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45 Times People Accidentally Learned A Secret That Changed How They Saw Someone Forever
Finding out a secret about someone can be a bit like accidentally opening a door you were never meant to peek behind. One minute, everything’s normal, and the next, your entire perception of that person quietly shifts forever. Sometimes it’s hilarious, sometimes it’s unsettling, and sometimes you just wish you didn't have to know at all.
From awkward realizations to jaw-dropping revelations, netizens shared the moments they discovered something about someone else that completely changed how they saw them without the other person ever knowing. Naturally, we sifted through the responses and gathered the most surprising, awkward, funny, and downright unsettling ones for you to read through.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Learned a friend who flakes a lot is dealing with chronic pain. I stopped keeping score after that.
Paige Merlin 1 week ago
Thank you for the empathy! Chronic pain and chronic fatigue already changed everything and this Christmas it looks like the gift of a new autoimmune disorder 🙄
Kenneth Smith 1 week ago
Let me echo this and say thank you. People do not understand how much chronic pain, especially the fight itself, batters people mentally. Your brain is so overwhelmed with pain signals that it just can't process anything not directly related to survival. I've trained my brain to block out the pain, but I can't escape the feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed, all the time. It's lonely and frustrating because everyone is convinced that I'm being an a*s, when in reality, the pain is too much to mask.
Kenneth Smith 1 week ago
I can't tell you how much it made my day seeing this #1. I'm not being dramatic, knowing someone out there made a choice to understand is a really big deal.
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
See you just never know what people are dealing with chronic pain is no fun I can tell you ,even with strong , (morphine and tramadol plus others ) meds don’t always help , it’s not all in the mind either it’s real docs don’t hand out the stuff I’m on like sweets in uk , so always have empathy for others , you just never know what we are dealing with x
G A 1 week ago (edited)
People with chronic pain ifren do not want to talk about it, or even mention it, for fear of being seen as 'playing' on it, and because, quite frankly, it gets boring talking about it. Personally, I don't want to be seen as letting it define me, and sometimes well meaning comments or actions can be irritating when you, for example, are having a 'good' day.
Tim Douglass 1 week ago
I finally quit trying to hide the fact that I'm commonly in pain. Suddenly people are much more accepting of my failures.
Fluffbug 3 days ago
I think they mean dropping out of plans to do stuff, often at short notice. The keeping score is just counting how many times it has happened vs how many times they followed through and turned up
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#2
I had a classmate in grades 4 and 5 who smelled so horrible, you could smell her from 2 meters away. No one wanted to be her friend because she smelled bad. She got bullied for being overweight as well as her entire family, with her parents being obese. She disappeared randomly one day.
20 years later, I find out that my friend's kid is good friends with her kid. I checked out her profile and found a post explaining what an awful childhood she had with alcoholic parents, her dad hurting her and eventually being taken into foster care. Her parents hadn't paid the bills which is why she never took showers. I felt really awful after learning that.
Sally Moen 1 week ago
I love seeing stories about kids growing up out of neglect and @buse then succeeding as adults. That's a kick in the rear to their parents for treating them that way. Success really is the best revenge
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
So you bloody well should feel bad !m BULLIES ARE S C U M ! and they destroy peoples lives , ,, WORDS STICK , forever ! Think about it !
#3
This is very much me. I have chronic pain (fibro, endo, degenerative disc disease) and I can’t keep friends because I can’t walk around without hurting and for medical reasons I’m unable to drink any alcohol.
I’m already very much introverted but I’ve given up on meeting new people because I don’t know how bad I’ll be hurting (and have to cancel) during future meetups.
I’m only 25 and considering the years ahead feels very, very lonely at times… I wish I had friends, I really do. I feel as though life is passing me by and I am too much of a shut in, too aching to do anything about it.
To anyone reading this: if you know someone with chronic pain, please give them a little more grace and patience. The pain is so real and it affects every aspect of our life ❤️
Edit: Thank you so, so, so much for everyone who reached out and was supportive, offering to be my friend and chat together. The support is overwhelming, thank you so much for all your kind words ❤️❤️❤️.
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago (edited)
As I'm reading this while lying on a heating pad because my back has been kîllîng me lately, like way more than the usual, everyday pain. I have degenerative disc disease, like OP, I was diagnosed when I was 19/20 years old and I'm 40 now. I literally feel for OP. 🫶
Charlotte Ingle 1 week ago
Online relationships can be a godsend to those who struggle to get out and about
Sue User 1 week ago
Sometimes I worry about the amount of time I spend on Internet ( why did my phone capitalize that ). But really, what else is there to do at 3am when you can't sleep and moving is painful.
