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Being a parent to a daredevil or two, you’d know how bold and in your face they may be. Often, kids don’t have a well-established filter of what to say and what is better left silent, and hence, there are an abundance of hilarious stories parents tell their dates over dinner many years later, making them blush.
Ask teachers, they know that very well. In fact, Redditor Moosepajamas did just that and posed a fun question “Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a student say?” As you can imagine, the thread blew up immediately with stories that push the term hilarious to a whole new level.
Below we selected some of the funniest responses for your entertainment, so scroll down below and share your thoughts in the comments!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked “does everyone understand my choices?” One of my favorite students ever piped up and said “are we talking about your proof or how you’ve chosen to live your life?”
Della Brown 3 years ago
Right?! How does this not have a higher score. I might have peed my pants if i was there
“Over the years, teachers collect interesting stories from their students,” Lynn How, the positivity coach, experienced educator and author of “Positive Young Minds” told Bored Panda in an interview. Lynn specializes in supporting parents, teachers, and children as they navigate through mental health issues and prevention, and she also runs this Facebook teacher coaching group which is an excellent resource for teachers in need of support when leaving, changing their mindset, changing their schools or setting healthy work/life boundaries.
RELATED:
#2
Once when I worked as a lunch lady, one of my favorite little kindergarten girls was getting ready to run out to recess. I stopped her and said, "Hannah, you should wash your face before you go out - there's spaghetti sauce all over it." She took off anyway screaming, "IT'S MY WAR PAINT!"
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
Omgosh, swings always had the longest lines!
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Missy Lew 3 years ago (edited)
Had a little boy in my kindergarten class and it was Christmas time so i was asking each person what they wanted for Xmas.. I get to my boss' son and i say "grayson what do you want for Christmas?" His reply was "new clothes for my mom...so she will quit walking around naked". I died.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
We had giant "girls vs. boys" Battle Royales on my playground... epic pitched battles that involved dodge balls, slides and dirt piles. If I had thought of it, I'd have worn war paint too!
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
Spaghetti sauce is the best war paint I can imagine Figure out a long table of soldiers painting their faces this way
#3
He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"
I lost it in class
robin woordes 3 years ago
Or mass suicide, depending on how you see it I guess
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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Well, It depends on if I put enough Rohypnol in the pool water before they started swimming
#4
I teach band. One day I’m working with the high school jazz band and we’re going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.
One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we’re going to work on, sees that it’s blank, looks up, and says “Wow, budget cuts must’ve hit us hard, huh?”
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
Yeah, I wish I could help schools but I am broke....
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Having been in education for 20 years, Lynn has a lot of stories to share. “The most memorable for me has been the time where a seven-year-old girl relayed the tale of her father amputating his own leg to escape death 127 hours style. The 'matter of fact' delivery was priceless!” Lynn recounted. Turns out this was far from the only time.
On the other occasion, “the five-year-old who explained the arrival of her surprise cousin the day before, as mum didn't know she was expecting. I couldn't wait until the end of the day to get the full story! Then the boy who, after I had provided my class with a five-minute rant about something or other, didn't get the memo about what you should do when the class is sitting in stunned silence post teacher rant, who just said very loudly, 'Miss, I think you need to calm down.' He was right.”
#5
In the middle of class, one kid let out this high-pitcher ‘awooga-boots’ noise followed by a deep sigh. He then looked around the classroom and very genuinely apologized that he “just needed to get it out. It was doing no good inside.” We all understood.
Lyricana Rokarin 3 years ago
What in the hell are "high pitcher awooga-boots"? Am I the only confused one?!
Nadja Lambacher 3 years ago
Reminds me of that Grinch in yoga class skit. "Free all the sounds that are trapped iny our mind!" *Unholy screeching*
#6
Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked "dude, what happened?" To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"
Renegade 3 years ago
Or they just visited The Henry Ford and sat in the bus.
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
A career in stand up comedy in this kid's future... smart comedy is always funniest.
Jaclyn 3 years ago
I think it’s a cute story, but why does it matter that she is ‘large’? All sized women take naps & Rosa Parks wasn’t ‘large’. She was a black hero. I don’t understand that detail.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Maybe if she'd been a small lady, there would have been room for the kid to stay where he was.
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#7
I worked in an innercity school. First day, I got around hard to pronounce names by calling out last names to check attendance, and asking my kiddos what name they preferred... and explained even nicknames were ok, so long as parents knew who I would be calling about. I get to one particularly dark skinned young man and he says something that sounds like “bluk boi” I look around and no one is laughing. I ask him to repeat himself a couple of times and finally and clearly says, “black boy”. Rest of convo went like this-
Me laughing: black boy!? You want me to call you black boy?!
Him, totally serious: yeah, everyone calls me that. Even my grandma.
Me: so let me get this straight, when I need your attention you want me, a white guy, to shout out “hey Black boy come here.”, “hey black boy, sit down”, “hey black boy pay attention”? Other kids finally realize what I’ve been laughing about and start to laugh too.
Him: yeah (said like I’m an idiot)
Me: you’re just trying to get me fired aren’t you
Him: so you’re not gonna call me black boy?
Me: I can’t man. Did you get another nickname?
Him: How about Monkey
We settled on BB for the year.
Autumn 3 years ago
NO YOU’RE PUSHIN ME DEE-NICE *breaks clipboard over knee*
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roxymo1983 3 years ago
Not child related but am a former stripper. My real name is the longer version of Roxy. But there was a white "Roxy". Neither wanted to change. So we told the DJ to say Black Roxy or White Roxy. He would not lol.
Queen Shay 3 years ago
I’m black and have a nephew we call monkey. He used to climb on everything as a toddler he’s 17 and I still say hi monkey love you monkey but yeah I get what you’re saying teach. I would of settled on BB too.
Marshmello 3 years ago
That was funny AF. Do you wanna go to war, Buh-lah-kay?
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Terri Martin 3 years ago
At first, it is comical to read the story itself but then it's sad. If he's serious, his family/grandma calling him that because he's darker is cruel. It wouldn't be tolerated if anyone outside his home gave him that nickname
Wadiya N 3 years ago
That is so sad. I hope you discussed this with the school counselor and his family. This is generational self hate. The internalized stigma of colorisim even with the black community is something that we must all work together to change. I think repeating it several times in front of the class like that added to the harm. If you encounter this again you should pull the student aside after class and explain why you couldn't call them that and find out about their home life.
Z Alexi 3 years ago
Bull's eye...teachers are supposed to teach~~not follow children [unable to critically think] blindly. Kids' whims change when they season.
Load More Replies...“Finally, the information that you find out from children's news reports on a Monday morning, which, in one school, involved tales of slightly drunken parents who frequented a bar named 'The Horny Toad.' That was a fun conversation at parents' evening,” Lynn recounted when asked about the most memorable things her students have said.
#8
A student hugged me goodbye, taking in a deep inhale as they did.
They then smiled up at me lovingly and said; “Your shirt smells like a grandma, but your armpits smell like chuck-e-cheese.”
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago (edited)
Let's hope is a little kid and not a teenager.
Load More Replies... Louloubelle 3 years ago
I think this is high praise from a little kid. I know mine loved both Chuck-E-Cheese and their grandmother.
Blackstone 3 years ago (edited)
Exactly! I would have taken it as a compliment (and then double checked my deodorant was working well when I got home 😂). Kids are brutally honest, but these are both positive things for a kid.
