“This Would Ruin Her”: Men Confess The Deepest Secrets They Are Keeping From Their Partners
However honest a life you might think you live, secrets are still an inseparable part of many relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic. We all lie or withhold the truth about things to a certain extent—whether we mean to or not.
Reddit user u/socialunsocial sparked a spicy discussion after asking men to open up about the secrets that they’ve been withholding from their partners. We’ve collected some of the most impactful secrets, both wholesome and uncomfortable, to share with you. Scroll down to check them out.
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My wife doesn't know that I record her when she cooks. She LOVES to cook. She does a little dance and hums to herself. She's beautiful. Sometimes, when she is having a bad day, I pretend to feel ill and ask for her to make me pumpkin soup, and she lights up. She'll whip up some soup and her mood improves. I've saved the videos and I hope to watch them together when we're old.
Some comments on here are miserable as hell.She loves to cook for him and he loves her enthusiasm.People need therapy who see this as creepy
Excellent idea... My boyfriend humms and sings when he eats. He looooves food and it is so funny. I will film him. I love this thing about him ❤️
My partner doesn’t know I reanimated him using lightning and he really isn’t alive.
I'm an atheist, but I'm still gonna pray to god for a man like this to show up in my life.
My girlfriend chews her food noisily. She used to have an eating disorder, and so I refuse to ever let her know so she can keep on eating tasty food with me without overthinking it.
You're just watching out for her. I respect that you want You're partner to live a happy life with out worrying about the little things and I love it!
I get really annoyed by the sound of loud chewing, it is my personal hell. I can't control it, makes my blood boil. I just get away from people eating, or if we're eating together, I time my chews so I can't hear other people's. Luckily not that many chew loudly, but the ones that do doesn't seem to realize it.
Hmmm, what about when you eat together with others? She might be judged.
After having lots of alcohol together, I mentioned something to my (then future) wife like: I wonder what our future together would be like. Do you think we would ever get married?
The alcohol translated this in her head as: do you want to marry me?
The passion in her ‘YES I DO’ was so cute. It brought tears in my eyes. I knew she liked me, but at that moment she showed she wanted to spend her life with me.
We’re close to 15 years married now, very happy. She is my best friend.
I assume he didn't, and the big secret he's keeping from her is that he never really proposed, but she thought he did, so he went with it.
Load More Replies...My rather new boyfriend and I were traveling through Italy , early 1980's. We camped at a camp site right outside Venice and walked into the city. A huge , monstrous thunderstorm started suddenly and when we walked back to the camp site, we found it flooded, toilets backing up and not usable, etc- the only thing to do was drinking at the cafeteria . My BF got drunk on his butt and while a HUGE group of drunk Aussies was belting out "Walzing Mathilda" , the rain was pouring, our tent was flooded and we could not drive out- he asked me to marry him. Because he was drunk I gave the option to recant the next day but he never did. We have been married for 40 years.
I never understood the don't date friends concept. I suppose it's to not lose friends. Funny. Agree with you; going on 20 years with her.
Load More Replies...Oh my god that's so sweet! I pray for everyone in a an unhealthy or unhappy relationship that someday you will find something like this.
once when we were in town, there was a wedding fair in the town hall. he actually suggested we go and look around it. because "we're getting married one day, right?" that wasn't a proposal, but it made it clear that's where he saw our relationship headed at that point.
Mine does similar stuff. Plans trips overseas and honeymoons and so on. BUT when she's sober she scoffs at that idea. Which is fine by me. did it once and it was a terrible idea.
According to research, keeping secrets, whether from outsiders or close family members, is an overwhelmingly common practice.
A good rule of thumb when it comes to secrets is to think about whether or not they directly impact your partner. If it’s something that deeply affects their life, you owe it to them to tell them whatever happened. However, if the secret is something negligible or even wholesome, then you have the choice to keep it to yourself. There’s also a difference between secrecy and privacy. There’s nothing to feel guilty about if you want to keep certain things private, even from your spouse.
I don't give a sh*t about 90% of the TV series 'we' like to watch together. I go along with it because I like her getting into the shows and talking to me about it and having a distraction from the daily stresses.
Sometimes I forget men like this exist. I have been surrounded by bad role model men in my life (I'm a female) including my own father. This makes me feel hope that maybe I'll find a love better than my parents.
DO NOT SETTLE. Saying that - remember, no one is perfect. You need to find someone who's "quirks" don't drive you crazy. Advice from an older woman who was married for over 40 years.
Load More Replies...I do this as a woman. I'm not into Marvel superhero movies but I wanted to share the experience with my husband because he likes the genre. At times it was quite a torture for me. Strange things will be done in the name of love. Most of the time he falls asleep in the middle of a movie that I would like to watch together, but at least he tries.
My husband says the same thing. On one of our first dates, we were walking in the woods when he asked me to explain the timeline of Friday the 13th to him. Later on he said he just liked hearing my voice, talking about something I got excited about.
My partner (who also reads BP, hi Sam 😘) has a wonderful addiction to what we call ‘chewing gum TV’ it doesn’t give you anything of substance but it’s easy for your brain to deal with, I love watching her watch Married at First Sight, it’s appalling TV but it creates the weirdest and funniest responses. The whole concept is car crash tv, the actual people make it even more of a car crash and the end results are predictably car crash too. It’s awful in an amazing way and Sam loves it and I love her too.
I call it brain candy. Same with "summer fiction." Sometimes your brain needs a break.
Load More Replies...Thats me. My husband gets his way with tv when he is home... cause i have it 4 nights a week for My self!
I absolutely love Star Wars but my hubs was the one to suggest we watch Obi-Wan and Ahsoka together. We did and he enjoyed them as much as I did. He ended up getting into the other shows as well.
You're a better man than I am, mine wants to watch romcoms and sitcoms all the time and I hate them.
my husband must be SO sick of Good Omens. but often he gets up to me rewatching it, and doesn't complain about me finishing the entire series. and he buys me presents related to it. some of which show he has actually taken some of it in (eg. there's a vinyl record that features in series 2 he got me for Christmas)
You too eh. Xmas c**p? , nextflix shows have a specific type. Poor acting, worse script and padded out to make it X episodes.
She snores like a pack of horny, angry bears having some sort of MMA orgy on the back of a semi truck that is trying to downshift too soon. I tease her about that, of course, because I love her. The part I don't tell her is that...that sh*t is my white noise at night. When she is gone for some reason and I have to sleep alone, I just can't sleep as well.
I'm impressed that he knows what "a pack of horny, angry bears having some sort of MMA orgy" actually sounds like. A man of the world, this OP.
My partner (60m) and I (45m) have been together for 14 years. In 2019 we got a sleep divorce and it saved our relationship. He has sleep apnea and doesn't use his cpap every night and honestly, I just can't.
What's a sleep divorce? Sleeping in different rooms? No judgement there, I would have done that with my ex cause of her sheet hoarding 😁but didn't have a spare room
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I love hot, spicy food. She used to have almost no tolerance for chili and had a shamefully bland diet. Over a period of several months, I cooked regularly and, starting with a teeny tiny bit of chili, slowly increased the amount in our food. One day in a Thai restaurant, she was so thoroughly enjoying a dish and offered me a bite. It was so hot it blew my head off. Was literally a victim of my own success.
