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As we go through life, we cross paths with countless people every day. And while many of them have faced serious hardships, you wouldn’t always know it just by looking.

But if you pay attention, the signs are there. Maybe it’s the way they’re overly kind, always putting others first. Or how they apologize too much, even when there’s no reason to. Some become expert people-pleasers, doing everything they can to avoid conflict.

Redditors recently shared these and other subtle clues that reveal someone has been through a lot. Here’s what they had to say.

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#1

Young woman with a distressed expression looking out a window, illustrating signs of trauma in their life. They don’t ask for help, because people have let them down a lot.

wildcampion , A. C./Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #2

    Man showing signs of trauma in life looking down while another person offers supportive hand on his shoulder indoors They are empathetic, kind and generous- because they get it.

    Foolsinlove22 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #3

    Person wearing a hooded jacket and backpack standing alone on a beach, reflecting signs of trauma in life. Stubbornly independent because they don’t believe they can rely on anyone.

    misscararara , A. C./Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #4

    Elderly man with a serious expression seated in a chair, illustrating signs of trauma and emotional distress in life. Zero tolerance for drama, b******t and toxic behaviour.

    They're more likely to just walk away from friendships and relationships at the first sign.

    Nosedive888 , David Hinkle/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #5

    Group of diverse people standing closely together indoors, illustrating social signs related to trauma in life. People pleasing. Apologising too much. Internalised blame. Not being fazed by terrible things and finds very little to be really shocking. A good listener. Lack of boundaries. A loner. Quiet. Avoids people and crowds. Avoids drama. Doesn't really care about gossip, small talk or the mundane stuff. Doesn't have much to do with family.

    Sometimes I wish I didn't know these things.

    Edit: Thanks for my biggest up vote and response yet people. I don't feel so alone today.
    There are good people in this world. Keep fighting and learning every day. ❤️.

    User , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #6

    Young man showing signs of trauma in his life, sitting with head down and appearing deeply troubled indoors. Keeping themself distant from everyone. Not opening up.

    yawner44 , Jordan González/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #7

    Two women having an emotional conversation on a couch, illustrating signs of trauma in their lives. In social situations they never ask people about their family. Mostly cuz they don’t want people asking them about theirs. That’s a new one my wife pointed out to me.

    sleeping_lessons_ , Nini FromParis/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #8

    Woman with messy hair in a dim room holding her head showing signs of trauma and emotional distress We lose it over little things because we aren’t allowed to lose it over big things. Surprisingly reliable during high-stakes chaos but a tiny small thing will send us spiralling for days.

    FarMembership885 , Pablo Merchán Montes/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #9

    Elderly woman comforting a younger woman outside, showing signs of trauma and emotional support in a natural setting They appreciate the tiniest things around them. They are super empathetic and kind. But they can also flip like a switch if you push too hard.

    Immediate-Tooth-2174 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #10

    Two teenage boys smiling and laughing outdoors, illustrating signs of trauma in life through positive interaction. Incredibly self aware, very open about some experiences, make jokes about trauma....

    Enough about me! How are you doing?

    User , LaShawn Dobbs/uNSPLASH (not the actual photo) Report

    #11

    Close-up portrait of a young person showing subtle signs of trauma in their life with a neutral expression outdoors. They have the ability to turn to stone at the snap.of a finger. Any past emotions, just gone.

    User , Nathan Dumlao/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #12

    Man analyzing data on computer screens in an office, illustrating signs that show someone has had trauma in life. They stand up loudly for people who are being treated unfairly. .

    ananonh , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #13

    Woman with glasses and curly hair discussing signs of trauma in a counseling session with another person. They instantly click with other people who have been through a lot of s**t before even realising the other person has been through a lot of s**t

    No seriously it's like a sensor.

    anon , A. C./Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #14

    Young woman celebrating birthday with cake and sparklers, showing signs of trauma in her life. They don’t like their birthdays celebrated.

    ks445 , Ahmet Kurt/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #15

    Man wearing glasses and a black hat smiling while lifting it, illustrating signs of trauma in their life. Sarcasm, thick skin, quick wit and dark humor.