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Sue Williams 3 years ago
I got a hug once from a four year old student who then told me I had gramma boobies, not mom boobies.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
😜 cheap pizza, vomit, body odor and broken dreams
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#9
On Fridays, preschoolers and kindergarteners get their faces painted in the afternoon. Most kids want to be dinosaurs, fairies, or unicorns. One little girl asked to be God
Heather L 3 years ago
That had to single-handedly be the funniest response I’ve ever read omg
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Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Reminds me of that bit from Bedazzled: "Yes, there's a God. You'd think meeting the Devil would be interesting enough, but no, all people want to know about is Him - like HE'S so bloody fascinating." "So He's a man?" "Yeah. Most men think they're God - this one just happens to be right."
Cynthia Jones 3 years ago
So!? How was her face painted? With fairy dust and scriptures from all religions?
#10
I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.
Student: So I pay you and you make me run?
Me: Yeah, that's actually how it goes.
Student: This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run.
Me: uhhhh....
Eris Ea 3 years ago
That's how I handled PE I hated my teacher and the other pears who like to play handball and volleyball with passion!!😈😈
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I didn't realize they make kids pay for jogathons in 6th grade now. Was this some sort of pledge charity run or something?
Katchen 3 years ago
That’s what it sounds like. You get your relatives to agree to pay for every lap you jog, and the funds go to the school. We could do this, or we could reform our tax system. Sigh.
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Hannah Young 3 years ago
It doesn't make any sense in America either. If I'm supposed to run, someone else should be fundraising. If I'm fundraising, why do I also have to do the run?
Muntean Stefan 3 years ago
Yeah, this is literally capitalism end point: they make you pay and do the work ....and be proud about it after😂😂
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Jaymii Bonadurer 3 years ago
Jog-a-thons (and walkathons) in school are usually just laps around the track. Usually, you'll get family members to pledge an amount (such as 50¢ per lap) and they give the students a couple hours to go out and run their laps. Usually they'll have someone at the start line who will mark your hand every time you pass to keep track. They usually have some sort of food or something as well. One of my elementary schools had a walkathon every Friday, but we didn't raise money it just encouraged kids to move. You would get necklace charms depending on how many laps you did, and they would accumulate over the year. It was definitely fun, but I sorta forgot about them until now lol.
Load More Replies... I asked how you teach kids boundaries of what they can and can't say to their teachers, and Lynn said that the bottom line here is teaching children respect by earning their respect. “It's often interesting to hear the way in which they talk to their parents, as they would generally never talk to you like that.”
Moreover, she explained: “Teachers are nurturing people and when a boundary is crossed in this department, then they will explain to the student that the way in which they have spoken has not been respectful. Although in some instances, getting support from more senior colleagues in schools is important as I'm hearing of more and more occasions when students have increasing difficulty in understanding these boundaries.”
#11
It was my formal evaluation day. My evaluator (my assistant principal) was in the back of the room, writing down everything I said and did and everything my kids said and did. I had great kids so I wasn’t in the least bit worried. It was during the first period and they were quiet and working on assignments during announcements. Quiet and engaged and working. Beautiful. Then we got to the joke of the day. “What did the wave say to the shore?” And my class smarta** (who I adored, btw, he was hilarious) YELLS “WHAT UP, BEACH?” I totally laughed. Did fine on my evaluation.
jon gilbertson 3 years ago
funeral evaluation day is what i call the day i have my yearly physical lol
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Hilarious... was the answer expected to be... 'nothing, he just waved' because I like this kid's answer much better!
Hannah Young 3 years ago
It's probably because you said the joke wrong. It's "what did the ocean say to the shore?" Or else you give away the punchline in the joke
Polar_bear_lover 3 years ago
I read it "It was my formal evaluation day. My elevator....." What is wrong with me? LOL!!
Marie Goble 3 years ago
Fast thinking kid! I hope the assistant principal fell apart appropriately!😝
canbencheco cat 3 years ago
You're a teacher? You should know it's "WHOM I adored" then. Bot much?
#12
I teach Koreans. There is no "V" sound in the Korean language, so a lot of stuff with a "V" becomes a "P" or "B". Balentine's Day, for example. They know what a "V" is, so pronunciation just depends on if they've read the word using the Korean alphabet or the English one. One time, a group of students wanted to do a skit about Sailor Venus. So the whole skit was about "Sailor Penis," "Sailor Penis" fights using Penis's power of love, and ties down enemies using her special penis love chain.
John Carr 3 years ago
How the hell did that manage to get past BPs censors without a ton of ****
Ein Steinbeck 3 years ago
I taught ESL for years... a lot of east Asian cultures don't have an "s" sound for some vowel pairs. The most notable is that both Korean and Japanese don't have an "si" sound, but they have a "shi". So city turns into "s h i t t y."
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
An i the only one dying laughing at this! 🤣😂 I'm crying i can't type either! Thank you for once auto correct!
Jake Cox 3 years ago
As a Korean linguist, I have so many stories like this, like the gentleman who proudly explained Korea's electoral process and the annual "Erection Day" to me, because "erection is central to democracy!"
Rebecca Clark 3 years ago
I wonder how they would decide to use P or B? Did you try to talk them into using B instead of P?
Shiroppi 3 years ago
In Korean b and p almost sound identical unless it's a double consonant like bb or pp (then it's more pronounced). So it probably sounded the same haha
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Nicholas Epaminonda 3 years ago
Sing with me Koreans: "I' m your venus, I'm your fire at your desire"
#13
I’m a physics teacher and I used to do a problem where I shoved a random boy group off a cliff (I think that year it was one direction). Anyways I set up the whole scenario and problem and I look at the class and ask “what’s the first step” a boy who was usually fairly quiet chimes in with “Mr. we need to hide the bodies”
Duo Maxwell 3 years ago
If it was "One Direction" does it come with its own vector and momentum? If so, it's possible they could land quite a distance from the cliff and you wouldn't need to hide the bodies...
For those who’re wondering of a teacher's reaction after getting a very uncomfortable question from a student, Lynn says that teachers are used to fielding difficult questions, especially from younger children. “Generally, a sense of humor is all that is needed to combat many lines of enquiry. For personal questions, we can just say, 'that's not a question I'll be answering,' or 'please, could you ask your parents that one?' Ultimately, we want students to ask questions as we want them to have enquiring minds, so there are lots of times where I have just answered the question, even if it was a bit awkward. Often this was at lunchtime when the rest of the class had left!”
Lynn added that “of course we also want children to feel that they can approach us with any worries or problems and we should always be on the lookout for those questions or disclosures that warrant further investigation.”
#14
I had a student ask me when the world stopped being in black and white and changed to color.
He was 16.
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
No, it whas when the Gays stole the rainbow from God and distributed color upon Earth (I sincerely hope I don't have to say I'm joking...)
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Gabby M 3 years ago
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ they have no clue what rotary phone is either
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Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago (edited)
If all you've seen of the old world is black and white pictures, its a logical conclusion to make.Its just ignorance, not stupidly, because its based on the evidence they've witnessed. A central premise of the Wizard of Oz is Dorothy's world was black and white and Oz was color. The movie made $34,685,891at an average ticket cost of $.23. That's 150,808,221 tickets sold in a country with 130,884,000 people. A sepia filter was used to film the Kansas portions and that a version of that same technique is used to film equatorial and semi-equatorial countries like Mexico now. When landing in Mexico from the US, I've heard way too many people comment on how colorful everything is because film tells them Mexico is a dull yellow tone.
Sunny Day 3 years ago
Due to black & white film, I always think of pre-1960s as B&W. The 60s I always imagine in the faded colors of old Kodak film, with that faint sepia tinge. I think this is relatively common.
Kimber Pepper 3 years ago
Does no one go to museums? And if not, there are enough artists in popular culture - Van Gogh, da Vinci, etc. - to provide evidence to the contrary.
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DetongLhamo 3 years ago
My 13 year old cousin when we were kids, watching a bad film about gladiators etc asked us “Is this happening now?”.
