Imagine waking up on Christmas morning and not having any siblings to share in your excitement for the day. Imagine not having to “rock paper scissors” for the last slice of pizza. Imagine getting up to go to the bathroom and returning to find your favorite seat still open and waiting for you. Imagine never having to compromise on what you want for dinner.
Ah, the elusive life of an only child. Of course, 20% of people in the world know exactly what it’s like to grow up without siblings. But for those of us who grew up wearing hand-me-downs and squeezing into the dreaded middle car seat, there are some dead giveaways that someone else was an only child. Reddit users have recently been discussing these traits, so you’ll find some of their most spot on responses below, as well as some thoughts from only children on what makes them unique!
This post may include affiliate links.
I told my bf to close his eyes and open his mouth(I was surprising him with candy), and he just did it with no suspicion at all.
People with siblings can’t trust like that.
I can't tell for adults, but when it's one of my kids' friends, the kid who ends up trying to hang out with the adults and gets overwhelmed by being in a group of kids has been an only child 100% of the time in my experience.
Never thought of it that way, but it has been true for me. I just thought I got along better with older people.
that's also every eldest daughter i've met (me included). when you're responsible for all the little ones, it never feels like big groups of friends that young aren't a little overwhelming
I'm the oldest kid and I was also like this. Part of it was that my mom had me a little younger than most of her friends so when my parents would bring us to their friends' houses all the children were 3-5 years younger at least.
Load More Replies...
Yep. I always couldn't wait to be an adult as a kid and wanted to be treated as one.
I was like that but definitely not an only child. And not on the spectrum either. I just found ppl my own age overwhelming and dramatic. Older ppl had far more interesting conversations.
I have a younger brother, and you just described me. However, I am autistic, so that may be part of it.
My friend who's the only "only child" I know always had to have the last word in any argument. She didn't have the skills of compromising that every sibling has to develop in order to preserve peace. Funny enough as an adult she has just one kid of her own, and doesn't plan to have another. :)
Okay but that's me and I have a little brother, I'm just ADD.
This was 100% me. In Kindergarten I got made fun of for... not exactly talking LIKE an adult but... didn't sound "normal" either and boy did the other kids zero in on it. Didn't help that, yup, I preferred talking to my teachers instead of other kids.
That was me as a kid. I have 2 older sisters. The issue was that they're a bit older than me, there were no other kids in the extended family, and I spent most of my time with my grandma. So I had great social skills with older people, but terrible with people my age.
As growing up as an only child, I got along with all ages. It was easier to get along better with older people.
I'm not an only child but I was the one always preferring the company of adults. To this day I can't handle being around crowds of people my age, and I'm almost 30!
Or they're a kid. I can promise you I'm not an only child and the adults was usually who I hung out with
This is *spot on*. Never thought about it until I read that. As a kid I had the hardest time hanging out with the kids in the family... I was always with the adults.
As a kid I would hang out with parents because it was the safest thing for me to do. I had sisters.
😂😂😂😂 yes and no. I was this kid but have an older sister. Younger and those my same age at the time kids have annoyed me since I was a child and I preferred being around adults
My first kid was like that before she had siblings old enough to engage with her. She still prefers adults for conversations and kids for play.
I was a month away from turning 6 when my brother was born. I also had a lot of medical issues when young (still do, alas), so I spent a lot of time in hospitals, surrounded by adults. When I was younger I definitely preferred the company of adults, because it was familiar to me, and, in the context of my medical issues, the adults never talked down to me "because I wouldn't understand." They always explained things in an age-appropriate way.
My son was this way. When we vacationed each year with his cousins he would always slip away down a ways on the beach to play alone.
Not true for my child at all… sorry to say… she’s very Independent and social🙂 I think it’s a matter of personality…
From my own experience, not being as prone to loneliness. The only time I really feel lonely is when I'm around people I'd rather not be with.
Exactly. The thought of being lonely with yourself is not a known feeling.
Thinking friendship is like having siblings. Its not. I would never smash a toy on my friend's head and expect them to speak to me after.
Pretty good at keeping ourselves entertained or doing things alone/being independent.
I'm exactly like this - middle child of 3 girls. Sometimes people just enjoy their own company.
