I am chronically ill, I vomit a lot, and I can't turn my camera on this year. She was cool with it, until I was in the hospital. I had told her about my situation. I got onto class and she got all pissy about my not turning my camera on. I again, reminded her. And she persisted. In frustration, I turn my camera on, ans she sees me: Oily hair, NG tube, multiple IVs, rail thin, puking my guts out. She then politely said I could turn my camera off. I hate teachers and I can't wait to be out of school.
I'm sorry to say that they are just as bad as a lot of people you will meet the rest of your life. Hope you find something that works for your illness and that you do meet the awesome people that are out there too. And fork her.
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It's funny my dad is a prof and he did the opposite of these stories. He'd joke in private about the amount of grandmas that died during midterms but he'd always let the students reschedule, no questions asked.
and that's why these people act this way, so predictable - we had bomb threats EVERY time - they just put up official notices saying the building had a threat but everything just kept on.
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Senior year of undergrad, my grandma passed away unexpectedly, the Saturday morning as Sprink Break started. She lived in Florida, the funeral was in Florida... if it wasn't for the funeral, it would have been great spending spring break in Florida. Except I couldn't get a flight home until the Tuesday after classes resumed. I thought I'd have to show proof etc, but not one single professor hassled me about it, they all offered their sympathies and didn't have a problem with missing a couple days.
I had a very opposite thing happen once. My grandmother passed away and the obituary was in the local paper. My then-manager recognized the last name (I have a very unique last name) and approached me that I didn't need to be at work and I should take time to grieve. I planned to take off for the funeral, but was new to the job and never expected such kindness. It's been 23 years and I still work for the same company.
When my father passed away suddenly my husbands boss made him take an entire week off work to be there for me. I worked part time through the week but my husbands boss refused to let him come back to work.
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I just want to send hugs to everyone who lost a family member or a friend and then had to deal with insensitive idiots. I’ve lost both grandparents so I know the feeling.
Ex-College Prof here. Please keep in mind that Professors are lied to ALL the time. Remember that....two sides to every story thing....it applies. Besides I missed an important exam because of illness and the first thing I did was obtain a doctor's report.
That ia never an excuse to be rude or fail a person for being sick or losing a loved one.
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A bunch of these stories describe behavior that is beyond the pale, but asking for some kind of evidence to support giving you an exception to the rules is normal and justified. You don't need a death certificate to show you were at a funeral; any of the little memorial pamphlets or whatever will do.
Where I live I have never heard of needing to give proof of bereavement or doctor's notes for sick leave. If I phone my job and tell them I'm ill, or I have to take time off because a relative passed away, that's it. I get my time off. The only time you need doctor's notes is if you're asking for special accommodations at school or university.
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As a scholar and lecturer and I can't believe the cold-heartedness! Sure students lie about stuff and it's on them. But I would never risk insulting someone who is telling the truth about death of a close relative or a serious health issue even if there are idiots who lie about these things! Unfortunately many professors start taking themselves way too seriously at some point and lose perspective.
Man, I was lucky to go to the school I went to. In one of my last semesters in University, I got a major concussion that put me out of commission for about a month. I was in 5 senior level courses that semester, and every single prof went above and beyond to make sure I could finish the semester without sacrificing my health or my grades. Some profs just let me skip assignments and adjusted my grading scale accordingly, some let me make up assignments or created new ones for me at the end of the semester, and some let me make up the missed assignments on a schedule that worked with the rest of my classes. I am truly lucky to have had them in my corner!
My brother was in the hospital dying from brain cancer surgery. Family was coming in from all over, with several staying at my apartment. It was the last month of my senior year. ALL of my teachers were accommodating. Maybe they were this way because I had never offered up a bogus excuse for anything. Granted, teachers, humans, should show compassion and not resort to callous remarks and demands, but come on people, you know some students will concoct outrageous stories to get out of a test or assignment, and some offer up excuses on a pretty regular basis.
In 2019 I became too il to work so I needed to quit my job. I went back to the government lessons for foreigners about the native language. The courses weren’t obligatory because it was high level classes. I was very ill and I couldn’t go everyday to class. The teacher knew about it and I also gave her doctors notes explaining the situation. At the end of the course she told me that she wanted to fail me for not being able to go to all classes but since I passed the exam (and with good grades) the administration didn’t let her fail me (I guess that she wanted to hurt me by saying that). In the next course she said nothing, I went three months of daily classes as much as I could despite being really ill. The last day of the course she didn’t allow me to do the final exam. Since technically “I didn’t pass” she could finally fail me. She is the only teacher and those are the only classes available here. So thanks to this bitch I will never speak the language properly or integrate.