Dream Chaser the wolfchild 3 years ago
This is not the first time I've heard of someone asking this question
Keisha 3 years ago
I had a 16 year old BFF that genuinely thought white milk came from white cows and chocolate milk came from brown cows. When I explained to her the idiocy of that thinking and that cows don't just come in two colors she was still stumped. I reevaluated my BFF choosing criteria.I honestly had trouble having discussions with her after that.
#15
I teach elementary school. Last year, I had a very bright kid who was on top of it except for his desk. Looked like multiple tornadoes hit that thing. I tried to appeal to his scientific side by telling him about a study about how clutter affects the brain. His response? "I'm from Europe, it's different for us."
Lovin' Life 3 years ago (edited)
Legit reply. You can take the kid out of the country but not the country out of the kid.
Cuppa tea? 3 years ago
Smart person can find things even in mess, idiot not even in organized workplace.
Azolane 3 years ago
I'm so tired of this bs. Clutter does NOT affect the brain. People have different ways of working and getting organized. I cannot work in silence, I need music or whatever in the background, and had a hard time as a child when my dad forced me to do my homework in silence, because he worked liked that. I'm a historian and libraries give me the creeps because of this. To each their own.
Blackstone 3 years ago (edited)
I know clutter does affect me. As someone with ADHD that struggles prioritizing and mentally organizing tasks, a cluttered space makes it hard to function. My thoughts are already disorganized, I don't need external clutter too. I've noticed that when there is too much visual clutter I am far less productive. It may not be that way for everyone, but it is a huge issue for me. And it's not that I don't know where stuff is (sometimes I know exactly where something is and sometimes I remember seeing it in 15 different places), but it's about the fact that I need a clean slate to get started. If I have clean a space before I can begin working, it'll sap my enthusiasm for the activity.
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Jan Wiesfeld 3 years ago
Nothing wrong with clutter, esp if you are on the spectrum. Clutter means something is actually used. Too tidy means the focus is on cleaning, not working.
Hunter 3 years ago
Wait, how did the post have anything to do with autism?
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Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
"If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what is an empty desk a sign of?"-Albert Einstein
Frances Blades 3 years ago
SWEET!! I can use my heritage for my organized chaos😃. I'm Canadian born and bred. But my dad was from Scotland and his parents from Ireland. I've always had a massive pull inside me to Europe. Only problem? Terrified of crossing the ocean😳😬😓
#16
Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a superhero day. A student said I looked like Captain America, before the injections
Agent 8433599 3 years ago
Well snap. You must've wished you would dissapear. (See what I did there? 😉🤣)
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
I have a very similar t-shirt to the one shown in the image. Ironically, I look somewhat more like the Winter Soldier... without the metal arm, though.
#17
Was tutoring after-school a couple of years ago. A kid asked, "What time is it?" I joked, "Time for you to get a watch."
He responded "Time for you to get a new joke," without a moment's hesitation.
I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.
Margaret 3 years ago
In college music class of 30 students, the prof was going through roll call. He was particularly nasty to one student with a distinctly Czech name. He called the name out, with his usual nasty rhymes, quotes, etc. Student remained silent. Teacher repeated three times. Student remained silent. Finally, teacher booms out correct name. Student responds. Teacher yells: "Why wouldn't you respond before?" Student: "Sorry, I learned to ignore those mean comments in 7th grade." Classroom erupted in applause. Problem solved.
Brobro McDuderson 3 years ago
Anyone else think the tutor and student look a little…close…in this pic?
#18
I was giving my student silent e spelling words. Me: your next word is "cute" 6-year-old boy: Oh, so you mean I should just write your name down here? His dad was so proud lol
#19
I have a fantastic story for this. Tl dr at the end. I'm Not a teacher but when I was in 8th grade we had a teacher who was pregnant and often chewed us out. She taught us in an elective class that was basically for fun projects and creative learning. The class was a reward for students who scored highly enough on exams. Not that we were saints by any means but the way she was rather mean toward us wasn't appropriate looking back. One day she gave us an extended lecture on how tomorrow's historical society powerpoint presentations were to be of the utmost seriousness. God help us if we don't treat this like our lives depend on it. So naturally, our class clown hatches a brilliant idea: He memorizes word for word his entire PowerPoint on some ancient culture, makes some edits, and the next day very seriously turns the flash drive over to her. He starts, and he has (unbeknownst to anyone) changed the entire PowerPoint font to WingDings, which is just random symbols hahaha. He proceeds to do the entire presentation with dead-faced stoicism while we all laugh our a**es off. She said nothing. The following Monday she had resigned and requested a transfer to another school. Our favorite teacher replaced her making it the best class we all would take. All hail the WingDings guy. Edit tl;dr: kid memorized and gave an entire PowerPoint in wingdings and it caused a teacher to quit.
Micah 3 years ago
In 9th grade we had an art teacher that we had previously had in 7th grade. For most of 9th grade, the class went okay, with the crowning achievement being a Picasso...I'm not sure if collage is the right word. It was a 3D painting comprised of 30 cubes, so depending on which side of the cubes were shown, it was a different Picasso work. Each student worked on one side of the cube. Anyways, 2 months before the school year ended, she was abruptly replaced by a new art teacher. We found out it was due to the new teacher having sued the school because she allegedly was supposed to have that job. This didn't sit right with us. We misbehaved, misused school property, and otherwise were just nuisances. The new teacher quit within 2 weeks and the original teacher was reinstated. I'm not certain we did the right thing, but we thought we were at the time.
brandon ongkosaputra 3 years ago
cool. never thought of that but will keep it in mind for later ;)
Load More Replies... Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
In fairness to her, hormonal upheavals can do bad things to someone's personality. She might well have been OK when not pregnant.
Anne Edwards 3 years ago
So you are saying that it's okay to completely disrupt and potentially destroy children's lives because she might be having hormonal upheavals? No. Not buying it and I'm deeply offended by the suggestion.
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Marie Goble 3 years ago
Being a teacher myself, I can say this in all fairness…There are GOOD teachers and there are others who should look for another profession. Any teacher who quits or transfer because a student did a presentation in WingDing font, does not qualify as a “good” teacher to me. When you love what you do, it shines through. Even kindergartners KNOW when a teacher is there because he or she WANTS to be or when they are unhappy in their job, just marking time and there to collect a paycheck. Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse for being mean or harsh with students. Perhaps the kid who did the WingDing presentation did the teacher a favor — hopefully the incident helped her see that she was due for a change in her job title. Maybe she was just READY to stay home and be mommy to her little one…👍🏼
CA TAISEI 3 years ago
I was teaching English grammar in a Japanese junior high school and I was teaching them the sentence “I am pretty.” One student said my sentence was wrong because it should have been “I was pretty” because I am old he told me.
Julian McCallum 3 years ago
The class is called Gifted and Talented, I went to it when I was in Elementary School, but after Elementary school I went to public school because the middle and high school at our town sucks.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
It is really very good thinking on the kid's part, but I can't imagine a teacher being so fragile they couldn't take it. All the teachers I have ever known have been very tough and resilient people.
#20
Besides being called Mom numerous times, I've been called Grandpa once. (I'm female.)
