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Someone Asked, “What’s The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?”, 30 Women Delivered
With so many years of equal rights progression, sadly, we still live in a largely male-dominated society. The dominance over women can be visible in virtually all walks of life, from your workplace to your family or friend circle. Speaking of which, you don’t ever have to be friends with toxic men, or men you don’t feel comfortable with, or women, for that matter. Listen, friends are people we decide to build a friendship with and there’s no obligation.
So this eye-opening Reddit thread comes as a cold shower for any woman out there who realized they overestimated their male friend. “What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?” Redditor u/sedbiss asked on the Ask Women subreddit, which is home to a whopping 3.4 million members.
The unsettling stories and genuine, yet very disturbing experiences women had with their male “friends” started coming in, and it makes you realize that some people don’t deserve to get close to you and get a friend tag.
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#1
We were about 15, and a friend told me that my 6 year old niece was "hot". Stopped having anything to do with him. About a year later he was arrested for molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18! That was in the 80's and he got 30 years.
Jihana 3 years ago
"molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18" That's the most disturbing sentence I've read in a while.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Anyone who describes a 6 year old as "hot"....needs to be introduced to the police.
rhubarb 3 years ago
Uh didn't add up to 18...!? What goes through his head to make it okay to do that to CHILDREN???
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
Same kind of twisted psychoshit as an ex thought when he snagged an 11 yr. old...was long after I left and I had no idea where he(30-something) was so the cops would catch him. So-called adoptive "dad" tried moves on me from 9 to 15. Of course "mom" didn't believe it, deciding I was also a s**t anyway tho I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend yet.
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Pamela Kay 3 years ago
I hope he was put out there with the rest of the prisoners. When they hear what he's done. It won't be pretty. There may be a lot of hardcore violent prisoners but when it comes to baby rapists. They don't put up with that crap.
Dave P 3 years ago
30 years? should have been longer, though if Judge Jackson had been the judge it would have been more like 3 months (and yes she gave 3 months to a 18 year old who did things with an 8 year old, and she justified her ruling as a 18 and 8 year old are "peers" and he was "just exploring his sexuality)
Michelle A 3 years ago
Thats not good! Now we need for the lawmakers in Tennesee to close the age loophole in House Bill 0233/senate Bill 0526. That bill needs a minimum age before "that person" attempts to marry a child and claim its legal because of the law. There's always one!
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Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
Too bad you didn't beat him with a pillowcase full of soap bars... that would have been way better. Well, on top of the conviction. But the soap thing first.
Naesil 3 years ago
Sadly he probably spent his time in separate ward than general population.. because even the "normal" criminals do not appreciate these kind of crimes and kiddy fiddlers could actually get that pillowcase filled with soap bars treatment. But at least here people who commit this kind of crimes go to "lizard ward" or "coward ward" as they are the lowest form of garbage and cant probably survive among other inmates.
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RELATED:
#2
I work in a male-dominated space and they consider me 'one of the boys,' aka they talk s**t without a filter, even when I'm around. The countless number of ugly comments made about women and the amount of pride they have in cheating on their partners is astounding. I remember one of them saying, 'We go for women in their early 20s because they don't know who they are yet, and they can't argue back. They're easier to train and mold.' He was dead serious, and I was disgusted.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Some of them are quite honest about it even with women. One older man (15+yrs) I dated said that women his age "had a bad attitude" and therefore he wanted younger women. I later realized that "bad attitude" meant options/own will that didn't match his point of view.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
It's also sad because he basically admits to not being able to stand up to a grown woman so he picks the barely adult ones instead.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
"Easier to train and mold" ---- okay, Pygmalion, get some clay and F off.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
I had a co-worker once who said he was looking for a young girl straight out of a mental institution so she would be dependent on him and he could mould her to his taste.
Katinka Min 3 years ago
It's true. That's why I am so derisive about relationsships with Twentysomethigins and a much older man. Age does matter.
#3
I knew this guy when I was in 10th grade, he was a senior. We were friends and I made the mistake of letting him walk me home. He showed up unannounced multiple times and said disgusting things the longer this went on. He said he wanted to “breed me so hard that my screams were heard by satan.”
I hate him.
NsG 3 years ago
Additional context (which actually makes it worse, but us non-US peeps need a little more nightmare fuel) - 10th grade is 15 years old...
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Where is he? I’ll do things to him so that his screams will be heard in the next universe..I hate people like that
Pauline 3 years ago
When I was in 10th grade, a friend of mine’s 25 year old brother locked me in his bedroom in the hope that we’d have sex. He hid the key, I had a massive panick attack and screamed, luckily this was at a party so a lot of people started knocking on the door and he didn’t do anything but this gave me the creeps of guys for a long time
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
If Satan/Lucifer were real he would take pleasure in torturing that vile monster.
MonitorShotput 3 years ago
One could say the thought of him thinking of his mother while saying this would actually make it worse, in some ways. Just saying.
Load More Replies...Although it's hard to exactly pinpoint why some men act like entitled jerks and have the audacity to tell these things to women, the toxic behavior is partly if not largely blamed on them being insecure. In fact, men who are insecure about their masculinity showcases typical behavior. It manifests in some form of anxiety about a man being presented as a less masculine, more “vulnerable” version of himself.
Such anxiety may be present if a man refuses to carry his girlfriend’s bag, or hesitates to hug his male friends in public. Psychologists believe that these men who aren’t secure in their masculinity are aware that their manhood is precarious and that they may, at any moment, lose manhood status in other people’s eyes.
#4
I said I was r**ped by my uncle and he said "Lucky uncle"
Kathi Schäffer 3 years ago
I'm actually out of words... Except to say I am so so sorry that human trash bag said that to you!
Roomba Gloom (No/None) 3 years ago
I hope he DIDN'T hear the life support machine (meaning I hope they unplugged it...)
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InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Mate any dude says that around me is getting knocked out, f****n dude.
#5
He said, 'I honestly didn’t care about what he had done to you, I was just listening in the hope that you’d cheat on him with me.' Then I immediately rid him of my life.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago (edited)
I have a "twatbasket" for you. When I was 16yrs old, a friend set me up with a guy named Mark, had been seeing him for a few weeks and met him at the skating rink one night with my friend throughout school, Kay. The next day the girl that set me up with Mark, said she was supposed to call him back and I had to hear what he was saying about us, she wanted to put him on a 3-way call and me be silent. His conversation was eye opening, especially how he wanted to "slap the meat to both of us" I just quietly hung up the phone and didn't take any more of his calls. My friend Kay called and told me he had asked for her phone number, I told her that I had heard far better already that morning told her what he said. We had inside jokes for years thanks to him. Edited for a comma.
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Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Typical "nice guy". "I was listening to your problems so you owe me (one-sided) sex"
#6
If you girls knew how guys talk about you when you can’t hear them, you wouldn’t go near us again.
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago (edited)
That is why girls don't go out at night, unless we absolutely have to, or we have a group.
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Paul C. 3 years ago
Myself and a guy I used to work with once passed some young girls while we were in the work van and he said "Oh jail bait" I told him to STFU! So yes some of us do, we're not all the same.
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Kathi Schäffer 3 years ago
Let me preface this by saying I love my brothers. But I once went to a concert with the two of them where they got pretty drunk and started talking in a way I (as their little sister) had never heard them talk. What they said about the women around us...it was appalling! This was more than ten years ago and I like to think they're both better men now. But it really hurt me back then.
Ben Whiting 3 years ago
Not all men are like that, I do agree that the men like that are disgusting.
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Ece Cenker 3 years ago
You mean "how guys talk about you when [they think] you can’t hear them?"
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
This rhetoric is both cowardly and damaging. MEN act like this. Do not further push the agenda that being a man is a privilege one has to earn. Male identifying humans over the age of 18 are men. But sure, go ahead and completely ignore the systemity of issues like this. Pretend that men who act like this are somehow a separate entity from the rest of the species if that makes you sleep better at night. All men have the capacity to act like this because the issue is SYSTEMIC and SOCIETAL.
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Mariah Greenwood 3 years ago
No we know. That’s why so many of you fools will die sad and alone.
Sisyphus 4.0 3 years ago
Mariah you are wrong. Many of these men will get married. Sadly.
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This belief can be understood as a byproduct of our society that spreads the belief of gender role norms, which are often sexist and imply that gender is a social status that has to be earned.
A 2012 study has shed even more light on how masculine insecurity can predetermine men’s behavior. Scientists conducted an online survey that probed how the male participants perceived masculinity standards and how their own self-image fit in with this perception. The 600 male participants were asked whether they felt as masculine as the average guy or if they wished to be more macho. The survey also included information about the individual's substance use and violent behavior.
#7
In high school, i was SA’d by two male “friends.” This happened at a party in which no one did anything. I didn’t handle the aftermath well (who would) & i threw myself into more reckless decisions(partying, drugs, alcohol, hanging out w the wrong crowd). Anyways, I was at another party that one of my best (male) friends was throwing. I was really drunk & another one of my male friends said to the one throwing the party, “she’s in the perfect state for you to bring her upstairs now.” They had both been at the party I was SA’d at & the one that threw the party was actually the first person to ever ask me if what happened that night was consensual. It almost turned into this joke with everyone that if you got a couple drinks in me that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do; everyone thought it was funny. I remember when those words left my “friends” mouth then watching the other one just nod, agree, & laugh. I was terrified. The one that threw the party had a crush on me & spent the whole night chasing me to try & apologize. It felt like a part of me split entirely that night when I realized that I was always just an object to the people I thought were my friends; that no one cared about what was done to me & they would do it again. I felt so helpless. It’s been five years since my first assault in high school - still don’t know what those two boys did that night & i don’t want to.
bushmeat 3 years ago
Unfortunately, porn teaches men that it's OK to treat women as just holes to shoot your load in.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I know I sound like everyone's grandmother, but this? Carry a grapefruit spoon. They're not illegal last I knew, you can always say you just wanted to comparison shop for the next one, and go for the eyes. Tip from my mom to me.
Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
Jesus. F*****g. Christ. Sad thing is... I think a lot of young women can relate to this story. Whether it's the fear. Whether it's the physical SA. Whether it's the male friends who turned out to be monsters. Whether it's the being made fun of for something that happened TO you... that you were not apart of.... sadly I can relate to more than one of those things and I know almost every one of my friends who are women have similar stories too. OP, if you're reading this... I'm so sorry you went thru this. If I could hug you I would. Only with your consent of course.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
This is so sad and disgusting, it made me tear up. SA is worse but betrayal of "friends" is heart breaking.
Mėlissæ Hill 3 years ago
I just wanna say…in the early 90’s when I was in high school, this (nearly) EXACT scenario also happened to me. There was some inside joke that I was never TO THIS DAY let in on…I still am not sure what happened to me but SOMETHING did that I was UNABLE to consent to. Day after tomorrow is my 30 year HS reunion, I wish I could be excited and look forward to it like normal people…but i am too afraid to go because if I see any of those people, I’m likely to go off. Anyway, I wrote down my intentions to let all that go on a piece of paper and burned it under a full moon in 2019, but it seems it will always be there underneath the surface. You are not alone. 💝
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
Please think about getting some therapy to help you think all this through. You are worth so much more than you know, and this is a heavy burden to carry around.
#8
My male friend once told me that a lady cut him off on the highway, which pissed him off as anyone would be. But instead of just moving on from that, he followed her all the to her house and parked right outside her home so he could 'scare her.' He then laughed and said that she didn’t get out of the car until he drove away. I was f**king horrified when he told me all of this, and I went off on him. I told him how f**ked up it was and how she probably felt scared for her life. He did end up feeling bad about it and told me he was embarrassed and upset that he scared her, but it still doesn’t excuse what he did.
It's Me 3 years ago
No. He doesn’t get a pass. Terrorism is what he did. It may not seem like it but he followed through with something that was on the terroristic end.
Iggy 3 years ago
Quite right. That woman doesn't know who he is or why he did it. She is probably still terrified. He's a bullying git and deserves to be given hell for being so awful.
Load More Replies... Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
See.... it's s**t like this that men can't understand is beyond f****d up. Because they've never been at the receiving end of this torture. They've never feared for their life walking home at night. Walking to their car. Being followed by a man who won't leave you alone. Carrying your keys in your knuckles as a weapon. Carrying mace, tasers, knives.... having 911 already dialed "just in case" ..... so they act like this without considering wtf is going thru that woman's head. They think it's funny. But that was probably a life changing moment in her life and she will probably never f*****g forget that day. She will forever watch out her rear view mirror... worried about being followed home. She will forever think that someone is following her. Or that this strange man who followed her home is going to come back.... she probably sat in her window all night.. checking locked windows and doors just to be safe... just waiting. F**k. This. Dude.
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Would he have done that if it it was me, a big lump of bloke, who cut him up? Probably not, says all you need to know.
bushmeat 3 years ago
Happened to me too, but instead of driving home I drove to the police station.
Shanna Pugh-Champnoise 3 years ago
When I first started driving the first thing my stepdad told me was that if I ever knew or even thought someone was following me to drive to the neatest police station or emergency room. I didnt understand emergency room but its because usually security is right inside those glass doors. He told me to NEVER drive home.
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Kimmarie Brando-Praesto 3 years ago
He was lying to you to shut you up. You’d have to be a psychopath to do that in the first place.
Lisa Reuss 3 years ago
But did she stay friends with him after this? I don’t care if he was maybe, sort of, a little bit remorseful way later on. When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.
#9
When I was 17, a guy that I considered a good friend was mad that I rejected him, so he made a profile on an escort website and used my photos and all my personal info. He said it was just a joke. I called the police.
Samantha Sager 3 years ago
What did the police do? Absolutely nothing for me. I had to do things myself. My pictures are probably on a lot of things I don't even want to know about. I know I was turned into a man in some. Man am I a good looking man, as well as a woman though! That one blew my mind. This man and I were not good friends. I don't know what drove Him to wait until 2020 to come at me but here we are 2022 and he is out of control. The damage he has done is unimaginable. I am waiting for the coward so we can settle this. If he wants too stay out of prison and not miss years with his children, he should definitely contact me. Someone should. His friends no all about what he has done. Accomplices. I have gone above and beyond being the bigger person and I am done. Eye for an eye.
Sisyphus 4.0 3 years ago
Yeah that works. I'm being sarcastic. Didn't help me at all.
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Sandra Llewelyn 3 years ago
Yay finally someone who contacted the police, no petty social media revenge tactics - use the law ladies
The researchers found that the men with high discrepancy stress were more likely to be violent than the men who were not as concerned about their masculinity. The two groups, however, were not likely to differ significantly in their alcohol and drug use, the scientists said. They also found that these men characterized as having high gender role discrepancy and high discrepancy stress partook in assaults causing injury 348 percent more than men with low discrepancy stress.
#10
We were coming back from an event with another male friend, mid conversation he said “you’re actually gorgeous, surprised no one has r**ed you yet”. They both just laughed. Haven’t forgotten and won’t.
Ansi 3 years ago
What a beautiful compliment 🤮🤮 (obviously sarcasm, that's discusting and vile)
Ms.GB 3 years ago
Oh you silver tongued devil, excuse me a moment...."barf"
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K- THULU 3 years ago
WTF is it with guys and rape comments? What , too much porn or something? Fk it makes me furious! I've known too many, way too many, rape victims in my life to tolerate that type of sht. It's not a joke! Or a threat or a fkn fantasy! It's fkn evil! IT DESTROYS LIVES! IT DESTROYS HOPE! IT SHITS ON EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD! I've seen too many beautiful talented people destroyed by that BS!
Naesil 3 years ago
I personally think that rape is one of the worst things you can do, especially if the victim is child.. even worse than killing (torturing to death is probably worse). The psychological trauma will haunt for the rest of the life.. and the sentences for rape are way too short in my country.
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Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
You look stabbable. I'm surprised no one has stabbed you yet.
Gypsy Lee 3 years ago
Dear men, rape isn't a compliment. It's like saying you deserve to be tortured, s**t on, violated by a blade smeared with pig feces, set on fire, and thrown in the trash. Imagine if a woman said that to you, and had the power to make that happen. ... but you deserve it, you know, because you had the audacity to be born male, so accept it, then thank us for treating you so horribly. -If this offends or bothers you, good. You're starting to understand our perspective.
#11
A gay, friendly coworker gave me a morning hug and then unhooked my bra. Naturally, I freaked and yelled at him and he just jokingly said, 'I like boys, it’s okay for me to do that!' It was a confusing way to feel violated, but I needed him to understand how disgusting that opinion was, so I made sure he saw me tell other people what happened. He responded the same way a few times until he realized how stupid he sounded.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I would've grabbed him somewhere inappropriate and go "I like girls so it's okay for me to touch you there as I have no sexual intentions" and see how he likes it.
lenka 3 years ago
Yep this was my reaction too. Grab his balls nice and tight and say. Its not sexual assault because you're gay.
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Dave P 3 years ago
Something tell me he is not gay but probably bi. Doing something like that in a setting like that is sexually connected. Be very wary of him
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
This kind of thing is probably more about control than sex, the way that rape is. But I agree that the OP should be wary.
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Lillukka79 3 years ago (edited)
I have slapped a gay guy for grapping my boob. No matter of your sexual orientation, you do not do that.
Ansi 3 years ago
I hate that. In 9th grade (whatever thats for you US) most guys came up with how to press on the right place on our backs so our bras unhooked just while we walking along in the corridor. It was a hassel and embarressing. I have boys now, working on their healty masculinity. Fu€k that toxic shitt.
blue_molly 3 years ago
This happened to a friend of mine at a bar once. This guy grabbed both her boobs and then said, "oh it's fine, I'm gay". Um no guy, that is not fine.
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Sexuality is irrelevant, that dude needs to be a fired and given a beating.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Just because you know he doesn't go further, doesn't mean it's any less harmful. What seems funny to you might not be funny to someone else, especially not this crap. Use that for close friends who use it as an inside joke with each other, not this
#12
Not a male 'friend' per se, but a male acquaintance said he enjoyed hurting women emotionally and, knowing they liked him, he could then take advantage of their feelings and do what he wanted. This is something most women are probably aware of, but it was shocking how unashamed he was in just saying it out loud.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
More likely a Sadist or a psychopath. Sociopaths don't tend to get enjoyment out of manipulation and emotional torment, it's just a means to an end and generally feel complete indifference to the act.
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Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Could stuff like this also have something to do with the internet? Many male-based fiction (mostly nsfw) on the internet have absolutely insane ideas on what women want
Party Poison 3 years ago (edited)
I think mostly the internet doesn't necessarily create, but amplifies existing issues and toxic behavior because of echo chambers, but especially younger people are taught through pornography that this is what it is supposed to be and recreate it.
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Thomson StClair 3 years ago
Reminds me of a friend I had once who fell in love and was heartbroken at 19 - his first ever "real" girlfriend, and she "hurt him so badly," that he decided to act out against all women and made them fall in love with him (he was unfortunately very charming to women suffering with self esteem issues) and would purposely break up with them in hurtful and malicious ways. Yeah, I'm not friends with that a*****e anymore.