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tori Ohno 1 week ago
I try. But he won't even file for unemployment or disability. He just lives off of his 401k which is dwindling. He won't even try to find counseling of any kind either. I can't take him in when his money runs out because I have no room, and my husband will divorce me and force the sale of our tiny house. What am I supposed to do?
Betty Spaghetti 1 week ago
Let him. You seem like you’ve done what you can. No sense in all of you drowning.
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Aileen Grist 1 week ago
Some people get diseases without the symptoms. Due to the d***s given for TB in 1957 - well the larger than actually needed amount of them - I get symptoms without the diseases. Doctors decided in the end that I have arthritis and fibromyalgia - I've been tested for endometriosis, lupus, PCOS, cushings syndrome and one or two others. Every time it's 'well you have all the symptoms, but your hormone levels are average, so there's nothing we can do to help you. I have athyroid goitre - but my thyroid is fine. I'm permanently in pain and I'm knackered all the time. I know how you feel. I wouldn't wish chronic pain on anyone
G A 1 week ago
I started working from home during lockdown and my health deteriorated further and I never went back to the office more than half a day a week. It is isolating but you have to work harder to maintain relationships. Also hard when you are tired from painkillers and pain itself all the time.
Anne Roberts 4 days ago
My late sister was my best friend in the world. She had chronic pain from arthritis and degenerating discs in her spine. She was still the wonderful person that I loved so we spent more time just talking, watching movies and it was nice. She passed almost 2 years ago and I would give anything to have her back, but I know she is at peace now. Chronic pain is a terrible thing.
Jane Doe-Doe 1 week ago
Thank you for this, I live with fibromyalgia and other health issues, a lot of people don’t understand how much pain can change daily and often even hourly
According to Psychologs, people tend to keep secrets as a way to protect something important, whether that’s themselves, their relationships, or their sense of control and identity. Fear often plays a major role, as the potential for judgment, rejection, or conflict can feel far more threatening than the benefits of full honesty.
They also explain that many secrets involve things that clash with how individuals want to see themselves or be perceived by others, such as mistakes, vulnerabilities, or socially taboo thoughts. By keeping these hidden, people preserve an image of being capable, moral, or "okay". In other cases, secrecy simply reflects a desire for privacy and personal autonomy.
#4
Used to think a patient was really snooty and standoffish. Learned she was in the middle of separating from her violent husband, while both his family and her own family hound her to stay with him (because of the extremely strict religion they all practice).
Sparky4 1 week ago (edited)
This same thing happened to my wife. But, she decided she needed to be alive for her children and divorced him. She got kicked out of the religion and her family hasn't talked to her for almost 40 years.
Anne Roberts 4 days ago
I'm glad she found a wAy out of a terrible situation. And if she is your wife she has found someone to love her as she deserves. Best of luck to you both. ❤️
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tori Ohno 1 week ago
I'll finish it for you. Abolish all religion that tells women (and men) that say they have to tolerate ab use.
Load More Replies... #5
This actually is still unfolding, but a friend I’ve known for a few years just went through a messy breakup. They only dated for 1 month but I really felt for her. She was so upset and I did think she was lovebombed and mistreated. But then she shared screenshots. He was being unfairly cruel and abrupt in their break up. “Do not call me ever again” “do not come to my house” “I do not care about the stuff you have of mine”
Uhhh… well those raised an eyebrow for me. Her story and the cropped shots of his texts that I saw did not add up to the story she gave me.
**because she is full blown stalking him**
Like- true crime podcast level stalking. Anyway, I’m trying to figure out now how to cut ties w/o agitating her.
JB 1 week ago
Hard to ghost someone who is stapling pigeons to your door. Stalkers be cray cray.
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KatSaidThat 4 days ago
Just cut the ties. Stop worrying about her feelings, worry about her lies.
#6
I found out my 'work mentor'—who I thought was advocating for my promotion—was actually telling upper management I wasn't ready so he could keep me doing his grunt work.
I saw the emails on his open laptop when he went to the bathroom. I never said a word, just quietly found a new job and left him with a 2-week notice and zero documentation.
Gaius214 1 week ago (edited)
A healthier attitude is: Allow everyone a chance to build trust. Those that fall short, treat like an a*s gasket(bin them the same way).
Load More Replies... tori Ohno 1 week ago
He admitted to upper management that he was lying so you would keep doing his work for him? Or did you just assume that you were ready for a promotion? I've run into the "I'm upper management material" way too often lately, and they can barely use their computer.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
Valid point - although certain computer programs are unusable.
