People are really bizarre creatures. Although we usually blame cats for being the world’s biggest weirdos, honestly, we don’t fall far behind.
You see, we all have small rituals and odd quirks we do when feeling comfortable enough that nobody is watching, and if anyone asked why, we would probably be short of words.
So when a Redditor asked “What's the strangest thing you've ever been caught doing?” on AskReddit, the thread was destined to become a source of entertainment. And more. You know how people can’t stop cringing when watching 50 Day Fiance or The Bachelor? You are likely to feel similarly when reading through the most interesting responses we selected right below.
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My ex-girlfriend once caught me playing her cat like a banjo. I had the cat's front paws in my hand, and I strummed his tummy. The cat was purring so loud that it made her come in to see what was going on.
I was called in to assist my wife with putting together a friend's baby shower when her helper bailed at the last minute. My job was to prep the "dirty diaper game" which, if you've not heard of it, is played like this: an assortment of name brand candy bars and chocolates are unwrapped and then mushed into a diaper so as to resemble a baby's dirty diaper. The game participants then assess the contents of each "dirty" diaper and have a guess at what candy bar might be lurking within. Whoever has the most correct answers wins.
Because I was called in at the last minute, I had to complete the task while at work...
So there I was, in my office, fifteen or so diapers laying open on my desk, sleeves rolled up, hurriedly rolling what appeared to be a gooey, nutty turd in my hands...when my boss walks in.
We make eye contact.
He glances at my work, looks at me as though I am dangerously unstable, then slowly steps back out of the office without saying a word.
We've never spoken of it.
I picked up a pizza and was super excited to eat it. I put it in the passenger seat of my car and said something along the lines of, 'I'm gonna take you home and [mess] you up!' I then realized that my window was open, and so was the window of the car next to me. The driver had watched and heard me talk dirty to a pizza.
If you’re a fan of popular reality shows, I don’t need to tell you how secondhand embarrassment feels. This phenomenon is often followed by uncontrollable cringe, an immediate tense in the body as if you were ready to evacuate it, aka “get outta here.” Reading these stories may too give you this feeling, and if they did, the chances are you’re far from the only one.
So you may wonder what exactly happens to us and our brains when we feel embarrassed for someone else. Emma Azzopardi, a psychotherapist and developing clinical psych, argues that our experience of secondhand embarrassment tells us much more about ourselves than we’d think. Turns out, it is related to our ability to empathize with the embarrassment or shame that another might feel, she told Refinery29.
When I bought my first pair of night vision goggles, I had them delivered to the TV station I worked at (not trusting my neighbors to leave my [stuff] alone).
So, I took a break and tried them out in the only truly dark room I could find. The mens room.
A coworker came in, flicked on the lights, and was startled to find me in the middle of the room, blinded by the sudden flash of normal light, brushing my teeth in the pitch dark with night vision goggles.
I had to go talk to HR about it. He was freaked out.
I was in standstill traffic (ie car had been turned off, people where loitering outside of their cars) and I had a baby squirrel that I was hand rearing in my car. I fed it some puppy milk formula from a bottle, looked up and realised I had an audience of about twenty people gawking at me
Me, newlywed to my then-husband. Had to leave our apartment and move in with his somewhat disabled mother. Two weeks in, he and I are having sexy times in our bedroom. Specifically, hes going downtown and eating at the Y. MIL knocks and immediately opens the door, saying "dinners on the table!". Awkward pause. Everyone freezes. His face is buried in my crotch. She stands shock still, then huffs, and says "Well, I see you've already eaten," slams the door and goes away.
We giggle, recoup, and go to eat. Most awkward meal of my life.
"As social animals, empathy is a key trait that evolved to help us to be part of a community and to live harmoniously within it. We recognize embarrassing situations for others through neural pathways activated in the anterior cingulate cortex and the left anterior insula regions of the brain. These are regions implicated in the experiencing of 'social pain' related to the situations that others, rather than us, find themselves in. It is these same cortical structures that are involved in the mental responses we would have if we witness the physical pain of another person."
