Honesty isn’t always the best policy, even in long-term relationships and in marriage. How you say something, how you phrase your opinion is just as (and arguably even more) important than what you’re trying to communicate. The truth can hurt and opinions can sting if you think diplomacy is a blunt instrument.

Internet users have been compiling a huge list of all the things that husbands should never (ever, ever, ever) tell their wives over on the r/AskReddit subreddit. The thread had nearly 6k comments and over 14k upvotes at the time of writing, and it’s all the proof you need that blurting out whatever’s on our mind doesn’t always bring about the best results.

Have a read through some of the best entries in the thread, upvote the comments that you absolutely agree shouldn’t leave a guy’s mouth, and let us know what you think is essential when it comes to communication in relationships in the comments.

#1

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) My dad, who doesn’t bake anything and barely cooks at all, while eating a slice of my mom’s homemade apple pie:

“You don’t cut the apples right.”

And that was the last apple pie she ever made for him. Around 40 years ago.

Joe_Canada99 , Hugo Aitken Report

May
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Bet he learnt not to criticize her cooking after that - either that or learned to cook for himself

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#2

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) When I was pregnant with my daughter, maybe ten-eleven weeks and really wacky hormonal, my ex suddenly looked up and said,

"I know! If the baby is a girl we should make it Stephanie after my one true love."

My name is 100% not Stephanie.

Bratbabylestrange , Anastasiia Chepinska Report

Monday
Community Member
1 month ago

Was Stephanie perhaps a former pet dog? ...that might be the only way to save this.

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#3

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) At dinner with my parents last night, my husband said "it was so annoying when you kept throwing up when you were pregnant."

I threw up 3x a day for 20 weeks. I'm sorry it inconvenienced him so much

Different_Turn3409 , krakenimages Report

Otter
Community Member
1 month ago

Public flogging should be legal for some crimes. Like that one.

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Earlier, I spoke with relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot about honesty, trust, and how we can distinguish between secrecy and privacy. According to Alex, it’s best to be completely honest with your loved one if the information affects them directly. We should do our best to imagine ourselves in their shoes and think about what we’d prefer, the truth or lies, in their position.

"If it can affect your partner or family, there absolutely should be transparency. Whenever in doubt, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself what you would like if you were in their situation," Alex told Bored Panda.

#4

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) I didn't get to try my mother's lasagna till I was twenty years old. Why? My father, in a temporary bout of insanity, whilst eating my mother's home made said to her "this is really good lasagna, but you know who makes REALLY good lasagna? My ex wife."

Tanisis22 , sunorwind Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

Saying this to his wife was really insane.

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#5

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) Wasn’t my husband, but an ex of mine once told me “I see why your ex abused you” when I was suffering from mental health issues.

HealthAccomplished25 , Rae Angela Report

Jihana
Community Member
1 month ago

what the hell??

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#6

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) I was modeling some new lingerie for my ex husband and asked “Do you like what you see?” In a flirty come get it kind of way. He looked up from his phone, gave me a once over and said “I’d like you to lose some weight”.

MangoMorning1913 , Fahad Waseem Report

Jihana
Community Member
1 month ago

"and I'd like for you to grow both up and a penis. Yet here we are"

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"If it wouldn’t impact them, then you have the option of keeping it to yourself. The difference between privacy and secrecy is that secrecy has a sense of shame, guilt, or knowing that your partner or family member wouldn’t be ok with whatever took place."

According to Alex, rebuilding trust takes time and effort and is a real challenge. The bigger the loss of trust, the longer it will take for someone to start believing you and feeling safe around you again.

#7

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) Never tell your partner they did something badly if they do something to be good to you.

If they cleaned the apartment on their day off but there was still sand on the rug in the hallway, dont point out the sand and say they missed a spot or that they did it badly.

Say that it was fantastic and you really love it, then you can say "ohh i think i pulled some sand in with me, i'll just go and dust this hallway mat" Next time when they do it they will remember the hallway mat too.

Dont criticize your partner when they are trying to make you happy, they wont do it perfectly the first time around that is ok. If you criticize your partner when they are trying to make you happy, they will stop doing it. If you tell them it was fantastic, that you loved it, they will put more effort into it because its worth it to them, because it makes you happy.

You should also tell your partner how to train you the same way, so you become someone that makes your partner happy.

baronmad , Nathan Dumlao Report

Ozacoter
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

I think that it depends if the partner forgot once (then its ok) or if they refuse to do x chore. If my partner says that he "cleaned" but all he did was to put the roomba the first time I will thank him. The tenth I will be angry.

