Woman Knows Her Sister’s Dog Hair Frequently Ends Up In Food, So She Turns Around And Leaves Thanksgiving Dinner When She Sees It There
The history of mankind knows many touching and inspiring stories of interaction between people and dogs. Brave Balto, delivering a vaccine to a remote town engulfed by an epidemic… Devoted Hachiko, waiting for years at the train station for his late master… Forget it – the tale we’re about to tell you has nothing to do with them.
Yes, just imagine, there are people in this world who do not like dogs. Usually such people dote on cats, but they do not appear in this story, so just disregard that – dogophobes exist. And usually they don’t like dogs because of their hair. Of course, when a dog sheds, especially if the dog is big, then this hair is found literally everywhere, for example, in your food.
And that’s exactly why u/One_Procedure8627, the author of this popular tale in the AITA Reddit community, doesn’t like dogs. The story, by the way, has already gained around 7.5K upvotes and over 2.2K different comments in just a few days, and most of the people supported the author.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post doesn’t like dogs for their hair in her food when they shed a lot
Image credits: Dennis Matheson (not the actual photo)
So, the author of the post immediately admits that she does not like dogs, and this is because of their hair. For example, like her younger sister’s dog, who sheds so much that it is absolutely impossible to be in the house because the hair is evenly distributed over clothes, furniture and dishes. Not all people feel good about dog hair sandwiches, for example, so the Original Poster’s feelings can be easily understood.
Image credits: One_Procedure8627
The author’s sister has a dog and everything she cooks contains the hair, so the author tries to avoid her cooking
However, the OP’s sister, on the contrary, claims that her world revolves around her doggo, so there have even been small conflicts between the women several times over the pet. The author of the post honestly states that she just has an issue when it affects her, so she tries to avoid contact with her sister’s pet as much as possible. Until last Thanksgiving, she succeeded…
Image credits: One_Procedure8627
When the woman came to her mom’s house for Thanksgiving, she discovered that the dog was in the kitchen while her relatives were cooking
According to the OP, she and her sister agreed to celebrate Thanksgiving together at their parents’ house, but our heroine asked her mother in advance to warn her sister not to take the dog with her, or at least not let her into the kitchen. The OP has seen dog hair in her sister’s meals several times before, so now she just doesn’t eat anything she makes. How surprised and indignant she was when, having arrived at her mom’s house, she saw that cooking was in full swing – and that very dog was trotting through the kitchen.
Image credits: One_Procedure8627
The woman was outraged and declared that she would not eat anything that was cooked that day. Her sister said that she was simply blowing things out of proportion, and that many people don’t mind eating food prepared where dogs are nearby. The OP retorted sharply that she is not one of those people.
Image credits: One_Procedure8627
In the heat of an argument, the woman decided to leave and ordered some Chinese food at home
Word for word, a family drama broke out, and our heroine finally decided to go home. She left the pies she had brought with her and simply ordered Chinese food. As the OP admits, all evening her phone was blowing up with calls and messages from relatives who claimed that she should have just dealt with it. But she still stuck to her own opinion.
Image credits: David Lee (not the actual photo)
People in the comments sided with the author, yet some of them stated that she should be less dramatic to stay on good terms with her relatives
Needless to say, most of the people in the comments (apart from some especially dedicated dog lovers) supported the Original Poster, while noting that her sister’s dog is not properly groomed either. Anyway, like the commenters say, the OP’s point of view is understandable, and it just sounds like her sister has a messy house.
Of course, some commenters condemned the OP for being pretty dramatic and stated that her family relationships will do better if she still finds a common language with them about her phobia. According to some people, our heroine just needed to communicate better with her relatives, so as not to end up with a holiday ruined for both them and herself.
Image credits: Kathleen Tyler Conklin (not the actual photo)
If you have already made up your own mind about who is right and who’s not in this situation, then we’re already looking forward to your comments right below the post. And if you have ever experienced something similar as well, please feel free to tell your own story here.
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Am I the only one to have a problem wither misuse of their, which should have been there so many times in her story? Also, as she has brought this up before with her mum and the cooking is being done under mum's supervision she probably did overreact, I'm sure the mother would have made sure there was no dog hair hanging around the prep for the thanksgiving meal. Of course she may have developed a phobia based on past experience so I guess I get it.
I was a dog lover...until I lived with 2 dogs that knew no rules or boundaries. Now, to be fair, I know that's not the dog's fault but I feel like I (& anyone else) shouldn't be made to suffer or be a victim of poor training. I don't want to be jumped on, licked, &/or slobbered & drooled on while begging for food during a meal. People who have pets have a responsibility. I have 2 cats. I do my very best to keep my house clean, my cats are not allowed on counters, tables, don't eat people food, & I don't let them impose on other's in my house. I understand they're animals & they have fur, there's only so much I can do. In this situation I would be a little afraid to eat the food as well. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I just made 4 separate dishes for Thanksgiving & no one said the food was hairy. I wash my hands, my clothes are clean, my kitchen is clean. My cats aren't around the area when I'm cooking / baking, & I sure don't pet them when I'm in the kitchen.
That's exactly the issue I had with dogs when I lived with my grandmother: the dogs had no rules. I have one cat she's never jumped on the kitchen counter she doesn't eat people food even if I were to leave it right in front of her. My kitchen is tiny so she never really comes into the kitchen anyway, far too much risk of me tripping over her or stepping on her tail!
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I get that she does not want to eat dog hair and if you know someone is concernd about it they could have kept the dog out of the kitchen. There should have been a middleground.
I think the sister was being a little petty for bringing the dog in the first place. I’ve got 4 dogs and wouldn’t subject people to them. I also don’t cook for others. The sister was definitely acting out by bringing the dog.