    MammothMolasses2285 , Giacomo Lucarini/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #16

    Young man with glasses and beard outdoors in golden light, representing signs of trauma in their life experience. An uncanny ability to read past the literal words someone says and hear what they're really saying, even if they didn't want to tell you that.

    Low-Temperature-1664 , Vicky Hladynets/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #17

    Caretaker gently comforting an elderly man, illustrating signs that show someone has had a lot of trauma in their life. Being an "Empath ".  People who grew up in incredibly abusive households, learn to be hyper aware of Incredibly subtle body language and speech, as a coping mechanism from violently unpredictable Relationships.  They are often very in tune with the emotions of those around them.

    Simple_Mycologist679 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #18

    Close-up of a woman with red lipstick crying, showing emotional signs often linked to trauma in their life. They apologize a lot for basically everything.

    kikiikandii , Kateryna Hliznitsova/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #19

    Young man sitting on steps, deep in thought, showing signs of trauma and emotional struggle in life. Extreme self-awareness is often present. Empathy and effort to understand as well.

    Due-Kaleidoscope-405 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #20

    Young woman showing signs of trauma, looking concerned while working on a laptop in a modern home setting. How fast they can flip the switch and not put up with your s**t anymore.

    EDIT: WOW! So appreciative of not only the thousands of upvotes but the hundreds of comments as well. I truly believe that having open discussions about things like this are the path to overcoming your difficulties and being successful. I also appreciate the numerous private messages that have been sent. Please know that I either have or plan to respond to every single one of them.

    Efficient_Pickle4744 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #21

    Two people holding hands showing support and care, highlighting signs of trauma in someone's life. Can't take a compliment because to them thats the start of manipulation. Also don't like gifts becuase they come with strings usually and they aren't prepared to have something else come back at them because they "accepted" the gifts.

    Also likely fiercely independant, although you get the ones that go the other way and are too scared to do *anything* alone.

    User , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #22

    Young woman with braided hair standing confidently, reflecting signs of trauma in their life experience. Unflappable. Nothing you could possible say could shock them. They appear to handle bad news well because of this, but it’s actually a shut down response.

    Wrong_Motor5371 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #23

    Man in sunglasses holding a skateboard outdoors showing signs that show someone has had a lot of trauma in their life They’re angry, and resentful. I’m going against the grain here by saying this but as someone who has experienced child abuse and been blamed for it and been misunderstood my entire life, yeah, I’m angry and resentful.

    Sorry.

    Update: thanks everyone. To those who are going through similar, I feel you, a lot.

    namenotprovided , Zahra Omer/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #24

    Two young men on a soccer field, one helping the other up, symbolizing signs of trauma recovery and support Their eyes don’t sparkle yet they are the kindest souls to ANYONE and EVERYONE.

    Kng_Miklosy , Ahmed/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #25

    Young man wearing a gray hoodie, looking over his shoulder with a serious expression, showing signs of trauma. Socially distant, not trusting of anyone.

    User , Irham Setyaki/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #26

    Young person with short hair and acne wearing a white shirt, representing signs of trauma in their life. They don’t trust people and aren’t surprised by weird things that people do in public.

    Necessary_Royal_7206 , Frank Flores/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #27

    Close-up of a blue eye showing subtle emotional expression, illustrating signs of trauma in someone's life experience. The eyes are a pretty good indicator. “Been through s**t eyes” seems to be a thing.

    Dry_Action1734 , Amanda Dalbjörn/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #29

    Young woman smiling outdoors, illustrating signs that show someone has experienced a lot of trauma in their life People who laugh and seem happy,try to make others laugh i believe can hide a lot of things behind that mask.

    anon , Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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