#13
I didn’t really know him that well and we were hanging out at a bar. I was about to go to the bathroom and he made a comment about spiking my drink while I was gone. He said it was 'just a joke' but that’s s**t's not funny. I took my drink to the bartender instead and never saw him again.
Beeps 3 years ago
Really, why do people do that??? I had a cat sitter once who kept joking about stealing my cats. Obviously never used her again.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
A man I call fuckface came to "take care" of my sister after major surgery. He threatened to have all of her cats euthanized, more than once. This scumbag had just buried his wife three weeks before coming to see my sister. He threatened to have the cats killed while my sister was in surgery. I threatened him in front of 4 witnesses, including hospital security. They came over, and said in front of him, that they would back me up. He is an emotional abuser, if not a physical one. He refused to let me see my sister after surgery.
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troufaki13 3 years ago
You never joke about things like that, even if it's with your best friend!
Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
That's why i always drink bottled beer or cider at the bar and I never put my drink down. With a bottle you can atleast keep your thumb over the mouthpiece when you're not drinking. Plus, makes it a lot harder to drop something in there when the opening is 1/16th of the size of a glass. I'll see a stranger who is a woman put her drink down and not pay attention and I won't look away until she picks it up again. I don't even go to bars anymore because I can't relax. I was drugged by a bartender. Me and 2 female co workers at a work event. That's the biggest reason why I get bottled beer. N I will not take it if I don't see the bartender take the top off. You can't trust anyone.
Shanna Pugh-Champnoise 3 years ago
One of my.husbands so called friends bought him a shot and had spiked it because he thought if my husband (bf then) went down I would leave with him. He found out that it takes an elephant tranquilizer to take my husband down. Although he was rolling around in the dirt crying in front of the bar but I got him home safely. Funny how that guy never came around again after that. He knew we knew. Everyone has to be careful about their drinks when they're out.
Load More Replies... Pamela Kay 3 years ago
Nothing wrong with having a sense of humor but. There's just some things you don't ever ever joke about..
#14
I used to work in specialized group homes for disabled and aggressive youth. I was 20 at the time and am a woman. My coworker always brought up topics that were horrifying and made me very uncomfortable, but the very worst one was when he said, 'All females have a r**e fantasy' We were alone at 11 p.m. while the kids in the house slept. I left THE MOMENT my shift was over and immediately requested to never be placed with him again.
Karin Jansen 3 years ago
Interestingly enough, a lot of woman do have this fantasy! One research found it's not because they want to get raped (hell no!), but because they can freely fantasize about sex that way without feeling guilt. Women are so brainwashed in most societies into thinking that wanting to have sex equals being a s**t/ shameful, that even in their fantasies it's easier to create a scenario in which they have no implication on them ('I'm not a s**t, I couldn't help it'). How messed up is that? The patriarchy, the slutshaming and the constant 'protection of virginity' seeps deep into some women's minds..
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lenka 3 years ago
I hope you also told the organisation. Good chance he was in the job for access for disabled and vulnerable minors
Debra Powell 3 years ago
I once heard a comedian say "here's my rape fantasy... it's for more convictions and longer jail sentences". And I couldn't agree more.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
It seems more likely that his delusional âss has a râpe fantasy involving all women.
Mariah Greenwood 3 years ago
And chances are that he’d do some horrible things to the young girls he might care for. I’d say castration is in order.
Katinka Min 3 years ago
So nice to know that disable and agressive youth are plied with that kind of talk
Alexis minnix 3 years ago
Ok story time: so, for some time I did have a rape fantasy. BUT I didn’t know it was rape. Basically my brother just told me what sex was but left out the consent part. So 7 year old me thought sex was something that men do to women regardless if the woman gave permission. So I started making fantasies about getting raped but I thought it was sex. Later on in life I learned that it was rape and I’ve never had those fantasies again.
#15
I told a friend about my sexual assault experience and immediately he said, 'See, that’s why you have to watch who you get involved with.' Basically saying that it’s my fault for not noticing the red flags. Thanks, my guy! I was the one who was assaulted, no need to turn this into an 'I am the wise one' moment.
Sam 3 years ago
now wait for the men to come explain that this isn't mansplaining. "Well, hactually . . "
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Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Sure, the problem usually has two sides. But that doesn't matter when one side is a repulsive and cowardly scumbag of a human being
Naesil 3 years ago
Even if some situations could be avoided, and its easy to say which ones with hindsight.. blaming the victim is still wrong. If I get stabbed because I went trough bad neighbourhood at night doesnt mean its my fault, sure I could have maybe avoided it by taking a detour but I didnt thrust the knife (have not happened to me but for an example that guys might understand because in normal day to day life we dont really get raped at the same rate)
Thomson StClair 3 years ago
Essentially saying "You deserve to be raped because you're a poor judge of character"
Nothanks L. Walk 3 years ago
He didn't. He admitted he's fine with assault. Unfriend, block, ghost. NOW.
#16
I was roommates and friends with this guy for years. We were talking one night and he asked if I remembered the party we met at years before, and I said that I couldn't remember any details because I was super drunk. I actually had to be walked home by some kind acquaintances at the party that night. He said he knew, and that he was sober and trying to get me to come home with him, but I got pulled away by those acquaintances. I wanted to cry. This person who I considered a friend, who lived in the bedroom next to me, looked me in the eye and said that he wished he assaulted me. It's probably the worst and scariest thing anyone has ever said to me.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
I hope you left that apartment immediately and found somewhere else to live. That doesn't seem safe.
Let’s All Just Try And Be Decent 3 years ago
Maybe I'm reading this wrong or maybe something got missed out but it doesn't mention that in what he actually said? Sounds like he was saying as he was sober he was trying to get her back home safely and not with drunk acquaintances she didn't really know? I may be completely misinterpreting this but who knows
Edison Michael 3 years ago
She said he was trying to take her to his home while she was drunk. A man trying to help would try to help her get to her home.
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PandaPops 3 years ago
Does it though? As they were room mates. Trying to get her home with him could literally mean take her to their home
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Jennifer Brown 3 years ago
I didn't read that into it at all..when did he say he wished he had assaulted her?? He said he was sober and was trying to get her to go home.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 3 years ago
To his home. trying to get a drunk girl he didn't know back to his house. they weren't housemates at the time, didn't even know each other at that point.
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Celeste Grant 3 years ago
I wonder if you were super drunk or whether he had spiked your drink? Or doctored what you were drinking to have more alcohol in it than you realised?
#17
We had a friend's husband help my husband and I move. My husband went to make another trip to grab more of our things, so my friend's husband and I were alone. He said, 'Man, there’s no way that I would ever leave my wife alone with any of my friends' To this day, I still don’t know what to think about that.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
That apparently he sees women as exotic animals you need to protect from poachers?
Mii 3 years ago
Either that or that he's got shitty "freinds" and doesn't speak up about their behaviour
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Mateo Buysse 3 years ago
Probably one of those typical mental lowlifes with conservative views and conservative friends that overall think women in general to be inferior and weak.
Dave P 3 years ago
meanwhile when one of my closest friends what engaged I helped secretly plan a surprise for him with his fiance (now wife) because she wanted it to be perfect for him and needed help. If you cant trust your friends around your wife, then you need friends who respect boundaries and people.
Shanna Pugh-Champnoise 3 years ago
If my husbands friends come over and hes not home but expected shortly most of them will not come in the house to wait. They will wait in their car or on the front porch. I guess its some kind of man code or something. I'll be like you can come in and wait and they're always like I'm good I'll just wait out here.
Darnell Gregory 3 years ago
It's respect. This way ppl won't start lies. MNy a relationship have been compromised by ppl assuming the worst. I get it trust your spouse, but still it's a bad situation when rumors are spread about someone you love. BTW most men don't protect the wife because she can't we protect them because they are worth protecting. This hoes both ways
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Samantha 3 years ago
I've been married 25 years. Not only has my husband left me alone with his friends, but we've had a couple of them live with us for a while. I've gone on vacation with a guy friend, just the two of us. DH and I trust each other, and we trust our friends; otherwise, why would we hang out with them?
Eliza MacLean 3 years ago
My husbands best friend and I are alone together all the time. What a weird thing to say
#18
When I was 19 I was out walking in the middle of the night with my two closest guy friends, one of them was quiet, shy, sweet. I had a crush on him. The other one was loud and sometimes annoying, . We were all high. They slowed down and I kept walking. We got to a field we went to all the time. Suddenly they both came up t behind me and the quiet one grabbed my hands and held them behind my back. The other one started putting his hands inside my shirt and pants. When I finally got free the quiet one who was holding my hands said "dude it felt like we were raping her." Those are words I'll never forget. As weird as it is, what he said effects more than what they did. I never in a million years thought I'd hear those words come out of his lips.
Ansi 3 years ago (edited)
It FELT, it FELT... ? I was assualt! 🤮 That's so horrible. Hope you have people in your life now that is better then that, and you can trust.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
That behavior is disgusting and disturbing. Those guys are in no way a friend. They are predators. It sounds like someone practicing for more their assault before trying a more elaborate approach on her or other victims later.
K Witmer 3 years ago
No one will believe her if they both deny it and she will be blamed for walking w them at night high in an empty field. Those are the first two things the police will say to her. Not saying she shouldn't have reported it just telling you what inevitably will happen.
Load More Replies... Samantha Sager 3 years ago
😥. It's the words that always replay over and over in your head. I am so sorry that happened to you. Karma is a b***h, and they will get their's if they haven't already. My 21st birthday started out amazing. It ended with what I was told is called, "hate f**cking." I don't know the technical term. It's when a person becomes very violent during sex. It is what gets them off. It's horrific and something you never forget. Be careful who you let into your home regardless if you know the person or not. You never know what will happen. All I remember is praying it would end, and my upstairs neighbor didn't hear anything. My neighbor was like my mom. All I could think about is not screaming so she didn't know. Now I wish I had. The man who gave me such a memorable 21st birthday has no soul or remorse. I ran into him one time since, and I had just had a baby. I can't explain the rage I felt looking at him. Thank God I had my son I'm my arms. Keep talking about it, you may be helping someone.