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#8

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) I was only 23 at the time, but I once told my now ex-wife that her cooking will “never be as good as my moms, no offense though” and boy, that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever said in my life. Like, wtf was I even thinking lol

RustyToaster206 , Alyson McPhee Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

I've just seen a documentary about Pearl Harbor and the long war that followed. I do see some similarities.

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#9

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) That she’s only upset because she’s PMSing. My husband knows my cycle better than I do (which isn’t saying much because I really pay no attention), and I swear he just expects me to get bitchy, so anytime I get irritated in that window of time, he acts like I’m not to be taken seriously.

For the record, I do get PMS—not severely, but I recognize when I’m getting irrationally bitchy, because I feel like I just WANT to be mad. So when I make a reasonable complaint from a rational place and it gets attributed to PMS, it’s infuriating. Like, it’s reasonable for me to get mad that you walked past a heap of cat puke 10 times today but waited for me to get home to clean it up!

Badb_1111 , Jonathan Borba Report

Dianethe Dinosaur
Community Member
1 month ago

Been there, sister!

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“For smaller offenses, it will take less time, but for larger offenses, be prepared to be overly transparent for a time and hire a therapist or coach to walk you through the process. Trust takes consistency to rebuild and consistency equals effort over time."

#10

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) Not my husband, but an ex boyfriend.

I dressed up for a dinner out, feeling super cute in my new dress. So I come up to him, smiley face and all.

I didn't even asked him how I looked. Did not intend to. He just said, with a disapointed face and a lil disgusted tone:

"You really wanna know what I think about your outfit?"

He's the ex for many reasons, but this one still makes me angry when I think of it.

Youre_late_for_tea , Tamara Bellis Report

Liam Farranree
Community Member
1 month ago

He didn't even ask what you thought of him as a man. Did not intend to. He found out anyway.

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#11

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) “I liked your body better before you had kids” Yeah me too.

Lvsucknuts69 , Nathan Dumlao Report

Susan Green
Community Member
1 month ago

It’s too bad men can’t get pregnant, and give birth. Oh wait, if that was the case, the human population would have died out centuries ago.

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#12

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) I once heard my stepdad say (my mom was standing right beside him) that his ex wife was a 10 in looks but a 4 in personality, but that my mom was a 4 in looks, but a 10 in personality. He thought it was a compliment. Aaaaand he still hasn't lived it down, but his story has changed over time. My mom is now a 7 in looks lmao

J33P88 , Charles Deluvio Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

Noooo, what a horrible thing to say. Here's some advice to men AND women, don't compare your partner with an ex.

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#13

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) My wife was complaining that there was no food, said she was starving. There was, she's just picky. It got on my nerves a bit and I said..

"Well you don't look like your starving"

Don't ever say that

Mooseknuckle94 , nrd Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

Well, that escalated quickly.

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#14

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) My husband once said “I married my mother”, and I’m still plotting his death.

ChapStick_Hoe , Samantha Gades Report

Otter
Community Member
1 month ago

If you don't want your spouse to act like your parent... act like a f*****g adult.

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#15

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) You look better with less weight! You were more relaxed before we had kids. We have 3 kids 5 and under, the eldest most likely has ASD, sensory processing disorder, ADHD and still doesn't sleep. Sorry I'm not as carefree as before.

beautifulfarts , Siora Photograph Report

Susan Green
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Tell him that he would look better with his big mouth duct taped shut.

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#16

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) Until you know how she feels about how something looks, don’t comment.

My mum bought a dress I thought she looked really good in, she liked it too. She tried it on in front of my dad and he said he didn’t like it. All the happiness drained from her face, she got changed, handed me the dress and said it was mine now. I tried to convince her how nice she looked but nothing changed her mind, a back handed comment from dad (I don’t even think he really looked) changed her whole perspective

maddy_l_13 , Zhanjiang Chen Report

Caro Caro
Community Member
1 month ago

What a s**t.

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#17

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) This is to everyone with a significant other that is a female. Saying things like “calm down” “you’re being crazy right now” or “it’s not that big of a deal” is a sure fire way to get us angry, it feels almost hard wired.

Frinla25 , Samuel Regan-Asante Report

A.M. Pierre
Community Member
1 month ago

If you tell someone "calm down" or any of these things, what that person usually hears is "you shouldn't be getting upset"/"you don't have the right to be upset" or, essentially, "your feelings are wrong". I'm not saying everyone who says these phrases means that, but the phrases imply that. Given that, historically, women's feelings have been downplayed or dismissed far more often than men's, it can touch a nerve.

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#18

Don't tell them an ex's gift (or an ex's anything for that matter) was better than yours.