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Littlemiss 1 week ago
Exworkmates did this to me. I discovered that her and another worker were actually following me around, double and triple checking my work and undermining me every chance they got. They did it to every new worker, especially if you didn't drink heavily and have children.
When it comes to discovering these secrets, The British Psychological Society highlights that people often discover others’ secrets not through intentional spying, but through surprisingly mundane moments. Casual remarks, accidental oversharing, forgotten browser tabs, messages seen out of context, or simply spending enough time around someone can reveal more than intended.
They note that these unplanned discoveries highlight how secrecy isn’t always undone by curiosity, but by everyday proximity and small human slips that expose hidden information without anyone actively looking for it.
#7
I worked in a dentist's reception when I was younger and there was one extremely stonefaced and what I thought of as rude patient who never returned a smile and always announced herself with extreme rbf. I tried to be extra nice and welcoming but always got the same preceived rudeness back.
After one visit a caveat popped up in her journal: "Facial paralysis".
Don't know why I never considered that an option, even though I myself grew up with a disabled parent and felt that I was aware enough. Changed the way I think about people's back stories and personal challenges.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
Very valid point - "Everyone you will ever meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about".
Laserleader 1 week ago
Which is why telling anyone to "smile" always makes them immediately angry. Smiling is a privilege, NOT a social requirement.
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#8
I found my partners reddit account. They never got over their first love and are sending intimate texts thru reddit chat. Broke my heart. I never thought I'd have to worry about them straying.
LinkTheHylian 1 week ago
From one broken-hearted individual to another, you have my sympathies... but that user name worries me...
Roxy222uk 1 week ago
Argh, I recognise the reference, but I can’t remember where it’s from.
Load More Replies... #9
I had a tough boss that I wasn't gelling with. I could recognize he was being tough on me to help me reach my potential, but I also felt like it wasn't his place to go as far as it felt like he was. I was frustrated one weekend and managed to find his reddit account, the one he's been posting with a couple times a year since he was in college a decade or so ago. He struggled with a lot of the same uncertainty around relationships, career, politics we all do in our 20s. Humanized him for me and it helped me understand that it was his first time living too.
Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
I love the sentiment, "It's my first time living too." It reminds others that age does not necessarily confer wisdom, and that we're all just winging it.
Still, keeping important information hidden in close relationships can weaken trust and emotional closeness, especially when the secrecy breaks shared expectations or unspoken agreements between partners. Psychology Today emphasizes that when something significant is withheld, it can create distance and uncertainty, even if it’s never openly addressed.
That said, they also add that not all secrecy is harmful. Maintaining a degree of privacy can sometimes support intimacy by preserving personal boundaries and a sense of autonomy. Whether secrecy damages or protects a relationship depends largely on what is being kept hidden, the motivation behind it, and each person’s attachment style and past relationship experiences.
#10
A couple I know has taken multiple pets in a fairly short time (8 pets in a year and half). One of them is a small dog. From what I saw they take good care of them, but I’m not sure how they afford it as they’re both on disability (not physically disabled). Basic vet checkups and vaccinations are expensive as is.
However I noticed that they walk the dog quite rarely and most of the time just let it out for a quick toilet break outside then “play” with it inside. One day I was watching their daughter and I asked if they would like me to walk the dog since I’m taking the daughter to a park. They looked horrified and said no no no. I was weirded out but just said ok.
Once we got to the park the girl said that the parents didn’t want neighbors/people to really know about the dog. I asked why is that and she said “we’re not allowed to have one, I can’t tell my friends about it either”.
Come to find out they have a permanent ban on pet ownership by the court because of poor living conditions, neglect and mistreatment of pets they had long before I knew them. The guy had previously beaten a dog for peeing inside after being left alone for 24h and a neighbour witnessed it happening in the backyard.
Now I can’t see them as good people and it has changed how I see them. Needless to say I reported them having the pets. Reading the animal mistreatment report has absolutely scarred me.
Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
My older dog is having age-related incontinence. If she's taken out every few hours, she's fine. But overnight is tough for her. We use puppy pads, and she took to them quickly. No shame. Just care and love.
Sally Moen 1 week ago
No person charged with animal neglect would have fresh pee pads put down for their pets, so you're good. It is disheartening to have a dog that cannot or will not go outside to do their business, but that's fine. They are still lovable. You rock
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Panda Kicki 1 week ago
What about the kid?? They treated the dogs like that and had mental issues but no mention of getting the kid some help.