K Witmer 3 years ago
Samantha I'm so sorry. I know your rage. I've felt it too unfortunately w the predator that hurt me. Give your son lots of hugs
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Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
Dude it feels like I’m typing out a reply to your comment right now, weird
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Egg 3 years ago
And then thrown into the ocean with an anchor tied to the cage.
Load More Replies... Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
I went out to a club with three guys once, 2 loud and 1 quiet. At the end of the night we still had 2 hours until their sky train home so I told them they could hang out with me at my house until then because my roommate was home so I felt safe. The 2 loud ones pinned me down and stripped my clothes off while the quiet one sat in the corner watching and going “you guys this feels weird, she’s crying you guys stop….” but not really doing anything about it. Roommate never woke up. The most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to me, I was legit begging them to stop, I’ve never begged anyone like that before.
#19
About one of our other friends at a barbeque: 'I’ll make my move when she’s drunk enough.' I kept my friend and all other females away from him that night.
Paul C. 3 years ago
Was at a party one night and guy who I would call an acquaintance more than a friend sidled up to me and pointing to a female friend said "just a couple more drinks and she'll be ready for fun". I turned to him smiling and got close to his face and quietly said "if I see you within ten feet of her I'll put you through the nearest window". He left soon after.
Shreya Swaminathan 3 years ago
Mother moral of the story is, MEN DON'T BE F*****G DOUCHEBAGS AND RESPECT A WOMAN AND THE VALUE OF HER CONSENT REGARDLESS OF WHETHER SHE IS SOBER OR NOT!!! There we go fixed it for you. 😑😑
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#20
“That time you passed out drunk at the party, I fingered you.” He also proceeded to tell me how he only became ‘friends’ with me in the first place with the intention of sleeping with me and resorted to non-consensual touching when I didn’t accept his feelings. Real douchebag.
laura lee 3 years ago (edited)
Cops really suck at this btw, they're really horrible to the victim, so are the SANE nurses btw, unfortunate personal knowledge. Did you know they take naked pictures of you, for evidence and also take your panties and such for lab. You never get either back. Someone out there has nudes of me in my worst most vulnerable moments, yay. Fyi 2012, still haven't tested my kit...statute of limitations quickly approaching.
Load More Replies... Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
Lol you trust the police to handle rape cases? Grow up
Load More Replies... InfectedVoice 3 years ago
The only way you can get some is from a passed out chick? Go and kill yourself now you rapist piece of s**t.
Nothanks L. Walk 3 years ago
That is not a douchebag. Cats are douchebags. This f****r is a felon.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
Unfortunately, depending on when it happened, it could be too late. Statue of limitations may apply. So sorry this happened to you! :(
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#21
Not exactly a friend, but a buddy from my travel group, when we had an argument about having/not having kids: "If I could, I would imprison you and f**k you until you get pregnant". Apparently, in his mind i was insane for not wanting kids when i'm an "interesting person".
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Keep such dark fantasies to yourself and people you can talk to about such tgings, and even then, be very very careful
Mama Penguin 3 years ago
Should have replied: "If I could, I would imprison you and castrate you".
Boreedout of my mind 3 years ago
Wtf are people on? How did he even get into a travel group with other people being such a freak
Gypsy Lee 3 years ago
If I could, I would throw you down a pit breaking your legs, then dump rotting fish in and fill it up to your neck, because you don't agree with what I think. -Sounds entirely sane and reasonable given his gender and the fact you have to teach him how to live in your world.
#22
He commented saying my outfit made him want to take me to a dark corner and doing horrible things to me but he can’t because we’re friends and you don’t “do those things” to women you like.
Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
I had a friend in elementary school that said he wanted to "Do things" to this girl he liked behind her house. I told the teacher and his mom along with the principal. He said a lot more things that make me want to punch him.
Dolly_of TheCowboy 3 years ago
This is the attitude of people who would think it is acceptable to "do those things" to people working in the sex industry because "I paid them so it doesn't matter what I do to them it's my money" >.<
Gypsy Lee 3 years ago
And when you tell a woman these things, you don't get to be surprised when she doesn't take it as flirting or a compliment, because it's a horrific threat. Maybe you should tell him you would like a gang of men to rough him up and violate him in a dark corner while you film it so his family could watch later. Not much different.
#23
Multiple grown men had told me my entire childhood that I had 'amazing birthing hips.'
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
I got approached by an old dude who told me that and wandered off. My mom was with me, and was severely perturbed.
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Curry on... 3 years ago
Hmm...a doctor said this about me to my mother when I had my first pelvic exam.
Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago
And it isn't even true! A woman can have wide hips and a narrow pelvis. I know I do. Had to have a c-section or risk both of our lives. It's the insides that count, not the outside.
#24
Don’t you ever get scared of being alone with me?
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
As someone with low self esteem, I can say this statement could also be interpreted differently, maybe they just want confirmation on that they're not creepy. I need that a lot due to this
Edison Michael 3 years ago
Context is king. One can phrase the question in a way to learn if they come up creepy, sure, but just bluntly asking that is really, really creepy. So if the intent was asking that, now they know that yes, they certainly do and need to be more attentive, and if it was not, now the other person knows they are creepy.
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#25
One said something in a group chat saying he’d basically go pull some 'whale,' clearly meaning fat woman if he wanted to get laid. I, being a fat woman, called him on that, then told my friend who he’d clearly had a crush on and had been trying to get together with for a while. It's safe to say she never went out with him.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Says a lot about how we handle both sexuality and overweighth people in western society
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
@Mark Berry - nothing wrong with nipples, your nipples look exactly like women’s nipples. Just a reminder.
#26
That he could tell by a woman's scent that she's on her period and whether or not she's a virgin. That was so creepy, I didn't ask for any further details.
May 3 years ago
I had a colleague once (summer job when I was 18), who claimed he could tell by the way a girl walked if she was a virgin or not. He'd also complain about having trouble finding women who were deep enough to contain all of him. He didn't worry me, I just found him ridiculous. I told another colleague about the things he'd be saying (big bear of a gay man) and he said if the first guy ever tried anything that he'd make sure the first guy found out if HE was deep enough. I miss that big bear, he was amazing
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
I wonder if he can also smell when a guy is creepy? Or is he experiencing nose blindness.
Leslie Crittenden 3 years ago
I knew a guy once who said the same, he was dating my sister. Used to go out and beat up gay men for fun on Friday nights in NYC. Great guy. /s Became an NYC policeman.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
I would've said "congratulations on smelling bodily stench all the time".
#27
A male friend of three years wanted to move into a room that I was vacating. When my housemates chose the other potential renter instead of him, he turned on me, shouting and blaming me for the decision not going his way. His words were something along the lines of 'I should've stopped being friends with you a long time ago when I realized that you wouldn't have sex with me.'
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Why cannot men be friends with women? Why is it all about sex? I am a straight man, my friends are pretty much all women, and love them as friends.
Sam 3 years ago
no idea. I have male friends who have no sexual interest in me. Its great just to hang around and visit and not have to worry
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Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
Yup. When I got engaged I lost 90% of my male friends. And one of the few that I stayed close with told me that they stopped talking to me once they realized there was no chance in me sleeping with them. So if you're paying attention. They respected mr fiancé who they barely knew... more than they respected of valued me.. a person they had known for 8-15 years. These were men I was friends with for more of my life. Never knew they felt that way. Never knew they wanted to sleep with me. Never. Fucken. Knew it. Had I known that I would have dropped them years ago... but I truly thought they were like family. It broke my heart to know that my closest friends only saw me as a thing to F**k and not an actual human being who they cared about.
Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
My fiancé *** Respected or valued** For most of my life ***
Load More Replies... Droopsnoot 3 years ago
If a dude freaks out when not getting what he wants (from different people, no less), tgat's already a red flag
Susie Elle 3 years ago
Guess he should have and saved you the trouble of investing in a fake friendship
Verena Abt 3 years ago
Yep, many of my so-called friendships with males ended like this. The moment they realised there won't be sex, the friendship was over.
#28
I was in London with a big group of friends when I was a teenager, two of the boys came over to me and said "that guy over there offered to buy you for the weekend, we want you to pretend to be ok with it, and we will rob him" I was f**king horrified, I hardly knew the boys and this sounded terrifying to me, one of them started getting angry with me and saying I had to because he knew other girls men had tried to do this with, and they needed to learn a lesson.
Still makes my blood run cold, I was 15 by the way.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Three dudes vs one, and they need a scared stranger for that? Just let one of tge dudes wear drag instead of traumatizing innocebt teens
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
Jesus. Buy her from whom? she's a human being. Can she buy his d**k from the guy holding the pizza?
#29
“If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.”
Sareaesque 3 years ago
because it does, I've had friends who kept getting pulled back in because their partner kept threatening to suicide if they left, and they didn't want that on their conscience. They get gaslighted into thinking it is their fault, and are in too deep to either realise that the threat is empty, or that they are not responsible for what the other person does.
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Panda Kicki 3 years ago
Been there. He said he would kill himself if I didnt come to his place, that he had taken some kind of pills. I called the police , reported possible suicide candidate. They drove there, and he happily opened the door, in a night robe, candles lite, roses on the floor and a romantic supper on the table. He was very dissapointed when it wasnt a young girl but two pissed of old cops. They yelled a lot and told him that next time he will go to psyc ward.
Flopsy 3 years ago
This happened to me when I was about 10. Only he jumped off a tree. He survived unscarred.