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I have 4 cats and hair does find its way in food sometimes. You can definitely minimize it. Sounds like the main problem here was communication, or lack thereof. Not a good time to make your line in the sand. Also, I'd eat it until I found hair, it seems like you are looking for drama otherwise
I have one cat, and she has long hair, but to be honest the hair that finds its way into the food I prepare is mostly mine. My hair is constantly falling out.
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I am a complete dog lover. I love dogs more than humans. I still would not want dog hair in my food. Its unhygienic as heck.
I agree with the person who broke down her failure to communicate just how severe her aversion/dislike of dog hair is (capmanor1755 above). She seems to be the only one in the whole lot who has an issue with it, therefore she should be very upfront about it OR make and bring her own food. I don't think she's necessarily an AH but she's treating the situation like everyone else is supposed to bend over for her and she just can't have those expectations without proper communication or compromise.
I read it as her feeling hurt because they sort of chose the dog’s company over hers. I think a human will always lose if people are forced to choose between. It’s not that they love the animal more than the person; it’s that animals can’t speak up for themselves so we tend to advocate for them.
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Op, you are ABSOLUTELY NOT THE AH, AT ALL. I’m befuddled by folks taking offense to the idea of being disgusted at dog hair (or Any hair, for that matter) being in one’s food. We had two dogs (now one:( , one a gsd & one a terrier & I can say unequivocally that a hair from a dog, cat, human, or any living or non-living thing is Beyond Fowl. Yuck. 110% on your side, OP. Ffs-how is this even up for debate?!
Yes. Hair in the food is gross. But would you actually ruin your holiday and upset your entire family over a hair ? Wouldn’t you either get a fresh plate or stop eating ? Not leave like a drama Queen 😐 Life happens. If I accidentally got a hair in my food my mother prepared, I’d get rid of it. I know my mother is clean an washes Quite frequently so I don’t think I’d freak out. Hair in food is gross , no question but one would need to asses the situation. It really is her problem if she’s making such an issue and no one else in her family had a problem.
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Why are so many people calling this "a phobia?" Do you also laugh it off if a human hair gets in your food when eating out? Because basically all food gets prepared near humans with hair, as opposed to the amount of food that's prepared near animals. The "lots of people are okay with it" is a weird card to pull. Plenty of people eat bugs but I wouldn't call it a phobia not to want a bug on a plate that isn't meant to have a bug on it.
I don't mind eating my dog's hair. He sheds a lot and I am always covered in dog hair. But that's just me, and I don't expect anyone else to be okay with that. I am usually quite apologetic even if other people don't care. I think the family could have kept the dog out of the kitchen or put a shirt on the dog just for the day to prevent hair from getting everywhere while cooking. If they don't try to prevent or minimize the problem, then don't blame OP for leaving. What else could she do? It's fair that she doesn't want to eat dog hair.
What I find offensive is the family feeling it was necessary to 'blow-up' her phone. How about respecting her stand on having food with hair in it? She didn't stay to embarrass the sister/mother on the subject of pet hair in the dishes. Silence can not be misquoted.It's braver to go home than to stay and stand up to those who want to argue this point. She let the pies stay, which was nice.
Blow up get phone simply means they called her. She left a family get together angry. I think it's naturally for them to call to try to convince her to come back and not be mad. It comes from a place of wanting her there, not an attempt to understand or distracted her. Personally, I think the person who lost out the most in this situation was the mother, who was trying to accommodate her daughters, and wanted to spend time with them on Thanksgiving. These holidays are about spending time with family. She could have declined the food and still stayed with her mother and sister for the evening. She deprived them off her presence to punish them for being wrong. Otherwise she would have stayed.
Load More Replies... NTA. and i love dogs. Every now and then, people let you know where you stand in their pecking order. While it may have been an initial oversight, their actions demonstrate where you stand. We wont be spending Christmas with the family this year, and grandma wont see her only grandchild on Christmas day because my brother wont accommodate my Wifes fear of dogs (attacked as a child).
Dogs are cute and all but they're definitely one of the more unhygienic pets to have... You don't need to have a phobia to not want hairs in your food of an animal that has no problem rolling in s**t or eating it's own vomit...
YTA for not wanting to eat dog hair?! Omg. She told her mom and the sister still brought the dog over?? People really let sanitation go over dogs. Knew a guy who let his dog lick my food and said it was “still fine, I brush her teeth with my toothbrush!!”
ESH. Firstly, OP, it seems communicated to mom that she didn't like her sister's dog around food and didn't want to eat her sister's dishes. However, OP also says she didn't make a fuss when it happened, and it isn't clear OP communicated to mom the finding of dog hair in her food had been what put her off. Mom knew the elder daughter didn't want to eat food made by the younger daughter but accepted her help with cooking. If OP only found out by arriving early, I wonder if Mom planned to spring 'your sister helped cook' on OP at the end of the meal in hope that OP would get over her dislike of younger sister's cooking. But if Mom didn't know about the dog hair being found in food by OP, Mom couldn't adapt accordingly. Sister, it seems, needs to get into better food hygiene habits and better grooming habits with her dog. But at least OP left for the family the pies she's brought with her, she could have been a complete a*****e and taken them away.
Don't care if she's TA or not, the drastically $#itty typos put me off. If you have a hair/dirt phobia let your family know beforehand. If they're fine telling you to stay home, or they tried to appease you many many times, then frankly it sounds like you're the problem. Having said that, never allow dogs and cats into a kitchen while you cook. Not just for cleanliness' sake, but because it's incredibly dangerous for them. Animals are regularly injured by food getting dropped on them. It's awful.
