Imagine waking up on Christmas morning and not having any siblings to share in your excitement for the day. Imagine not having to “rock paper scissors” for the last slice of pizza. Imagine getting up to go to the bathroom and returning to find your favorite seat still open and waiting for you. Imagine never having to compromise on what you want for dinner.
Ah, the elusive life of an only child. Of course, 20% of people in the world know exactly what it’s like to grow up without siblings. But for those of us who grew up wearing hand-me-downs and squeezing into the dreaded middle car seat, there are some dead giveaways that someone else was an only child. Reddit users have recently been discussing these traits, so you’ll find some of their most spot on responses below, as well as some thoughts from only children on what makes them unique!
This post may include affiliate links.
I told my bf to close his eyes and open his mouth(I was surprising him with candy), and he just did it with no suspicion at all.
People with siblings can’t trust like that.
I can't tell for adults, but when it's one of my kids' friends, the kid who ends up trying to hang out with the adults and gets overwhelmed by being in a group of kids has been an only child 100% of the time in my experience.
From my own experience, not being as prone to loneliness. The only time I really feel lonely is when I'm around people I'd rather not be with.
Exactly. The thought of being lonely with yourself is not a known feeling.
Thinking friendship is like having siblings. Its not. I would never smash a toy on my friend's head and expect them to speak to me after.
Pretty good at keeping ourselves entertained or doing things alone/being independent.
I'm exactly like this - middle child of 3 girls. Sometimes people just enjoy their own company.
Only child here. As a kid, I couldn’t relate to other children. Their behavior was completely foreign to me. Even now that I’m old, most people seem odd.
I tended to find other kids immature, because I was more used to adult company.
They can get s**t done without asking for help. Example- I’ve had people calling me to assist them in making the bed because they needed somebody to hold the other corner of the sheet?? Dude, this is not a 2 people job! I was doing something else and you require assistance with a piece of cotton?
Same goes for putting together furniture. ‘Takes 2 people to assemble’ . Sure. It takes 2 people to assemble unless they are an only child, then it just takes the one.
On a more positive note… from personal experience, being secure with doing things alone
I am an only child… I’ve noticed I tend to make a lot of life choices on my own and don’t seek out a lot of advice or ask for help when I could definitely use it. In fact, I’ve been pretty deep in tough situations when I finally have the realization that there are people and resources I can utilize. It’s not so much I’m worried about asking for help, more like it doesn’t even register in my brain that there is help outside of myself.
When they get [mad] that things aren't done the way they think it should be done because they've never had to compromise with anyone before.
This I don't relate to. It was always my mom's way or the highway. She still tries to get a leverage over me. Crazy thing is she's not an only child.
I’m an only child. One huge difference I see time and time again with those who have siblings—they had much more exposure to a longer timespan of media/music/games growing up. My idea of nostalgia consists of my specific timeline of media growing up, but those with siblings were able to watch tv shows their older brother watched, or knows about that game their little sister played.
True never would have listened to punk rock or heavy metal without a brother. Probably never would have read Steven King without a sister.
Wishing they had siblings.
Someone with siblings probably wishes they were an only child.
People have always asked if I wanted siblings. I have no idea what it would be like, so I just say no. I do often wonder what they would be like, but the idea is passing and I'd rather stare at a doughnut.
Well people with siblings don't stare at doughnuts, we eat them as fast as we can because that "otherwise it will be gone in seconds, and if you are lucky you've got to share it" is deeply ingrained in every fiber of our being.
Load More Replies...
My daughter is an only child. I’m the middle of 3. When she was about 11 she told me she was glad I never had more children as she would have wanted me to give them away so that she could still have all of my attention.
Load More Replies...
I never wanted siblings as a child, but now that my folks are gone, I so wish there was someone else to share those memories I have of them 😥
Only child here... Not having siblings has always felt like being born missing a limb, it feels normal for you but you still know something is missing. When I was young I used to think I was missing out but now I know plenty of siblings don't get along.
That's exactly how I feel, you've described it perfectly
Load More Replies...