Anne Roberts 4 days ago
People who a***e animals have a special place in hell waiting for them someday.
#11
My grandma let it slip that my very conservative, churchgoing, very bougie Kate-Gosselin-haired WASP mother was a huge wild party girl in her younger years. My flabbers were thoroughly gasted that day.
Rick Murray 1 week ago
Mom went to Woodstock (yes, that Woodstock). She was always fairly "proper" but she wasn't afraid of shutting down annoying teenagers by pointing out that things happened in the sixties that they couldn't even imagine. 😂 Oh, and for extra epic points, she went there and back (from MD) riding the rear of a Harley with a guy called Wizard. She didn't know him, they were both going the same way and, well... He was a perfect gentleman too. I can't imagine something like that happening these days. Just the right place and the right time.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
Kids often think their parents were somehow always 'above' being interested in séx. Parents pray their kids are likewise. Just shows how wrong everyone can be ...
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Apatheist 1 week ago
People forget that a lot of boomers grew up in the flower-power and punk eras. We weren't all staid fuddy-duddies.
Mel in Georgia 1 week ago
I get a lot of raised eyebrows from my peers when I mention things I did as a teenager. Knowing me now, they never would have suspected it! Seeing their reactions is pretty funny.
Laserleader 1 week ago
Told my teen nephew about the times his mother commited crimes as a teenager, which confused him because she told him she was a perfect teenager. I didnt know she had lied to him, so I couldn't take it back.
hannahbahngswife 1 week ago
Reminds me of my aunt. Praises one of her daughter, compares her other daughter to her. Poor other daughter was scolded as hell when she catched feelings for a guy. Then our family found out that the "good daughter" was cheating on her fiance with THREE different guys.
Anne Roberts 4 days ago
True, but now I have time to focus on things that truly matter. If I don't wear makeup to the grocery store or my hair isn't cooperating, no big deal.
Load More Replies... Anne Roberts 4 days ago
Ha! It's always funny when we realize our parents used to be young and probably wild. 😁
Jane Doe-Doe 1 week ago
So.. older people were meant to live innocent lives when they were young so as not to shock and embarrass future generations? 🤦♀️
Anne Roberts 4 days ago
No no. We led not so innocent lives that we hope our kids and grandkids won't find out about! 😁
Load More Replies... #12
I used to socialize with the head of HR at the company I was working for. My best friend, who also worked at the same company, and I and a few other people would get together pretty frequently.
This head of HR was really cool. Funny, smart, fair. She was also a fundie Christian and for the first time I thought here’s a person who just lives their faith, but not in an obnoxious way. She probably thought I was going to h**l for being gay, but she never said a word to me. Just seemed to accept and enjoy me for who I am.
So about 3 years into this friendship, I find out that her husband, who I also liked a lot, had been previously married and had a daughter. But here’s the thing. The HR woman made her husband never see or talk about his daughter. HR woman and her husband had two daughters of their own who obviously didn’t know a thing about the existence of a half sister. No one knew about any of this at our company.
I’ve never felt such revulsion toward someone I’d considered a friend. It was shocking and I couldn’t stand to be around her anymore. I never confronted her, and I remained polite and professional, cause she was still the head of HR. But man was it a shock.
Maim 1 week ago
I find hyper religious people the least trustworthy and most hypocritical of all.
Tabitha 1 week ago
And fundamentally the most anti-religious as well, as their sanctimoniousness and cruelty in the name of their god(s) are the diametric opposite of the type of behavior most world religions teach us to practice.
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Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
My father-in-law fought in WW II, came home and went to college where he met and married my mother-in-law. They had two sons before divorcing. He then married his high school sweetheart, who had, it seems, been waiting for him all this time. Awful woman; she did her level best to erase her husband’s children. My husband met someone from his father’s hometown who was shocked to learn of his existence since his stepmother just pretended that her husband’s first marriage had never taken place. My husband and his brother were not informed when their father was dying and they were referred to as “other family” in their father’s obituary. Joke’s on her because my husband looks exactly like his father.
Just as the stories show, a single secret can completely overturn how someone is perceived when it carries strong emotional weight and feels "diagnostic", meaning it suddenly explains past behavior in a new way. Rocket Health emphasize that humans naturally place greater emphasis on moral and negative information when judging character, so revelations involving trust or ethics tend to hit especially hard.
Rather than existing alongside earlier impressions, a powerful new fact reshapes them. They note that research also shows that when new information reframes previous actions, people often reinterpret earlier moments through this updated lens, sometimes reversing long-held opinions almost instantly as the entire narrative about that person changes.