I remember we had a 'welcome and these are how things run' lecture/class when we first arrived at uni. I do remember one of the older professors tell us that unfortunately they know that at this stage in life is when young adults start to lose their older relatives, they would be compassionate but they did also need to see copies of death certificates if necessary. They explained that some students did try to get extra time etc by lying saying someone had died so I guess to an extent it can be seen both ways. The whole situation does need to be handled delicately and there is never an excuse for lack of empathy
As long as they understood that proof might come later, you can't always get a death certificate straight away.
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That professor might have been me. You would not believe the huge number of grandparents that died at test times. So I asked for proof. And grow up, college students. Workplaces will ask for proof of illness and relatives' death too.
These "teachers" are really disgusting. I don't even treat my staff like that and they are getting paid by me, not the other way round. I am no psychology expert but people need to take time and deal with their loss, emotions and recharge to get back in the right state of mind. It's not hard to understand now is it?
I dont know if being a teacher atracts abusive people because you have power over others or if it makes people that way. But a lot of teachers are very arrogant or abusive. Its sad. Soecially for the nice ones, imagine working with the others...
Load More Replies... My junior year I lost my grandfather about 10 months after my grandmother died as you can imagine it was a difficult time and I was struggling with depression. At the end of the semester my economics professor said “Your performance in this class was like watching a horse race where the horse should be shot at the end of the race.” Twelve years later and I’m still mad at myself for not standing up to him.
Not excusing the callousness of some, but as someone who has taught college, I once had a student (non-traditional in their 30s) tell me they had to miss class because their grandparent passed in a car accident. Ok. I said "Sorry for your loss. Everything is on the syllabus, but let me know if you need extra time." 2 weeks later, same student comes up to tell me that their uncle died in another car accident and they have another funeral. I said basically the same thing (although they hadn't caught up from before). 10 days later, same student AGAIN says that they have a 3rd funeral to attend (a cousin I think?) and will need to miss class. At this point, I'm thinking that either they have the most tragic family ever (3 deaths in 4 weeks) or there are shenanigans. I told them at this point, at the risk of being grossly insensitive, to please bring a copy of the funeral service program.
Thats a different thing. Three times in a row is suspicious
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I was an undergraduate student and there was one teacher that started out the semester warning students that she would not accept deaths as an excuse to miss exams. She complained that she had too many students with three dead grandmothers. Near the end of the semester, my mother is in the hospital dying from cancer and our family knew that should would not be leaving alive and could die any day. It was friday morning and the teach was reminding of an exam on monday and she also reminded the class that deaths in the family are not an executable excuse. I raised my hand and said, “What if it really is true.” The teacher’s response is “Bring in a death certificate.” My mother dies that friday evening. We have the funeral on sunday.
On monday morning, i show up to class in not a great mindset. I go up to the teacher and pull out the newspaper section and show my mother’s obituary. I then say, “The state will not issue the death certificate for two more weeks. Do i really need to take the exam today?” The teacher was very apologetic saying that on friday she thought i was being a smart a%$ asking the question. I responded that i understood. She then said take the time i need and i can get an incomplete and make it up when i could.
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I have a teacher at my school, let’s just say... we all hate her. I have a classmate who recently came out as genderfluid, and they politely asked if the teacher could call them *their name* instead of *name they were given at birth*, and use they/them pronouns. The teacher then asked if the student has spoken to the school about this, and the answer was no. That teacher still uses their birth name and she/her pronouns, and it’s annoying as heck.
My illustration teacher used to laugh at my figure drawings and say they looked like hobbits. No constructive advice, just mocking.
This isn't awful, but my French teacher once asked me where I was from (which is fine, in the 90's there were less racially ambiguous people like myself and it attracted attention) - I said my father is African/Indian and my mother is Italian/Irish - he casually replied with a reductive summary of my racial history - "Ah, coffee with milk"
Had this happen, sort of to me. My grandfather died (professor, a PhD student) told us at the beginning of class, we had to bring in an obit/funeral program, etc for deaths if we were going to use that excuse for the quizzes. So I did. got stuff excused though he was not happy about it (he had other issues). A couple of weeks later, I got pneumonia really bad (entire left lung was white on the x-ray). went to his class (even though I should have been in bed) with my ED (Emergency department) report and he almost didn't believe me, though I as coughing and looked like death warmed over. He finally granted me excused absences for the weekly quizzes I was missing but man he was not happy about it.