I'm the middle child so I never get any of the attention, or the stuff, or the love or anything, so I just wish I could have more attention from my mum or anything. Also, my siblings are both EXTREMLY needy. Like, they beg for random sh!t every day, and then throw a fit if they don't get it, so I rly do wish I was an only child. (Sorry for minorly trauma dumping lol)
I'm the oldest and I relate. The younger one is the favorite,
Load More Replies... I'm not entirely a single child. I have 2 half brothers and a step-brother who all live with my Dad and his wife. I live with my mom. Since going to my Dad's was so sporadic and eventually non-existent I did miss my brothers. There was a time when I wished my mom had another kid. But by the time I got to my teens I realized it's a good thing I'm an only child. My mom ended up marrying someone with 2 older teens for a while but they soon moved out. I never really saw the as siblings.
I used to want siblings. Mainly to have someone to ask stuff or get advice.
I was an only child until I was 16, so I got to have it both ways. It's also different when you are nearly an adult when the next child comes along. I loved helping with the baby, and there was no jealousy.
Yes, I always joke that my mother had two only children. No jealousy because there wasn't anything I needed from my mother that overlapped with my brother's needs
Load More Replies...
I hate my brother who is a despicable human being, we're NC. But I love my sister. I always wanted a younger sibling. I didn't like being the youngest. I always wanted to be for a younger sibling what my sister was for me and more.
What's funny is I'm the oldest and wish I had older siblings
Load More Replies...
I am an only child of a single mother, when she died my whole childhood went with her. At the time I had one daughter, she is now one of three. I just couldn't bear the thought of her going through that.
I have siblings and I wouldn't trade them for the world don't get me wrong sometimes they really p**s me off but it's all over and done with at the end of the day.
I used to wish I was an only child because I only have one sister but I have one of those Italian families where I know my twelfth cousins and I realized not everybody has that and made me appreciate my family
I have siblings. Its not all that its cracked up to be. It can be very wonderful or very painful.
I never wanted siblings. I had no need for them. What I lacked in brothers or sisters, I had cousins to fill that spot. They were/are as close to siblings w/o actually being one.
Not always! My son was very outspoken on that topic. His exact words were "No, Mom. Only me. I just need you. "
Well my siblings take the spotlight away from me so I can do whatever the hell I want while my parents chase them around 😂
Only child here that never once wished for siblings as a child. I’m grateful I didn’t feel like I was missing out. Never occurred to me.
I never wished to be an only child! I wished for siblings and then I got them and yeah, there were days I was annoyed by one or the other of them. There had been incidents that caused rifts at times as adults, but they're still by best friends and I'd never want to not have them.
I never really thought about it lol i hated one sister growing up and loved the other but now i no longer hate the one sister and we are really close now
Nope. I never wished I didn't have a sibling, I wished I had more siblings! Even asked for an OLDER brother. 😂
You will love them and want to kill them at same time.. Depending on how much s**t they stew and stir for today.
I’m a only child and it sucks sometimes, and sometimes it’s great. But siblings will never have all the responsibility of a dying parent on their (one person instead of siblings) shoulders that have to make all the decisions, and another parent in a nursing home, I’m always alone, I don’t have anyone to lean on when s**t gets bad. It’s hard making some of those life and death decisions on a parent, especially when you love both your parents.
Only child who absolutely did not want another child in the house. I had to deal with them all day at school; home was a child free (well, besides me) zone.
I had cousins that lived with me and that was enough of a sibling experience for me to say with absolutely certainty that I don't want siblings. You can't escape them, most family works best in visiting distance. They're something you miss when ypu don't have, but overstay their welcome often.
Yup, most people with siblings wish they were only children as kids, but when they get older, they're glad to have them - at least, if they're halfway decent human beings.
My mom was an only child and would literally scream at my two brothers and I for "how we should be so lucky to have each other" and "I would NEVER treat my siblings like this" blah blah blah. She didn't understand but my dad definitely did, he has 3 sisters. I am grateful to have my brothers but we were up each others' butts all the time and we were sick of each other. It just comes with the territory
I kind of feel like an only child right now. My sister lives fairly close by but leaves me to do all the elderly parent caring, especially with my mother who has alzheimer's. She says it's because she works full time but so do I and not only that I work day and night shifts. She doesn't even call our mum to see how she's doing, mum is still very much present and aware but my sister just exists in her own little world. Neither of us have kids either so she can't use that excuse.
