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Just because something is legal doesn’t make it ethical. And just because society accepts or rejects certain things doesn’t automatically make them objectively right or wrong. No society is ever ‘perfect’ and there will always be aspects of it that could stand to be improved. However, some widely accepted things are so toxic that it’s a wonder how they ever became commonplace.
Redditor u/Nebulaud recently asked the AskReddit community to share the social norms that they personally think deserve to disappear from the world, for good. Many internet users rushed to vent their frustrations, and we’ve collected their most interesting takes. Scroll down to check them out, and if you agree with any of these opinions, give them an upvote.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the important discussion, u/Nebulaud, for their thoughts on shifting social norms, the most problematic things that are accepted that shouldn't be, as well as how to have a healthier work-life balance. You'll find our full interview with them as you read on.
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According to the author of the thread, they decided to ask the question online after thinking about how societal standards change over time. "Things that are normal today can become abominable as time passes as more about it is known by the general public. Other things that people judge now will become more accepted," u/Nebulaud told Bored Panda.
A major issue that the redditor sees in this day and age is how much screen time children get and the type of content they're exposed to. "The internet is not a babysitter," they said.
"At first, I thought that giving your child unrestricted access to a tablet as an excuse to rarely pay attention to them was a rare thing, but I kept seeing it happen more and more. It describes my childhood, but I now often see small children and toddlers watch things that are clearly too disturbing to be consumed at such a young age."
They gave an example that they think is particularly problematic: "The current big thing is Sprunki, which is a bait-and-switch horror Incredibox mod with colorful characters that devolves into a gory hellscape once you get to Black. An interesting concept, but not one suitable for the children that YouTube pushes it towards with its algorithms," they explained.
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#2
Having a bigger problem with the victim who's complaining than the perpetrator who's behaving badly.
#3
Not accepting aging. 20-year-old girls shouldn't be getting 'preventative Botox,' and actresses showing signs of aging shouldn't lose jobs. 'Aging like milk' shouldn't be a saying at all. Normalize aging in general.
"There are also other media that are pushed by algorithms, like other horror games, provocative music videos, politics, f****h games, true crime, etc. These also still appear on the YouTube Kids app. Other parts of the internet are also unsafe for kids due to both people assuming that most users are at least teenagers and people seeking out kids to exploit," u/Nebulaud explained that some violent or adult content that people are "frequently baited into" can "scar even grow adults."
From u/Nebulaud's perspective, social norms should benefit the society they are in. "If they start causing more harm than good, lose their purpose, or were never good in the first place, then they should go instead of remain as an annoying husk," they told us.
"Ones that I hate but weren't in the thread are children being viewed as subhumans unworthy of respect, changing your mind being viewed as shameful, being expected to be fully informed of and take a side on every political issue you never heard of, automatically hating people you don't understand, and mental health being viewed as expendable."
#5
"Respect your elders"
An elderly a*****e is still an a*****e.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
I always thought respecting elders was about listening to their wisdom, as they have lived longer, and accommodating them when needed. Not putting up with abuse and disrespect.
#6
Working beyond your assigned work hours. If I arrive on time, I should be able to leave on time. Ofcourse, a bit of stretch every once in a while is okay but this hustle culture of working 18 hours a day and wearing pride in eyes that look like they have been smacked hard and nice - this norm needs to be challenged and eradicated for good.
Bored Panda asked u/Nebulaud for their thoughts on developing better boundaries and a healthier work-life balance. "If you can, find ways to permanently make work easier. Find more efficient tools and techniques that help cut out the grind or make working less complicated. However, do not do too much at once unless you're ok with the company possibly increasing your workload. Try to reduce the mental labor," they shared.
Something else to consider is figuring out a "plan B job in case you get fired or your job gets too bad to continue." It might be worth doing this even if you don't have to use it, as "it will boost your confidence because you have a possible safety net."