#13
Had a boss who everyone hated. Just unnecessarily mean, often dressed down employees in front of everyone, super demanding, never acknowledged good stuff, and was just generally disliked by everyone.
Except one employee who had been with the company for over a decade, who adored the boss. Was a real head scratcher.
I learned that many years prior, said employee had gotten trashed at the company Christmas Party, and punched the boss in the face.
Instead of firing the employee, the boss personally paid for a stint in rehab. The employee was apparently quite the alcoholic.
To this day my brain can’t really reconcile that decision with the complete jerk I worked for.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Being wrong about everything is unlikely as being right about everything.
#14
One of my friends has an excel spreadsheet that is filled with all his friends with their likes, dislikes and similar stuff like that. There is even a scoring system how likely he wants to hang out with people. I was scored a two out of ten. I just thought he liked his space and thought nothing of it. It dawned on me that the only times he wanted to hang out was when other people were involved or he needed something.
I only found out about the spreadsheet because he asked me to fix something on his computer and I saw a file on the desktop called "friendship score card".
Michael Largey 1 week ago
After finding that spreadsheet, OP could have done all sort of interesting things to the "friend's" computer.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
There's a whole taxonomy of different things that have been herded into the big tent of 'Autism' for various reasons, and I'm not sure it has improved public understanding of any of them at all.
Load More Replies... Andrew Keir 1 week ago
Could be a valid attempt to "Know Thyself", though ?
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#15
This super tardy classmate I had in college, was working two jobs outside school. That's why when he's in class, he's always sleeping, and was always uncooperative with activities. He was exhausted. Never told anyone since he seemed like he didn't want anyone to know.
G A 1 week ago
That some MAGA thinking there, dude. Poor guy probably needs to do it just to pay for his schooling and rent/food.
Load More Replies...At the end of the day, learning something new about someone can quietly rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself about them. A single secret whether big or small, can turn admiration into doubt, indifference into understanding, or familiarity into something far more complicated.
Of course, everyone carries things they don’t share, and not every secret is a deal-breaker. Some revelations inspire empathy, others raise eyebrows, and a few make you rethink entire relationships. So as you read through these stories, you might find yourself wondering how much we ever truly know about the people around us, and what secrets of yours might be quietly changing someone else’s perspective, without you ever realizing it.
#16
I recently learned that one of my manager whom I actially like because he's sound and actually very helpful if needs to be, is in his 4th marriage, has 8 kids, and don't know any of their birthdays, ages, or sometimes even names...
I mean... What the h**l?...
#17
Learned a young friend who I thought was motivated and had it together has OCD and bouts of anxiety. Their medication works however it explains a few things I've noticed about their behaviour. Still think they'll go far in life though. They give off that "never give up" vibe.
#18
My good buddy has been cheating on his wife. She knows. Nobody knows that I know and I've told no one. It awful, it's a behavior I strongly disagree with in someone I thought I knew well, and really respected. His wife is lovely, kind and supportive of him.
Rick Murray 1 week ago
I've seen this in some people I peripherally know (close enough to know, not close enough to be my problem). Lovely, cute, and supportive wives and they go and cheat. What the hell? I'd be ecstatic if a girl like that looked at me *once* and they...have her and break her heart. B@stards!
Chrystina Sumpter 1 week ago
Speaking as a divorce attorney of many years, I have found that cheaters are going to cheat. I’ve had clients who decide to forgive their spouse and work on their marriage only to have them reappear months or years later for the very same issue.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 week ago (edited)
My best friend asked me to help him cheat on his girl friend, who I also considered a close friend. End of friendship. Naturally, he told her a bunch of lies to cover his real reason.
Apatheist 1 week ago
My wife's brother asked her to cover for him in a similar way. She wouldn't, and stopped speaking to him.
Load More Replies... G A 1 week ago
Maybe there is some of this open relationship stuff going on, you never know, I guess.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 week ago
From OP: "The woman he cheated with was office staff at his company. She deliberately pursued him in hopes of advancing her career. She was at a gathering i was also attending and my wife and I heard her lay the whole thing out including that my friends wife had found out. It was later also told to me by a mutual friend. I haven't brought it up and I won't. Him and his wife are trying to work through it and remain married."
Load More Replies... #19
My ex's brother got drunk one night and told me about how my ex accidentally ended his mum when he was 13.
Up until that point I had been told she was gone because of alcoholism.