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
One of the kids in the neighborhood used to call me "Mrs. Ma'am" and I never knew how to take it... I am not currently married, but I like it better than just "ma'am'
Anna Tribe 3 years ago
No worries. My grandkids call me teacher sometimes. Fröken in Swedish. Plus they hold up their hand to get my attention. I know I was a teacher in the past but I love being called grandma (mormor in Swedish)
Marie Goble 3 years ago
LOL! I’ve been called both “mom” and “grandma,” but never “grandpa!” That would make me run home and check in the mirror to see if I had hair growing out of my ears or my nose! LOL! The funny thing about when a student calls you “mom” (I once even had a middle schooler slip and do it) is how horrified they are when it happens! They think they are the ONLY one who has ever made that mistake! I just chuckle and brush it off. I tell the other kids who may be laughing about it, “Well, that’s understandable when we wrote up our class rules on Day One of class, what was Rule #3?” I wait for someone to look at the poster of our class rules, raise their hand and read the rule: “When we are in the classroom together, we are like a FAMILY.” I remind them that it’s mom that generally runs things at home and in the classroom, * I * am the mom figure, so it’s not hard to understand how someone might call me “mom” or “grandma.” I try to make the kid who slipped up feel less embarrassed.😘
Indy 3 years ago
I did this in 6th grade, everyone laughed, the teacher smiled. I was embarrassed.
Rachel Konefka 3 years ago
I still remember the kid who did that on the 3rd grade and it was 1989
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Carlye Piparato 3 years ago
I am now a substitute, with a difficult last name. I tell the kids my two normal nicknames, and throw in that mom and grandma are ok too, but I really don’t like grandpa. Ya gotta be real clear sometimes.
Fierrochase4life 3 years ago
I called my male 5th grade teacher mom once...in front of the whole class
Wendy Mitchell 3 years ago
Nothing to do with you. Grandpa is the person that the child learns the most from in their particular daily life.
#21
“I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn’t even brought up horoscopes yet and we’re 6 weeks in.”
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Horoscopes are actually a valid astronomy topic because you can discuss how the stars have drifted into different patterns over the millenia, and how star patterns helped get humanity into the study of astronomy in the first place. But of course not giving credence to all the superstitious nonsense.
Callista Pierce 3 years ago
my friend is an aquarius, i said i dont beLEOve in those things. thats what TAURUS apart. im so funny
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Some have their heads in the sky. Some have their heads up their ass
Ein Steinbeck 3 years ago
Sounds like me in chemistry class when the teacher asked how many elements there were, and the answer wasn't 4 or 5.
#22
I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said “Man, I need to practice.” Without missing a beat the kid next to him says “My mom says I need Jesus.”
IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago
When I was in 6th grade, my teacher made me come up to her at the top of the class. She made me bend my head down and started looking through my hair. When I asked her what she was doing she said she was looking for the number 666.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
These days that would probably get a teacher fired. They get fired for a lot less these days.
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#23
Not a teacher but when I was in middle school our teacher started the day by ranting about how kids these days need to go outside more to get Vitamin D because it’ll make them not depressed and a lot happier. Halfway through the class she gets into an ungodly rage probably about something trivial. The minute she’s done, without skipping a beat, my buddy says: “Why don’t you go outside and look at the sun?” The class starts dying with laughter, but the teacher doesn’t find it so funny. He actually got suspended for that one.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
He should not have been suspended. You cannot suspend a child for something you just taught them
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I think she must have had some issues. Teachers are normally not so tantrum prone, but I suppose everyone has a limit. We once had a substitute science teacher who was apparently close to the end of his rope. We got him worked up enough that he snapped his pointer in two, slammed it down and stormed out. We heard later we made him cry. I am not proud of that.
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
I got to the end of my rope the other day, I raged alllllll night! Let's just say, when I rage things get done! It could be good, or bad. You'll never know!
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Pam Page 3 years ago
My son got hauled into the principal's office as a senior. Seems his AP History teacher had come into the class and proudly announced that he had gotten his Ph.D. My smart assed son asked, "where, off the internet"? I had a hard time not laughing.
Jonathan Nichols 3 years ago (edited)
Teacher could have used that as a chance to explain how PhDs are obtained and what his thesis was and why that matters to society. But no, let's just brag and push down anyone who questions us because we're insecure. That's how education often works today
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No Name 3 years ago
Suspended seriously! This is exactly why the school system needs revamped or to become extinct
AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
Lol love this kid. And she's wrong for getting mad and suspending him. That wasn't even rude or disrespectful.
Callista Pierce 3 years ago
it is true that being outside and around nature is proven to relieve stress and anxiety (a bit). it is not true that it will just magically cure depression.
#24
We were talking about cheetahs. Some kid said he could beat a cheetah in a race. The class predictably laughs and the kid shuts up. A minute later he just turns around and says "I can beat a FAT cheetah in a race."
Polar_bear_lover 3 years ago
I have no stamina and I am very slow, so I would need a fat, arthritic cheetah with three legs with boots on. Why boots? Well to win, I would still have to cheat by putting superglue on the boots. I guess I'm a cheat-ah!!!
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I think I'd still need a lot more of an edge. I could beat a very ancient fat cheetah in a race... maybe. A very short race though.
Kelley Baltierra 3 years ago
Are there such things as far cheetahs? Maybe he could beat one that just ate an elephant five minutes prior...
#25
One time a kid asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
I'm a grow up and I ask my kids what they want to be when they grow up looking for ideas.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “A unicorn who flies into space but also has a jet pack butt.” “Oh dang that’s good…..*furiously scribbling notes*”
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
My friend's daughter is a kindergarten teacher. One of her students asked her where she works... as if taking care of 14 kids is just a hobby 🤣🤣🤣
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I'm 43 and still in school because I haven't figure that out completely myself.
Sharron Lindsay 3 years ago
I'm 56 and not in school but I don't know what I want to do
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Marie Goble 3 years ago
I’m 60 and I’m STILL trying to answer that question! Apparently, “independently wealthy” does not qualify as an answer…☹️ Not fair, because that’s REALLY what I want to be when I grow up!!!
Christopher Sonier 3 years ago
My teacher asked me what I wanted to do when I grow older. I replied, I want to sit around, watch TV, good nap when I want it. That's exactly what I do now. I'm retired. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional
#26
Student asked me if I had a job. Completely serious.
Jenelle Jarvis 3 years ago
Lol I’ve been babysitting my friends kids for almost 6 years and very recently the one told me i was lucky that I didn’t have to work I could just stay and play with them all day lol
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Kathi Schäffer 3 years ago
Nursery school teacher here. Can't count the number of times where I was like "okay, everyone, I'm off. See you tomorrow" and one of the kids goes "Are you going to work now?" .... Me (after 8 hours of dealing with toddlers, imagining another 8 hours of work) *cries silently* Disclaimer: I do love my job but it's stressful, to say the least
Will Quint 3 years ago
They think teachers live there because teachers are never late and if they take off of work they are probably gonna think they went to go get some coffee and milk (If you know the I’m going to get milk joke That’s what I’m sayin now.)
#27
When observing another teacher during my training year.
Q: How do you make a hormone
A: Don't pay her.
Could not contain my laughter.
Ada Hunter 3 years ago
omg my friend did something like this. she asked our biology teacher ‘what’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?’ and the teacher explains, then my friend says ‘but- but you can’t hear an enzyme-‘ and the teacher was like ‘uh yea- you can’t hear an enzyme-‘ and then she looked very confused and thought for a moment then said, ‘can you hear a hormone?’ the class all died. she didn’t get it.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
I had a very staid and proper supervisor. We were going to be discussing the horticulture program, and I just had to say, you can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think. She turned 23 shades of red and continued to do so anytime the program was mentioned.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
I got sick to death in medical classes every time the word hormone came up some lackwit had to say something like that. We were not 11 years old, get the hell over it.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
One of my professors in college hit us with that one waaay back in the 70s.
#28
Picture this: 7th Grade Science
Student A: Miss drivesonacid, where do babies come from?
Student B: Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they get a bottle of Scotch and a cheap motel room.
I loved that kid. He graduated a few years ago. His father thought that line was hilarious. I love parents like that.
Another class, 9th grade Earth Science
Student C: Miss drivesonacid, what's at the end of a black hole?
