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30 Things That People Thought They Wanted So Much, Yet Regretted After Finally Getting, As Shared In This Online Group
The human mind is a strange thing, especially when it comes to our desires. They can arise completely spontaneously, occupying all our time - and then, when we finally achieve what we wanted, it suddenly turns out that the main joy was not so much from possession, but actually from the desire to possess.
So it turns out that over the years of our life, we have collected a whole lot of various things that once seemed absolutely necessary, and now we don’t even have a clue what to do with them. It's really like a suitcase without a handle - so hard to carry, such a shame to throw away. Yes, these are mind games, there's no denying it.
There is a popular thread on Reddit where people talk about different things they once thought they wanted, but really regretted afterwards. More than 12.7K upvotes and almost 8.4K comments suggest this topic is very close to people.
Bored Panda has compiled a curated list with the most popular and really ingenious things from this discussion. We strongly suppose you'll be interested in reading and watching - and, perhaps, will also have something to share.
More info: Reddit
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A backyard pool.
I always wanted one until I had one.
It was a huge pain in the a**. Had to buy chemicals, had to test the water, had to clean it, found dead snakes in the skimmer baskets, had to get the pump replaced, etc.
I agree with what several commenters have said. If you can afford to have someone do the work for you then it's something really nice to have. If you can afford the mortgage on the house with the pool but still mow your own lawn, clean your own house, etc. The pool is likely to be more trouble than it's worth.
I bought a collection of lockdown gym equipment I had all good intentions for. It turns out a lack of free time wasn’t really the reason I wasn’t ripped.
Being an adult...
As a child I couldn't wait to grow up. As a working adult, I couldn't wait to retire and I'm finding it isn't what I had hoped. It is easy to focus on the what you will gain in the next phase of your life, but you don't realize what you will lose. Just enjoy the good things in each day.
Marine fish tank. They look absolutely gorgeous when clean and running well however I didn't bank on how difficult it would be to have it clean and running well..
Ex husband had one of these. I really didn't want a small section of ocean in the living room, OK. A year later: SO MUCH MONEY. SO MANY DEAD FISH. SO MUCH FREAKING OUT OVER MONEY AND DEAD FISH. Then he got into reptiles.
Taking out student loans to achieve a degree that will never pay me enough to pay back the student loans.
Anyone in the US that reads this. Very few professions care about what school you went to. Or even physical locations. The few I can think of are doctors, hyper specific job that are also based at MIT, ect. For everything else. Get your generals done through a community college. History and math 101 are the same there as they are at Harvard only way cheaper. Do as much online as possible. And if you are still in highschool. See what programs/classes your school offers that will count as college credits. If you stack your classes right you could walk out of HS with an associates degree. Also also, once you start the Bachelor's degree things at least get funner. They are classes you care about. Because they are in the field you are interested in.
Working a job that involves skills from one of my hobbies. Now it feels more like work than the hobby.
I found the opposite to be true. I'm a metal fabricator that I started as a hobby. I now do it for a living and now I have access to equipment that I would never have been able to afford let alone have room for. I have also become so much better (there's so many people who are better than me) than I would have if I had kept it just a hobby
A business. Supposedly my dream job….but I haaaate it.
Yes, I own a bakery that I’ve run for 13 years. It’s successful, always paid its bills….but it’s definitely zapped the joy out of a hobby. Anyone that has worked with the public knows it’s taxing. I’ve lost the creative aspect and just feel like a slave to it honestly. Bakery hours can be rough, so maybe it’s the lack of sleep catching up to me, lol. I just know that I was already feeling burned out, but now with the insane increase to costs of supplies - and the unpredictability of finding certain things altogether, I’ve decided this will be my last year in business.
This is sad. I wonder if finding a different way to structure the business would be better. Such as making products upon order. So you have a menu of a few products that can be made with a more limited ingredients list and get customers to place a order for that product to be made and ready for pick up. That way ready-made products aren't going to waste. I always wonder how much of the products I see in bakeries get sold.
Being single
I’m a 25 y/o gay male that was dating an older man. We had a great life together. I thought I wanted to be single because I needed the experience of living on my own/having other partners, but now realizing I lost something truly special. It’s hard learning to date again
The experience of living alone is a valuable one to have, if you are fortunate enough to be in a position to manage it. It's possible to have that experience and still be in a committed relationship though.