When I was like 14, we got Jehovah’s Witnesses at our front door and my mother walked downstairs just in time to hear me say, “this is a strictly Satanist household and we shoot missionaries on sight.”
My parents are Jewish.
Im an ex JW. I got in trouble a few times for "air knocking" so no one opened the door when it was my turn to preach their b.s propaganda. No regrets either!
My friend and I went to the movies and thought the place was empty, so we started running around and flailing our arms. Turns out, there was a man sitting in the far back corner the whole time just watching us.
When I was 14, I wanted to try to drink like a dog. I put a bowl on the floor and filled it with Fanta. My dad walked into my room where I was kneeling on the floor with my tongue in the bowl. He has never mentioned it since.
Parents of teenagers may see a lot of odd things. Frequently, it's easier just not to question it.
Driving my car through traffic. Have little trial sized hand lotion in my center console and my hands are dry-ish so I dispense the recommended amount and start rubbing it in. Traffic moves and I have to steer, accidentally get some lotion on my steering wheel. Which is leather. Now the part I touched is shiny and the rest isn't. Don't like the way that looks so I dispense more lotion and start working it into the leather. Now, this makes the rest of the leather bits look dull and pretty soon I am all in with this, lotioning whatever I can reach. Casually glance to my left left and there is a car full of people staring directly at me, eyes wide, as i thoroughly massage the interior of my vehicle like some sort of Buffalo Bill esqe auto enthusiast.
Late to the party but here goes.
When I was ten or eleven I snuck a certain magazine I was fairly interested in into the bathroom. I spent way too long in there with it. On my way out I heard a lot of noise outside the bathroom. So I decided to hide the mag under my shirt in front of my chest. Exiting the bathroom I had to pass by the living room in which my father and all his siblings were siting in. Three aunt’s and an uncle. He shouted for me as I passed by, “Hey get back here! What’s under your shirt?”
I walked back slowly, head held low. He reached into my shirt in front of everyone and grabbed the magazine. The look of confusion on his and everyone else’s faces when he produced the Nintendo Power was priceless.
I can’t remember why, but I was in the shower and started loudly reciting the trailer for Gremlins 2. I stepped out of the bathroom and my mom was there pissing herself with laughter.
I once ran up the stairs on all fours. I hadn't realized that my best friend had already come over.
Walking across the road to the dumpster with a bag of trash. One arm pulled into my hoodie. Flapping it like a wing, and slowly moving forward while going in circles. Saying to myself "Flying in circles, flying in circles." Realizing that I was not circling in the right direction for the 'wing' I had and reversing to circle oppositewise. Saying "Flying in circles the wrong way."
Come back inside and find that my whole family had been watching me.
I was at an old tourist junk store that was 3 stories named the Gay Dolphin- I’m like 17 and I let out the biggest fart and asked my sister- “did you hear that lol”
Like 30 mins later we are on the 3rd floor basement looking at sharks teeth and this old man walks by and goes, “I heard that” and just keeps walking.
I once had a coworker who worked at a customer site and had a crush on one of the women who worked there, too. One day, the woman came back from lunch and saw him pick up the cushion from her chair and sniff it. He was asked to leave.
As a toddler, my dog bit my diaper so, in retaliation, I bit my dog in the butt, and my mother caught me.
I was like 13 or 14 in my room alone, my window wide opened, when I started to wonder if I ever got kissed what the other person would be seeing from their perspective, so I went up to my closet, which had those floor length mirrors and I started kissing the mirror, opening my eyes every once in a while to see if I looked at all attractive doing this, one of those times I opened my eyes I saw my brother outside my wide open window through the mirror looking at me with such a confused look on his face, I screamed and fell to the floor and hid in my room for a while.