Only child here. As a kid, I couldn’t relate to other children. Their behavior was completely foreign to me. Even now that I’m old, most people seem odd.
I tended to find other kids immature, because I was more used to adult company.
They can get s**t done without asking for help. Example- I’ve had people calling me to assist them in making the bed because they needed somebody to hold the other corner of the sheet?? Dude, this is not a 2 people job! I was doing something else and you require assistance with a piece of cotton?
Same goes for putting together furniture. ‘Takes 2 people to assemble’ . Sure. It takes 2 people to assemble unless they are an only child, then it just takes the one.
On a more positive note… from personal experience, being secure with doing things alone
I am an only child… I’ve noticed I tend to make a lot of life choices on my own and don’t seek out a lot of advice or ask for help when I could definitely use it. In fact, I’ve been pretty deep in tough situations when I finally have the realization that there are people and resources I can utilize. It’s not so much I’m worried about asking for help, more like it doesn’t even register in my brain that there is help outside of myself.
When they get [mad] that things aren't done the way they think it should be done because they've never had to compromise with anyone before.
This I don't relate to. It was always my mom's way or the highway. She still tries to get a leverage over me. Crazy thing is she's not an only child.
I’m an only child. One huge difference I see time and time again with those who have siblings—they had much more exposure to a longer timespan of media/music/games growing up. My idea of nostalgia consists of my specific timeline of media growing up, but those with siblings were able to watch tv shows their older brother watched, or knows about that game their little sister played.
True never would have listened to punk rock or heavy metal without a brother. Probably never would have read Steven King without a sister.
Wishing they had siblings.
Someone with siblings probably wishes they were an only child.
My husband HATES sharing food!
He is also very good at keeping himself entertained and busy- this was very evident during Covid when I was soooo bored and lost because all my previous hobbies and pastimes were outside the home and/or social activities, however, he just kept going and picked up so many new little hobbies that were independent
I love sharing food. I enjoy eating alone, but there's always enough to give to someone else. I love to spend all day in the kitchen cooking for a giant party. People come in and spend a few minutes with me then move on. In the end I've had my pseudo-solitary culinary experience while beneath the guise of being social. Then everyone gets to eat while I watch them enjoy. So satisfying!
For me, it's when someone has no idea what non-food items taste like (dog treats, shaving cream, etc.)
Ah, but that one time I really wanted to know why dogs like their biscuits and why some people ate cat food. Not really that disgusting. Not really a go-to snack.
I hate being an only child as an adult. I don't really care that I was a main focus when I was a kid. If I don't have a partner I'm basically f****d emotionally and have no support when my parents inevitably become ill.
I heard once that only children are less likely to announce where they are going when they leave a room. Right away, I realized I'm like that, but my partner, who grew up with two sisters, tells me where he's about to go when he moves, even if it's to the bathroom.
From personal experience, food habits. Like buying snacks to store at home and fully expecting them to not have been touched when you’re gone, or eating slower at the dinner table because you’re not fighting over the good food.
As a teen, on the rare occasion my dad would steal a snack I got for myself I’d freak out, whereas my friends with siblings just resigned themselves to the fate of snacks inevitably disappearing. My mom eats super fast at meals, and she attributes it largely to growing up with siblings.
My sister and I would lick our favourite items of food on our plates, so the other couldn't steal it. Even today we say "I've licked that" to signify something is ours. although now we are only joking, back then it was deeply serious method of germ warfare against each other.
No tales of sibling violence
Ha, I can relate to this one! When fighting with my brother, things could escalate quickly. We‘d use whatever was laying around to beat each other up. 😂 So my parents made sure to always put the garden equipment (I.e. shovels, brooms) away in the garden shack. Playing knights could quickly turn into a more violent game and a true fight. (Mind you, that was growing up in the early 80ies) On the other hand, whenever we‘d get scolded we would stick together and stand up for each other. I miss my Brother. ❤️
They are very deliberate in their chosen relationships, e.g. friendships, partners, and are usually extremely independent, at least in my experience.
They’re very quiet roommates in my experience. Sometimes don’t even know when they’re home. I hypothesize that they’re just used to quiet spaces and might feel uncomfortable when their surroundings get loud or chaotic. People with siblings are used to other people clanging around and making noise.
They need more alone time and aren’t scared of being home by themselves.