I did that to myself! My partner loves spicy foods but I couldn't tolerate a bit of chili. Now I can have (and enjoy) a good vindaloo!
Same, but I am still pretty spicy intolerant. I hope someday to be able to do better.
Load More Replies...Nothing "shameful" about a bland diet. I have an intolerance for fructose, so I have to avoid spices, garlic, fruit, even broccoli. It's not because I want to, it's because I have to.
I'd be able to tell. My tongue is so sensitive to hot/spicy foods, I can't even use black pepper. And it's not like I haven't tried to adapt my sensitivity - I've tried eating slightly spiced foods (stuff most people would find bland, I'm sure). Not only does it feel like my tongue's got a hole burnt into it, but it's the same pain every time, no matter how many times in a row I torture myself.
I wish I could upvote this 10 times because I am in the same damn boat.
Load More Replies...I loved spicy food, too. I had a liver transplant in 2022 and I cannot feel the heat anymore. My doctors can't explain why. I can eat a whole habenero but it is just crunchy to me.
Holy cow I feel sorry for you! When I was in my 20's I didn't even like black pepper but I got a warning from a friend when I moved to Texas that if I didn't acclimate, I'd starve. I did, and continue to, so well that I spice up everything I eat in order to enjoy it. I hope yours returns.
Load More Replies...My daughter in law grew up eating the very blandest of foods. My son loves herbs and spices in his food and he does the majority of the cooking (she was never taught to cook) so she has had to adapt. She still can't eat spicy spicy, but flour is no longer too spicy for her.
I used to enjoy spicy (mild, not blow my head off spicy) but now I have 5 stomach ulcers so no spice at all for me now
My grandma cannot take any spice. We joke that ketchup is too hot for her. She loves food, and is willing to try a lot of stuff, but what I would consider slightly peppery is flaming to her. What’s strange is that she’s one of the best chefs I know, despite her intolerance to spice. You’d expect everything to be bland, but it never is.
The older I get the more sensitive I become to spicy or hot foods. Add in GERD and it's a recipe for disaster when it comes to me trying different foods. My tongue and gums feel like they're on fire and all throughout and post chemotherapy it just exacerbated my sensitivity. I've tried to train myself but even to much black pepper, especially coarse ground, will have me guzzling water like I've been stuck in a desert for weeks.
Unless you’re a longtime practitioner of radical honesty and your social circle knows what to expect, being brutally open about every single thing you think and do might not be the wisest course of action. For one, it’d be exhausting to fill your partner in on every single detail. On top of that, no matter how much we all say how we value honesty, many of us don’t do well when someone’s overly blunt in their manner.
Now, that doesn’t mean that lying is excusable. But how you phrase something is often just as—if not more—important than the message itself.
My wife misplaces things. I’m extremely organized. So if she asks me to help her find things I pretend to look for a minute with her. If I just tell where the item is, she gets very frustrated because I almost always know where things are. Also, I bought a dozen fingernail clippers and sprinkled them where she can easily find them. I’ve never told her.
Ohhhh I should do that! There is a designated place for it but my partner always leaves it somewhere else. At this point it's almost a game of hide-and-seek when we need to clip our nails 😅
I strategically placed cup hooks throughout the house for scissors because we can never find them otherwise lol
Load More Replies...For my parents it was the other way I swear my mom's got some freaky ability to find anything and everything. To the people I am so jealous.
My dad was/is the same! When we were kids, it was like magic. He’d wiggle his fingers a bit then tell us to look somewhere specific; he was almost invariably right. As I got older I was convinced for decades that he was just using logic and his knowledge of us. Nope. According to him (as I discovered a few years back) he didn’t/couldn’t know where we had dropped whatever but as soon as we asked “where’s my…?” he’d get a feeling/knowing of the location. Guess it was magic after all.
Load More Replies...You may have a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I do to and I love it. Things in their place. Cabinets closed. Pickup after. She may have GILD. Get It Later Disorder.
I keep buying my husband boxes of reading glasses for his stocking. Some get broken or really lost, but usually when he can't find any, that means it's time for me to go around to the places he takes them off and redistribute them to where he needs them.
We have 4 pairs of nail clippers. Every last one of them gets lost regularly, usually somewhere in the office.
I do that too... except it's not for your altruistic reason, I just don't want to reinforce the idea that I know where everything is (or that I have a complete mental catalogue of what food is in the kitchen and what needs to be replenished when he happens to go past a supermarket), so that he doesn't just expect me to keep track of that stuff for him all the time. I mean seriously... he'll be on holidays and call me *at work* to ask whether we need anything and what *I* am going to cook for dinner.
This reminds me of how a Chicago Cubs outfielder admitted they "cheat": Instead of a 21st, or even 20th century outfield wall with foam and plastic or leather padding, Wrigley Field has BRICK WALLS in the outfield (where players routinely jump against the wall to catch balls nearly becoming home runs). The brick is covered in thick ivy. Good luck finding a ball hit into the ivy... and it's in play! Many a batter has rounded the bases while the fielder tried to find the ball. So Cubs outfielders "stocked" the outfield ivy with plenty of baseballs hidden where they KNEW they could find them.
Back when we were dating, we went out of town with her youngest child. The older boy, 17, stayed behind because he had to work and what not. I left my car at her house along with the keys. Long story short, when we got back I noticed something 'off' about my car. I got in it and realized somebody else was there at some point. So I took a look at the dash cam footage. It's kinda hidden behind the rearview mirror. Hard to see it unless you looking for it. Her son took it for a joyride while we were gone. Nothing crazy, didn't go down the strip doing burn outs and picking up girls. Nice, leisurely drive through the neighborhood. I ended up confronting him about it man-to-man. We settled that and I agreed to never tell his mom about it. She already had a lot going on in her life being a single mom, and it wasn't like there was any harm. He was all around a good kid. I would've gave him the keys if he had just asked. He's 23 now has a lil' family of his own. She and I got married. Still haven't told her, but gonna use it one day at some family get together, lol
When he, the son, inevitably gets a newer, shinier, faster, more stylish car then it’s time for the OP and Mum to go for a gentle cruise in the son’s fancy car and tell Mum all about it 😀
I'm not sure why you were downvoted, so please take my upvote. A person's word should mean something.
Load More Replies...Good lord! It's not as if the son had killed someone, what a bagatelle.
If he didn’t have the keys, how did he take a joy-ride? Does the kid know how to hot wire a car? If so, would he teach me how?
He also left the keys. "I left my car....along with the keys"
Load More Replies...Teenagers are dumb, sure. They do irresponsible things, sure. But that doesn't mean that this dude did the wrong thing by any means. If someone borrows your book without asking, but returns it in good condition and without being dumb reckless about it, doesn't mean they're a bad person, just maybe had a lapse in judgement which happens to everyone regardless of age (and regardless of if you want to admit it)
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When she tells me I can find something else to watch on TV, I tell her I’m not even paying attention, but secretly I’m very invested in whatever terrible show she’s watching.
I'm married and these make me lonely. Consider yourselves lucky, whatever you do don't settle. Better to have 12 cats for company than one husband that if you died wouldn't notice till he ran out of clean clothes.