I have a dog (who sheds copiously, but I rescued him right off the street so didn’t know that when I brought him home) and three cats. I love them all with a heart and a half, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to live in a hairy house. I have to vacuum A LOT! In fact, I used to have a Roomba, but finally killed it from all the animal hair it picked up when I had to run it every day. When I can afford another one, I will buy it. My point is that I run myself ragged keeping up with the hair because even I can’t get used to hair all over the place. Although the animal food and water bowls in my house are in the kitchen, they’re on the opposite end from the cooking area, and the animals are trained to not come near the stove and fridge. If I don’t want to wear, sit, or sleep in cat and dog hair, I sure as hell don’t want to EAT it—-and I love my fur babies!
I'm not a dog person, I never have been. I don't like dogs in the house, although I do understand in a cold climate it's necessary for the dog to be inside, which is why I would never have a dog. Also I don't really like the idea of going walking multiple times a day in any weather, and picking up little bags of poo. When I finished high school I lived with my grandmother for 4 years and she had 2 St. Bernard dogs and a little dog of indeterminate breed. I used to keep my door closed to make sure that the dogs did not go into my bedroom. I hate the dog smell, and the dog hair everywhere and the drool but it wasn't my house and I had to put up with it. The dogs slept in the kitchen at night, and I would be woken up at 5 am with my grandmother letting them out into the garden. I did not really enjoy the 4 years I lived there. Maybe if the dogs had all been regularly bathed and groomed, and properly trained, I would have felt differently.
It really isn't good to have dogs that just love outside even if the weather is great. Not unless the owners spend a great amount of time outdoors with them. I think most dogs who just live outside in the yard all year long are poorly socialized and that can make them more unpredictable and dangerous. Indoor did are with their people all the time, and they see guests come and go. They learn to either be social or avoid humans in an acceptable way. In the meantime outdoor dogs will growl and bark at any living thing that comes near their fence, or may hurt people when they're just trying to be nice, because they don't know how to accept pets or affection.
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She did the right thing. She was unhappy with the situation so she left. No one should stay in a situation they are uncomfortable with.
Their is a nasty situation. Dogs should have there fur cleaned / brushed. The sister is not taking good care of there dog. I agree with what others said, she should just have ordered chinese and ate it their at momma's house. Also I agree OP should spell check there writing.
I honestly really felt this lol! My sister has two huge Alaskan malamute dogs and everything mine she brings a dish over to my moms for Christmas /thanksgiving I always find malamute hairs in whatever she brings
So....as an animal lover, I have 3 cats, a horse, and various other animals. I vacuum 3 times a week, brush my cats nightly (part of our after dinner routine, outside on the porch) I wipe counters, tables, etc twice a day. BEFORE I cook, I wipe counters down, etc, just as a cleanliness habit. My hair is tied back. I used to have a very furry GSD, hence the cleaning habits. Never ONCE was any kind of hair found in my food. I agree with the OP here. Ive been to peoples homes for meals and blech. Animal hair everywhere... c'mon people. If you have pets, can you CLEAN??? Hair of any kind in food is gross.
I can’t believe all of this is over A HAIR. Everywhere you look in the world, there’s hair. Human hair, cat hair, dog hair, etc…sometimes it ends up in food. Would she have been a drama queen & left if she had found a hair in her food that was accidentally shed from her mother? Why not just get a new plate of food and enjoy Thanksgiving? This OP would hate holidays with us; ALL our family dogs are welcome!! We have a wonderful time visiting & catching up with each other, humans & canines both! And none of us has ever been killed by a hair. And I’m guessing the OP has no children..she definitely wouldn’t be flinching at a measly hair, she’d be thanking the gods that it wasn’t poop lol Life is what you make it, & it’s too short to get all bent out of shape over…A HAIR. ☮️
Lol we have 5 dogs in our house over the holidays. One of the mother of one of our dogs so it's like the whole family is getting together.
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If Chinese take.way looks like Chinese take-away I've encountered, she would have been better off with some dog hair
I wonder how she would feel knowing that all countries have an allowable limit of bug parts in foods sold in stores. Given the option of dog hair or bug parts I would choose dog hair.
I have a pretty sheddy dog (short coat, but she leaves fur everywhere like glitter), and we've never had a lot of dog hair in the food? I think the dog needs a proper groom and stripping.
I thought the same thing. I've always had dogs, but I've never had dog fur in my food. The dogs ate not able to reach where I'm cooking. It's more likely if fur is in her sister's food that it comes from her sister having fur on her, and not from the dogs presence. It's not like it's floating all in the air and landing in food.
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in my house cat hair is an accessory and a condiment... that being said, if someone is uncomfortable around my pets, i'm not taking them with me to subject that person to them. i'm also super clean in the kitchen and while the occassional hair will find its way into a dish, it's not often and i take extra care if preparing food that i'm sharing with people outside my house. it's a different story if someone wants to visit my house. my pets live here, you don't. if you don't want cat hair (or cats) on you, let's meet up somewhere else!
I absolutely adore dogs, but I find it equally repulsive if their hair is getting into the food. I don't even like finding people hair in my food. That one comment, though...it would be such a rude thing to order Chinese food and sit with everyone eating that while they eat Thanksgiving dinner....like what??
I have the same problem with people who don't tie their hair back. And are forever flicking it away/touching it with their hands while they cook. I don't know why cooking/baking shows don't insist on this.
She’s got a right to her boundaries. That said, Thanksgiving is not really about the food. She could have gotten Chinese and eaten with her family. But I think her feelings were hurt and she didn’t think of that. It probably felt like they were choosing the dog over her, and they sort of were. I’m going with No A******s Here
Millions of people every day, all over this planet accidently consume one of their dog's, or cat's, hairs. No one is dead yet. In my family it would be unusual to not find a pet hair where it doesn't belong. Get over it.