(Me preparing to actually explain black holes)
Student D: TuPac
Trillian 3 years ago
Please someone tell me there aren't any actual 7th graders (!) that don't know where babies come from????
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
Have a 16 years old kid asking when the world stop being black and white. Are you sure YOU WANT ME TO LIE TO YOU that have no 7 graders asking how babies are made.?!??
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Gawaget The Object Thingy 3 years ago
Blame the parents my husband had a daughter and I was pregnant when my youngest when she was in the 6th grade and she asked me about babies. I believe it's the mom's job and right to explain the facts of life in the way that the mom believes is appropriate so I told her to go ask her mom she comes back a week or so later very confused her mom told her that you poop babies out your b******e and I had swallowed a seed that grew into a baby dhe wanted to know what I ate lol I found a book called "it's perfectly normal" it explained everything in very easy language and as a bonus has chapters on hygiene and I recently bought a new copy for my youngest and it now includes info on the difference between sex and gender identity which I found helpful as a family member recently came out(is that what you say?) As transgendered and made it easier to explain to others
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
This is why I believe sex and puberty etc needs to be taught in schools, because a lot of parents won't teach it, or don't know enough themselves, or don't know the best way to approach it. If it is school, the teachers are trained in how to teach it and it reaches everyone.
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Cafesinner 3 years ago
It's a post from Reddit and that's their Reddit username
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Brenda 3 years ago
My mom was a teenaged parent at 16. She made sure we knew and answered all questions. Then we had a 2 day event in 5th grade explaining things. My son was 6 when I was pregnant with my daughter. He asked, we told him. Started talking to her about things at 5. When she finally started her period at 11, she calmly came to me and asked where her supplies were. We walked into my room to the closet. Hubby asked what we were after. She said "I started my period so I need the stuff mom and I bought." Hubby was a little embarrassed, but she wasn't.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Oh my! Legit questions if the parents leave the kids in the dark to avoid answering questions.
Miz Melatonin 3 years ago
Please someone else tell me they noticed the teachers name is drives on acid lol
#29
6th grader: "Would you rather get stabbed in the stomach, or have a bar of chocolate?"
YourAverageIdiot 3 years ago
Yep! Chocolate doesn't ask stupid questions. Chocolate understands.
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I am surprised BP didn't censor this one too... I would think stabbed would be enough to give them conniptions.
Casey Horn 3 years ago
if that kid was allergic to chocolate and no one knew yet… kind of sad but funny… he’s like “wait, you guys don’t feel like you’re going to DIE when you eat candy?!”
Richelle Berg 3 years ago
Is this a question about periods or something to do with IBS or any other digestive allergies or disease of?
Load More Replies... #30
A student's mom offloaded a hamster to the kindergarten class I was student teaching in. I asked the kid what the hamster's name was, and he simply responded "Bob Taco".
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I don't know why I like this so much, but I do. I wonder if Robert Taco is his full hamster name.
weegranny 3 years ago
My grandgirls have a pond in the back field into which the previous owners had put goldfish. Lots of goldfish. They throw out chicken feed. For them, and big schools of goldfish come to the dock. That’s how they discovered a large orange Carp also lives in the pond. The girls named him King Bob.
yvonne bee 3 years ago
I am so sorry to be this person, but you may want to re-work your sentence so it doesn't end with a preposition. I'm not a grammar expert, but it is a bit of a nag. Best to you!
Big Bryan 3 years ago
I don’t know whether or not this story is true, but it fits: Winston Churchill wanted his manuscripts typed exactly as he had written. When a typist “corrected” a sentence of his, he angrily circled the “correction” and wrote in the margin “This is the type of thing up with which I will not put!” Good lesson to learn.
Load More Replies... #31
My teacher asked the class “what do you guys want to be when you grow up”, kid replied “trash man”. She asked why and he said “pays better than your salary” she laughed and then sent him to the office anyway.
Final score:
172points
Madison Arthur 3 years ago
That was a petty move it's the truth whether it was offensive or not and the trash man is a very important part of this society one of the most important if he or she didn't show up you would have real problems just let them go 2 weeks without pickup get real lady
Simone Saur 3 years ago
If somebody has to do a job, it shouldn't be shameful or miserable. "trash man" was the job teachers threatened us with ("you'd better study or you'll be"). It was refreshing when i moved to a town with a couple of kids who genuinely wanted to be trash men. It was honest work, paid well, and they could ski all the time.
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Lynne Hammar 3 years ago
My boss said his son wants to be a trash truck driver because "they only have to work one day a week"
PotatoGirl31 3 years ago
LOL..And why wouldn't a kid think that?!! They only see them that one day that pick up THEIR garbage!!
Load More Replies... Charlie Birkner 3 years ago
Facts. The custodian at my daughter's school makes more than everyone there except the Principal and Assistant Principal. (since it's not a private school all the salaries are a matter of public record)
Sascha Rambeaud 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe she just wanted to raise awareness with the principal that even her students knew she needed an increased salary.
HIROX 3 years ago
That could have been a very calculated move by the teacher to get a raise. Think about it. That kid was going to have to explain why they were sent to the office right?
C C 3 years ago
"Calculated move by the teacher to get a raise." Teacher here, i laughed so hard at this!... A raise? Good one! Lol
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Marie Goble 3 years ago
WHY? That was a legitimate answer as the trash guy sadly does probably make more than most teachers. Just about everybody makes more than teachers, which is a sad commentary on where our priorities in our society are. Let me be clear — I’m in NO WAY disparaging trash guys or any other profession. Trash guys are an important part of our society and we’d be in a real mess without them (absolutely no pun intended). The kid who gave that answer was correct and certainly should not have been punished for it. Why go to school for eight years for two degrees when you can do just about ANY other job and make a lot more money??? The kid hit the nail right on the head!
Mary Peace 3 years ago
My friend's little boy wanted to be 'a dustman' (old-fashioned UK term). We asked his mother why, and she explained the boy thought they only work on Tuesdays.
#32
Once someone created a ritual and It erupted into an entire class thing.
Final score:
68points
J F 3 years ago
My daughter asked her kindergarten teacher, "what about the sense of humor or common sense?" When discussing the human senses.
BorrowedThoughts 3 years ago
oh, well proper common sense is quite a rare trait so its understandable that it wouldn't be included when learning about senses
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Polar_bear_lover 3 years ago
DONT LEAVE US HANGING!!!!! WHAT WAS THE RITUAL????????????????????????????? C'MON MAN/WOMAN, TELL US!!!!!
Procrastinating Panda 3 years ago
They would basically go "Oogashaka" "Oogashaka" "Oogashaka" while going around in a circle and stretching their arms out and shuffling.
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lazyNinjaCat 3 years ago
Happened in primary school to me too, one kid made a cat out of white paper (idk why lol) and started running around going "ALL HAIL WHITE CAT, WHITE CAT, WHITE CAT, ALL HAIL WHITE CAT" on repeat. Eventually there was a whole mob of children running around the oval demonically chanting "WHITE CAT". White cat was confiscated, kid stole it back, kept happening, and that, my friends, is the story of my weirdo friend.
elemental 3 years ago
lmao he literally made and worshipped a graven image i love it
Load More Replies... Keller Worthen 3 years ago
My math teacher may very well have been the one to post this... In 8th grade math class, we would all stand in a circle, grab a random persons hand, and create a "handshake circle". Also every day was Monday except for Monday which was Tuesday
William Stevenson 3 years ago
This could have been a real post but it would need nouns, verbs, maybe an adjective.