#30
“I’m divorcing my wife for you”
Samantha Sager 3 years ago
You are an idiot if you do what...be with a man that said that, or get a divorce?
Load More Replies... Samantha Sager 3 years ago
This isn't fair on either side. If she knew he was married and with him, why or how could she even be upset?! I don't understand marriage or cheating. If you are cheating in any way shape or form, get a damn divorce or break up. I can imagine the divorce process is grueling. I do know how hard it is knowing you are going to break your person's heart though. I could have stayed and started looking for something on the side. Many people think that is exactly what I did. Nobody knows anything and they shouldn't. It should be dealt with between the two people in the relationship only. Don't put your guilt on someone else. Why cheat when you can leave. If you want your person and another person....I guess hope everyone is cool with it then? People don't communicate and this is what happens. Simple communication goes a very long way. I am currently in a relationship that is very laid back and never a need with worry. 😂..if only. Nah...I have had my fill of relationships.I got me always.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
Samantha are you drunk 😂 I’ve gone on long wobbly rants on BP when I’ve been drunk and overthinking the post before. Glad you are in a good relationship now though!
Load More Replies... #31
He made a 'joke' about drugging and r**ing me. I was 15 and he was in his 20s. He said it in a way that made it seem like he was testing the waters and trying to figure out what I’d let him get away with. It’s safe to say that he was no longer considered a friend after that.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
The fact that you had that dude around you while he was much older is already creepy
Lynette Foxen 3 years ago
Censoring the word Rape, is both Stupid AND Dangerous. It not only won't stop anything, it removes the the impact from the action. rApe shouldn't have to be misspelled to be ADDRESSED.
Bella Jones 3 years ago
Why would he not be if he hadn't done anything untoward until that comment?
Load More Replies... #32
I used to have a cocaine problem. My 'best friend,' the person who usually went to the dealers to get the drugs we used together on a daily basis, once tried to pimp me out to a dealer. Looking back, he had definitely groomed me and gradually pushed boundaries to lead up to this, but one day he said, 'Hey, you know [dealer] thinks that you’re really hot right? I bet if you just suck his d**k or something, he would throw us a good amount of free s**t' I was a vulnerable 20-year-old girl who was in so much deeper than I ever thought possible, so I made the perfect victim. But I still told him that he could go suck the guy’s d**k if he wants free drugs that badly because it sure wasn’t gonna be me. Also, just for the record, if I’M sucking the d**k then why are WE getting the drugs?
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Great response, luckily he didn't get too agressive when you rejected (if he did I'm sorry)
#33
"You've already done it before. So you're no longer a virgin. It doesn't really matter. You should let me do it to you." My so-called best friend after I confided in him that I'd slept with my first boyfriend, while I was locked in his car at night and he was meant to be driving me home.
#34
A guy who I thought was my friend told me 'No offense, guys are friends with you because they want to f**k you.' and that ruined me for so long. I couldn’t be friends with anyone without questioning their intentions. I still want to cry whenever I think about it.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago
Unfortunately, that's not wrong if you are a conventionally good-looking woman. Happened to me several times that dudes just wanted to hang out with me and just be "friends" and then made their move when they thought I was probably drunk enough. I wasn't, bastards. Never get really drunk around a group of men, one of them will always be a creepy pos and most of the rest will go "not all men" on you. Some decent guys exist but are rare. Sad as hell, but true in my experience.
Boris Long-Johnson 3 years ago
Wanting to “f**k” someone and actually trying to initiate that are two wildly different things. Humans are supposed to have self control - sure I’ve some friends that I wouldn’t say no to (assuming we were both single) but animal instincts and human decency/morality are two very different things.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
True, but when you’re a woman and you’re used to having to to do a lot of work keep yourself safe around men, that is hardly a comforting thought. Literally changes nothing. Glad you thought that was worth contributing though.
Load More Replies... #35
If you just let me f**k you, I'll go back to being your friend.'
Jihana 3 years ago (edited)
How about I won't let you f*ck me and we won't be friends anymore?
Dirk Daring 3 years ago
Dude, if you were hanging out with her just in the hopes of having intercourse with her, then you were never really a friend to begin with, and never truly intended to be.
#36
He was asking to come over late at night and I said no bc my mom was home and I wasn’t interested in him even as a friend so I had no desire to allow him to meet my mother or even to come hang out with me. When I said no because of my mom being there thinking that would deter him he said “that’s okay I’ll just tie her up in the basement haha” … blocked instantly.
#37
"We're supposed to be together! I just know it!" As he(rather large man) held me against the wall and forced his tongue my throat while crying. .......on date #2. Had to pull the old "Yea! We are! Im into it, I swear!" Until i could escape safely. I had roses show up on/in my car. On my front porch. ON MY BED WHEN NOBODY WAS HOME, for weeks. I had to f**king move! Edit: we were friends for a couple years first.
#38
My gay friend (him being gay is relevant here) said to me: you wouldn’t mind being r**ed, would you? Me, very sarcastically, thinking it was a sick joke and not a horrible real question: well I don’t think most r**ists light candles and make sure you’re happy and comfortable, and even if he did, still no, so yeah I would very much just SLIGHTLY mind being r**ed. Him: huh, I wouldn’t mind if some guy just f**ked me out of no where. I didn’t think you were so uptight. Me: wh…
Susie Elle 3 years ago
There's a world of difference between having a rape fantasy and actually getting raped, and 'consent' is that world.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
THIS. I guarantee you every single person with a rape fantasy knows people/places/things/actions they do not want involved in the rape fantasy. Consent is key.
Load More Replies... Katinka Min 3 years ago
Why do people so often equal consensual bdsm sex with rape? Rape is not about sex, and pleasure, it is about power! If a guy just wants to come he can will have a nice wank. But if he rapes a girl he gets off on hurting someone, destroying someone - or rather something, as they usually don't see women as fully human.
Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
There is consensual role play... and then there is rape. Clearly men fantasise about rape that is not consensual way more than women.
#39
That he videotaped girls when they used his bathroom. Never went to his house again.
#40
He started rapidly accelerating on an extremely dangerous road, and, looking over at me, asked: "do you want to f**king die, b***h?" We don't speak anymore.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Reminds me of a dude that pretended to slow down when I was crossing (on a white stripe crossing place, don't remember the english word for it), and then suddenly hit gas as I was halfway just to scare me. He didn't really drive forward, but still
#41
He told me he watched me and my new boyfriend have sex through new boyfriend's blinds. I brushed it off as him trying to scare me until he started describing what I had been wearing and the things inside the room. He stalked me for a good four years.
#42
My old male roommates of six years said, 'Of course, we were all thinking about whether we could have sex with you, and were kind of hoping we could join if you brought home a chick one day.' It was very diminishing of the years of friendship I thought that we had.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
The feelings are common, the rudeness is not. After years they should've known you don't take such brutal honesty well. And as a lesbian, f that last comment. Why do people still think it works that way
Sheena Leversedge Wood 3 years ago
because pornography tells them that's how it works. lesbianism is framed as being for men's enjoyment.
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Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
The guys that think like this are the ones who are heard more than the others because of how loud they are
Load More Replies... #43
After I had lost some weight, a male friend said to me, 'Now you're getting how to be a proper woman.
TheDanceQueen 3 years ago
And then tell him what take a punch now you’re becoming a proper man
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Leslie Crittenden 3 years ago
Ok, now I'm not dieting any more, I'll stay fat for protection, thank you.
#44
After getting very drunk and ill, he arranged a room at the hotel where he worked. I spent all night puking in a bucket. The next morning we stopped by my work (also his previous work) and he made a silly joke that I didn't think too much of. A year later, I found out that he'd told my coworkers that he slept with me because 'He always gets what he wants.' All of a sudden, I understood why my coworkers thought something was going on between us. He had already made a bunch of other comments over the year that I got angry over (about my weight and my mother), but as soon as I heard this, I instantly cut him out of my life. He didn't understand and kept calling me 20 times a night, but I blocked him.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Two red flags! The second one reminds me of my ex which never seemed to realize that actions have conseqiences
#45
Had a male friend I was giving a hair cut to, he was my close friends neighbor and married. They were struggling financially so I offered to cut his hair for free. My friend and his wife had to run some errands so I was in his home clipping his hair, just the two of us. Out of nowhere he says "I could r**e you right now and no one would hear you scream"
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
'I could stab you in the throat with my scissors, however, and the reason no one would hear YOU scream, is because I would have severed your vocal chords.'
Kimberly Young 3 years ago
I hope she ran out of the house immediately and left him with a half-done haircut.
Heather Menard 3 years ago
Answer back I can also shove these scissors in your ear and no one can stop me
Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
It's almost as if women need to start wearing body cameras. Well, Ideally men should just stop being POS... and parents need to stop raising POS children.. but like... until that happens... women almost can't be safe OR PROVE what these predators do and say.. unless we wear body cameras. Obviously this wouldn't make us safer in every situation. But atleast we'd be able to prove what happened. Because ppl still believe POS men when they lie over the women who have no reason to lie.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Is it too much to ask to have nothing happening when a man and a woman are alone? This proves there are still very deep issues in society
#46
I was really self conscious when I was around 13/14 and was constantly scared that I was too fat (I was literally underweight). Anyways I had a friend and we were texting after school and idk how it came up in conversation but I mentioned that I felt like I was fat. He was like no way you’re really skinny blah blah and I was like no look I’m fat and sent a picture of myself wearing a crop top and said look at my stomach it’s not flat or something like that. His response was “ngl I would wank to this photo if you want to prove that you’re not fat” Very strange. He also asked for me to send him a picture of my underwear on my head and to put clothespins on my nipples. WE WERE 14. Anyways I stopped being his friend after the last one.