In Skyrim, I went and collected thousands of cabbages and filled my house completely, and was running around laughing.
Hard to explain to someone who walks in, and sees you looking at a screen full of cabbages laughing your ass off.
It was 3am and 15 year old me was taking a [poop] and got a blood nose. Now for context, I get real bad nose bleeds and usually just keep my head up and it goes away. Well I was bored. So I thought, “what if I just keep my head down and let it drip?” I know... very stupid. Blood was all over the floor. I had every intent to just clean it up with tissues and flush it, no evidence of my little experiment. What I didnt know was that my mum was actually awake and was waiting for me to finish in the toilet for her turn. I didnt lock the door because it was 3am and I didnt think I needed to. Well... she opens the door... “SemenDemon16 why are you taking so l-“ She sees the blood, starts freaking tf out. Thinks I’m either dead or dying. I start yelling trying to explain myself. Mum starts crying thinking shes gonna lose her son. My sister walks out her room from the crying and the yelling. Sees the blood. Freaks tf out as well. After a bit of panic I eventually explained my stupid experiment. I cleaned it up and we all went to bed. But I dont think anybody slept after that traumatic experience.
A UPS delivery guy once caught my grandma biting her toenails. She was in the sunroom with the screen door open, and the guy walked up to the door and witnessed that.
I was doing inventory in my freezer and the freezer in inside the store's cooler. Obviously, it was freezing, and my boobs got the worst of it that day. I walked out of the freezer cupping my boobs with my hands and doing some lamaze type breathing, and saying, "cold titties, ooh, ohh, ha." Did not realize the Pepsi vendor was there. Made awkward eye contact and I scurried out and did not return until he was gone. Thankfully, he never brought it up.
He could have been like, "Hey this Pepsi is a little warm, could you help me out"
One time my girlfriend and I had just left the house. She then remembered she needed something and went back in. Now, our house (Golders Green, London), was semi-detached with the neighbours house.
The neighbours motorbike was kind of in our shared front yard. Since I was waiting for my girlfriend, I decided to sit on the motorbike.
I heard the front door of the house close behind me, so, trying to be funny for my girlfriend, I leaned over the tank of the motorbike and started pretending to rev the throttle and making Vrrooom, Vroom motorbike noises. Like, really getting into it. I didn't hear any laughing, so I turned around and it was actually my neighbour standing there with this wtf look on his face.
Having an argument with my houseplants about their watering schedules. They had their own voices too.
I was once a server, and we have ranch dressing in bags, which were so satisfying to squish. I started doing it the way cats do it with their paws against something. I looked to my left and saw my manager staring at me.
I used to love the feel of the sachets of fabric softener and would go down the supermarket aisle going "squishiable, squishiable, squishiable.
Oh man. So I must have been about 12. I was in the car with my mom - to set the scene it was a three row soccer mom van and I was in the second row behind the passenger seat with my mom driving. Well since I was 12 I got my random hormone boner, strange and awkward enough right? Well I decide that I would pretend I was driving and that my boner was the stick shift... mom caught me.
One time, I was popping my friend’s back by picking him up from behind and bouncing him repeatedly. A teacher walked in the room and we both froze.
As a pet sitter, sometimes you get lonely when the majority of your interactions are with animals. Sooo, to combat this I sometimes pretend to be the inner voice of whatever dog I'm walking, responding out loud to whatever they're sniffing or whatever grabs their attention. Each dog has his/her own weird voice as well. More than once people have walked around a corner to hear me doing this.
My father once saw me put my foot up on a chair and smack my own [butt]. My leg had fallen asleep.
I was 14 getting it on with my hand and surround sound headphones...my dad walks in on me half asleep and mumbles, “what are you doin boy?” And shuts the door, but then COMES BACK IN TO VERIFY WHAT HE’S WITNESSED and has the audacity to say “you playin’ with yer meat?”
