It’s a tale as old as the internet: you swipe right, you match, you strike up a conversation — and sometimes — that’s all it takes for you to find love. But if you’ve been swimming around the dating pool for more than a second, you know it’s actually filled with a range of horrors. Because when women would log into their online dating accounts and open up to some new companions, they’d occasionally get messages from random guys that fall somewhere on a scale from annoying and needy to disrespectful and painfully cringy.

Unfortunately, looking for connection online inevitably leads to a minefield of unsolicited pictures, questions, and one-liners that creep you out right off the bat. And the 'Straight Boy Texts' Twitter account is dedicated entirely to documenting this phenomenon. With nearly 60k followers, this social media project compiles screenshots from some of the worst offenders women ever had the "pleasure" of encountering into one hilarious and infuriating compilation.

Bored Panda has gathered the funniest, weirdest, and most pathetic attempts at seduction right below, so continue scrolling to check them all out! Be sure to upvote the entries for what men should never do while pursuing love, and let us know what you think in the comments.

#2

Terrible-Straight-Men-Texts

str8boytexts Report

Dan Padgett
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going by what the dude said, I would think a more compact model would be more appropriate

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Picture this: you match with someone cute and funny on Tinder. You’re typing away about seemingly normal things, like the kind of music you’re into or what you do for work. Everything seems pretty smooth sailing, and you can already feel all of the wonderful experiences you’ll get to share with this person. 

Then, suddenly and completely out of nowhere, they come right at you with a seriously out-of-touch message that leaves you a little surprised and a whole lot confused. Such is the burden of being a woman, looking for "the one" online — witnessing the 'Straight Boy Texts' phenomenon firsthand. 

So this begs the question: what is it with online dating that makes it such a complex universe to navigate? To better understand the world of internet romance, we previously reached out to Abi Blears, an international dating coach and award-winning matchmaker. "Apps can be a brilliant addition to meeting people in real life and enable us to connect with people we might not cross paths with otherwise. However, there are downsides to them," she told Bored Panda.

Blears argued that apps give us a false perception of having a great deal of choice. What’s more, they might make us feel like people are easier to replace. "They also inadvertently make us focus on things that might not be that important," the coach added.

"They encourage us to make snap decisions about people based on very little information. Another downside to an app is that you could fall victim to a catfish (someone who is pretending to be someone they are not), in the real world it’s harder to be misled."

#7

Terrible-Straight-Men-Texts

str8boytexts Report

Mihai Mara
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"so immmmmm....." .... "practicing on your own?" :)))

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It’s no secret that many women have online dating horror stories to share. A Pew Research survey has found that out of 30% of US adults who have ever used a dating site or app, many women shared negative experiences from using the platforms.

For example, 60% of female users under the age of 35 said someone on a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested, while 57% reported being sent a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for.

But Blears pointed out that this is not necessarily specific to dating apps. "Everyone who has dated a lot has likely had a bad experience somewhere along the way or dated someone who behaves less than ideal. People tend to share negative experiences and remember negative experiences more readily than positive ones," she said and added that for every negative online dating story out there, there’s likely a positive one.

However, the coach also mentioned that matching with someone on an app doesn’t have the same level of accountability compared to meeting them in real life, whether that’s through friends or in the workplace. 

"You’re more likely to be respectful of someone if you know it could impact your peer relationships or life in the future. If you meet someone on an app, there’s less of a chance that you’ll run into them in the future or that your peers will hear about any nefarious behavior," Blears said.

#14

Terrible-Straight-Men-Texts

str8boytexts Report

Headless Roach
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's probably the most polite and understanding exchange in this thread

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Toxic masculinity might be one of the reasons men believe the world should cater to their desires and convince them that they have a right to act this way. But Blears said it’s important to not encourage the narrative that men shouldn’t express their emotions. 

Of course, women can be abusive too and men are less likely to report abuse because it’s deemed by some to be emasculating, she added. "That said, it’s not even nearly on the same scale and toxic masculinity does need to be explored and dealt with."

When it comes to online harassment, it’s hard to know the right course of action on how to deal with offenders, as every situation tends to be different. However, if someone is being directly abusive, "the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the interaction. If you’re on an app, block and report the person. It’s important to know your own boundaries and uphold them."

"For example, you might have a zero-tolerance for being sworn at and the person you’re talking to swears at you. If you think they are generally reasonable, the approach would be to express how it makes you feel when they do that, express what you want in the future, and express the consequences if they repeat to offend. Then stick to your word."

She continued: "It’s also important not to get too wrapped up with people who are only nice from time to time, if someone isn’t consistently nice then they aren’t nice and it’s not your role to change them, as tempting as that might be."

Being the recipient of such terrible texts might make daters discouraged to start swimming in the dating pool again. If that seems to be the case, Blears kindly offered some suggestions for you. 

If having nightmarish experiences is a reoccurring theme, she advised considering how you’re using the apps, finding out if there are any common issues, and seeing how you can avoid repeating them.

“If it’s a one-off experience, it’s important to remember that whilst there are bad people online, there are also many good people out there so don’t let one negative experience tarnish your entire outlook. Pace your relationships slowly moving forward so that you do not become overly invested in someone very quickly. In time, people reveal their true colors so staying grounded in reality and not rushing things is key."

#22

Terrible-Straight-Men-Texts

str8boytexts Report

waddles
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh i’m sorry 💩 there’s your emoji go eat it

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Blears also noted that the most important factor with online dating is not only your physical safety but your emotional safety too. "You want to only continue conversing with people who are consistent in their behavior and who make you feel either good or neutral."

"It might come as a surprise but someone who is overly keen very early on might not be as safe an option as a guy who is more neutral and takes time to reveal his feelings. There’s a balance to be struck," the dating coach added.

#25

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str8boytexts Report

Mayra
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So it’s not censored when you call yourself one, perfect! Edit: they censored it…

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#26

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Mihai Mara
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

don't you just hate it when that happens randomly when you mess with the camera?

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"If you aren’t sure about taking it from online to offline, it’s perhaps wise to suggest a phone call or a video date before meeting up. If you’re generally worried about safety, you can suggest a daytime date somewhere public and be sure to inform a friend of your whereabouts. No matter how tempting, I would not recommend traveling in someone’s car when on a first date, going to their home or bringing them to yours," Blears concluded.

#32

Terrible-Straight-Men-Texts

str8boytexts Report

Cappuccino
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do they think that people will fall for this???

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#36

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str8boytexts Report

Meeple13
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the timeframe of the messages is the funniest part of this

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#38

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Zara the squid 🦑 (she/they)
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“What makes you think I want sex” *5 seconds earlier* “Have sex with me”

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#40

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Alexandra Davis
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean bra sizes around the world confuse me as a woman, so I can kinda forgive the guy but lol to him being impressed at something he obviously has no idea about! I can just imagine him googling this after and being so confused! Love it!

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#41

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cadena kuhn
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They hate it when u don't need them to feel validated

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#42

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For you? It'll be on the 12/12/2195. Save the date!!

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#48

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April Caron
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obliviate and Evanesco! (Gonna wipe out your memory, so you forget who I am and then vanish you)! Maybe Mucus Ad Nauseam for good measure (give ya a cold)!

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#50

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Note: this post originally had 124 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.