Sherman Von Gee 3 years ago
This is why we need to teach young women what to look out for.. even though we already do. But the rules and regulations have changed with social media and technology in general. Again, we need to teach young boys to NOT DO THIS S**T! But we also need to make sure we're teaching young girls the types of behaviors and cues to look for to better protect themselves. It's so f****d up that we, as women have to think for 2 ppl.. n we have to go thru our whole lives assessing every situation to figure out whether we're in danger or not.. how we can't ever let our guards down. We can't trust just anyone or any man. We have to be on the look out from every fucken direction because it doesn't matter if we're 14 n it's boys our age... or it's that creepy fucken uncles friend at the party or that creepy teacher... or that older boy who dropped out... or the neighbor kid we babysit... there needs to be classes in schools about this s**t. For boys and girls. This is so scary.
xandertheawesomeguy 3 years ago (edited)
wtf? they're literally just starting high school and he's already making such weird comments
#47
Had one of my officers call me up in the middle of the night and says he going through some s**t, wants to know if I can go for a drive with him and help clear his mind. I say yes, I’ve lost Officers to suicide and their mental health is extremely important to me. He picks me up, and we go driving. We end up in the middle of nowhere and in the middle of a forest. He appears to have calmed down, and the conversation has gotten lighter. I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but he started talking about my outfit, I was wearing jeans , a t-shirt and a north face jacket. He makes the comment that I don’t dress like a lesbian. I laugh and say “well I was actually going to wear a flannel but I didn’t realize how cold it was.” All the humor and light mood drains out of the truck as he looks over at me and says “Well, sarge it’s a good thing you didn’t, if you had you’d be getting r**ed right now.” He looks at me for a moment, no smile or laugh even just to indicate that it was a horrible, disgusting attempt at a joke. He put his hand on my knee and then says “you know if you ever want to f**k a guy, I hope it’s me.” I looked at his hand, then out the window realizing how bad of a situation I was in, we were in the middle of nowhere. I had no phone signal, no car. The only thing I had working for me was I am in considerably better shape than this man. I tell him “Hey, it’s getting late, you seem like you’re doing better. I really should get home.” He looks at me for a moment and I brace myself to fight or flee when removed his hand and started driving me home. He again was joking and laughing but I just felt sick the rest of the night. He dropped me off and I practically ran inside my house. He quit not too long after and I haven’t seen him since. Edit: To clarify, I found out later that he apparently had a thing for women in flannels and as someone who regularly wears flannels, I’m super glad I didn’t wear one that night. He also had brought along his handgun and a spotlight both of which he showed me before driving in to the forest, no red flags until the rape comment though. In hindsight, I feel like an idiot.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Don't call yourself an idiot. He'a the idiot if he thinks this is an okay thing to say
#48
That he wanted to hunt me. Literally. In the woods at night with him wearing a terrifying mask he had. The first time he brought it up, he laughed it off as a sexual thing. The second time (because I never learn the easy way), he said it would conclude when I was dead.
#49
My brother's friends totally dropped the façade in front of me at a party once. They were discussing how to get this one guy laid, and their main idea was to get her really drunk. I was shocked.
Fat Harry's Ghost 3 years ago
I was talking with a *female* friend once that the girl I liked wasn't interested and her suggestion was "get her drunk". The problem spans further than just men.
#50
"I really want to r**e someone. Please don't be scared of me." I was 14 and he was 16. Maybe a budding bdsm fetish he didn't know how to verbalize, or maybe a f**king creep who I'm glad I distanced myself from.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
As someone with anxiety, I’m always worrying/rehearsing to make sure I don’t say anything weird or offensive. I absolutely CANNOT understand the people that talk like this, like are you not embarrassed? I’d honestly die.
#51
We were working at a hospital together and he followed me towards a closet. I don't even know how it happened, but his hand ended up on my belly, like kind of rubbing it. He asked me when I was going to have sex with him. He was married with 2 kids, knew I was/am into females, and it wasn't the first time he asked.
Rembrandt Q. Einstein 3 years ago
Can you wait until tomorrow? I have a meeting with HR that just came up, oh and I'll want to check with your wife as well to make sure she's ok with that.
#52
"I'm really lonely right now and I miss my ex and I just need some human contact right now and I know we're good friends so I figured you and I could be sex friends." Which he proceeded to ask me 20 more times after I said no every damn time in less and less polite ways until I finally got home and told him goodbye. I blocked him and never spoke to him again. Tried warning my friends but they didnt listen and he ended up assaulting one of my best friends. Needless to say I was livid and damn glad I shut him out of my life completely.
#53
I've been tracking your cycle and like you better on your period'
xandertheawesomeguy 3 years ago
Oh yeah, that's not creepy at all. Let me just... make a call really quick.
#54
After another friend called him out for stalking me. “I just wanted to make sure she wasnt f**king someone”
#55
It was a close friend of mine, close enough to feel comfortable enough sharing my deepest thoughts with. I had just been sexually assaulted a few weeks before this and hadn’t told anyone about it. I decided to confide in him one night when I was over at his house hanging out, and when I told him about what happened, I started crying. Instead of comforting me, he leaned in to kiss me, as if that’s what I needed at that moment. What’s even worse is that I didn’t pull back or reject him, I think that I was so upset and in shock at the same time, I just let it happen. I wish I would have stopped it but I felt frozen.
Iggy 3 years ago
You probably were frozen. It's possible that your instincts told you that was the safest option or perhaps it was shock but either way, you need to stop giving yourself a hard time. He was the one in the wrong, not you. I hope you have cut him out of your life and have found someone to speak to.
Laura Edwards 3 years ago
That happens to a lot of rape victims. I'm sorry you experienced that.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Either he thought assault victims are easy women now, which is a very harmful thing, or he believes in fairy tales when a woman immediately throws herself on the "hero" when he saves her
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
'Fight, flight, or freeze'. It's not uncommon for people to shut down.
#56
"You know if you're taken from behind it just takes a hand on the back of your head and your face in the ground to make it so you can't scream." While watching horror movies with friends who had left us alone to go out and smoke.
Cordelia 3 years ago
The actual number of rape comments on this thread are disgusting and horrifying I have a 3-year-old daughter who's going to grow up and in this disgusting ass world full of predators
Meg Hurst 3 years ago
As a mother to a daughter close to that age, I'm 100% with you.
Load More Replies... #57
He could sell me because I apparently had the face for it. Yeah we're not friends anymore.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
Wonder how a guy would feel if this was his reality (disclaimer so I don’t get yelled at: yes not all guys, yes everyone is different, no it’s never the woman’s fault, etc.)
#58
If you were single again, I'd love to f you. Answered with the end of our friendship...
gay insomniac assassin panda 3 years ago
it was never good what he said, but I am happy you dropped him faster than the speed of light!
#59
That if he didn’t ‘love’ me he would probably r**e me. Ex boyfriend from when I was 15. He ended up assaulting a 13/14 year old at 18.
Cordelia 3 years ago
I'm seriously starting to feel that we should make a register of men who've made open threats towards women so the police can inspect it and correlate predators with those past histories and threats.
Memere 3 years ago
I agree, but the police will only make a report if an actual crime has been committed. They ignore it when the creep has just made comments.
Load More Replies... Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Apparently, something went wrong with him around those years if he was still hanging in tgat age category. His mental age was apparently zero
#60
not a friend but one time my ex told me he wants to “skin me”
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Either it's literal or some sexual slang. Eitherway it's both super creepy
#61
He wished girls could just exist in pods and they would stay in there until unlocked by him. We were in 7th grade.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
Ew do some guys really think about women like this? I’m a f*****g human just like you, I breathe and am hungry and thirsty and mad and tired and happy and experience things too HELLO.
Lynette Foxen 3 years ago
When my little sister and I were teens we came up with an ultimate fantasy where we would find a couple of guys that we would keep in the closet and take out only for sex and housework, then they would have to go back. We embellished on this "desire" openly in front of all the dudes around us. We'd been living in a town of 200 people and the men and guys our age were free to be as sexist as they liked. Since we were the only 2 girls in our group of friends who would gather at our place where our boyfriends also lived, we got sick of the BS. Thing is- the big difference here is that our "closet boys" were willing, not forced, not raped or subjected to violence like the men spoke of. What made this tactic work was that our guys willingly humiliated themselves and the dudes around us felt humiliated too because we were so confident that we'd find men, that we ignored protests that no one would, and just continued talking among ourselves about all the tasks we'd have them do. It Worked!!
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
For a kid or a teen, such comments can be excused as them not knowing yet how things work. If they are older abd talk about basements insteas of pods, rub
xandertheawesomeguy 3 years ago
I can agree if it was like an elementary schooler but idk, I'd think a 7th grader would know better.
Load More Replies... #62
A colleague of mine at a very large and famous company was talking about his wife after a few drinks and going on about how hot he was. Then he said he would murder her if she ever cheated on him. I was like, 'You wouldn't actually murder her, would you?' He was dead serious and said yes she would have to die, I would kill her. Our other colleagues (male) were shushing me, acting as if my questioning him put me in the wrong. It seemed like people felt his background and beliefs were more important than a woman's life.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Some people have such middle-age ideas about cheating. Some even follow books tgat state it
MoodyBlue 3 years ago
And if you recognize this fact and try to avoid those people, you are racist.
Load More Replies... #63
That he wanted to make a woman fall in love with him, marry her, and then kill himself while they were having sex on their wedding night. He said that he wanted to make it so that she could never have sex again without thinking of him.
#64
A coworker once told me that if it wasn't for his love of Jesus, he'd be out r**ing and murdering people.