My mum was a maths lecturer, I know she wouldn’t have behaved like those above...although I would assume there would need to be evidence to back up your grade? But I was also raised knowing a teacher is a teacher, not my parent, not my judge (they all have bosses too and if you think you’ve been treated unfairly you need to speak up and state your claim calmly) they don’t pay me, I pay them, they are not long term people in my life and I sure as **** won’t be thinking about them on my deathbed! The relationship is transactional, they have no right to judge me, just my work...I’m never rude, always open and friendly, but they know from the get go I’m not intimidated either. My first responsibility is to my own peace of mind, I do what I think is right, no one out ranks me when it comes to me.
It's because of all the students who lie to get extensions that many profs ask for proof. The decorum with which they engage is definitely something they are responsible for and should be very delicate with. So many of these stories are not things anyone would make up to get a couple days extension, so that's outright cruel and unprofessional. An extended family member's death, however often maybe faked for their benefit, is still something a professor should tread very delicately with and these guys did not do that. There are ways to avoid being duped without being an arsehole.
I wasn't allowed to get an extension on my diss as well, but it was by the office - lecturer approved but not the office, lecturer even sent them pictures as evidence - because the injury I had (took a blade to the palm of my right hand, I still have nerve damage to my thumb, I've mentioned it on here before I think) was only on one hand and I could still very slowly type with the other. Did manage to do it with a lot of help and way too little sleep. Though I will say the look on the face of the person I handed it to in the office after seeing the state of my injured hand was interesting, apparently hadn't seen the pictures my lecturer sent.
Wow. I had to stop taking my grad courses just before finals of my last quarter before starting my thesis due to health. It took me 5 years but finally finished. I'm going to apply for PhD programs soon and after obtained, I may stay in academia, so I will definitely keep these in mind if I become a professor.
I had a prof who gave me D- in 2 creative writing classes (even though i did all the work} he sat me down and suggestively asked if there was anything i could do to bring my grade up. I told him i didn't think he did enough teaching in his classes (there was no feed back on assignments) and he gave me 2 D- final grades on the spot (took 2 classes with him in 1 semester and never again)
These professors are in the wrong profession. This isn't the dead poet's society. Let the student pay their fee and reschedule like everyone else. Losers.
I've had professors refuse to let me talk to them about my disability accommodations. I obviously dropped their classes.
My work friend's twin sister received a text or call in the middle of a college class, saying that her ex-boyfriend had killed himself. In addition, he had been harrassing her and threatening to kill himself if she didn't talk to him. The previous night, she had finally not let him manipulate her and had ended the conversation. And then he actually killed himself. (STILL NOT HER FAULT.) But she collapsed in sobs and hysterics right in the class room. The professor and the staff were very insistent on sending her for a 72 hour psych hold!!!!! It was only when someone got ahold of her Dad and he came and got her that they relented. This is in Minnesota, USA. I am still SO ANGRY that they treated her that way. So, so angry.
I had something similar at my part time job when my dad died in a work accident. Had to have my fathers boss call my boss while i was headlessly packing things to "move" to my mom for some time. They even had the audacity to ask for a doctors note. I was 21 at the time and got 450 euros for 30 to 40 hours a week and did not even have a contract. They wanted me to come in and work just hours later (call center connecting clients with "counsellors"). I was at least lucky my prof (first proof reader of my undergrad thesis) was understanding. Happened on Monday and I think i had about a month left until I had to hand my thesis in; just returned from an excavation abroad and did not see my dad for two weeks before his death. The next Monday I had an appointment with him and of course he asked what was wrong he thought everything went good. After breaking the news he just said "s**t. Do you want me to close the door?" (open door policy). He did ALL the paperwork to move deadlines for me.
When my cousin's grandfather the office where worked would let her have the day off. She had a coworker who could not get time off when her son died The only time the employees could get time off is when their spouse died.
In 6th grade I was going on a make-a-wish trip for my sister with the rest of my family. My English teacher tried to give me a ton of homework until my mom came in and told her off
I was in the hospital on IV antibiotics and morphine. College professor wouldn't excuse my absence... His wife was my nurse.