When they’re planning to go somewhere or do something, they don’t tell anyone or announce it. They just go do it.
As adults, they tend to live alone rather than with roommates, if circumstances allow it.
If their parents are either super young or super old compared to their peers’ parents, it’s more likely they’re the only kid.
I’m an only child. I hate sharing. If you wanted some cake, order yours do not eat my cake. Yes, I’m spoiled so what? I will not borrow your things if I can just buy my own. I don’t understand other people (who has siblings) who will ask to borrow and not return my things. It’s called stealing.
The two times I let people borrow things I didn't get them back, so yeah borrowing is a no.
They feel the weight of both their parents' hopes and dreams as well as their needs. If you're an only child who grew up in a loving home, chances are you also had a lot of responsibility to make something out of all the time and resources your parents put into you.
This is weirdly true, my mother who raised me alone mostly, had this idea that because I was talented in various areas that I would some how become a millionaire and save her. She never forgave me for being a regular person.
Always weirds me out when people have games, consoles, collectibles, etc from their childhood. All of my stuff was either handed down to, broken, or lost by siblings.
There's still an ongoing, if good-natured, feud between two of my sons (38 and 33) about which one of them is the legitimate owner of one particular console...
I’m an only child, my husband is the oldest of 3.
For myself I can say that I have a hard time asking for help and try to be as independent as possible which doesn’t always work to my advantage.
I definitely was around more adults than kids growing up which meant my children were literally the first babies I had ever been around.
For some reason all of my friends (and husband included) eat way faster than me and they like to point that out.
I thrive in my alone time and need a lot of it to “recharge”. But I also hate that I constantly feel lonely even in large groups of people and have never been able to shake that feeling.
I have horrible anxiety about meeting new people, I’ll do it but I’ll almost make myself sick leading up to it because my anxiety gets to out of control.
Being a people pleaser is definitely up there and wanting to feel included.
I have a sibling yet I do a lot of this stuff (excluding having babies of course)
My bf is an only child and it was his confusion at how I can be mad at my sister (who is also my roommate) one minute and turn around and get ice cream or go see a movie together.
He grew up with a bunch of cousins around his age, but it was the quick turnaround of “I’m so mad at you” to “I wanna hang out, let’s do something.”
A really strong bond with their parents.
I have a brother, but only dated only child women troughout my life, and i noticed that they're tend to be way more "friends" with their parents than siblings does.
It's like my brother were always my partne during childhood/adolescence and to my ex gf, it was her dad or mom.
As an only child I’ve been yelled at by multiple friends for wandering off alone, especially in grocery stores, without telling anyone where I’m going. And also my automatic “backseat of a car” position is legs out across the seats. Idk tho those are the only differences I ever notice
Very specific and got me thinking. This is probably also why I never found anything alluring about taking a class skiing trips, being surrounded by jerks who would make the whole trip Hell for me, while having to buddy up with someone and deal with that power struggle, and conform to strict curfews and limitations on privacy. No thank you.
Really unique relationships with parents. They usually have a very rigid idea and perception their parents. For example, I have to call my mom every day or else she’ll worry, or my dad is always right about _____. I guess when you have siblings there’s more diversity in how you perceive your parents and their actions. But with only children they seem to lack that holistic perspective.
If he keeps getting calls asking him about his whereabouts when he is out
That's an introvert vs extrovert list. This has nothing to do with siblings or not.
I am naturally an extrovert. If it wasn't due to me being an only child I would never have NY introverted habits
Load More Replies...
Most of these examples are silly, I'm one of 3 sisters and nearly all of these I can relate to.
Me too..and one of 3 sisters. I always want my privacy, love being alone, have lots of treasures saved from childhood
Load More Replies...
I think most of this is down to personalety…as a sibling of 3 I recongnize a lot of this..I know a lot of only children and non of them are alike.. the independence maybe and the wanting siblings but many of them are very good at keeping their friends close…
Yes. An only child here. We're usually not good at sharing, independent, & very private. Bearing the family burden alone, especially as our parents get older or sick is exhausting. You can't fail, you have to take care of everything, etc. But despite all of these, we always get sh*t done. Don't ask how
Funnily enough, in most families where there is more than one child, there is usually one that gets s**t done. It might be the eldest in a lot of instances.