Same in my family, but what you said is like telling someone with a mild spider phobia "it's just a little one, get over it." What OP needs to do is smooth the family drama while clearly stating her boundaries. Sister has a right to have her dog stirring the bleeping soup if she want, OP has the right to not eat it. If Mom and sister have consideration for OP comfort, then they will keep the dog out of Mom's kitchen in the future.
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Slight ESH except doggo. It's fine if OP doesn't like dogs but if she isn't comfortable eating the food her sister prepared while doge was around, the least she could have done was tell them she appreciated the effort but she will be having her own food while being there before ordering takeout. Also, she can't fully be TA if she left her pies there before leaving. Sis, on the other hand, needs to look into doge's shedding issue and sanitize herself before doing any cooking ever again and leaving doge somewhere else in the process. I love animals too but no way am I ever letting them near the kitchen if cooking is taking place (yes, even cats or other pets). When there's cooking going on, all fur babies are to stay in the living room or den until the process is done.
I'm a dog owner of two dogs who regularly bakes and cooks for myself and others...but I make sure there's no dog hair on my clothes and normally when I'm helping cook big meals especially holiday ones I'll cook at someone else's home in the family. I rarely take the dogs to holiday get-togethers because my grandparents nurse's aide is afraid of dogs. But I bake and cook for work parties and I'm overly paranoid about sanitary conditions and dog fur so I understand why the op would be grossed out...and I own dogs!
Dogs are my life, I couldn't love them more, and mine are allowed in every room of the house, but not once in decades of having dogs has dog hair ended up in my food. I wouldn't eat somewhere that this was a common occurrence either.
Overall NTA because as an adult you're allowed to remove yourself from situations that you don't want to be in, one of the few perks of growing older. But the way she snaps back in her edits basically telling everyone who disagrees with her to kick rocks makes me feel like she's kind of bratty and just looking for something she can shove in her family's collective face to back up her perspective
You go to a fancy restaurant (or a nice steakhouse). You get your meal and there's hair in it. Are you still ok if you find out it's a worker's dog in the kitchen? I'm sure the health department won't be saying you're overreacting. Mom and sister prioritized the dog in the kitchen over the sister. They made their choice. No animals should ever be in a kitchen unless it's part of the meal.
Maybe a little YTA 😆 I mean when you eat in someone else’s home , you take that risk. Life is hard enough without being so overly sensitive. I am a coffee addict, so I ALWAYS bring my own coffee with me. I don’t expect others to always have what is a must for me. Just as I would never go spend times in a house with cats ( I love cats but I’m severely allergic). If the dog is that big of an issue for her , sounds like she’s going to miss out on a lot of family stuff. Very sad for everyone.
I can’t eat other people’s food full stop now. I don’t know what their hygiene and won’t trust it. I’ll give my diagnosis of having a digestive disorder as an excuse, I don’t care. I have cats and a dog and my kitchen is clean. I don’t cook with dirty clothes on and vacuum my house almost daily.
This is a very divisive post! I think she could have just pretended to eat, and said she wasn't very hungry. I've done this in houses where people have questionable cleaning practices. Unfortunately, people with pets who let their pets lick all of their dishes, or don't keep a clean kitchen, aren't going to change their minds. I also have pets, but I'm very picky about my cooking spaces. I wouldn't be okay with human hair in my food. Most people aren't. I don't see why dog hair should be okay. If there's hair in the food, hygiene and cleanliness are reasonably suspect all around.
So be a passive aggressive doormat... nah just tell them they are gross and don't eat there.
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YTA you could have asked your sister to put the dog in another room or outside while you were there. You could have eaten carry out at your mother's house. You could have made your own food. So many other options than dropping your pies off and leaving. I own 4 dogs and I've been asked to put them away. No big deal. Just one thing though...what would her reaction be if she found human hair in her food?
I have a dog that sheds a lot. I mean literally as soon as the vacuum passes there will be more hair. But strangely enough, not once have I had dog hair IN my food. My wife's hair, once I cut off a tip of my finger with a bit of nail, but never has there been dog hair in my soup. I can understand not being a dog person ... they smell, they shed hair, they eat messy, they beg ... but if it's not your house it's not your rules.
It’s hard to tell with the given info whether she is overreacting or not. Finding hanks of wet hair in your meal would be one thing, freaking out and burning your bridges over a single hair is another, you know?
It's possible that OP failed to communicate to mom the extent of her problem with dog hair. OP should apologize for making drama, using phrases like " I just can't handle eating food prepared near very furry animals" stress that it is OP problem, that she didn't mean to upset people, simply that she couldn't take it. Include statements of understanding that sister loves her dog so never brought up the issue because didn't want to upset sister. The goal with the apology is to remove family discord while making your boundary clear to everyone. So the apology is only for upsetting others with her reaction (I'm sorry I hurt you by leaving so abruptly. Not your fault I left, you didn't know/understand the severity of my issue. Please understand for the future that this is something I cannot handle) and whatever said, don't say it's unhygienic, don't get into why it's a problem, and don't say "if" (if your feeling were hurt) or anything that blames them.
For those down voting me, to clarify, sometimes an apology for causing drama or hurting feelings is good to smooth things down. The trick is, you are apologizing for handling the situation poorly, not for having boundaries. You can say that you handled the situation poorly since your reaction caused hurt feelings and drama while reiterating the boundary so everyone knows where it is. You can even bring them into problem solving so you don't get triggered again. For example here, a baby gate or other barrier so the dog can't come into mom's kitchen and maybe short sleeves while sister is cooking. Or OP volunteers to help Mom in future and sister gets to drink coffee and socialize while dog kept from kitchen.