Go pro.
I don’t even go on a picnic. What the f**k did I need a go pro for.
Buying a new ski boat. Expensive, too big to keep in the garage and burned $80 in gas in an afternoon (when gas was still affordable). Mostly I pulled the kids and their friends on wake boards or kneeboards around and around in circles while the air temperature was close to 100 and came home dehydrated and with a headache. A happy day is when you buy a boat. A happier day is when you sell that b***h.
To get off my meds. Did. Was absolutely terrible . Went back on them probably for the rest of my life
Waterbed. Biggest waste of money. Spent 1k on the most uncomfortable bed ever. Practically broke my back and sold it for 100 after just a year of using it.
Nose ring. Once I got it, it just felt like I had a booger in my nose that I couldn’t get rid of
My art degree from a private institution. It’s “nationally accredited“ which means its useless
I won't have to work another day in my life!
I became disabled in 2019
I can't understand this attitude. I, unfortunately was forced into disability myself. My culinary career was my entire life. I would get up in the morning, dress and head off to work. I would spent the entire day, often until late at night there, go home, shower, go to bed and wake the next morning to gladly start it all over again. This was my way of life and I adored it. My health improved a bit, so I began volunteering in one of the local kitchens cooking for the homeless. Last summer alone I put in over 100 hours for them and others and was happy as a clam again. Things have taken a bit of a downturn again, but I still look for ways to help.
Massage chair. I enjoyed the demo in the shop, that's about it.
an open relationship
My husband and I agreed to having an open relationship. It was one of the WORST decisions I ever made. If anyone is contemplating trying an open relationship, DON'T!
I made the same mistake with a past boyfriend and as soon as I acted upon it, I realized what an absolute recipe for disaster it was and why I even considered in the first place. I'm glad I once "tried" to have an open relationship though, as I now know it just doesn't work and will only screw things up so I never have to consider it again.
Load More Replies...It isn't for everyone. :) That doesn't mean it's for no one. It's ok if something doesn't work for you. It's not ok for people to judge others, unless they are willing to receive judgement back. If we criticize those different from us, we are saying it's ok for them to do the same to us.
yeah, that's just toxic positivity. Judgements can save your life. Criticism isn't bad either. We all can do better in our lives. Its when you condemn people, not judge or being a critic.
Load More Replies...Opening a relationship has to be done from a strong, stable one where everyone is genuinely onboard and communication is already a priority, especially for hard conversations that will definitely come up. It's not going to save a failing relationship, and it's a recipe for disaster if one person is dragging the other one along kicking and screaming. My husband and I have been open for 7+ years, but we talked about and were fascinated with ethical non-monogamy for pretty much our whole relationship. In college, we'd talk to each other about our class crushes. (I want to share in what makes my partners happy, and sometimes that's the cute girl in Econ that gives them butterflies when she sits nearby!) Love isn't a finite resource. TIME is, and time management can get a little hairy, and shared Google Calendars are basically a necessity. DMs are open if anyone is curious!
The only thing you said correct is that love isn't a finite source. Isn't as in is not. Finite as meaning limited. Love is the only thing in this universe that is infinite. The more you give, the more you have to give. Love never runs out. Time on the other hand is very limited. You are only allowed so many seconds in a minute, so many minutes in an hour , so many hours in a day, so many days in a lifetime. You will always run out of time before you run out of love. If you claim otherwise, then you truly don't know what love is.
Load More Replies...An open relationship is not exclusive and eventually will fall apart
I do have an open relationship. Not all cultures rely on the "monogamous lifestyle". We tried that, worked fine, but me trying to avoid others only made both of us suffer. I need to talk to people, I'm able to have love for more than one person, and it's not something I can control. So, I just thought it was natural to me, told my boyfriend that me having feelings for others didn't mean I had less feelings for him, and himself was like "whatever, it's not a big deal". And he agreed to me having friends with benefits. He knows who I see, when I see someone, what I do. We communicate, I often check he is okay with the situation. Didn't really changed our everyday life. I just stopped feeling bad for having love and desire... And I think an open relationship was a way for us to think about and change the classic relationship and adapt it to how our own relationship works. It's only society who tells one he has to love and desire only one person. It's not true for everyone.