In basic training, we got back to our bunks late, were all exhausted and my body felt broken. Instead of taking a shower I decided to clean my self with babywipes. Usually nobody is paying attention to you because they all have their own things to do, but someone watched me wipe my groin area, under my pants and then proceed to stuff it in a drawer in my bed because I was to tired to get up and throw it away. The person watching me said "WTF are you saving that for later or something?"
In third grade, I went to the bathroom and, thinking I was alone, put my hands against the wall, leaned forward, and let out a long gigantic fart. I turned around and saw that some other kids had come in as I had released that massive fart.
I was a kid and creeped out by cousin's creepy doll, one morning me and the doll were alone in her room and I grabbed the doll and started to shake it and while I was yelling at it that I knew it could talk, my cousin walked in and was like what are you doing?? And I brought the doll close to me and caressed it and said I was just kidding. She kept the doll away from me after that
Arguing with myself (well, not myself - the actual person just wasn't there, so I was standing in) in the mirror. With animated facial expressions and gestures. Lips moving, but with no sound. I now reserve these hypothetical arguments for the shower. When I am home alone.
One of my old roommates walked in on me singing naked into a hairbrush once.
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When my husband and I had just started dating I stayed over his house. His dog slept in his room. His mom chased the dog while we were all eating breakfast bc the dog had something in his mouth. It was the condom he threw away the night before.
I once tried to hoover my laptop keyboard to get rid of all the crap (weed and tobacco tbh) between the keys and accidentally hoovered up one of the keytops off it. It was a hoover with a bag so I took the bag out and was feeling it from the outside for the key but because I didn't know exactly how a key in a hoover bag would feel I then took off another key and popped it into the top of the bag so i could...(yeah, yeah...i know, dumb idea but I did say weed was involved) see what it felt like sure in the knowledge that once I'd felt that one, I'd be more able to find the original.. dropped it too far and lost that one too. So.. i got a plastic sheet and took off my clothes as I didn't want to get them covered in all the crap... and about 5 minutes later I was sat crossed legged on the floor with a hoover bag full of dust between my legs and pretty much all over me.. in just my boxer shorts - and that's how my flatmate saw me when he came in from work. Like I'd got some dust fetish
I was lying in bed, avoiding getting up for the day, and I decided I wanted to know if I could still roll my "R"s ten years after my last Spanish class. So I muttered to myself, "Burrito," over and over, trying to get the "R" sound correct. I didn't realize my boyfriend was home. He just stood out in the hallway listening to me, until he finally said, "What. The Hell. Are You Doing?"
When my husband and I had just started dating I stayed over his house. His dog slept in his room. His mom chased the dog while we were all eating breakfast bc the dog had something in his mouth. It was the condom he threw away the night before.
I once tried to hoover my laptop keyboard to get rid of all the crap (weed and tobacco tbh) between the keys and accidentally hoovered up one of the keytops off it. It was a hoover with a bag so I took the bag out and was feeling it from the outside for the key but because I didn't know exactly how a key in a hoover bag would feel I then took off another key and popped it into the top of the bag so i could...(yeah, yeah...i know, dumb idea but I did say weed was involved) see what it felt like sure in the knowledge that once I'd felt that one, I'd be more able to find the original.. dropped it too far and lost that one too. So.. i got a plastic sheet and took off my clothes as I didn't want to get them covered in all the crap... and about 5 minutes later I was sat crossed legged on the floor with a hoover bag full of dust between my legs and pretty much all over me.. in just my boxer shorts - and that's how my flatmate saw me when he came in from work. Like I'd got some dust fetish
I was lying in bed, avoiding getting up for the day, and I decided I wanted to know if I could still roll my "R"s ten years after my last Spanish class. So I muttered to myself, "Burrito," over and over, trying to get the "R" sound correct. I didn't realize my boyfriend was home. He just stood out in the hallway listening to me, until he finally said, "What. The Hell. Are You Doing?"