I've never wished for a sibling. I've pretty much just accepted the fact that I'm too selfish for any.
My best friend is an only child, while I am the oldest of 3 siblings. She's always saying she'd love having siblings- and girl, I will gladly give you my siblings-I need some alone time
I never once wished to be an only child. I love my siblings. I loved them even when they were stupid kids doing stupid things and I love them now as adults.
I mean I have a brother who was around the same age as me, but because he never hung out, I still wished I had siblings.
Nope. I have 3 siblings and would never wish that I didn't.
Oh gosh yes!! Especially now at 63. My mom and grandparents are dead, my kids and grandkids live out of town. What I wouldn't do for a sibling.
Whenever I say "I wish I was an only child", someone will say "no, you dont" and it makes me a little mad bc you havE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!!
Not entirely sure about this. Depends on a lot. I have a terrible relationship with my sister that probably will end at a court eventually, but anyway - it wasn't always this bad. She was the one who explained to me how to wear tampons or sanitary pads, I was the one who carried her to the toilet and back again on my back when she was very sick and washed her by myself (I was 12, she was very ill, she was 19 and our parents...well..weren't exactly the best parents), she was the one who helped me out when I was jobless and really needed money for psychotherapy. Things have changed, feelings too, but I would never said that I wish I was the only child.
My husband HATES sharing food!
He is also very good at keeping himself entertained and busy- this was very evident during Covid when I was soooo bored and lost because all my previous hobbies and pastimes were outside the home and/or social activities, however, he just kept going and picked up so many new little hobbies that were independent
I love sharing food. I enjoy eating alone, but there's always enough to give to someone else. I love to spend all day in the kitchen cooking for a giant party. People come in and spend a few minutes with me then move on. In the end I've had my pseudo-solitary culinary experience while beneath the guise of being social. Then everyone gets to eat while I watch them enjoy. So satisfying!
For me, it's when someone has no idea what non-food items taste like (dog treats, shaving cream, etc.)
Ah, but that one time I really wanted to know why dogs like their biscuits and why some people ate cat food. Not really that disgusting. Not really a go-to snack.
I hate being an only child as an adult. I don't really care that I was a main focus when I was a kid. If I don't have a partner I'm basically f****d emotionally and have no support when my parents inevitably become ill.
I heard once that only children are less likely to announce where they are going when they leave a room. Right away, I realized I'm like that, but my partner, who grew up with two sisters, tells me where he's about to go when he moves, even if it's to the bathroom.
From personal experience, food habits. Like buying snacks to store at home and fully expecting them to not have been touched when you’re gone, or eating slower at the dinner table because you’re not fighting over the good food.
As a teen, on the rare occasion my dad would steal a snack I got for myself I’d freak out, whereas my friends with siblings just resigned themselves to the fate of snacks inevitably disappearing. My mom eats super fast at meals, and she attributes it largely to growing up with siblings.
My sister and I would lick our favourite items of food on our plates, so the other couldn't steal it. Even today we say "I've licked that" to signify something is ours. although now we are only joking, back then it was deeply serious method of germ warfare against each other.
No tales of sibling violence
Ha, I can relate to this one! When fighting with my brother, things could escalate quickly. We‘d use whatever was laying around to beat each other up. 😂 So my parents made sure to always put the garden equipment (I.e. shovels, brooms) away in the garden shack. Playing knights could quickly turn into a more violent game and a true fight. (Mind you, that was growing up in the early 80ies) On the other hand, whenever we‘d get scolded we would stick together and stand up for each other. I miss my Brother. ❤️
They are very deliberate in their chosen relationships, e.g. friendships, partners, and are usually extremely independent, at least in my experience.
They’re very quiet roommates in my experience. Sometimes don’t even know when they’re home. I hypothesize that they’re just used to quiet spaces and might feel uncomfortable when their surroundings get loud or chaotic. People with siblings are used to other people clanging around and making noise.
They need more alone time and aren’t scared of being home by themselves.
When they’re planning to go somewhere or do something, they don’t tell anyone or announce it. They just go do it.
As adults, they tend to live alone rather than with roommates, if circumstances allow it.
If their parents are either super young or super old compared to their peers’ parents, it’s more likely they’re the only kid.