The author had some more practical advice that all employees should keep in mind. "If a boss is particularly bad, document what they do wrong and send it to the higher-ups or HR if your company actually has a good one. If you are talking to a higher-up, mention both the proof of abuse and how the boss's misbehavior is reducing efficiency, thus costing money. If the boss breaks the law, also involve the respective government agency."
#7
Sharing everything in your life online for strangers to look at.
Julia Mckinney 10 months ago
I admit it, I *almost* took a picture of a roast I made that actually turned out well. I was able to have it shred nicely. (historically, I'm great at cooking chicken & have a decent stew recipe, I just have problems get a roast right). However, I thought about "where would I even post it?" and decided the internet didn't need to see that I cooked a roast well.
#9
Saying “boys will be boys.”.
April Pickett 10 months ago
Boys need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions. They should not be excused by "boys will be boys".
People’s relationship with their jobs is an excruciating point for many of them. What employees want is fairly easy to grasp but hard to implement in practice: purposeful and meaningful work, a salary you can live on with dignity, career opportunities, a decent work-life balance, friendly colleagues, and an empathetic boss, to name just a few.
Instead, many workers have to fight against burnout, anxiety, overtime, toxic workplace environments, and being undervalued and underpaid. It’s no wonder that many people feel demotivated about their jobs and the entire work industry as a whole.
If you can barely make ends meet and have no time or energy left to be with your loved ones or to enjoy life, then what exactly is the point of working hard? People understandably get frustrated when the balance is skewed in others’ favor instead of their own.
Burnout essentially means that employees feel chronically exhausted, distance themselves from their work, and become negative or cynical about their jobs. In short, poorly managed workplace stress leads to reduced professional efficacy, according to the World Health Organization.
#10
Asking women when/if they’re going to have children or if they want children. It’s such a personal question that I’m surprised people still ask.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
If you answer quite bluntly "no, and it's very rude of you to ask that" they will eventually learn to stop asking.
#11
Forcing kids to hug or show affection to relatives they're uncomfortable with. Teaching boundaries and consent from a young age is way more important than avoiding a moment of awkwardness at family gatherings.
Julia Mckinney 10 months ago
The idea of consent wasn't around when I was a kid but I'm sure glad that discussions about boundaries and consent have become the norm.
#12
Tablets for little kids. We need to keep screen time to a minimum for all the little beans. It is disrupting their brain.
April Pickett 10 months ago
Please give them a childhood first, before the electronics. They should go to the park, the zoo, museums, and play with other kids. Hopscotch, king of the mountain, skip rope. hide and seek. Get them outside and let them play
Employees who are burned out don’t just do worse professionally, they are also more often absent from their jobs, have lower job satisfaction, and can struggle with long-term physical and mental health problems.
The American Psychological Association states that in 2021, 79% of employees reported work-related stress in the month before the survey. Meanwhile, over half of the respondents said that this work-related stress had negative impacts on them, such as a lack of interest/motivation/energy (26%), as well as a lack of effort at work (19%).
#13
Being guilted into being ‘the bigger person to keep the peace’ - you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your own peace for someone else’s.
#14
Being expected to be 'available' at all times. Work chasing you home, work messages at all hours of the day and night.
Messages on vacation, sick days etc.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
I don't understand this one. You don't have to answer the phone. You don't even have to have it turned on or with you every second of the day.
#15
Weddings.
Wedding culture under late stage capitalism is insane. Let’s normalize not asking your friends and family to shell out thousands of dollars or go into debt out of obligation. What happened to going to a local bar for a bachelorette party? Why are we planning 5 day trips to Miami?
Furthermore, 36% of workers said they experienced cognitive weariness, 32% revealed that they were emotionally exhausted, and 44% reported physical fatigue.
Meanwhile, SHRM’s Employee Mental Health in 2024 Research Series revealed that 44% of American employees feel burned out at work. 45% feel emotionally drained and 51% actually feel ‘used up’ at the end of their workday.
Burned-out workers are thrice as likely to be actively looking for another job than employees who don’t suffer from burnout. On top of that, burnout means that a person is less likely to go above and beyond what’s expected of them at work.