It can be brilliant if it's what both parties want and you agree to some rules. When in doubt don't do it. A boyfriend I had many years ago wanted an open relationship and after talking about it I agreed. Some time later I had a "fling" over. Bf came over unannounced, came in the bedroom looking for me and went absolutely ballistic. I guess the idea he had was that he could sleep around under the guise of having an open relationship, but I was supposed to stay monogamous? (no, the relationship didn't last lol). On the other hand, I have also dated a few couples so to say. Meet both, get to know each other a bit (they all had a rule that the other had to agree with who the partner sleeps with), then the woman would go on a date with her lover and I would date the guy. There were never any issues. But like I said, both parties have to want it and you need some strict rules you can both fully agree with
There is quite a bit of difference in true love and close friendship. There were a number of times when we had been out with our other friends and ended up in bed because we simply needed to be with each other; not a stranger, not the loves of our lives, but someone we could truly trust. We would wake up the next morning (a bit hungover generally) with a hug and kiss on the cheek and go about our ways. When we would meet again it would never be with "Hey baby, wanna get your rocks off?" but "Hi, how you doing, how's work going?"
What does that mean, it failed? They broke up at some point? That's normal for monogamous relationships, too. People change. Would they have stayed together (and happy) if at least one partner's needs had stayed unfulfilled for all time?
Load More Replies...They never actually work, people can stop pretending they might work for some others.
My husband and I have been together almost 15 years (holy s**t), married for 11 and polyamorous for about 7 I think. His other long-term partner and I have become best friends, even after an incredibly, incredibly rocky first year between us. She's a sister to me and I genuinely can't imagine my life without her at this point. They've been together over 5 years I think? Can't remember their anniversary at the moment. My other partner and I will have been together 5 years in July, and I've been defacto stepmom to his son most of that time, traveling between the country I'm from to the country my kid lives in every few months for 4-6 weeks. My relationships don't look like everyone else's, but they're stable, committed and open. Communication and shared Google Calendars are key. It definitely doesn't work for everyone, but it really can work for some.
Load More Replies...It's certainly not a good idea if you start out as a monogamous relationship. A recipe for trouble.
They always seem like a bad idea. Nobody wants to be the runner up in a relationship, and it's almost impossible to be fair. What if one enjoys it, but the other doesn't. Do they suffer through it, or lose the person they care for? Sounds terrible.
One of my best friends entered into an open relationship. Being her free therapist was exhausting. The complaints all ended up being the same and no amount of help or advice I gave her was ever used.
*Most* "open relationships", not all (just the ones that have had absolutely no homework being done in regards to it) have been hyper romanticized by single friends(who are serial cheaters) for "helping" their committed friends find ways around cheating. Remember kids, be careful what you wish for with that open relationship, you will get it and what's good for the initiator is good for both. ie: it does go both ways. Even when the intentions are even at their most pure, things can still go awry, as it is with any relationship, it's important to remember to set boundaries and respect said boundaries. Last and most importantly, poly isn't for everyone like everyone getting into it thinks, it's for very few people and is not a "cheat for free card". Of you want to cheat, and your relationship. If you don't want your relationship ending, don't cheat. It's very simple. No, I'm not poly, it's not for me, I'm just very open minded and have been blessed the gift of foresight and seeing past people's BS. Poly wisely, my friend.
Ironically, but unsurprisingly, it seems to me that whenever one person asks for an open relationship, it is because they wanted to cheat(or are already cheating) their partner. This way, provided they can influence their partner to accept, they "save" both their image and consciousness...until their partner finds someone better and suddenly it's all about regrets. Seen this story many times.
You need an extremely hearty mentality, understanding, and thick skin for this to work. You can't get jealous because your partner has more partners than you, you have to be able to trust they won't leave you for one person or another, and you need to trust in yourself that you aren't going to react, because it is open. It's possible, just not a thing for many, as it's also extremely physically and mentally taxing.
Oxymoronic. If you're in a "relationship", it's supposed to be exclusive to the people directly, currently involved in it. Family, marriages, friendships. Not strangers you take a fancy to bc you're bored with your SO.