It answered a lot of questions I had about his behaviour, but he actually really scared me quite a few times. His attitude towards women was honestly really strange.
You had to both be just like his mum but also nothing like his mum and also treat him like he was a child but also that's patronising and he is a MAN who would have literal tantrums with foot stomping of he didn't get his way. He also "accidentally" hit me once as well and knocked me over.
Ended up having to leave the country to get away from him, he stalked me online until I had to call the police in my home country as he was threatening to show up at my apartment.
Brian Droste 1 week ago
Now I want to know how OP's ex brother end his mom "accidentally? Sounds like a story there.
Spencer's slave no longer 1 week ago
According to the reddit post, there was an argument, he shoved his mother and she fell, banging her head.
Load More Replies... #20
My friend who I always thought was decent and prudish, kept complaining about guys being perverts and hitting on her. Then one day, a very overweight guy, we both knew, messaged me, asking me if my friend was interested in him. I said no, he sent me a video where she was slowly and provocatively licking an ice cream cone and grinning while doing it. He told me she would send him such videos all the time. He felt very uncomfortable and asked me not to tell her that we talked about this. I promised him I wouldn't. So basically she's making guys think she's interested, so they respond and she can be like oh look they are hitting on me. Once we were outside and she would buy an ice cream cone, filming herself again while eating it. Her explanation was "I just want to test the camera effects". She doesn't know I know.
Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
Teasing like that can put her in real danger if she leads on then trash talks the wrong guy. I’m not being sexist, I’m a woman too, now an old woman, and I have sen the results of this kind of risky behavior. It was potentially dangerous before the internet, and it’s only gotten exponentially more dangerous now that so many people lack basic impulse control and simply act out without thinking—-and I’m talking about supposedly mature adults who should have decently developed critical thinking skills. So I’m just trying to warn her that she’s playing with fire and is really risking getting badly burned. Not everyone is nice and will just let it go. Someone out there is going to take what she’s doing and make her pay for it. Whether it’s one of the men, or one of the men’s girlfriend, or someone else entirely, someone will not take her treatment very well. It was never a nice thing to do to people anyway, and had its own risks even back in the day, and now it’s just downright dangerous.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Plot twist - They guys she sends these videos to are all named either, Ben, Jerry, Howard, or Johnson.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
I think this may be the female equivalent of the male "you must not wear clothing that excites my unrestrainable desires" schtick. Both need to be called out. And avoided.
ID 1 week ago
Low self-esteem is not exclusive to narcissism. I think that term is overplayed, overused and by now very much misused
Load More Replies... #21
Not so much a secret and pretty trivial, but it still sticks with me. I saw an acquantance who I thought relatively highly of not return their cart to the corral at the grocery store. I'm still in disbelief of how much that changed how I view them.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
"Someone else's problem' to return it. In extreme cases "I'm creating work for them so I'll equate that to creating a job for them".
Emilu 1 week ago
Ohh, that attitude grates with me. My mum used to occasionally do it when I was younger (I think she thought it was a joke) until I took her aside and told her that it was a shitty thing to do/say (having worked in retail and been on the other side of "oh, just mess up the pile/leave it on the floor etc; it's their job!") To her credit, she took it in her stride and has never done it since.
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#22
My roommate is an absolutely cool and considerate person but they’re 14 years older than they say they are.
Sally Moen 1 week ago
My elderly relative moved to my state, married again to a younger spouse who was misinformed about their age. At their death the headstone and obituary gave birthdate as 12 years later than real one. 20 years married, their spouse did not know the real age of their spouse!
Daisydaisy 1 week ago
I've never understood people claiming to be younger than they really are. Surely you're just leaving yourself open to "Wow, they look like sh-it for a 21 year old'l
Auntriarch 1 week ago
Exactly. I always said if I was going to lie about my age, I'd add ten years and get "she's looking great for 70"
Load More Replies... K Barnes 1 week ago
A friend's brother married his gf who claimed to be 2 years older than him but was actually 12 years older (she looked great for her age). He saw her driver's licence one day and realized it after they had been together for several years!!! He managed to forgive her for lying, which I would have had trouble with. The whole things was weird but they're happy.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
"Girls" may well keep getting younger than you, but"suitable mates" won't. Get used to it.
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#23
I found out from a cousin nearly 20 years ago that my mom had been married and divorced before marrying my dad and having me. There were no children from the marriage and I don't know any of the details, but it must have happened sometime between 1969 and 1976.