Load More Replies...My husband does the same thing- hell complain about shows like Greys Anatomy, but then ask questions about the plot because he's been following it the whole time
That was us last night. Was watching Poirot: The Big Four on TV. Was half way thru when the aerial decided to play up and he asked if I could pause it and he went to fix it. Honestly, I didn't even think he was watching it as he was on his phone lol.
Discussing important issues with your partner goes a lot smoother if you know how diplomatic or straightforward to be. Some folks respond better to subtlety. Others need to be told things ‘how they are’ without any sugarcoating.
Whenever you’re discussing these sensitive questions, it’s also invaluable if you practice active listening. This means not just waiting for your turn to speak, but genuinely focusing on what your partner is telling you and how they’re reacting to the info you’ve just shared.
I watch TV shows we both like without her because she likes to talk through them. Then, I watch them with her later and act like I have no idea what's going on.
I talk during shows. It's bad. I'm also super observant of what's going on, and I'll pause it and be like, "you see the camera pan to that knife? This will be relevant at some point." He hates it but he's used to it now.
I've done the same for some movies because my husband has a terribly bad concentration time, which is not his fault, but it naturally annoys me if the movie has to be stopped for breaks or it has to jump to the previous scene when he can't concentrate. The immersion is not broken for me because I have already experienced the film. Our record for movie viewing time is 8 and a half hours.
8.5 hours is a lot to ask *anyone* to sit and watch movies.
Load More Replies...I live with someone who watches shows with their mouth. The pause button keeps the peace between us. We can watch shows and discuss them too. Best of both worlds.
From time to time, I'll pay attention to the elapsed-time display on a TV show we're watching. There are many times that we watch less than 10 seconds before she pauses it again. And that doesn't count the times that she unpauses it before she's done articulating her thought and pauses it again after 1 or 2 seconds. It's like she's using it as filler to make sure that I don't get a chance to say anything.
I actually can't blame him for this lol I've known people who talk through shows, and it's super annoying, and it makes you miss a lot of key parts. This way, they're both happy, and he won't want to put duct tape on her mouth lol
I love this one because it implies that instead of getting on her case about it, he came up with a way they both could experience tv shows the way they like to without creating conflict.
I like talking about shows with my husband. This is why we watch streaming so we can pause anytime for a comment.
My husband and I chat a bit while watching shows. I find having subtitles on helps because I can read it if I can't hear that last little sentence. None of that "what did they say?" rewind stuff.
I have more money than she thinks I have, and I sometimes buy expensive for her, telling her that I found a good deal online. I.e., a really expensive road bike when she was not even looking for a new one because her old, heavy one 'works just fine.' She thinks I’m a genius deal finder when in reality, I just buy the stuff for her because I like to see her surprised and happy. If she knew what I payed for things, she would absolutely not approve and probably refuse any of it.
If they don’t share finances and he can afford it, there’s no problem with him spoiling his partner :)
Load More Replies...I get it because I used to have a relationship like that. I think he figured out that by using that tactic she wouldn't feel guilty of him spending so much money on her. Now sometimes people don't know exactly how much their other half earns. Is it unhealthy? For some it may be (and that's OK), but for others (me included) it's not necessary to know every cent the other makes. He's sharing his money with her and to me that shows he's generous.
I have no idea how much my husband makes until tax time mf it doesn't bother me AT ALL!! But I'm wondering why everyone is saying he's lying about his income? He said he has more than she thinks. That may just mean she assumed and has never asked so he hasn't bothered to tell her otherwise. No harm there
Load More Replies...Hmm, sounds like you're hiding your wealth from your wife. Not sure that's healthy.
I dont see an issue with what he is doing. If it was the other way around then i bet most of you wouldnt care (although you will say you will)
That she lie to her own husband about her income? Nah. That’s your own baggage. Lying to your spouse about money is a big problem. It’s not a partnership. And that would be true any way around and in same sex relationships too.
Load More Replies...I’m not jamming on this one, alas. It screams lack of honesty and trust.
My wifes ex partner was very abusive, they were together in high school. About a year after we got together, she had believed he had taken a long away job and moved away. Her mom told me not long ago that she saw him out and about in our town. This man really affected my wife, so badly to the point that in the beginning of our relationship she would give me her phone before going to the bathroom because he thought it was "inappropriate."
I told her mom not to say anything. Im not saying im the worlds strongest man but I am not afraid to protect my wife and I HIGHLY doubt we will see him out and about. I just feel like it will be better for her mental health if he continues to not exist. So ive decided to lie and im ok with it. :)
On one side, ignorancecis bliss, on the other side, if she foes run in to him she'll probably be shocked a.f.
Most likely knowing he's around would cause her major anxiety leaving the house, so I can understand not saying anything.
Load More Replies...This is random but I'm sitting in my room reading this a 4 a clock in the morning and I just hear this random like heavy breathing! Which one of yall js under my bed?
Oops, sorry, that's me. Thought I was under someone else's bed. I'll leave now. *slithers through window*
Load More Replies...You don't lie to your partner. Especially about something that big. She can't protect herself or be prepared of she doesn't know, and if she finds out you knew.....
And her mother, they are just giving this poor woman up. If he was really brave he tell her and they come up with a game plan, like one she could get a restraining order.
Load More Replies...I don't know, not informing me of danger to my person is not going to make me happy at all.
Yeah right into jail where you can't protect anyone
Load More Replies...what someone doesnt know CAN still hurt them when they find out someone else was hiding it rather than tell them
No you need to tell her. It will be so much worse if she runs into him herself and finds out you two knew all along. You will have destroyed not only her trust in you but with her mother, meaning you will be crashing her entire worldview. I really hope this is a fake post
Meanwhile, if you want to avoid an all-out argument, try your best to focus on talking about the specific problem at hand. If you’re going to start attacking each other over every single mistake you’ve both made throughout your relationship, then you’ll never come to any sort of compromise.
Consider whether you want to be right or if your goal is to repair your relationship and solve whatever problem you have on the table in front of you.
The mouse traps she set out didn’t kill the mice, they were tortured all night and I had to kill them in the morning with a shovel.
She has a very tender heart and never needs to know that. I’ll steer her towards other solutions if we ever have mice again.
Mousetraps are vicious things. Buy humane traps and move the mice out to a field or a park.
Just remember to take it at least 2 miles away, as mice apparently are very good at finding their way back to their nest.
Load More Replies...I would not describe someone who sets mouse traps as having a tender heart....
Do the mice a favor and buy good mousetraps that break their necks. It's the most humane solution of many bad solutions. Live trapping and release at a distance just puts them in an alien environment where they quickly fall victim to the local predators. Don't even get me started on glue traps. Horrible things, indiscriminate and death by slow torture, including species you don't want to kill.
I never knew I had a mouse in my house until my cat became super interested in my chair. I tilted it up to see what he was seeing, and he actually slithered inside the recliner to chase the mouse. An hour later, I'd managed to rescue the mouse and scoop it up in a jar. I wanted to release it in the next door field, but - sadly - it was so traumatized by the chase that it died. I felt awful, but so proud of my lazy, indoor, shelter cat - who'd never even any kind of wildlife - actually managing to cat successfully.
Humane traps are best. Relocation isn’t always an option, especially for people living in rural areas. Poison is the worst option. It doesn’t immediately kill the mice. They may still be hunted/killed/consumed by predators (raptors, snakes, your cat, etc.), which will then kill the predator. Please don’t use poison.