What's an open relationship? They always mention them on stuff here but I don't understand.
lots of different possibilities, but the basic idea is that you are still in a serious relationship, just you are both able to see other people, too. can work really well! can also be super bad!
Load More Replies...It's excellent if you have an extremely rational personality, and if you do it right. If you are opening an existing relationship that is failing because you think that will fix it, that's not doing it right 🤷🏼♀️
To counterpoint all those saying open relationships are a mistake: not every relationship style works for every person. Often the transition can be a bit of a strain on an already existing relationship, especially if neither of you have been in an open relationship before. *Honesty and communication are key!* Whether you're experimenting in a previously monogamous relationship, or navigating ground rules in a new one; talk with your partner, agree to the parameters of the open play, and also how much you do or don't want to know about outside involvement. And then stick to your agreement, anything outside of it is still cheating. For contrast, I have been in an open relationship for over a decade, and it's the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had. My partner is truly my best friend, and we support each other through our side relationships, it brings us closer together
My husband and I have been poly for 6 years and it works very well for us. Communication and trust are the key; if you're considering it, there's a great website, morethantwo dot com, for information
Don't be in a relationship if you want to sleep with more then one person. They don't work. One ALWAYS gets pushed out
I think most people who want an open relationship and not polyamory are primed to have a bad experience with it. Poly relationships can work, but they're very different, and having casual sex outside of a monogamous relationship is yet another, very different beast. I'm sure there are counterexamples I'm not aware of, but generally, you can't just take a monogamous relationship that started as such, remove the monogamy part of it, and expect it to be just as functional as it was before...
It's the only kind of relationship i would even consider. I've tried closed before. It always ends abusively, especially with men. When the relationship starts with the understanding that everyone involved remains individuals and there is to be no policing of other relationships/nature of relationships or any entitlement to feel possessive to begin with....you pretty much immediately weed out the most toxic people. (Including those who seek for OPPs, unicorn hunting, etc unhealthy dynamics in closed poly relationships/relationships based on numbers rather than true connection)
A house in the country. Was fun at first, have land, can do what I want. But now it’s a pain to get anything serviced on the house, deliveries take longer, and it’s a pain to go grocery shopping or just into town in general. And the upkeep on the land is now a time waste, and sometimes I just want someone to deliver me pizza! Moving into town this summer.
I found a good compromise : living in a medium city, working at the country. Both benefits: able to find peace and calm on my daywork, and everything I need in the evening. But it's France, a human sized country
A friend-with-benefits. I thought it would be fun and effortless but definitely not. He told me sweet things in the beginning saying he could see it being more, I fell for it quickly like an amateur
Then we had sex. Afterwards he’s playing hot and cold and my feelings are on a roller coaster of “what is happening??” Says he just wants to be strictly fwb and not pursue anything more but is still interested in me. *Then* he says he’s not interested in being friends anymore either. Maybe I was too clingy after the initial sweet words, maybe he wasn’t ever truly interested in anything but a one night thing but either way my head was spinning. I have never doubted myself more. I just wish he would have been more decisive on what he wanted.
Wonderful guy, wish nothing but the best for him but whew, hell of a week. No more fwb for me lmaoo.
The job I am currently in. The work is alright, but the company is s**t.
"The hours are pretty good, but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.”
When I was a kid, I was insistent on having a ketchup and mustard sandwich. I begged my mom to make it for me. My rationale was if a hamburger was delicious on a bun with ketchup and mustard, surely a sandwich minus the meat would be great. My Mom finally made the sandwich. I immediately regretted it.
Same with begging for Bakers unsweetened chocolate. How is it good enough in cookies but not on it's own?
This girl, thought she was nice, got to know her, turns out she has the personality of sandpaper
Sometimes you won't realize exactly how beautiful someone is until you get to know them. Beauty on the inside turns into beauty on the outside.
To live near family, instead of moving somewhere better. We haven't had two nice days in a row since October here. It is always raining, snowing, cold enough to kill you, incredibly windy, or just unpleasant out because of the resulting days before it. (Upstate NY near the Canada border.) Everywhere has issues, but damn, I just want to be outside in 70 degrees without taking a vacation.
As long as I'm away from them, I'll take any kind of weather. I live in a place with two weeks of summer, but at least I'm not even within driving distance.