Load More Replies...
They get lots of money from older relatives on holidays and birthdays! And they can have a harder time figuring out how to get along in a group of peers. One-on-one friendships come easier. My spouse also has a hard time being casually touched in a playful way - he never had that experience as a child. And he often doesn’t understand when people are just ribbing him or play-fighting. He takes it more seriously than people with sibs who grew up with that kind of playful interaction.
Ha! Or you don’t get jack shït from older relatives because your family culture is deeply disinterested in catering to the one person under the age of 40 in the room. Ask me how I know LOL. Agreed on the lower tolerance for play fighting/ shït-talking though, especially when playing video games. I don’t understand why people find it fun to be jerks 🤷
Load More Replies...
Arthur: "Sorry, Sue Ellen, it's a brother and sister race." DW: "Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this." Arthur: "It's 'only children', DW. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you."
People are more complex than pop-psych theories like "only child syndrome" suggest. Most of the items on this list are determined by personality and parenting, not birth order or # of siblings. Personality can be affected by siblings (or lack) but genetics is probably the biggest single factor. Parenting styles are also all over the place.
I am a middle child who was raised as an only child or even oldest child by my Nany. When she got dementia, I basically raised my little brother. Also AuDHD feeling like a lot of these examples are relatable.
My little brother was born when I was 15. I don't really know where I fall in this. I kinda feel like an only child and I kinda don't.
As a kid, I had a hard time getting along with friends because my stuff was my stuff and I was always afraid if I lent it out, it wouldn't be returned. XD I'm okay with sharing my food, but I want at least the first bite before I share. XD i definitely have a hard time asking for help, and I'm very independent. I tell people where I'm going though, but I chalk that up to living in a s****y area as a kid with frequent gun shots. 😬
As a teacher for 15 years at secondary level, I can say most of the only chiren I've taught are woefully codependent. Mummy and daddy fix everything for them so an only child never needed to be self reliant. Every kid I've taught with siblings are the independent ones - they want to go their own way, they want to be alone, they want to break out and do something different. Coz most of the time, mummy and daddy don't have time for all of them, so they need to learn to be self reliant real fast or be very sad.
This is an incredibly miscategorized list. I relate to majority of these and have an older brother. A lot of these things depend on individual temperament, personality, how they were raised by their parents, biology, intelligence, and so on. Almost none of this has anything to do with if people have siblings or not.
Most of these have nothing to do with whether or not you have siblings it's just about your personality
After reading all these, it has suddenly occurred to me that I don't think I've ever been friends with someone who was an only child! I grew up with siblings AND step-sibs; raised my kids and step-kids...I'm sure I've known people that are only children, but never been close friends with someone that can't identify with sibling issues! On the flip-side, though, I do LOVE my alone time and am very independent. I attribute that to 'in spite of' or 'because of' siblings!
What is missing is the sad fact that, as an only child, when your parents pass away, you have absolutely nobody else with whom to share memories of the house and time you grew up in. "Do you remember that time that?" from when you were 12 and at home. My kids is an only child, but luckily, she has a friend with whom she is extremely close. They both grew up in each other's home, and her friend is like like our kid and the same between my kid and her parents. It started when they were in kindergarten, so they have very few memories of life before they knew each other.
I'm an only, my husband one of 7. I am frequently aghast at the way they will sometimes speak to or treat each other, and still claim to love each other - I mean big stuff like embezzling, disowning but calling for birthdays, etc. Growing up I placed a high value on what it meant to be a brother or sister, but his family has really degraded my sense of "siblinghood".
I'm an only child and actually relate to a lot of these. But I'm also an introvert - some of these might have more to do with introversion
I have 1 older and 2 younger siblings, can relate to all of these. So am i an (Unknown) only child or the black sheep that has a different mindset regarding many things???
That's an introvert vs extrovert list. This has nothing to do with siblings or not.
I am naturally an extrovert. If it wasn't due to me being an only child I would never have NY introverted habits
Load More Replies... Most of these examples are silly, I'm one of 3 sisters and nearly all of these I can relate to.