Cordelia 3 years ago
Honestly with the way a lot of" good Christians" act I wouldn't be surprised a lot of them have some really dark hearts and they're only afraid of hell
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
One of the reasons I don't trust religion, it's people are too unpredictable
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rhubarb 3 years ago
I'm ashamed to see how other religious people act. They'll say these things, be racist, be homophobic, then say it's in the name of God. He does not condone this, and never would. So to all these people who have experienced these things from a religious person, I'm sorry they're this way.
Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
I think this is the first time in my entire life I have ever been grateful for religion.... what the f*ck...
Sheena Leversedge Wood 3 years ago
and they think atheists lack morals. nope. they do the right thing because they want to. not because they fear punishment. Ricky Gervais said someone once said to him, if you're an atheist, what stops you raping and murdering as much as you like. his response was. I already do. the amount I want to is zero. kind of chilling that their morals are so low they think it's normal to do things like that if there's no threat of punishment
#65
Text message “either you’re dead or ignoring me, I hope for my sake it’s the former”.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Weird how acting like a total douche makes the women dryer... Sorry bad joke
#66
You’re worth impregnating.
#67
That some women shouldn’t have arms, legs or a head. We are not friends anymore. He is a nurse… and anti-vax…….
#68
He was getting handsy while I said "no" several times. I said "if you aren't going to respect my boundaries then you're going to have to leave." He said "oh yeah?" and laughed. Realized in that moment that nothing I said would have made him stop.
LadyManx 3 years ago
I'll probably put this more than one place. It's pretty normal to use your hands to get their hands away from you. Forget that. You won't win. While nobody really plans ahead for these things to happen, you should visualize being able to do any or all of the following, as initially icky as it may sound. Play along until you can get your hands near his face. Then poke or scratch him in the eye really hard. If he's got your shouders pinned or you are caught with your hands down, you are near their "tender bits", grab hold, don't be afraid to cause pain. This is what they wanted to do to you and this is a way to "disarm" them. After all, that's what we see about all the ball in the groin jokes or toddlers kicking, right? They'll go down and you run like hell. Should you have on heels, don't let your first thought be to run, first distract him, then crush his instep, bot is better. Kick if you can you know where. THEN run.
Diphylleia Grayi 3 years ago
Thanks for the advice. It is disappointing to live in a world where "human" beings live for and decide to act like this :(
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Saucy Aussie 3 years ago
Did he continue to do that? Or did he stop after you said that? I really hope it’s the latter…
#69
We were both 15, and I considered him a close friend and trusted him. We were going on a walk in the woods near my house when he pushed me to the ground from behind. I remember I was so scared and he just laughed at me and said he could do anything he wanted to do to me out here, and that no one would hear me scream. Thank God he didn’t actually do anything. I didn’t know what to do afterward and wound up acting as if nothing had happened. We stayed in the same friend group for a few more months and I never told anyone what he did until years later.
#70
We were watching Promising Young Woman and he said "I kinda understand why the men in this movie do what they do"
Boris Long-Johnson 3 years ago
Maybe it’s just me but a lot of “romcoms” seem really creapy to me. I’ve not seen this particular film but the whole trope seems to be stalk some girl then disrupt her stable, mature relationship with some grand gesture preferably at her wedding and then MAGIC she’s in love with you and you can “do her”.
rhubarb 3 years ago
This is sadly the plot of a lot of shows I've seen. It's like: boy follows her everywhere, finally (forcefully) kisses her, confesses he's the stalker, she's freaked out, but then realizes her love for him. I hate these shows. My mum watches them, so I've seen my fair share. That's not how real life or a movie should work!! It's encouraging creeps like in this thread, and that makes me so mad. I agree with you.
Load More Replies... Droopsnoot 3 years ago
I don't know the movie, but it's important to understand both sides. As long as you don't think what they're doing is good. But some things can't be explained, sometimes there's just no excuse
#71
He was okay with genocide. He talked in detail of how bad people of a particular religion are. I talked to him for an hour saying that's not okay. His final statement was how pure and innocent I am. That I don't know how the world works. I said okay and haven't spoken to him over an year. He said he shouldn't have that to me and costed our friendship. Even now, he is sorry he told me not that he is okay with murder of innocent people.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Depression has given me quite a few aggressive thoughts, but never against innocents
#72
“If I can’t have you I don’t want nobody else.” “Why don’t you kiss me? You’re so boring, all my other female friends do it?!” several times After I did it, “Well that was funny memory to look back on.” (For who? Because it was disgusting to me) “I want you to have my baby, I don’t care about your future partner.” “Why don’t you like me? I’m such a gentleman.” “Oh yeah remember when you were asleep outside, you were so good and tight…..naw I was just joking.” “If I can’t have you, nobody else can.” All of this was way before he started stalking me. Not to mention after he started stalking me.
#73
“You’re so small, I could overpower you and do whatever I wanted so easily” I was like 18 and my jaw just dropped. He tried to play it off as the world’s worst joke but we didn’t talk after that.
Roomba Gloom (No/None) 3 years ago
I'm so sorry that happened. What an absolute f ucking s hithead... I'm glad you stopped talking to him.
#74
"I know you like this, why pretend you don't"
Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
Men must be delusional when they get a hard on, all the blood runs from their brain to their nuts and they behave like vile pigs. I am so glad my partner has never spoken to me in such ways. I would be gone if he did.
#75
He was trying to force me into holding his hand and I was fighting it when he said "I wouldn't do that if I were you, do you see how easy it would be to break your wrist?"
#76
“You’re lucky we haven’t had sex yet because my patience is growing thin.”
TrickQuestion 3 years ago
To me it sounds like "I'm really having to hold myself back from r**ing you"
Load More Replies... Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
Meaning that if he had of had sex with them already he would have no reason to keep them around.
Ola Polowczyk 3 years ago
My first ex insisted on having sex with me (I was 17 and a virgin) by saying "Well, I can always hire a prostitute"
#77
“I thought we were friends I thought you were cool” After refusing to have sex with him
#78
Had a lot of scary things said to me but the one I can think of on top of my head is my freshman year of high school. I was 14 or 15 yrs old and he is 3 years older than me. He said "you're not girlfriend material but we can have sex". I had a crush on him at that time and since he said that I never saw him the same and all interest that I had previously in him died. Weirdly enough we still remain contact/friends because we are both Ukrainian and the Ukrainian community here is close.
Diphylleia Grayi 3 years ago
What an as$hole. Why he thinks of himself too high to tell her that?
#79
"Let me show you something" and then proceeds to show me his peen. No thank you.
#80
He had urges to murder drunk people. Seeing drunk people made him so angry he fantasied about killing them because being drunk is so awful. He promised he hadn’t felt the urges in like 2 years. I was freshly 21 and TERRIFIED to leave, so when I brought up leaving he would say things like “I’m gonna buy a ticket to Japan and ghost everyone for months if I lose you” and start looking at flights obviously. It took like another 6 months to get the nerve to actually leave. I don’t mean like intrusive thoughts- he explained very thoroughly what he meant. He was the nicest “straight edge good guy” in the friend group so I knew no one would believe me. My current bf has never had murder fantasies which is a nice change of pace.
#81
"It's kinda hot that you look so young. You're so little, I feel like I'd break you. You're like a legal loli." I was barely 18 and he was 25. I never dated him, either. Dude also lied to me about having a party with friends at his place as a ploy to get me to come there alone at night.
Diphylleia Grayi 3 years ago (edited)
It does not matter if two people date or not, they should be respectful to each other. Why people can't decide for themselves? I said no at 13 to a 18yo and distanced myself from him because of that. He had tried several times to keep in touch it me. I can't, since that moment I knew I could not be comfortable around him any more.
#82
That when he was homeless, starving, and living in a tent city in the woods if someone died, they would eat them.
Droopsnoot 3 years ago
Sometimes fiction brings us such dillemmas, but still a subject as heavy as a quarantained blue whale
#83
A couple of male friends joked about who got my body after I died. ... yea....
rhubarb 3 years ago
This thread just gets worse. Assault fantasies, talking about children, and now necrophilia??
Diphylleia Grayi 3 years ago
This is eye-opening but in a harmful way, is sickening and disgusting how we decide to think and talk to others >:( Would not have the value to lift my face any more even insinuating one of this f#ckery!
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#84
He called me a c**k tease. He was mad that I had never looked at him as a person to date or a sexual partner. He was so mad that I 'friend-zoned' him, but I had no idea that he wanted to be more than friends. I didn't see him like that. But he saw me in short skirts, he'd come to hang out at my dorm, and he'd get mad when I'd strike up a relationship with someone else. It felt like I was being manipulated or betrayed in some way. This man was only nice to me because he wanted something. He was only my friend in hopes to trick me into a relationship or just sex.
#85
I was 15, I think that he was 17, and a mutual friend came to me freaked on my behalf, saying he’d said he was going to 'wear me down' until I agreed to go out with him. That was the last straw for me after dealing with him for months, so I told our mutual friends that I wouldn’t be hanging out with him anymore, which they agreed with, and blocked him. Thankfully, he got the message, but he did try to get back in contact about two years later. I got the text while at a bar with a friend, and I snapped. I told him how creepy he was, how I hadn’t missed him the last two years at all, I’d basically forgotten about him and a bunch of other stuff. I never heard from him again. This is pretty tame really, but it freaked me out as I knew it wasn’t okay. 'Wear me down.' Go f**k yourself.
#86
I know what college you go to. I will wait for you outside.
rhubarb 3 years ago
It does if there's been creepy behavior previously. This also sounds pretty creepy in general.
Load More Replies... #87
Met playing co-Ed soccer and he said “I want to have sex with you so I can get you pregnant, and then I’ll be a part of your life forever.” Wtf dude, I was 22!