That 2 lb novelty Reese Cup. I regretted how good it was.
I don't like Reese's and I don't like peanut butter. I've been called a freak.
A $1200 versace watch to impress a girl that I met off Facebook that I never ended up meeting in real life
Anyone impressed by an expensive watch is not someone I want to know.
Nickelodeon Video Now. I paid $70 for one and two discs. Then Video Now Color came out just a few months later and made it obsolete.
I still have mine! I only ever had one disk that played 2 episodes of spongebob, but I watched those two episodes like 10 times a day as a child. I randomly find it sometimes and it surprisingly still works great
A Dance Dance Revolution Real Dance Pad.
First 2 paychecks I received when I was 16. Bought a $500 DDR (over 15 years ago) and used it about 20 hours that first week. Then about 20 hours for the next two years. Sold at garage sale for $25
Omg I was obsessed with DDR SuperNova on PS2! Used it so much that I wore through 2 dance pads :) I miss that game!
When I was in college I was in student dining & had three separate (& opposing) cravings. I wanted pizza, I wanted orange juice, and I wanted chocolate cake. So I got all three.
It was not a good combination. Call it a trifecta of indigestion if you will
My ex.
(I think some of u guys misunderstood what I meant. I mean like, I thought I wanted to date my ‘first bf’ but ended up regretting it)
Our firsts are just a practice to get to know the kind of person we don't want.
my parents attention
Need for Speed Most Wanted for the GBA. Was saving up for a Xbox 360 when I was likw 10. Decided to buy that game for 50 bucks and when I played it, had instant regret.
Cried while playing it every time.
Fentanyl.
Fentanyl has changed my life for the better. Used as the painkiller it's supposed to be it has resulted in giving me a break from my chronic pain. I'm checked regularly, and have had no issues with it at all. I know the drug gets bad press but for some of us the patches are a lifesaver!
I think having a lawn can be on this list. The time, money, energy and water that is needed for a lawn (especially a front lawn) is such a waste. We now have mulch with a pathway going through it with some perennials and a couple bushes. Looks so much better and it is so much easier to maintain. So much less wasted water.
Our "lawn" is a mix of several types of clover, wildflowers, and various mosses. I think it's beautiful, and it requires no maintenance except occasional mowing (and we always leave a patch unmowed for pollinators). It's always the first "lawn" to be green in the Spring while the fertilized, manicured lawns of neighbors are still brown.
Load More Replies...Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting.It seems illogical but it is often times true.
Mines would definitely be an Echo Dot. All my friends were talking about it so I decided to get one. Lights turn on during conversations for no reason and it made me paranoid it was listening lol. It’s now unplugged and not been used for months
Nope,I don't need nor want any of that. I have something like that on my phone and the first thing I did was disable it.
Load More Replies...What I regret is getting my earlobes pierced with a piercinggun at the jewelry store at the age of 16 instead of with a needle at the piercing shop. I'm now almost 32 and even though I have had earrings for half my life now, it never healed properly. I still sometimes experience inflammation. And on one side if I don't wear any earring in it for more than a week it will have actually partially closed. The skin trauma from getting pierced with a gun is really so bad it can leave lasting problems. I also advise parents who want to give their daughters earrings to not get them done with a gun. Go to a good piercing shop and get them done with a needle. It's actually less painful and doesn't give skin trauma.
number 23, she says "he was a wonderful guy" even though he played with her feelings🙄🙄🙄
Technically life has a return policy. At some point death comes for everyone and the world will keep spinning without you just as it did before you were born. No need to commit suicide. You can just wait it out. After some time on earth it will happen anyway. Best to make the most of it before that happens. Enjoy life a little. Make friends. Follow ambitions. Enjoy good meals. Maybe travel a bit. Life is maybe quite pointless. But that doesn't mean it's pointless to be a good person and do right by others and yourself.
Load More Replies...How about all those bikes people bought during lockdown? The greenway is right behind me, and, as soon as things started opening up people stopped biking. Now there are tons sitting in garages. I regret buying a device that makes my Android Auto wireless. Still need a charger, and, my new car really isn't set up for having a wireless charger easily.