Snap traps are far more humane than most other traps. Glue traps are the absolute worse. I studied mice for a few years, and used live traps, but sometimes mice get trapped in that door. Also, if you live trap a mouse and set them free close by, they'll be back in a couple of hours. If you set them free further away, they'll have a difficult time, and likely die since it's outside of their home range.
A cat is not a humane way to rid yourself of mice - they are pretty vicious predators. Saying that - it is the most "natural" defense.
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I was a sniper in Iraq.
There is a very long list of things she doesn't know and I imagine she doesn't want to know.
Unless you can be 100% certain she will never find out ( even after your death), Please share with her. The pain of finding out secrets can be very very painful and quite cruel to the one you love.
I really understand what you're saying. I'm certain that after reading these responses, he'll share his story and feelings about the war in Iraq. Just saying "it can be cruel and painful for someone you love to find out later what he experienced in Iraq" is an eye opener! He probably thought he was protecting her. Your words will hit with reality and I think you're so right.
Load More Replies...Very good on you to keep those things to yourself! People who don't know don't need to know, especially if not sharing is not effecting your own mental health.
I respectfully disagree. He is going to need to tell her at some point, because she needs to know where his ptsd stems from. I say this as a combat veteran
Load More Replies...If it impacts your wellbeing & behavior she needs to know but probably a highly edited version. My Dad followed D-Day through France & into Germany (Medical Corp MD) and had only told me about hospitals on big estates before D-Day. One day, when somewhat drunk, he started telling some younger men about it while I was there. I wish I'd known 20 years earlier, it helped me understand him
My brother was in the army for 20 years and went to Afghanistan, Iraq and several other places. He has told us some things he did. He is a very tortured soul. He actually had to retire last year because the army REFUSED To admit or agree that he had mental issues happening… Yeah, awesome support after his devoted his entire career to that life.
My husbands war experiences come out little by little. He retired 10 years ago, and sometimes he shares stories that he’s surprised he’s never told me before. Like when he and his buddies changed their mind last minute about going to a restaurant that 3 hours later was rocketed. Or how he was almost killed in a friendly fire accident because some moron MP sergeant was throwing his weight around. He doesn’t have PTSD, he never served on the “front lines”, but he sometimes gets freaked out by fireworks, and being in large crowds because he can’t see who is behind him. I think he is sharing these stories because his mind is ready to share them. And it isn’t like the movies where he breaks down sobbing and chokes the stories out. He will be sharing war stories with others and say “Didn’t I tell you that?” when I say what??!
Oh you just flipped it. Yeah probably not, but if you are Iraqi and married a western woman and they know you were "in the war" she have to assume he might have had to "return fire" in the very least
Load More Replies...My uncle was a sniper in Vietnam. They also used him in Cambodia and Laos. He was only 18 years old. Like Iraq, a completely unnecessary war.
My GF came from a super conservative background, and it took her a while to feel comfortable with her sexuality. She spent her late 20's making up for lost time, and she’s super proud of the progress she's made. We’re mostly open about our sexual histories, but a little while ago I mentioned having done something that I thought was pretty innocuous, and she got self-conscious. She said it made her realize how inexperienced she is. But I don’t think she’s inexperienced, I just had different experiences. Anyway, I know this is something she’s self-conscious about, so I’m probably never going to bring up the time I worked in porn.
My husband and I have spoken very little about our sexual history because it isn't relevant to our relationship, but also thank goodness because I would rather he not know about my b******t.
Secrets are toxic. Not a good idea to conceal something like this if you see a future together. Lots of people might have questions about it. If you love someone you trust them with the truth.
Crazy that anyone would think working in porn was fairly innocuous, that's about as extreme as it gets when discussing sexual histories.
That's not what they said though is it
Load More Replies...People are too judgmental about sex period. It was your past and not relevant to your present. Since when do we know EVERYTHING about a person. So, if we don't regale EVERY DETAIL about your life (Impossible), that is being deceitful? Well, then, we are all liars. Personally, I'm not even going to answer the prying sex questions ever again because being honest made them insecure and cruel to the point of not wanting to be with the person.
What a disgusting way to speak about your partner.
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She's having a really rough time with some family problems so I've been doing more and more with the house and the kids so she doesn't have to worry. I cook almost every night and take care of the kids pretty much every day. Between that and work, I haven't had even 5 minutes to myself in over a year.
I tell her that it's OK and I'm fine, but I'm slowly becoming overwhelmed, I'm exhausted all the time and I don't know how to ask her for help or tell her I'm starting to struggle because then she will worry about me too. She has enough to stress over as it is and I don't want to add to it.
Should ask friends or family if they can help pitch in. Depending on the ages of the kids, they could pitch in, too.
It will be much worse for her if you burn out. Talk with her, see how you both can get time to unwind
Communication, people, communication. You may not want to stress out your partner, but if she ever learns about the burden you've been shouldering, it'll add a nice layer of guilt to the stress. Just...talk to each other.
I know you think it's noble to sacrifice your needs, but in the end you'll need to figure out something different. One day you'll break if you don't.
And also start to resent her and all the while she is oblivious bc you won't talk to her
Load More Replies...My wife and I do one night a week she goes out (usually dinner and a movie), and one night out I go out (disc golfing with friends then dinner). Could be a good start to take some off your plate
You need to tell her we are both going to burn out and crash and burn in separate ways. Also, ask friends and family to take the kids for a while see you both get a break.-Literally even a few hours would make a difference. Also wondering… My family are the definition of dysfunction. They cause me non-stop stress, anxiety and anger but I wouldn’t expect someone else to have to take over all of my duties in life because of the people driving me to an early grave… But that’s just me.
Been there, done that. I also didn't say anything. One benefit is that when I look in the mirror, I don't hate myself
On Father’s Day and my birthday, the only gift I want is to be alone. It’s not that I don’t love them, but I’d kill for a night home alone to order a pizza, drink beer, and game.
Just bloody talk to your wife and arrange for a night when you can do this. It isn't hard. I'm a person who needs a lot of alone time, my wife is a very social person who doesn't like to be alone. So we organise for nights when she can go see her friends and I can have some time to myself.
I love yall British ppl when u say stuff like "bloody talk to your wife" oh I will move to the U.K someday! 😂😂😂
Load More Replies...I think I'm seeing a trend here. *sigh* You were born with a voice, use it! Talk. To. Each. Other. You're meant to be partners, yes? Explain your needs, listen to hers, and find a workable solution. Same goes for any partnership: talk, talk, talk some more, and work with each other.
Having a conversation about your own needs can be really difficult for some people. If it wasn’t difficult, everyone would be freely communicating their needs and we wouldn’t be reading stories like this on BP. It. Is. Difficult. And sometimes has to do with mental health issues, or an abusive partner who won’t listen. It can take a lot of therapy and hard work for some people to feel comfortable enough having these conversations, and that’s okay! We just need to have empathy and understanding for those people. Yes they need to communicate as part of a relationship, but a therapist would never say “just talk to each other, it’s not that hard!”
Load More Replies...Give her a Lady's night gift ticket for a weekend spa for her and her best friend, ship the kids to a sleepover with friends and have your quiet night. If I want a night for myself I gift my husband tickets for some boring things he's into and off he goes with his father and I have a weekend for myself.