My mom doesn't know that I know and I've never brought it up. I assume there's a reason she never talked about it and if she ever wants me to know about it, she'll tell me herself.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Years after he died, I found out that my father had been engaged to another woman before my mother. I don't think mom ever knew.
Andy Frobig 1 week ago
My younger half sister was never told that our father had a wife between my mother and hers. She knows, but I don't remember how she found out. Also, I found out two years ago that my paternal grandfather was a bigamist from 1942 to 1954
K Barnes 1 week ago
My grandma was engaged to her sweetheart who was k****d in WW2. She only talked about him once, when my mom found a box of mementos, and cried quite a bit/didn't seem over it. She met my grandpa a few years after the war ended. I'm so sad for her, losing her love like that, and would have loved to learn more but didn't want to upset her.
GalPalAl 1 week ago
My mom, who has mental issues and loves to lie about everything once told me she was married prior to marrying my dad. She told me it was a joke, but I feel like there is some truth in her lies and maybe it is true. Then again, I wonder what my dad saw in her in the first place and how could anyone else tolerate her issues...
Glix Drap 1 week ago
Given the thread title I'm not sure why this is here. Does the OP have a different view of their mother after finding this out?
Michael Largey 1 week ago
At least a slightly different view simply from being more informed. But not necessarily more positive or negative.
Load More Replies... #24
I worked with a guy for years and only found out he was an ultra marathon runner by reading the news about a race he won.
Betty Spaghetti 1 week ago
You could probably tell from the lean, wiry build endurance athletes tend to have.
#25
I had a weird feeling about a lady who started working with us a few months ago. I get along with everyone but I just did not like this lady even though she’s always been nice to me. I ended up finding out she is notorious for trying to sleep with her coworkers husbands.
#26
A second cousin of mine projects the perfect family, life online with her amazing catch of a husband. I found out he was married and they had an affair. His poor first wife even confronted them in public and they had been married less than a year.
JB 1 week ago
I don't know what you mean. I'm just sitting here on my yacht next to partially-clothed supermodels, and you're saying this is fake? I don't have to put up with this nonsense, me - the inventor of the flip-cap for ketchup bottles!
Load More Replies... #27
My mum and dad were really my aunt and uncle and my aunt and uncle were really my mum and step dad.
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
Oh wow, that's interesting, wonder what age they were when they found out?
#28
Got to know a friend has a hard relationship with her family due to her brothers’ use of illegal substances and attention seeking patterns. I stood by her through everything even when she needed me at 2 am to vent it all out. It’s been 7 years to us being best friends.
#29
My best friend from my hometown called the Dave Ramsey show and it aired. I use to be an avid listener when I was trying to tackle my own debt. I recognized her voice immediately. I had no idea she was in so much debt.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
I'm not blaming the "help with debt" shows but they are rather drawn to larger amounts; I praise them for the help they give, though.
#30
I found out someone who always joked and smiled was quietly paying off a sibling’s medical bills.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
This shouldn't have altered the OP's view of the person, but confirmed it.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 1 week ago
Altering your view on someone doesn't mean it changed for the negative. In this case it seems to have changed for the better.
Load More Replies... #31
I used to be really involved with the family of one of my close friends. Her father was one of my favourite people, he was just so funny and caring and the way he treated his wife was so special, there was just this charismatic energy that really drew you in… and then one day I found out from his daughter (my friend) he had been leaving love notes to his wife’s sister (who was also her best friend) about being in love with her and wanting to run away together etc. the sister told him never to send them to her again and get back to loving his wife. I couldn’t look at him the same after that. I started to see his charisma was a facade. Over time I slowly distanced from the family because I also couldn’t look at the mother the same. I don’t believe my friend ever told her mother. I don’t think anyone did. Theyre still married and the wife’s sister still spends all her time with them, I just cannot imagine it.
#32
My grandad forced gran to abort their 3rd child for money reasons even though they were doing ok. She always wanted a girl. Then I was born and she helped my dad take me from my own mum and forced her way into raising me. She did a lot of damage but hurt people, hurt people.
#33
I saw a friend of mine - who is a devoted Christian man who preaches the gospel and has a female partner - making out with a a transgender woman. Never said a word to anyone except today on Reddit.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
The contradiction to genuine Christian values is not the transgender relationship, but the infidelity.
Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
People who adhere to extremely repressive ideologies typically have something to hide. You can always tell what their secret is by what they publicly hate.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
Maybe not 'always' - how could you tell? - but probably 'often'.