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Little extreme. Worst case order in but get over it for one dinner
I don't think the OP is an AH for not wanting to eat dog hair. I think she might be for not communicating and then leaving. She opted out of Thanksgiving dinner, and that wasn't necessary. She could have ordered her Chinese food and come back. I don't think the sister was aware that the dog was going to bother the OP and I don't think they mother was aware that the OP felt that strongly about the dog. The perception of the dog shedding is relative. Perhaps the mom and sister don't think the shedding is that extreme. I have three dogs and I've never had any dog hair in any food, but they're all thin coat dogs with fine hair. It definitely gets on me but it's not floating around in the air and getting in my food. Is this common for other dog owners?? But even if it is just in OPs head it should be respected, but she needs to voice it first.
I have quite a few cats & dogs... yet I find my husband's hair in food weve cooked more than my pet hair.... (I have a shaved head so I know it's not mine! & his hair us very long!) so I get that you don't want hair in your food. But what's the difference in human hair & pet hair? The dog isn't making the food. But the ppl making it have full heads of hair too! Lol. Just as likely if not more likely that you're eating human hair. Lol. But I get it. You hate dogs. That's fine. BUT COMMUNICATION IS KEY! Your passive aggressive BS is so childish. Why not just eat your fucken pies & not cause drama? Especially when NOBODY KNEW THAT YOU FELT THIS WAY UNTIL IT HAPPENED! So how were ppl supposed to know you felt this way & prevent the animals from being there? God I hate ppl like this! "HOW DARE YOU NOT READ MY MIND OR PICK UP ON MY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BS! HAVENT YOU NOTICED HOW IVE BEEN STEWING IN THE CORNER FOR YEARS OVER THIS! GOD!"
You're* and how is not wanting to eat food with dog in it dramatic and self centered?
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But it seems OP's problem isn't with the dishes and cutlery, it is with finding dog hair in the food which has happened more than once, and it isn't a question of avoiding what OP's sister brought as the sister had apparently been there all day helping their mom prepare the food. So I think in OP's mind all the food was potentially contaminated/contained dog hair.
Load More Replies... Am I the only one to have a problem wither misuse of their, which should have been there so many times in her story? Also, as she has brought this up before with her mum and the cooking is being done under mum's supervision she probably did overreact, I'm sure the mother would have made sure there was no dog hair hanging around the prep for the thanksgiving meal. Of course she may have developed a phobia based on past experience so I guess I get it.
I was a dog lover...until I lived with 2 dogs that knew no rules or boundaries. Now, to be fair, I know that's not the dog's fault but I feel like I (& anyone else) shouldn't be made to suffer or be a victim of poor training. I don't want to be jumped on, licked, &/or slobbered & drooled on while begging for food during a meal. People who have pets have a responsibility. I have 2 cats. I do my very best to keep my house clean, my cats are not allowed on counters, tables, don't eat people food, & I don't let them impose on other's in my house. I understand they're animals & they have fur, there's only so much I can do. In this situation I would be a little afraid to eat the food as well. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I just made 4 separate dishes for Thanksgiving & no one said the food was hairy. I wash my hands, my clothes are clean, my kitchen is clean. My cats aren't around the area when I'm cooking / baking, & I sure don't pet them when I'm in the kitchen.
That's exactly the issue I had with dogs when I lived with my grandmother: the dogs had no rules. I have one cat she's never jumped on the kitchen counter she doesn't eat people food even if I were to leave it right in front of her. My kitchen is tiny so she never really comes into the kitchen anyway, far too much risk of me tripping over her or stepping on her tail!
Load More Replies... I get that she does not want to eat dog hair and if you know someone is concernd about it they could have kept the dog out of the kitchen. There should have been a middleground.
I think the sister was being a little petty for bringing the dog in the first place. I’ve got 4 dogs and wouldn’t subject people to them. I also don’t cook for others. The sister was definitely acting out by bringing the dog.
Load More Replies... I have 4 cats and hair does find its way in food sometimes. You can definitely minimize it. Sounds like the main problem here was communication, or lack thereof. Not a good time to make your line in the sand. Also, I'd eat it until I found hair, it seems like you are looking for drama otherwise
I have one cat, and she has long hair, but to be honest the hair that finds its way into the food I prepare is mostly mine. My hair is constantly falling out.
Load More Replies... I am a complete dog lover. I love dogs more than humans. I still would not want dog hair in my food. Its unhygienic as heck.
I agree with the person who broke down her failure to communicate just how severe her aversion/dislike of dog hair is (capmanor1755 above). She seems to be the only one in the whole lot who has an issue with it, therefore she should be very upfront about it OR make and bring her own food. I don't think she's necessarily an AH but she's treating the situation like everyone else is supposed to bend over for her and she just can't have those expectations without proper communication or compromise.
I read it as her feeling hurt because they sort of chose the dog’s company over hers. I think a human will always lose if people are forced to choose between. It’s not that they love the animal more than the person; it’s that animals can’t speak up for themselves so we tend to advocate for them.
Load More Replies... Op, you are ABSOLUTELY NOT THE AH, AT ALL. I’m befuddled by folks taking offense to the idea of being disgusted at dog hair (or Any hair, for that matter) being in one’s food. We had two dogs (now one:( , one a gsd & one a terrier & I can say unequivocally that a hair from a dog, cat, human, or any living or non-living thing is Beyond Fowl. Yuck. 110% on your side, OP. Ffs-how is this even up for debate?!
Yes. Hair in the food is gross. But would you actually ruin your holiday and upset your entire family over a hair ? Wouldn’t you either get a fresh plate or stop eating ? Not leave like a drama Queen 😐 Life happens. If I accidentally got a hair in my food my mother prepared, I’d get rid of it. I know my mother is clean an washes Quite frequently so I don’t think I’d freak out. Hair in food is gross , no question but one would need to asses the situation. It really is her problem if she’s making such an issue and no one else in her family had a problem.