My friend. My wife and I do one night a week she goes out (usually dinner and a movie), and one night out I go out (disc golfing with friends then dinner). Could be a good start to take some off your plate
There are a lot of women who feel the same way, and I'm one of them. Just one day/night all to myself.
Seriously, just ask! Ask nicely, though. I actually like e giving my husband “nights off” like this - it makes me happy to make him happy (and he reciprocates - maybe your wife would like a night off too?)
I usually get the day to myself to game and relax. Just told my lady that's what I wanted when she asked and voila!
When I buy something for our son, I lie often about the price I paid, so she doesn't get mad. 'He have already a lot of toys and we spend too much, blah, blah, blah.' We are wealthy and it's my revenge on my life for living in poverty when I was a child myself.
Okay but just SAY THAT to your partner. Otherwise you just will appear to undermine their morals.
I’m sure OP has already tried that, and got met with the “he has enough toys already” etc argument.
Load More Replies...Never a good policy lying to avoid making the other person angry. It must be possible to find a way to have a conversation so she understands your point of view and for you to understand her position so you're not not undermining her to suit yourself.
NEVER lie. Your SO may well find out at some point and, even though this is a relatively benign untruth, once discovered it casts doubt on everything. I’m also disturbed by the dismissive attitude towards his wife’s concerns - “blah, blah, blah”… really? This isn’t “revenge on life”; it’s deliberately going behind his wife’s back to avoid being held accountable and undermining her right to equal say in raising THEIR children.
I hate the way she loads utensils in the dishwasher. I’ll bring it up in her eulogy or die with this secret.
or maybe...just tell her? This is insane. People can't even communicate about silly c**p.
My wife has always had very low self esteem, not only does she load the dishwasher awfully, she never puts anything in the same place twice. She has memory issues both from MS and the meds she takes, so I never say anything, just quietly put things back in the right spot and rearrange the dishwasher. Some people you can discuss things like that with, others take it as a personal attack, different strokes for different folks.
Load More Replies...According to Mr Auntriarch, I load the dishwasher wrongly. So he does it. Problem solved, with honour and satisfaction on both sides.
I learned to load a dishwasher by playing tetris... my wife however... just randomly tosses things in. I can wash 3 times more dishes when I load but... at least she tried!
If you point the knives up it you who s wrong. Buy a new dw with a cutlery tray and your problem goes away
Simpler solution: I load and unload the dishwasher. I'm not allowed to wash clothes for some reason though. I suspect the reason is one and the same.
Oh god, I hate how my husband puts the knife point down in hte basket in the dishwasher! He knows about it. Was raised by a mother proclaiming knives are weapons and not safe or whatever.
To be fair, I injured my hand badly on a knife point-up in the dishwasher - I lost my balance when putting a plate in. My neighbour hurt himself on a knife that was point-up in the dishwasher (can't remember exactly how). It happens. Dishwashers run hot, with powerful jets blasting the water around the machine. Cutlery being point down will get clean unless you overcrowd the basket. It is also recommended that the cutlery be higgledy-piggledy so that nothing nests into each other. Dishwashers are far more efficient than people give them credit for.
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I guess it's not technically I secret I'm currently keeping, because she left me, but my ex never had a lot of close friends or family. So I kinda brought her into my friends and family, and on holidays and birthdays, I'd make sure to tell all of them to wish her happy holidays/birthday but to make it seem like they just knew and thought of her. Not that I told them.
I do this with my current partner. Her family despise her but I tell them all the time say this say that send this message etc etc, so she thinks they can tolerate her. I'm trying to break the cycle.
Don't do that. Don't give her false hope. You're just prolonging the torture and non-existant relationship between her and her family. Some bonds are not fixable. You can't make someone love someone else. She's better off spending that extra time, emotional and social energy making space for other genuine bonds to come into her life instead of these dragged-by-the-chins family who despise her as you say.
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I have a savings account she doesn’t know about. My wife sees money differently than I do. I like to save, she likes to spend. We have always talked about saving more, but then we do and she will spend it. So I just worked around the problem. I will eventually tell her, but that’s a ways off. I’m not sure how she will take this.
Just tell her. I'm bad with money and spend it far too easily, my wife is much more concerned about the future and having money put aside. So she keeps a joint savings account that I can't just easily transfer money out of without her knowledge. That way she has savings for the proverbial 'rainy day' and I don't see a chunk of money in my account that I might otherwise be tempted to spend.
I disagree on this. What works for you, doesn't necessarily work for someone else; telling the wife could be resulting in her starting to spend even more or even less reluctant to save as the husband "already has savings put aside". I think having some secret money set aside with good intentions is not a bad thing at all. It's actually quite a responsible thing to do.
Load More Replies...My dad spent all the money he got his hands on and then some. Mom tried to save money but he spent that money too, without telling her. When he died she found out that he had taken expensive loans and maxed out his credit cards. Luckily the companies wrote off the debts since she did not know about them. My husband is a spender too, but not as bad as my dad. I told him early on that I want equal money to spend on myself. Every time he buys something I put away the same amount in a savings account. He doesn't know that I'm saving it. He never asks what I spend the money on or the cost of the things I buy. It feels wrong to hide money from him, but I want to have savings if something unexpected happens.
You really have to and I commend you for breaking this cycle. I wish you well!
Load More Replies...I'm not too sure how I feel about the secret accounts only because I have PTSD almost associated with this because my dad used this but then spent his money. We didn't go on vacation for like 7 years because he made us believe we were poor and was spending all our money on alcohol and guns.
What I'm a little bit concerned about is that this issue of saving vs spending money has never been resolved and it should have been assuming that they are pooling their incomes. A work-around, though practical, is not a solution. Chances are that if she finds out and there is a reasonable amount of money in the secret savings account, she can claim that she missed out on a lot of things because he kept the money secret and its both their money.
Secret money is never good. She should be aware it exists, even if she doesn't have access or know how much is in it. My husband and I both have separate savings accounts that we funnel money into so we always have something if there's an emergency.
Secret money is good if you have an abusive husband, and you may need to leave quickly.
Load More Replies...Tell her about it when the 2 of you retire and there is a ton of money in there
My wife and I have three bank accounts. A joint checking and savings account and the same for each of us individually. Each week some money is deposited into our solo accounts and the rest into the joint account. The joint account is used for mortgage/bills and emergency savings, and our individual accounts can be spent on whatever, the other person has no say on that spending or even visibility to it.
We have the same arrangement. We pool our money for bills etc but transfer equal amounts to our individual accounts for spending money. What we do with that money is our own business.
Load More Replies...A friend once told me another friend advised her to get a savings account of her own in case the marriage goes wrong, she disregarded it, but I didn't. Thank goodness.
My wife killed our old cat by thinking she could give it baby asprin when it was getting more arthritic to help its pain (she was told by someone this was ok.. it was not ok). She loves animals tons, and this would ruin her.
I fully understand they're trying to protect her feelings, but what happens when this situation potentially comes up again? They get another cat, kitty gets elderly/develops arthritis, and she "knows" a remedy? I feel like she needs to know, in case she accidentally does it again.
At that point, you suggest talking to the vet, as "maybe they'll have something that works faster!"