Most of these cases, when you recover you go to their department and deliver a small plastic bag of ashes to the secretary. State loudly that you're handing in the required proof that your relative died... This news will spread through colleagues around the world incredibly fast, and leave more of an impact than any other kind of protest or complaint.
You know what? SCREW these professors . . . YOU are the one PAYING for your education so if you need to miss, it should be nothing to them. You're basically paying their salary. They're just on a powet trip.
this is real in jobs, too. Fire the people who lie about this crap ---- expel them ----- whatever ----- but stop making us all suffer b/c our lives don't schedule tragedy conveniently. IMHO.
To figure out if one is lying, a person needs to see proof, so maybe accept that you will have to hand in forms, doctors notes, death certificates, etc. How is HR/the prof/whoever supposed to say if it’s true otherwise? Are they supposed to telepathically know? I can see how it’s painful to obtain the death certificate but what is so difficult about getting a doctors note???
Load More Replies... You know how many scamming kids use the 'my grandma died' excuse? No teacher/professor in the world is going to accept that on their word. I was driving up to my grandma's funeral many years ago and my inspection sticker was expired and when I got pulled over and asked where I was going, I said to my grandmother's funeral. Cop looked at me like, "C'mon, you can do better than that." And even as I was saying it, it sounded made up even to me. Yeah, I got a ticket. I didn't blame him.
Not 100% sure what an inspection sticker is but was it expired because of your grandmother dying? Some things genuinely have an impact that cannot be prevented. Sometimes getting proof is easy. However, proof of death is not always immediately available at the time the death prevents attendance for exams or in work. If someone misses classes but their work is still good I have no idea why that would impinge on the grade. None of this excuses a lousy attitude.
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I did a double degree in engineering and science as a single parent. Every assignment was ready well before the due date and I studied for exams as i went. So when I was 5 months pregnant and had 6 exams in one week, the stress got the better of me. My last exam was maths, I did no revision and got 100%. It's all in the preparation
How do you prepare for things like fainting before an exam or your mother dying?
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So, I am chronically ill. I've spent about 80% of my life in the hospital. I have gastroparesis, and was in the hospital about a month ago. I still had Zoom classes and I had emailed my teacher at the beginning of the year that I am chronically ill, I vomit a lot, and I can't turn my camera on this year. She was cool with it, until I was in the hospital. I had told her about my situation. I got onto class and she got all pissy about my not turning my camera on. I again, reminded her. And she persisted. In frustration, I turn my camera on, ans she sees me: Oily hair, NG tube, multiple IVs, rail thin, puking my guts out. She then politely said I could turn my camera off. I hate teachers and I can't wait to be out of school.
I'm sorry to say that they are just as bad as a lot of people you will meet the rest of your life. Hope you find something that works for your illness and that you do meet the awesome people that are out there too. And fork her.
Load More Replies... It's funny my dad is a prof and he did the opposite of these stories. He'd joke in private about the amount of grandmas that died during midterms but he'd always let the students reschedule, no questions asked.
and that's why these people act this way, so predictable - we had bomb threats EVERY time - they just put up official notices saying the building had a threat but everything just kept on.
Load More Replies... Senior year of undergrad, my grandma passed away unexpectedly, the Saturday morning as Sprink Break started. She lived in Florida, the funeral was in Florida... if it wasn't for the funeral, it would have been great spending spring break in Florida. Except I couldn't get a flight home until the Tuesday after classes resumed. I thought I'd have to show proof etc, but not one single professor hassled me about it, they all offered their sympathies and didn't have a problem with missing a couple days.
I had a very opposite thing happen once. My grandmother passed away and the obituary was in the local paper. My then-manager recognized the last name (I have a very unique last name) and approached me that I didn't need to be at work and I should take time to grieve. I planned to take off for the funeral, but was new to the job and never expected such kindness. It's been 23 years and I still work for the same company.
When my father passed away suddenly my husbands boss made him take an entire week off work to be there for me. I worked part time through the week but my husbands boss refused to let him come back to work.
Load More Replies... I just want to send hugs to everyone who lost a family member or a friend and then had to deal with insensitive idiots. I’ve lost both grandparents so I know the feeling.
Ex-College Prof here. Please keep in mind that Professors are lied to ALL the time. Remember that....two sides to every story thing....it applies. Besides I missed an important exam because of illness and the first thing I did was obtain a doctor's report.