At my partner's last birthday dinner him mom asked what the best gift he'd ever gotten was. He immediately said "oh insert ex gf name who I was with for a really long time got me these awesome custom Marvel Vans like five years ago! I don't think anything has topped that." and he gushed about it for a good five minutes. It absolutely hurt cause I had just bought him a really expensive gift I knew he'd been wanting for a while. So yeah don't do that.

LynGon Report

SocksXD
Community Member
1 month ago

Rude and inconsiderate

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#19

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) An ex once told me he loved me almost as much as the ex that broke his heart. He continued to update me as I got closer to “that mark” and finally once I surpassed that mark. I was young and naïve and he was my first bf. I dumped him, am married now, and I think he’s still sulking around wondering why nobody falls for him.

Kneecoall , freestocks Report

Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
1 month ago

I hope you're very happy now that you're married to someone better! <3

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#20

Don't ever bring up how attractive she was before kids.

This guy I worked with would say that all the time. Holy shit don't say stuff like that. Do you want to get murdered in your sleep for being an insufferable dickhead?

CircleBackMurray Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 month ago

Again, this is your wife. You’re supposed to love her. You’re NOT supposed to shoot her down like that, especially when she’s probably already hypercritical of herself. All you’re doing is piling your own bullshit on top of it. She’s given birth to children you BOTH made, which took a physical toll on her that would kill any man. So either tell her she’s beautiful or shut the f**k up.

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#21

Never tell your wife something designed to hurt her out of anger. You live with her and know what will hurt her the most, don’t weaponize it.

Never say something that implies you find someone else more attractive. Some relationships you can acknowledge someone else is good looking. Some you can’t. But either way, your words should never state or openly imply someone else is MORE attractive.

Never talk harshly about the people she’s close to. You can carefully express annoyance about her friends or family, but don’t be petty or hateful towards them directly or in her presence.

Never blame her mood on her period. A woman’s mood may be exaggerated (sometimes a lot) by hormones, but the feelings are very much real and any implication that it’s all about her period is dismissive.

Maxwells-Ghost Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 month ago

Nasty s**t like that can’t be unheard once it’s been said. Great way to sabotage the good thing you have, but sure do not deserve, asshole.

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#22

Dad was drunk one night when i was 16 and said to mum that she was a fat fucking cow and wished she didn't get that surgery as it made her who she is today. She had breast cancer and had to have surgery to get rid of it, she had a tissue expansion which made her d's become e's for a period of time and dad hated it.

EnchantedvortexEV Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

What an absolute d**k.

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#23

“Trust me woman, I know what I’m talking about. I’m 100% positive on this.”

Welp, 5 minutes later after a Google search she showed me, with a mischievous smile, I was in fact, wrong. Fuck.

Youdontuderstandme Report

Ratterlin
Community Member
1 month ago

If you worded it like that, you 1000% deserved it...

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#24

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) My ex boyfriend told me he was "glad my boobs weren't any smaller than they already were" and that my boobs were "too far apart". Cue the complex about my boobs I never had before that comment

t00manycooks , Alrick Gillard Report

Agfox
Community Member
1 month ago

I used to work with a woman who told me that when she first met the guy whom she later married, one of the first things he said to her was 'I have a joke that will make you laugh your tits off - oh, I see you've already heard it". My first thought was why would you even want to see him again let alone marry him

Dave P
Community Member
1 month ago

if they share that type of humor style, it makes sense.

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Monika Sztuk
Community Member
1 month ago

My ex told me that he wouldn't mind if I had my boobs done ( I'm cup C). When I got really upset he said that he just wanted me to know that if I wanted to have them done he would give me full support. How extremely considerate of him. Just a shame he couldn't support me with anything else. 1,5 years with someone like that and I'm still working on my crashed to pieces self esteem :(

MelO
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Damn. Did we date the same guy? My ex said the same thing. When I pointed out that if I told him I would be ok if he changed "X" about himself, how would he feel, he got mad and sulked and said I was just mean and it wasn't the same.

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Hannah Edwards
Community Member
1 month ago

Hope you had some nice penis comments for him.

Sasy
Community Member
1 month ago

his complaint is based on his own part looking smaller in the larger space.

KT
Community Member
1 month ago

TBH it sounds like he's addicted to pornography from a comment like that

magpookie1133
Community Member
1 month ago

The solution to that boob problem is to get a different boyfriend.

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 month ago

So, he was used to big fake uniboobs?

May
Community Member
1 month ago

Too far apart? That's a new one

Curry on...
Community Member
1 month ago

He must have been wall-eyed.

Penni Potter
Community Member
1 month ago

My (now) 'ex' told me I had saggy tits like an 80 year old woman. I'm 51, have 3 kids, lost over 120 lbs (on my own and then had gastric bypass). All this was before we met, and he knew. He was used to 35 year old gold diggers. I work like a fool. He wanted a stay at home GF. he was quite deceptive. Things kinda went downhill from there.