Me too..and one of 3 sisters. I always want my privacy, love being alone, have lots of treasures saved from childhood
Load More Replies... I think most of this is down to personalety…as a sibling of 3 I recongnize a lot of this..I know a lot of only children and non of them are alike.. the independence maybe and the wanting siblings but many of them are very good at keeping their friends close…
Yes. An only child here. We're usually not good at sharing, independent, & very private. Bearing the family burden alone, especially as our parents get older or sick is exhausting. You can't fail, you have to take care of everything, etc. But despite all of these, we always get sh*t done. Don't ask how
Funnily enough, in most families where there is more than one child, there is usually one that gets s**t done. It might be the eldest in a lot of instances.
Load More Replies... They get lots of money from older relatives on holidays and birthdays! And they can have a harder time figuring out how to get along in a group of peers. One-on-one friendships come easier. My spouse also has a hard time being casually touched in a playful way - he never had that experience as a child. And he often doesn’t understand when people are just ribbing him or play-fighting. He takes it more seriously than people with sibs who grew up with that kind of playful interaction.
Ha! Or you don’t get jack shït from older relatives because your family culture is deeply disinterested in catering to the one person under the age of 40 in the room. Ask me how I know LOL. Agreed on the lower tolerance for play fighting/ shït-talking though, especially when playing video games. I don’t understand why people find it fun to be jerks 🤷
Load More Replies... Arthur: "Sorry, Sue Ellen, it's a brother and sister race." DW: "Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this." Arthur: "It's 'only children', DW. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you."
People are more complex than pop-psych theories like "only child syndrome" suggest. Most of the items on this list are determined by personality and parenting, not birth order or # of siblings. Personality can be affected by siblings (or lack) but genetics is probably the biggest single factor. Parenting styles are also all over the place.
I am a middle child who was raised as an only child or even oldest child by my Nany. When she got dementia, I basically raised my little brother. Also AuDHD feeling like a lot of these examples are relatable.
My little brother was born when I was 15. I don't really know where I fall in this. I kinda feel like an only child and I kinda don't.
As a kid, I had a hard time getting along with friends because my stuff was my stuff and I was always afraid if I lent it out, it wouldn't be returned. XD I'm okay with sharing my food, but I want at least the first bite before I share. XD i definitely have a hard time asking for help, and I'm very independent. I tell people where I'm going though, but I chalk that up to living in a s****y area as a kid with frequent gun shots. 😬
As a teacher for 15 years at secondary level, I can say most of the only chiren I've taught are woefully codependent. Mummy and daddy fix everything for them so an only child never needed to be self reliant. Every kid I've taught with siblings are the independent ones - they want to go their own way, they want to be alone, they want to break out and do something different. Coz most of the time, mummy and daddy don't have time for all of them, so they need to learn to be self reliant real fast or be very sad.
This is an incredibly miscategorized list. I relate to majority of these and have an older brother. A lot of these things depend on individual temperament, personality, how they were raised by their parents, biology, intelligence, and so on. Almost none of this has anything to do with if people have siblings or not.
Most of these have nothing to do with whether or not you have siblings it's just about your personality
After reading all these, it has suddenly occurred to me that I don't think I've ever been friends with someone who was an only child! I grew up with siblings AND step-sibs; raised my kids and step-kids...I'm sure I've known people that are only children, but never been close friends with someone that can't identify with sibling issues! On the flip-side, though, I do LOVE my alone time and am very independent. I attribute that to 'in spite of' or 'because of' siblings!
What is missing is the sad fact that, as an only child, when your parents pass away, you have absolutely nobody else with whom to share memories of the house and time you grew up in. "Do you remember that time that?" from when you were 12 and at home. My kids is an only child, but luckily, she has a friend with whom she is extremely close. They both grew up in each other's home, and her friend is like like our kid and the same between my kid and her parents. It started when they were in kindergarten, so they have very few memories of life before they knew each other.
I'm an only, my husband one of 7. I am frequently aghast at the way they will sometimes speak to or treat each other, and still claim to love each other - I mean big stuff like embezzling, disowning but calling for birthdays, etc. Growing up I placed a high value on what it meant to be a brother or sister, but his family has really degraded my sense of "siblinghood".
I'm an only child and actually relate to a lot of these. But I'm also an introvert - some of these might have more to do with introversion
I have 1 older and 2 younger siblings, can relate to all of these. So am i an (Unknown) only child or the black sheep that has a different mindset regarding many things???