Load More Replies...Yeeeah... I tend to like to listen to 'someone's (in matters like these) who are professionals in the field... like... a vet? No matter how well-meaning my neighbour/familiar stranger/cousin/bestie is... not going to be w***y-nilly feeding my pet(s) medication upon their unfounded 'belief'.
Vets prescribe asprin to cats for a variety of reasons. The dosage is 10mg/kg every 48hrs and as with any med you keep an eye out for allergic reactions or negative side effects.
Load More Replies...This is a bit of a dilemma, isn't it? Tell her and she will be crushed, don't tell her and chances are that she will kill another cat by giving it aspirin.
Actually you can give Aspirin to a cat. I had to give it to mine as a blood thinner. The Vet is the one that suggested it. So there's probably a chance she didn't kill the cat (depending on how it actually died).
We left my wifes mothers flowers out after her funeral. The cat ate them and we laughed. It died. We later learned lillies KILL cats. Our daughter was relived to know why. We never leave flowers in vases that contain lillies
I didn't know this for a long time and was lucky it never happened because I did have lilies a few times, but then I found out that even a speck of pollen licked off their fur can be deadly! Even if they drink some of the water lilies were in! The dangers of lilies are very important for every cat owner to know, and I share the info as much as possible!
Load More Replies...It’s really not that hard to Google things seriously. This stuff makes me angry. Okay, how old is this woman? I thought it was pretty common knowledge and your child growing up to NEVER Give animals human medication? Is this not a universal thing? She needs to know… In case you get another animal that lives to an old age and she does it again… Whoever the person who told her that is should be in trouble.
a quarter of a low dose aspirin once every 4 days depending on the size of the cat can be ok, but not the entire pill, jesus! poor baby
No it’s not a secret to keep! She could end up doing this to more cats, thinking she’s helping them but actually hurting them!
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I sometimes sneakily eat junk food on the way back from the office...
Seems like this entire list should be “Ways I lie to my wife because I am neither self confident or know what boundaries are”
That's sad because your partner obviously is either worried about your health (in which case you are self-sabotaging), or, they are a control freak, in which case I understand wanting to not be controlled.
That's the majority of the population in America. Believe me, she knows already
That pork loin roast she makes that she’s so proud of is drier than the Sahara and is barely edible. So.. extremely lethal.
Temperature is key. Maybe try something different first, then bring her into the culture that temp not time is critical
Best if you do both. Low and slow and not alone is the way to go with roasts. Pressure cookers can make that happen faster.
Load More Replies...That's a tricky one, haha! If you have to guzzle water to get it down, she might already suspect:))
Buy her a weber digital meat thermometer esp if it on rotisserie. Always perfect and not like a old boot
Try spreading it with mustard and putting à little water in the dish. Much less dry that way.
Tell her what I told my 'cook a pork chop until its like shoe leather' mom. Trichinosis has been eradicated in the US pork supply it's ok to cook pork medium rate. Pork loon with a hint of pink in the middle is just about the tastyest piece of meat one can eat.
Not everyone lives in the US. Also, with the way they are weakening the regulatory agencies powers I am not sure for how long US pork will be safe. Trichinosis and cysticercosis are truly horrible diseases to have. I rather have overcooked pork.
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I bought my wife’s engagement ring on Amazon for around 20 bucks a few years ago. I was poor at the time and couldn’t afford an expensive ring, but I still wanted to propose. She still wears it to this day, and the ring looks fantastic with her wedding ring. She thinks it was a super expensive ring but I’ve never told her the truth. She told me the other day that she doesn’t care how much it cost, she loves it either way. Now that I’m making a significant amount of money, I want to surprise her with a better one.
Why bother? She seems to appreciate the one that holds sentimental value.
Bother, because one day that ring will be at the jeweler to be cleaned, or she will ask about an appraisal for insurance purposes, or somehow innocently find out it's fake. Then he looks like tried to pull one over on her, instead of being sweet and loving.
Load More Replies...This is great example of its not about the money. Your wife clearly is excited by the regular old cheap one. No need to buy here a new one.
I wouldn't want a 'better one'. That ring is priceless for all it stands for and the love with which it was given. My engagement ring was cheap as chips but I'm never ever parting with it for exactly that reason.
Don't replace the engagement ring, get her a beautiful anniversary ring.
Lovely answer. What about an eternity ring? Love for all eternity expressed by a stones all around, not one set in the front.. I don't know what they are called in the US.
Load More Replies...I don't understand this idea that the engagement ring must be expensive at all costs
I love diamonds. Like I have a collection. I think they’re the prettiest stone. But I’d marry my partner with a f*****g twist tie or a straw wrapper. Or nothing at all. I’d marry him at any level and be happy. Diamond are awesome but marriage isn’t about that. Of course I wouldn’t object to a big rock either but it’s just not about that
When I read the history behind American traditions and that men have been indoctrinated by cynical commercial actors for 100 years to have to buy engagement rings for 3000-8000 USD, I get a little sad. In Norway, it is no longer common to have an engagement ring of any kind, and the tradition of an engagement ring that we had 30-40 years ago was just a narrow smooth gold ring that both wore. These cost the equivalent of 50-100 USD in today's monetary value. The rings were also remelted or exchanged for new and slightly wider smooth gold wedding rings with an engraved date and a slightly romantic text.
That her student loan debt scares the f**k out of me. She has almost $200k and it means I can never retire. She has 3 degrees and is going for her masters and probably her doctorate in education.
Talk. About. It. This isn't a cool secret to keep, you're not doing either of you any favours by keeping it bottled up.
People have divorced for less. If you are not married yet know that if it ends in divorce depends where you life you will share the debt as well
Load More Replies...She already has 3 degrees and wants 2 more? Her $200K in debt should be easily paid with 3 degrees...or are they useless? Does she get bored easily? Or is she addicted to education? Either way...this needs to stop. I fear she'll never stop "going to school".
She sounds like a keeper. Just gotta pay off that debt! My wife has three Masters, & encouraged me to get my Masters in Accounting. $200K isn’t a lot of money… It’s the interest rate on it that’s the killer!
Load More Replies...Sounds like she is afraid to grow up and get into the REAL world. You should not get a degree That your profession can not pay for. Love the arts - But an arts degree will probably NOT land a job that will pay enough to pay it off. Especially now - you really need to be careful with what type of degree you get and what profession you are aiming for.
Yikes! Been there! When I met my wife, I was debt free. My wife has three Masters degrees and had a ton of debt. Fortunately, she agreed to work until it was paid off. Seriously… Convince her to become debt free—you’ll both do better financially. We’ve been together almost 11 years, completely debt-free—even our cars & house.
Get her to sign up with a german university for her doctorate. It's free. Or maybe a correspondence university in another country.
I know in Scotland, uni is free for citizens and residents, but international students (whether on campus or remotely) have to pay for their courses, so not sure if Germany is the same.
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I've been helping her win races in Mario Kart for a couple of years now. Keeping other racers off her tail, and trying make sure we finish comps on equal points is a pretty fun challenge.