TK Wallace
Community Member
1 month ago

He's now my ex husband but I remember when we were dating, I was in a weird mood and he asked me, "What's wrong titless?" That was 32 years ago and that s**t clearly still bothers me...

Rob Woodman
Community Member
1 month ago

Too far apart? I mean...what?

Immortal Emperor Paradox
Community Member
1 month ago

Does BP have a special collection of photoes of good looking people?

I I
Community Member
1 month ago

boobs to far apart , too small , GET A GRIP boobs is boobs

Shinomi Chan
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Because women can DEFINITELY choose what their body does via psychic powers right???

Kyan
Community Member
1 month ago

we all know all......any boob size.......makes the wood rise

RoseAnne Hutchence
Community Member
1 month ago

Sometimes the only appropriate response to comments like that is, "F*%# You." Don't ask me why, try it yourself and see if it doesn't help negate the impact and - at the same time - let the idiot know his opinion does not count.

Lynne Stankard
Community Member
1 month ago

Glad he's your EX.

Melanie Wittmier-Steffler
Community Member
1 month ago

Men need to be TOLD THEIR shortcomings

Kourtney Jossy
Community Member
1 month ago

Told me that he first thought my boobs were small but that they were bigger than he thought. So yay?

Mark Berry
Community Member
1 month ago

The lady in the picture looks ok with them.

Stephanie IV
Community Member
1 month ago

Give as you get or get out. Or both.

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

Reject humanity. Become a runway.

Monika Sztuk
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#25

People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories) Wow your sister maintained her figure really well after their kid was born.

armystrongmd , Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho Report

M Calad
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

This reminded me of a friend whose husband used to compare her with me 🤦. "You should do like *me*, she works out and keeps herself well", "see *me*? She is applying to study. You should do the same". It was so awkward and embarrassing. I knew he wanted to motivate her and set me as an example but his method was totally wrong making her feel below me. She stopped being my friend because of that.

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#26

First time I ever tried shepherds pie made by my mum was a few days ago when I (33) was visiting for dinner. Why do you ask? He told her just after they were married (a man who can’t cook mind you) that it’s not the way his mum makes it.

It was so damned delicious too!!!!

Cheap_Brain Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
1 month ago

My friend's 50+ year old husband still does that. I have no idea why she puts up with him other than she is afraid of being alone when she is old

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#27

"I like more athletic looking women" like an Allison Stokke type.

I work full time, I'm in college full time, and I take care of our daughter most of the time. I don't have time for the gym and I don't look that terrible. I'm 5'7 135lbs with a little tummy squish bfd

meybley Report

Otter
Community Member
1 month ago

Tell him that if he'll assume responsibility for the kid for three hours a day, you'll have time to work out like a demon.

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#28

Probably shouldn't tell her that since he was unable to get the person he was most attracted to, he got you instead.

That leaves a pretty lasting impression.

Holybull79 Report

May
Community Member
1 month ago

That's when you leave

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#29

Once had a partner tell me that I "Have a forehead you could lay a mattress on" I used to style my hair with a part down the middle, but after that I made sure to get bangs and am super obsessive about moving my hair to cover my forehead. I was bullied a lot in school, so I had a lot of self consciousness about other bits of my appearance, but the forehead thing was news to me at the time.

MayBeAPossum Report

Susan Green
Community Member
1 month ago

What an a$$hole.

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#30

That the best sex he ever had wasn't with her

GingeroftheYear Report

beastmachine.
Community Member
1 month ago

Seems like a cardinal sin

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#31

“You must be getting your period soon”

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rspanther
Community Member
1 month ago

Why would anyone say something stupid like that?

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#32

We had a baby two weeks ago.

The night after labor, while sitting with our boy. I told her I'm tired.

Should not have said that. I apologize.

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Dorothy Parker
Community Member
1 month ago

That's not bad at all. They didn't say they were more tired than the new mother.

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#33

My bf went to jail for a few months some years back. I was hella depressed when he was gone, and self medicated with food and alcohol. I would visit him every Sunday with his mom. When he got out, he got drunk one night and told me. “Every week when you came to visit, I always though….man she’s getting bigger!” Didn’t need to know that.

Ok_Stranger_8930 Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
1 month ago

This whole relationship sounds deeply disfunctional

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#34

My ex boyfriend used to repeat every day that I was way prettier when we met.

Charming-Sea8691 Report

I' Gomez & Morticia's kid
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe cuz he is bad at treating you 🤷🏽‍♀️

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#35

That she behaves like her mother.

LikeChicken Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 month ago

I think a husband who makes such a statement is fully aware of the fact that they will get into a fight.

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