I’m an only child. I hate sharing. If you wanted some cake, order yours do not eat my cake. Yes, I’m spoiled so what? I will not borrow your things if I can just buy my own. I don’t understand other people (who has siblings) who will ask to borrow and not return my things. It’s called stealing.
The two times I let people borrow things I didn't get them back, so yeah borrowing is a no.
They feel the weight of both their parents' hopes and dreams as well as their needs. If you're an only child who grew up in a loving home, chances are you also had a lot of responsibility to make something out of all the time and resources your parents put into you.
This is weirdly true, my mother who raised me alone mostly, had this idea that because I was talented in various areas that I would some how become a millionaire and save her. She never forgave me for being a regular person.
Always weirds me out when people have games, consoles, collectibles, etc from their childhood. All of my stuff was either handed down to, broken, or lost by siblings.
There's still an ongoing, if good-natured, feud between two of my sons (38 and 33) about which one of them is the legitimate owner of one particular console...
I’m an only child, my husband is the oldest of 3.
For myself I can say that I have a hard time asking for help and try to be as independent as possible which doesn’t always work to my advantage.
I definitely was around more adults than kids growing up which meant my children were literally the first babies I had ever been around.
For some reason all of my friends (and husband included) eat way faster than me and they like to point that out.
I thrive in my alone time and need a lot of it to “recharge”. But I also hate that I constantly feel lonely even in large groups of people and have never been able to shake that feeling.
I have horrible anxiety about meeting new people, I’ll do it but I’ll almost make myself sick leading up to it because my anxiety gets to out of control.
Being a people pleaser is definitely up there and wanting to feel included.
I have a sibling yet I do a lot of this stuff (excluding having babies of course)
My bf is an only child and it was his confusion at how I can be mad at my sister (who is also my roommate) one minute and turn around and get ice cream or go see a movie together.
He grew up with a bunch of cousins around his age, but it was the quick turnaround of “I’m so mad at you” to “I wanna hang out, let’s do something.”
A really strong bond with their parents.
I have a brother, but only dated only child women troughout my life, and i noticed that they're tend to be way more "friends" with their parents than siblings does.
It's like my brother were always my partne during childhood/adolescence and to my ex gf, it was her dad or mom.
As an only child I’ve been yelled at by multiple friends for wandering off alone, especially in grocery stores, without telling anyone where I’m going. And also my automatic “backseat of a car” position is legs out across the seats. Idk tho those are the only differences I ever notice
Very specific and got me thinking. This is probably also why I never found anything alluring about taking a class skiing trips, being surrounded by jerks who would make the whole trip Hell for me, while having to buddy up with someone and deal with that power struggle, and conform to strict curfews and limitations on privacy. No thank you.
Really unique relationships with parents. They usually have a very rigid idea and perception their parents. For example, I have to call my mom every day or else she’ll worry, or my dad is always right about _____. I guess when you have siblings there’s more diversity in how you perceive your parents and their actions. But with only children they seem to lack that holistic perspective.
If he keeps getting calls asking him about his whereabouts when he is out
That's an introvert vs extrovert list. This has nothing to do with siblings or not.
I am naturally an extrovert. If it wasn't due to me being an only child I would never have NY introverted habits
Load More Replies...
Most of these examples are silly, I'm one of 3 sisters and nearly all of these I can relate to.
Me too..and one of 3 sisters. I always want my privacy, love being alone, have lots of treasures saved from childhood
Load More Replies...
I think most of this is down to personalety…as a sibling of 3 I recongnize a lot of this..I know a lot of only children and non of them are alike.. the independence maybe and the wanting siblings but many of them are very good at keeping their friends close…
Yes. An only child here. We're usually not good at sharing, independent, & very private. Bearing the family burden alone, especially as our parents get older or sick is exhausting. You can't fail, you have to take care of everything, etc. But despite all of these, we always get sh*t done. Don't ask how
Funnily enough, in most families where there is more than one child, there is usually one that gets s**t done. It might be the eldest in a lot of instances.
Load More Replies...
They get lots of money from older relatives on holidays and birthdays! And they can have a harder time figuring out how to get along in a group of peers. One-on-one friendships come easier. My spouse also has a hard time being casually touched in a playful way - he never had that experience as a child. And he often doesn’t understand when people are just ribbing him or play-fighting. He takes it more seriously than people with sibs who grew up with that kind of playful interaction.