Philo Frost 3 years ago
Once in a science class in high school: Teacher was asking what happened as he lowered a thermometer in a lake and called on me for the first part . As I hadn't done thr assignment I guessed the temperature dropped, and was correct, luckily. Another student answered the second question correctly about if he lowered it again. He then asked the question what would happen if he lowered again, and no one raised their hand, so I did, and when he called on me (with the look like he was so glad I'd read the assignment) I answered with "a fish took it" in loud confident voice. The entire classroom broke up, except him. Later, in the same period he was telling us as he was playing golf one fall day, after a particularly big storm passed through, he saw a flock of geese flying north, instead of south. And then asked did anyone know why. I raised my hand immediately and he called on me warily. I promptly said "they forgot something ". That was when I was happily made to sit in the corner.
#33
“OF COURSE I HAVE MOOD SWINGS! I'M A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL!”
#34
Not a teacher but was working as a camp counselor, and we were teaching the kids about life cycles. One guy holds up a box with an adult frog skeleton in it and asks the group what stage of life this frog was in. One kid raised his hand and with all seriousness said, "The Bone Stage."
#35
Divide a fraction by a fraction? Is that even legal?
Lovin' Life 3 years ago (edited)
Oh the agony of math! I have math in uni this semester and the struggle is real. It's more words than numbers. It should be illegal 😋
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
I'm okay with math as long as it's letters and numbers. Start tossing those Greek symbols, and I'm gone.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I am just glad I don't have to take any more tests. I once missed two calculus classes in a row because I was sick. I came back and those people were speaking in tongues... I had no idea and had to drop the class.
Nubis Knight 3 years ago
It's not dividing, it's reducing the fraction, I learned doing it the same way using the dividing Symbol also it is confusing.
Trillian 3 years ago
You can divide fractions by multiplying it with the reciprocal. Reducing means just simplifying without changing the value. Like 10/15 is the dame as 2/3
Load More Replies... #36
At the time I was teaching middle school math and we were going through solving 2-step equations. We came to the point of having the students make their own “real-world” problems for them to solve and then have a partner solve the problems each made. The one caveat I put on the activity was that each situation had to be appropriate. One student then chimes in with, “So, that means we can’t make a question about dead hookers right?” It was extremely difficult not to laugh in front of a classroom full of 13 and 14-year-old middle schoolers. My step-mom still brings this up 7 years later.
Kate 3 years ago
8th grade algebra, we had to do little presentations explaining different functions -- additive identity, commutative property, things like that. One of my classmates used a story about his cat and the neighborhood tomcats to explain the distributive property. Teacher had her face in her hands.
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
You know, whenever teachers say that the problems you write have to be "school-appropriate", my mind always jumps to "What sort of dirty things could you possibly come up with for this?"
#37
One time my student said can you ask my dad if it’s ok that I want you to my “real mom”. I said you have a wonderful mom and he said but it’s not you. I wish you could put me to sleep at night bc I would feel so good. I never forget this or the job I signed up for.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
That's beautiful. But make me also think what kind of mother this kid had, to the point that he want to change her.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
This teacher has made a lasting impression on the child. I hope the real mom isn't abusive or something.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I hope someone was watching that sweet kid carefully for signs of neglect or abuse. Some parents can be really awful to their kids.
#38
First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess. Me - why you late? Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says “The ladies love this!” Sits down like nothing happened with no smile.
#39
I hope this comes outright since it is being typed. I had a student-run up to me and say... (exaggerated American accent) "I am half American and (exaggerated proper British accent) half English." I thought I would die laughing.
*witty retort* 3 years ago (edited)
As an American I can say I with utter confidence and sadness that this is true :(
#40
Me: Can anyone tell me some of the things we get from farms?
4th grader: Hamburgers.
Me: Ok. Sort of. If we take a hamburger apart, what all do we get from a farm?
4th grader: hamburgers come from hamburger farms Mrs. I read about it online.
adiiantryx 3 years ago
the dangerous, ever-spreading antivax/flat-earth mentality is having the knowledge of an adult and ignoring it for the ignorance of a 10 year old
Vicky De Raedemaeker 3 years ago
When i was a toddler i thought meat grew on trees... boy was i wrong
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
I thought potatoes were a type of meat and I was surprised to find that they grew in the ground.
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Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Can we please make visiting a farmer or doing a virtual farm tour a requirement for all 5th graders, pretty please?
DC 3 years ago
Yeah, and a slaughterhouse, too. If no bad happens there, why hide it? If there is something to hide, why do it?
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#41
6-year-old kindergarten student “My nana lives in Las Vegas.” Oh, that’s cool! “Yeah, but my mom is in jail.”
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
Hey, your nana happened to be in Vegas, and what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
#42
I teach high school. Last year a student asked, “wasn’t the Great Depression when there was no day?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like it was never day...”
“....no.”
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
I had a student tell me she thought WWII was between America and Britain and that, while she doesn't know who Hitler was, she will ask her grandma who she believed would know the answer. It was a General Knowledge test. Yes, she was in college.
*witty retort* 3 years ago
Did the education system do some sort of social experiment on her instead of teach her?
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Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I hope the teacher explained it to the child or they will forever be in the dark.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago (edited)
My adult sister had no idea who the Allies were, or that we fought Japan as well as Germany during WW2. She thought they were separate wars. She's older than I am. An adult co-worker was shocked to find out that Jesus lived "in Roman times" whatever that means. She asked if I knew that there were Romans that long ago. It's kind of amazing to me.
#43
Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?" Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?" It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Biology prof started class with "we'll review today. It's a dull discussion and I believe many were not mentally present". She was right, too.
#44
So many things. But a couple of favorites: 13-year-old student, "I know that this isn't math, but I can't remember -- is ham a fruit or a vegetable?" Another time I was sharing information about math in art and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said, "the pizza guy?". I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!" We were looking at The Last Supper.
Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago
Why do people keep down voting all your comments on this page? Here, I'll bring u out of the negatives
Load More Replies... Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago (edited)
Well, ham doesn't have indoor seeds so it must be a vegetable (Edit: had a brain fart and don't know if there's a special name for 'seeds in the inside of something)
#45
At Christmastime, I bring out an Elf who does mischievous things in the classroom and leaves the kids notes. One year I overheard a discussion between my students if the elf was real or not. One of the students replied "of course it's real, Mrs. EnchantedOcelot would NEVER lie to us"
#46
“Miss, I HAD to get my eyebrows done over the weekend because they were basically married. They were so close together it was like ‘you may kiss the bride.’”
#47
Last day of the school year I gifted the 7th grade with candy and allowed them to eat it in class. When they finished I said, "I don't want to see any trash on the ground!" So one of the kids picked his friend up and said "come on, the teacher doesn't want to see any trash on the ground." It was silly and I just couldn't stop laughing for a good 5 minutes.
#48
One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th. He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh". Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I wish we knew the ages of the children. This sounds like it might have been a joke at one time, like "we'll do it on September 31st" . My father used February 30th to signify never... when will we go fishing? February 30th.
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
My guess is that his family are Jehovah’s Witness. Since they don’t celebrate birthdays or acknowledge them as special days, he may well have no idea when it is and, as he’s not yet filling out forms for himself, they’ve seen no need to teach it to him, yet.
#49
I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted our, “Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It’s supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!”
PandaGoPanda 3 years ago
This one is fair enough - every childhood book reinforces the basic idea that the sun is out in the day and the moon at night.
henry weston 3 years ago
how has she not seen this before?! that is just not right.
Load More Replies... Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I hope this was explained and not made fun of or ignored. She was clearly confused and it was causing her great anxiety.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I know adults who don't know that the moon is often visible during the day.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
There are a lot of flat earthers who claim to believe this is impossible according to their brain-damaged and ludicrous models. They obviously also don't look at the sky when they go outside in the mornings.
