Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices

My main reason is that I feared I would become a mother like mine is so I have no regrets and instead I enjoy being the favourite aunt

Same. I never met mine either. I probably would have screwed it up anyways.

I met someone when I was 52. We've been together two and a half years and married 9 months.

I am 59 years old and never had children. Never wanted them . Never liked kids. Don't regret it at all. I love animals and have had lots of four legged babies over the years and now am very happy with my little cat. I have weight problems, mental health problems and I have diabetes so wouldn't have wanted to pass on my genes anyway

This reminds me something I read. In Islam, there's the concept of 'Rizq'. It means provision so essentially anything provided for us by Allah. It includes everything from food, water, shelter, clothing, companions, spouse etc. And it is a beautiful concept when you think of it on a smaller level. For example, I love rice and I wanted to and planned to eat some leftover ones the other day. But at the end, my dad got to eat them because it was his 'rizq' and from the moment those rice grains grew and were harvested, they had my Dad's name written all over it because they were his. All of those rice grains were provided by Allah for him and hence, they found his way to him despite the fact that I wanted to eat them first. And the post I was reading was from Omar Suleiman's Youtube video. He is a Muslim scholar. And the post was something like this: Romance is like rizq. Not everybody gets it. And it just made me infinitely sad because the concept of rizq otherwise is so beautiful.

Wise decision...

Yep. Once you have a kid you're tied to that other person forever.

I did have children with previous partners - one disappeared and the other sicced a motorcycle gang on me. Both probably did the right thing

Same. When I have a mental health episode, I can barely care for myself, much less a child.

Same, - I like the idea of children and a family of my own but I know I can't be there for anyone mentally, emotionally. I don't know how to feel with people. I barely feel emotions as it is

Me too. It would have been nice but in reality the pro and con list (in regards to the childs quality of life) was not in their favor. Too bad but que sera, sera...

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Yes! This is the whole point! Time and choice of activity doesn't really matter that much when you don't have kids. I love spontaneity and the freedom to do what I want, when i want! I'm 38, with a husband and two dogs. Dogs (especially APBT's) do kind of limit things like flights and hotels... so we bought a large travel trailer for spontaneous vacations... problem solved! I'm pretty sure this is how we've ended up staying together for the last 20 years... don't hardly know any couples with kids that end up making it very long these days...

I am 76 and have never regretted choosing not to have children - I travelled and have had a great and interesting life.

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Hmm, It can become a bit shallow though. When my ex and I were in our 20s and 30s we flew first class, stayed at 5 star hotels, sat drinking cocktails on the best beaches in the world. But it becomes stale quite quickly. Sitting on the sofa giggling with my daughter is worth a lot of first class plane tickets. If you don't want kids, fine, go and do something awesome and worthwhile. but cocktails on the beach scrolling reddit is not satisfying in the long term.

Exactly this. Because of not marrying and not having kids, I have lived in almost every part of the US, sans the Northeast. Right now, at 47, I was able to quit my job temporarily to go back home and take care of my elderly mother. I am working again, but it's local, not traveling the midwest. I wouldn't be able to do any of that with a spouse and/or kids. I have lived an adventurous life and when my mother passes, I will continue my adventures.

Yes. This is a real problem. Also for infertility. I advice many people via my fertility blog and most are middle class and up, bc others cant afford treatments and often just give up. (there are low cost hacks to do if you skip your genetics and do embryo donation instead, it was under 2000 dollars inc meds and all in Czech. Still a lot of money, but less then IVF and egg donation.

This is how I feel. I've always been ambivalent about having kids, but never had the financial stability to afford them anyway. My husband has been homeless before and neither of us wanted to inflict that on a child.

May I borrow the dog from the picture.

There is always the option of fostering or adoption. :)

If you knew my father and my childhood (imagine being a boy raised only by your mom and two older sisters because dad could be bothered to teach anything a son needed to know) you would understand my choice to never have children. Imagine being that kid in school who knew nothing about any kind of sports (gym class sk'd big time) and no interest.

With donation you still have possibility, parenthood isnt in the genes, it is in the bonding.

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Just say you didn’t want to. This is the dumbest excuse. Usually the person is just depressed or something and not wanting to “pass that on.” I don’t want kids either really but this is silly to me.

I always wanted to travel, I am excellent at learning languages and I wanted the opportunity to work in different countries. I have lived in 6 countries, worked in 7 as an IT expert and learned 4 languages (including my native English). My only regrets involve the break-up of relationships with various girlfriends when I had to move on (I was 52 when I finally got married - to a lady from an 8th country!). Try doing any of that with children in tow. I am a high-driven intellectual anyway and I have immense difficulty talking to kids.

Kids don't need a 'top tier life' - what does that even mean? They just need your love, time and attention. If you wait until you feel like you're financially ready to have kids, you will never be ready. It's obviously important to not be bankrupt or crippled by debt, but there's a point where you just have to jump in. You work it out

I strongly agree with this one.

I think about this a lot. I have three sons, and I love them more than anything, but if I were younger today, and just starting out, I would probably choose differently.

I would have liked to get married too, but every man I got into a relationship with revealed later that they wanted kids and expected (yes, expected) me to go through my worst nightmare for them and have kids. So I'm still single after being engaged three times even though I told them from the start not to propose if they wanted kids

Aunts and uncles get the best of both worlds. They’re like grandparents without the extra work.

I know OP won't read my response. But sometimes infertility can come unexpectedly. I was with my ex for 15 years, never used condoms or any other form of contraception. I have only had 1 pregnancy in 15 years. The reason? I was very ill when she was conceived (cough, fever, chills, name it!). By talking to my doctor about it, we did research into the cause. Actually, I'm allergic to sperm. Really very allergic. The fact that I was sick during conception meant that my body was not strong enough to fight. My daughter is 23 now!

I had so many miscarriages in the first trimester, then abuse by family for not having children that menopause was a relief. Now seeing the kids of those family members growing up, all on the Autistic Spectrum, I am thankful I did not have children. I am on that Spectrum too, and they would have not had a stable life.