Healthy competition is what makes playing together fun. If my husband were to 'help' me, I'd be very annoyed with him
Gaming obviously isn't her strong area. She's having fun and doesn't realize part of why she's doing so well is that he's taking out her opponents for her. Where's the harm in that if she doesn't even notice it
Load More Replies...I saw a post on here with two people playing a split screen : the one (more limber?) person was on the floor with a piece of cardboard blocking the upper 1/2 the screen
This doesn’t work for me I’m too mean, if you’re in front of me, look out
That I'm really happy for her in that she's found a group of online friends to play games with and watch movies together, but I'm also super jealous because they play all the coop / party games I want to play and watch all the terrible B movies and discuss them as a group but I don't want to impose on her and her group of friends.
I only have a few people to play games with and all they play is cod.
Tldr. I'm lonely. But it's nice to see her happy with some friends. Even if they are online only.
Have you tried asking her if you could join in sometimes? I feel like a lot of the 'secrets' on this thread are just people who can't / won't have conversations with their partners ..
Yeah, it's strange to me. I'd be concerned about the durability of a relationship where one partner feels they cannot ask the other partner to play a game with them. What else goes unsaid and unfulfilled?
Load More Replies...gaming computers have gone down in price. I think it would be great to have you both playing the game together and with your own computer it makes it more competitive (or you can play in the same room and dual against others). I'd rather have a hubby who plays WOW with me than who watches football on TV frankly. Even if he way out dps (damage per second) me in the game.
I sniff her panties as she's that attractive and her smell just does things to me, when shes not home ill go hunting like a pig lookin for truffles in a french forest. she would probably not care, laugh and probably get off on it if she found out but its my dirty secret.
And I don't understand why people aren't more open about this. How you smell says a lot about your menstrual cycle and hormonal activity, as well as diet affects your smell. This way you can observe possible changes. I don't care about ewww comments so I say I regularly sniff my own underwear to check the smell of my discharge.
Load More Replies...I would be sooooo happy if I were her, seriously, that kind of thing would make me feel really loved and accepted.
My husband has admitted to me that he has done this when I'm staying somewhere away from home!
I got hit by a car with my bike on my way to work. I am fine, no scratch. Bike wheel and steering wheel was all twister though. Sold my PC for quick cash and bought a new bike. She has no ideal.
I don't want her to worry about me everytime I take my bike.
During wildfire season, my brother was the fire boss and spent a lot of time in helicopters directing the crews. Started to lift off once and the engine quit resulting in a hard landing that trashed the copter but everyone inside was ok. He never told his wife because she's worrier about everything. Our sister spilled the beans at a family reunion and she's been angry with him ever since.
Every few days when dropping our kids off to daycare, I would get more than just a coffee at McDonald’s. She wouldn’t care, but I feel ashamed.
Well, that would depend on whether the "more" was an Egg McMuffin or a quickie with the fry cook.
If you're putting on weight, it's not healthy. You're also spending more than she might be budgeting for.
I was trying to figure out a alway to comment this but you said it perfectly!
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My wife has physical disabilities that leave me with most of the housework, holding down a job, and caring for three kids six and under. This all started after our youngest was born. None of her chronic conditions are fatal, but I sometimes wish they were so that she can go to heaven and I can have a second chance at a normal, married life. The wish lasts until I realize I would be truly alone with three kids, and so much emotional baggage that no woman would want me. I will obviously take this to the grave.
Being a caregiver is so incredibly hard. You go into a relationship thinking it's a partnership but it ends up feeling like a burden at times. And there's so much grief to work through even though the person isn't dead. I absolutely agree with Hphizzle that individual and couple's therapy would be good.
Load More Replies...I agree with Hphizzle. You're carrying a big load; counseling can help.
Been there, and went through it for 20 years, when he finally did die, my world fell apart. Yes i will now get to have a "normal" life, but I still miss the man I married ( although he "left" 20 yrs ago). These thoughts and feelings are totally normal. Being a caregiver is a fckn btch. And any one who goes though it is a real hard working "angel". I applaud a man who is sticking by and caring for the woman he loves, most men run.
Echoing the other comments, therapy, my dude. Both individual and couple would be best.
Wow. As someone with a chronic illness who can be bedbound at times, and I just started back working full time so my husband does a lot to keep the house ticking over - new fear unlocked.
If you can afford it, a cleaning service would be a really great gift for you both. Even just 2x per month.
Load More Replies...You sir are truly unhappy. You MUST change your life no matter how hard it is on you or your wife or you will NEVER be happy. To be clear I'm not advising you to leave, but if you have a dark, guilty fantasy like that you definitely need to change something and quick.
This is actually not uncommon, and it's not a sign of not loving your partner, it's a sign of being totally overwhelmed. Life as a caregiver can be incredibly hard, and this guy just simply has too much to carry. I hope he gets help, both therapy/counseling/someone to talk to, and some practical help with all his tasks, so that he can take a bit of time to breath and to have some fun. It's okay to admit when it's too much for you to carry, and hopefully their friends and family are able to help them out a bit.
You need to discuss this with a psychologist. You focus on the disability not the abilities she has. Many profoundly disabled have better self image than skinny insta attention seekers
How much warhammer minis actually cost...
Good job there's no way for her to find this information out for herself, eh? 😜
Little miniature figurines for a game called Warhammer. You can paint them, there’s like thousands of different ones. My partner loves painting them :) I don’t know much else about it though!
Load More Replies...I gave my middle son a resin printer and washing curing machine for Christmas this year. He doesn't realize he linked his local game store account to my account. I see all his rewards and purchases. His GF doesn't work and they recently added my Grandson to the family. I'm hoping it will offset some of the cost of new minis and allow him to keep playing with friends and locally. He is AMAZING at his painting and I know how much peace he gets from assembly and painting.
Yes, they are expensive, but they are cool. There are way worse vices than warhammer minis.
It's pretty esoteric XD They're miniatures that you can play a war game with (two or more "armies" of miniatures can "fight" each other.) You attack with squads of miniatures and roll dice to see if they hit, etc. I was pretty into it in my 20s; I still have an army of Space Marines at home somewhere! I painted the shoulderpads of their armor with leopard spots XD (I'm female, all of my friends and fellow players/army-owners are male, and boy oh boy did they tease me for my leopard-spotted army, haha!)
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Ny partner's weight is a serious turn off, and I think if I told her it would absolutely destroy her self esteem. So I hold that in.
Has that ever worked for anyone? When my husband does that it just makes me want to eat rubbish in hiding so he doesn’t know (not that’d he’d care what I eat, but I’d still feel all shamey)
Load More Replies...I told my husband I thought he waq too big and less attractive, but that I will always love him. He lost weight.
I totally get this, but love is so much deeper than physical. Could you not both share in a healthy lifestyle? Maybe work out together, even walking, or cooking healthy meals?
Why not start going on adventures together? Weight doesn't magically fix itself but a supportive , understanding and honest partner can do wonders.
It’s okay to not be attracted to heavier people, but when you phrase it as “serious turn off” that makes it seem like you feel disgust toward that part of her, which is a problem, but maybe I’m reading too much into this
So you'll only be attracted to her if she's not fat? That sounds like a "you" problem, not a "her" problem.
You can’t control what you like and what you don’t
Load More Replies...This will become a toxic secret eventually. Better to face this head on now and deal with the consequences than to try to bury it. You can find a way to be kind about it without being derogatory, and your relationship may actually become healthier for you both
I used to tell her how nice she look in leather pants when in reality I hated them but she liked them so much I was just polite.