That ia never an excuse to be rude or fail a person for being sick or losing a loved one.
Load More Replies... A bunch of these stories describe behavior that is beyond the pale, but asking for some kind of evidence to support giving you an exception to the rules is normal and justified. You don't need a death certificate to show you were at a funeral; any of the little memorial pamphlets or whatever will do.
Where I live I have never heard of needing to give proof of bereavement or doctor's notes for sick leave. If I phone my job and tell them I'm ill, or I have to take time off because a relative passed away, that's it. I get my time off. The only time you need doctor's notes is if you're asking for special accommodations at school or university.
Load More Replies... As a scholar and lecturer and I can't believe the cold-heartedness! Sure students lie about stuff and it's on them. But I would never risk insulting someone who is telling the truth about death of a close relative or a serious health issue even if there are idiots who lie about these things! Unfortunately many professors start taking themselves way too seriously at some point and lose perspective.
Man, I was lucky to go to the school I went to. In one of my last semesters in University, I got a major concussion that put me out of commission for about a month. I was in 5 senior level courses that semester, and every single prof went above and beyond to make sure I could finish the semester without sacrificing my health or my grades. Some profs just let me skip assignments and adjusted my grading scale accordingly, some let me make up assignments or created new ones for me at the end of the semester, and some let me make up the missed assignments on a schedule that worked with the rest of my classes. I am truly lucky to have had them in my corner!
My brother was in the hospital dying from brain cancer surgery. Family was coming in from all over, with several staying at my apartment. It was the last month of my senior year. ALL of my teachers were accommodating. Maybe they were this way because I had never offered up a bogus excuse for anything. Granted, teachers, humans, should show compassion and not resort to callous remarks and demands, but come on people, you know some students will concoct outrageous stories to get out of a test or assignment, and some offer up excuses on a pretty regular basis.
In 2019 I became too il to work so I needed to quit my job. I went back to the government lessons for foreigners about the native language. The courses weren’t obligatory because it was high level classes. I was very ill and I couldn’t go everyday to class. The teacher knew about it and I also gave her doctors notes explaining the situation. At the end of the course she told me that she wanted to fail me for not being able to go to all classes but since I passed the exam (and with good grades) the administration didn’t let her fail me (I guess that she wanted to hurt me by saying that). In the next course she said nothing, I went three months of daily classes as much as I could despite being really ill. The last day of the course she didn’t allow me to do the final exam. Since technically “I didn’t pass” she could finally fail me. She is the only teacher and those are the only classes available here. So thanks to this bitch I will never speak the language properly or integrate.
I remember we had a 'welcome and these are how things run' lecture/class when we first arrived at uni. I do remember one of the older professors tell us that unfortunately they know that at this stage in life is when young adults start to lose their older relatives, they would be compassionate but they did also need to see copies of death certificates if necessary. They explained that some students did try to get extra time etc by lying saying someone had died so I guess to an extent it can be seen both ways. The whole situation does need to be handled delicately and there is never an excuse for lack of empathy
As long as they understood that proof might come later, you can't always get a death certificate straight away.
Load More Replies... That professor might have been me. You would not believe the huge number of grandparents that died at test times. So I asked for proof. And grow up, college students. Workplaces will ask for proof of illness and relatives' death too.
These "teachers" are really disgusting. I don't even treat my staff like that and they are getting paid by me, not the other way round. I am no psychology expert but people need to take time and deal with their loss, emotions and recharge to get back in the right state of mind. It's not hard to understand now is it?
I dont know if being a teacher atracts abusive people because you have power over others or if it makes people that way. But a lot of teachers are very arrogant or abusive. Its sad. Soecially for the nice ones, imagine working with the others...
Load More Replies... My junior year I lost my grandfather about 10 months after my grandmother died as you can imagine it was a difficult time and I was struggling with depression. At the end of the semester my economics professor said “Your performance in this class was like watching a horse race where the horse should be shot at the end of the race.” Twelve years later and I’m still mad at myself for not standing up to him.
Not excusing the callousness of some, but as someone who has taught college, I once had a student (non-traditional in their 30s) tell me they had to miss class because their grandparent passed in a car accident. Ok. I said "Sorry for your loss. Everything is on the syllabus, but let me know if you need extra time." 2 weeks later, same student comes up to tell me that their uncle died in another car accident and they have another funeral. I said basically the same thing (although they hadn't caught up from before). 10 days later, same student AGAIN says that they have a 3rd funeral to attend (a cousin I think?) and will need to miss class. At this point, I'm thinking that either they have the most tragic family ever (3 deaths in 4 weeks) or there are shenanigans. I told them at this point, at the risk of being grossly insensitive, to please bring a copy of the funeral service program.