#88
That he was going to throw me out of the car and let the alligators get me. While we were driving during a hurricane in New Orleans
#89
I am in a different country and, at that point I didn’t had familly members or a reliable support what so ever, but we were hanging out since I didn’t know a lot of people. One night he was drunk and went from a platonic conversation to “I am glad that you are not here, otherwise I would have done some bad things to you” . I was shocked and really scared after that, decided to block him everywhere and never come back
#90
I’m pretty sure I commented this last time this question was asked, but it still gives me shivers thinking about it. But we were talking about kinks (we were just friends but were, at the time, comfortable enough to talk about that stuff). I said how I didn’t really know what mine were but I knew I definitely did NOT like the idea of being choked. In fact, any kind of suffocation in movies or shows freaks me out so deeply that I have to close my eyes and cover my ears until it’s over. He knew this. We’d had conversations about it before. But that day he said “what if you sleep with someone and they don’t know that?” So I said obviously I’d tell them. And then he said “what if they pressed too hard and you couldn’t tell them?” Like. Why is that in any way an okay thing to say/ ask? No.
Nemo 3 years ago (edited)
This is what happens when people normalise r*pe p*rn and forget that there are consenting paying adults playing in these. There are a couple of documentaries on it
Load More Replies... #91
In high school i was s*xually harassed by this guy a couple years younger than me and my guy friend who was in my grade said he wanted to talk to the guy who had harassed and threatened me to “see how he thinks,” and could not see for a long time why that made me so uncomfortable and upset.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe it was like when you watch one of those serial killer documentaries, and you're just trying to figure out how anybody can be that way
#92
Groomed me and told me he wanted me to treat/refer to him as a god
#93
"I could dissolve you with this acid haha" chemistry was never my favourite class, turns out this guy had a crush on me and i cut the contact
#94
"You're so skinny, I feel like I could just break you in half!" Dude had some other issues, we're not friends anymore.
#95
He said he wanted to kill himself.
Sam 3 years ago
Without context this seems more like a cry for help than anything threatening to a woman
Russell Romick 3 years ago
“What’s The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?” is the name of the article, not threatening. To her it was the scariest thing.
Load More Replies... #96
My best friend told me he's eaten human flesh. He was part of a rough crowd in his early years. Wasn't till after he'd eaten it they told him what it really was was a human cheek. Said it tasted like pork just a bit more chewy.
#97
"I have cancer"
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
Oh. Not the same type of scary as the rest, but it's sad. I remember how much I panicked when my dad said he had a cancerous mole that he got removed. I freaked out, because what if it HADN'T been noticed? What would've happened then? I hope your friend is alright now. P.S. My dad is fine.
#98
"you're lucky you're dressed"
#99
Not exactly scary but it freeeaaaked me out. "We should've ended up married" Me: "It wouldn't have worked, we want different things. I don't ever want kids, I plan on getting fixed, and I know you do. That would've ruined whatever we have going for us." "I'm serious, marry me and my insurance will cover that operation! I have really good insurance and make good money, it would be so easy. I don't know if I even want kids anymore because of hers." He was already in another relationship he refused to leave so I don't know what the hell he was thinking lol
#100
This was the day after I drunkenly said we'd be a power couple because our majors in college complemented each other well to start a business. "I went on a break with my girlfriend so we could try dating to see if it works" "Just kiss me once, if there's no spark I'll stop bringing up the idea of us dating" "I need to go to Jerusalem, I'm the missing link"
Roomba Gloom (No/None) 3 years ago
Okay, I understood what was going on up until the last sentence...
#101
I love you. The friendship was sadly over the moment he confessed.
nini 3 years ago
Hmm, I had this situation with some of my male friends. Falling in love with friends can happen and is not "creepy" per se, as long as it is handled in a "normal", respectful way.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
Yeah. For most people you can forget it happened. In my case he is still trying to get me to love him but i thankfully have him blocked everywhere. In friends having crushes on each other it won’t escalate to this level usually
Load More Replies... #102
He said "he was racing so he could die and wanted me to save him from his habit?!!" He was a biker and used to do illegal street races. And this was when we were planning our first date!
#103
looked me dead in the eye, very intoxicated on mardis gras a few years ago and told me “i need help.”
Abigail Coty 3 years ago
Without context this could also be seen as a cry for help.. literally.. umm..
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
I think that it just is a different type of scary. You aren't scared for yourself; you're scared for your friend.
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#104
"I'm not really a big fan of pizza."
athornedrose 3 years ago
dude had been my friend for years. tried to politely ask me out and i said i didn't see him like that. tone switched real quick. started shouting that he set me up with enough guys he knew would reject me. i should feel vulnerable enough to sleep with him by now. he had, indeed, just set me up with a friend who'd turned me down. i told him that was really crappy of him and he told me no one besides him will ever put up with my anxiety disorder or bother approaching me because of my weight. i haven't spoken to him in 10 years. it really messed me up. still don't really date.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
I didn't get very far through this list before I just couldn't read anymore. I feel very lucky that most of the guys I've been friends with or dated have been really really good guys.
What do you think ?
Q B F T 3 years ago
A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person.
Eppe 3 years ago
Huh, "friendzoning" and 'fuckzoning". Never thought about it but that's a fair comparison.
Load More Replies... lenka 3 years ago
Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture.
Krásnoočko Zelené 3 years ago
My colleague, a professor with whom we were on friendly terms and first name basis, once stated in a very jolly tone that he hates it when his wife cries in front of him and that he feels like slapping her when it happens. At an international conference in front of other professors and researchers from our community, many of whom were female of course.
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
I never will understand, why some guys are so scared of woman/ girls- they have to possess/ humilate/ haunt us just to feel mightier Stop the hell to get so fragile about your masculinity so we can feel safe again.
Naesil 3 years ago
Good on you, but that situation is troublesome, if you throw into that mix that the guy who is very attracted to the girl is also highly intoxicated.. it will most likely end up to sex that either or both might regret next day.
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El Dee 3 years ago
We aren't raising our young men well enough. We allow them to think the most horrifying things without correcting them and we STILL have this who thing about 'boys will be boys' We need to start VERY early teaching them about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour and about WHY that is. There's WAY too much of this. I know men will say 'not all men...' but how is anyone meant to know WHICH men..
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Certain people should be locked up and kept away from the rest of society, I'm starting to believe.
Ghosts 3 years ago
I have an ex friend who is basically a sex pest. I've literally had to drag him away from women he's been harassing by the scruff of his neck (apologising to the woman simultaneously). He has mental health problems & he thinks he's God's gift to women despite having the looks & personality of a stillborn turd. He's the kind of person who would take advantage of a drunk/incapacitated woman without a second thought. Luckily he never leaves his house much anymore & his looks/personality prevent any woman getting close to him. I'm no longer his friend, he's done nothing I can get him arrested for (which I would have done at the drop of a hat) but the urge to beat the everloving s**t out of him was becoming too much. I only remained his 'friend' to keep an eye on his behaviour but I could only tolerate so much. If I stayed in contact with him, it would be ME who got arrested, yet he's allowed to continue behaving the way he does because he's dismissed as "harmless" due to mental health.
- 3 years ago
I've had male friends interested in more. Two had crushes on me and were sweet about it. We stayed on good terms. I even gave one dating advice because I felt he'd make a very good boyfriend for someone else (my advice worked - I'm very happy for him and his wife). The third was crude to me and married at the time. I dumped him.
Q B F T 3 years ago
A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person.
Eppe 3 years ago
Huh, "friendzoning" and 'fuckzoning". Never thought about it but that's a fair comparison.
Load More Replies... lenka 3 years ago
Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture.
Krásnoočko Zelené 3 years ago
My colleague, a professor with whom we were on friendly terms and first name basis, once stated in a very jolly tone that he hates it when his wife cries in front of him and that he feels like slapping her when it happens. At an international conference in front of other professors and researchers from our community, many of whom were female of course.
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
I never will understand, why some guys are so scared of woman/ girls- they have to possess/ humilate/ haunt us just to feel mightier Stop the hell to get so fragile about your masculinity so we can feel safe again.
Naesil 3 years ago
Good on you, but that situation is troublesome, if you throw into that mix that the guy who is very attracted to the girl is also highly intoxicated.. it will most likely end up to sex that either or both might regret next day.
Load More Replies... El Dee 3 years ago
We aren't raising our young men well enough. We allow them to think the most horrifying things without correcting them and we STILL have this who thing about 'boys will be boys' We need to start VERY early teaching them about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour and about WHY that is. There's WAY too much of this. I know men will say 'not all men...' but how is anyone meant to know WHICH men..
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Certain people should be locked up and kept away from the rest of society, I'm starting to believe.
Ghosts 3 years ago
I have an ex friend who is basically a sex pest. I've literally had to drag him away from women he's been harassing by the scruff of his neck (apologising to the woman simultaneously). He has mental health problems & he thinks he's God's gift to women despite having the looks & personality of a stillborn turd. He's the kind of person who would take advantage of a drunk/incapacitated woman without a second thought. Luckily he never leaves his house much anymore & his looks/personality prevent any woman getting close to him. I'm no longer his friend, he's done nothing I can get him arrested for (which I would have done at the drop of a hat) but the urge to beat the everloving s**t out of him was becoming too much. I only remained his 'friend' to keep an eye on his behaviour but I could only tolerate so much. If I stayed in contact with him, it would be ME who got arrested, yet he's allowed to continue behaving the way he does because he's dismissed as "harmless" due to mental health.
- 3 years ago
I've had male friends interested in more. Two had crushes on me and were sweet about it. We stayed on good terms. I even gave one dating advice because I felt he'd make a very good boyfriend for someone else (my advice worked - I'm very happy for him and his wife). The third was crude to me and married at the time. I dumped him.
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