Ha! Or you don’t get jack shït from older relatives because your family culture is deeply disinterested in catering to the one person under the age of 40 in the room. Ask me how I know LOL. Agreed on the lower tolerance for play fighting/ shït-talking though, especially when playing video games. I don’t understand why people find it fun to be jerks 🤷
Load More Replies...
Arthur: "Sorry, Sue Ellen, it's a brother and sister race." DW: "Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this." Arthur: "It's 'only children', DW. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you."
People are more complex than pop-psych theories like "only child syndrome" suggest. Most of the items on this list are determined by personality and parenting, not birth order or # of siblings. Personality can be affected by siblings (or lack) but genetics is probably the biggest single factor. Parenting styles are also all over the place.
As a only child i can barely relate to any of them, a few. Think this just about personality.
I am a middle child who was raised as an only child or even oldest child by my Nany. When she got dementia, I basically raised my little brother. Also AuDHD feeling like a lot of these examples are relatable.
My little brother was born when I was 15. I don't really know where I fall in this. I kinda feel like an only child and I kinda don't.
As a kid, I had a hard time getting along with friends because my stuff was my stuff and I was always afraid if I lent it out, it wouldn't be returned. XD I'm okay with sharing my food, but I want at least the first bite before I share. XD i definitely have a hard time asking for help, and I'm very independent. I tell people where I'm going though, but I chalk that up to living in a s****y area as a kid with frequent gun shots. 😬
As a teacher for 15 years at secondary level, I can say most of the only chiren I've taught are woefully codependent. Mummy and daddy fix everything for them so an only child never needed to be self reliant. Every kid I've taught with siblings are the independent ones - they want to go their own way, they want to be alone, they want to break out and do something different. Coz most of the time, mummy and daddy don't have time for all of them, so they need to learn to be self reliant real fast or be very sad.
This is an incredibly miscategorized list. I relate to majority of these and have an older brother. A lot of these things depend on individual temperament, personality, how they were raised by their parents, biology, intelligence, and so on. Almost none of this has anything to do with if people have siblings or not.
Most of these have nothing to do with whether or not you have siblings it's just about your personality
After reading all these, it has suddenly occurred to me that I don't think I've ever been friends with someone who was an only child! I grew up with siblings AND step-sibs; raised my kids and step-kids...I'm sure I've known people that are only children, but never been close friends with someone that can't identify with sibling issues! On the flip-side, though, I do LOVE my alone time and am very independent. I attribute that to 'in spite of' or 'because of' siblings!
What is missing is the sad fact that, as an only child, when your parents pass away, you have absolutely nobody else with whom to share memories of the house and time you grew up in. "Do you remember that time that?" from when you were 12 and at home. My kids is an only child, but luckily, she has a friend with whom she is extremely close. They both grew up in each other's home, and her friend is like like our kid and the same between my kid and her parents. It started when they were in kindergarten, so they have very few memories of life before they knew each other.
I'm an only, my husband one of 7. I am frequently aghast at the way they will sometimes speak to or treat each other, and still claim to love each other - I mean big stuff like embezzling, disowning but calling for birthdays, etc. Growing up I placed a high value on what it meant to be a brother or sister, but his family has really degraded my sense of "siblinghood".
I'm an only child and actually relate to a lot of these. But I'm also an introvert - some of these might have more to do with introversion
I have 1 older and 2 younger siblings, can relate to all of these. So am i an (Unknown) only child or the black sheep that has a different mindset regarding many things???
That's an introvert vs extrovert list. This has nothing to do with siblings or not.
I am naturally an extrovert. If it wasn't due to me being an only child I would never have NY introverted habits
Load More Replies... Most of these examples are silly, I'm one of 3 sisters and nearly all of these I can relate to.