Load More Replies... Why are so many people calling this "a phobia?" Do you also laugh it off if a human hair gets in your food when eating out? Because basically all food gets prepared near humans with hair, as opposed to the amount of food that's prepared near animals. The "lots of people are okay with it" is a weird card to pull. Plenty of people eat bugs but I wouldn't call it a phobia not to want a bug on a plate that isn't meant to have a bug on it.
I don't mind eating my dog's hair. He sheds a lot and I am always covered in dog hair. But that's just me, and I don't expect anyone else to be okay with that. I am usually quite apologetic even if other people don't care. I think the family could have kept the dog out of the kitchen or put a shirt on the dog just for the day to prevent hair from getting everywhere while cooking. If they don't try to prevent or minimize the problem, then don't blame OP for leaving. What else could she do? It's fair that she doesn't want to eat dog hair.
What I find offensive is the family feeling it was necessary to 'blow-up' her phone. How about respecting her stand on having food with hair in it? She didn't stay to embarrass the sister/mother on the subject of pet hair in the dishes. Silence can not be misquoted.It's braver to go home than to stay and stand up to those who want to argue this point. She let the pies stay, which was nice.
Blow up get phone simply means they called her. She left a family get together angry. I think it's naturally for them to call to try to convince her to come back and not be mad. It comes from a place of wanting her there, not an attempt to understand or distracted her. Personally, I think the person who lost out the most in this situation was the mother, who was trying to accommodate her daughters, and wanted to spend time with them on Thanksgiving. These holidays are about spending time with family. She could have declined the food and still stayed with her mother and sister for the evening. She deprived them off her presence to punish them for being wrong. Otherwise she would have stayed.
Load More Replies... NTA. and i love dogs. Every now and then, people let you know where you stand in their pecking order. While it may have been an initial oversight, their actions demonstrate where you stand. We wont be spending Christmas with the family this year, and grandma wont see her only grandchild on Christmas day because my brother wont accommodate my Wifes fear of dogs (attacked as a child).
Dogs are cute and all but they're definitely one of the more unhygienic pets to have... You don't need to have a phobia to not want hairs in your food of an animal that has no problem rolling in s**t or eating it's own vomit...
YTA for not wanting to eat dog hair?! Omg. She told her mom and the sister still brought the dog over?? People really let sanitation go over dogs. Knew a guy who let his dog lick my food and said it was “still fine, I brush her teeth with my toothbrush!!”
ESH. Firstly, OP, it seems communicated to mom that she didn't like her sister's dog around food and didn't want to eat her sister's dishes. However, OP also says she didn't make a fuss when it happened, and it isn't clear OP communicated to mom the finding of dog hair in her food had been what put her off. Mom knew the elder daughter didn't want to eat food made by the younger daughter but accepted her help with cooking. If OP only found out by arriving early, I wonder if Mom planned to spring 'your sister helped cook' on OP at the end of the meal in hope that OP would get over her dislike of younger sister's cooking. But if Mom didn't know about the dog hair being found in food by OP, Mom couldn't adapt accordingly. Sister, it seems, needs to get into better food hygiene habits and better grooming habits with her dog. But at least OP left for the family the pies she's brought with her, she could have been a complete a*****e and taken them away.
Don't care if she's TA or not, the drastically $#itty typos put me off. If you have a hair/dirt phobia let your family know beforehand. If they're fine telling you to stay home, or they tried to appease you many many times, then frankly it sounds like you're the problem. Having said that, never allow dogs and cats into a kitchen while you cook. Not just for cleanliness' sake, but because it's incredibly dangerous for them. Animals are regularly injured by food getting dropped on them. It's awful.
I have a dog (who sheds copiously, but I rescued him right off the street so didn’t know that when I brought him home) and three cats. I love them all with a heart and a half, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to live in a hairy house. I have to vacuum A LOT! In fact, I used to have a Roomba, but finally killed it from all the animal hair it picked up when I had to run it every day. When I can afford another one, I will buy it. My point is that I run myself ragged keeping up with the hair because even I can’t get used to hair all over the place. Although the animal food and water bowls in my house are in the kitchen, they’re on the opposite end from the cooking area, and the animals are trained to not come near the stove and fridge. If I don’t want to wear, sit, or sleep in cat and dog hair, I sure as hell don’t want to EAT it—-and I love my fur babies!
I'm not a dog person, I never have been. I don't like dogs in the house, although I do understand in a cold climate it's necessary for the dog to be inside, which is why I would never have a dog. Also I don't really like the idea of going walking multiple times a day in any weather, and picking up little bags of poo. When I finished high school I lived with my grandmother for 4 years and she had 2 St. Bernard dogs and a little dog of indeterminate breed. I used to keep my door closed to make sure that the dogs did not go into my bedroom. I hate the dog smell, and the dog hair everywhere and the drool but it wasn't my house and I had to put up with it. The dogs slept in the kitchen at night, and I would be woken up at 5 am with my grandmother letting them out into the garden. I did not really enjoy the 4 years I lived there. Maybe if the dogs had all been regularly bathed and groomed, and properly trained, I would have felt differently.
It really isn't good to have dogs that just love outside even if the weather is great. Not unless the owners spend a great amount of time outdoors with them. I think most dogs who just live outside in the yard all year long are poorly socialized and that can make them more unpredictable and dangerous. Indoor did are with their people all the time, and they see guests come and go. They learn to either be social or avoid humans in an acceptable way. In the meantime outdoor dogs will growl and bark at any living thing that comes near their fence, or may hurt people when they're just trying to be nice, because they don't know how to accept pets or affection.
Load More Replies... She did the right thing. She was unhappy with the situation so she left. No one should stay in a situation they are uncomfortable with.