LaToya Mack 3 years ago
I’m a big age and this has been causing me a lot of problems as of recent. Now of course the skies are much different than they were in the 70s which is where they made me at but at the same time - what’s going on? Is it harp⁉️ Because the skies are different cloud formations have changed rain doesn’t feel nurse meal the same everything is just a little bit upside down
Shelby P 3 years ago
Are you OK or is this some reference that went over my head
Load More Replies... #50
Grad Student, I have to TA for various professors, In my medieval history class, I had a student write in his paper "The story of Hrafkel's Saga takes place in the mythical land of Iceland." all the medieval studies grad students still laugh at that one. Also for a film class, I TAd we were watching Schindler's List and the professor shared a story about Holocaust survivors in her family, then a student said, in front of a class of 150 "Oh you mean you're Jewish? I thought they were extinct" I (also Jewish) and the professor just laughed. "People have tried for centuries but we naturally have thick hides" I ended up saying, at least we started a very heavy subject with some levity
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Yeah "Finland" with all of their "Laplanders" and "reindeer" and their "Nokia phones" and their "Linux". Tell me another one, grandma
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emer the unreal 3 years ago (edited)
when i was a kid i didn't know that any jews survived the holocaust. i also thought that settlers had killed all the native americans. i felt quite stupid when i met jewish kids in high school. i didn't know there were reservations in my state until college. i wasn't even an ignorant person. the way we were taught history is really bad.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
And all this time I thought Iceland was a real place. Has my whole life been a lie? And Jews are extinct? Wow! They aren't dinosaurs. Not really sure these students are grad school material just yet.
Claire 3 years ago
Teaching Assistant. They help professors at colleges, often in order to pay for grad school
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I've always thought Nebraska was fictional... no one I've ever met knows anyone from Nebraska, and no one knows anything about the state. I think it may be just a fictional place the FBI made up for the Witness Protection Program. /s
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
There was a bit of a tourism boom in Maine a couple years ago because of a tiktok that claimed Maine was in fact fake and made up by Stephen King. True story- I helped a few lost visitors that told me that (I live on a very long dirt road that leads nowhere but the beginning of it looks like a main road).
Load More Replies... #51
"Pennies aren't worth anything because you cant buy anything with them." I then had to explain what if you had a lot of them lol.
Prairiegirl 3 years ago
Canada stopped minting ours in 2012 but still price things as if we still use them.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Pennies aren't worth anything truly, and are an environmental problem. We should do away with them. No one misses ha'pennies any more.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Then everything worth 91 cents would have to be rounded up to 95, etc. etc.
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LaToya Mack 3 years ago (edited)
Remember that time we had a pandemic and there was a shortage of coins? Can somebody tell me when the flood gates opened back up because I live in Colorado and no one says anything about paying in exact change anymore or that there is a coin shortage. So what happened did we make more coins? A lot is happening in the world and nobody is saying anything especially nothing that truly makes sense? Remember that thing that made the world get the flu called Covid? It just went away and then all of a sudden it was like World War III popping off - what is going on and can the whole world take a damn chill pill, please!!! Dis tew MUCH
#52
I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as “miracle rounds”. He legit thought that’s what they were called. I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol
#53
Not a teacher, but once in my physical science class in 11th grade we were all sitting at our desks listening to the teacher talk about the planet Saturn not 1 second after she said, “Saturn” we hear some kid in the hall yell, “Saturn Sucks!!” And runoff. The whole class busted out laughing, even the teacher chuckled. It was so funny.
#54
I’m not a teacher but I heard one of my classmates ask another “are you Asian or Chinese?”
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
Are you a potato or a potato? Admit it, you read each potato differently!
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I don't know how old the child is, but I think it's pretty common, sets and subsets can be very confusing. I had a problem understanding that towns and cities are within states when I was tiny. I would say "I want to go to Florida" but mean Orlando.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
As they daughter of a vietNAMese woman in America I'm ashamed of the amount of times I've had to correct people when they say I'm "vietMANese". I felt this.
PandaGoPanda 3 years ago
The British government have an ethnicity survey on most forms which offer you a choice between different countries grouped under Asian, African etc - then Chinese comes under 'other'.
LaToya Mack 3 years ago
I am originally from Alabama a very small town of less than 1000 people so maybe this helps a little bit but I never grew up around a lot of Asians and I would ask Asian people what type of Chinese were they… then because I’m from Sumter county Alabama I had a hard time understanding the difference between Mexicans and Native Americans I still am struggling with that and I just turned 45. They look alike, like ALOT. I was at a transcendental meditation retreat and finally had someone explain to me the distinctive difference and how distinctive it is based on Warren and I listen and I understood but I don’t have an inner standing
#55
One of my fourth graders said that she saw the movie, Lincoln, when it came out. She started talking about it and then got really sad and said, “And then he died in the end!” I was like, oh my gosh. That’s shocking.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
yeah they should have made a more uplifting ending to that one. Like he wins the lottery and takes that trip to Rome he always wanted. Do some focus testing, people!
Amaranthim Talon 3 years ago
My fave though was finding out he was actually a Vampire Hunter!! Not kidding- google it ;)
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#56
student 1 playfully called student 2 gay and student 2 yelled “he just called me the G word”, student number 3 says “what, giraffe?”
not_at_school ;) 3 years ago
it can be super offensive to some people. it all comes down to preferences, not it being a "bad" word.
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fandomprincess (any pronouns) 3 years ago
I'd yell so that everyone could hear: 'omg guys! (student 1's name) actually made a correct observation! That's not something you see every day!' as I stand there in my doc Martens and earrings I made myself
Metallicd3ath 3 years ago
I got the implication that it wasn't a correct observation, in this case, but I guess it doesn't really say.
Load More Replies... #57
Not a teacher, but my English teacher was talking to the class and it somehow morphed into a discussion about money. Teacher: If I cared about money, I wouldn’t be doing this job Kid: But ms, don’t you have to take a lot of your work home with you? Teacher: Yeah we do. Kid: If I had to do that, I’d kill myself
#58
Michaelangelo's sculptures look like dudes with boobs slapped on them.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
To be fair, that IS pretty much what his depictions of women look like. There's a theory that he was gay or asexual and never actually saw a naked woman, because as brilliant as he was that is NOT how boobs work.
#59
Taught ESL for a year. Had an adorable 6-year old who could not say clock. We worked for weeks at it with her, she just could not say it. "Poppy, what time is it?" "Its 6 o'cock!" I couldn't help but laugh every time.
Ember 3 years ago
BP - You’re slacking in the ‘Blanking out words’ department! Now I have to stab out my eyes with pencils ✏️ lol
Scott Andrews 3 years ago
Perhaps they've been listening to the complaints about too much censorship, and changed their policy. Loads of people saying they want less censorship, now that's what's happened, and there's more complaints. They can't win!!!! :-D
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Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
My brother couldn't say my other brothers' name so he called him Henry. One day they were arguing cuz the younger one was calling our brother Henry and the younger one ran up to our mom and yelled "I didn't call him Henry this time I called him Henry". My mom and my other brother lost it laughing. I was not there.
#60
"Didn't your family pass away already?" A four-year-old asked me this out of nowhere.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
Four year olds think all grown ups are ancient. My niece once asked me if we had cars when I was little. Cars. smh.
Pogi Gwapo 3 years ago
🤣 That’s slightly worse than when a child asked me if I was sad when Hitler died (I’m 33)
Load More Replies... #61
Me: What does the word creep mean? Can you give me an example of something that may creep up on you?
Kindergarten Student: White People
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Not good at all! Racism is taught. Such a sad world we live in when people are taught white people or black people or any race is bad. Its disgusting and angering
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
Chill with the white tears, y'all. Just admit it, we walk sneaky.
Muntean Stefan 3 years ago
Maybe you, i trample like a hipo running to eat grass
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LaToya Mack 3 years ago
This kid actually lives in America this is not taught racism this is experiences….