Thats a different thing. Three times in a row is suspicious
Load More Replies... I was an undergraduate student and there was one teacher that started out the semester warning students that she would not accept deaths as an excuse to miss exams. She complained that she had too many students with three dead grandmothers. Near the end of the semester, my mother is in the hospital dying from cancer and our family knew that should would not be leaving alive and could die any day. It was friday morning and the teach was reminding of an exam on monday and she also reminded the class that deaths in the family are not an executable excuse. I raised my hand and said, “What if it really is true.” The teacher’s response is “Bring in a death certificate.” My mother dies that friday evening. We have the funeral on sunday.
On monday morning, i show up to class in not a great mindset. I go up to the teacher and pull out the newspaper section and show my mother’s obituary. I then say, “The state will not issue the death certificate for two more weeks. Do i really need to take the exam today?” The teacher was very apologetic saying that on friday she thought i was being a smart a%$ asking the question. I responded that i understood. She then said take the time i need and i can get an incomplete and make it up when i could.
Load More Replies... I have a teacher at my school, let’s just say... we all hate her. I have a classmate who recently came out as genderfluid, and they politely asked if the teacher could call them *their name* instead of *name they were given at birth*, and use they/them pronouns. The teacher then asked if the student has spoken to the school about this, and the answer was no. That teacher still uses their birth name and she/her pronouns, and it’s annoying as heck.
My illustration teacher used to laugh at my figure drawings and say they looked like hobbits. No constructive advice, just mocking.
This isn't awful, but my French teacher once asked me where I was from (which is fine, in the 90's there were less racially ambiguous people like myself and it attracted attention) - I said my father is African/Indian and my mother is Italian/Irish - he casually replied with a reductive summary of my racial history - "Ah, coffee with milk"
Had this happen, sort of to me. My grandfather died (professor, a PhD student) told us at the beginning of class, we had to bring in an obit/funeral program, etc for deaths if we were going to use that excuse for the quizzes. So I did. got stuff excused though he was not happy about it (he had other issues). A couple of weeks later, I got pneumonia really bad (entire left lung was white on the x-ray). went to his class (even though I should have been in bed) with my ED (Emergency department) report and he almost didn't believe me, though I as coughing and looked like death warmed over. He finally granted me excused absences for the weekly quizzes I was missing but man he was not happy about it.
My mum was a maths lecturer, I know she wouldn’t have behaved like those above...although I would assume there would need to be evidence to back up your grade? But I was also raised knowing a teacher is a teacher, not my parent, not my judge (they all have bosses too and if you think you’ve been treated unfairly you need to speak up and state your claim calmly) they don’t pay me, I pay them, they are not long term people in my life and I sure as **** won’t be thinking about them on my deathbed! The relationship is transactional, they have no right to judge me, just my work...I’m never rude, always open and friendly, but they know from the get go I’m not intimidated either. My first responsibility is to my own peace of mind, I do what I think is right, no one out ranks me when it comes to me.
It's because of all the students who lie to get extensions that many profs ask for proof. The decorum with which they engage is definitely something they are responsible for and should be very delicate with. So many of these stories are not things anyone would make up to get a couple days extension, so that's outright cruel and unprofessional. An extended family member's death, however often maybe faked for their benefit, is still something a professor should tread very delicately with and these guys did not do that. There are ways to avoid being duped without being an arsehole.
I wasn't allowed to get an extension on my diss as well, but it was by the office - lecturer approved but not the office, lecturer even sent them pictures as evidence - because the injury I had (took a blade to the palm of my right hand, I still have nerve damage to my thumb, I've mentioned it on here before I think) was only on one hand and I could still very slowly type with the other. Did manage to do it with a lot of help and way too little sleep. Though I will say the look on the face of the person I handed it to in the office after seeing the state of my injured hand was interesting, apparently hadn't seen the pictures my lecturer sent.
Wow. I had to stop taking my grad courses just before finals of my last quarter before starting my thesis due to health. It took me 5 years but finally finished. I'm going to apply for PhD programs soon and after obtained, I may stay in academia, so I will definitely keep these in mind if I become a professor.