#17
Looking at your phone while talking to other people.
“If you consider how many workers are feeling burned out and the direct and indirect effects burnout has on an organization, it should really raise a red flag to organizational leaders,” explained senior SHRM researcher Daroon Jalil.
According to SHRM, some ways to address burnout include staying optimistic throughout any challenges you face, giving yourself some credit, reframing your perceptions and expectations, limiting your demands, and leading a healthy lifestyle.
#19
Demanding new hires have experience for entry level jobs that would give them said experience. Obviously, plenty of jobs *must* require prior experience, but many of the ones that do, really don't.
#20
Not talking about your pay to coworkers.
Kyra Noelle 10 months ago
It's Illegal to say you can't share. It is for your benefit to see if you are getting underpaid. Esp. since women have historically been underpaid.
#22
Calling ambitious women “bossy.”.
#23
Work coming before mental health.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Took a mental health day last week, just as someone suddenly quit, my teammate started her vacation and the store got safety audited. It's been stressful and I've been getting targeted in the drama. Not that day. I spent the day applying to jobs. Haven't heard anything back but hopeful.
#24
Tipping on self checkout/retail/fast food just because the iPad told you to. Also not putting a custom tip when the options are 30%, 40% and 50% of the post tax total.
#25
Lip fillers, Botox, artificial eyebrows and other manufactured “beauty”. It’s too much pressure on young people and creating a superficial anti aging agenda instead of balanced wellness and healthy attitudes.
Boo 10 months ago
I'm so glad I'm older than dirt and didn't have these kinds of pressures growing up. Yes, we had teen magazines, but no pressure to buy them. I'm growing old gracefully and I don't worry about trying to fit in. You either like me for who I am, or you don't. I don't give a toss.
#26
Sharing the most personal things, CRINGIEST and stupid stuff for the sole purpose of getting views on social media.
setsuriseikou 10 months ago
Harming animals/people for the sole purpose of getting views on social media.
#27
40 hour work week. It's high time for 4 day, 32 hours work weeks.
PhaseWitFact 10 months ago
I remember my early engineering days, we were inventing so much cool stuff that increased productivity and we'd dream about the future when surely our children would only need to work half as much as we did because of our hard work. 😢
#28
Gendering chores.
KL Harrold 10 months ago
Gendering anything. Men can knit and still be men. Women can be welders and still be women. The sooner stereotypes are got rid of as the meaningless, regressive nonsense they are, the better.
#29
Overconsumption. I think mindful consumption is so important. Yes, you can spend money on things but I think it should be things you really really value. It clutters up your mindspace, your home environment and the environment environment. There are so many ways to get your dopamine rush. Like you can even buy really quality clothes second hand on poshmark and the real real and they can be priced at shein and aliexpress prices but way better quality and elongates the garment’s life. I personally got into social work and also volunteering in my own time and I just don’t have a need for endless things anymore.
Lost Panda 10 months ago
The last things I've bought for myself were cigarettes (yeah I know) and socks... I wish I could go out and spend lavioushly on myself.
#30
Toxic positivity. I struggle to find spaces where I can let my problems out so I can get help.
#31
“Man up” mentality.
#32
Long goodbyes. When I say it’s time to go I am ready TO LEAVE. The midwestern politeness thing where you say goodbye five times and it takes an hour needs to gtfo.
PhaseWitFact 10 months ago
Depends on who it is and the circumstance. If it's a close loved one that you won't see again or for a very long time, goodbyes are torture, you don't want to let go.
#34
Shaking hands probably isn't the best idea. There's a shameful number of people who don't wash their hands after using the toilet.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
Never really liked shaking hands with anyone but, since COVID, I don't do it with anyone. Who knows what microbes are crawling all over someone's hands?
#36
There are a few that come to mind:
Having kids - not everyone wants them
Tipping - pay your workers a living wage
Entry level jobs that require years of experience.
Dog Mom to Zoe 10 months ago
How about UNPAID internship. One should at least get minimum wage.