Be kind to your women and respect there wishes. You can be a angel and lie and say you like it, or you can simply except it
I get taken to lunch a lot for work and sometimes lie about where we went so she won’t be jealous.
It does, it also seems more realistic than the heart warming stories on here.
Load More Replies...Because they're most likely expensive places they couldn't afford privately.
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My bicycle cost $6,000, not $600.
My last 4 cars have cost me less than that all together.
Load More Replies...Depends. We each contribute the bills account and the savings accout. The rest is ours to spend and I know damn well that purse she wears costs more that $200 and she knows damn well my bicycle wasn't $500.We always agree to limit xmas to $100 for each other and we always go way over. It's not really lying if they know. If the wife above cared she could Google in 30 seconds.
Load More Replies...Hmmm this might just be a bad thing. If they are good financially but she is just worried or even stingy with money: ok. But if they are struggling a bit or have just enough or he took it out of some fund they had for emergency or whatnot. Not ok man, absolutely not ok!
I know bikes can be crazy expensive, especially the good ones. Tell your significant other the truth. They might be surprised at the price, but very happy that you have a REALLY GOOD AND SAFE bike.
I have to ask, is this natural stupidity or do you have a head injury that caused severe brain damage?
Cool story bro. This just reads like a weird flex.
I....didn't want to ever admit this but....sometimes, when my wife is upstairs, and we agree to eat leftovers.... I order DoorDash 🤫
Right? I think I may almost exclusively cook things that are better the next day.
Load More Replies...and shes never dealt with garbage disposal? because surely she wouldve noticed the packaging
What? So she thinks the DoorDash food is the leftovers? So what happens to the actual leftovers?
So she never comes downstairs or wonders how you're eating "leftovers" that weren't actually left over?
This would make me mad if the reason we decided to eat leftovers was to save money or because we didn’t feel like cooking. And if that’s not the reasons, I’d still be mad because I like food too, get me some DoorDash!
If he's not getting her any, she has every right to be upset.
Load More Replies...We actually have 6 old crappy boats and not just the two
Number of crappy boats needed =N+1, where N is number of crappy boats currently owned.
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Her sister sent nudes to me and I still have them.
Well,you certainly are a total ba××ard. Horrible,nasty,deceiving piece of scum
I'm surprised this hasn't been censored lol But spot on
Load More Replies...So many of the issues (not all, but a fair few) these 'secrets' are about could be resolved, or at least improved, by just having a conversation with their partner. Try communicating sometimes folks!
There are so many reasons people might have issues communicating their needs (mental health issues, trauma, abuse, abusive partner, etc). Telling someone to “just communicate, it’s not that hard,” is like telling someone with severe depression “just get out of bed and do something, it’s not that hard.” Shaming people with communication issues won’t help anyone. Sometimes all that helps is years of therapy. Please try to be more empathetic, fellow pandas, and don’t just assume that all these people are stupid!
Load More Replies...I do not care what your intentions are, or you see it as a positive, if you try to manipulate me or gaslight me in any way, I will never trust you ever again. Have secrets, I won't begrudge anyone that, but not when the sole reason is to mess with my view of reality. Embarrassed about hitting fast food and don't want to tell a spouse? Sad, but go for it. Lie to me about what something costs, or anything financial, lie to me about whether or not i'm actually winning something, or my abilities at anything, no. Absolutely not. So paternal, condescending and gross.
Communication is the key to most of these *secrets*. I would be SO angry to find out my partner was lying about things.
But if your partner was honest about something you are sensitive about like weight you would crucify him most likely. Down vote for being a typical woman.
Load More Replies...My ex had really bad breath way too often. I'm pretty sure it's because she doesn't drink water, which she says she doesn't like taste of (whatever that means, considering you can add a lemon wedge or whatever to). But she also has migraines constantly and takes medication for it. But, to me, the source of both issues is that she's always dehydrated, hence the bad breath and headaches. But I can't and won't tell her to just drunk more damn water since I don't think she would hear it but mostly because we're no longer together. lmao
But water doesn't have a taste. Whatever that means, indeed.
Load More Replies...What awful relationships these people have. Worst part is that they think they're in good relationships. So many could be fixed by just talking to each other.
Many of these people just don't realize they are in a short term relationship.
Some of the comments under these were just outright exhausting. Not everyone can communicate easily and even more so I have a feeling that these individuals know how their spouse will react far better than randoms on the internet. Were there some that def need to communicate yes, but others sounded as though they were just choosing their battles. Not everything has to be a thing🤷🏽♀️
Most of these were really nice & wholesome. I was afraid they'd mostly be like the last one (Yikes!). In such a messed up world, it's refreshing to be reminded that there are still lots of decent guys who *don't* dislike/resent the entire female gender. Thanks for that dose of positivity, BP. 😊
So many of the issues (not all, but a fair few) these 'secrets' are about could be resolved, or at least improved, by just having a conversation with their partner. Try communicating sometimes folks!
There are so many reasons people might have issues communicating their needs (mental health issues, trauma, abuse, abusive partner, etc). Telling someone to “just communicate, it’s not that hard,” is like telling someone with severe depression “just get out of bed and do something, it’s not that hard.” Shaming people with communication issues won’t help anyone. Sometimes all that helps is years of therapy. Please try to be more empathetic, fellow pandas, and don’t just assume that all these people are stupid!
Load More Replies...I do not care what your intentions are, or you see it as a positive, if you try to manipulate me or gaslight me in any way, I will never trust you ever again. Have secrets, I won't begrudge anyone that, but not when the sole reason is to mess with my view of reality. Embarrassed about hitting fast food and don't want to tell a spouse? Sad, but go for it. Lie to me about what something costs, or anything financial, lie to me about whether or not i'm actually winning something, or my abilities at anything, no. Absolutely not. So paternal, condescending and gross.
Communication is the key to most of these *secrets*. I would be SO angry to find out my partner was lying about things.
But if your partner was honest about something you are sensitive about like weight you would crucify him most likely. Down vote for being a typical woman.
Load More Replies...My ex had really bad breath way too often. I'm pretty sure it's because she doesn't drink water, which she says she doesn't like taste of (whatever that means, considering you can add a lemon wedge or whatever to). But she also has migraines constantly and takes medication for it. But, to me, the source of both issues is that she's always dehydrated, hence the bad breath and headaches. But I can't and won't tell her to just drunk more damn water since I don't think she would hear it but mostly because we're no longer together. lmao
But water doesn't have a taste. Whatever that means, indeed.
Load More Replies...What awful relationships these people have. Worst part is that they think they're in good relationships. So many could be fixed by just talking to each other.
Many of these people just don't realize they are in a short term relationship.
Some of the comments under these were just outright exhausting. Not everyone can communicate easily and even more so I have a feeling that these individuals know how their spouse will react far better than randoms on the internet. Were there some that def need to communicate yes, but others sounded as though they were just choosing their battles. Not everything has to be a thing🤷🏽♀️
Most of these were really nice & wholesome. I was afraid they'd mostly be like the last one (Yikes!). In such a messed up world, it's refreshing to be reminded that there are still lots of decent guys who *don't* dislike/resent the entire female gender. Thanks for that dose of positivity, BP. 😊