Load More Replies... Lukas (he/him, it/its) 1 week ago
I remember reading this post about this person who had come out as trans and was surprised when a conservative Christian acquaintance messaged to ask about their name and pronouns. Turns out the guy didn't care if you were trans, as long as you adhered to the standard gender roles for the gender you transitioned to. Trans men had to marry a woman and provide for their families, trans women had to be submissive housewives. You still couldn't be gay, of course, but as long as you upheld those Christian family values, being trans was apparently fine.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
I've known a lot of very "religious" people who hide behind religion so that they don't have to deal with their genders and s****l preferences. One was even a bishop in the anglican church.
#34
There's a lady that is pretty big on the charity scene in my area. She has the image of a good Christian woman. My company cleaned for her and I overheard an incredibly racist conversation she was having. NDA bound or I would blast her publicly. Best I can do right now is quietly influence my networking groups and companies I work with not to use her or take her money.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
NDAs are so often misused. I'd almost question why they are allowed to exist at all ...
#35
I pieced together that my work friend who I have a crush on was sleeping with our mutual work friend, who is married. Going by some of her vague Facebook posts I'm pretty sure she also had a major feelings crashout over him. Feels bad man! She might actually suspect or at least wonder if I know, just because I'm friends with him too, but she and I are both super private and avoidant and would never, ever talk about anything like that.
Probably for the best I know about it, at least from my end, because I'm in no state of mind right now to get into a relationship anyway, and knowing she could even do some stuff like that made me realize that's no one I should be with even if she was interested. But sadly you can't logic your way out of a crush.
#36
Found out someone I used to dislike was actually covering for a sibling all the time. Changed my whole read on their priorities.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
And that's another reason why I should not judge others. I'll leave your decisions about this, to you.
GalPalAl 1 week ago
Had this happen to me at a crappy job I had in college with the supervisor and coworker. The school paid notoriously low wages and offered free tuition. Learned from both of them they accepted working there because of the tuition but both took loans and grants to cover the cost of living. Shattered my respect for both of them in an instant and left the job soon after.
#37
Produce manager at the local grocery store never washed her hands after using the bathroom. Big nope.
#38
Had a friend I met through an old job move to the city we both used to live in (I indirectly convinced her to move there some months after I arrived) and she had some bad habits, a drinking problem, could be a bit manipulative and reckless with the idea that fate or life would just cover for her b******t. Anyways, within just a few months of moving to the city she shaved her head and began partying too much she lost her wallet on K and a friend and I had to go searching for it in and around the venue we were at, she'd skip work a lot (I got her a job where I worked too, maybe a bad idea) and she got to the point she was dumpster diving for bagels from a local place because she couldn't afford groceries all while asking me for $10 for beers after work which I said no to.
None of this was the secret in question OP, but over a year later I found out she suddenly moved away back then and had shaved her head because she got caught stealing her neighbors amazon packages and she was worried she'd get arrested. She flew away in an emergency back to the city we had originally met in. It was a wreck. I knew she was messy, but it really flipped something in me that I found out she not only stole from people around her like this, but never said anything to me about it, and acted like such a victim and was so sorry for herself at the time everything was happening. She still doesn't know that I know. Found out through a mutual friend later on.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
A lot of people act like they are the victim. Quite a few actually are, but the others - oh my word, they devalue the currency ...
#39
A friend of mine was dating an awesome dude. He was into… receiving number 2. Luckily I only had to see him once after learning that. .
Sally Moen 1 week ago
I don't understand the revulsion. If he was a pdf then yes, avoid him, but being other than vanilla in his bedroom activities? Only a fundamentalist religious person would care
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What do you think ?
Rick Murray 1 week ago
The problem with your life being a lie is you have to remember what you told each person, and how to reconcile when people talk amongst themselves. Seems like so much trouble for... for what? My life might be boring to the point of súck, but I don't have to lie about who or what I am.
Pa Pa Panda 1 week ago
My Ex always bragged about being at least 25% native American. Fast forward 35 years our daughter had to get a DNA test because of our grandsons medical problem. You guessed it NO native American DNA I was always a little suspect but she doubled down and said the test was wrong.
Rick Murray 1 week ago
The problem with your life being a lie is you have to remember what you told each person, and how to reconcile when people talk amongst themselves. Seems like so much trouble for... for what? My life might be boring to the point of súck, but I don't have to lie about who or what I am.
Pa Pa Panda 1 week ago
My Ex always bragged about being at least 25% native American. Fast forward 35 years our daughter had to get a DNA test because of our grandsons medical problem. You guessed it NO native American DNA I was always a little suspect but she doubled down and said the test was wrong.
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