#37
People paying it forward in drive-thrus. You order a soda and end up paying 50 for someone else.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
I will break the chain every time. Why? Because baristas HATE these stupid things. It makes their job even more of a hassle than normal. I give them whatever I would have owed as a tip and end it.
#38
Paying for someone else on a first date.
Dog Mom to Zoe 10 months ago
I think it makes it less uncomfortable to go Dutch on a first date.
#39
Judging mental health struggles.
Jill Rhodry 10 months ago
It seems having anxiety or depression is ok but not a serious psychiatric disorder
#40
Pressure to post on social media.
#41
Telling people you're doing okay when they ask how you're doing when you're not doing okay. F**k that.
Person 1: How are you today?
Person 2: S****y, how you doing?
Socks Thecate 10 months ago (edited)
When I was a new immigrant to the USA, someone asked me how I was doing. I wasn't having a good day so I told them how I was doing. They didn't like it. It took me some time to realize that it was an expression for which a serious answer wasn't expected. In my home country you didn't ask someone how they were unless you meant it.
#43
Getting sh*tfaced every weekend in your late teens and early 20’s.
#44
The “friend zone” complaint.
#45
I feel like a lot of things are outdate rn. But the one which triggers me the most, is that you have to be extremely polite when talking about money. Like, you get asked - "How much do you want to earn from this job", and you cannot just say a number straight up, you have to write a whole essay in the end of which you will be able to actually answer the question. And if you don't do it, everyone thinks that you are not polite.
Like what's the problem? Money were invented to be used, the way they are used. Why can't we just get straight to the point?
#47
Glossing over bad bosses.
#48
Ignoring workplace burnout.
Megan Humphries 10 months ago
I know they probably mean more from an organization point of view, but yeah, they just don't care. They will get someone else. Individually, unfortunately, many don't have much of a choice. I get a decent amount of time off, but many don't. No company or institution I know of is actually staffed enough and resourced enough to not stretch out their lower and mid level employees. Most people will have to work for at least 45-50 years. That is a long time and we spend a lot of time working. There are going to be days where you are tired and don't want to be there, but you have obligations, so there is not much you can do about it. One last thing that would maybe help burnout, but is easier said than done would be changing careers/jobs. That could mean starting over and some people just don't have the safety net to quit and try to find something they enjoy better.
#50
“Real job” stereotypes.
Child of the Stars 10 months ago
I hate this so much. My ex-husband is a kitchen manager for a local restaurant, and he loves it. I do laundry at a hotel and I love it. I'm working on my BS in computer science, but it's mostly because I enjoy the academics and computers; I don't want a 6-figure job.
#51
Assuming marriage is a goal.
#52
Having work be your identity. The first thing many people ask when meeting someone is "what do you do?".
Child of the Stars 10 months ago
Meh, this doesn't bother me at all. The question is an easy ice breaker because it's something virtually everyone can answer and it can open the door to a much broader conversation. That doesn't make your job your identity, it's just something most people can relate to.
#53
Saying things you don’t mean to be polite (such as as let’s hang out sometime).
#58
Ignoring workplace diversity.
#59
Saying "bless you" after someone sneezes. I haven't said it in probably 20 years and I encourage everyone to stop immediately. Let's make this happen.
What do you think ?
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
Can't we just normalize being nice to each other and just live and let live? I don't care who or what you worship, or who you identify as, or who you want to love and/or marry (as long as you're both consenting adults). I just want you to have a happy, peaceful, drama-free life and let me have my happy, peaceful, drama-free life.
Russell Rieckenberg 10 months ago
"Fail videos" that end up with the child crying and the parents laughing.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 10 months ago
Can't we just normalize being nice to each other and just live and let live? I don't care who or what you worship, or who you identify as, or who you want to love and/or marry (as long as you're both consenting adults). I just want you to have a happy, peaceful, drama-free life and let me have my happy, peaceful, drama-free life.
Russell Rieckenberg 10 months ago
"Fail videos" that end up with the child crying and the parents laughing.
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