Their is a nasty situation. Dogs should have there fur cleaned / brushed. The sister is not taking good care of there dog. I agree with what others said, she should just have ordered chinese and ate it their at momma's house. Also I agree OP should spell check there writing.
I honestly really felt this lol! My sister has two huge Alaskan malamute dogs and everything mine she brings a dish over to my moms for Christmas /thanksgiving I always find malamute hairs in whatever she brings
So....as an animal lover, I have 3 cats, a horse, and various other animals. I vacuum 3 times a week, brush my cats nightly (part of our after dinner routine, outside on the porch) I wipe counters, tables, etc twice a day. BEFORE I cook, I wipe counters down, etc, just as a cleanliness habit. My hair is tied back. I used to have a very furry GSD, hence the cleaning habits. Never ONCE was any kind of hair found in my food. I agree with the OP here. Ive been to peoples homes for meals and blech. Animal hair everywhere... c'mon people. If you have pets, can you CLEAN??? Hair of any kind in food is gross.
I can’t believe all of this is over A HAIR. Everywhere you look in the world, there’s hair. Human hair, cat hair, dog hair, etc…sometimes it ends up in food. Would she have been a drama queen & left if she had found a hair in her food that was accidentally shed from her mother? Why not just get a new plate of food and enjoy Thanksgiving? This OP would hate holidays with us; ALL our family dogs are welcome!! We have a wonderful time visiting & catching up with each other, humans & canines both! And none of us has ever been killed by a hair. And I’m guessing the OP has no children..she definitely wouldn’t be flinching at a measly hair, she’d be thanking the gods that it wasn’t poop lol Life is what you make it, & it’s too short to get all bent out of shape over…A HAIR. ☮️
Lol we have 5 dogs in our house over the holidays. One of the mother of one of our dogs so it's like the whole family is getting together.
Load More Replies... If Chinese take.way looks like Chinese take-away I've encountered, she would have been better off with some dog hair
I wonder how she would feel knowing that all countries have an allowable limit of bug parts in foods sold in stores. Given the option of dog hair or bug parts I would choose dog hair.
I have a pretty sheddy dog (short coat, but she leaves fur everywhere like glitter), and we've never had a lot of dog hair in the food? I think the dog needs a proper groom and stripping.
I thought the same thing. I've always had dogs, but I've never had dog fur in my food. The dogs ate not able to reach where I'm cooking. It's more likely if fur is in her sister's food that it comes from her sister having fur on her, and not from the dogs presence. It's not like it's floating all in the air and landing in food.
Load More Replies... in my house cat hair is an accessory and a condiment... that being said, if someone is uncomfortable around my pets, i'm not taking them with me to subject that person to them. i'm also super clean in the kitchen and while the occassional hair will find its way into a dish, it's not often and i take extra care if preparing food that i'm sharing with people outside my house. it's a different story if someone wants to visit my house. my pets live here, you don't. if you don't want cat hair (or cats) on you, let's meet up somewhere else!
I absolutely adore dogs, but I find it equally repulsive if their hair is getting into the food. I don't even like finding people hair in my food. That one comment, though...it would be such a rude thing to order Chinese food and sit with everyone eating that while they eat Thanksgiving dinner....like what??
I have the same problem with people who don't tie their hair back. And are forever flicking it away/touching it with their hands while they cook. I don't know why cooking/baking shows don't insist on this.
She’s got a right to her boundaries. That said, Thanksgiving is not really about the food. She could have gotten Chinese and eaten with her family. But I think her feelings were hurt and she didn’t think of that. It probably felt like they were choosing the dog over her, and they sort of were. I’m going with No A******s Here
Millions of people every day, all over this planet accidently consume one of their dog's, or cat's, hairs. No one is dead yet. In my family it would be unusual to not find a pet hair where it doesn't belong. Get over it.
Same in my family, but what you said is like telling someone with a mild spider phobia "it's just a little one, get over it." What OP needs to do is smooth the family drama while clearly stating her boundaries. Sister has a right to have her dog stirring the bleeping soup if she want, OP has the right to not eat it. If Mom and sister have consideration for OP comfort, then they will keep the dog out of Mom's kitchen in the future.
Load More Replies... Slight ESH except doggo. It's fine if OP doesn't like dogs but if she isn't comfortable eating the food her sister prepared while doge was around, the least she could have done was tell them she appreciated the effort but she will be having her own food while being there before ordering takeout. Also, she can't fully be TA if she left her pies there before leaving. Sis, on the other hand, needs to look into doge's shedding issue and sanitize herself before doing any cooking ever again and leaving doge somewhere else in the process. I love animals too but no way am I ever letting them near the kitchen if cooking is taking place (yes, even cats or other pets). When there's cooking going on, all fur babies are to stay in the living room or den until the process is done.
I'm a dog owner of two dogs who regularly bakes and cooks for myself and others...but I make sure there's no dog hair on my clothes and normally when I'm helping cook big meals especially holiday ones I'll cook at someone else's home in the family. I rarely take the dogs to holiday get-togethers because my grandparents nurse's aide is afraid of dogs. But I bake and cook for work parties and I'm overly paranoid about sanitary conditions and dog fur so I understand why the op would be grossed out...and I own dogs!
Dogs are my life, I couldn't love them more, and mine are allowed in every room of the house, but not once in decades of having dogs has dog hair ended up in my food. I wouldn't eat somewhere that this was a common occurrence either.
Overall NTA because as an adult you're allowed to remove yourself from situations that you don't want to be in, one of the few perks of growing older. But the way she snaps back in her edits basically telling everyone who disagrees with her to kick rocks makes me feel like she's kind of bratty and just looking for something she can shove in her family's collective face to back up her perspective
You go to a fancy restaurant (or a nice steakhouse). You get your meal and there's hair in it. Are you still ok if you find out it's a worker's dog in the kitchen? I'm sure the health department won't be saying you're overreacting. Mom and sister prioritized the dog in the kitchen over the sister. They made their choice. No animals should ever be in a kitchen unless it's part of the meal.