I thought I wanted a full time job with health benefits and company pension. It turns out what I actually want is casual employment with the freedom to say no to any shift I don't want to work, and the freedom to do whatever I want when I get out of bed in the morning. I don't need health benefits from work because we have free health care. I don't need a company pension because I'm good with my money and I know how to save it properly. Having had COVID for the last whole month has really shown me how much I value my freedom, hobbies, and time with my dog.
So basically you want to be independently wealthy... must be nice.
Load More Replies...FITBIT WATCH! The thing would never sync to my phone. It's now a nice addition to the junk drawer.
One of my great regrets in life is not taking over my Uncles' shop in Westwood, NJ (J&J Stationary, if any of you out there remember it). But I know that if I had, I would have regretted doing it, because I'm not the type of person who can get up every day, open a store, work all day, close it, go home, and feel rewarded by it. I would have hated it. So I regret not doing it, even though I know I would have regretted doing it.
Spicy Chicken BBQ | Chicken Barbeque | Eid special recipe https://youtu.be/VP5lm_f0RgU
I think having a lawn can be on this list. The time, money, energy and water that is needed for a lawn (especially a front lawn) is such a waste. We now have mulch with a pathway going through it with some perennials and a couple bushes. Looks so much better and it is so much easier to maintain. So much less wasted water.
Our "lawn" is a mix of several types of clover, wildflowers, and various mosses. I think it's beautiful, and it requires no maintenance except occasional mowing (and we always leave a patch unmowed for pollinators). It's always the first "lawn" to be green in the Spring while the fertilized, manicured lawns of neighbors are still brown.
Load More Replies...Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting.It seems illogical but it is often times true.
Mines would definitely be an Echo Dot. All my friends were talking about it so I decided to get one. Lights turn on during conversations for no reason and it made me paranoid it was listening lol. It’s now unplugged and not been used for months
Nope,I don't need nor want any of that. I have something like that on my phone and the first thing I did was disable it.
Load More Replies...What I regret is getting my earlobes pierced with a piercinggun at the jewelry store at the age of 16 instead of with a needle at the piercing shop. I'm now almost 32 and even though I have had earrings for half my life now, it never healed properly. I still sometimes experience inflammation. And on one side if I don't wear any earring in it for more than a week it will have actually partially closed. The skin trauma from getting pierced with a gun is really so bad it can leave lasting problems. I also advise parents who want to give their daughters earrings to not get them done with a gun. Go to a good piercing shop and get them done with a needle. It's actually less painful and doesn't give skin trauma.
number 23, she says "he was a wonderful guy" even though he played with her feelings🙄🙄🙄
Technically life has a return policy. At some point death comes for everyone and the world will keep spinning without you just as it did before you were born. No need to commit suicide. You can just wait it out. After some time on earth it will happen anyway. Best to make the most of it before that happens. Enjoy life a little. Make friends. Follow ambitions. Enjoy good meals. Maybe travel a bit. Life is maybe quite pointless. But that doesn't mean it's pointless to be a good person and do right by others and yourself.
Load More Replies...How about all those bikes people bought during lockdown? The greenway is right behind me, and, as soon as things started opening up people stopped biking. Now there are tons sitting in garages. I regret buying a device that makes my Android Auto wireless. Still need a charger, and, my new car really isn't set up for having a wireless charger easily.
I thought I wanted a full time job with health benefits and company pension. It turns out what I actually want is casual employment with the freedom to say no to any shift I don't want to work, and the freedom to do whatever I want when I get out of bed in the morning. I don't need health benefits from work because we have free health care. I don't need a company pension because I'm good with my money and I know how to save it properly. Having had COVID for the last whole month has really shown me how much I value my freedom, hobbies, and time with my dog.
So basically you want to be independently wealthy... must be nice.
Load More Replies...FITBIT WATCH! The thing would never sync to my phone. It's now a nice addition to the junk drawer.
One of my great regrets in life is not taking over my Uncles' shop in Westwood, NJ (J&J Stationary, if any of you out there remember it). But I know that if I had, I would have regretted doing it, because I'm not the type of person who can get up every day, open a store, work all day, close it, go home, and feel rewarded by it. I would have hated it. So I regret not doing it, even though I know I would have regretted doing it.
Spicy Chicken BBQ | Chicken Barbeque | Eid special recipe https://youtu.be/VP5lm_f0RgU