I had a prof who gave me D- in 2 creative writing classes (even though i did all the work} he sat me down and suggestively asked if there was anything i could do to bring my grade up. I told him i didn't think he did enough teaching in his classes (there was no feed back on assignments) and he gave me 2 D- final grades on the spot (took 2 classes with him in 1 semester and never again)
These professors are in the wrong profession. This isn't the dead poet's society. Let the student pay their fee and reschedule like everyone else. Losers.
I've had professors refuse to let me talk to them about my disability accommodations. I obviously dropped their classes.
My work friend's twin sister received a text or call in the middle of a college class, saying that her ex-boyfriend had killed himself. In addition, he had been harrassing her and threatening to kill himself if she didn't talk to him. The previous night, she had finally not let him manipulate her and had ended the conversation. And then he actually killed himself. (STILL NOT HER FAULT.) But she collapsed in sobs and hysterics right in the class room. The professor and the staff were very insistent on sending her for a 72 hour psych hold!!!!! It was only when someone got ahold of her Dad and he came and got her that they relented. This is in Minnesota, USA. I am still SO ANGRY that they treated her that way. So, so angry.
I had something similar at my part time job when my dad died in a work accident. Had to have my fathers boss call my boss while i was headlessly packing things to "move" to my mom for some time. They even had the audacity to ask for a doctors note. I was 21 at the time and got 450 euros for 30 to 40 hours a week and did not even have a contract. They wanted me to come in and work just hours later (call center connecting clients with "counsellors"). I was at least lucky my prof (first proof reader of my undergrad thesis) was understanding. Happened on Monday and I think i had about a month left until I had to hand my thesis in; just returned from an excavation abroad and did not see my dad for two weeks before his death. The next Monday I had an appointment with him and of course he asked what was wrong he thought everything went good. After breaking the news he just said "s**t. Do you want me to close the door?" (open door policy). He did ALL the paperwork to move deadlines for me.
When my cousin's grandfather the office where worked would let her have the day off. She had a coworker who could not get time off when her son died The only time the employees could get time off is when their spouse died.
In 6th grade I was going on a make-a-wish trip for my sister with the rest of my family. My English teacher tried to give me a ton of homework until my mom came in and told her off
I was in the hospital on IV antibiotics and morphine. College professor wouldn't excuse my absence... His wife was my nurse.
Most of these cases, when you recover you go to their department and deliver a small plastic bag of ashes to the secretary. State loudly that you're handing in the required proof that your relative died... This news will spread through colleagues around the world incredibly fast, and leave more of an impact than any other kind of protest or complaint.
You know what? SCREW these professors . . . YOU are the one PAYING for your education so if you need to miss, it should be nothing to them. You're basically paying their salary. They're just on a powet trip.
this is real in jobs, too. Fire the people who lie about this crap ---- expel them ----- whatever ----- but stop making us all suffer b/c our lives don't schedule tragedy conveniently. IMHO.
To figure out if one is lying, a person needs to see proof, so maybe accept that you will have to hand in forms, doctors notes, death certificates, etc. How is HR/the prof/whoever supposed to say if it’s true otherwise? Are they supposed to telepathically know? I can see how it’s painful to obtain the death certificate but what is so difficult about getting a doctors note???
Load More Replies... You know how many scamming kids use the 'my grandma died' excuse? No teacher/professor in the world is going to accept that on their word. I was driving up to my grandma's funeral many years ago and my inspection sticker was expired and when I got pulled over and asked where I was going, I said to my grandmother's funeral. Cop looked at me like, "C'mon, you can do better than that." And even as I was saying it, it sounded made up even to me. Yeah, I got a ticket. I didn't blame him.
Not 100% sure what an inspection sticker is but was it expired because of your grandmother dying? Some things genuinely have an impact that cannot be prevented. Sometimes getting proof is easy. However, proof of death is not always immediately available at the time the death prevents attendance for exams or in work. If someone misses classes but their work is still good I have no idea why that would impinge on the grade. None of this excuses a lousy attitude.
Load More Replies... I did a double degree in engineering and science as a single parent. Every assignment was ready well before the due date and I studied for exams as i went. So when I was 5 months pregnant and had 6 exams in one week, the stress got the better of me. My last exam was maths, I did no revision and got 100%. It's all in the preparation
How do you prepare for things like fainting before an exam or your mother dying?
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