Maybe a little YTA 😆 I mean when you eat in someone else’s home , you take that risk. Life is hard enough without being so overly sensitive. I am a coffee addict, so I ALWAYS bring my own coffee with me. I don’t expect others to always have what is a must for me. Just as I would never go spend times in a house with cats ( I love cats but I’m severely allergic). If the dog is that big of an issue for her , sounds like she’s going to miss out on a lot of family stuff. Very sad for everyone.
I can’t eat other people’s food full stop now. I don’t know what their hygiene and won’t trust it. I’ll give my diagnosis of having a digestive disorder as an excuse, I don’t care. I have cats and a dog and my kitchen is clean. I don’t cook with dirty clothes on and vacuum my house almost daily.
This is a very divisive post! I think she could have just pretended to eat, and said she wasn't very hungry. I've done this in houses where people have questionable cleaning practices. Unfortunately, people with pets who let their pets lick all of their dishes, or don't keep a clean kitchen, aren't going to change their minds. I also have pets, but I'm very picky about my cooking spaces. I wouldn't be okay with human hair in my food. Most people aren't. I don't see why dog hair should be okay. If there's hair in the food, hygiene and cleanliness are reasonably suspect all around.
So be a passive aggressive doormat... nah just tell them they are gross and don't eat there.
Load More Replies... YTA you could have asked your sister to put the dog in another room or outside while you were there. You could have eaten carry out at your mother's house. You could have made your own food. So many other options than dropping your pies off and leaving. I own 4 dogs and I've been asked to put them away. No big deal. Just one thing though...what would her reaction be if she found human hair in her food?
I have a dog that sheds a lot. I mean literally as soon as the vacuum passes there will be more hair. But strangely enough, not once have I had dog hair IN my food. My wife's hair, once I cut off a tip of my finger with a bit of nail, but never has there been dog hair in my soup. I can understand not being a dog person ... they smell, they shed hair, they eat messy, they beg ... but if it's not your house it's not your rules.
It’s hard to tell with the given info whether she is overreacting or not. Finding hanks of wet hair in your meal would be one thing, freaking out and burning your bridges over a single hair is another, you know?
It's possible that OP failed to communicate to mom the extent of her problem with dog hair. OP should apologize for making drama, using phrases like " I just can't handle eating food prepared near very furry animals" stress that it is OP problem, that she didn't mean to upset people, simply that she couldn't take it. Include statements of understanding that sister loves her dog so never brought up the issue because didn't want to upset sister. The goal with the apology is to remove family discord while making your boundary clear to everyone. So the apology is only for upsetting others with her reaction (I'm sorry I hurt you by leaving so abruptly. Not your fault I left, you didn't know/understand the severity of my issue. Please understand for the future that this is something I cannot handle) and whatever said, don't say it's unhygienic, don't get into why it's a problem, and don't say "if" (if your feeling were hurt) or anything that blames them.
For those down voting me, to clarify, sometimes an apology for causing drama or hurting feelings is good to smooth things down. The trick is, you are apologizing for handling the situation poorly, not for having boundaries. You can say that you handled the situation poorly since your reaction caused hurt feelings and drama while reiterating the boundary so everyone knows where it is. You can even bring them into problem solving so you don't get triggered again. For example here, a baby gate or other barrier so the dog can't come into mom's kitchen and maybe short sleeves while sister is cooking. Or OP volunteers to help Mom in future and sister gets to drink coffee and socialize while dog kept from kitchen.
Load More Replies... Little extreme. Worst case order in but get over it for one dinner
I don't think the OP is an AH for not wanting to eat dog hair. I think she might be for not communicating and then leaving. She opted out of Thanksgiving dinner, and that wasn't necessary. She could have ordered her Chinese food and come back. I don't think the sister was aware that the dog was going to bother the OP and I don't think they mother was aware that the OP felt that strongly about the dog. The perception of the dog shedding is relative. Perhaps the mom and sister don't think the shedding is that extreme. I have three dogs and I've never had any dog hair in any food, but they're all thin coat dogs with fine hair. It definitely gets on me but it's not floating around in the air and getting in my food. Is this common for other dog owners?? But even if it is just in OPs head it should be respected, but she needs to voice it first.
I have quite a few cats & dogs... yet I find my husband's hair in food weve cooked more than my pet hair.... (I have a shaved head so I know it's not mine! & his hair us very long!) so I get that you don't want hair in your food. But what's the difference in human hair & pet hair? The dog isn't making the food. But the ppl making it have full heads of hair too! Lol. Just as likely if not more likely that you're eating human hair. Lol. But I get it. You hate dogs. That's fine. BUT COMMUNICATION IS KEY! Your passive aggressive BS is so childish. Why not just eat your fucken pies & not cause drama? Especially when NOBODY KNEW THAT YOU FELT THIS WAY UNTIL IT HAPPENED! So how were ppl supposed to know you felt this way & prevent the animals from being there? God I hate ppl like this! "HOW DARE YOU NOT READ MY MIND OR PICK UP ON MY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BS! HAVENT YOU NOTICED HOW IVE BEEN STEWING IN THE CORNER FOR YEARS OVER THIS! GOD!"
You're* and how is not wanting to eat food with dog in it dramatic and self centered?
Load More Replies... But it seems OP's problem isn't with the dishes and cutlery, it is with finding dog hair in the food which has happened more than once, and it isn't a question of avoiding what OP's sister brought as the sister had apparently been there all day helping their mom prepare the food. So I think in OP's mind all the food was potentially contaminated/contained dog hair.
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