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago (edited)
They are right. I'm white and sneaky as hell.
Load More Replies... Amaranthim Talon 3 years ago
Pitiful. And any one applauding this obviously racist behavior should be ashamed. Would you have answered differently if the kid said black folks were creepy? Oh, and btw, I would be "people of color" according to the wokers
#62
I live in Redding. during the carr fire last year, we weren't sure how long the school would be open. the air quality was awful and hot, burnt leaves and ash were raining down. my kids were all tuned into the radio, trying their hardest to figure out what was going on. the radio said that highway 299 was closed. one of my kids, about 6 years old, instantly had this look of panic on his face and asked me "911 IS CLOSED???" I just about peed my pants laughing.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I think this kid was scared, and shouldn't have been laughed at. Comforting reassurance would have been appropriate here.
Jonathan K 3 years ago
Laughter can also be comforting as people relax in tension filled instances.
Load More Replies... #63
Teaching seventh grade Language Arts. Failing at trying to put together a Socratic Circle. One student was leaning over his desk and stretching, letting his arms hang over the desk. Other students: “You got some long a** arms, boy.” Also, during a writing assignment where they were supposed to choose an object, they would be: “Fast food because first, you love me then I kill you.” I had to tell him it was inappropriate but... it was a creative answer.
What do you think ?
Jasper Cool 3 years ago (edited)
I used to work at a Boys and Girls Club with 180 kids. I would sometimes get asked about my facial mole by the 8-9 year old girls. Could you catch moles from someone else or was I born with it. When I told them I developed it in 4th grade one of them was panicked and said "Oh no you mean I could get one?" Hard not to laugh at a 9 year old's brutally honest horror about my facial mole. The sweetest and most surprising thing was that it was always the 6 year olds who noticed when my hair was cut or colored or I got my eyebrows shaped or dyed. Little six year old boys and girls telling me they liked my eyebrows was so heartwarming.
Luna Dusty 3 years ago
Talking about St. Patrick's Day and I asked the students, "What does the leprechaun give you if you catch him?" A kindergartener says without a beat, "A Motorcycle." 🤣
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Very cute! Kids are brutally honest and have a great sense of humor! I loved this post.
Res Earch 3 years ago
I had a teacher who once bought a Dunkin' Donuts donut hole to be our class pet (named Dunkin of course). He stayed on our blackbaord ledge for months. Then one day just before the super bowl (which our team was a part of that year), he brought in a brownie bite that we decided to name Krispy. We then started taking our yearly 4-hour-long state standardized test. About an hour into the test, the teacher called out "does anyone hear that noise?" A kid got up and checked the box Dunkin and Krispy were living in. The kid said Krispy had posters for the opposing football team and Dunkin had ripped her into pieces. This was all planned by the teacher. On a day when we were taking a state test. He was the best.
John Austin 3 years ago
A girl in my Algebra II class asked everyone's favorite cool teacher: "Mr. Buzz, When do we get our Testes back?". I will never forget that class.
Linda Tisue 3 years ago
A science teacher, I was teaching my class of 12 year old how to use microscopes. They wanted to look at all sorts of things including body secretions. Of course we did nasel secretions. I had just got sinusitis, so I suggested we compare mine to theirs. I had kids write about what they saw in their lab notebooks. Here is what one student wrote. Today was very exciting. I really enjoyed looking at Ms. Tissues' boogers because they looked different from my boogers and other peoples boogers. The boogers had different cells in them because she is getting over a sinus infection.
David Force 3 years ago
My daughter was a “selective mute” in preschool, meaning she refused to speak, so the teacher asked me to sit in class and observe. The kids are sitting in a circle as the teacher teaches them their colors. She points to her teeth and asks the class what color they are and my mute child yells out “yellow”.
Courtney 3 years ago
Senior year journalism the class had a debate, the entire class and teacher vs one girl in whether Winnie the Pooh's name was Winnie or Pooh. She was very determined its Pooh
Kori Chamberlain 3 years ago
Imagine a bear named Jeffery, Jeffery the Grizzly Bear, and this girl being dead set on the bear' name being Grizzly.
Load More Replies...
Jason Knowles 3 years ago
I was teaching grade 10s and this one kid, the class clown, kept teasing this quiet kid about his clothes. The quiet kid wore a lot of 'Boca" clothing. One day I decided to call him out in front of the whole class and put a stop to it. I said, "who do you think you are, Colin, the fashion Police?" Without missing a beat he said, "if I was, sir, I would have arrested you a long time ago!" Best burn of my career! I loved that kid...
Jasper Cool 3 years ago (edited)
I used to work at a Boys and Girls Club with 180 kids. I would sometimes get asked about my facial mole by the 8-9 year old girls. Could you catch moles from someone else or was I born with it. When I told them I developed it in 4th grade one of them was panicked and said "Oh no you mean I could get one?" Hard not to laugh at a 9 year old's brutally honest horror about my facial mole. The sweetest and most surprising thing was that it was always the 6 year olds who noticed when my hair was cut or colored or I got my eyebrows shaped or dyed. Little six year old boys and girls telling me they liked my eyebrows was so heartwarming.
Luna Dusty 3 years ago
Talking about St. Patrick's Day and I asked the students, "What does the leprechaun give you if you catch him?" A kindergartener says without a beat, "A Motorcycle." 🤣
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Very cute! Kids are brutally honest and have a great sense of humor! I loved this post.
Res Earch 3 years ago
I had a teacher who once bought a Dunkin' Donuts donut hole to be our class pet (named Dunkin of course). He stayed on our blackbaord ledge for months. Then one day just before the super bowl (which our team was a part of that year), he brought in a brownie bite that we decided to name Krispy. We then started taking our yearly 4-hour-long state standardized test. About an hour into the test, the teacher called out "does anyone hear that noise?" A kid got up and checked the box Dunkin and Krispy were living in. The kid said Krispy had posters for the opposing football team and Dunkin had ripped her into pieces. This was all planned by the teacher. On a day when we were taking a state test. He was the best.
John Austin 3 years ago
A girl in my Algebra II class asked everyone's favorite cool teacher: "Mr. Buzz, When do we get our Testes back?". I will never forget that class.
Linda Tisue 3 years ago
A science teacher, I was teaching my class of 12 year old how to use microscopes. They wanted to look at all sorts of things including body secretions. Of course we did nasel secretions. I had just got sinusitis, so I suggested we compare mine to theirs. I had kids write about what they saw in their lab notebooks. Here is what one student wrote. Today was very exciting. I really enjoyed looking at Ms. Tissues' boogers because they looked different from my boogers and other peoples boogers. The boogers had different cells in them because she is getting over a sinus infection.
David Force 3 years ago
My daughter was a “selective mute” in preschool, meaning she refused to speak, so the teacher asked me to sit in class and observe. The kids are sitting in a circle as the teacher teaches them their colors. She points to her teeth and asks the class what color they are and my mute child yells out “yellow”.
Courtney 3 years ago
Senior year journalism the class had a debate, the entire class and teacher vs one girl in whether Winnie the Pooh's name was Winnie or Pooh. She was very determined its Pooh
Kori Chamberlain 3 years ago
Imagine a bear named Jeffery, Jeffery the Grizzly Bear, and this girl being dead set on the bear' name being Grizzly.
Load More Replies... Jason Knowles 3 years ago
I was teaching grade 10s and this one kid, the class clown, kept teasing this quiet kid about his clothes. The quiet kid wore a lot of 'Boca" clothing. One day I decided to call him out in front of the whole class and put a stop to it. I said, "who do you think you are, Colin, the fashion Police?" Without missing a beat he said, "if I was, sir, I would have arrested you a long time ago!" Best burn of my career! I loved that kid...
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