Me too..and one of 3 sisters. I always want my privacy, love being alone, have lots of treasures saved from childhood
Load More Replies... I think most of this is down to personalety…as a sibling of 3 I recongnize a lot of this..I know a lot of only children and non of them are alike.. the independence maybe and the wanting siblings but many of them are very good at keeping their friends close…
Yes. An only child here. We're usually not good at sharing, independent, & very private. Bearing the family burden alone, especially as our parents get older or sick is exhausting. You can't fail, you have to take care of everything, etc. But despite all of these, we always get sh*t done. Don't ask how
Funnily enough, in most families where there is more than one child, there is usually one that gets s**t done. It might be the eldest in a lot of instances.
Load More Replies... They get lots of money from older relatives on holidays and birthdays! And they can have a harder time figuring out how to get along in a group of peers. One-on-one friendships come easier. My spouse also has a hard time being casually touched in a playful way - he never had that experience as a child. And he often doesn’t understand when people are just ribbing him or play-fighting. He takes it more seriously than people with sibs who grew up with that kind of playful interaction.
Ha! Or you don’t get jack shït from older relatives because your family culture is deeply disinterested in catering to the one person under the age of 40 in the room. Ask me how I know LOL. Agreed on the lower tolerance for play fighting/ shït-talking though, especially when playing video games. I don’t understand why people find it fun to be jerks 🤷
Load More Replies... Arthur: "Sorry, Sue Ellen, it's a brother and sister race." DW: "Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this." Arthur: "It's 'only children', DW. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you."
People are more complex than pop-psych theories like "only child syndrome" suggest. Most of the items on this list are determined by personality and parenting, not birth order or # of siblings. Personality can be affected by siblings (or lack) but genetics is probably the biggest single factor. Parenting styles are also all over the place.
As a only child i can barely relate to any of them, a few. Think this just about personality.
I am a middle child who was raised as an only child or even oldest child by my Nany. When she got dementia, I basically raised my little brother. Also AuDHD feeling like a lot of these examples are relatable.
My little brother was born when I was 15. I don't really know where I fall in this. I kinda feel like an only child and I kinda don't.
As a kid, I had a hard time getting along with friends because my stuff was my stuff and I was always afraid if I lent it out, it wouldn't be returned. XD I'm okay with sharing my food, but I want at least the first bite before I share. XD i definitely have a hard time asking for help, and I'm very independent. I tell people where I'm going though, but I chalk that up to living in a s****y area as a kid with frequent gun shots. 😬
As a teacher for 15 years at secondary level, I can say most of the only chiren I've taught are woefully codependent. Mummy and daddy fix everything for them so an only child never needed to be self reliant. Every kid I've taught with siblings are the independent ones - they want to go their own way, they want to be alone, they want to break out and do something different. Coz most of the time, mummy and daddy don't have time for all of them, so they need to learn to be self reliant real fast or be very sad.
This is an incredibly miscategorized list. I relate to majority of these and have an older brother. A lot of these things depend on individual temperament, personality, how they were raised by their parents, biology, intelligence, and so on. Almost none of this has anything to do with if people have siblings or not.
Most of these have nothing to do with whether or not you have siblings it's just about your personality
After reading all these, it has suddenly occurred to me that I don't think I've ever been friends with someone who was an only child! I grew up with siblings AND step-sibs; raised my kids and step-kids...I'm sure I've known people that are only children, but never been close friends with someone that can't identify with sibling issues! On the flip-side, though, I do LOVE my alone time and am very independent. I attribute that to 'in spite of' or 'because of' siblings!
What is missing is the sad fact that, as an only child, when your parents pass away, you have absolutely nobody else with whom to share memories of the house and time you grew up in. "Do you remember that time that?" from when you were 12 and at home. My kids is an only child, but luckily, she has a friend with whom she is extremely close. They both grew up in each other's home, and her friend is like like our kid and the same between my kid and her parents. It started when they were in kindergarten, so they have very few memories of life before they knew each other.
I'm an only, my husband one of 7. I am frequently aghast at the way they will sometimes speak to or treat each other, and still claim to love each other - I mean big stuff like embezzling, disowning but calling for birthdays, etc. Growing up I placed a high value on what it meant to be a brother or sister, but his family has really degraded my sense of "siblinghood".
I'm an only child and actually relate to a lot of these. But I'm also an introvert - some of these might have more to do with introversion
I have 1 older and 2 younger siblings, can relate to all of these. So am i an (Unknown) only child or the black sheep that has a different mindset regarding many things???
